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[21 Nov 2009|12:02pm] List of CDs I'm going to buy (eventually): Third Eye Blind - Ursa Major Atmosphere - When Life Gives You Lemons, You Paint that Shit Gold The Offspring - Rise and Fall, Rage and Grace Paramore - Riot! Paramore - Brand New Eyes Good Charlotte - Good Morning Revival Brand New - Daisy Brand New - Deja Entendu Thursday - War All the Time Thursday - A City by the Light Divided The Starting Line - Direction Shiny Toy Guns - We Are Pilots Rise Against - Appeal to Reason Placebo - Without You, I'm Nothing Bright Eyes - Digital Ash in a Digital Urn Bright Eyes - I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning Islands - Return to the Sea Hot Hot Heat - Make Up in the Breakdown Hot Hot Heat - Elevator Hollywood Undead - Swan Songs The Faint - Wet From Birth The Early November - For All of This The Early November - The Mother, The Mechanic, and the Path Death Cab for Cutie - Narrow Stairs Dead Poetic - New Medicines Dashboard Confessional - The Shade of Poison Trees Atreyu - Best Of Atreyu - Lead Sails, Paper Anchor Armor for Sleep - Dream to Make Believe Across Five Aprils - A Tragedy in Progress //___

[20 Nov 2009|12:50pm] [ music | Rage Against the Machine - Renegades of Funk ] I had no idea how many people from Virginia there are in the emoleericks community on blurty. There are four, including me: one from Virginia Beach, one from Bristol, and another (Deanna) from Richmond where I live. So Deanna and I are trying to rendezvous downtown at a concert. I know I said I'd never EVER meet up with anyone I've met online, but it's a public place so I'll have plenty of witnesses if she ends up being a he, and a serial rapist. Speaking of rape, did anyone hear about that girl in Richmond, California who was gang raped at her high school's homecoming dance, in the dark with no security cameras and everyone either just stood there and watched, or walked away and NO ONE called for help! What the fuck is wrong with everybody?! //___

[20 Nov 2009|11:21am] [ music | Xiu Xiu - Under Pressure ] I don't really want to, but I'm going with Patrick and Stephanie to Durham to have Thanksgiving with their family. Matthew and his parents might come, too. It was either that, or go to Keyser, West Virginia with MY family and see my cousin and his new wife and I am NOT doing that. //___

[19 Nov 2009|12:36pm] On a Tuesday afternoon my mom came in my room and said get the fuck up outta bed and get a god damned job so I told her hey hey fuck you mom and threw the phone at her head but I missed and hit her in the snatch so I slammed the door in her face don't ever barge in my room or I'll kick your ass and call the cops and tell them I'm abused and you'll wind up in jail while I go snowboard in Vale no one to post your bail cause daddy loves me more he says that you're a... You're worthless, you're lazy, you're stupid a little over weight now give me 20 bucks Mommy, you're worthless, you're lazy, you're stupid a little over weight now give me 20 bucks no make it 50 bucks Now mom writes me letters I write return to sender let her rot there in her cell I watch the dogs mate on her bed sorry mommy I had to pawn the china silver and all your jewelry I had to eat and rent a bunch of prostitutes like you Guttermouth - Lipstick //___

[19 Nov 2009|11:07am] This week at work has actually been FUN. The airbelt isn't overwhelming at all; in fact, we all stand around and talk for several minutes at a time, doing nothing but waiting for packages. We talk about any and everything, really: baseball, tattoos, piercings, etc. And the best part of it is, Mike Matthews finally retired! Adam told Gail and I today, but he told Gail something he didn't tell me: that he drove around doing donuts on someone's yard in the truck yesterday and didn't fix it so they made him "retire" two days early. Don said that he thought Mike's last day was tomorrow, but yesterday was. I think he ruined someone's yard on purpose so he could retire sooner. I don't know why he waited THIS long, because he hates everybody and everybody hates him. He complains and bitches about everything. When Don talked to him about retiring, all he did was grunt in response. So TL, Don, Gail, and I all talked about how much we hate him and how glad we are that he's gone. Really, most of what we did today was stand around and talk. It was so light; I had maybe 450 pieces as opposed to over 800 on the boxline. It's going to be really hard to go back after Christmas. Even yesterday, which was the heaviest day of the week by far, was no match for the volume on the boxlines. On my way home, I saw my mom getting out of her car at her work, so I pulled into the parking lot and talked to her. My dad's still sick so I made him some tea and he might go to the doctor's office so I'll drive him there, if my mom's not home by then. This week has gone by really fast. I don't know if it's because the airbelt is a cakewalk or because I've slept through most of the week, or a combination of both, but next week is Thanksgiving already and it's only a three-day week! Oh yeah! I also saw Theresa today; she was leaving and I was coming to work, and she asked if Mary had her baby yet and I said I don't know, because I haven't talked to anyone who knows. She asked me like I knew and she didn't and she's out of the loop, but I guess we both are. Most of the people we all knew were from the airbelt and they either quit or are on a different shift. Donna might know but she's on vacation this week. //___

