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Wednesday, January 21st, 2004

    Time Event
    8:12a
    Confused
    i'm sitting here doing absolutly nothing in a computer class i'm taking wishing i had some jams to listen too...oh well...me and my ex-g/f that I screwed over in GA is accually talking again...it's kinda cool...but things just don't seem the same...maybe it would be because of the fact that i cheated on her...but she cheated on me first dammit...i guess that's no excuse...but whatever. People change too much...they change so much and so fast that i can't see the change right in front of my very eyes...and i can't tell who they are anymore...one of my friends in the states said that change is inevitable...but why so fast...i guess it's human nature to want to excel faster than the other. Change in my opinoin is a good thing...but why in such a way that it would contradict what they once beleived in...why would a person who said once had me believing that he accually cared for some of the girls he went out with...then discard them and get on with his life like nothing happened right after his sexual interest for that person has faded. Me saying this does kinda cotradict myself and what i beleive in...being a satanist we beleive that the appetites of the flesh are something to embrace...and do some of these people take full advantage, but hurting people in the process is unexcusable...i think most people would agree with me. It's one thing have a quick fuck with some one...but it's another thing to go out with them and have them build up there emotion's towards you and shatter that dream of a further going relationship like and old rusty mirror. Some people don't take me seriously over here...the reason is that in the past i've been so "understanding" on what is going on with people...but i'm tired of understanding...i'm tired of listening...i'm tired of hearing all this stupid bullshit about "i love her"...then the next minute swear to god that he was gonna kill her...Most relationships that i've notice are based on pure sexual attraction...how do i know..because he only like's her when they talk dirty...other than that there always fighting about why she kissed another guy...YOUR NOT EVEN GOING OUT!!!! They just need to make up there mind...no one really know's what they want anymore these days...ahh...the complexity of a society based on never ending change. My mindless ranting will stop now.

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