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:D :D :D [19 Jan 2004|05:53pm]
[ mood | happy ]
[ music | Coheed and Cambria - Hearshot Kid Disaster ]

Well well, the way things work out..


It really couldn't get any better right now. Everything is awesome! lol. I guess that's why I haven't been so bored to update everyday. But I still haven't forgotten!

Let me start w/ the highlight of things. Ty. Well ya, I called him the day after the show.. and we talked for a long while. And we've talked everyday. And we even got to hang out this weekend. :D He's so awesome. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse and I'd never feel anything for anybody, he came along..

Of course we've only known each other like a week. But wow, you have no idea how much can happen in a week.. it's incredible. I like him a LOT, and he likes me too. And I'm comfortable w/ him.. and I trust him, and I really hope everything goes so well. I just don't want to be hurt again. And he knows that, and neither does he.. we both have had shitty past relationships.

But I have such a good feeling about this one. He's freakin sexy for one, sweet as can be, makes me laugh constantly.. and likes me for who I am. I couldn't ask for more, and I wouldn't settle for less. Pray for me here.. haha. He knows how I feel about everything, just like I know how he feels. And we're not gonna rush it. :)

Ok, there's more to life than guys and stuff, so I'll move on. lol. Haven't had any drama for a few days, that's pretty good. Things goin great w/ all my friends. Goin to From Autumn To Ashes/Silverstein/Armor For Sleep w/ Ashley and Kylene on the 7th. Then of course at the end of this month is Pennywise w/ Ty. :D

Haven't heard from him for a week, ever since I met Ty. And believe it or not it's been a good thing. But we're supposed to be good friends, so I guess I see where I stand now. I guess ever since he saw me and Ty hangin all over each other he decided he was gonna avoid me. Fuck that, I don't need to deal w/ another asshole anyway. And look how sneaky I am, changing the subject right back to guys.. haha. OoPs!

Well, honestly there's nothing else to talk about. Or maybe I'm too lazy?? lol. But ya, comment me and I'll comment you back, soon as I check up on this thing again. And I'll be back soon hopefully! Later kiDs..

<333

Sarah
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Again, I know.. [14 Jan 2004|04:31pm]
[ mood | thankful ]
[ music | FATA - Cherry Kiss ]

I've come to the conclusion I suck at updating!


So ya, here I am again. After 5 whole days. Or something like that. Whether you can believe it or not, I've been too busy to update! For once in my life..

Things have been going fantabulous. :D I mean everything.. it's just great.

I'll do the thing like I did in the last entry, just give you the highlights. OK??!! READY??!!:

Saturday was Lou's party. It sucked, but afterwards was fun!

Sunday I got to hang out w/ my danny boy for some while, AFTER babysitting.
(Like I CONSTANTLY do.. and HAVEN'T been getting paid for! >:[)

Monday I think I heard from Ryan again. Or it coulda been Sunday, dunno.
Still gotta call him though cuz I feel bad!

Yesterday I walked home w/ Lou and Jackster, hung out w/ Jon n Jesse.
..AND it was the No Talent Show, Letter Kills, and SOTY show. :D :D :D
Had great fun getting the shit beat out of me and met this HOTT guy named Ty!
(who I'm calling tonight! :D D D)

Today's been sorta lame so far. But I'm sure once I make some calls..
things'll be lookin up. :)

I'm so over both of those male obstacles. (ya know, C -n- C) HehEhAw! :)

Single and honestly loving it this time!!!

Oh.. and I'm going to both Pennywise the 28th AND FATA/Silverstein the 7th! :D D D


And let me tell ya, I am one happy camper right about now. Can't think of a reasonable complaint! :D This unusual good mood streak has lasted for quite a while now.. I've learned to be optimistic about everything, just finding the best out of every situation and dealing w/ it. (think Vikki said it best in one of her comments. :D)

But ya, I'll write more later and let you know how things are progressing.. haha. Later kids!

<333

Sarah
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OoPsiE..! [09 Jan 2004|11:38pm]
[ mood | anxious ]
[ music | Silverstein - Smashed Into Pieces ]

It's been a while, I know.


Everytime I'd go to update recently, either this thing was messin up or I just forgot. And I've been sorta busy, so ya.. sorry about that! lol.

UmM, let's see. I could type out everything that's happened since Sunday night, but I don't think I'll go there. Don't want every entry to be like 2 pages long ya know. So ya, I'll try to summarize this shit.. haha.


School's been great in all honesty. Suprisingly.

I'm finally happy w/ myself, being single and all. :)

Him and I decided just to be GOOD friends.
(although I still do like him!)

I talked to Ryan today for the first time in MONTHS. :\

Going to SOTY Tues. w/ Jackie, for sure. :)

SILVERSTEIN is comin Feb. 7!!! :D

It snowed today!!!

I actually got plans this weekend! hahaha..


And I think that pretty much sums things up. Things are goin well. I really hope they stay that way too. :) I'll be back soon (hopefully) w/ more to talk about. It's kinda late and I should be headin off to bed here soon! SoO nite, later!

<333

Sarah
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AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! [04 Jan 2004|07:36pm]
[ mood | content ]
[ music | Fall Out Boy - Moving Pictures ]

It's all over!!!


I wouldn't even call these two weeks or so off a break.. it's sucked. I mean, there were a few good things here and there, but basically it was lame.

And it's not only that which makes it all over. All the depression is pretty much gone now. At least for right now. Hopefully, for a very long time. Staying home, having nothing to do but think and reflect over things that have happened.. has really taught me a few lessons. And made me realize a lot.. and has given me time to talk things out and get things straight.