[16 Nov 2009|03:36pm] I got this weird test in the mail on Saturday that's supposed to test my A1C levels in my blood. A1C levels are used to check for diabetes in patients, but I thought I already had it. So what's the point? I don't understand. I got it through my prescription drug insurance for free, and it came with everything I need, except the needle. I don't know how or where I'm supposed to get it done, or if I have to. I don't want to get blood drawn if I don't have to, because I get all my insurance is through my work; I don't know who voluntarily would. They wouldn't deny me coverage because I have diabetes; they can't. That's illegal. //___

[16 Nov 2009|09:16am] [ music | Beastie Boys - Girls ] The airbelt started today. I have to admit, I was a little bit apprehensive because what if it's not as easy as I remembered it? But it was; EASIER than I remembered, actually. I got there 20 minutes early so I sat in my car for 10 minutes but then I couldn't stand it anymore so I went inside, clocked in, and walked to the airbelt. I saw a bunch of people already standing around by the airbelt so I stood around with them while the supervisors put the trucks in. Gail showed up with Adam and we waited more than an hour before packages started coming down. Gail said that she and Adam waited for me for a while but I was already down there because i know where it is. I was the only one of the original people on the airbelt. Donna's on vacation, Mary's having a baby, Brian quit, Zonnie and Theresa work Twilight and Midnight now, and Noel and Johnny are now supervisors for the airbelt. Eric's on metro but I don't know why he's not on the airbelt. It's kind of disconcerting that Johnny and Noel are supervisors now, especially Noel because he's been there barely a year, and was hired after I was. So it's kind of hard to take orders from someone I have seniority over. But it was so easy today; we didn't start until almost 5am, and I clocked out at 7:47. I only had three trucks today, but who knows how it'll be tomorrow. When my mom asked me why I was home so early, I told her and she basically said that I'm disposable because I don't do a lot of work. That's just the way the airbelt is! I had 4-5 trucks on the boxline, but now I have three. Some people have two, or even one. That's just the way the airbelt is designed. It doesn't mean I'm any less valuable to the company. That's why the airbelt is so much lighter than the boxline. Nobody has more than 3 trucks. Sorry if you don't like it, but that's just the way it IS. //___

[14 Nov 2009|08:35pm] [ music | Rancid - Poison ] Stanford beat up on USC today, 55-21. That score should've been the other way around. I cannot believe USC has lost THREE TIMES this season. I can't even remember the last time that happened. And they were all in the PAC 10 so now they have no chance of going to the Rose Bowl. I'd hate for everyone to think it's because of true freshman Matt Barkley; it's really USC's defense that's ruining their season. It's not what it used to be 5 years ago, or even last year. Their loss to Oregon and now to Stanford were the most points scored on them under Pete Carroll. Also, Matt Barkley isn't getting any protection from the offensive line. You know he's good if he's a true freshman starting quarterback. He started all 4 years of varsity football in high school and the coach even let him call his own plays. He's went to the same high school Matt Leinart did. He'll be a captain next year for sure. He already acts as a leader and a motivator for the team. HOWEVER...he's a true freshman so he SHOULD be good...and he is. But I'm also one of those people who doubted him the first game, until USC beat San Jose State in the first game of the season something like 56-3. From then on, I expected all their games to be like that. Now that they lost 3 games to teams they could've easily beaten, lots of people place the blame squarely on the quarterback. I don't want to be one of those people, because I know better, but another part of me is thinking, if Matt Barkley is so damn good, why is his team losing? //___

[14 Nov 2009|10:44am] The Dow Jones has been hovering around 10,000 for weeks now, and the Nasdaq recently topped 2,100 for the first time in I can't even remember. They've both been trending upward since March. Anyone who thinks Obama doesn't have some positive effect on our economy is living in a strange republican fantasy land, or WANTS Obama to fail so they can say that they were right. It was our beloved George W. Bush who got us into this economic mess to begin with, and left it for his successor to clean up. It would've been a problem for anyone who took office, so I don't know why so many people are still using Obama as a scapegoat for the state of our nation at the end of the Bush administration. It's nutty. //___

