: So...
Wow...so, lots has happened from teh time that i last updated. I still pretty much feel like shit, but not as badly. So last night, i was talking to Victor about this whole thing and then he was like, just forget about all 3 of us, and all this. And when he said that, i started crying and it was jsut like WOW! And just the thought of losing them all as friends was NOT cool. And now i'm pretty sure that everything is ALL messed up now, actually i nkow that it is, and it's MY fault...not anyone elses, all mine! I seriously really didn't mean to cause problems...and more than anything through this whole thing, i said some really STUPID and unfair things about Ricco...but anyone that really knows me, knows that i say incredibly STUPID stuff when i'm mad...and i always regret it!! like now for example! Wow...imagine that. And it was seriously really bad, cause he told me that, and i just cried, and cried and cried, and i went up to bed and cried myself to sleep....but before i actually fell asleep, i was thinking and ok, this is REALLY messed up, but anyways, i was thinking that all 3 of them are out to get me and all this, and it was SO bad, and then i kept waking up...and thinking about it and i was like go away....and it was incredibly messed up. Then i got up this morning...and i had to go run the Shillelagh! And i really didn't want to, but me and Feffula were talking about it and i was like, yea...i'm gonna pass out before the first mile and i'm gonna get trampled and my brains are gonna be splattered everywhere. And im gonna be roadkill. Then Feffula's like, can they serve you at the roadkill bar on Dixie highway? And i was like sure...there's a lot here...they can have some nice fat, they can make some fries with it. And they can have some nice slabs from my hector, there's a lot there to go around. So anyways...we go down there...and we stopped at Babbo's to say hi, and then we went there...and then Feffula dropped me off, and i got my number and everything, then i saw Aunt Shari, so we were talking adn then we saw Aunt Maria, and we waited for her, then we went outside...and it was raining!!!!!! So...i got to run in the rain, and it was AWFUL!!! My first mile was awesome, then after that, i just died...and i ended up running 37:39...and that is REALLY bad! But...i did end up getting 3rd place for my age group...so that's good. And i get some "hardware" according to Aunt Maria...lol, so yea. That's pretty cool i guess, i definitely did NOT think that i did good...at all, but o-well. And yea, Dad came to watch me!!!!!! :-D YaY!!!! Even though he had to work today, he still came, so that was good, and i was happy. And then after that we got some food, and then we went to Ashley's house to see if she was home, but she wasn't there, but we saw Vicki and G anyways, and G is so cute. Wow...i miss that girl. Then we went to g-ma and g-pas. And Aunt Shari and Uncle Robert came back and so we were all talking and it was good. But yea, when i was running, t his guy was like, i have a daughter that's older than you, you should be in front of me, so then uncle Robert was like, you shoudla been like, you try running with 2 artificial legs, or you try running with an artificial heart. It was just funny. Anyways...then i found out that Mom is the one that told Jell-o that they need to make blue jell-o! So that's awesome. And yea...we were talking about her for a while and how she always used to do stuff at school with us and how she always made stuff. And just yea...it was sad. But it brought back good memories. And then, we came home, and i went outside and i walked for like 45 minutes listening to Cold by Crossfade, cause it's just so fitting. And it was really cold, but i was thinking about all this, and then i took a bath...and it was good cause i thought some more...but Victor and me are good now, and that's good cause i really don't wanna lose him as a friend!! I don't wanna lose any of them as a friend...too bad for that though...i'm the stupid one!!!! And now, i'm gonna go cause i'm really tired. But i'll leave you with this:
looking back at me i see that i never really got it right
i never stopped to think of you
i'm always wrapped up in things i cannot win
you are the antidote that gets me by
something strong like a drug that gets me high
what i really meant to say
is i'm sorry for the way i am
i never meant to be so cold
i never meant to be so cold
what i really meant to say
is i'm sorry for the way i am
i never meant to be so cold
i never meant to be so cold
to you i'm sorry about all the lies
maybe in a different light
you could see me stand on my own again
cause now i can't see
you are the antidote that got me by
something strong like a drug that got me high
what i really meant to say
is i'm sorry for the way i am
i never meant to be so cold
i never meant to be so cold
what i really meant to say
is i'm sorry for the way i am
i never meant to be so cold
i never meant to be so cold
i never meant to be so cold
i never really wanted you to see
the screwed up side of me that i keep
locked inside of me so deep
it always seems to get to me
i never really wanted you to know
so many things that you shouldn't have known
i guess for me there's just no hope
i never meant to be so cold
what i really meant to say
is i'm sorry for the way i am
i never meant to be so cold
i never meant to be so cold
what i really meant to say
is i'm sorry for the way i am
i never meant to be so cold
i never meant to be so cold
