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[29 Jul 2005|09:36am] |
Yes, I very much suck at updating.
Since last time:
I am almost a commerical pilot.
I got a job working the ramp at Manchester Airport.
I dated someone for 2 weeks, who showed me that there is life after asshole guys.
And I'm dating someone now, and things are great.
I'm coming home in about a week, if any of you guys still read this - I cannot wait. I really really really need to go home.
Maybe I'll update again soon.
Adios muchachos
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| My goodness it's been awhile |
[28 Mar 2005|11:06pm] |
And a lot has happened.
I've gotten instrument rated.
I've fallen in love and landed on my face, hard on my face.
I've picked up the pieces and am steadily moving on.
I've started to fly a multi-engine aircraft.
That's pretty much all that's been new.
Instrument rated = The FAA deems me safe enough to fly in the clouds without an instructor. :D
Hrm. sooo....that's all for now. Sorry it's been so long.
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[10 Feb 2005|12:56am] |
So, I haven't updated in a while. But long story short, I've been really jerked around lately by a certain someone. A certain someone who I really felt strongly for. But he's sort of slammed the door shut on his own face.
And you know what? His loss.
He said that in a relationship, its like you are obligated to hang out with that person. which makes no sense what so ever. You should *want* to hang out with that person. ANd he said that was teh difference between when we were official and when we weren't. When we weren't, he wanted to hang out and when we were official, he felt obligated to, even though I didnt do anything differently.
Well if he'd rather have a girlfriend that he has to feel obligated to hang out with instead of one he genuinely wants to hang out with he can have it. But it isn't going to be me. I'd like to say that I hope he finds someone else who can make him laugh hard enough to have to leave the table, or that he can find someone else who kisses him so good he constantly reminds them of how good of a kisser they are, or that he finds someone else who will stop mid make out with him to look at a passing airplane, or that he finds someone else who will take being called a dung beetle as a compliment, or someone else who will sit for hours in the freezing cold watching the sun go down and the moon come up, or someone else who will stand in the freezing cold just to watch airplanes come in, or someone else who can go for six days without seeing him but still be happy for him because he's doing what he loves, or someone else who will put up with him being 20 minutes late almost constantly, or someone else who will be able to give him what we had going.....I'd like to say I hope he finds someone else like that, but right now, I really don't. Right now, I hope he realizes what he's giving up.
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[26 Dec 2004|02:19pm] |
yeah, I don't think any relationship I have in the future is going to be like any that I've had in the past. I mean, with Dave it was really carefree and fun and laid back. And I don't think I'll ever be that carefree again. Maybe it was b/c it was Dave, and it was easy not to worry about anything. Or maybe I've just "grown up" a bit. I don't know.
Right now, there's this guy, Matt. You may have heard of him before. We aren't dating or anything but we both agreed we are headed somewhere. and I really like where we are now, but thinking about having a boyfriend again is sort of daunting.
I am not too too worried though. Things are good. I just think to much.
School is pretty good. I pulled off a 3.8something, bringing my total gpa up to a 3.8. which I don't think is too too bad. :)
I think I'm out for now. Catchya later homies.
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[29 Nov 2004|06:07am] |
I get to fly again! Huzzah! Tomorrow. 10:45 am. Be there. or don't. But I'll be there!
Its going to suck sort of though, because I have class til 10:20. That does not leave the hour that I like to flight plan/preflight. Oh well, we will see how it goes.
Okay time for work, crazies.
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[11 Nov 2004|11:56pm] |
Tomorrow's going to hurt.
Advanced Aircraft Systems Class: 8 am
Flight Dynamics : 9 am
Tests in both. Fun shit. No, really.
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[07 Nov 2004|01:37am] |
Did you ever think about the people you are closest to today and wonder how that happened? How a particular sequence of events took place in such away that you would walk into that person?
I wonder if things happened different if we would still meet the people that mean the most to us. Or if the people we care about most depends on the people we happen to meet; if the friends that I am going to hold on to are the same friends I would hold onto if life didn't unfold the way it has.
And did you ever really think you'd care that much about these people? I don't think we do. It just happens. Think way back, to before you knew these people, before you even knew they existed.
It's really crazy actually. To think that you could not know someone one day, and they the next day you meet them, and then before you know it they are someone you can tell everything too. And it's like there was never a time that you didn't know them.
It's kind of scary too. Because as quickly as you became close, you can grow apart. Maybe even quicker.
It's actually very sad.
A friend of mine who graduated last year came back to campus today, and he hasn't kept in touch at all.
I understand he's been busy, what with a new job and all. but it's not like he can't call every once in a while to say hi. Especially after I've called him and left messages and IMs.
So when he came back tonight and I saw him, at first I was really happy to see him. But then I started to get angry, really really angry. Especially when he acted like nothing was wrong, like I shouldn't have been upset he hasn't called, when he acted like nothing had changed.