First and foremost, about this guy I'm going crazy over.. I had a long talk w/ him about it. I let him know EVERYTHING I felt, I spilled it all out. At that point I didn't care if he snapped on me, didn't want to talk to me anymore.. I just needed to speak my mind. And I was really relieved when he understood. :)

He said he cares about me.. that he doesn't want to see me upset. And that he wishes I would've told him everything on my mind sooner instead of letting it get to me. He also said that he likes me, but he's not sure it's in a relationship way because he doesn't know me well enough like that. Personally, from all the long nights we've stayed up talking and so forth, I think I know him pretty well. At least more so than my most recent ex..

But ya, new subject. Yesterday was pretty cool. I went over to hang out w/ my cuzn, Josh, and Cam.. and ended up stayin the night since my aunt thought it'd be better not to go out so late. And it was fine w/ me, had nothin else to do. At times it was boring, like when Josh was at work, Cam at his dad's house packing or w/e, and Mike on the comp. So I sat there for a while, going through my phonebook on my cell, looking for people to call.

Of course I talked to Lindsay.. I do everyday. I hadn't talked to Kylene on the phone for a while so I called her. Wrong timing, I'll just say that.. lol. I called Corey but he was off w/ his friends. I called Ashley but she was gone over Mallory's. SoOo I saw this dude Duston's number up there, that I totally forgot about. I met him at the scope when I went to a hockey game w/ Ky. I called just to joke around, and see if he remembered me..

Well ya, he remembered me. He was like 'omg you actually called me after 3 months?!'.. lol. Didn't expect him to actually want to talk to me or anything. But ya, he said he wants to meet up next weekend and possibly hang out at his house. Because 'I'm hot' and he wants to get to know me. Uh ya buddy, I'm not that stupid you know. Well, it was a bad idea to call him w/o at least blocking my #, cuz now he calls my cell like twice every damn hour and BRAGS. About the money he's making, his car and some stupid race, all these girls that want him.. ugh.
So pretty soon I'm getting his # blocked. :)

I stayed up really late last night. Well, this morning. lol. Didn't fall asleep until 6. After Mike went to sleep I talked to Cam and Josh for a lil bit and got on the comp to see if Corey was on. I wanted to call him again but figured it'd be better to just talk to him online. SoOo we had another long conversation, didn't stop talking till like 4:30. Afterwards I watched a lil tv and by the time I was ready to go to sleep the only other person up was Cam. And it felt weird for some reason, I guess cuz we almost went out over the summer.. so I told him night and headed upstairs. Layed down for a while, thinking like usual, and finally went to sleep.

This mornin I woke up at 12 I think. And I am tired. lol. I couldn't have slept any longer or there was no way possible I'd be able to get to sleep at a reasonable time tonight. I still doubt it.. I say around 12 or 1 maybe. But ya, left my cuzn's at about 2.. after they finished packing. We said bye to everyone and as soon as you know it I was home. It's kinda sad cuz I'ma miss em. I only get to see em a few times a year, and Mike is basically my brother. We love and hate each other so much it's rediculous.. lol.

Today I haven't done much. But get everything ready for school I guess. Felt like cleaning my room more so than it already was, so now it's nearly spotless. Only for a cpl days or so though. And I had major laundry to do, so I did that. And I cleaned out my car.. since they're comin to take it some day this week. :(

Now I'm sitting here, bored but not bitchy. It's a happy kinda bored I guess you could say.. I don't feel like doing anything. In all honesty, I know it's a shocker but I'm kinda happy bout school tomorrow. Get to see people I wasn't lucky enough to hang out w/ this whole time.. lol.

And now, I gotta few things left to do.. sOo I'll be back later. :)

<333

Sarah
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AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! [04 Jan 2004|07:36pm]
[ mood | content ]
[ music | Fall Out Boy - Moving Pictures ]

It's all over!!!


I wouldn't even call these two weeks or so off a break.. it's sucked. I mean, there were a few good things here and there, but basically it was lame.

And it's not only that which makes it all over. All the depression is pretty much gone now. At least for right now. Hopefully, for a very long time. Staying home, having nothing to do but think and reflect over things that have happened.. has really taught me a few lessons. And made me realize a lot.. and has given me time to talk things out and get things straight.

First and foremost, about this guy I'm going crazy over.. I had a long talk w/ him about it. I let him know EVERYTHING I felt, I spilled it all out. At that point I didn't care if he snapped on me, didn't want to talk to me anymore.. I just needed to speak my mind. And I was really relieved when he understood. :)

He said he cares about me.. that he doesn't want to see me upset. And that he wishes I would've told him everything on my mind sooner instead of letting it get to me. He also said that he likes me, but he's not sure it's in a relationship way because he doesn't know me well enough like that. Personally, from all the long nights we've stayed up talking and so forth, I think I know him pretty well. At least more so than my most recent ex..

But ya, new subject. Yesterday was pretty cool. I went over to hang out w/ my cuzn, Josh, and Cam.. and ended up stayin the night since my aunt thought it'd be better not to go out so late. And it was fine w/ me, had nothin else to do. At times it was boring, like when Josh was at work, Cam at his dad's house packing or w/e, and Mike on the comp. So I sat there for a while, going through my phonebook on my cell, looking for people to call.

Of course I talked to Lindsay.. I do everyday. I hadn't talked to Kylene on the phone for a while so I called her. Wrong timing, I'll just say that.. lol. I called Corey but he was off w/ his friends. I called Ashley but she was gone over Mallory's. SoOo I saw this dude Duston's number up there, that I totally forgot about. I met him at the scope when I went to a hockey game w/ Ky. I called just to joke around, and see if he remembered me..

