Man, I am a big loser who just read through all these archives. This journal was fun times, back in the heyday of what....May? Back when people commented and we wrote every day whether there was anything to write about or not. I'm really nostalgic now, actually, it's kind of sad.

Anyway, how about an entry for old times before I go to sleep at the wild hour of 9 PM? As of late Candi and I have been logging in a lot of time in zero hour AP history, at debate tournaments, and sitting aimlessly on the Internet complaining to each other. For some god forsaken reason, we seem to keep doing well at these damn tournaments so we're going to districts as Borah's A. Fun. We actually pinpointed at Eagle Classic that our greatest successes come when Candi is wearing her bitch boots and I am wearing my lucky underwear at the same time, so there you go.

We registered for senior year this week--it hasn't really sunk in yet that we have just one year of school left, but I'm sure it will in six months or so, and I'm sure I'll run the whole gamut of mixed emotions there. I'll be looking forward to those mood swings.

In other interesting news, I seem to have a cold localized in one nostril--I don't feel sick in any other way but there is some weird shit going on in the left side of my nose. Life is one tragedy after another, I tell you.

--Meghan

So, in order to live up to our "Borah Girls" reputation, Candi and I are going to be entered in duo interpretation at the upcoming Gonzaga tournament. At the moment, we don't really know what we're going to do, so I'm posing this question to anyone who reads this on both of our behalfs: what should our duo interp be? Bear in mind that a) we want to win something for once in our goddamn lives b) Candi can speak in a Wisconsin accent if need be c) anything that requires lots of a movement is a no, because coordination is not counted among my talents. Although falling down is!

Anyway--suggestions. Ready go.

--Meghan, who is now only a reluctant fan of second place

For all those clamoring for a new entry (that's like two of you), Candi and I wrote this on her laptop on the bus to Hillcrest last weekend, right before we migrated to the back of the bus and broke our purpling contract. Enjoy.

PEOPLE WE HATE AND WANT TO KILL ON THIS BUS 11/21/03
--everyone but allen and paul

PEOPLE JUSTIN HATES AND WANTS TO KILL ON THIS BUS 11/21/03
--barton jackoff
--mark
--kid who put on austin powers and won't turn it down

WHAT JUSTIN WISHES FOR
--leg room
--somebody to cuddle with
--for barton jackoff to get off the effing bus

Hello loyal readers:
Candi is dying next to me and I am made decidedly uncomfortable by the presence of certain people on this bus who are NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE. Hate my life.

Candi says "I forgot the fucking Sims CD and I'm thinking about killing myself." I am not that mad at her, it is not her fault, I gave her the plague and now she's expiring. I am just sitting here typing an entry very calmly wishing I had a sharp implement. Bleeehhh.

I think Frank and JUstin are about to have a knife fight. It's like night school up in here.

OK, only 5 hours and 49 minutes to go. Herman is hungry. I forgot to feed him this morning and now he's angry and exacting revenge by attacking my well-being. Herman, as if this bus isn't pain enough already. Why.

Date:	2003-10-25 15:14
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	aggravated
Music:	Can't Make a Ho...a Housewife.

Well, I am posting...

in bitter defeat.

Today Meghan and I made our debut in policy debate as partners. We were actually very very successful. We made it to quarters and finished with a record of 4-1. Then we were excited to hear that we had made it to semi-finals in debate. Especially, when we found out that the team we were hitting-- we had hit in a practice round earlier this week. The round was going pretty smoothly, until we learned that one of our judges was the mom of a girl we had previously beat in a round yesterday and they were passing notes back and forth to each other. NOT ALLOWED! Of course, Meghan and I couldn't do anything about it, but sit there and know that we had already lost one judge. The other judge that voted against us, later realized he had made a mistake and tried to get the tab room to change his ballot, but since the finals round was already under way-- there was nothing he could do. Sooo....it sucks pretty damn bad to be cheated out of a finals round by ugly hair girl's cheatin mom and a judge who had a paradigm of "random squirrel". In the words of Meghan, "Let's shoot the squirrel..."

But as you can see....I'm not upset.