[14 Nov 2009|09:42am] My mom's having a little bit of a delayed reaction to my tattoo; she first saw it on Wednesday morning but she seemed to have gotten over it quickly and didn't say anything about it until just now, when I went downstairs. She bitched at me, saying that I had no right to do that. I'm 25 years old; she needs to get used to the fact that I'm going to do what I want now. I'm well into adulthood and I work hard for my money. I'm going to spend it on whatever I please. If I want a few tattoos and piercings and if I want to dye my hair sometimes I'm going to. I'm an adult and that's the way it is. //___

[12 Nov 2009|07:57pm] The name "obamacare" is a pretty clear giveaway that it's about hatred for the president, not the legislation. Obama hasn't written one word of the legislation, nor has he had the opportunity to sign or veto it, Clinton tried to fix health care too, and the push to reform the health care system has been there for decades. People are sadly misinformed. 1 | //___

[12 Nov 2009|11:07am] There's a flood warning in effect for Chesterfield county starting at 8pm tonight, and there's currently a flood watch in effect for my area. It's supposed to rain through tomorrow and FINALLY stop tomorrow night, maybe. update: There's now a flood warning from Friday to Sunday for the James River just a few miles from where I live. //___

[12 Nov 2009|09:54am] It's still raining; it's been raining all night and all morning. Boostie wanted to go outside so I let him out when I left for work. He went off the porch and into the grass. I waited around for a few minutes just in case he wanted to go back in, but he stayed outside in the rain. I just got home from work and both cats are in; Bootsie's on my parents' bed and Smudges is on my bed. They're definitely not going outside today. I can't help but think of all the stray cats and if they're ok right now, because my cats have a safe, warm, dry place to be. Adam was a pain in the ass today, as he usually is when he's actually around. Supervisors are never around, though. My pull today wasn't so bad, but Mike's was. He even needed Kevin to help him. And Adam told me to help too, when my cages were empty. He kept yelling at me and said, "how many times do I have to ask you?" And I mumbled to myself (but loud enough for him to hear me) that I never get any help when I have five trucks like I did yesterday, even when I ask for it, so why should I help anyone? And how do you know I'm not helping? You're never around. Variances of that. How DOES he know that I'm not helping Mike? He DOESN'T. I asked Adam for help yesterday when I had five trucks and he didn't get me any help at all. He just said, "stack out the heavy cages so when empty ones come by, you can load the stack outs." That by itself wouldn't have been so bad if he didn't badger me today about helping someone else when he didn't get me help yesterday when I asked for it. I never get help when I ask for it. So by the end of the day, I was so fuming and pissed off, that I started to cry. I wasn't upset or sad or overwhelmed; I just felt like Adam's picking on me for whatever reason, I don't know. And it's fucking frustrating as hell! Ever since he became supervisor of the Petersburg boxline, he's made me go to the slide so many times I can't even count. Far more for sure than anyone else. And he makes me help various people when no one helps me. And I'm always the one who has to take the missorts to their rightful boxlines. No one else ever does that but me. The part time supervisors see that Adam makes me do everything so they follow his example and it's really obnoxious. Mike the driver asked, "so how do you like Adam as a supervisor?" And I said, "HE'S A JERK!" And Mike laughed because he expected me to say something to that effect. I'm still pissed off and even when I cool down I'll ever admit that I overreacted. //___

[11 Nov 2009|07:27pm] [ music | 311 - Peaceful Revolution ] Right now we're getting the remnants of hurricane Ida, which is just a huge cluster of thunderstorms with a radius of probably 500 miles or more. We've gotten a lot of hurricanes' leftovers that've been more severe but ended quickly. This rain is just constant without any sign of letting up. Our yard and the neighbor's yard are starting to flood; I can see the moonlight reflecting off the water. My cats are crazy; they want to be outside but I'm afraid they'll drown. One of them, the bolder of the two, was actually outside in the rain for more than a half hour; she came from the woods behind our house, and I kept calling her for at least 10 minutes until she finally sauntered up to the porch and inside. They're not going back out again tonight, and depending on tomorrow's conditions, I may not let them out until Friday or Saturday. My dad's supposed to be driving home in this rain tomorrow from West Virginia. I hope he makes it home alright. I've never been scared of a flood before; it's happened in low-lying downtown but that was during hurricane Gaston in 2004, and it wasn't much better when hurricane Isabel hit in 2003 and I got a week off school due to the damage. Those hurricanes lasted MAYBE a day and it didn't rain the entire time but it was windy as hell; the power was out after Isabel for two or three days. It's not really windy right now, and there's no thunder or lightning and the rain isn't even heavy. It's just a lot of steady rain that's been falling since yesterday afternoon, around 4:30. I do NOT want to go to work in this tomorrow. //___

