Tuesday, February 4th, 2003

Time: 9:13 pm.

this is sooo true... cuddle and a kiss on the forehead - you like to be close to your special someone and feel warm, comfortable, and needed What Sign of Affection Are You? brought to you by Quizilla *grin* Innocent What's your sexual appeal? brought to you by Quizilla You are an IDEALISTIC VIRGIN. What Kind of Virgin Are You? brought to you by Quizilla aw, damn it. a girl can dream, can't she? You are a dark writer. A fierce and loyal follower of Poe and the other gothic authors, you LOVE to instill a sense of revulsion and somewhat fear in your readers. You love to poke their brains with logic dealing with the darker side of the human mind and character. Truly surprising and a true individual, you'll do ANYTHING to create a scene. :) What's YOUR Writing Style? brought to you by Quizilla Damsels are hard to find in a modern world with screwy ideals! You're probably a romantic and you might even have a broken heart because, SURPRISE! The world isn't a fairy tale. I'm not saying you should change because that would be awful. Stick to your guns, be patient, and wait for that godamned prince-metaphor to come because, damnit, you deserve royalty and not some second-rate wannabe. What's Your Bedroom Personality? (For Her) brought to you by Quizilla You come from the Ocean. You've always been drawn to the sea, the sound of the waves, the crystal blue water, near the sea is where you belong. Where Did Your Soul Originate? brought to you by Quizilla

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Subject: my hands feel empty, no one to hold Time: 4:33 pm. Mood: distressed. Music: dido - all you want.

blah. today definitely wasn't one of my greatest. here we go: gym - volleyball skills. my group, of course, consisted of none other but andy and erin. first period is just too damn early to be doing shit like that. bio - took notes. i didn't really listen to what ms. ferri was talking about and i definitely didn't do good on our pop quiz today. creative writing - mike tried to sit next to me, but it didn't work. damn it. now there's this girl sitting next to me who is not only incredibly strange, but smells so friggen bad that i wanna barf. mel told me that she's had more than one abortion and plenty of stds. she said she talks about it openly and she wouldn't mind if i asked her. well, i didn't wanna know. she did tell us that she's getting married on feb. 18th though. then she showed us a picture of her monkey-looking "fiance." then she showed us a letter from her little sister, who basically begged her to move back home. it was pretty sad, yet the whole time i was sitting there wondering "why is this girl talking to us?" anyway, it's hard leaving that class. i wish i could be with mike all day. ;) geometry - notes. work. lunch - as normal, ate and talked to megan about various things, and of course one of the most important being the prom. i dunno what's going on with that for sure. gotta talk to mike about it, and soon. english - decided that i was too tired to do any research work and opted to go behind some bookshelves and take a quick snooze. it was fun. i saw dom in there again and asked him to go to the prom with kristen because she wanted me to ask him for her. he said he didn't know. oh well. history - told mr. callaway i didn't have my project. he looked disappointed. he told me that i was failing going into this project so "imagine what this will do to your grade." guess what? it's still not done. i suppose if i really wanted to i could've stayed after and did it, but i chose not to. it was for the 2nd marking period and i doubt it would bring my grade up at all. dance - didn't get dressed because of the pain in my spine. talked to sam a little. mike took me home again. we basically just talked about how much money he wastes on useless things on his car, and how i don't know what any of it is. haha. ;D hmmm. after school i met my brother's "friend." interesting, to say the least. i told my mom about the pain in my spine but she and my aunt think that it's caused by my brother's computer chair, which doesn't bother him at all. this isn't a normal backache, it's burning pain. ugh. whatever. i guess we'll see if it goes away by tomorrow, or i might end up in the hospital. ha. i seriously was almost in tears not too long ago. it really sucks. for some reason i started to talk to my mom about my history grade. wow. i wasn't planning on it. now she knows exactly what to expect when we get report cards. we fought for a loooong time. she kept talking about putting restrictions on the computer and stuff but i don't think it's gonna happen because we pretty much talked it out and i made her realize that stopping me from being on the computer will not improve my grades. i have to stop being lazy and do what i have to do. it's not that i'm stupid, i just haven't had much motivation recently. it's gotta change though. this year is so important, and i need to get into college. anyway, i had horrible pms last night. i mean, the kind where i say completely retarded things that i don't mean. ah. oh well. boys need to understand that these things happen. it's really not fair though. i mean, who decided that a girl gets to suffer for almost a week every single month but not guys? rawr. i wish boys got the cramps i get every month for just one day. they wouldn't be able to deal with it. hahah. enough about that. this is way too long. later hottstuff. ;)

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Subject: i'm here to remind you of the mess you left when you went away Time: 9:43 pm. Mood: anxious. Music: alanis morissette - you oughta know.

i'm slowly (but surely) becoming hopeless. i'm so impatient in situations like this. i just want something to happen, and soon, before i let go and lose it all. keep me here. give me something to hold on to.

