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graves of the past [09 Feb 2004|09:26pm]
[ mood | calm ]
[ music | dark but lovely ]

hey...sorry it has been so long...
well i went to the funeral in milwaulkee and it was as good as a funeral can be. we were able to find some comfort in the fact that matt did turn back to God in the last few weeks of his life. i don't think it really all caught up with me until yesterday. it was so hectic going and doing it all and then being at the funeral...you feel as though you have to be strong....atleast me. i have a hard time letting emotion like that out infront of people. but yesterday we flew all day....i had been going since 6:45 and then i got home and went straight from the airport to church. i haven't been in about two weeks and the weight of the weekend was still churning in me when i got there. i really just sat there and tried to keep from falling asleep at first. but then they started to pray for people that were sick and such....and for some reason all the emotion i had held back came...i started to cry...quietly at first....but i knew i had to get out of there. so i turned around and walked out of the door. i just kept walking. the street was perfectly clear....so i crossed over and walked up to my graveyard. it is this old hidden graveyard...the stones are faded and some broken.....but it is place of comfort for me. the sun was not yet setting but was golden and low. there was so much peace...i just walked and cried. unfortunately everyone and their brother followed me...becuase i had walked up there....so that kind of killed it and cut me off short. so i have a feeling that some of that is still in me...it isn't all out yet...but it will come out at the right time. wisconsin weather was beautiful. the snow was everywhere and the icicles were huge! i love ice....so beautiful yet deadly. i wanted to run and roll down a snow covered hill...and ride the snow mobiles with everyone....but that didn't happen. i had a nice time with my relatives to. it is the last time i will see them before i leave....and i found a place to live in new york if i go! yay!! well 10 days till everyone comes! peace out.... xx jewels xx

3 s| Rock out my man

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