[11 Nov 2009|09:27am] My mom found out about my tattoo this morning right before I left for work, so she didn't have too much time to be mad about it. She kept asking why I didn't get something small. I'm not going to get just ANYTHING tattooed on me for the rest of my life. It's something I want. But she still hasn't discovered my gauged ears or my industrial piercing. I'm 25 years old; it's time she realized that I'm going to do what I want. //___

Obama is a capitalist, not a socialist. [07 Nov 2009|02:09pm] Is anyone else tired of the "Obama is a socialist" rhetoric coming from the far right. I sure am and I would like to take this opportunity to define socialism and then to demonstrate why Obama is not a subscriber to this economic theory. I detest conservatives throwing around the words “socialism” and “Marxism” when it comes to Obama as much as I get angry when idiot liberals toss around the word “fascist” when describing conservatives. I’m sorry but this is ignorant. It bespeaks a lack of knowledge of what socialism and communism represent as well as an ignorance of simple definitions. Obama will not set up a government agency to plan the economy. He will not as president, require businesses to meet targets for production. He will not outlaw profit. He will not put workers in charge of companies (unless it is negotiated between unions and management. It is not unheard of in this country and the practice may become more common in these perilous economic times.). An Obama presidency will have more regulation, more “oversight,” more interference from government agencies, more paperwork for business, less business creation, fewer jobs, fewer opportunities. It will be friendlier to unions, more protectionist, and will require higher taxes from corporations (who then will simply pass the tax bill on to us, their customers). But government won’t run the economy. And calling Obama a “socialist” simply ignores all of the above and substitutes irrationalism (or ignorance) for the reality of what an Obama presidency actually represents; a lurch to the left that will be detrimental to the economy, bad for business, but basically allow market forces to continue to dominate our economy. Obama’s friendship with Ayers, Rezko, Wright, Pfleger, Meeks, Khalidi, as well as his working with Richard Daley’s Chicago Machine was the result of his overweening ambition and not due to any ideological affinity or strain of corruption in his makeup. He may have taken a scholarly interest in some of the ideas put forth by Ayers and he might have seen working to approve some of Ayers’ radical ideas as good politics (Ayers was an ally of Daley in the School wars of the 1990’s). Socialism does not describe a single economic system, however there are certain principles that are common to all forms of socialism. 1. The abolition of private property and the implementation of some form of collective ownership. In other words, the people, or their representatives (a government, party, union, guild, etc.) control land, property, and capital as a group instead of it being controlled privately by individuals and companies as in capitalism. 2. The elimination of social and economic classes. Under socialism there is no rich and poor and equality in wealth and power. 3. Production according to ability and distribution according to need. Thus in a socialist society, all produce goods and provide services according to their talents and skills and receive whatever goods and services they need from other producers. Historically, this distribution method has been accomplished through a government bureaucracy, but state control is not a necessary quality of socialism. In other words socialists seek to eliminate the capitalist (supply and demand) form of distribution. In order to defend my thesis that Obama is not a socialist, I will look at three of his policies as president that have most often resulted in the misuse of that label--the bailout of the auto companies, the economic stimulus, and his current health care proposal. First, the auto bailout. A socialist, as mentioned above, opposes private ownership and would want automobile manufacture to be controlled collectively and for automobiles to be distributed according to need. The auto bailout's goal, however, was to help the private companies, known as the Big 3, to survive as private institutions that sell their cars according to what customers will pay for them. Thus, its goal was to preserve an aspect of capitalism (the American share of the automobile market), not establish socialism. The economic stimulus, officially called the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act of 2009, had a similar intent. The recovery's website lists several goals of the act. Some of them include reviving the renewable energy industry, investing in infrastructure, and granting tax credits to working families. These are not the goals of a socialist. Remember that a socialist seeks to eliminate private property and companies, not revive them. A socialist would also do the infrastructure investment differently. Under socialism, the government would enlist employees directly to rebuild infrastructure, not hire private contractors who will in turn hire employees as is the case in this act. Finally, the tax credits are meant to encourage spending by individuals to reinvigorate the economy. The basic premise is that the recipients of these tax credits will use the money to make purchases. This will help companies, who will use their extra earnings to hire more employees, who will be able to spend themselves, thus restarting the economy and saving capitalism. This is known as Keynesian economics, not socialism. The cash for clunkers program also works this way, encouraging spending by subsidizing the purchase with government spending. No socialist would ever try to save capitalism, which they see as the creator of the class system that they despise. President Obama's health care plan is possibly the policy that most often results in Obama being accused of being a socialist. However, it is also the policy that best demonstrates that he is not. Obama's health care plan has many stipulations, but the primary one is the creation of a public option for health care through which insurance is purchased as a group for a lower premium. This would, however, only be an option. Persons would not be required to drop their existing insurance, nor would private insurance companies be eliminated. The plan also includes several reforms that are meant to reduce health care costs, including subsidies for employers, record-keeping improvements, and regulations of prescription drug companies. These reforms are made without nationalizing any private entities. It even seeks to help small business, by assisting them in paying for their employee health benefits. It doesn't even distribute health care according to need, as persons are still required to pay for the public option. It is therefore quite clear that this bill is not a "socialist" bill, nor is President Obama a socialist. President Obama is a capitalist. His policies are directed at rescuing companies, revitalizing the capitalist economy, helping small businesses, and creating competition, all things actual socialists would cringe at. So please stop saying that Obama is a socialist, please stop posting it on your blogs, or yelling it at town meetings, or wearing T-shirts of it, or writing it on picket signs. Concentrate instead on legitimate criticisms of his policies and your opposition will be much more effective and better received. //___