Well ya, he remembered me. He was like 'omg you actually called me after 3 months?!'.. lol. Didn't expect him to actually want to talk to me or anything. But ya, he said he wants to meet up next weekend and possibly hang out at his house. Because 'I'm hot' and he wants to get to know me. Uh ya buddy, I'm not that stupid you know. Well, it was a bad idea to call him w/o at least blocking my #, cuz now he calls my cell like twice every damn hour and BRAGS. About the money he's making, his car and some stupid race, all these girls that want him.. ugh.
So pretty soon I'm getting his # blocked. :)

I stayed up really late last night. Well, this morning. lol. Didn't fall asleep until 6. After Mike went to sleep I talked to Cam and Josh for a lil bit and got on the comp to see if Corey was on. I wanted to call him again but figured it'd be better to just talk to him online. SoOo we had another long conversation, didn't stop talking till like 4:30. Afterwards I watched a lil tv and by the time I was ready to go to sleep the only other person up was Cam. And it felt weird for some reason, I guess cuz we almost went out over the summer.. so I told him night and headed upstairs. Layed down for a while, thinking like usual, and finally went to sleep.

This mornin I woke up at 12 I think. And I am tired. lol. I couldn't have slept any longer or there was no way possible I'd be able to get to sleep at a reasonable time tonight. I still doubt it.. I say around 12 or 1 maybe. But ya, left my cuzn's at about 2.. after they finished packing. We said bye to everyone and as soon as you know it I was home. It's kinda sad cuz I'ma miss em. I only get to see em a few times a year, and Mike is basically my brother. We love and hate each other so much it's rediculous.. lol.

Today I haven't done much. But get everything ready for school I guess. Felt like cleaning my room more so than it already was, so now it's nearly spotless. Only for a cpl days or so though. And I had major laundry to do, so I did that. And I cleaned out my car.. since they're comin to take it some day this week. :(

Now I'm sitting here, bored but not bitchy. It's a happy kinda bored I guess you could say.. I don't feel like doing anything. In all honesty, I know it's a shocker but I'm kinda happy bout school tomorrow. Get to see people I wasn't lucky enough to hang out w/ this whole time.. lol.

And now, I gotta few things left to do.. sOo I'll be back later. :)

<333

Sarah
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"I'll reMeMber THIS, and EvErY word you sAiD.." [02 Jan 2004|05:37pm]
[ mood | frustrated ]
[ music | Story Of The Year - Razorblades and Cupcakes ]

What a pretty, shitty afternoon.


Another day of waking up early, babysitting, and now (like usual) sitting on my ass.

I wanna do somethin tonight. Ashley's sposed to call me later, I might make plans w/ her.. but if it's just stayin the night I might pass for now. I NEED SOMETHING ENTERTAINING! lol. I know, begger's can't be choosy.. but c'mon now.

No matter what, this weekend will rock. I'll make sure of it. I wanna go back to school knowing my break was at least decent. Geez..

Last night was so lame. I was already in a bad mood.. the past few day's all I've been doing is worrying and doubting myself. But anyway, I finally got to talk to him.. since I haven't in the past few days. He seemed really sweet, said he missed me, and that he's sorry he couldn't talk for a while cuz he was on restriction. My night seemed to be getting a little better. Until we were jokin around, and ended up bringing the 'hanging out' conversation up again.

He either thinks I don't wanna, or just doesn't care. Sometimes I think he only wants that one thing. I don't want to underestimate him as such an asshole.. but something's gotta give. Why is it important that we hang out alone? And why, whenever we can't (no matter if I have a reasonable excuse or not) he gets upset?

Last night he asked me what I was doing today. I told him babysitting for a while then just hangin out. He said he wanted to come see me.. I told him he couldn't. I thought I explained to him the whole parental situation about me not being able to have guys over the house.. much less when I'm babysitting. He just signed off. No goodbye or anything. Ya, fuck you too.

Seriously though, I'm pretty fuckin sick of it all. Thanks to my last disaster of a relationship, I'm paranoid enough as it is. I feel like a damn welcome mat.. and I'm tired of being taken advantage of. I don't know why I give myself away so easily but it's nothing I can control. And letting him know that has given him the upper hand. Seems like he'll just slap the shit out of me w/ it.. that way I can go through all the hurt and depression again. It's all my fault for being such an idiot.. I just want things to be different.

Maybe I should just be a cold, heartless bitch to every guy that comes along and just give up.
I think there's a better chance of me being happy that way.

Again, sorry for all the complaining. I know nobody wants to hear it, I just gotta do somethin w/ it. Now I'm gonna go again, be back whenever.

<333

Sarah
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..WhOoP-a-DeE DoO dAh! [01 Jan 2004|06:37pm]
[ mood | hopeful ]
[ music | The Early November - <3 - Ever So SwEEt ]

I needed a change. :)


Again. lol. The green was finally pulling the last straw. And I think this is much better. And I finally got a lil 'un-lazier' and made a matching icon. Cuz 'Sunday Drive' is an AWESOME song and TEN is just an AMAZING band. hehehaw. XP

I'm workin on some other stuff though, so I gotta goOo!
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A bRaNd-FrEaKiN-nEw YeAr! [01 Jan 2004|04:47pm]
[ mood | weird ]
[ music | Fall Out Boy - Pretty In Punk ]

Let's hope '04 won't be such a nightmare..


Ok. So maybe last year didn't such THAT bad. But it wasn't all that great. I hope this year is awesome.. it will be if I have any say in it!

Last night was pretty cool. Talked on the phone w/ Melinda for a while, then the cuz stopped by. Didn't get to 'party' till after 3 though. For some reason, didn't take much to knock me out.. I think I stayed up till 6, about two and a half hours, just staring at the wall. haha. To make things rediculous, I had to wake up at 10! Four hours of sleep, a major ass migraine, and I had to babysit. GrR..

Oh well, I'm in better spirit now. And I got my New Year's Resolution for ya..:

NO MORE ASSHOLES! ..or guys in general! XD

Me and Stevi are goin on strike! Instead of pigs, they are now reffered to as BASTARDS.
XBillabongBabe3X: guys dont even qualify as pigs bcuz pigs are cute and sweet and guys just suck!
That's right. BASTARDS! XP

Unfortunately, I'm starting to doubt my ability to actually keep that resolution. lol. I'm gonna try! But you know me.. I always end up falling for someone or another over time. Shit, I've already fallen for someone else.. lol. But I doubt we'll go out, cuz we're friends and things just seem too confusing right now. Sad, but I guess it's for the best..?

