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Below are 20 journal entries, after skipping by the 20 most recent ones recorded in
Froolie's Blurty:
| Thursday, August 26th, 2004 | |
| 7:55 pm | Ugh! So ok...we had a scrimmage today. I SUCKED!!! Omg-i got 28.20, i dont think i got that bad last year at all. I'm really upset with myself right now, but seriously-i did not feel like i could go any faster..its the heat and humidity...its a killer. But i love the team, and im super excited!!! Well...im not really excited for Mr. Conger-but i guess that ill just have to deal with that-" come on steph, make it look like you wanna run, not like you can." he said that to me today..i was like...ok-id like YOU to get out here and run in this heat..then you can tell me that. SO ugh...but Jordan and Adam are hilarious!!!! Actually all the guys are. On the way there, me, Christy, and Ashley were talking about how nasty peeners are...lol...it was great fun. And there's Alex's bulge...lmao. IT was just fun. And then Alex told me that i had a low self-esteem cause i kept calling myself stupid and i said something about running in our sports bras cause it was so hot, and then i was like, no...prolly not-i dont wanna blind everyone. And he was like, wow, you have a really low self-esteem, i was like yup, i do...thanks. But at least i can laugh at me stupidity. That's always a good thing to do...and i do. On the way home, they were passing around paper to write down our locker #'s...and me being the MoRoN that i am...i was like, Mr. Conger, what if i didn't get a locker-cause i thought they were talking about the sports lockers, and then someone's like, no, what's your locker number, i was like...OmG! im such an idiot. It was funny...But the race SuCkEd hector!!!And i dunno, just the people are awesome. Well, most of them. I'm excited for the freshmen, they're awesome....lol... Ok...so i just want everyone to know that...dont ever say anything to me about your parents...any negative things. Ok...people piss me off when they do that. Unless they don't have one of their parents...then ill understand-but..if not-do NOT say anything. Just be thankful that both of your parents are still around and they're not lying in the ground somewhere...knowing that you'll never be able to hear them speak, or see them, or even watch them breath again. Because let me tell you first hand that it sucks!!! Really a whole lot. So just appreciate the time that you have witht your parents...and dont bitch about them to me because i do NOT want to hear that. I just wanted to let everyone know that. Thank you...come again. Anyways-on a lighter note-school today-pretty good. Um... algebra, well i really dont like that class....blah....so history-um..i almost fell asleep a couple times, i should really get some more sleep. Venner-IM A 1st SOPRANO!!!!!! I'm super excited about that!!!!! Yay..i think that's what mom was! :-) and of course you all know that i wanna be like her, so yayness!!!! That makes me super, super happy. I'm dedicating this year of Venner to her-so i have to be really good. Band-omg-o0o0-im really excited...but im not gonna say yet....but hopefully, maybe i will be saying later tonight. But it makes me so happy and excited. Then lunch...i was so angry, they ran outta bosco sticks like RIGHT when i got there..it made me sad. Then Chem... i dont like that class either-im too stupid to take it. Then there's english-i love it! Seriously, im really excited for it. I think it'll be good...but i had to leave early for cross...blah. But yea.... I am seriously so convinced that Ricco does'nt like me..i really am. And that's sad...but...i guess that's what happens when you're stupid like me. Then Alex...lmao...he wants me to bake him a dozen cookies, i dont even remember why anymore, but it makes me laugh. He's a really good friend, i'm glad that i have him. And then there's Victor-haha-i luv him! He's great! He's so funny. And he kept telling me yesterday that i looked sexy...ha-i wish!!! "Prolly not"-in the lovely words of Fefffula....i miss her!!! I talked to her last night though!! :-D yay! And im gonna call her tonight. And yea....lol...so that's the lovliness in my life right now. Ok....im gonna go maybe do my homework, that would be a good idea. XoXo-steph Current Mood:  blahCurrent Music: Dilemma-Nelly and Kelly |
| Wednesday, August 25th, 2004 | |
| 5:05 pm | its been kinda a while So...yea...school started today. I dunno...i guess im excited. Algebra 2-prolly not, im really not looking forward to that class at all. History-im actually looking forward to that class. It should be fun, im really glad that i have Mr. Cowhy. I was so excited when i got my schedule changed!!! Venner-omg, of course im excited for that class!!! I love it, and Ricco's in there this year!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!! That makes me happy! For some reason, i dont know why, but i feel like i annoy him, or he doesn't like me or something...that makes me super sad. Anyways-band, that's gonna be fun with Carlot...but Andrea dropped out which makes me sad. And then at lunch, i went out with Carlot and Ashley. Then Chem...yea-i really am not looking forward to that class cause there's like no one in there that i talk to, and that kinda sucks. Then English-omg, im SOOOO excited for that class. I'm so happy that i got Mr. Spaulding when my schedule changed. And i like the people in it! So that makes me happy. It should be fun. but yea...so that's that. I can NOT believe that Feffula's gone...omg! She left today and that isn't cool at all. I wrote her last night and stuck it in with her cds. And just omg...we've been through SOOO much, and now-she's just gone. I just omg..i cant think about it anymore or im gonna start crying. So...everything pretty much just sucks right now. I am soo angry cause we have to run tomorrow-of course no one wants to cause we ran yesterday and it was SOO miserable. And now, we get to run tomorrow...what fun...yea-prolly not. I ran SOO bad yesterday-27.08 that is AWFUL! But i couldn't keep up with Ashley, i just, i couldn't do it...it was too hot, my damn feet hurt to bad, and i just didn't care enough to do it. So whatever-that's how im gonna be this season-i dont care. I dont know, i wanted to start this year off good, with a good, positive attitude, but that's definitely NOT happening. I'm being very pessimistic already and i feel like crap about like...pretty much everything. I think Ricco doesn't like me, i dont like the people in most of my classes, Feffula's gone, and just like...yea-i could go on, but id rather not bore you all to death. I just...i feel the need to cry right now, but i really dont wanna do that. Little too late for that now......I think Victor is annoyed with me too. I should seriosuly just...i dont know-put myself in a box maybe! Yea...probably so. I hate myself. That's nice-Victor just hung up on me...see-he is annoyed by me. :-( Im really upset right now...so im just gonna go Current Mood:  sadCurrent Music: Hard to Say I'm Sorry |
| Thursday, August 19th, 2004 | |
