User Profile Friends Calendar

Below are the 25 most recent journal entries.

	2004.04.07  13.00 well i have decided i might as well date this one hot guy even though i miss loui, maybe it will help me get over the ass hole. lol. o well. im just hurt and feel used thats all. but hey, i did break up with him. anywayz....boyfriends come and go.

	2004.03.31  12.52 i broke up with loui friday cuz i was in a bad mood. i told him sorry. i miss him alot. but i found out that we left mcdonalds last week and he went back after he dropped me off and put his number on jessica kings car. o well. i dont need him. but i do miss him. and yeah i prolly would take him back if he forgave me for breaking up with him. but right now im just really hurt. we even hung out saturday and he said he would call me sunday or just come by and he never did. his loss. the funny thing is that i didnbt even like him in the beginning then i started to fall for him and he just drifted away.......

	2003.08.07  22.36 Hey everyone! I am bout to go to bed and I am soooo sleepy...sorta...but I am tryin to tell myself that because I have to wake up early. At 9:30! LOL. Ha Ha. I talked to Amanda today. I miss her. I wish we were still best friends, but hey, I think we have each grown alot. I hope we can patch things up. I really do. I dont hang with many girls and my mom is gettin worried I think. I think my mom is startin to wonder why I only hang with guys. But ya know alot of girls dont like me just because....I dunno why. Must be because all there boyfriends like my boobs. LOL. (Change subject) I know I know. I said I am over Mike but I have a plan....I think I want him back. I just wanna give it a try. One more time. Just once. I know he still loves me. I mean. You cant just forget about someones kiss in a week can you? NO! You cant. Thats why I am going to hopefully talk to him one day this week. But for now I am just giving us time not talking. Dont worry. Guys always come back missing you. Remember, guys want what they CANT have. he he. Well I betta go. Luv everyone! Mood: groggy

	2003.08.06  20.46 The Heart Of Worship (When The Music Fades) Verse 1 When the music fades All is stripped away And I simply come Longing just to bring Something that's of worth That will bless your heart Bridge I'll bring You more than a song For a song in itself Is not what You have required You search much deeper within Through the way things appear You're looking into my heart Chorus I'm coming back to the heart of worhip And it's all about You It's all about You, Jesus I'm sorry, Lord, for the thing I've made it When it's all about You It's all about You, Jesus Verse 2 King of endless worth No one could express How much you deserve Though I'm weak and poor All I have is yours Every single breath *Bridge* *Chorus* *Chorus* I'll bring you more than a song I'll bring you more than a song More than a song I'll bring you more than a song I'll bring you more than a song You're looking into my heart Looking into my heart You're looking into my heart Into my heart I'll bring you more than a song I'll bring you more than a song I'll bring you more than a song I'll bring you more than a song ~~~~This is a song that means alot to me~~~~ I wish I had someone to go to church wit. Ya know.~~~~ Mood: creative

	2003.08.06  20.38 I was lookin at my girl Amandas journal and she was talkin bout how she cares about her future and stuff and OMG she thinks the same way I do. Thats so cool. I am happy for her.

	2003.08.06  15.40 Guess what everybody! I start working at Kmart Friday! Woo Hoo!!!!! Anywayz.....Mike text me last night and said whats up buddy. And then he just text me and said Why are u telling people I am talkin to Xiomy?I wish he would stop Texting me. I hope he knows I hate his dumb ass. He needs to grow up and get a life. Anywayz Im happy. Bye.

	2003.08.06  08.18 LJ Barcode LJ username: Mood: nervous

	2003.08.06  08.05 OMG. Guess who text me last night...Mike. But even if I had minutes I wouldnt have text him back........I am goin to write inmy other journal for this..........ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Mood: aggravated

	2003.08.05  22.32 Today I made a new journal for all my really personal thoughts. Good luck finding it. LOL.

	2003.08.05  15.55 Yeah Yeah Yeah! Guess what! I have an interview for Kmart in the morning at 11! Wish me luck! he he. I am so excited! Yipee. I need a job sooooo bad. I need some money! I am freezin my booty off. My parents keep this house soooo cold! Well I am goin to go chill outside where its warm. Bye.