But ya, we don't need guys. Hurts being w/ em, hurts being w/o em. Might as well enjoy being single! As much as I may want one of my own again (it's a month today..), I have way too much to worry about these days. And I'm really scared.

Anyway, new subject. Today. I was supposed to chill w/ Lou but I just got done babysitting, and I'm sittin around bein lazy. So when I get really bored and start complaining.. I should remember it's all my fault that I'm here alone w/ nothin to do.. lol. I just still feel like shit and want to relax. This weekend I gotta live it up though before we go back to school!

And maybe, just MAYBE, I can hang out w/ *him*..

Hasn't been such great timing for that.. the whole break. Either my mom was always home, his mom was always home, we couldn't think of anywhere to go, bla bla. And I think he's thinkin I don't wanna chill w/ him any.. just the way he was acting and the things he said the other day. We talked it out, and everything's cool.. I just wish he knew how much I really care about him, if it was up to me I'd spend all the time in the world w/ him.

Gosh darnit, see how I am? I'm hopeless. 'Help me, my heart's on my sleeve!'

And now I'll go reflect on my stupidity. Be back later..

<333

Sarah
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WhAdEvA! [01 Jan 2004|02:26am]
[ mood | excited ]
[ music | Senses Fail - The Ground Folds (Acoustic) ]

HeHeHaW..

[x] Part 1 -- The Basics [x]
What's your name? :::Sarah aka SpanKY!
Birthplace :::..VA
Age :::15
Age you act :::DePeNdS, I'd sayyy.. 6 or 7, maybe 91
Current location :::..VA!
Eye color :::blue/green
Hair color :::now, RED! :D
Right, lefty or ambidextrous? :::AMBI son.. hehehaw
Zodiac sign? :::arrrrries
Height? :::5'4
[x] Part 2 -- Describe... [x]
Your heritage/nationality :::umm.. I'm 1/2 german, all I know!
Your hair :::it's medium length, layered, bright red..
Your fears :::being alllll alone, your momma..
Your perfect room :::I HAVE THE PERFECT ROOM BITCH! >:)
What you practically do in a day :::wake up, sit around, shower, sit around, hang out, sit around, phone, sit around, sleep..
[x] Part 3 -- What is/are... [x]
Words you overuse :::mannn, damnit, yeppp.. MORE!
Phrases you overuse :::oic, sure thing, ya ya, HEHEHAW!
Your first thought when you wake up :::I wonder what the hell I'm gonna do today..?
Your greatest accomplishment :::discovering Spitalfield..? :)
Something you want to do :::hang out w/ *him*!
[x] Part 4 -- This or that [x]
Pepsi or Coke :::um, pepsi..
McDonald's or Burger Kings :::burger king?
Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera :::haaaaa..
Chocolate or vanilla :::'nilla son.
Adidas or Nike :::haaaaa..
Black or white :::RED!
Bills or Coins ((Think $$$)) :::no shit, billllllllllls!
Burgers or hot dogs :::hot dogs.. hehehaw
Egypt or France :::WHAT FAGS!
Rock or rap :::RoOoCKKKKKK.
[x] Part 5 -- Do you...[x]
Smoke :::nopppe..
Cuss :::hell no!
Sing well :::sure thing. :P
Sing in the shower :::all the tiIiIime.
Talk to yourself --a lot-- :::of course!
Believe in yourself :::..of course!
Like taking these longass surveys? :::....of course!
Play an instrument :::the chello, thank you.
Want to go to college? :::I guess..
Want to get married? :::sure.
Want to have children? :::not so sure..
Think you're a health freak? :::oh ya lemme tell ya!
Get along with your parents :::haaaaa..
Get along with your siblings? :::occasionally..
Think you're popular :::"Everybody knows me, my name be Cornbread!"
[x] Part 6 -- In the past month have you..[x]
Gone out of state :::nope..
Drank alchohal :::yuMm..
Smoke :::nope..
Get high :::nope..
Done any drugs :::nope..
Eaten an entire box of oreos :::nope..
Been on stage :::nope..
Gone skinny dipping :::nope..
Been dumped :::tomorrow will be no.
Dyed your hair :::haha, durrr..
Stolen anything :::man ya caught me.
[x] Part 7 -- Your friends! =D [x]
Craziest :::Melinda.
Loudest :::Melinda.
Most shy :::Ashley.
Blondest :::Bri.
Smartest :::Kylene.
Kindest :::Ashley.
Best personality :::thas hard..
Most talented :::MeEeEe.. hehehaw.
Best singer :::Louuu!
Most ghetto :::Melinda.
Drama Queen ((or King XP)) :::..Louuu!
Pain in the ass :::Kylene.. :P
The one you just want to strangle to death ((Homer Simpson style)):::Alex!
Funniest :::thas hard..
Best person for advice :::Kylene.
Dependable :::Ashley.
Trustworthy :::thas hard..
Druggie :::none.
Most likely to end up in jail :::Pj or Vik.. :P
Person you've known the longest :::Melinda.
[x] Part 8 -- The Last... [x]
Last dream :::it was weird, I'll tell ya that much.
Last nightmare :::can't remember!
Car ride :::yessssterday.
Last time you cried :::today.
Last movie seen :::can't member..
Last movie rented :::can't member..
Last book read :::..can't member! haha
Last word said :::good.
Last curse word said :::FUCK!
Last time you laugh :::3 mins ago.. :P
Last phone call :::2 hours ago.
Last CD played :::NFG - Nothing Gold Can Stay
Last song you listened to :::Slick Shoes - For Better, For Worse
Last annoyance :::damn AOL.
Last IM :::Stevi.
Last weird encounter :::my dream.. haha
Last person you hugged :::damn, I think Lou.
Last person you yelled at :::the sibling.
Last time you wore a skirt :::umm, summer!
Last time you've been evil :::muahaha..
Sarcastic? ::::-O NEVER!
Last time you fought with your parents :::how about, Last time I didn't fight w/ my parents?
Last time you wished upon a star :::"but I grew uppp, wishing on a staaaar" :)
Played Truth or Dare :::whoa, long time.
Spent quality time alone :::tonight.
[x] Part 9 -- I swear this is the last one! -- Randomness [x]
Are you talking to someone on AIM :::nope.
Do you feel lonely :::somewhat..
Ever TP'd someone's house :::hehehaw..
How about egging someone's house :::O:-)
Do you not like dislike not like me? :::Do you like not liking to dislike ME?
Ain't Eminem and 50 Cent just fine? :::forizzle my nizzle, forevizzle dawgizzle.
Yo Momma :::ya I know.. haha
Ever been so hungry you felt like you could eat the person next to you? :::YuMmAy.
What do you think of George Bush? :::haaaaa..
Any secret fetishes? :::hehehaw.
Do you like to wear chains? O_o :::pSh..
How many languages do you speak? :::one an'a half..!
Damn.. are your fingers tired? Cause mine sure are! :::nopppe!
Glad this is over? ((Say yes and I'll stalk you XP)) :::awww mannnn! :'(