Candi

Candi and Jeff were just here at my casa, it was exciting. Candi and I have decided we're both going to marry Jeff (after all, polygamy is good for something) and we're going to open a law firm together in New England somewhere while Jeff stays at home and takes care of Interwest. He says we'll make enough money that Interwest could even get his disproportionate features fixed via plastic surgery! The future is so, so bright.

--Meghan (the only person who updates this anymore)

Candi and I began our exciting day together with an attempted lunch at Burger King--a plan we had to ditch when Candi had to flee from some people who wish to kill her. So instead we ate at A&W and then took a scary trip to Wal-mart where we purchased two separate kinds of cookies for no apparent reason except the desire to get fat. We then furtively did a little bit of work on our hobby. It would seem that we're only getting worse. We've been at it a whole month now--shouldn't we be pros? It's confusing and depressing and I wish to stop discussing it.

We also spent some scary time at an expo of stolen/bootlegged products at the fairground. Despite the presence of Candi and our friend Rosemary I never managed to shake the feeling that a stabbing or a raping was just around the corner. This feeling was only made stronger when the guy who stamps hands at the door called us "The Three Amigos" and said "I've been watching you guys."

!!!! why do I hate my life?

We dropped off Rosemary and then Candi took me back to her house on the pretense of bringing me back to my car and such, but she really did it to lure me upstairs and show me the pornographic e-mails she receives. I feel as though I should enter a recovery program for victims of torture or something. It was like that rehabilitating machine in A Clockwork Orange. I didn't realize that the human anatomy was capable of such....contortions.

We also discussed the problem regarding the naming of Candi's first child. As some of you might know, Christopher wishes to name this child (apparently it will be a boy no matter what, but with this patriarchal clan that shouldn't shock you) a name so distasteful that hearing it in any context makes me want to stab my eyes out. It is an apparent show of "family pride", but poor Chris is misguided. Candi and I have very bad associations with this name--it is a name so dastardly that to mention it here would forever sully this journal--and as such we decided that we would kill this child before we let him mosey through life carrying such a burden.

However, I thought about it later and decided--I have a larger problem with this name than Candi does. In direct proportion to that, Candi would see him more than I would. It would be kind of selfish of me to kill this kid just because I hold a grudge like no one's business. So I decided that the solution to the problem does not lie in a fourth trimester abortion, but rather a carefully selected middle name. I could live with the child's presence if his middle name were to be "Jackoff." Compromise is the sign of a mature spirit and it's a hell of a compromise. Besides, I think "Jackoff" has a clever ring to it. On the playground, they could call him "Jacky" for short.

So, because I am exhausted by my day and my excessive wisdom/good spirit, I now bid goodnight to all members of the McCurdy clan: myself, Candace Kissinger-McCurdy, Christopher McCurdy, Interwest "Bruce-Lon-Ron" Kissinger-McCurdy, and little ---- Jackoff Kissinger-McCurdy. Who says you can't make a ho a housewife?

--Meghan

This was in a porn email I just received...

A friendly bet over a game of pool turns into a sexual game of sucking cock.
It is really hard to concentrate on the game when this beautiful lady is bent over the table,
And before the game was done, both men were rock hard and had to do something about it.
With one dick in each hand, Damita quickly becomes the meat in our Threesome Sandwich!
But that's okay, she doesn't mind...

Now why don't we get to study that kind of literature in AP English? Isn't that the Amercian dream as well?

....anonymous...ok, it's Candi.

PS- Meghan and I didn't realize the email I received was porn, until we saw some interesting things. I don't generally look at my porno...I'm done. We'll update later about our scary day. Yes, it gets worse.

This is Interwest Kissinger-McCurdy. The baby that Meghan and I are adopting for Haiti. We have high hopes for Interwest- that he may one day write songs about killing people with his glock and pimping bitches. Because you can't make a ho a housewife is the reason that Interwest is up for adoption.

--Candi

Currently, Candace is talking to me sexually via IM. Although I'm going along with it, I can't help but feel used. I mean, I can't help but feel that I'm just a replacement for Chris right now.

[08:53 PM] KissMyGoLDiES: isnt that what love is all about?
[08:54 PM] KissMyGoLDiES: i'm gonna see it thru this time
[08:54 PM] KissMyGoLDiES: i wont let you slip away

Maybe I'm just paranoid, but I feel like I'm not the McCurdy she really wants to be saying this to. I really love her, and she just wants to get in my pants. It's kind of depressing, and yet I keep coming back to her.