| 4:12 pm | ::sighs:: Ok...so lets see..im over being angry about that whole thing. Ya know, im sick of letting that stupid stuff get me upset, so im just gonna try really hard not to let it get to me. So hoeing SUCKED and practice that night sucked even more, i was so exhausted from hoeing, and we had to run the course and then run another 2 miles...what fun...even though i didn't do the 2 miles cause i went back with Amy...long story and it's not that interesting...lol...but yea. it just sucked a whole bunch. And im really not all that excited about cross anymore, i dont know why, i just....dont care i guess. I dunno...but anyways-on Tuesday-Feffula and me went to Babbo's again!!!!!!! I seriously love it there so much, im so glad that i have her cause i dunno what id do without her. We always have so much fun. And so yea...i ran to the cemetery and i talked to mom for like...15 minutes, then i ran back and we ate some Subway...MmMmM...and then we watched the Olympics-MiChAeL PhElPs!!! OmG-love him!!!! But then there's always Jason Gatson too...OMG...he is SOOOO unbelievably sexy and hott and tempting and just wow!!! And he's AWESOME-i watched him Monday night and he got a 9.825 on the parallel bars-highest US score of the night! Yea...that's right, he's awesome! And yea...he's just wow and yea...lol...and Michael Phelps-seriously he is AmAzInG!!!! He is such a great swimmer and omg-i have no words to say about him because he's just that good that it's like wow! Ya know!? But anyways...lol...watched the Olympics, and i stayed up til like...midnight watching them...and then the next morning we got up and went shopping of course! Fun times. And then we came home and ate lunch, then nap time. And then Babbo and Feffula took me to Don's Quality Service place at the bottom of Terrace Hill and then i ran up it, and down River rd. cause im stupid...and i ran past his house...and his car was there...and so then i turned around at Windmill pt. then ran back past his house...and i dunno it was just like...yea...then i ran back through town back to Babbo's and it was far! I couldn't believe that I actually did that because yea...it was just crazy, but i did and i was really excited. But then we went out to dinner at Sorrento's...SO good. Then Feffula and me packed up our stuff and i called Tony to see if we could stop by on our way out of town...and he answered the phone, i know it was him, and i asked if Tony was there and he paused for like...10 seconds and then he was like no he's not and hung up..i was like um...ok-what the hell...so we drove by his house and his car was still there. I was kinda just like....riiight! that makes a lotta sense. So i dunno....but we got home and yadada...not a whole lot. I saw Michael Phelps swim again! But i didn't get to see my other sexy...Jason Gatson...lol. Wow-im a freak. Owell, what can ya do? And i dunno, it feels so weird to be here now, i feel like i should be back at Babbo's. I love it there so much, i love Flushing so much. Its just....home. So...school starts in 6 days! I can't believe it...already its starting. Where did my summer go? I just wow. I was working in my room today to clean it, and i got kinda far, until i decided i needed a break and then watched the Olympics for a couple hours. And now, here i am..updating this because Shannon said...lol. I do agree with her that we need to become better friends. I do have a lot of fun with her...and she's so awesome! I love her! This year, im done with some of the friends i had last year...im just done with them. But Shannon-she's awesome and yea, we just need to become better friends!!! And since there's only 6 days til school starts, that means 6 days til Feffula leaves. That makes me really sad. I dont know what im gonna do. It's gonna be SOOO weird. I mean-that's less than a week and then i wont see her for a while. It's too weird to think about. Omg...i just, i cant think about it anymore, so im not going to. I called Aunt Emily today to tell her we couldn't come...:-(...but it was good to talk to her. I was really hoping id get to go cause i really wanted to talk to her and Will about that thing. But...i can't. So i told her i was gonna write her a letter and explain. And she said that some Friday she'd have to drive up here and pick me up and take me down there so i could spend the weekend with them. That sounds like fun and i REALLY wanna do that. I love spending time with her and Will...they're so much fun and i love them both to death. She's another one of my family that i dunno what id do without. And Will's parents, they're awesome, so hopefully we'd be able to go there and go swimming in the lake. That was lots of fun last year. And yea..i dunno, but ill be looking forward to being able to go down there. Cause i dunno, t hey said something about moving to California a while ago, and i really dont want them to. Aunt Emily's the only one i can talk to about like, anything. I mean, dont get me wrong, i LOVE all my other family to death, but she's just really easy to talk to. I dunno, maybe it's cause we've stayed up til...i dunno 2 in the morning talking a bunch of times, and she'll tell us stories about Mom and stuff. And I dunno, i just feel really comfortable around her. And everytime we used to go over to G-ma and G-pa's, she'd be there cause she was still in school, and she used to babysit us all the time, so we just grew up with her! Well...with that, i guess im gonna go finish my room...so maybe ill update some more later steph Current Mood:  nostalgicCurrent Music: Tiger Lily-Matchbook Romance |
| Sunday, August 15th, 2004 | |
| 10:05 pm | sorry i cant be perfect... So here i am-once again...so..i guess im a big disappointment now. Just cant seem to do anything right. Glad im a fuck-up because id like to spend some time with my own grandma. Heaven forbid i do that. Why doesn't someone just shoot me? I mean, seriously. I am SOOOO DAMN upset and angry right now. Oh, and im hoeing tomorrow-id hate to be even more of a disappointment just because i dont care to walk up and down a damn feild all afternoon-especially when i have to go to practice and probably run....5 miles. And of course it'll be hot and my damn side hurts like a bitch and i dont even know why...but of course-i would LOVE to go hoe....just love it! It'll give me time to think about all the negative shit in my life...wonderful-just what i want and need. Time to think about how much i hate just about everything in my life right now....can't wait. And of course, i wont have my music cause i dont have any batteries for my little radio thing which sucks!! But-just shows that ill do anything not to be an even bigger disappointment than i already am. Don't want that to happen. Not like it'll make a difference. No matter what i do...ill never be good enough. Hey dad look at me Think back and talk to me Did I grow up according to plan? And do you think I'm wasting my time doing things I wanna do? But it hurts when you disapprove all along And now I try hard to make it I just want to make you proud I'm never gonna be good enough for you I can't pretend that I'm alright And you can't change me 'Cuz we lost it all Nothing lasts forever I'm sorry I can't be perfect Now it's just too late and We can't go back I'm sorry I can't be perfect I try not to think About the pain I feel inside Did you know you used to be my hero? All the days you spent with me Now seem so far away And it feels like you don't care anymore And now I try hard to make it I just want to make you proud I'm never gonna be good enough for you I can't stand another fight And nothing's alright 'Cuz we lost it all Nothing lasts forever I'm sorry I can't be perfect Now it's just too late and We can't go back I'm sorry I can't be perfect Nothing's gonna change the things that you said Nothing's gonna make this right again Please don't turn your back I can't believe it's hard Just to talk to you But you don't understand 'Cuz we lost it all Nothing lasts forever I'm sorry I can't be perfect Now it's just too late and We can't go back I'm sorry I can't be perfect 'Cuz we lost it all Nothing lasts forever I'm sorry I can't be perfect Now it's just too late and We can't go back I'm sorry I can't be perfect Wow...how true is that song!? Pretty damn... well i guess now im gonna go... --the disappointment-- Current Music: Perfect-Simple Plan |
| 8:35 pm | DAVIDEK, Debra J. (McCarty) Of Flushing, age 34, died Tuesday, September 2, 1997 at her residence. Funeral services will be held 11AM Friday, September 5, 1997 at Rossell Funeral Home, Fr. Steve Makrayni will officiate. Burial will follow at Flushing Cemetery. Visitation will be 4-9PM Wednesday and 11AM-9PM Thursday. Contributions may be made to the American Cancer Society or charity of choice. Mrs. Davidek was born in Erie, PA December 24, 1962, the daughter of Melvin and Sue (Baker) ...:-/...that's part of Mom's obituary...you know me-totally stupid when it comes to being in a bad mood. I don't know why i looked it up...but i did...and im just yea...i dont know-i just am in a not very good mood right now... Current Mood: sadCurrent Music: When it Goes Down-Something Corporate |
