: ::tears::
So Carlot sent me this poem the other night, and yea, it's just very true about Mom and stuff. I read it and it was kinda just like wow....that's exactly the way it is.
I will be missing you -- you were so full of life, always smiling and carefree, life loved you being a part of it, and I loved you being a part of me. You could make anyone laugh if they were having a bad day. No matter how sad I was, you could take that hurt away. Nothing could ever stop you, or even make you fall. You were ready to take on the world. Ready to fo it all. But God decided he needed you, so from this world you left. But you took a piece of all of us. Our hearts are what your kept. Your seat is not empty, and its hard not to see your face. But please always know this. No one will ever take your place. You left with out warning not even saying a goodbye. And I cant seem to stop, asking the question, why. Nothing will ever be the same. The halls are empty without your laughter. But i know your up in heaven, watching over us and looking after. I didnt see this coming, It hit me by suprise. And when you left this world a small part of us died. Your smile could brighten anyones day, no matter what they were going through. And I know every day for the rest of my life, I will be missing you!!
I don't know, i'm jsut in one of my mom moods right now. Like, i REALLY want her here cause i just need someone to talk to. And not that i don't wanna talk to my friends, its just that i don't know, i just wanna talk to Mom. I just really hope that she's proud of me, and that she knows that i'm singing for her in Venner and everything. She seriously was the best person that i've ever known. She did everything right and she was always there whenever Bonnie or me needed her. And i don't know, i just go back and think about Aunt Emily telling us that we were everything to her and that we were her life and that she loved us more than anything, and it's just like wow..! To think that she's gone now and she's never coming back. And i mean, i know that it's been over 6 years and everything, but still it hurts like hell. And to know that i'll never be able to be like, oh yea, today me and my mom went shopping, or be able to say like, yea, my mom helped me pick out a prom dress, or anything like that. She won't be there to help me plan my wedding, or anything like that. If i have kids, she won't be there...and it's just really sad. I just really hope that i can be like her when i grow up, because in my eyes, she was perfect in every way. And omg-she had the BEST voice in this whole world. But at least, i've got the cd of her singing. And just yea...i dunno, i just really miss her. And i miss how she used to make us cakes for our birthdays, and how she used to make us dinner all the time. And how we acutally got our presents on our birthdays, and how we used to go to the airport and watch the planes leave just for the fun of it. And i remember how she always used to come in and help with the parties at school, and she'd always bring us McDonald's for our birthdays. And jsut yea...i don't know, it's just really sad. I dont' know, i just miss her so much, and i think that right now, i need her cause i have no idea what i'm gonna do about anything, and it's not that i can't talk to my friends or anything, it's just that sometimes you need a mom. But...looks like i don't have that, so yea. It just sucks, and yea...i honestly would not wish that upon ANYONE!!! Not even my worst enemy, because it's just about the worst thing in the world, and anyone's who's lost a parent knows that. Well, i shouldn't say that, cause maybe other people didn't have the kind of relationship with their parent like i had with mine, but still, it really sucks. And i just miss her so much. And someday....no matter what else i do, i'm gonna write and sing a song for her. No matter what, if i don't do anything else with my life, that's hwat i want. Maybe if they have a talent show at the Relay for Life this year, that's when i'll do it. Cause ya know, cancer and yea. Well now that i've got myself all upset, im gonna go.
-steph
So Carlot sent me this poem the other night, and yea, it's just very true about Mom and stuff. I read it and it was kinda just like wow....that's exactly the way it is.
I will be missing you -- you were so full of life, always smiling and carefree, life loved you being a part of it, and I loved you being a part of me. You could make anyone laugh if they were having a bad day. No matter how sad I was, you could take that hurt away. Nothing could ever stop you, or even make you fall. You were ready to take on the world. Ready to fo it all. But God decided he needed you, so from this world you left. But you took a piece of all of us. Our hearts are what your kept. Your seat is not empty, and its hard not to see your face. But please always know this. No one will ever take your place. You left with out warning not even saying a goodbye. And I cant seem to stop, asking the question, why. Nothing will ever be the same. The halls are empty without your laughter. But i know your up in heaven, watching over us and looking after. I didnt see this coming, It hit me by suprise. And when you left this world a small part of us died. Your smile could brighten anyones day, no matter what they were going through. And I know every day for the rest of my life, I will be missing you!!
I don't know, i'm jsut in one of my mom moods right now. Like, i REALLY want her here cause i just need someone to talk to. And not that i don't wanna talk to my friends, its just that i don't know, i just wanna talk to Mom. I just really hope that she's proud of me, and that she knows that i'm singing for her in Venner and everything. She seriously was the best person that i've ever known. She did everything right and she was always there whenever Bonnie or me needed her. And i don't know, i just go back and think about Aunt Emily telling us that we were everything to her and that we were her life and that she loved us more than anything, and it's just like wow..! To think that she's gone now and she's never coming back. And i mean, i know that it's been over 6 years and everything, but still it hurts like hell. And to know that i'll never be able to be like, oh yea, today me and my mom went shopping, or be able to say like, yea, my mom helped me pick out a prom dress, or anything like that. She won't be there to help me plan my wedding, or anything like that. If i have kids, she won't be there...and it's just really sad. I just really hope that i can be like her when i grow up, because in my eyes, she was perfect in every way. And omg-she had the BEST voice in this whole world. But at least, i've got the cd of her singing. And just yea...i dunno, i just really miss her. And i miss how she used to make us cakes for our birthdays, and how she used to make us dinner all the time. And how we acutally got our presents on our birthdays, and how we used to go to the airport and watch the planes leave just for the fun of it. And i remember how she always used to come in and help with the parties at school, and she'd always bring us McDonald's for our birthdays. And jsut yea...i don't know, it's just really sad. I dont' know, i just miss her so much, and i think that right now, i need her cause i have no idea what i'm gonna do about anything, and it's not that i can't talk to my friends or anything, it's just that sometimes you need a mom. But...looks like i don't have that, so yea. It just sucks, and yea...i honestly would not wish that upon ANYONE!!! Not even my worst enemy, because it's just about the worst thing in the world, and anyone's who's lost a parent knows that. Well, i shouldn't say that, cause maybe other people didn't have the kind of relationship with their parent like i had with mine, but still, it really sucks. And i just miss her so much. And someday....no matter what else i do, i'm gonna write and sing a song for her. No matter what, if i don't do anything else with my life, that's hwat i want. Maybe if they have a talent show at the Relay for Life this year, that's when i'll do it. Cause ya know, cancer and yea. Well now that i've got myself all upset, im gonna go.
-steph
Current Mood: 
sad
sadCurrent Music: One Hand, One Heart-Mom