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[30 Jun 2003|10:00pm]
I wish I never have to feel again. I wish this would all just go the fuck away.

I can't stand people and their games.

Honestly, I really want to live by myfuckingself. No. I want to live with a boy who loves me as much as I love him. And that's it. Maybe a few dogs or fish...

I don't want to be upset at someone. I love how when people say, oh soandso is my best friend, I think to myself. I can only name 1 friend. If even that. I don't have many people I can talk about what's going on with me. That's why I have this journal. If I don't have someone to talk to, then I'll find someplace. This place will have to do until I figure out me.
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[28 Jan 2003|10:59am]
I feel like crap.

And I don't know why.

I never use this. Sorry.

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[26 Dec 2002|10:12am]

Merry Christmas.

I wish I could be satisfied. It seems like nothing ever is as good as I want it/would like it to be. I had a really nice Christmas. I got a new computer. :) And lots of other stuff like $50 bucks to Media Play. But literally, I made a Christmas list, and it had 3 cds on it and new shoes. Didn't get any of it.

However, I shouldn't be bitching. Nope. I should be glad I have family I can celebrate a holiday with, and food on the table, and that I can walk on my own two feet.
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[23 Dec 2002|01:11pm]
Kate got me the best gift, ever! A gift certificate to Barnes and Nobles and a bookmark. It's so pretty. She knew exactly what I really wanted. I will be forever greatful for her.

It's funny that 2 days before Christmas, I know exactly what I want. I want books or gift certificate to a bookstore, headbands, a few cds, and new sneakers.
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[22 Dec 2002|06:31pm]
Some kid on LJ asked for my sn and told me "I'm really interesting." Hmm.

I guess I just don't accept that kind of praise. Plus, I don't really like talking to people I don't even know. It's a little freaky. I'm finally glad I can say exactly what I want here and not have to worry about people I don't want seeing/reading it. The chains have been broken! :D

Both Kelli and Beth have been scaring me lately. Maybe I was just too naive to realize that things like that don't work out. They never do. :( I wish them the best of luck in the future. I guess that's all I can do, right?

I saw LOTR:TTT today. It was badass. I loved it. I seriously want that pendant that Aragorn wore. It's $100. But I want it. Real bad. God, I sound like I'm 5 again.
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[21 Dec 2002|07:24pm]
Finally! My shopping is done! :D

I'm so glad that I don't have practice for 4 days. I'm so exhausted it isn't even funny. My face looks like crap from all the stress I've had, which isn't good.

I think I'm going to mess around with my layout for a while.
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[20 Dec 2002|10:50pm]

i love how this is like LJ but I'm an Early Adopter. Wooo.


I feel like everyone is having sex, except me. But like that's a big deal to me, but when people tell me I should go on the pill before I even have a boyfriend is a smart move because then my parents would think it's for my period. :( Why lie? I don't understand. If you're not responsible to tell your parents you need to go on the pill, and need to lie about it... I don't know.

I guess I will always be a good little girl.
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