Wow...so, lots has happened from teh time that i last updated. I still pretty much feel like shit, but not as badly. So last night, i was talking to Victor about this whole thing and then he was like, just forget about all 3 of us, and all this. And when he said that, i started crying and it was jsut like WOW! And just the thought of losing them all as friends was NOT cool. And now i'm pretty sure that everything is ALL messed up now, actually i nkow that it is, and it's MY fault...not anyone elses, all mine! I seriously really didn't mean to cause problems...and more than anything through this whole thing, i said some really STUPID and unfair things about Ricco...but anyone that really knows me, knows that i say incredibly STUPID stuff when i'm mad...and i always regret it!! like now for example! Wow...imagine that. And it was seriously really bad, cause he told me that, and i just cried, and cried and cried, and i went up to bed and cried myself to sleep....but before i actually fell asleep, i was thinking and ok, this is REALLY messed up, but anyways, i was thinking that all 3 of them are out to get me and all this, and it was SO bad, and then i kept waking up...and thinking about it and i was like go away....and it was incredibly messed up. Then i got up this morning...and i had to go run the Shillelagh! And i really didn't want to, but me and Feffula were talking about it and i was like, yea...i'm gonna pass out before the first mile and i'm gonna get trampled and my brains are gonna be splattered everywhere. And im gonna be roadkill. Then Feffula's like, can they serve you at the roadkill bar on Dixie highway? And i was like sure...there's a lot here...they can have some nice fat, they can make some fries with it. And they can have some nice slabs from my hector, there's a lot there to go around. So anyways...we go down there...and we stopped at Babbo's to say hi, and then we went there...and then Feffula dropped me off, and i got my number and everything, then i saw Aunt Shari, so we were talking adn then we saw Aunt Maria, and we waited for her, then we went outside...and it was raining!!!!!! So...i got to run in the rain, and it was AWFUL!!! My first mile was awesome, then after that, i just died...and i ended up running 37:39...and that is REALLY bad! But...i did end up getting 3rd place for my age group...so that's good. And i get some "hardware" according to Aunt Maria...lol, so yea. That's pretty cool i guess, i definitely did NOT think that i did good...at all, but o-well. And yea, Dad came to watch me!!!!!! :-D YaY!!!! Even though he had to work today, he still came, so that was good, and i was happy. And then after that we got some food, and then we went to Ashley's house to see if she was home, but she wasn't there, but we saw Vicki and G anyways, and G is so cute. Wow...i miss that girl. Then we went to g-ma and g-pas. And Aunt Shari and Uncle Robert came back and so we were all talking and it was good. But yea, when i was running, t his guy was like, i have a daughter that's older than you, you should be in front of me, so then uncle Robert was like, you shoudla been like, you try running with 2 artificial legs, or you try running with an artificial heart. It was just funny. Anyways...then i found out that Mom is the one that told Jell-o that they need to make blue jell-o! So that's awesome. And yea...we were talking about her for a while and how she always used to do stuff at school with us and how she always made stuff. And just yea...it was sad. But it brought back good memories. And then, we came home, and i went outside and i walked for like 45 minutes listening to Cold by Crossfade, cause it's just so fitting. And it was really cold, but i was thinking about all this, and then i took a bath...and it was good cause i thought some more...but Victor and me are good now, and that's good cause i really don't wanna lose him as a friend!! I don't wanna lose any of them as a friend...too bad for that though...i'm the stupid one!!!! And now, i'm gonna go cause i'm really tired. But i'll leave you with this:
looking back at me i see that i never really got it right
i never stopped to think of you
i'm always wrapped up in things i cannot win
you are the antidote that gets me by
something strong like a drug that gets me high
what i really meant to say
is i'm sorry for the way i am
i never meant to be so cold
i never meant to be so cold
what i really meant to say
is i'm sorry for the way i am
i never meant to be so cold
i never meant to be so cold
to you i'm sorry about all the lies
maybe in a different light
you could see me stand on my own again
cause now i can't see
you are the antidote that got me by
something strong like a drug that got me high
what i really meant to say
is i'm sorry for the way i am
i never meant to be so cold
i never meant to be so cold
what i really meant to say
is i'm sorry for the way i am
i never meant to be so cold
i never meant to be so cold
i never meant to be so cold
i never really wanted you to see
the screwed up side of me that i keep
locked inside of me so deep
it always seems to get to me
i never really wanted you to know
so many things that you shouldn't have known
i guess for me there's just no hope
i never meant to be so cold
what i really meant to say
is i'm sorry for the way i am
i never meant to be so cold
i never meant to be so cold
what i really meant to say
is i'm sorry for the way i am
i never meant to be so cold
i never meant to be so cold
Current Mood: 
indescribable
indescribableCurrent Music: Cold-Crossfade