| 10:49 am | ok...so wow... So...a LOT has happened since i last updated. Monday-i dont know and i dont really care, it was a long time ago and im too stupid to remember what happened...oh-i got my schedule which SUCKS and i think im gonna get it changed cause the whole history last hour thing, it just isn't gonna work with me and cross. And o0o0o yea-it was the first practice for cross...AWESOME im SOOO excited for this season. And anyways-then on Tuesday-i dont know what i did during the day-probably nothing knowing me, but that night i went over to Carlot and Rachies....fun times, fun times. Especially at Burger King when i ah..."wet myself" lmao...i think that's like the 3rd time that ive done that to make someone laugh, and it took all i had not to burst out laughing when i went up to get my pie...wow...that was fun. Then we went to the park later and Alex met us there...and we rolled down the hill..it was fun but there were scary guys there and it wasn't cool-Carlot and me didn't like it very much. Then on Wednesday-i probably did nothing during the day again, but we ran 4 1/2 miles at practice-i thought i was gonna die, i dont think ive ever ran that far before, but i did it and i was proud of myself and it really made me feel better. And then Thursday, dont think i did anything, but we ran the same course at practice, and i improved my time by 2 minutes! Yay for me...lol. o0o-wait, Aunt Maria called that day to tell us that it was family day at the pool Friday, so i talked to Roxi about going, and then staying with Babbo for a while and it was ok. So..then Friday morning, i woke up at 7...what fun and i got packed and got ready and we headed down to Flushing. So, we got to the pool and i swam with Brianne, Stacia, Kelton, and Kailee...omg-they are adorable. They kept making me go get a 10 lb. brick off the bottom of the pool...lol-they're so adorable. i love them. But then, i knew i had to run cause i just did. So...you know how cool i am. I decided i was gonna be cool and run up Terrace hill and so i did, and then i started running down River rd. and i just happened to run past his house....wonder how that happened. Lol..but no one was there so it made me kinda sad, so then i decided i was gonna be ultimately cool and run up to Central to see if they were practicing...and nope. So...i ran all over hell-it was fun. Not really...but it was good, i probably ran about 4 miles or so...and then i went back to Roaring 20's cause that's where i told Feffula to meet me, so she got there 10 minutes late, and i was really cold. But G and Ash were with her, so we were gonna take them home and i made Feffula take River rd. cause it was the easiest way and we passed his house and his car was there!!!!! UGH! So Ashley's like-OMG STOP!!!!!!! And i was like OMG NO!!!! DONT DO IT! So...Feffula practically slammed on her brakes and i was like-no-keep going cause i looked like hell. So we took Ashley and G home, then went to Babbo's. And it was fun. Babbo and me went up to school and that's about it. So then on Saturday-of course we had to go shopping. And we went to Kohl's and Babbo got me some new shoes, a new black shirt cause you know me and my black shirts..lol..and this other shirt that i really like-she thought it was a dress...it was fun. Then we went to Target and she got me a blowdryer since Feffula's taking hers with her. So then we came home and had lunch. And then we took our naps, and then we did some other stuff...lol..i forgot-o00o0o0o-wait, we went to the cemetery!!! But then i dont remember what else we did. We went home and made cereal mix...MmMmMmM!!!!! So that night, we watched the Olympics....OMG-Michael Phelps-AwEsOmE-AMAZING swim....he got his first gold medal...very exciting!!! Lol...so then went to bed and i got up and ran this morning-i ran to the cemetery and talked to Mom. I talked to her about this thing.....im not gonna say what it is cause im just not-maybe later...but not now cause im not sure about it yet. And yea...so i talked to her about that, and school starting and stuff. And then i ran back to Babbo's and got packed and everything. Then we went to pick up Mrs. Bushong, and i saw his house again...and his car was there...lol-wow im a freak!!!! Anyways, so then we were coming home and Babbo and Mrs. Bushong were saying all this sweet stuff about me, like Mrs. Bushong, she was like, who always has a beautiful smile and positive attitude. And it just made me feel good. So we got home and i called Aunt Emily about this weekend, and i think we're going down there Friday and staying for the Dream Cruise. It should be fun. And today im going to Caseville with some of the team. I dunno-it'll be fun. But yea...i've got a LOT of thinking to do about this. I dont even know...its just wow. I'm gonna talk to Will about it when i go down there...cause yea i need to. But i dunno...its crazy and i have to give this a LOT of thought about what im gonna do and ive just yea...i have to look at all aspects of it and decide cause just wow. But now im gonna go get ready for the beach so buhbye XoXo-steph Current Mood: blahCurrent Music: Hold On-Jet |
| Sunday, August 8th, 2004 | |
| 8:29 pm | 17 days!!!!!!!!!!! So today was a weird, but good day. I was just thinking about a LOT of stuff. Like, this year, it's gonna be the first year without Feffula. That's gonna be SOOO weird. I dont know what im gonna do cause whenever id have a bad day, she'd always be there for me to talk to and to cheer me up. And like, i dont know, its just gonna be really weird. And i dont know, Babbo gave us some stuff last time we were down there, and i just cleaned my room so im going through it now-its just like candles and stuff-and there's this one and the smell reminds me SOO much of Flushing, its' really weird. And so i was thinking about that, and there were Halloween candles, and so i started thinking about-omg-this is gonna be my first year without Feffula for Halloween-and i dont know, it's gonna be weird. Then i started thinking about the winter and how unbelievably excited i am for it!!!! Then there's always fall too..it is SOO beautiful. Its one of those times where i just wanna go for a walk through the park with someone special. And then winter-omg!!! I LOVE it and that means a Venner Christmas which i can NOT wait for!!!! I'm so excited for that. I love it soooooo much-thats one of my favorite things about winter. Its so much fun going to night rehearsals-i love that-granted i get exhausted, but still...and that's the first time i started liking Ricco...and if i hadn't...who knows where id be now. I mean, he's seriously like just wow. He always makes me feel like a whole bunch better about myself. It'll be ok without Feffula though...i mean-ill have Ricco-he's always there for me and he has this way about him that always cheers me up!! And just wow. Only 17 days until school starts. Where has this summer gone?!?! I haven't accomplished anything that i've wanted to. Cross Country starts tomorrow and ive only ran like....maybe 5 times this summer. I'm really disappointed in myself in that aspect because i really wanna do good this year and make it to Regionals and States again this year-even though States are on my birthday which is gonna SUCK-still...i wanna go. I haven't lost like any weight. But i think that's ok. At the beginning of the summer-i was really down on myself, but now, i find myself having a lot more self-confidence. I feel a lot better about the way i look and just about myself in general. I was talking to Adam last night and he told me that i was a good friend, and that just made me feel really good. I will admit, sometimes i do get annoyed with people-and im really trying to work on that. But just to hear that im a good friend makes me feel great about myself. It makes me feel a lot more like Mom which is good because she was an amazing person, and i wanna be like her, as beautiful as she was, have as AmAzInG of a voice as she did, and i just wanna be like her. One good thing about school coming though is the fact that im changing who i am-in a way. For the most part, im happy with who i am, but there's a part of me