Now I must go. But don't worry, it's for a good cause. :)

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"I dOn'T wAnT tO sEe YoU fALLiNg.." [31 Dec 2003|08:52pm]
[ mood | mellow ]
[ music | Cooter - Looking Up ]

Happy New Years y'all! haha.. XP


Hope yours is better than mine! lol. As of now looks like I'll be stuck here bored for the night. Oh well.. better luck next year I guess. Besides, as soon as mom goes to bed I'll throw a lil party of my own.. got some pucker and anti-shock I snuck in my room.. yeehaw.

Today pretty much sucked. Got up early this mornin cuz I had to babysit.. ugh. Especially when I had hardly any sleep last night. But ya, after mom came home I took a nap and woke up around 4. Sat around, talked on the phone for a lil while.. dealt w/ some family drama :(, stressed myself out for a bit, took some kinda pill for my headache.. just made it feel worse. Took a shower.. now I'm sittin here talkin to Jess doin nothin.

Ya, I found out they're gonna come take my car here soon. The parental unit has been payin around $200 a month for it, and it's no use.. since I can't drive it yet and all. But anyway, there's some kinda debt or w/e mom didn't know about, and they basically told her she had today to come up w/ $3000 on the spot if she wanted to keep it. Fuck that, stupid bastards. They can have their shitty car, I wanna new one anyway.

On a brighter note I guess, yesterday was really awesome. Got to see my cuzn Mike and my favorite auntie.. they came up here from NC till next Tues. He got a new car, lucky douche. lol. Hung out over there w/ him, Josh, Cam, Brian, and David.. sat around and played video games, laughed at em bein stupid and joking on each other. Man.. I feel a lot more relaxed around a whole buncha guys cuz they plain out don't giva shit. :)

Well, this is day 3 of Dan being mad at me. Told him off after he didn't call me the other day.. I was pissed for other reasons and kinda overreacted. I didn't think he'd get upset over it cuz basically he kisses my ass. lol. But I took advantage of it, and I guess I got what was comin to me. I hope he forgives me though.. cuz even though we won't be 'talkin' now, I still miss my friend. :(

Speaking of friends, Mark gets released Tues. I can't wait, I've missed him so much! And we're all gonna make sure he steers clear of Bri.. cuz he doesn't need that. And him and Linds are sposed to hang out, so that's cool. I know he won't be trying to start a new relationship anytime soon though, and that's good.. he doesn't need to. I couldn't imagine him goin through all that again.

Gotta late xmas present. Check what I've done w/ it here.. lol. Took em this mornin, no face on so sorry for any scares or loss of appetite.

But ya, I'm bored. Guess I'll wait around and see if he gets on.. I didn't get to talk to him yesterday and I'm goin crazy again! XP He's so awesome..

Be back later kids. Have fun! hehehaw. :)

<333

Sarah
2 comments|post comment

..WhOoPs! [29 Dec 2003|08:01pm]
[ mood | exhausted ]
[ music | Story Of The Year - In The Shadows ]

I really AM a slacker!!!


I guess you guys already knew I was lazy.. but ya, sorry for not updating much lately. Ever since Christmas, things have taken a turn for the better and I've been UNBORED! Can you believe it???

UmM.. the day after xmas was really my xmas. lol. Did a lotta shoppin and such, got to hang out w/ my buddy Dan. He wanted to go to the movies but I was like nah.. it's ALWAYS the movies. So we just hung out over his house. PJ stopped by.. gosh that boy is stupid. He's mean too.. always jokin on the guys.. haha.

The next day I went to get my hair cut shorter and dyed it BRIGHT red. I think it's cute. :) Then last night I stayed w/ my Lindsay Lou! And today we went to the mall again. Jackie came up there for a bit so the whole 'tripple trio' was hangin out for once! We got some bouncy balls and walked around bein stupid.. then walked over to walmart so Jackster could get somethin to eat at McDonalds w/ her like 5o quarters.. haha. And made ME order it! (ya, it was just that she didn't like the girl workin at the counter.. :P)

So all the un-boring-ness has kinda made up for allllll the days sittin at home alone. lol. But it better not be like this the whole time left before we go back to school or I'll go insane! A whole week! Psh.. don't think so. Guess it just takes a lot to keep me occupied, I dunno?

I didn't get to talk to him all yesterday or today. Ok, maybe for like 2 minutes last night but that doesn't count! lol. And I miss him, even though it hasn't been that long. We were sposed to hang out the other day but really didn't have a way. Mom was home babysittin, and you know she is about company, so he couldn't come over. And his mom was gonna be home all day.. and we couldn't think of a place to meet up or anything. So it sucked. But oh well, hopefully soon! Gosh.. man I really like this kid.

