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Tuesday, May 3rd, 2005
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10:41a - we all fall down
I want so bad to be able to be myself. To keep my choir sense of humor. I kid around a lot...and everybody knows it. But today I might have taken it too far, and now Jon is upset.
And I don;t know why he lies to me and tells me he's ok. That he's not mad. Does he think I'm fucking stupid? Guess what baby? I'm not. I can see right through you. And you say you don't want to make me cry...well I do that. It's who I am. I show my emotions all the time. If I'm sad, I cry. If I'm happy, I laugh. That's the way it is. Don't do me any favors and lie to my face, and tell yourself it's for the best.
He has the right to be mad I suppose. Me and Ben joked and he got hurt. Sometimes I hate how jealous he is. When I kid he takes it seriously. If he really truly thinks that I'm going to do any sort of anything with any other man, then he needs to get over it. Have a little bit of confidence. Have some fucking trust.
I'm in a really crappy mood right now. And I'm fighting back some serious tears, cuz I refuse to cry infront of him. He wants me to be strong, then fine. If that's what he wants, then thats what he'll get. I'll leave him alone. The real Christine would beg for his forgiveness. But he doesn't want her anymore.
He wants to be serious then fine. He wants to be pissed. fine.
If this is going to keep happening...then he needs to find somebody else that better suits his mood, and stop wasting my time. The real Christine would never have said that. And neither would I....but I already said it. It's the crappy mood talking.
I'm sorry.
~Chris~
current mood:  frustrated (comment on this)
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11:27p - the clear up
I didn't get a chance to say all of the things I wanted to...which is a good thing. It just sort of went away.
All is good now. I am once again amazingly happy.
I found sumthin out though...
The two of you are very different! Capricorn approaches life in a much more methodical, planned, patient manner than Gemini. Capricorn uses a clear strategy and is willing to work hard for many long years to gradually achieve the intended goal. Capricorn is capable of great reliability and dedication, and will, for example, be willing to work through years of school until the desired degree is achieved, or work through a business or government hierarchy until a top position is achieved. Gemini may also be successful, but the route is very different.
Gemini succeeds through curiosity, flexibility and adaptability, and communication skills. Unlike Capricorn, Gemini is not inclined to persevere through the dry periods but rather moves on to more interesting material once a point of stagnation is reached. Both approaches can work, but they are different, and you may reach points in your lives where you cannot come to an agreement on the proper path to take.
Capricorn often seems like the adult in the relationship and can feel too conservative or serious to Gemini. Gemini is more like the child (or adolescent), being more flexible and playful but also less reliable and consistent.
He he he. Who knew!
~Chris~
current mood:  satisfied (1 comment |comment on this)
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