sometimes i, i just can’t sleep, thinking of everything we could have been. [06 Nov 2009|09:26pm] [ music | Alien Ant Farm - Movies ] I started college in 2003. It was a brand new, somewhat overwhelming experience for me. It took me a lot longer than most to adjust to being away from home. Truth is, I don't think I ever really adjusted. That's why after my first semester of my second year, I transferred to a college back here in Richmond. But my homesickness wasn't the only reason. It was more than college that changed my life: I guess I was always a geek, even before we got a computer. We didn't get the internet until 2000 and I had an hour time limit each day. After we got comcast though, I was on a lot more, but still just playing neopets and not really using AIM. I still had some self control. So when I got my own computer with an internet connection in college in the fall of 2003, you'd think I could handle it, but instead I abused it. The internet seems like such a silly, trivial, inconsequential thing, but I didn't realize how dependent I was on it until I got to school and it didn't work for the first few weeks. I was going CRAZY with boredom. I never really had a lot of friends and I'm anti-social so I'm horrible around people. so the internet was a great way to escape reality. Until the internet BECAME my reality. And my life. That was the problem, I guess. I developed such a skewed sense of reality because my life revolved around the internet, one AIM chatroom in particular: music0. I didn't invest much time in it at first because I didn't want to get too close to people I could lose. It was the first time though, I had people in my life that I wanted to be around. My life was so boring and cliche though, so I made up lies to make myself more interesting, someone I thought I'd like to be, someone I thought other people would like. I'm not a compulsive liar by any stretch of the imagination, but the internet is a place where you can be whoever you want to be, and no one's the wiser. I lied about everything: my gender, my age, my location, my college, my birthdate, my religion, my siblings, my parents, my WHOLE LIFE. I had no drama in my life. So I created it. I'm an attention whore. I wanted all the attention from everyone. I didn't care who hated me, they were talking about me. And that's what I wanted. And the lies I told them, they believed. At first I was paranoid, afraid I'd get caught and I thought it'd be easier if I just abandon this phantom persona I'd created and start over as myself but people grew to like me as who they thought I was. I was drawn to one person in particular: Eric. We had (almost) everything in common, from our love of the same music, to our sarcastic, dry, yet immature sense of humor and the fact that we'd do anything for a laugh, even at the expense of other people. The following year though, in early March, I told a lie that changed my whole life. I said that I was gay, which is obviously the biggest and worst lie I've ever told. After all the lies I'd already told, I didn't think one more would be a big deal, even on the internet, despite how hopelessly attached I'd become to it and everyone I'd met on it. So Eric "discovered" that he was "bi." Or at least he thought he was. So we began dating via the internet but I had no communication with him or anyone outside of the internet. I couldn't let them find out who I really was. What would I do for fun now? Plus, they were all my friends and I didn't want to lose them. I was past the point of no return. Eric and I had a much worse relationship than we did friendship, and we threatened to harm ourselves in some way if the other did something we didn't like. It was such an unhealthy relationship and it never should've happened. But he was the first and only person I've ever loved. I'm still in love with him and I think about him every day; some days more than others, some days I dwell and obsess. I dream about him at night, and I stalk him on facebook and myspace. I haven't talked to him in over three years, and we broke up more than five years ago. All because he cheated on me with a girl named Ashley (this is her journal). I know it's ultimately my fault for not being honest from the beginning; we might still be together now, or at least be friends but now we don't talk at all. I don't even think he thinks about me. Maybe if I didn't think about or know him at all, my life would've been better. The fact that I lied to Eric and everyone else just amplified the drama in my life. Even if he had cheated, I still would've known it's not because of anything I did. At least I would've been honest with myself and everyone else, but I wanted to create a life people would be impressed by. And it ruined mine. The drama consumed me that whole summer, my first one back from college (2004). I found out the day after I came home. That whole summer I felt sick to my stomach, nauseated, shaking, staying up all night, sleeping all day, feeling paranoid, suicidal...the love triangle of lies continued for months, almost a year until Ashley came to visit Eric but she ended up lying to him, too. When she visited him in LA, he saw the truth and finally ended it. I had enough though; I tried to kill myself by taking 30 of my mom's cancer pills and a few of her imitrex but I involuntarily puked it up and I became shaky and couldn't sleep. The next day, my dad took me to the ER and subsequently, I was escorted on a stretcher in an ambulance to a mental hospital a few miles down the road. I cried a lot and couldn't sleep; I felt so helpless and sick over the situation. But I got to go home a day later because I wrote about my feelings about the situation rationally enough for them to let me go. it was the worst I've ever felt before and I've never felt worse since. But it was the best time of my life; not that my life is worse now by comparison, it's just so boring and uneventful and friendless. But I need to be honest with myself here; I'm conflicted. I want to go back to when I was 18-19 and do it all over again, just the way it was, because people liked me, I liked me, and I was young. I'm afraid of getting older so if I could just go back to when I was just on the cusp of adulthood yet without any real responsibilities, I'd give anything. I don't want to be young now, necessarily, because I wouldn't be the same person I was then. I don't want to give that part of my life up. But I don't talk to any of those people anymore. They still talk to each other sometimes on facebook or myspace but no one talks to each other every day for hours at a time like we used to. The other reason I want to go back is so that I COULD start over and do the right thing and be honest from the beginning this time. Maybe these people would still be my friends. Maybe I'd still be with Eric. Maybe they'd be at our wedding. Maybe we'd be friends forever, talk on the phone, see each other on holidays or weekends, or during the summer...but I ruined a really good thing because of just one lie. One lie can fuck up your whole life. And it's just not worth it. I don't think this all would still consume me if I'd only been honest from the start. What's really bothering me is that I never got closure. I never knew how it would really end. I just know I ruined it before it ever began. It never had a chance because of me and my lies. So I guess I need to forgive myself, and also let go of what never was. It's just so hard because it could have been. If only I'd told the truth, I wouldn't be wondering now. //___

