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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
Bridgette's Blurty:
| Sunday, February 24th, 2008 | |
| 10:29 pm |  |
| Monday, August 6th, 2007 | |
| 8:43 pm | Ryan, Almost five months later, and I'm still not okay. Trust me, If I could make it go away, I would in a heartbeat. I was in love with you. L O V E. I know I'm young, but I loved you with every ounce of my being. Maybe that was foolish of me, to put myself into something 100% right off the bat, and put my full trust in you because I thought I knew the kind of person you were, and I never thought you would be capable of causing such hurt, such betrayal. And in the end, I'm still in love with you but still trying desperately to move on and go forward in my life. I'll be leaving in 19 days, and I just keep thinking and hoping that before I leave, you'll stand up, be a man about what you did and just tell me you're sorry and you made a mistake. I just want you to want me back so badly. Because, if you said you wanted to give it another shot, I would. NO matter how fucking stupid that is. I want to believe in you so much! I just want to hear you give me a whole hearted apology. Jason and I are "together" now...but he understands about the way I'm feeling. I find myself being so cautious with him because I AM SCARED. I never want to feel pain like that again. I can't have my world crumble again just yet. I just don't understand why you can't just solve the Jess problem once and for all. SHE IS NOTHING. SHE IS DOING NO GOOD FOR YOU OR ANY OF YOUR RELATIONSHIPS. Soon enough, your new girlfriend is going to get pissed about her calling, TRUST ME. No matter if you cheat on her like you did me...having someone like that in your life is just an accident waiting to happen. |
| Friday, March 30th, 2007 | |
| 6:50 pm | How the fuck can you just walk on by... Like we never loved at all. |
| 6:50 pm | How the fuck can you just walk on by... Like we never loved at all. |
| Sunday, March 18th, 2007 | |
| 3:22 am | "For once my eyes are open to you, and everything you've said. For once your web of lies is in the open. I gave you everything I had, until I had nothing left. Now you act as if I'm just a burden. I've finally let go. Stay silent at least for now, and let me move on. I'm done playing these games with my heart, I've been around the world and back for you, and now its time to choose. I've been swallowed by this wreck that you call your life. I'm damaged from the inside. I've been broken. Don't threaten me with what you think I feel. If you could read my mind you'd be in tears. I'm sick of your excuses you hold above me. I've finally come to terms with what I am. I'm nothing in your eyes, but someday this will change. And I'll close my eyes, and dream of a better time, when I'm finally past this and happy on my own. I've done all I can, and I've still been cast aside. All I ever wanted to be was be the one who would wipe those tears from your eyes. But I guess I'll play second best, to your world of people that will never care about you. When will you understand to them you're nothing but another pretty face? You'll tell me that you care, and then run straight back to her. I can hear your words of treason from a mile away. You never did know how to whisper. You're such a liar. Tell me the truth." This song 1000% says everything I've been needing too. Secret: I'll end up apologizing for it later. |
| Friday, January 5th, 2007 | |
| 11:20 pm |  Secret: I really didn't think you had the guts to do it. |
| Tuesday, October 17th, 2006 | |
| 5:38 pm | |
| Saturday, October 14th, 2006 | |
| 10:30 pm | "Thanks. I really appreciate what happened tonight. It's nice to know that even when I practically beg you not to do something, it doesn't matter what I want, or how its going to make me feel..you do it anyway. I really thought you were serious when you said you wanted my trust back, and that you would do anything to get it back, even stop going out....But then you go and accuse me of trying to make you a "hermit"(that was your exact word wasn't it?). I want to be with you, but most importantly, I want respect because I DERSERVE IT. I deserve to be with someone who won't do things that they KNOW are going to hurt or bother me..and I'm seriously telling you...this is your LAST chance. You really need to grow up. You need to learn how to have a relationship because, I may only be 18, but I have a pretty good understanding of whats right and whats wrong to do in a relationship, and I would have hoped that a 26 year old would too, but I guess not. I don't understand this. I don't understand how you can't even think to apologize on your own. I really want to be with you. I DO. But you are making it SO hard Ryan. I love you, and I want you to love me back. Not just have sex love, not just hang out and have fun love, I want the love where you to think about how I feel, and just think about how your actions are going to affect someone else and not just yourself. Not to pour salt on old wounds, but yes, you did totally destroy my faith and trust in you, and just when I started to get an ounce of it back, you do this. Yes, I have a reason to be upset, and no, I am not overreacting. You really need to step back an evaluate what love is to you and how you treat someone you love, because if it's not the same to you as it is to me...I can't be with you. I just really hope you think about all of this...really think. Please. Goodnight." For once in my life, I stood up for myself...and I'm not going to apologize. |
