: busy busy busy
So....yea...i dont really know what to say about the way i've been feeling lastely except that it sucks. I think that im doing better now. I dunno. Last night, i talked to Victor, and of course, i started thinking baout it and everything...and yea. I actually thought that i was doing ok with it and accepting it, but now...im not so sure. I guess it's just the thought that there was a chance there...but now it's gone, and it makes me really sad. And i talked to Christy this morning--ilove that girl--and yea...lol! But anyways-i started driver's training, and i dunno, i just wanna sleep in-i have it from 8-10, so that sucks cause i have to get up early...and stupid me doesn't go to bed til really late and just yea. So i dont know about anything. I finally finished my room...and i put lots of pictures up, and its good cause they're all happy pictures, so i look at them and smile. And--good news--i dont feel so much like crap aout myself anymore. I dont know what was wrong with me that night, i guess it's just that i found that stuff out earlier, and then he sent me the picture of kayli an djust yea. But i dont know....its really weird cause like, i never used to wear my hair up, but now, i get out of the shower, let it dry and then put it up, its weird...i dont know why. And that probably sounds really stupid of me...lol...but whatever. And i guess that im really not that ugly looking. I just think of other people...and feel better. But my allergies SUCK!!! Omg-its NOT cool....wonderful year to get allergies, ive never had them before this year. Just what i want, especially since the Relay for Life is tomorrow!!! And then the grad party is Saturday, and you know me-ill be working my butt off to get ready for it. But im really excited about the Relay!!! And of course, it's in Flushing again this year-at Riverview, which means TUCKER!!! So, im gonna go and see if Kyle and Amy are working, and if they are, then im gonna talk to them about swimming this summer and see what they say, cause i really want to. I haven't swam in like....5 days though..im so disappointed in myself, i just felt like such crap. And normally, i'd wanna swim because of that, but i didnt even wanna do that. It was really weird...but wahtever. *I was over it before, but you brought me back to where i began and im starting out again, and odnt it make you run to the end* I love that song!!! Over it-Rufio. Its a damn good song. But anyways...im SoOoOoOo excited cause i get to see Court!!!! I haven't seen her in SO long! Wow...im excited. I love that girl-shes the best. And she was like...so is he gonna come to the party-cause of course ive told her all about him, and she wants to meet him...lol! Gotta love her. Im just excited for the party and to see everyone! But its sad cause Aunt Maria, Uncle Chris, Brianne, Stacia, Kelton, and Kailee are all going on vacation to Florida so they wont be here!!!! :-( that makes me sad-i love all them so much...especially the kids. They're so sweet and cute. But hopefully ill get to talk to Aunt Emily! And omg-i REALLY hope that Suzie comes...cause it's been so logn since ive seen her. And i hpoe she brings Jaydeen! That's my old babysitter and her daughter. And just yea...i hpoe that Aunt Nini comes and brings Josh and Ben and her other 5 kids...lol! I haven't seen them all in SOO long, well her kids. We used to do everything with them, well just Josh and Ben since they're our age, i really wanna see them agian! And i know that Michael and Travis aren't coming...lol...Carlot-haha! So we wont have a repeat of last years party. And i dunno-i guess that i've just tried being poisitve about things, and i've tried not to think of things too much. Today, i just layed in bed mots of the day reading my book cause it's really good and i dont think about anything when i read it...so tahts good. But tomorrow...i get to get up bright and early and go to drivers training and then i come home, and we clean the polebarn and workshop and set up tables and chairs...and do whatever else needs to be done. Then Feffula and me are going to Kohls so i can get a different dress cause hers is just yea...and then we'll probably go to Claires, then we're going to the Relay!!!!:-D And im SOOO excited about that. But then we're coming home around 10:30, sleeping, then getting up bright and early, mowing, tracvaccing, getting the food ready, all that *fun* stuff. Then-PARTY-!!! And Carlots coming...and we're gonna clean up again at like....2 in the morning, or whatever time the party ends. And then yea..it's Fathers Day! And im sure we'll still be cleaning up. So yea...doesn't that sound like fun!?!? Oh yea...well ok, im gonna go and i dunno...maybe read some more.