Because everything has changed. We used to be really close, he was like an older brother even. He used to hear about *everything* and I'd hear about everything he was doing. Not so anymore. He probably couldnt tell you about any aspect of my life anymore, and I couldn't tell you anything about his.
Which isn't really important. But what is important is that I started to feel like he had forgotten about me, and didn't realize it until today.
And really all I could think was how could he come back like this, and pretend everything was alright? Cause it's not alright. He forgot about me, and I finally started forgetting about him, and now he has to barrel back and I have to pretend like he's still my friend. Well I'm not, and I didn't. When he asked me to go out to dinner with them, I said no. And he said "Is it because you hate us?" And I just nodded my head yes. Because I think tonight I really did. Before, that was his way of getting me to go out with everyone. And even if I didn't go, he just liked to hear me say no, and try to come up with a reason why I couldn't. But not tonight, tonight I agreed with him, and I don't think it was a lie.
I think what hurts the most is that I thought he was someone that would never do that, forget about me. He was the person I'd run to when I had a problem with anything, the guy I looked to who would make it better, or at least make me feel better. I guess he was someone I could run to who I could lean on when the rest of the world was leaning on me, and he sort of just dropped away. And I don't think I trust him enough to lean on him anymore.
It's worse to make someone think they can trust you only to prove them wrong then to never make them think they can trust you to begin with.
Anyway. It really upset me when he came back.
And it upsets me that I think Mike might actually like me. Because I can't date him. It would be too weird with him at the flight center. And I know that if I did date him, it would be too weird for him too, eventually. He's very 'sedate' I supposed. By-the-book maybe?
It's really the first time that I've had to worry about guys liking me. And I don't really know how to react. I always thought if I knew a guy liked me, I'd be happy about it. But I'm not. I'm not angry or upset about it really. The thing is, its the worst feeling in the world to like someone and have them not like you back, and I don't want to put anyone else in that position, but you can't, well shouldn't pretend to like someone any more than you do.
That's life I guess, and that's the way the cookie crumbles. Damn cookies.
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[03 Nov 2004|10:41pm] |
She put him out...like the burning end of a midnight cigarette
She broke his heart, he spent his whole life trying to forget.
We watched him drink his pain away, a little at a time.
But he never could get drunk enough to get her off his mind.
Country music is so emo.
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[28 Oct 2004|07:11pm] |
Weird...
I was walking to the engineering lab, and who should call? Sonja! who was calling me to come to the engineering lab...
And then I was writing about Mike and who should call? Mike!
Then I turned off the music on my computer and turned on the radio and whats on the radio? the same song that was on my computer!
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[25 Oct 2004|11:13pm] |
Not all who wander are lost, yo.
So I hung out with a few people this weekend, and they were upset that we were walking in circles. But they didnt want to just sit somewhere, and they didnt know where they wanted to walk. It was frustrating.
But you know, walking in circles isn't really walking in circles the way they implied it was. They said we were walking the same path over and over again, but really we weren't.
When you think about it, every time we walked that path, it had to be a little bit different. And maybe that's more interesting than walking a bunch of different paths, or going to a particular place. You notice more changes, and little details. You'll appreciate more.
And if you only walk somewhere just to get there, you won't appreciate the trip it took you to get there at all. Maybe every once in a while we need to walk somewhere just to walk somewhere, and not walk somewhere.
So it goes, so it goes, and I'm the only one who knows.
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[23 Oct 2004|03:41pm] |
So here I am.
And there I go!
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[13 Oct 2004|11:19pm] |
I want....someone...
But I'm so happy right now. sometimes.
This school year is nuts. It keeps me busy.
Eh, I don't know!! But I can tell you that Q = delta h for a simple, compressible, quasistatic constant pressure process.
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[25 Sep 2004|11:08pm] |
Still kickin'.
I remember football games and friday afternoons at the mall. Am i going to remember 7:30 am breakfast? I don't know.
Lets go flying.
Um yeah, call me ?
haha out
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[23 Aug 2004|08:46pm] |
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Yup, I'm still alive.
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| Le sigh. |
[08 Aug 2004|10:30pm] |
I had a night flight last night, it was awesome....
I flew south, to Hyannis, which is an airport on the cape. We were originally going to Martha's Vineyard but there were isolated thunderstorms/rain....it was still incredible though.
It was a "solo" flight, but not completely b/c I had a safety pilot with me. Basically, for one hour of the flight I was supposed to be wearing a 'view limiting device' (foggles) so as to create instrument conditions where I would not normally be able to see out the window. However, since I am not instrument rated, it had to be a visual conditions flight. so for an hour, I had the foggles on and the safety pilot watched for traffic.
Anyway....on the way back, we got to fly right over Logan Intl, in the middle of Boston, at 4500 ft...It was great....all the planes were lined up in the gates, and the runway was lit up, and we could see planes flying in below us...
And then to look up and see the Big Dipper right in front of us...it was BEAUTIFUL.
The Big Dipper never looked so big...that is one fucking huge spoon.
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| So here's the run down: |
[05 Aug 2004|10:57pm] |
The single life sorta sucks. But at the same time, I like it cause it's safe.