that i hate. It's the part that puts other people down. I dont care who else does it, cause no matter what, whenevre i put someone down, i always feel like crap afterwards looking at them and thinking about how i would feel if i was in their position. Im sick of being that person and doing it for no reason at all. I need to stop judging people too...i know its human nature, but i need to stop. Im sure that i get judged too...but i dont wanna judge others, i dont wanna be the mean, person i was before. I'm gonna befriend people that need it. If someone's sitting alone at lunch or something-im gonna talk to them, i just, i wanna be a good person and befriend people who are in need of it. I wanna be a person that people look up to and respect. I wanna be known as a girl that people could talk to. Ya know? I wanna be nice to everyone. Most of all, i wanna stop getting so angry and upset over the stupidest things. I just wanna be a better person. I really wanna get along with Roxi and Alexis this year. I wanna be closer to Dad too and to be able to talk to him about everything. There's always that weird silence there, but i dont want that to be there anymore. I wanna be happy this year and im gonna try hard to do that. I wanna stop taking things for granted. I really wanna help out at like, soup kitchens and work with developmentally disabled people. I wanna go to a Children's Hospital and visit kids there. I just, i really wanna be a better person and stop worrying so much about myself and focus my life on other people who need help. I'm sick of worrying about what people think about me. That's another thing im gonna work on-just being myself and not caring what others might think about it. Ive got my friends, i know that they love me for me, and if other people dont like that, well then whatever-im who i am. And i definitely need to try and be a better student this year. I really need to not spend so much time on the computer this year and focus on school. I was definitely not happy with my grades last year, and i wanna change that. Im actually gonna study this year and work hard to get good grades. Im gonna pay attention in class and if i dont understand something, then im gonna get help with it instead of just pretending like it doesnt matter. I NEED to stop swearing this year too-that goes along with being so angry all the time. If i get angry, i start to swear, and thats not good. I hate swearing-i hate getting angry, so im really gonna try to not do that anymore. I'm gonna focus on the positive things in my life instead of dwelling on the negative. The more i talk about this, the more excited i get for school to start. I going with Ashley to get my schedule tomorrow morning!!!!!!! I can't wait...!!! it's gonna be awesome! I'm really excited to just get back to school and to start becoming who i wanna be and to see everyone and to just be doing something. That's what i dont like about summer, i really dont do anything so i sit at home and think about all the negative things in life instead of focusing on the negative things and then i just get angry and all roar. I need to stop that. I dont know, im just feeling really good about...everything now. I'm getting along with everyone in the family right now. But its sad cause Jessie left on Friday morning to go back to Kalamazoo, only this year, she has a house so she probably won't be home that much. I know we weren't that close, but she always seemed so happy. I dont know, i just miss her. But yea...i feel good about myself for once, and i dont think im ugly and hanous looking. I dont think i sing awful-ive been doing a lot of that. Im working kinda, i hoe which is kinda bad, but its good money that i could use. And im just excited about things right now. I'm excited to go back and see everyone!!!! And yea....ive started making my lists...lol...already. I still have 17 days to wait-but yea, i made a list of what im gonna put in my locker, purse, bag, cc bag and things that i need to get. Like...a blowdryer since Feffula is taking hers to college. A new bag for cc since ive had mine since i was like....7. A new cd player since i ah....ran over mine with the lawn mower and its totally ruined. I need to get some more soft lips because i absolutely LOVE that stuff and im almost out of mine...:'( and yea-not like thats important...but i thought id throw that in there too. And ok, someone got some Jr. stuff for Feffula and i saw it on her bed, and she's told me before thta this person doesn't have very much money and is basically on her own, so i saw them, and i started to cry because i havent always been nice to this person, but i saw those, and i called Feffula and i told her, and i started crying because i dont know, i just, i feel so bad for things i may have said about her before..that made me cry. And i told Feffula about how i need to change myself and everything too and she told me that im already a good person, but all i could do was cry more and say no-i put other people down and judge them. And so i know that i need to change that...but yea...i really dont feel like crying anymore tongiht so im gonna go XoXo-steph oh...yea..its been one month today... speaking of being a better person and such-there is a song that i absolutely LOVE-especially right now and its so just like wow-so ill leave you with the lyrics to it no one sits with him, he doesn't fit in but we feel like we do when we make fun 'cause you want to belong, do you go along? 'cause his pain is the price paid for you to belong it's not like you hate him or want him to die but maybe he goes home and thinks sucide or he comes back to school with a gun at his side and a kindness from you might have saved his life heroes are made when you make a choice [chorus...] you could be a hero - heroes do what's right you could be a hero - you might save a life you could be a hero - you could join the fight for what's right, for what's right, for what's right no one talks to her, she feels so alone she's in too much pain to survive on her own the hurt she can't handle overflows to a knife she writes on her arm wants to give up her life each day she goes on is a day that she's brave fighting the lie that giving up is the way each moment of courage her own life she saves when she throws the pills out a hero is made heroes are made when you make a choice [chorus] no one talks to him about how he lives he thinks that the choices he makes are just his doesn't know he's the leader with the way he behaves and others will follow the choices he's made he lives on the edge, he's old enough to decide his brother who wants to be him is just nine he can do what he wants because it's his right the choices he makes change a nine-year-old's life [chorus] thats how i wanna be.... Current Mood:  accomplishedCurrent Music: Hero-Superchic(k) |
| Saturday, August 7th, 2004 | |
| 12:07 am | whoo isnt this fun? so i stole this from Shannon-thanks *You* - Name?: Stephanie-no....steph -Birthday: November 6th -Current Hair Color?: brown -Natural Hair Color?: brown -Eye Color?: blue -Glasses or Contacts?: nope -Braces?: used to have them but i dont anymore... -Single or taken?: taken -Height?: 5'9" -Weight?: 135 -Freckles?: nope -Curly/Straight/Wavy Hair?: straight -Skin Color?: white -Birthplace/Where You live now: frankenmuth....blah *Details About You* -Least favorite Body Part?: legs, stomach -Favorite Body Part?: my hector...lol -Piercings?: two in each ear -Tattoos?:0 -Self Esteem on scale of 1-10: 8-all thanks to Ricco -What Do you Think of Your Looks 1-10: 7-again, all thanks to Ricco -Do You Paint Your Nails?: yea...occasionally -Body Type?: victor says its curvy -Are You Happy With Yourself?: um..i guess so-yea -Introvert/Extrovert: introvert -Are You Suicidal?: no... -Ever Cut Yourself?: nope -Mainly Happy Or Sad?: i try to be happy...it doesn't always work though -Lazy or Busy?: lazy *Your Personality* -Depressed or Happy?: um...like i said-happy, but sometimes its definietly depressed -Loud or Quiet?: normally loud -Stay At Home or Go Out?: well considering i never go out cause i really dont have too many friends-i like to stay at