So....yea...i dont really know what to say about the way i've been feeling lastely except that it sucks. I think that im doing better now. I dunno. Last night, i talked to Victor, and of course, i started thinking baout it and everything...and yea. I actually thought that i was doing ok with it and accepting it, but now...im not so sure. I guess it's just the thought that there was a chance there...but now it's gone, and it makes me really sad. And i talked to Christy this morning--ilove that girl--and yea...lol! But anyways-i started driver's training, and i dunno, i just wanna sleep in-i have it from 8-10, so that sucks cause i have to get up early...and stupid me doesn't go to bed til really late and just yea. So i dont know about anything. I finally finished my room...and i put lots of pictures up, and its good cause they're all happy pictures, so i look at them and smile. And--good news--i dont feel so much like crap aout myself anymore. I dont know what was wrong with me that night, i guess it's just that i found that stuff out earlier, and then he sent me the picture of kayli an djust yea. But i dont know....its really weird cause like, i never used to wear my hair up, but now, i get out of the shower, let it dry and then put it up, its weird...i dont know why. And that probably sounds really stupid of me...lol...but whatever. And i guess that im really not that ugly looking. I just think of other people...and feel better. But my allergies SUCK!!! Omg-its NOT cool....wonderful year to get allergies, ive never had them before this year. Just what i want, especially since the Relay for Life is tomorrow!!! And then the grad party is Saturday, and you know me-ill be working my butt off to get ready for it. But im really excited about the Relay!!! And of course, it's in Flushing again this year-at Riverview, which means TUCKER!!! So, im gonna go and see if Kyle and Amy are working, and if they are, then im gonna talk to them about swimming this summer and see what they say, cause i really want to. I haven't swam in like....5 days though..im so disappointed in myself, i just felt like such crap. And normally, i'd wanna swim because of that, but i didnt even wanna do that. It was really weird...but wahtever. *I was over it before, but you brought me back to where i began and im starting out again, and odnt it make you run to the end* I love that song!!! Over it-Rufio. Its a damn good song. But anyways...im SoOoOoOo excited cause i get to see Court!!!! I haven't seen her in SO long! Wow...im excited. I love that girl-shes the best. And she was like...so is he gonna come to the party-cause of course ive told her all about him, and she wants to meet him...lol! Gotta love her. Im just excited for the party and to see everyone! But its sad cause Aunt Maria, Uncle Chris, Brianne, Stacia, Kelton, and Kailee are all going on vacation to Florida so they wont be here!!!! :-( that makes me sad-i love all them so much...especially the kids. They're so sweet and cute. But hopefully ill get to talk to Aunt Emily! And omg-i REALLY hope that Suzie comes...cause it's been so logn since ive seen her. And i hpoe she brings Jaydeen! That's my old babysitter and her daughter. And just yea...i hpoe that Aunt Nini comes and brings Josh and Ben and her other 5 kids...lol! I haven't seen them all in SOO long, well her kids. We used to do everything with them, well just Josh and Ben since they're our age, i really wanna see them agian! And i know that Michael and Travis aren't coming...lol...Carlot-haha! So we wont have a repeat of last years party. And i dunno-i guess that i've just tried being poisitve about things, and i've tried not to think of things too much. Today, i just layed in bed mots of the day reading my book cause it's really good and i dont think about anything when i read it...so tahts good. But tomorrow...i get to get up bright and early and go to drivers training and then i come home, and we clean the polebarn and workshop and set up tables and chairs...and do whatever else needs to be done. Then Feffula and me are going to Kohls so i can get a different dress cause hers is just yea...and then we'll probably go to Claires, then we're going to the Relay!!!!:-D And im SOOO excited about that. But then we're coming home around 10:30, sleeping, then getting up bright and early, mowing, tracvaccing, getting the food ready, all that *fun* stuff. Then-PARTY-!!! And Carlots coming...and we're gonna clean up again at like....2 in the morning, or whatever time the party ends. And then yea..it's Fathers Day! And im sure we'll still be cleaning up. So yea...doesn't that sound like fun!?!? Oh yea...well ok, im gonna go and i dunno...maybe read some more.
Current Mood: 
content
contentCurrent Music: Over It-Rufio