[05 Nov 2009|05:07pm] I just watched "By the People: The Election of Barack Obama" on HBO2. It had just started so I missed a few minutes of it but it chronicles the campaign and election of Obama starting when he was virtually a nobody. I saw so many young people working for him on the campaign trail as volunteers and they were invested in every moment of it; they cried when they won a caucus, and they cried when they lost a primary. One Korean-American guy in particular caught my attention because his parents came over from Korea to get married in America, and he lived his first couple years of life in a car, and now he's working for the next president of the United States (who, by the way, couldn't even vote less than 50 years ago). It made me wish I'd volunteered for his cause as well, and regret that I missed him speak at the Coliseum here in Richmond last year. The documentary brought back overwhelming pride and I remembered how I felt that night a year ago when I fell asleep counting the electoral votes and waking up to hearing, "Barack Obama is the 44th president-elect" and when he began his speech from Grant Park in Chicago, I fell to my knees and sobbed tears of joy. I couldn't go back to sleep that entire night. Obama has so much poise, professionalism, and class; and so do his wife and daughters. He knew all of his volunteers by name and was so personable and friendly to them, giving them hugs, talking to them, joking with them, etc. I wish so badly I could've experienced that. In the penultimate segment when Obama's grandmother died and right before Election Day, he gave a speech in here memory where he was crying, but you couldn't tell just by hearing his voice or looking at him, unless the light hit his face just right. Only then, could you see a lone tear streaking down his face but there was no quiver in his voice, and no breakdown. In the same speech when the crowd booed upon the mention of George W. Bush's failed administration, he said, "you don't need to boo, you just need to vote." He has such poise and grace, it's truly amazing. At the very end, when the two campaign managers left the main Chicago headquarters, the security guards and maintenance staff were the only ones left because it was so late, but they applauded them for their work for the entire two-year campaign. The Korean guy called him mom, crying because he was so happy that it was over and all his hard work along with everyone else's vote, meant something and changed the world. It's so sad that people my parents' age think young people don't care about politics, but it fills me with a huge sense of pride to know that last year Stephanie and so many other college-age students and old people who could barely move WITH assistance waited for hours in the cold and rain to vote because they knew it was the right thing to do and they wanted change. And they wanted to be that change. //___