	2003.08.05  14.37 My life is pretty much great right now. I am all set. I think I need to start being serious about my life decisions. I mean I am going to Greentree Nursing Academy and then I am going to college. In January I will be gettin my DL's and a car soooo.....I can have my own good life. Enough of this highschool dating and drama. I need a wiser guy who can support me and has a good job! I dont want no lazy guy who is a bum. I deserve a good man. Cuz I am worth more than some dumb highschool guy. I need to have my own life. I am done with highschool. I am gettin too old for this stuff. LOL. Well I have to call Taco Bell Thursday. eekkkssss....I need a job! Well I am outtie. Buh Bye.

	2003.08.05  11.35 Today is Marilyn Monroes death anniversary! :( I miss her. We need a women role model like that for girls nowadays. We arent hoes or bitches! We are women! Yeah!

	2003.08.02  15.13 Okay so maybe last night I went a little crazy. But damn. It felt good. I felt so free and nothing bothered me. Nothing bothers me now either. Yipee. I only drank a 2 40ths of bicardi and smirnoff. But me and Sharee shared em. She is my girl. We supposed to hang out tonight. She is tight as hell. She cool too. She mess wit Pats brother. It is so muggy out today! Well I am gonna split. Bye yall.oh yeah.....and Mike said he still wants me to suck his dick on the weekends. LOL. He is so goofy! But he is my dude! He tight. I told him he should start bein a playa. Ha Ha. He said he is a pimp and Im his ho. I think he really doesnt like me and he just likes my good head.....HA HA HA HA. Oh well! I just am gonna use him til somethin new cums up......................."my neck,my back lick my pussy and my crack......." I feel so good! ha ha.

	2003.07.30  03.04 Its 3am. I cant sleep. I just keep thinking......over and over again. When will this end? So Mike is ignoring me now. And told me to move on. And then I found out today that he has been messin with Sarah all summer too! So I guess everything he ever said to me was a lie. I told him in the beginning I didnt want to get close to him cuz I didnt want to get hurt. He said he wouldnt hurt me. Well I guess I learned one thing from him. Never let a guy get close to you and you wont get hurt. I dont think I will ever let anyone in my heart. I am at the point now I dont even want to get married anymore. What is wrong with me? Why am I so dumb. I knew he didnt love me. I just wished he did like he said. And he made me happy.

	2003.07.24  14.05 My Birthday was yesterday! Yipee! ha ha. I got my temps! Yeah! Rachel spent the night last night too. My mom went to Kentucky this morning. But she comes back tomorrow. And then tomorrow my sis is comin over. Then Saturday I am supposed to go to the Dayton Mall to go clothes shoppin for my birthday. Yipee. I need some jeans. LOL. Well I am goin to have a busy week. I miss Mike right now. I didnt get to see him yesterday. :(......I miss him sooooo much. I hope he misses me too. Well I am going to go look online for something interesting to do. I love you guys and Mike. he he. Bye. Mood: hopeful

	2003.07.22  23.44 Okay. This is so hard for me to say. I love Mike. Yes. Its true. I actually think I love the boy. Omg. I have never ever told a guy I loved him. But tonight when we were together well he said,"I love you". And then I told him not to be sayin that because I know he doesnt mean it. He told me that he did mean it. And I didnt say anything. I was speechless. No, I was scared. I am still scared. I didnt know what to say. Cuz I wasnt sure if I loved him or not. Then my heart started pounding and I was almost in tears and then I looked up at him and said," I love you too." Mood: dorky

	2003.07.20  13.38 OMG. My jeans are soooo tight! Ugh. Oh well. I am happy with my body. I just have to deal with it. You should be happy with who you are, right? Right. Last night I saw a movie called Phone Booth. Talk about a good movie! Ekkks. I am listening to country today. Dont ask me why. I have no clue. Mike still hasnt called. Oh well. Forget it. I give up ontryin to make us work. And once again he will prolly have some exscuse like..."Oh well you were supposed to call me." Well ya know what. If he really cared he would call me anywayz. But I dont care. Well I am going to go now and find something interesting to do online. Bye Yall! Yee Haw!!! Mood: frisky Music: Country Station