home...and veg in my pjs -Rent a Movie or Go to Theatre: definitely rent a movie -Are You a Flirt?: not really -Strong willed?: not really -Obnoxious?: i dont know-you tell me -A Good Friend?: hopefully -Horny?: thats a whole lotta no comin at ya -Slutty?: i hope not -Shy?: not really -Understanding?: i like to think so -Random?: yes -Emotional?: omg-that's a definite yes-i cry over the stupidest things -Sensitive?: omg-yes... -Mean?: i try not to be but i know i am sometimes... -Blunt?: not really -Honest?: umm...yes -Bitchy?: yes...quite often-well not really, only unless you really make me angry -Original?: no ones original now a days.. everythings already been done before--i agree with Shannon -Arrogant?: not really -Confident?:um...kinda -Artsy?: not really -Ambitious?: yea -Dependent?: not really -Funny?: yes, i like to think so with my gomerishness and all -Sarcastic?:sometimes -Opinionated?: yea *Favorites* -color: blue-but only pretty blues -food:right now-cucumbers...lol...they're soooo good!!!! -song: as of right now-the most recent song Ricco sent me--i love it!!!!! -band: Trapt -type of kiss: sweet and innocent i guess..i dunno -type of sex: considering im a hardcore virgin..i really wouldn't know now would i?...nope -piercing: cartilage -hair color: doesnt matter-im not really into blonde guys though..normally they're cocky -eye color: i like blue eyes... -movie: A Walk to Remember -TV show: One Life to Live although i haven't been able to watch it in a while...:'( -website:Llanview Banner-oltl -animal: kikis!!!! :-D -TV channel: probably....MTV -radio station: 102.5-lots of variety-good for singing-good for dancing... -comedian: Jeff Foxworthy -book: Dark Secrets-Dont Speak -shirt you own: my blue striped one...i love it!!!! -pants you own?: glo jeans -drink: water -city:FLUSHING!!!!!!!!! of course-must you ask? -thing to do by yourself: um....sing and dance -think to do with friends: do something fun -friend:...Ricco...he's always there telling me positive things....what would i do without him?! *Love Life* -Are You In A Relationship?: yes -If Not Would You Like To Be?: - - Do You Have A Crush?: no comment -Crush/Partners Name?: no comment Crush/Partners Age?:no comment -Are You In Love?: no -Would You Do Anything For Them?: almost -Do They Love You?:yea right...wishful thinking right there -Would They Do Anything For You?: again-wishful thinking -Is It Love Or Lust?: i dont know *Questions* -Do You Drink Alcohol?: that's a whole lot of HELL NO coming at you...i dont see the point in it at all...whooo-lets get trashed and make an ass of myself-sounds like fun.....yea-or not -Do You Smoke Cigarettes?: another HELL NO comin at ya...that's damn stupid -Do You Smoke Pot?: wow..imagine that-HELL NO again...that would be damn stupid of me thank you... -Or Do Any Other Drugs?: my goodness-thats another HELL NO comin full force at ya-i actually have a life thank you -Do You Party?: nope-i see no need to do that either -Do You Have Sex?: thats a no -In A Relationship or Casually?: enough with the booty questions thank you -Do You Prefer to Confide In People?:no...i like to confide in Albert...lmao...or just my journal -Best friend(s)?: Ricco...Carlot....Victor...Alex thats about it thanks *Sex Life* -Are You A Virgin?: yes-i believe i already stated that i am a HARDCORE virgin... -If Not, Do You Have Casual Sex?: -- -Are You In A Relationship?:i believe i already answered that question as well -What’s the kinkiest thing you have ever done?: lets see...nothing -What’s the kinkiest thing you want to do?: sorry-i dont sit there and think about all the kinky things i wanna do... -Your Sexuality?: straight -Would You Have a threesome?: probably NOT -with who? You and 2 males, 2 girls or male and female?: yea or not -Would You use handcuffs?: no -Do You use protection?: no because as ive mentioned before im a VIRGIN-but if that ever changes i will -favorite sex position?: yup-i think ive also said enough with the booty questions-thanks and dont come again -places you have had sex?: i haven't! -have you/would you like to have sex in public?: not particularly -do your parents know you are sexually active?: they know that im not *Ambitions*: -Ever Want to Get Married?: definitely!! -Have Kids?: defnitely! -Go To College?: yes!!! -Die?: yea-someday when im older well that was fun...but now im a little tired and think i need to go to bed... Current Mood:  confusedCurrent Music: Take My Breath Away-Roxette |
| Wednesday, August 4th, 2004 | |
| 11:01 pm | so let me slip away... So...yea...um...quite a bit has happened the past couple days, but i dont really feel like going through it all right now. Today-i cleaned my room and i cleaned most of Feffulas...and yea. I was in a good mood but now im not. I dont know-it makes me mad cause ok-someone-i wont mention any names-is all like, you're my best friend, i miss you and all this-yet just doesnt talk to me online-right. that makes sense but whatever...ya know just screw that. And then there's always that other thing-im just really confused. I dont know what im gonna do cause just yea. I dont know. I just dont know. And Feffula's leaving in 22 days!!! I can't believe it-it makes me sad. I dont know-i just yea...im gonna play solitare or something cause yea-ive got nothing better to do and i dont really have anything else to say. Current Mood: confusedCurrent Music: Lets be us Again-Lonestar |
| Friday, July 30th, 2004 | |
| 11:58 pm | :-/...Flushing... So ever since i last updated-ive been thinking about Flushing...stupid of me i know, but just yea. I dont know, im just really sad and upset and blah. Cause ok, today, after we went to the cemetery, we drove past the high school, and i was just thinking-thats where i need to be going to school. I'm just really upset right now...im in one of my Flushing moods i guess...i dont know i just wish that i still lived there. I was thinking about that at g-ma and g-pas today. How awesome would it be if i still lived there? Yea-extremely! I really, really dont like this place. And we went to Tucker today and Amy, Kyle, and Krista were working, and Amy told us to come up into the office and hang out and of course that brought back memories, cause we used to do that like every single day. We seriously like, lived at the pool in the summer. And we'd always either stay in the pool between sessions or go up in the office. And even during sessions, we'd go up there. That place was like our 2nd home. I love that place. And because of the fact that i am DAMN stupid-i just looked at my yearbook from 4th grade...::sniffle sniffle:: and i went through and said everyone's name from my class and i knew all of them, and i had a little story for each one...wow...ok-so the faucet needs to NOT be turned on now, i had enough of that earlier today...so im just gonna go to bed now cause i dont wanna think about it anymore.... Current Mood: sadCurrent Music: Bad Days-Something Corporate |