[09:04 PM] KissMyGoLDiES: i'm gonna sing you another song

PS: For those of you who enjoy misintepreting what we AP English students now know as "satire", Candi and I are not really lesbian lovers. Yet.

--Meghan

Wow, it's been a while since this has been updated, sorry about that.

Candi introduced me to her closet of joy Friday, which is a random closet upstairs in her house that contains all kind of jolly costume-like garments, so we put them on and took pictures with Candi's assy digital camera. Even juniors in high school aren't too old to play dress-up, although our version was probably more R-rated than most. There's only so much you can do with a fur coat before you start wondering what a prostitute would wear with it....well, wonder no more.

I went to ISF's last show (The Fantasticks) tonight. After the show I went backstage to see some of the actors I wanted to say goodbye to. It was very bittersweet and sad. I hate endings. I'm now having an overly contemplative night and I keep rolling everything that happened throughout the entire summer over and over again in my mind. It's pretty goddamn lame, thanks for asking. I've decided to stop thinking. It just keeps causing me trouble over and over again. Anyway. It was a hell of a season, all things considered, and probably technically was better than a poke in the eye.

--Meghan

If you want to know something sick, here goes. In a mere nine and a half hours I will be in zero hour. Goddamn.

School is definitely as I remembered it. I spend large amounts of time in close quarters with many of the same people, I walk down pedophile hall and try not to plow down too many children who move too slowly and then Freeman tells me I am not humorous. Today his wife told me I did well in Comedy of Errors and Freeman was like, "Oh, yeah, been meaning to say that." Freeman, every time you lie an angel dies, OK? Or something. I think I saw that in a movie once.

Well, off I go to study some more for my massive test tomorrow. This has been another riveting update and perhaps it will inspire Candi to write something.

--Meghan

Date:	2003-08-31 13:42
Subject:	A Revision
Security:	Public
Mood:	pleased
Music:	"Brown Eyed Girl"

I decided to delete that last entire entry. It was pointless and there's really no reason for me to be like the girl that was spreading lies and talking bad about others behind their backs. Meghan is my friend, but I in no means am trying to keep Meghan from her other friends. I don't want to be like some divorced parent here. Meghan isn't a child obviously. If you think that I am a bad person, then you can talk to me about that and not others.

--Candi

Date:	2003-08-29 17:10
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	blah

Well, school hasn't been too bad quite yet. I feel so girly though. It has been taking me like two full hours to get ready for school and with zero hour now...the chance to find quality sleep is getting scarce. My hair has really been bothering me recently...maybe it's just the length. My hair has never been this long before. Most guys seem to like it, but it's turning into a nightmare. I blow dry it for twenty minutes, then straighten it, and then curl it...all adding up to like 40 minutes. I'm sure you don't want to hear about my girlish habits, but sometimes I just feel over-prepped. Maybe like a cheap whore.

This past summer I have been feeling really out of shape. I gained some weight in Texas and now I can't seem to get it off. Sooo I have decided not to eat lunch or breakfast anymore and go to gym everyday after school. I am also starting some fat loss meal replacement type pills. Hopefully, it will all work and I'll start looking better. It's like to the point, that I don't even want to go out with Meghan and get our McDonald's pies because I am worried about how all the calories will add up. I want the freedom to eat what I want again.

Good news- Chris comes home this weekend! I am way excited to see him, but I hope he can't tell that I have been gaining weight and won't be disappointed when he sees me. I am also planning on hanging out with Meghan this weekend...maybe a rubber run and our new secret hobby...we'll disclose about that later.

Well, off to the gym. See ya.

I must say, I'm a big fan of this trend of three and a half days of school followed by a four day weekend.

The first week of "hell year" was not too bad, so we'll see. Things are going to become a lot more routine around here once Comedy closes, which it does tonight. I'm sad but ready. Freeman was in the audience last night and I'm sure that he'll tell me Tuesday that he thought everyone in the cast was funny but myself. Oh well. Every time he tells me I'm not funny, the quality of the sweatervest I'm planning to buy him if we make nationals slips just a notch. He's down to Target quality right about now....not at K-Mart level yet but close.