Well, would blab more.. but there comes a time when enough is enough. And I'm out of things to talk about! lol. But ya.. you know I wouldn't wait that long again before I'm back! Specially now that I'm gonna be bored again prolly for a cpl days! :) Laterrrr kadids.

<333

Sarah
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"baH BaH.." [25 Dec 2003|04:48pm]
[ mood | relaxed ]
[ music | Death Cab For Cutie - The Sound Of Settling ]

WoW, another boring day at home!
Cept it's a national holiday!!!


Blah! Nothing new, "SSDD" like my good friend Justin would say.. lol. It's not bad though, I'm in a good mood and my Christmas could definitely be worse. I hope everyone else is having a good time!

I decided to do a cpl more surveys. Yep, true sign of boredom. Have fun???

1. Your Name: Sarah!
2. If You Could Change It, What Would It Be: Spanky.. haha
3. Where Do You Live: VA - yuk!
4. Siblings: 12 y/o half-sister, Madison
5. Best Guy Friend: Dan
6. Best Chick Friend: Lindsay LoUuU!
7. Girlfriend/Boyfriend: nope..
8. Where Do You Go To School: WwHs
9. Whats Your Favorite Song Right Now: The Early November - Sunday Drive
10. Whats Your Favorite Song Ever: I'd have to say NFG - Eyesore.. not really sure why, but ya
11. Favorite 10 Bands: thas hard, but for right now: Spitalfield, TEN, FoB, Yellowcard, NFG, Senses Fail, SOTY, Hot Rod Circuit, Rufio, Count The Stars
12. Favorite Movie: I dunno..
13. Favorite Actor: Ashton, Daniel Kountz
14. Favorite Actress: UmM..
15. TV Channel: Fuse, GSN.. hehehaw
16. TV Show: I hardly watch TV to have a fav!

DO YOU LIKE:

17. Church: not really
18. MTV: it's ok..
19. Dogs: yeppp
20. Cats: sorta
21. Romance Novels: sure.. lol
22. Rap: gosh no
22. Metal: sometimes
23. Blurty Surveys: sure thing
24. Chick Flicks: not really
25. The 80's: nah
26. The 70's: nahhh

ARE YOU:

27. Bored: very much so
28. Tired: lil bit
29. Gay: nope
30. Hung Over: nahh
31. Stoned: nooooope
32. Song Your Listening To: TEN - Come Back
33. Song You Were Listening To Before You Started This: Silverstein - Bleeds No More
34. Next Song On Playlist: it's on shuffle.. WHO KNOWS! lol
35. Thing In Your Mouth: nothing
36. Taste In Your Mouth: dr pepper
37. Last Person You Kissed: Dan..
38. Last Person You Hugged: my sister
39. Do You Have A Crush On Anyone: yeppp..
40. What Do You Hate More Than Anything: judgmental, self-centered, backstabbing 'friends'
41. Who Do You Hate More Than Anyone: probly Stearns.. haha
42. What Store Do You Love: Pacsun, Hot Topic, Sanrio, FYE
43. Last Shirt You Bought: good question
44. Last CD You Bought: Count The Stars
45. Last Movie You Watched (that you hadnt already seen): gosh.. I dunno

[My name is]: Bob.. hehehaw

[In the morning I]: rub my eyes, bitch, and then finally get up
[All I need is]: friends and family!

[Love is]: amazing?
[Im afraid of]: being alone
[I dream about]: what's bothering me

Have You Ever?

[Pictured your crush naked?]: LOL.. sure thing!
[Actually seen ur crush naked]: nope
[Been in love]: no.
[Cried when someone died]: uh, ya
[Drank alcohol]: yaaa
[Lied]: yep..

Random

[What do you notice first in the opposite sex?]: hair, styyyle
[Last person you slow danced with]: Melinda, haha
[Worst thing to say]: "it doesn't matter anymore" ..

Who

[Makes you laugh the most?]: Melinda
[Makes you smile]: ALLLLL my friends!
[Has a crush on you?]: Dan.. haha
[Easier to talk to: boys or girls?]: honestly, guys.. less drama

Do You/Have You Ever?

[Sit on the internet all day waiting for someone special to IM you?]: sometimes.. not all day though.
[save aim conversations]: every one of em.. lol
[Fallen for your friend]: yess..
[Been rejected]: in a way
[Rejected someone]: ya
[Used someone]: once. sad, but true..
[Been cheated on]: so I'm told
[Done something you regret]: oh gosh..
[Color your hair]: yeppp

Have You/Do You/Are You

[Smoke]: yuk, no..
[Obsessive]: about certain things
[Could you live without the computer?]: ya, but life would be boring-er..
[How many people are on your buddylist?]: 172
[Whats your favorite fruit?]: mango
[Drink alcohol?]: sometimes
[Like watching sunrises or sunset]: sometimes
[What hurts the most? physical pain or emotional pain?]: emotional
[Trust others way too easily?]: sure do..

Final Questions

[I want]: to leave this houssse!
[I love]: friends and family
[I miss]: school! haha
[I hear]: anti-flag
[I wonder]: what people really think
[How do you know its love?] you just know..
[I am]: competitive.. lol

Wasn't that GREAT?! XD I'll update later if I have anything else to say. Later KadIDS!

<333

Sarah
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"BuT I gReW uP, WiShiNg On A sTaRrR.." [25 Dec 2003|01:34am]
[ mood | enthralled ]
[ music | Yellowcard - Star Struck ]

Guessssssss what???


It's Christmassssssss! YAY! haha. It's 1:30 in the AM and I'm still up! And I gotta get up early.. yuk. Oh well, I'm restless! And hyper! AND delusional! (however the holy hell you spell that.)