| 10:39 pm | so yea... Ok..so lets see...on Wednesday-it ws Rachie's birthday!!!!! 18!!! So, she came over, and we had french toast..mmmm...and then she left. And then feffula and me went into town for a bit, then came home, and me being stupid thought i had appendicitis...like i said-im stupid so i was ballin my eyes out and feffula didnt care cause she was sleeping on the couch, so she told me to go mow the lawn, so i did. Then Ashley and Shannon came to see me, and i went with them to Saginaw and we were trying on clothes and shoes...lmao-it was hilarious...and then i came home, had the house to myself. I dont know what i did, but i know that later i talked to Tony!! :-) And yea...um...yesterday-i finished mowing the lawn and i attempted to weed the garden, but it's soo bad that i really couldn't tell what anything was, so i kinda gave up on that. And then um...i dont think i did anything else, but i know i missed talking to Tony three times, so it was really sad. And i talked to him for like...5 minutes last night...and yea. I was so this morning..i got up and i cleaned a little. Then feffula told me that we were leaving at 12 to go to Flushing, but i was supposed to talk to Tony around 12:30 to see if he could do anything today. but around 12 i came down here cause feffula went to the bank, and he left me a message saying he had to help his grandma move outta storage today so he couldnt do anything...so you know me, i went and cried. And so then feffula got here, and so we went to Ashley's and her, feffula, G and me went to Taco Bell. And omg-i love G-she's hilarious. But then yadada...and then we left there and went to the cemetery and then to grandma and grandpa's for dinner!!! MmMmMmMmM we had quick-fried steak, potatoes and green beans-it was SOOO good and then we had ice cream cones of desert. And then i sat and had a cup of coffee with them...lol...it was fun! I miss spending time with them, and having our late night Sorry games-where of course id always win...lol and we were reminiscing...:-/...like the time when Mom and Dad went to Toronto and i had a really bad earache, and we were waiting for Aunt Jamie somewhere, and we were in the car, and she made me sit in the very back cause i was crying...lol...and then when Mom had her seizure and we stayed over there, we kept our stuff in the living room, and their windows are big and face the road, and we'd change in there-and i remember grandma saying-"dont change in front of the window, no one wants to see your dupa" and i just remember lots of stuff like that...those were the good days! So then we came home, and i was talking to Alex...lol...wow-im really glad that after everything that's happened we're still friends. He's seriously one of my best ones, and he's great! And im teaching him how to dance...lol...that should be fun. But now, im just gonna go... steph Current Mood: blahCurrent Music: Ricco's song!!!! :-D I LOVE IT!!!! |
| Tuesday, July 27th, 2004 | |
| 5:22 pm | ugh... I feel SO ugly today. I really do-my hair is pissing me off!! It's so damn wavy and it pisses me off-i hate it-i wanna cut if off....but i look SOOO bad with short hair-refer to 4th grade picture-Tony knows that...so i can't cut it off-but it pisses me off cause it's so damn stupid and it looks like shit! And then i just feel like a beached whale...i feel fat and ugly and i just feel really bad about myself right now. I dont know why...no one said anything to make me feel this way, i just do. And i just am in a really NOT good mood right now and im starting to cry...soemone should really just find a box for me to go in, then shut it all up and throw it into the ocean so no one would ever have to see my ugliness again! i hate myself...i hate everything about myself. i dont know what my problem is...but i really dont like it...and on top of all that...feffula has decided that she doesn't need to spend time at home anymore, and she's always gone...and she's leaving once again...even though she's leaving in a month for college...but that doesn't matter. i just wont see her anymore and everything will be shit. that's wonderful...just fuckin wonderful. im going Current Mood:  pissed offCurrent Music: Broken-Seether and Amy Lee |
| Monday, July 26th, 2004 | |
| 7:24 pm | so wow... so...lets see...the family reunion wasn't nearly as bad as i thought it would be. got up there Thursday, and i just read. Then on Friday it was the golfouting, but i went over to Shawn's and hung out with Ashley and Mopey all day...and omg-thye have kittens and poor boots doesn't have a tail!! :-( and yea...the kiki slept right next to me! It was so cute, i want that kiki. But then we went to the Rainbow and had dinner, then back to the cabin to clean it, then we played soem games...then we watched a movie...then i went to bed. And then on Saturday-we went to the beach for the big reunion thing. And it was fun! Ash and me played volleyball on the beach, then other people came and played-it was lots of fun, but i SUCK!!!! It was actually kinda fun. I was trying to be positive about it though cause of Ricco...and it worked, so i was really excited to come home and tell him about it...lol. Anyways...so then i came home, and sexy Rachie and Calley came over, then they left and then i wrote my letters, then they all left at 3 in the mornign. So then i woke up, yadada, then Feffula and me went to the summer birthday party....and Aunt Shari's pregnant now too!!! :-D Her due date is exactly 3 weeks after Aunt Jamie's so that's exciting. But it was a lot of fun and yea...omg-Kailee is adorable!! i love that girl! And of course-i talked to Court....love that girl too!! It was just really good to talk to the family and to see them all!!! i love them all soooo much and i wouldn't trade any of them for anything. But yea...since we were in Flushing, i was hoping that id get to see Tony, so i called him, and he was getting ready to go to his uncle's house, so i couldn't see him and you know me-overdramatic bitch...lol-so i was all like, omg he doesn't likem e, he doesn't wanna see me, he doesn't care. im so damn stupid-ok, i give him like...3 hours notice?!? not even that long and just im SO stupid! And i told Adam about boots and he told me he was gonna get me a kiki. I was like aww yay! But yea, so then i went to a bonfire at Carlot and Rachie's...it was lots of fun. David, Kyle, Mike, and some other guy whose name i dont remember, they came over too. Kyle is hilarious!!! And yea...Calley-you have a circle over your head that says stupid...lol wow-good times. I needed that. But then i came home, and Tony left me messages...and i felt bad for being such a bitch...and so today-i woke up and did nothing. I felt so lazy, but i really just didnt wanna do anything. But then i talked to Tony tonight!!!! :-D It was around 8, and i apologized for being such a bitch...but he said i wasn't-but i know i was. And so then he told me he was gonna be on around 12, so i was like ok, and so i went and watched Secret Window with Trina, Randy, Sexy Rachie, Gina, and Feffula, and i came down around 11:45, and he left me messages saying he was going to bed...i was like....:'( thats really sad, so me being the cmplete moron i am started crying....thats just how pathetic i am. I really have issues. It's like...12:15 now, and yea..i started typing this, then i ate dinner, went swimming, yadada, and then yea..i came down here now to finish it...and im kinda tired and kinda sad, and i just wanna sleep cause i didnt get to talk to him...so goodnight- XoXo-steph Current Mood:  exhaustedCurrent Music: Missing You Now-Michael Bolton |
| Sunday, July 25th, 2004 | |
| 7:31 pm | Ok so.... So, there's a lot that's happened, but im leaving in a little bit for Carlots-BONFIRE!!!! But yea...i really dont think that Tony likes me. I dont know...im kind alike a whole lotta blah right now, cause just yea-ill explain the story later cause ive gotta go, but i just dont think he likes me and yea...its kinda sad...but yea...:-/...i was hoping id get to see him today-but i didn't cause yea he was getting ready to go to his uncles.....but just ok-whatever...screw it-im going Current Mood: confusedCurrent Music: Vindicated-Dashboard Confessional |
| Wednesday, July 21st, 2004 | |
| 9:54 pm | omg... So...tonight's gonna be one of those nights where i just cry myself to sleep...i went to flushing today. We went to have dinner at Babbo's and then we went to the Nightshades concert-but before that we went to the cemetery. And i dont know, but i just got REALLY sad...and i was hoping that Tony would be able to come, but he couldn't, so i didn't get to see him which really kinda sucked like a whole lot. But on the way home, Feffula and me were talking about mom and i just got REALLY upset and i came home and i just cried...and i went for a walk outside, and cried. And i tried to call Ricco to talk to him, cause i figured he'd make me feel better...but i got the answering machine, so i didn't get to talk to him. And so i feel still like shit. And tomorrow-i have to go to Roxi's family reunion, and i really don't wanna go. I dont talk to anybody up there and i always feel SOO outta place, and Feffula has to work all weekend, so she won't be going up there with me...so i get to be by myself, and im really not looking forward to it, and im just in such a bad mood right now, and i just can't stop crying-i can't pull it together for even like...5 minutes-it really sucks. And i just omg...i dont wanna go and i miss mom so much! And here i go again....crying-isn't that just wonderful....yea-no, definitely NOT! just omg....i just i wanna go lay in the rain...yes, i am weird, i do realize this but what the hell ever. it would make me happy...and really, i dont have too many sources of happiness anymore...thinking about it-i have maybe.....2?!? I just ugh! seriously...i dont even know, but i just feel like complete and total SHIT right now...and just forget everything-seriously. Current Mood:  pessimisticCurrent Music: Broken-Seether and Amy Lee |
