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23rd March 2004

7:52pm: It's been awhile...
Dear you,

Thank you for taking the time to read this update on my life. Here is what is new with me...My full-time job is getting closer to beginning (April 1st, 2004). I am totally excited about that, however here is some interesting and fun news. I am falling for a long-time friend. Let's call him Wayne. So, Wayne and I have been friends since I was about 6. Our dad's are good friends, therefore causing our families to spend time together sometimes. About 2 years ago, Wayne's family moved away (his father got a job in another city about 1 hour and 45 minute drive from here). Wayne stayed here in our city, then later moved back with his parents due to financial reasons. Resently Wayne and I hung out with another friend (Wayne was in town visiting) and I had an amazing time. We watched movies, ate pizza, played games, sat and talked, then went to the grocery store to get some food, made supper and had a great time. It was getting late and Wayne said he could give me a ride home. We ended up driving around and talking for hours. We shared secrets (as we have done before) and talked about what we both want in our future. There was flirting the whole night. I can't explain how happy I am.
Wayne and I have talked a lot on the phone recently. I am dreding getting my phone bill. It looks like I might need to get some sort of long distance plan if ths continues. In fact I am going to look into that tonight...
Wayne invited me to go to a wedding with him next weekend and he might be coming here this weekend to visit as well. I am super exctied...
I will keep updating you on this...

10th March 2004

5:58pm: Just a day, just an ordinary day
To the world,

Let it be known that I officical have been offered my first full time job. As of April 1st (and it will not be an April Fools joke) I will be employed full time at a great job where I am appreciated and loved. This is a huge step in my life. It makes my bigger step to saving for a house (which I have budget to buy this year) much closer than I thought possible. First the job, then the house, then the guy?! Who knows what will happen over the next while. I try to remain optimistic when it comes to things like this, things like my future. I am 20 years old (I'll be 21 in June) and already I see that I am heading towards the large goals that I have in my life. I feel great.

My advice to you: Remain optimistic, and work hard at what you love.

5th December 2003

9:56pm: Interesting evening
Well tonight was a new experience for me. My ex-boyfriend's/best friend's ex-girlfriend (he dated her for sometime before he dated me) asked me a few days ago if we could get together and chat. This girl and I don't really have a great relationship (we see each other often yet avoid each other out of fear and hurt), so I knew that she wanted to talk about us.

The night was alright. I let her do most ofl the talking because I feel fine about things. See, for me I know that all I need is time and for her to let go of the past(as I feel I have let go already). She told me alot that I already knew and told me alot that I already assumed. What really shocked me thought was the fact that she said that my best friend (my ex) and she have an unofficial relationship. I told her that this was never the impression that I got from my best friend and this was all new news to me. To be honest, I think that she is a little dissalusioned. See, I don't think that she realized how he really sees her. I think (and I might be totally wrong) that she is so gaa-gaa over this guy, and so determined that they will be together forever that she thinks that he really has major feelings for her. Now, I am sure that he still has some feelings for her, they dated for a long time off and on, but not the amount of feelings that she seems to think he has. I guess that it just bothers me that I know she doesn't know anything that goes on between my friend and I, or at leaste very little. Every so often we do kiss, and we do cuddle alot and there is always physical touching (I sit on his lap, we hold hands, etc.) between us. From what I gather this kind of stuff happens between them, but not as often. She seems to think that this means that he is interested in her. Look, some people need to realize that some guys (and even some girls) are affectionate, but that does not mean that they are interested in you. I told this girl that she should talk to the guy if this is how she feels and she should find out how he really sees things. She needs to know to truth, and if the truth is that he is interested in her, then he needs to get the guts to tell me about it. I am his best friend, I am not going to be mad, just a little hurt that he didn't tell me before. See, I know that this guy is physical, and I am as well. I also know that just because we are physical, that does not mean that we will have a realtionship in the future. Don't get me wrong, I am not a slut. I have known this guy since we were in junior high and he has had a crush on me (up until recently it seems) all these years. I am not physical with most people, but it is how we show affection to each other. It is part of our personalities.

You may think that I am crazy, but I am not going to talk to my best friend about it. This was a request of the girl and I believe in honoring my word. I am going to let him tell me when he is ready, or when I see it become obvious that something is going on between them (if that even happens). I know that sounds somewhat follish and may perhaps make it sound like this girl is lying and doesn't want the lie to be found out, but believe me. This is the smart thing to do in the situation. I know that my best friend has a big mouth, and he would talk to the girl about it. I then know that she would dislike me even more. I am not up for that. This is the morally right thing to do. I am smart and I know my limits, emotionally and mentally. I am making a very logical decision here.

I guess, that is about all that I have to say about the situation for now. I will update as more information becomes available
Current Mood: calm

21st November 2003

2:09pm: Introduction
To Whom It May Concern,

This is my first post ever. I suppose a good start would be to explain why I have chosen to write a web diary. Here it goes.

I work as an Administrative Assistant and friday is my regular day off. So I got up this morning and didn't do anything exciting. As I live in Canada and it is oh so very cold
outside today, I decided that today I would spend most of my time indoors working on whatever projects I felt like. I decided that today would be a day of enjoyment. Needless to say, the excitment wore off quickly. So, there I was surfing the internet on a quiet day alone. I decided to write, which is a typical thing of rme to do when I am alone. However, today I wanted something different. I didn't just want to write for me. No. I wanted to write to entertain me, but I also wanted to write to entertain other people. So, maybe you have found this site and you were bored. Maybe for a brief moment I helped you and took some boredom out of your life. That is going to continue to be the purpose of this site. To bring back entertainment to the masses.

Until I write or you read again,
Fox
Current Mood: okay
Current Music: Sarah McLachlan - Afterglow
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