Right now I'd better go eat something and then get some homework done. Hope everyone has a good day, or at least a pleasantly uneventful one.

--Meghan

I think Meghan is a lesbian...sh....
KissMyGoLDiES: tomorrow is national kiss day....
KissMyGoLDiES: and i have no one to kiss. :-(
giselle24601: me neither
giselle24601: we can kiss each other
KissMyGoLDiES: hahaha
KissMyGoLDiES: umm

Okay...who am I kidding, I'm down.

Well, today was the first day of hell year and I actually think it's going to be OK, knock on lots and lots of wood. Candi had to stash her stuff in my locker today because she couldn't figure out the whole combination thing. I guess it was OK for today, but it better not happen again. I told her, if you're going to be here in pedophile hall you need to be on top of things. I hope she took it to heart.

I think the school really does think I am a pedophile, though--on top of having my locker in pedophile hall there's a German foreign exchange student in my Latin class who is probably 3 months old and he sits next to me. It's like they're just imploring me to commit statutory rape, and it frightens me. I want to know who gave me this reputation as a child molester. Generally I leave the children be.

Certain people need to not be in my AP bio class because I am frightened of accidentally causing their demise. The end.

--Meghan

Date:	2003-08-23 16:40
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	curious

Grrrrrrr. Okay. Chris and I have talked for a total of 4 minutes in the past 4 days...He just got online and things were really cold. Bah. Oh well. I'm not going to let someone 300 miles determine how I feel. He's off to a party right now though...to get drunk and probably with a girl. It's hard not feeling heart broken, even though there are things to look forward to in my life. I am almost done with all the AP homework, which make me happy. Hopefully, the school year will start off alright. Well, I better get to something else on the list of things to do.

Candi

Date:	2003-08-22 18:17
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	annoyed

Last night was, as Candi said, bizarre but fun. I crashed her debate part-ay and enjoyed myself. I discovered this morning that for one person at least, I wore out my welcome the instant I walked in the door, but somehow I think I'll find the strength to go on. Grayson from BK remembered me from mock trial and remembered that we'd placed 4th in the state despite the "help" of teammates Hella Matt and Girls Gone Wild Hilary, and that made me happy. He seems like a nice kid. Paul is also as rad as I remembered him to be.

Candi and I were somehow persuaded into two rounds of DDR when we met up with Paul and Luke. That's all I will say. Let's never speak of it again.

I think the only truly frightening quality of 28 Days Later is that it features two separate nude scenes involving a hairy anorexic British man, and yet somehow it still managed to scare me. Perhaps because I am very lame, but if I were to admit both that AND that I have no DDR skills to speak of, my suckiness would create some sort of vortex that would end the world as we know it and that seems like it would just be a mess.

Well, I have to go do a show in the rain now. Should be only slightly this side of miserable, but at least I'll finally be grateful for the black wool uniform.

--Meghan

Date:	2003-08-22 16:47
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	lonely

Hmm. Last night was wonderfully weird. I had a student council meeting that lasted til about 4 pm...then I had a debate meeting at BK til about 8 o'clock. I finally met Grayson, I've heard a lot about him and it's nice to put a face with the name. He eventually came DDRing with Meghan, Paul, Luke, and myself. After the meeting, I picked up Meghan and we did DDR for the first time. It was uhhh...something I don't ever want to talk about for the rest of my life. I would say that our talents are not up to par. We then proceeded to the movie "28 Days Later". It was probably the weirdest scary movie I have ever seen in my life. It still doesn't make a bit of sense to me. Except the first scene was of a naked man with his hairy penis...so that gave it at least 2 stars in my book. Oh and the most eventful part was when a 12 yr. old who claimed later to be 19 started hitting on me. It was terrible. He was with like 5 little boys too. I wonder if he is catholic...perhaps mormon. Boy scouts? Meh. Anyways, I wish I didn't have to start this process of dating over again. I had forgotten how terribly stupid it all has become. Something else happened during the movie, but I don't want to start any rumors, so I am going to leave it out. It was actually really grand though. I'm sure only 3 people know what I am speaking of.

Time to finish AP History.

Candi-- who is still lonely.