| Monday, July 19th, 2004 | |
| 3:13 pm | i love my arbus carlot and sexy rachie!!! Ok so yea...im still feeling kinda sad about Flushing and everything!!! And yea..its not cool cause i just really wish taht i still lived there, but if i did-i wouldn't have Carlot and Rachie...and without them-id die. But still-i love that place so much. And yea.... On Saturday-i dont really think that i did anything...i dont remember though...thats probably not good. Oh, ok, yea i just watched i love the 90's and got sad cause of Flushing...yea, know i remember. I did the dishes a couple of times too. On Sunday-i went to church and then i watched the Olympic trials for SWIMMING!!!!!! :-D And yea, it made me realize hwo much i miss it and i got sad. Then i didn't really do anything until Carlot and Rachie told me that they were gonna come over and swim...lol. So they did and it was lots of fun. And then we went out to Arby's...and it was good. And it was lots of fun.."no, more like 38 seconds"-Rachie...lmao!! That was great, and then of course i had to bust out in my walrus laugh...it was great. And then we came back here, and danced around and it was hilarious...then we watched Sleepy Hollow...that movie is SOO stupid. And then i was tired so i went to bed. And then today-i got up and talked to Carlot and she told em that her and Rachie were going to the mall and they asked if i wanted to come, and of course i did, so i asked and so they came and picked me up. And the ride there was fun cause we were doing our dance to Save a Horse Ride a Cowboy..."do the surf" it was great. And then we shopped and i got this really cute black dress with pink polkadots on it at Charlotte Russe and it was only like....$13!!! And we went to Rainbow and all i have to say about that is "MEOW" haha, that was great. I'm excited to wear that..and then we went to Deb and there was this REALLY cute dress. And Carlot insisted that i get it, but i didnt have any more money so she bought it for me, and it's gonna be for the Christmas dance, so i'll get money for it i think-but yea..it was only $15! And so yea...im really excited cause they're both really cute. And yea...ok-so evreytime Carlot and Rachie see me-they tell me that i look like i've gotten skinnier. I dont know what they're smoking-cause i really dont think so...but it makes me feel better. And yea...oh my goodness....yea...so i went over there on Thursday night for a bonfire!!!! It was great-i made Rachie read this thing and i was goign to put it back in my pocket and i was like..." i can't find my ass" cause i coudln't find my pocket and Carlot started cracking up...but yea, then we were trying to get twigs and so Carlot got out this grimreaper lookin saw and she's hackin away at the trees-it was so funny. But yea-we talked about lots of stuff and it was just good to talk to her caus ei have'nt in like...forever. And yea...then i came home.........and yea. And now im home again and i dont really wanna do anything...i think im going to Flushing tomorrow again. The Nightshades concert is on Wednesday night and i really wanna go to it. And i really wanna see Tony too... cause i miss him SoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo much and yea. I just need to see him. I haven't talked to him since...Friday cause he went up north for the weekend. And i just think that i need to talk to him. Carlot and Rachie both think he's cute....:-D....and i definitely agree with them-he's not just cute-he's DAMN fine!!! Anyways....i think that im gonna maybe attempt to clean my room or something like that... Xoxo-steph Current Mood:  amusedCurrent Music: Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy-Big & Rich...great song.... |
| Friday, July 16th, 2004 | |
| 1:34 pm | i hate this... Ok...so yesterday-i was really upset cause STUPID me went to Flushing's high school's website and omg-this place sucks. I hate it here so much!! And yea-i had a REALLY long entry all typed out and the damn computer froze..it pissed me off. And again today-im in one of those moods where i just wanna go back to Flushing and i just remember everything....:-/. i just, i hate it here so much. I had everything i wanted in Flushing. And now, i have like...none of that. And i just kept thinking about everything and being there didn't really help all taht much. Like-we drove past my oldhouse two times...and OMG!!! Ok-my backyard is split up into like...3 sections and there are houses where i used to mow. I used to be on the tractor and pretend i was a bus driver and i drove all back inthe pine trees and stuff.....and now-there are houses there. And the woods that used to be next to our house-cut down and theres another house going up there. And wow....we drove past Seymour too....and the memories came back...especially ones from Santa's workshop-4th grade...i'll never forget that. That was when-grooossssss-andy, and yea...he bought me this hideous Santa hat and Tony bought me this keychain..and i stil lhave it. And Andy-what the hell was i thinking?!? To chose him over TONY-what is that?!? yea-that's me being REALLY stupid! And then...i liked Tony so muchand of course i remember singing My Heart Will Go On and not being able to stop looking at him. I'd always call him when i was upset and id talk to him for hours and hours and id always feel better. And we always had something to talk about too...and when i called him-i didnt even recognize his voice-it was crazy. And just wow...Then of course i had to call him when i found out i had Mr. Schlemmer for 5th grade, and he was the first person i told and i was so excited cause he was in my class. And i remember i was talking to him in the basement. And then, a couple weeks later, i had to call him and tell him i was moving-and of course i was balling my eyes out! And then to be even more stupid-i put in the cancer interview show and started crying even more and he kept telling me that it was ok. Then i remember i called him from Sam's house just after school started, and he called me a fucker and hung up on me. That was the lsat time that i talked to him for like....4 years! And then i wrote him-he's the only person that i wrote to...and i gave him my sn, and then one day he imed me and we talked for a little bit and then i didn't talk to him for like, another year and then again for another year, and now yea...! I dont know-i just.....i miss Flushing so much and everything about it. I miss swimming every day...waking up at frikkin 6:30 to ride our bikes to the pool to swim laps....we were crazy but i loved it so much! that was my life-i lived at the pool! We knew all the lifeguards and we'd always get to stay in the pool between sessions and we'd always go up in their office, we never had to pay to get in, we'd eat lunch with them-just everything. We were so close to all of them! And now..i know...3 of them-and i swam on the team with two of them. I just...wow...i still can't believe how close i was to Mallory. And like-if i were still swimming on a team now-damn. But of course-this shitass town doesn't have a team. We'd rather waste our money on heated sidewalks. What the hell is that?!?! I mean-seriously. I HATE THIS FUCKIN TOWN!!!! I wanna go back to Flushing...i love it there! That's where i wanna live when i grow up-either there or Manistee...i wanna move in with Babbo the summer before my senior year and i wanna get a job there....no-i wanna just live with her my senior year cause really, i have maybe...3 realy close friends from here that id graduate with..in Flushing, i mean sure, i haven't really talked to that many people-but still-id rather just go there. I can't take anymore of this town. It's so shitty and i just-i HATE it. And i hate where we live-i mean-i am SO sick of looking at the same damn thing every single day, of course in Flushing, it's not like the scenery changed-but at least i ccould get outta the house and go into town or to the pool...and even being at home was fine with me. Now-i just can't wait to get away. I miss that place so much and everything about it. My friends were there, my family was there, the pool was there, just everything........ Current Mood: sadCurrent Music: My Heart Will Go On-takin it back to good days in Flushing |
