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Monday, March 17th, 2003
5:52a - School BLOWS...
It's 5:52. In the morning.. I'm going to school to pitch a bitch about them cancelling the trip.. I swear to god.. nomatter what it is, anything good that might happen to me.. gets cancelled. it's so gay!!!! Whatever..

I'm going to school pissed off beyond reckoning. Everyone can die today. I need real friends.


- Aud

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5:55p - Lonely-pains.
I kinda somehow stumbled across Chris' journal.. I know I shouldn't snoop, cuz I'd just be asking 2 get hurt, but I started getting kinda teary.. I remember some good times we had.. and I cant help but think "what if" you know.. "what if i hadn't said this.. would he still be around?".. and then I get depressed. I don't know how long this liking him is going to go on.. god.. it's about time I let go. Grr. It's majorly pissing me off that I can't let go.. I've let go most of it.. but.. there's still that little string that keeps me connected. I think he's already tried to cut it loose, but it's still there.. Chris-tuh-fuck-me.. agh.. I can remember so many fun things we talked about.. Fun times we had.. I really miss him, and how we were. We barely talk now.. and I feel like I've kinda just faded into the background with him.. but it's alright, you know.. it wasn't like one of us just decided to let go.. it was a mutual thing.. it just fell apart slowly.. even though im still wanting more from him. i just want to be a leech, and just suck the pain away from him.. break down all his walls so he'd look at me like he did a long time ago..i wouldn't mind having all his pain, and i'm not saying i understand every little thing about him, because first of all, he wouldn't tell me every intimate detail.. and secondly, it's not my business anyway. he says when ppl tell him to smile and shit, it makes him upset, well yeah, i can TOTALLY understand that, because i know how annoying it is to be just fucking tired and not want to have to be happy or put on a front for any fucking body. chris just needs to see, that if i've been around this long, i'm obviously not going far.. if i go anywhere that is.

~ Barbie's Cunt






My fat tummmmy.. rumbly tumbly bumbly!


current mood: confused
current music: Road To Recovery -- Rufio

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9:30p - Funny convo.
x br0k3n dream x: prickwad.
x br0k3n dream x: :P
x br0k3n dream x: lmfao.
Adrias Darklight: umm
Adrias Darklight: wtf is a prickwad?
x br0k3n dream x: you wad of prick!
x br0k3n dream x: golly jeepers.

aha. I'm delerious. Goin' to bed now.

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