	2003.07.19  13.24 La La La........Ya know what. I want a whole new life. I want all new friends. So after this Summer, I am going to make a new best friend, not that I dont love Rachel is just that well we are going in two different directions. Seriously. I mean dont get me wrong I do like her but she is just turning into a BIG hypocrit. And I dont ever brag about anything. Just because I try to be happy with myself and ya know what, I am. And I love myself. And I dont care if anyone calls that conceited. Cuz its not. Its just being confident about yourself. Ya know its kinda funny how everyone talks about how they want you to be happy and then when you are they talk shit about you. And I dont care if Rachel thinks that way. Ya know why? Cuz I am a great person. I know I am. This is my life and I will do what I want with it. And Im not going to let some ex-slut hypocrit ruin it. I mean I know those are harsh words but she knows nothing about me. I was actually going to tell her cuz I thought she would understand in confidentiallity. But then when I read her journal I realized I cant tell her things. I have never opened up to anyone and I was actually going to tell her. Oh well. Not that she would care anywayz. Maybe I was wrong to get close to her. I love hanging out with her and I thought we were going to be best friends forever but this is much deeper. What she wrote about me in her journal was mean and cruel and I thought her boyfriend was God now. She needs help. And I was going to spend time with her on my birthday but now I dunno. I dunno if I can spend time with someone who talks shit. Ya know I would listen to her about her life. But I dont even care now. She was my Best Friend but now she has just gone down to just a friend I talk to here and there. I would rather be friends with Chris than her right now. I mean and I know how she is. She will call someone and be all like..."omg....me and cara are fighting right now b/c"...omg....i hate that. That is sooooo annoying. And it really hurts me cuz I thought she was changing. I mean she broke up with Ben and then now she wants to "talk or flirt" with his friend Jeremy. That is wrong of her. I was actually talking good about her and how much she was changing but really shes not changing. She is just...I dont even know anymore. When we talk to Steph she is a good girl and when we dont its like she is a whole new person. I dont even want Rachel talking to me anymore I dont think. I am tired of being hurt by her unessecary and harsh words of what she thinks is wisdom but isnt. I know we will still be friends but right now I dont even care. I dont even care about what she said about me cuz ya know what....I love myself. And I am great. And I deserve the best. And she needs to stop taking shit about me and Mike. I like him and I dont give a FuCk wat she fuckin thinks! She needs to grow up. And get a damn life. Maybe thats it. Maybe she is too inmature to be my friend. Maybe thats it. I deserve a better friend than her. She is a sucky friend. She knows I listen to her all the time and even though she doesnt think that I do. I mean I try to give her advice. She does not listen to me. So I give up. I am great. I love me. So wat? I am so happy. I dont even care that she wrote stuff about me. Cuz nothing she says matters to me anymore. Mood: hyper Music: n/a

	2003.07.18  23.52 I just got out of the shower, I smell of Baby Powder and the peach shampoo in my hair. I am wearing my white underwear with the blue pastel flowers on them with a little blue bow on the front. And my baby blue bra which feels like lacy silk. With that I wear my plaid pajama bottoms which when I sit down show my ankels. And my red shirt which when I wear you would think of me as a bum. Not a woman. I am a woman. And I am proud of who I am. I have everything in the world. Friends, a job, family, and icee's which I get from the little store on the corner of my street. And my home which when I wake up in the morning smells of the pancakes my dad makes in the morning. My dad is always cooking. And the day never ends without my mom bitching at me about some dumbass thing. So pretty much my life is Great. Although sometimes I may say its not it is. Cuz without all the assholes and hard times I had when I was little. The going with no heat in the Winter in are little trailer. Or going to court for some stupid thing my dad did. What I am trying to say is I like to keep my life private or atleast I try to. See everyone thinks I have a big mouth but really I dont. You dont know anything about me. The stuff I tell people thats like an ant compared to the stuff that went on in my life when I was growing up. Which the stuff in my life, well compared to that ant its a dragon. There is so much I dont tell people. And dont want to. And if they were to ask me about something they read in a newspaper. I would still deny it. Because there are just some things I cant let people know. Especially if it is about "Though who not be named". I hate him. He is the Biggest scum on earth. How could he do those things to my aunt and uncle?! I know I was only 7 then but what a sicko. How could he?! Selling children is wrong! He is not my family! At all! I only have 2 grandpas, my papaw Thom and papaw Larry. And "Though who not be named" is not one of them. Thats why when I get out of highschool I am out of here. Middletown is a bad place. And you dont know it until you have been in it. "Taylor" is a bad name around here. People my age dont realize it but it is. Prolly cuz the bad events happened when I was little. But it was on the news and everything but I guess everything passes. But with all this out I must continue my venture in life. I have so much more to learn and too much I know already. I love the world. And hope it loves me back. Mood: determined Music: n/a