| Thursday, July 15th, 2004 | |
| 9:44 am | Flushing.... So...i went to Flushing Sunday night....fun...i guess. I dunno, we got there and just watched tv and stuff, then went to bed and the next morning i got up and ran to the cemetery and its a long way to run, and i havent ran in like....2 weeks maybe, i dunno, but it was crazy. So anyways, i ran there and i talked to mom for like 10 minutes and then i ran back, then we went and got our hair cut, then went to kohl's and then Feffula went with Ashley to the mall and Babbo and me went to Quizno's for lunch. Then went home, took our nap then got up and i dont even remember, i think we went to get a video. But anyways, then Feffula left later and then we had dinner, and yea..i dunno. But on Tuesday, i got up and ran to the cemetery again-it was sooo hott but i stayed for about 10 minutes again, then i ran back to Babbo's and we did some stuff outside and then had lunch and took our nap, then i drove around for half an hour. Then um...yea, i dunno, we had dinner and watched a movie and went to bed-soemthing like that. So then yesterday, i got up and we went shopping and we came home and had lunch and took our nap. And then i called Tony to see if he wanted to come to the meet and he said he'd call me back cause he didn't know what he was doing. So then Feffula got there...without Carlot-she was supposed to come, but she had a meeting for work and she ouldn't. So then we went to Sorrento's for dinner..it was really good. And then we went back to Babbo's and Feffula checked for messages and she was like...o0o0o0o-your boyfriend called. So i called him back and he said his dad was being a dick and he told him that he was grounded and he had to help put up a ceiling in their basement so he couldn't come. So then i went to the meet and i was like freaking out cause i told Kyle i'd swim back...and ok, i NEVER swam back...and i really didn't want to. But yea, i got there and Kyle's like, swim a 200 warm-up, so i did and then we did some starts. And then i was just like..i dont wanna be here, im gonna suck it up. And Mallory-we used to be really good friends-was like, i still have a picture from your dalmation party......i was like..omg-i remember that. And we were just talking and she was being really nice and i was like omg, im gonna suck and she was like no, you're gonna do better than me and i was like HA-yea right. So then we have to race and so we get im up on the block-which dad made 8 years ago that they STILL have-and i wasn't even nervous-it just felt right to be up there. But anyways, so then Tim shot the gun off and i was in the pool and i was swimming-it was a 50 free and i guess i started off in front of Mallory and i guess the race was like really close but she won by like a couple of seconds. And that's like damn cause she swam year-round with the falcons and on the school team, and i haven't swam in like...3 weeks-maybe more and so i was just a whole bunch suprised. But it was so good to swim again and Kyle was laughing at me caues i coudlnt' get outta the pool-it wasn't cool....but yea, Mrs. Bushong came to watch me too and she was like, oh wow, that was so nice-she's so nice. So then we went back to Babbo's to get our stuff and then i made Feffula drive down River rd cause we were getting ice cream and yea-i just wanted to. And so we were driving and im looking for his house, and she's like, there it is and i didn't see it so she turned around, and then i was like-that's not it, turn around again-so she did and then i saw it and i knew it had to be his house from far away cause there was a truck there and everything. So then we drive by and he was outside!!!!!!!!!!!!! He was out there with his dad getting something outta the truck. And Feffula was like-let's stop and i was like...no-his dad's out there and i didn't wanna get him in trouble or anything. But DAMN-he is so hott...and he's my boyfriend...and just wow!!!!!! So then we go and get ice cream and go back to Tucker to watch the meet and Hannah and J.C.-they're so cute, they're like....9 and yea...they were like-MONSTER and it was just funny and they were like, you have to come back, you have to come back. Then Kyle told me i have to come to practice next week. And then we left and i talked to Carlot on the way home. and yea...! :-D And so then i got home and i told the parents how i did and i came down here and talked to Tony!! :-D And i told him i saw him outside and he said that we should've stopped cause his dad wouldn't have cared and iw as like DAMNIT-i really wish we would've cause yea...but at least i got to see him! And wow! Niiiiiiiiiice! So yea...then he went to bed, and i attempted to go to bed, but of course that didnt' work too well and i couldn't sleep and this morning i kept waking up-it pissed me off! But yea...i dunno, im gonna go unpack or soemthing like that. -steph Shannon-im really glad that things are better!!!!! Current Mood:  sleepyCurrent Music: Disappear-Hoobastank |
| Saturday, July 10th, 2004 | |
| 9:58 am | Yea...:-D Ok...so i really cant sleeep anymore. I went to bed at like....1:30, well that's when i turned off my lights anyways, and i could NOT fall asleep..it must've been at least 2 when i finally did and then i woke up at like...6:15 for no reason at all and i attempted to go back to bed, and i finally fell asleep again, then i woke up at 8:30 and i tried to sleep again, then finally i was like-screw it, im just gonna get up. I dont exactly know why-but i can't! I think it might be because of the fact that for once...reality is better than dreaming. But still---i need to sleep!! And im really tired. I think im gonna take a nap today...if i can sleep that is! But yea..yesterday was a really good day! Tony is so sweet and wow!!! I really wanna see him like really soon cause yea!! And im just happy now...i cant stop smiling which is good!!! And just yea..i dont really know what else to say though cause yea... ok...so last night, we had a bonfire. Rachie, smacks, feffula, and stromer were here. It was'nt really that fun. So i came down here and talked to Tony!! :-D but then i went back out there and then Rachie and me came in, no, we just sat out there with the kikis instaed...they are so cute. And so yea..i think that i am gonna go and do something now maybe... XoXo-steph Current Mood:  happyCurrent Music: Missing You Now-Michael Bolton----HELL YEA!!!wow...im a dork |
| Friday, July 9th, 2004 | |
| 9:51 am | YaY!!!! :-D So...monster's got a boyfriend now. Yea, Tony asked me out last night! :-D So yea!!!!! And oh my goodness..he is extremely sweet and awww!!! And just yea...im really happy now and just yay! And yea...i dunno..im really tired now, cause i couldnt sleep last night and Feffula woke me up at 9:40...i told her too, but damn people called at 9 and i woke up at 7 for no reason and i couldnt' go back to sleep good either times...and it wasn't cool. But whatever...maybe ill take a nap today. Roxi left yesterday, so i was home alone all day cause obviously dad was working and Feffula was too. And so that's how its gonna be again today. I'm gonna have nothing to do though....o-well, maybe ill clean the house. I dunno...butyea..i just thought id let you all know that....im going now so have a good day everybody. XoXo-steph Current Mood: happyCurrent Music: Away to the Heart-Noise Ratchet |