| Wednesday, September 20th, 2006 | |
| 7:43 pm | guythatfuckedupbigtime (7:39:35 PM): like what....look i fucked up....i'm not just going to lay down and just move on....that's not where my heart is....and what i did to yours......i don't have all the answers to what i did...okay...and i will apologize again for it (i know that doesn't make it go away) but i am not concerned with finding someone else...maybe i don't think that way........i just know i want to start out being the guy i was when we first started hanging out/dating that's what i want I want to go back with him. But no one has EVER hurt me like that before. |
| Thursday, August 3rd, 2006 | |
| 4:50 pm | Holding you in the morning, listening to the rhythm of your breathing. Fulfilling such a need, you're everything to me. Don't worry what people say, let them gossip, let them guess. No one should feel guilty, for finding happiness. |
| Tuesday, August 1st, 2006 | |
| 9:44 pm | Profiles ? mine's xxswissmiss74xx I'm bored! |
| Saturday, July 22nd, 2006 | |
| 9:48 pm | Ok, so my ex BF and broke up about two-three weeks ago.. I went camping with four of my best friends who were all friends with him and we're still freinds with him. We invited him to come camping for a night.. We ended up having sex, cuddling all night and messing around in the morning. I didn't find out until I got home that he has a new gf..and was dating her when we had sex. What am I supposed to do? Like, I don't want to date him..but I feel jealous of her. But then I think..well he can't like her that much because he had sex with me AND he initiated ALL OF IT. I really didn't want to because i thought it would make things weird. I asked him today if we could still hang out sometimes (he lives like 30 mins away) he said it wouldn't be a problem. I'm afraid if we do hang out again we'll end up having sex/kissing/messing around. Secret: I love knowing that two of my ex's can't resist me.. I'm a terrible person. |
| Tuesday, July 4th, 2006 | |
| 12:37 pm | Dear Ryan, We made love in the backseat of your car the other night during the thunderstorm. It was just as I imagined it would be and I still can't believe you chose me. I really like you a lot..and I hope you don't think I'm too foward. It was one of the most amazing expierences in my life. thank you. I'm no longer afraid of thunderstoms.♥♥ |
| Tuesday, June 27th, 2006 | |
| 1:11 pm |  |
| Monday, June 26th, 2006 | |
| 1:00 pm |   |
| Sunday, May 21st, 2006 | |
| 8:46 pm | I had to write and Ode for english class...So i made it to highschool..tell me what you think. High School We can’t wait to get there We can’t wait to get out And we never want it to end The halls are permanent scrapbooks of the boyfriends and breakups Homework and makeups And the love notes we couldn’t bear to throw away The best friends that we’ve made we’ll keep close to our hearts And wonder how we ever let some of them go Everything we’ve worked for comes down to that night in June As we wake up on the first day of the rest of our lives We’ll think back and wonder how time went by so quickly How we couldn’t wait to grow up How time could never seem to go fast enough And now all we want is for time to stop, or at least slow down a little bit It’s too fast The time is winding down as we try to make as many memories as we can We’ll think back to a time when things were simple When we had all the time in the world to be carefree and fun And not worry about acceptance letters, SAT scores Or how far away your best friends college is High School We’ve learned lessons not taught by teachers And started to discover who we are High School You’ve taught me so much I’ve learned to keep those I cherish close to my heart And that you can never say I love you enough Because you never know if it will be the last time you see someone I’ve learned the hard way how truly precious life is And how quickly it can be taken away My scars will always serve as a witness of those who’ve hurt me And how weak I am when it comes to coping I’ve learned how cruel some people can be And how truly alone really feels I’ve come to learn that the one you love and the one who loves you Are never, ever the same person And you never forget your first love, no matter how brief it may have been I’ve learned what the wrong kind of love is And even someone you’ve been friends with for years will pick a girlfriend over you I’ve learned I can give my whole heart to someone and have them throw it away, And break it into a thousand tiny pieces But with the help of my Best’s, I’ll always be okay I now know what true friends are, and know how lucky I am to have found mine I’ve learned that now matter how far apart we are There’s no place any of us would rather be than together at Denny’s There is so much I’ve learned, I could fill every line, page upon page But there’s one thing I know and I know it for sure High School Because of you we have all been changed. |
| Wednesday, April 26th, 2006 | |
| 7:22 pm | I bought Trimspa yesterday...anyone know if it works? |
| Sunday, January 29th, 2006 | |
| 2:14 pm |  I wish to feel smaller under your hands. |
| Saturday, January 28th, 2006 | |
| 10:32 pm | My ex boyfreind and I used to have sex at Chimney Rocks, It's like a park, with big rocks. We did it in various palces throughout the park [picnic tables..In the bathroom..by a telephone pole...a bench] We were crazy. |
| Thursday, January 26th, 2006 | |
| 8:13 pm | You make me shake 'til I can't stand, I want to feel you again.. Gosh boy, I love you so much. |