	2003.07.18  17.14 ~~~$Questionaire$~~~ x. you have a crush on someone? yeah x. uwish you could live somewhere else? yeah x. you think about suicide = sometimes x. you believe in online dating = yes x. others find you attractive = i hope x. you want more piercings = no x. you want more tattoos = no but if i ever got one it would be a rose on my back x. you drink = no x. you like the taste of alchohol=yuck yuck. x. you do drugs =noooo x. you smoke =yucky smelly no x. you like cleaning = yes x. you like roller coasters = yes yes yes!!!!! x. you write in cursive or print = cursive x. you carry a donor card = no x. you sleep with stuffed animals= only if they r named mike....lol x. you remeber ur first love= dont have one x. you read the newspaper= no x. you have any gay friends=yes....rachel....j/p x. you have any straight friends= yeah x. you go to church= nopers x. you wear hats= not at all x. you talk to strangers= ummm....nope x. you collect anything= myself....lol x. you like ur handwriting= no x. you believe in god= I am egnostic x. you believe in witches= yes x. you believe in satan= yes x. you believe in ghosts= yes ~~~for or against~~~ x. long distance relationships = for x. using someone = against x. suicide = against but can understand x. killing people = against x. teenage smoking = against x. doing drugs = against x. premarital sex = for x. driving drunk = against x. gay/lesbian relationships = im not lesi but i dont mind other people doing it. x. soap operas =for ~~~faves..~~~ x. food = anything with cheese x. song = anything selena x. thing to do = flirt x. thing to talk about = guys x. sports = yuck x. drinks = diet coke x. clothes = dressy x. movies = Anything on Lifetime!!! x. band = too many to name.....ummm.....No Doubt x. holiday =Hmmmmm......My Birthday. LOL x. cars = red Tracker ~~~have you...~~~ x. ever cried over a girl = yeah x. ever cried over a boy = all the time x. ever lied to someone = yeah x. ever been in a fist fight =ha ha.....yep x. ever been arrested = for me to know and you not to know x. shampoo do you use = Pert Plus x. perfume do you use =American Original or AE citrus x. shoes do you wear = Match with my outfits x. are you scared of = girls....LOL. ~~~number...~~~ x. of times I have been in love? = none x. of times I have had my heart broken? = ha....1 x. of hearts I have broken? =not many. x. of boys I have kissed? =u dont wanna know. x. of girls I have kissed? = 3..........ha ha ha ha x. of men I've slept with? = 1 x. of girls I've slept with? = hmmmmmm.......rachel........lol......just playin x. of continents I have lived in? = 1 x. of drugs taken illegally? = 0 x. of people I consider my enemies? =everyone. x. of people from high school that I stayed in contact with? = dunno x. of cd's that I own? = dont feel like counting x. of times my name has appeared in the newspaper? = alot x. of scars on my body? = alot x. of things in my past that I regret? = life.....lol. ~~~Current..~~~ x. dress: black shorts and a purple tee x. mood: bored x. make-up: everything x. music: watching Lifetime x. taste: you......ha ha. x. hair: pony tail x. annoyance: My parents x. smell: cheese x. thought:I am tired of sitting at home. x. book: You actually think I read? LOL x. fingernails: clear x. refreshment: Diet Coke x. worry: Michael ~~~Who do you want to...~~~ x.Kill: noone x. slap: Rachel for wanting Scott!!!!!!!! urghhhhhhhhhh. x. tickle: Noone x. have sex with: Michael