Top 5 reasons you can't blame the BCS for the lack of a playoff in division 1-A college football: [04 Nov 2009|08:52pm] Reason #5: "The U.S. Supreme Court" Basic rundown: The U.S. Supreme Court signed off on allowing schools to negotiate television contracts, blocking the NCAA's stranglehold over who gets to be shown on TV. This, as SEC Commish Roy Kramer puts it, indirectly gave conferences the power to control how the Bowl system plays out. I really don't understand it completely, but I got the gist. What's wrong with it: As far as not blaming the BCS, this one is legit. However, the show pointed the blame at the wrong guy. Blaming the Supreme Court for the problems that the TV contracts have caused is like blaming a parent when a kid breaks a toy she let him play with. Sure, they enabled, but it's the fault of the colleges and their money-grubbing ways. I still don't get how the TV contracts block a playoff, but I don't see how this one could be on the BCS Do I blame the BCS: No, this is on the schools. Reason #4: "It's better than before" Basic rundown: It's better than the previous system. What's wrong with it: IT IS NOT A GODDAMN REASON, THAT'S WHAT WRONG WITH IT. IT'S "BETTER", BIG WHOOP. THAT DOESN'T MAKE IT GOOD. I MEAN, SHIT. Do I blame the BCS: N/A, as this has absolutely nothing to do with a playoff in the least. Reason #3: "A More Suspenseful Regular Season" Basic Rundown: Every week is a playoff, makes it more exciting. What's wrong with it: This old tired argument was a piece of shit when it was first spewed out of someone's asshole of a mouth. Every week is NOT a playoff, and it never was. A playoff doesn't allow for undefeated teams to have no shot at the national title, a playoff doesn't allow for a team to not win their conference and go to the National Title. A playoff is a PLAYOFF, and the regular season isn't that. As far as making the regular season more exciting, anyone who makes that their reason for liking the BCS is a terrible human being. These college kids spend half the year working harder than any regular person, blood, sweat, and tears, to go out and play football, and you want a system that might deny them of a National Championship FOR NO REASON just to amuse you? Fucking disgrace. Funny shit on this one, though. One guy said "Every week is a playoff. If you lose one, you could be out of it. If you lose two, you're definitely out of it". First off, in what conceivable playoff can you ever say "Could be out of it"? In a playoff, you're either out or in. Never a could. But the funny shit is that this dude was proven completely and utterly wrong two years later, when two-loss LSU strolled their way into the National Championship, and #1 USC had to settle for co-champions after they defeated Michigan. I thought the BCS was supposed to decide, without a doubt, who is #1. Well, it didn't, did it? Do I blame the BCS: Yes, but not just the BCS. I blame every single son of a bitch who's ever said that the "Regular season is so exciting" or "It's a playoff". Reason #2: The Bowl System. Basic Rundown: The (Money-making) Bowls would die out if there were a Playoff. What's wrong with it: It's speculation, and it's speculation that I do not personally agree with. Why would bowls die out? I mean, I realize that the playoff would get the most attention, but is the PapaJohns.com Bowl really making that big of a splash? I like the smaller bowls, I think the majority of fans like them, and I think the fans of a team would go to see their team play in a bowl game no matter what. The BCS formulas change year to year, mutate like a virus, leaving the previous BCS champions irrelevant; would they be champions if the BCS looks like it does now? No. It needs to set a standard. It needs to be durable, steadfast, perennial. Basketball has a play-off system. Soccer, lacrosse, pro football, division 2-A football ALL have play-offs. But 1-A doesn't?! Why NOT? However, if I act on the hypothetical idea that it WOULD happen, then I can perfectly blame the BCS. The BCS is a system in place to make sure that the NCAA and Colleges (Who already make an obscene amount of money) can make more money. The BCS is a weapon used by these people so that they can stuff their wallets. The BCS is not a system that respects and cares about the game of football at all. The BCS is a cancer, and the only people who like it are those profiting from it. Do I blame the BCS: Yes, its existence as a money machine is what's blocking a playoff, but you definitely could have a bowl system in place alongside the BCS. Reason #1: "University Presidents" Basic Rundown: University Presidents, who supposedly control the true decision making, do not want a playoff. What's wrong with it: Capitalism. When the presidents were proposed by Swiss company with a 3 Billion dollar playoff plan, the presidents of the big schools blocked it. Why? Because it would spread all that 3 Billion dollars around to every member of the FBS, instead of lining the pockets of the bigger schools. I am American, I believe the freedom and greatness that Capitalism brings, but this is Capitalism at it's very, very worse. This is absolute and nontransparent greed. These are not people who are working to achieve a dream, these are people who sit around while college kids, who they do not pay a red cent to, earn them their money and then don't give all those college kids a fair chance at what they are all playing for: A Championship. The presidents of the universities claim that they don't want to make college football a two-semester sport. I've got a couple solutions, and some reasons as to why it doesn't have to be that way: Most colleges schools don't start until late January anyway, and students play REGULAR SEASON football during exams as well. The schools could make it work, the conferences could make it work, the fans could make it work. The presidents of the schools just don't WANT to make it work. But they should, because the alumni will come after them eventually. The BCS jews at least one team over every year, and right now the 7 teams sitting atop the standings at this point are all undefeated. It wouldn't be so bad if the presidents would just come out and say the real reason they don't want a play-off system, which is obviously money. They aren't fooling anyone. But to lie about it is bullshit. We all know that. They could even make more money with a play-off system than they are right now with a bowl system, as as I previously stated, the two CAN co-exist. Do I blame the BCS: Yes, for the same reason as #2. //___