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Subject: she's all alone Time: 2:59 pm. Mood: okay. Music: none.

lalala. today was okay. last night me and dave got in yet another fight, this time because i told him about the senior prom. oh well. my friend told me that he was talking shit on me all period in geometry, too, because they had a sub but guess what? i don't care. people can think whatever they want. moving on... gym - did nothing. bio - same as always, boring. talked to andy and erin. couldn't wait for creative writing. creative writing - tried my best to keep my seat next to mike, but it just didn't work. e hates me, i know it. oh well. it won't last. geometry - the fat bitch kinda does get on my nerves but she's a hell of a lot better at teaching than cav was. i think i might do well because her voice isn't monotone and she keeps my attention. lunch - courtney's gone. basically i just talked to megan. english - did some work for my research paper, turned in my thesis, talked to brandon. history - picked my the stocks i wanna follow. i couldn't find anything that i actually wanted so i wound up taking bed bath and beyond, yahoo, and quicksilver. we'll see how that goes. tomorrow is the last day our projects can be turned and unfortunately i'm not done mine. just fucking great. i would be done if i had a partner and i didn't lose my disk. i dunno what i'm gonna do. i doubt my report card's gonna be good because of this, and journalism, therefore i'll most likely get punished. (ha.) dance - got an 80% on the combination test that linz and sam messed me up on. not bad for stopping right in the middle. mrs. romann knows how good i am though. ;) mike took me home today. i was shocked because he actually offered to take me, without me saying anything at all. amazing, isn't it? hehe. i seriously have not stopped thinking about him for even a second in the past couple days. it's crazy. i wonder where this is heading, if it is heading anywhere... ?

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Subject: you'll be on my mind forever Time: 10:29 pm.

okay, third post in one day, shut up. i was bored. you know you love these quizzes, too. mmhhmm, yup, you do. I took the fruity fruit quiz made by rav-chan Check out which fruit you are What Spooky Being are You?

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Subject: don't worry, be happy ;D Time: 9:13 pm. Mood: contemplative. Music: none.

hmmm. well, doy picked me up and we went to the olive garden in deptford. they have good salad, and lasanga, too. afterwards, we went to ulta because i had to take back perfume that my mom got me for christmas that i already have. it was $42 and i accidently spent $25 extra. oops. it felt like we were in there for a day and a half. probably over an hour though. after that, we went to barnes and noble because doy wanted coffee and i have no good books to read. *tear* it's heartbreaking, i know. i got 3 books, although i could've bought about 9 because... well, yeah. enough about that. came back to doy's to see my sadie baby. since then, i've been online, talking to mikey of course. i fought with dave, too, and told him that i can't go out with him anymore. blah. i gotta go home soon because doy's gonna watch kingpin, and that comes on at 10:00 and i wanna go home before then. tomorrow starts the 3rd marking period. yay? i have to take gym. well, i don't really have to because i could probably get a note from my surgeon to get out of it, but oh well. it could be fun. that is, watching me run from the ball and miss every swing in softball. ha. sports = no. journalism will finally be over and we're starting creative writing. hopefully i'll get some work done in class, but it's hard with sexy mikeypooh (yes, that's right, mikeypooh) being there. ;D teheh. mr. cav's last day was on friday, which means i'm getting a new geometry teacher. i've never talked to her but i've seen her and so far this is what i think: fat bitch. she looks mean. i'm gonna do horrible, i know it. at least mr. cav didn't like to see anyone with a bad grade so he would always push it up like 20 points. that was awesomeness. all teachers should do that. right now in his class (without him pushing up my grade) i probably have about a 4%. i'm not even kidding. i'm so math retarded, it's not even funny. okay, it is. but ya know. i'm out. lata. ;) *lislis*

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Subject: melt your cold, cold heart Time: 11:52 am. Mood: satisfied. Music: norah jones - cold, cold heart.

hey. i don't have much time to update but oh well. i woke up around 10:00 this morning, which is incredibly strange, but i guess it's because i went to sleep at 12:00 last night since mikey had work this morning and couldn't stay on past then. i got kicked off aol about 10 times last night and it was driving me insane. aol should die a slow, lingering death. anyway, it pisses me off how both of my parental units totally disregard what happened with the columbia shuttle yesterday. it's like, it didn't effect them or their family, so why should they care? but hello, these people had their own families and what happened to them is so tragic. it seems like they just don't care at all. ah, what are ya gonna do? today is most likely going to be a boring day. sundays are depressing. i'm going to lunch with doy when she gets back from church and then we'll probably do some other shit. who knows. dave left two voicemails last night. i didn't call him back. nicky said he saw him at the library and was teasing him, and the first thing out of his mouth was that i went to a party on friday night. right. whatever. he knows why. he even imed ashley and asked her why i'm mad at him, as if, 1) he doesn't know why, and 2) ashley would tell him. ha. boys. can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em.

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Subject: you deal with things that you don't have to Time: 8:49 pm. Mood: gloomy. Music: justin timberlake - senorita.

hey. i thought this looked like fun so i switched from diaryland. not much to say. today was and is still boring. i woke up around 12:00, came home and cleaned my room so my mom wouldn't chop me up in little pieces and feed me to the garbage disposal, and that's all i can remember. for the second day in a row i tried to talk to dave about something important, but he was busy again with stupid bullshit. yeah, so fuck that. maybe he'll get the hint. anyway, i was supposed to chill with ashley tonight. i feel bad but i honestly wasn't in the mood to do anything. the weather effects me in a strange way. at the moment, i'm still in my pajama's. ah well. i hope she's not mad though. i'm really gonna miss her in school. welp, i think i'm gonna go take a shower soon and then mikey should be back from work by the time i'm done so woot. later. <3, alyssa

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