As you can tell, I'm in St. Patrick's Day spirit now!!! XD I know it's not all that great. I just needed a change.. badly. Didn't know it would turn out THIS green.. I feel like a nut. Oh well.. that black and pink was starting to erk me. SoOo here be. My new, unique, Irish-themed blurty!!! hehehaw.

Now I think I'm going to bed. Something's gotta give sooner or later. Wish me luck, I think I'm going crazy.

XD

<333

Sarah
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MaN.. whata slacker! [24 Dec 2003|04:29pm]
[ mood | excited ]
[ music | The Early November - Sunday Drive <333 ]

IT'S BEEN A WHOLE TWO DAYS! :O


Can you believe it?? lol. Sry for the lack of updating.. I've been sO So sO busy. Not!

In all actuality, I've done pretty much nothing since last time. *SiGh* This break has been so boring so far. Tomorrow should be better I guess, I dunno. This weekend will be though, I'ma do plenty of after-xmas shopping.. and I should be able to hang out w/ some friends finally. So yay for that!

Dan wants to hang out again tonight. I told him I couldn't. Really, I shouldn't anyway. I mean, besides the fact that I'm about to leave for my aunt's house to get some early xmas gifts, I should be spending time w/ the FAM right? lol. He doesn't have to be stuck up my butt everyday.. not like he's my boyfriend or anything..

WeLL.. I got some other stuff to say but I think that's for a friends-only entry! SoO.. bbW/e.

<333

Sarah
2 comments|post comment

..Still goin StRoNg! [22 Dec 2003|12:43am]
[ mood | tired ]
[ music | Strung Out - Too Close To See ]

WoW, I'm still up!


Usually I am OUT about this time.. lol. Specially since I've been bored to pieces the past few days. But oh well. Found this survey so I just had to take it.



Senses Fail vs Finch:
Senses Fail!

The Starting Line vs The Early November:
The Early November

Homegrown vs Fenix Tx:
Fenix TX

MxPx vs Less Than Jake:
Less Than Jake

Rancid vs The Transplants:
Rancid

Plain White T's vs Hidden In Plain View:
HmM..

Hot Cross vs Planes Mistaken For Stars:
HmM..

Spitalfield vs Fall Out Boy:
hard but, Spitalfield!

Saves The Day vs Taking Back Sunday:
TBS

Sunny Day Real Estate vs Jawbreaker:
Sunny Day Real Estate

The Promise Ring vs Jets To Brazil:
The Promise Ring

The Movielife vs Allister:
Allister

The Misfits vs Minor Threat:
Minor Threat!

Crass vs The Germs:
Dunno them..

The Clash vs The Ramones:
Clash

Foo Fighters vs Nirvana:
Nirvana

Lagwagon vs Bad Astronaut:
Lagwagon

Story Of The Year vs Glassjaw:
Story Of The Year!

Matchbook Romance vs Hot Rod Circuit:
Hot Rod Circuit

Yellowcard vs The Starting Line:
Yellowcard

The All American Rejects vs Good Charlotte:
EwW..

Lillix vs Avril Lavigne:
EwW..

Wakefield vs Good Charlotte:
Wakefield!

Sum 41 vs Simple Plan:
EwW!

No Doubt vs Save Ferris:
EwW!

Reel Big Fish vs Less Than Jake:
hard but, Less Than Jake

Thrice vs Thursday:
Thrice

Mustard Plug vs Five Iron Frenzy:
Five Iron Frenzy

The Pietasters vs The Planet Smashers:
Dunno them..

Avenged Sevenfold vs Poison The Well:
HmM..

Vendetta Red vs My Chemical Romance:
My Chemical Romance

Cursive vs Bright Eyes:
Bright Eyes

The Postal Service vs Death Cab For Cutie:
Death Cab For Cutie

Elliot Smith vs Ben Folds:
Dunno them..

Ben Kweller vs Adam Green:
Dunno them..

Maxeen vs Acceptance:
Acceptance

Incubus vs Hoobastank:
Hoobastank

The Ataris vs Sugarcult:
Sugarcult!

The Alkaline Trio vs Reggie and The Full Effect:
Alk3

The Get Up Kids vs The New Amsterdams:
Get Up Kids!

Midtown vs Name Taken:
Midtown

Slick Shoes vs Rufio:
Rufio

The Weakerthans vs Fountains Of Wayne:
Who cares..

The Rolling Stones vs Aerosmith:
Who cares..

Billy Idol vs Billy Squire:
WHO CARES..

Guns N Roses vs Metallica:
Metallica

Gob vs Brand New:
Brand New!

Ben Lee vs Rufus Wainright:
Dunno them..

Dashboard Confessional vs Further Seems Forever:
hard but, Dashboard

Saves The Day vs Coheed and Cambria:
Coheed!

Ok Go vs Hot Hot Heat:
HmM.. Hot Hot Heat

NoFx vs Bad Religon:
HmM.. NoFx

Taking Back Sunday vs Straylight Run:
TBS

Straylight Run vs Something Corporate:
Straylight Run!

Rx Bandits vs Catch-22:
HmM.. Catch 22

Q and Not U vs Bowling For Soup:
Who cares..

Mest vs Good Charlotte:
Mest!

Dropkick Murphys vs Flogging Molly:
HmM.. Dropkick

The Casualities vs Swingin' Utters:
Casualties

The Offspring vs Green Day:
Green Day

Fugazi vs Rites Of Spring:
Fugazi

Count The Stars vs Matchbook Romance:
Count The Stars

h2o vs Lagwagon:
Lagwagon

Jimmies Chicken Shack vs SR-71:
Who cares..

Jimmy Eat World vs Green Day:
Jimmy Eat World!

Mad Caddies vs Unsung Zeros:
Unsung Zeros!

Ozma vs Zwan:
WtF..

