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[09 Apr 2003|05:11pm] |
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mood |
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 surprised |
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music |
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AFI - Whatever I Do |
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what is the truth? is what i am speaking the truth? i see the world crumbling into a fake fast of endlessness. The world is filled of selfish pride, and for this all we do is want more and more. The wanting could led to even simple things you would never catch... i want to be different, it is just the same as i want to fit in. In your mind, you think you are rebeling, and being something everyone else is not. The truth is, logically... you are the same as everyone. And for this, none of us will ever be our on self, intil we speak out for ourselves. and just do... instead of thinking about doing it. its time, for us to seperate into our own self. I know myself, i try to be different. but i realized from watching slc punk.. i wasn't any different, even just buy getting a mohawk, or wearing a turtle neck... wouldn't make me different. i would just have to wear what i like without thinking bout it, i would do my makeup witthout thinking what people woud think. it will be massively hard to be myself, i am so use to how the world persives different. but maybe my difference will awaking these boring land of ... plain.
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[23 Mar 2003|07:02pm] |
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mood |
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 guilty |
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music |
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the queen of the damned soundtrack - Not Meant For Me |
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so i guess this is how it goes. my apology to my friends. i know i'm not the best one, i guess im just to open minded. i expect my emotions to heal me, but in the long run.. they end up hurting others. i see that what i said about lindsey, and kristie... hurt them. as i see it, i would be a little beyond upset with someone who wrote those things. i'm really thick headed when it comes to trying to see through someone else's eyes. all i can say is this.. i can't take back what i said. you know that. i can't undo the did. you know that as well. what i can do, is share my present emotions towards those of the past, and try as hard as it may be to become friends with you once more. thats if you want to. i wouldn't be suprised if you wouldn't want to be my friend.. something even tells me some of you wouldn't care what im saying right now, cause of course no one cares what i write....::pauses:: right? i am only 14...a girl in a family of 2 brothers with a mom and dad, and i live in the suburbs in new jersey. who ever would care what she would have to say. i'm not a perfecinal writer, thats for a fact. i'm not even the most popular, or most important person in school... you still don't care. i'm sure right about now i could really use a time machine to go back into time, start over with a clean sheet. then maybe people would care, and i would know not to express how i feel. you know, just hold it all locked inside. maybe then, i wouldn't be a "bitch". maybe then, i wouldn't be "weird". hey maybe, i can just be fake like everyone else... and pretend not to care. would you rather me to be an emotionaless figure who holds a fake white smile infront of a soul full of tears or would you rather be how i am, expressing my self with tears and happiness, and even anger... to show i am a human after all?
::sigh:: i am sorry.
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| friends only |
[06 Mar 2003|08:12pm] |
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 FRIENDS ONLY
comment to be added,
this way you can read all
my journal... hmm who'd a thought?
source of picture http://www.shawnsclipart.com/pig.gif
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