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Monday, March 7th, 2005
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12:17p - real world shit
I can't keep this to myself for too long. Even though it just happened...
I have filed a Protective Order against Steven. It's like a restraining order...but much more severe. One files this when they fear for their lives. He will be notified in 5-7 days. He was to go to court. I have to go to. Jon will be made to testify as a witness. Steven will be tried as an adult. This is real world shit.
As far as the "why"? Me and Jon left the Blockbuster Video, only to find Steven and Monica waiting by our car. Monica told me everything is my fault. All this started when I came into the picture. When I got with Jon.
Steven was arrested by the ISD police on Friday. He blew up at some teachers or something, and became hostile. He went to jail. I don't know for how long.
They blame me for that. His little sister, who I adore, blames me for everything now. She says he was under so much stress because I drove everybody away from him.
He lost most of his friends. Chuey, tiff, Atlee. To name a few. He says they left because of me. Because I ruined everything. He told me he was going to make Jon pay for this. Pay. That his matter with Jon is purely physical....with me....it is mental.
"I just want to get inside your head...and fuck you uo"
I can still hear him say that. He told me I was a slut, jumping from guy to guy. How they were all his friends, and he doesn't find it a coincidence. How he's been to jail, and he's not afraid to go back. That he doesn't have a record now...so he's not scared.
He told me I need to leave...and it will stop. I need to go away, and it will all get better. That Jon will be fine without me. That all he keeps me around for is a good BJ. That he sees me as property...not as a love. That I am only his prize...something he can show off. He repeated that over and over.
His plan was to get inside my head. Scare me. Get me to believe him. A psycho using psychology. Nice. He went on a rant. And I sat in the car shaking....staring at him through the window.
He said it won't stop until I leave. Monica agrees.
"Babygirl.......you just need to go. Just go"
After it was all over...I freaked. I went home and just screamed for my mom. We called the police. It was just crazy. I threw up all night. I fear for my life, and the lives of my loved ones.
So I did what I could. I pressed charges. Because this needs to stop. Only, I fear this could make things worse.
It could.
It might.
And Jon. My love. I apologize for the drama I brought to the table. A girlfriend shouldn't be worth this trouble. But then again....we'd risk it for love right? I still have you. You promised to take care of me and my family...and you have. I love you baby.
All of this needs to stop.
It might.
This is real world shit. I'm not ready for this...but it's too late. I've already testified. I was sworn in. I signed on the dotted line. I gave Steven something else to put on his record.
Steve.....you have no idea who you fucked with.
~Chris~
current mood:  confused (5 comments |comment on this)
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