No Use For A Name vs Anti-Flag:
Anti-Flag

Against Me! vs Rise Against:
Rise Against!

River City Rebels vs Lost City Angels:
Who cares..

The Lawerence Arms vs Manic Hispanic:
Dunno them..

Avoid One Thing vs Autopilot Off:
Autopilot Off!

The Mighty Mighty Bosstones vs The Supertones:
Who cares..

Trebel Charger vs Gob:
Who cares..

Stroke 9 vs American Hi-Fi:
American Hi-Fi

Rooney vs Phantom Planet:
Phantom Planet!

New Found Glory vs Bowling For Soup:
NFG!

Limbeck vs Sunday Driver:
Who cares..


Now.. I think I might get ready for bed! Finally. I gotta get up early tomm and babysit for a loooong time. *siGh* :( Goodnight.. update tomm prolly!

<333

Sarah
post comment

Ha hA.. [21 Dec 2003|05:54pm]
[ mood | bored ]
[ music | Spitalfield - In The Same Lifetime ]

Just in effort to cheer myself up..



I'm such a goober!
2 comments|post comment

"YoU kNoW iT's NoT sO eAsY wHeN, yOu'Re All aLoNe.." [21 Dec 2003|04:47pm]
[ mood | lonely ]
[ music | The Early November - Sunday Drive ]

I just don't understand.


Where exactly am I going wrong? I guess I just care too much. Everything always ends up screwing me over that way.

For some reason, it's really hard for me to handle everything goin on. I feel betrayed, unworthy, and miserable. I try so hard to cover it up all the time.. if you know me well enough you know it's fake.

This is really me.. an emotional, insecure, weak, worrying mess.

I just wish things could be different.
1 comment|post comment

"WhErE is YoUr BoY tOniGhT?" [20 Dec 2003|06:43pm]
[ mood | drained ]
[ music | Fall Out Boy - Grand Theft Autumn ]

Fall Out Boy is so awesome. :)


Almost as awesome as Spitalfield! Been listenin to em a lot lately.. I pray to god they come to concert around here soon. lol. For now I'll just listen to it on repeat.. and study Patrick and his sexy body.

It's been pretty fun ever since school let out. Doubt it'll stay that way though! Yesterday I went to hang out over Dan's for a lil while. That always rocks. He's so sweet to me.. as much time as we've been spending together lately I wouldn't be suprised if I did end up liking him, and maybe giving him a chance. But that's a big if.

The rest of the night was so lame. I was boor-id to pieces, and mom wouldn't let me stay over Lou's. Figures.. whata bitch. She asked me if I could have one thing for xmas what it'd be, I was like "LET ME HAVE COMPANY AGAIN FOR ONCE!". Man that so pisses me off. I don't understand it. Now maybe she'll at least think about it..?

Today I had to go to my cuzn's birthday party. The 3 y/o one. That I always babysit. That is spoiled as hell and has a fit if everything isn't done exactly the way she wants it to be. Boy was that interesting. I had to have someone go w/ me to keep from goin insane, and since Bri was babysitting Melinda went. I felt sick the whole time and the whole opening presents thing seemed to go on forever. Ughhh.. glad to be home.

I don't know what I'm doing tonight, or if I'm even doing anything in the first place. Like always Dan wants to hang out.. lol. I might, not sure yet. I think I'm getting sick again, I hate it. I don't feel like doing anything but sleep and sit around on my ass.. like I need to.

Tomm Ashley and I are sposed to hang out. We'll probably go to the mall and back to her house to stay over. I love it at her place, feels like home! :) After that I don't know what I'm doing the rest of the week.. guess we'll see as it comes along. I just wanna stay home really.

As for now, I don't feel like doing anything either. That includes typing out this crap hardly anybody reads anyway. SO I'm not doing it any longer! haha.. be back whenever. Later KadIDs.

<333

Sarah
2 comments|post comment

..bEtTeR aGaiN? [18 Dec 2003|06:12pm]
[ mood | apathetic ]
[ music | Fall Out Boy - Moving Pictures ]

Things are ok now, I guess.


The last few days have seemed to go by pretty quickly. Not sure why, but I guess a lot's been happenin and time has just flied.

For the most part, I'm over the whole "boo hoo, I'm lonely" thing. Whatever.. I'd actually rather be alone anyway. Then I have no reason to be paranoid. Maybe I'll grow to like myself more?

The one person I really hadn't given up hope on, kinda changed that. I don't want to be w/ anyone. For a long time.

Umm.. we finally heard from Mark. Well they did. And he tried to kill himself, he's in some clinic.. and all the blame is on me thanks to Alex. Screw him, some friend. I just hope Mark's ok.. I feel so bad. And angry, and guilty at the same time. :(

I got to hang out w/ Dan for a little while after school, he's really helped me feel better. I just wish he didn't like me, things are so much better this way as friends. And I hope he doesn't take all this time we spend together and talking on the phone as something more than it is..

School's sucked, and it's been awkward for reasons I really don't feel like discussing. Gosh I am so glad tomorrow's the last day.. and we get out early, so it shouldn't be too hard to deal with. As hard.

Christmas is soon. Yay for that? I'm just not in the spirit this year, maybe I'll be able to sleep the day away. And don't get me started on shopping, ugh. Haven't started yet, and like every year I'll end up waiting til the last minute. Blahhhhhhhh.

I don't know what I'm gonna be doing this weekend. I might hang out w/ Vikki Fri. night, and Bri wants me to help her pick out something for this new guy Sat. at the mall.. I cringe at the thought. At times I just wanna beat the shit out of her for what she's done. But then again I can't really blame her. It's just changed a lot.

I'm gonna go, don't know what else to talk about. Later.

<333

Sarah
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..GoOoOoOoSh!!! [15 Dec 2003|05:24pm]
[ mood | confused ]

today I woke up missing you..
another day goes by alone


Who am I tryin to fool..?
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