	2003.07.18  11.07 Good Morning Journal! Last night I didnt talk to Mike....His mom said he wasnt home! So where was he??!! hmmm....o well. I am prolly going to lay out today. And just chill lik eeveryday. I cant wait til Wednesday!!! My Birthday!!! Yipee!!!!!! I am just going to Olive Garden and I want to go shopping and I will prolly go to the movies. Yeah Yeah. And get some unknown hott guy to go with me. LOL. My mom woke me up AGAIN this morning! My goodness. LOL. Well I am going to go get my bathing suit on. Bye Yall. Mood: lazy

	2003.07.17  18.03 ~~~dad~~~ well.dad.i dunnoe whether i love you anymore. i am really ashamed to say that. but it's just ... you...that i dislike. you've never really done much for me compared to all the great things mom has done for moi.. it's just so awkward. you're the most annoying living thing on earth. but i know if i look thru myself clear and long enuff..i know there's some love in me still left for you daddy... you make me cry. you make everyone cry. especially mom. why do u do that? WHY? i just dont geddit. you're making yer own family, yer flesh and blood, suffer in order just to fulfill yer pathetic needs.sheesh. but like i said earlier..i knoe there's a dying fire that might light up lively again for you...sowwie dad. $~*@alone in my room@*~$ Mood: aggravated Music: n/a

	2003.07.17  02.29 Mike came and saw me tonight. :)....We are supposed to hang out tomorrow. I dunno how I feel right now. Chris is always sayin how I am fat. Even though they think I dont know he says that I do. I have heard him say it behind my back. That really hurts me alot. Thats why I feel so insecure when Im with Mike now. I dont want him to be embarrased to be seen with a "fat girl." I know Im thick but I dont deserve that. But I truly like Mike with all my heart. And care for him deeply. Tonight we were just chillin and all the sudden he started sayin how we are gonna be together forever. LOL. He was just playin though. I dunno how I feel about all this. I guess I will have to get back to yall bout this at some other time. Well I am going to go. Bye Yall.Much love. Mood: discontent Music: n/a

	2003.07.16  21.01 Hey Everyone! I am turning into a Blurty Freak! Thats all I do is join communities and post now! I did ALL DAY!!! Well anywayz....Mike called me last night at 10! And here I was thinkin he foregot to call me back! My mom just told me he called. Oh well. He will call again. He always does and like always I want him even more everyday. I am so freakin bored! OMG. I ate alot today and my mom just ordered pizza!!!! OMG. Why are my parents trying to make me FAT?!?!?! I am in a funny mood. LaLaLaLa. I exercised today. I did alot of crunchies. LOL. Today was a boring day though. Me and my mom went out to lunch. Thats bout all that happened. OMG. I am watching this really sad sad sad movie on Lifetime. Omg. Its sad.(Tear) Well I will write lata. Bye Babes! Mood: crazy Music: n/a

	2003.07.15  11.12 Last night I told myself I wasnt going to talk to Mike but.....he text me and said "Wats Up?" Well I dont have minutes so I called him and told him. Then I was like...." How come you never called me?" And he said....."You were supposed to call me." I was lke whatever. And then he said he was goin to call me today and I was like yeah whatever I will talk to you in about a week. LOL. I was mean to him but oh well. Ambers battery in her car went out so we couldnt go to the mall. Oh well. OMG. Rachel is talkin to this guy named Ben right, Right. Well he has a friend and he has been IMing me. He is sooooooo hott!!! OMG. His name is Jeremy. I have only talked to him online once but OMG. He is way hotter than any M-Town guy I have ever met.LOL. He said I am a cutie too. But I think all guys think a girl is cute as long as they are normal. LOL. But hopefully I will get to know him a little better. LOL. Whoa Baby! he he. Hmmmm....See I knew this Ben guy was a good idea. LOL. Forget Mike. (That was mean) Oh well. I dont care. Buh Bye! Mood: giggly Music: n/a