And I have recently been noticing people's eye colors.
I met someone with really nice blue eyes. And gray eyes. I never saw someone with gray eyes. Hazel eyes are pretty too. And I like brown eyes, but not really dark. I guess light enough brown that you can see the black. My drivers license says I have black eyes, but I think it's wrong. Crap, my drivers license expires at my next birthday.
My, how time flies.
I need someone to tackle, and someone with big comfy shoulders I can throw my arms around and lean on.
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[25 Jul 2004|02:11pm] |
H'okay. So. long time no update, right? Thats okay, I do not think many people read this.
So....Yeah, that guy I liked. I decided it was a bad idea, so I sort of forgot about liking him...I mean, I guess I still like him, but have come to accept the fact it's not going to happen. And as always, it is after that fact that I get to know him, and sort of become friends with him. But thats cool too.
So the other day I was walking back from the flight center and this guy was moving in so I asked if he needed help. I thought I had seen him around, so I assumed he had been a student here last year. Turns out he is going to be a flight instructor next year, and went to school out west, like in Utah. So really, I probably have never seen him before in my life. I guess helping strangers is better than not helping though, right ?
At any rate, we invited him out to dinner last night. Nichole came to visit, and we were hanging out with Marge, who is another flight instructor. So I guess that's good, at least he will know Marge. His name is Mike.
I went on my first solo night flight last night, it was really cool. There were fire works! It wasn't the first time I had seen fireworks from the air, it was the second, but the first time was the previous lesson which was just a dual night flight. They are not nearly as high as they look on the ground.
I have been pretty restless lately. like unable to sleep. It doesn't really feel right here and it doesn't feel like I'd feel right at home either. I think I'm just lonely cause there is no one here anymore. I feel like I just want a place to settle down. That might be why I am looking foward to moving out of the dorms next year. If that happens. Some of us were talking about it. That'd be cool I think.
Alright. Well I guess that's all for now.
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[15 Jul 2004|09:02am] |
wow, I love hearing him laugh. Not in anymore than a plutonic way either. so don't get any ideas.
But yeah, if I can get him to laugh (not that it is that difficult) it'll keep me smiling for a while.
People need to smile more around here.
I am reading a really good book right now, and I need to clean my room.
The A-10 is an awesome plane, as is the DC-3...which happens to be sitting out on the ramp right now.
okay. time to goooo.
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[05 Jul 2004|11:05pm] |
hrm. the rat likes banana chips.
Oh yeah, I got a rat now. hehe. but it doesn't live with the hampster.
Psshh..so I am coming home next weekend. but guess what? i cant get a ride home from the airport. Looks like its going to be a lonely train ride home for P-riti.
Hrm....yeaaah....I dont know what to write about really. I've been at school. taking classes. flying. working. its been a good time.
I went home with a friend this past weekend with a friend who lives in conneticut. It was a good weekend. He has surfer hair. meaning longish and blonde. but he's never surfed in his life. But he looks like he belongs in california.
it's going to be weird going home. I mean, I am looking foward to it, but it's going to be so different. I feel so out of place whenever i go home. It's not the same as it used to be, hanging out with the same people you used to hang out with. Cause life goes on, your life does, and their lives go on too. Except now, they aren't intertwined like they used to be. instead, now your life is intertwined in the same time and place as different people. And even if you are close to the people you used to hang out with, it's still different. There is still a gap there, because you havent been around to see their life go on, and be a part of it.
i'm going back to how i used to be, back before dan. back to not really being affected by much. it's different now though. cause now i can appreciate things, little things. i was close to going back like that after dan, but then there was dave.
being in love does something to people, it makes you blind. which isn't necassarily a bad thing. but it sugar coats everything. I guess it's sort of a good thing unless you let it get out of control and become really blind to everything. And every time i think about going there again, part of me resists it. Because when you are blind to reality, or at least partially blind, it doesnt take much to smack you in the face. I don't want that to happen again. I think next time a relationship comes around it'll be different. but that's how it always works i bet. every one is different because after every relationship you learn something new. i dunno, I am rambling now.
alright time to dream. good night.
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[21 Jun 2004|11:47pm] |
I went to an airshow yesterday, it was hot.
I saw the Thunderbirds....they are as close as anyone can get to perfect. Some said they weren't impressed....i was like WHAT?! They claimed that the blue Angels were better. I was like, 'yeah, okay you go do what the thunderbirds and *then* tell me you weren't impressed'
Talk about taking things for granted....at the level the Thunderbirds fly at, that level of precision, with so much power, in that proximity...one wrong move can take your life, not to mention the life of the other pilots, and possibly anyone watching.
AND
THERE WAS A B2 STEALTH BOMBER FLY BY!!!
that was soooo awesome. That thing is incredibly quiet. quiet like you would not believe. It was *unreal*. and awesome.
so many cool planes.
Aw man. Cute boys that fly airplanes that I see everyday but know I can't get are a bad idea! hehe.
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