[04 Nov 2009|01:21pm] I'm a straight 25-year-old native Virginian. I still live in Virginia, one of the most ruthlessly extreme right-wing states in the country and I will never understand why anyone would wittingly deny equal rights under the constitution. If any homophobe can give me a straight answer for once, please, I'd love to hear it. Maine would have been the sixth state in the country to allow gay and lesbian couples to marry, but instead becomes the 31st state to oppose the unions in a popular vote. I think that it may be fair to say that America doesn’t oppose gay rights, writ large, or gay rights as a notion, but at the same time I think it’s hard to argue against these results making clear the electorate’s opposition to equal rights. And I think that it is exactly is about letting gays marry, and that ‘banning’ gay marriage does affect straight people—straight people who have no interest in losing status as privileged citizens. Excuse me, but straight people are NOT privileged citizens, nor should they be. This issue is all too clearly one of inequality under the law, and that's so obviously unconstitutional. First California, now Maine...I thought these states were liberal! Hell, fucking IOWA passed gay marriage into legality via popular vote. That's a moot point considering this is neither a government nor religious affair. The government and the church have no place within the other and neither has a place in who people love and want to marry. People have no more choice in who they love than what race they are or what color their hair is. Love requires no definition nor standard. It just IS. Love should be a beautiful thing, something you just feel, and know. And it was until Christians and the United States government came and bastardized it, regulated it, gutted it. It almost seems as if the government and Christian church are in league at this point. The Constitution does not explicitly recognize any separation between church and state, but now more than ever, we need it. Because if they are working together, this country is doomed. We're headed for the likes of Saudi Arabia and other extremist governments. America is becoming a Christian nation. Anyone who isn't a Christian or who doesn't practice Christian ideals will be persecuted to the full extent of the law, the law which is now decided by right-wing conservative Christian voters. But any sinful behavior described in the Bible that applies to THEM is simply ignored and discredited. When will people stop being such hypocrites? Let's make EVERY sin illegal, since America is becoming such religious zealots. How about divorce? No, I don't think that would go over too well. Hypocrites!!! A majority vote cannot be constitutional if it denies the very basic, inalienable rights to some, but extends them to others. That is the very definition of unconstitutional. And yet, no one can ever give a straight answer as to why they think this behavior is RIGHT. //___

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