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Monday, January 3rd, 2005
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11:15p - the year of the rooster
Ok...I have no resolutions. I end up breaking them anyways, so I see no point. If something needs change then so be it...but I won't alter things just cuz the date changed.
So what has been going on?
Things are going really well. I have my license now, so I drive as much as possible. I signed up at the Athletic Club to stay fit and toned...NOT to lose weight y'all. I was fired, so now I get to do the things I was missing out on. Things with Jon are amazing. I got to Jazz Band concert coming up. Ruben's back on my mind, and it bothers me.
Lemme elaborate that last one. Y'all know how I used to feel about him. And, right in the middle of those feelings, me and Jon were getting closer and closer. I realized Ruben was no use. I realized I had a good thing staring me in the face. So I got with Jon, and I pushed the feelings for Ruben away. But, I'm afraid I pushed them deep inside rather then out. And he wants me back, but it's way to late. And we were there infront of my car, and he tried to get me to admit that I still want him. And, I don't, and even if I did I wouldn't admit it.
I know who I love. And I will never hurt that person. Even if it means forgetting what could have been. I will forget those feelings for him, because Jon deserves more.
'Ben, we had bad timing.
I won't ruin things with Jon. I love him too much. I respect him. It's funny sometimes, when you look back. I never would have pictured us together. I never would have thought I could get over steven. I never would have thought I could be this happy.
~Chris~
current mood:  calm
current music: Slipknot - Duality (comment on this)
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