| ALOHA |
[29 Dec 2002|01:03am] |
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mood |
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drained |
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music |
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None.. if I had any playing.. it would awaken the mom. |
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Welcome to my new journal. I'm not good with introductions so I'm thinking that I'll jump right into things... now if only there was anything to jump into... hmmm.
I'm Carrie... I'm 17... I'm a senior in HS... and I'm not even going to try to define myself.
Oooh. That was an introduction. I'm cool. Haha. Anyway, it's early and I haven't gotten much sleep lately so I must be getting off to bed. Plus, my mom told me to get off the computer in ten minutes.. but that was about an hour ago. If she awakes, then I shall be doomed.
Goodnight.
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| OH GEEZ |
[29 Dec 2002|01:54am] |
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Haha... ok, so I just updated but I have some good news for you all. An incredibly good looking guy supposedly finds me "attractive". He's a really cool guy too. I have a boyfriend but oh well. It's not like I'm going to hump this guys brains out or anything. Sheesh. I'm not THAT much of a whore. haha.
Of course, Gina sent me her and Max's conversation in which they discussed the situation!!
twink926 (1:22:10 AM): It makes me sad, carrie doesn't think she's attractive...
CypherEND (1:22:28 AM): hmmm....well collin thinks shes attractive
twink926 (1:22:42 AM): really???????
CypherEND (1:24:41 AM): yah.....not suprising, shes his type
[ pause ]
twink926 (1:26:57 AM): what did he say to you?
twink926 (1:27:17 AM): lol... sorry i'm a girl, as much as i'm not normal, this is the normal highschool part of me
CypherEND (1:28:50 AM): oh i think everyone has a little of the "tell me more" urge...........cant give you exact words, but i do know he finds her attractive
[ pause ]
CypherEND (1:32:00 AM): yup..i think thats why it works..i want you and he likes her...he was downtown looking for us at 8 on friday, but went home
twink926 (1:32:19 AM): aw man!
twink926 (1:32:25 AM): he likes her?
*LoL* That makes me happy. haha. I don't feel as ugly as I usually do.
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| UGH. |
[29 Dec 2002|04:50pm] |
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mood |
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confused |
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music |
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"Big Crash" -Less Than Jake |
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So here I am with another tough decision to make... I like Mike and everything but there's something about him that makes me not want to be with him. Perhaps it is his obsession with calling me "Baby" or "Honey". I'm not a baby damnit. And I'm definitely not honey. Perhaps it is the fact that he's taking things way too far... way too fast. All he wants to do is physical things. He doesn't even want to talk at all. He hasn't taken me out of the house to do something nice... all he wants to do is take me into his bedroom and lock his door. It feels like he's using me... good thing he has nothing to use me fore considering I am NOT going to put out for him. NO WAY iN HELL. I need to break up with him... but I don't know how.
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| JAMES SMELLS BAD |
[29 Dec 2002|08:50pm] |
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mood |
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pissed off |
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music |
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"Tiny Pants" -Aquabats |
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I feel so unappreciated sometimes... as if none of my efforts are noticed. For example... James. He doesn't appreciate me whatsoever. It really hurts. I mean, I'm incredibly nice to him and I go completely out of my way to do favors for him. But do I get any thanks? No. I just get complaints. He says that I'm one of his best friends yet do I get any recognition for anything I do??
I took care of him at a party a couple weeks ago. He was completely wasted and sure, that's a normal occurance at high school parties... but I still feel an obligation to my friends to help them out when they're at their low points. So, I was the one helping him walk... the one making sure no one was fucking around with him... and he told me that he wanted me to take care of him.. so I did. But the, afterwards... he pretended like nothing ever happened.
A couple days ago James asked if I could burn some cds for him. Turns out... he wants over a hundred songs burned. Of course, I say yes. I waste hours and hours of my time finding the songs and remixes and everything on Kazaa. I download the songs and send them to my brother... my brother burns them... then I make a playlist... I write down every song that's on the cds... and the order and everything. And then.. right before I'm about to save, the computer crashes and I lose everything. UGH. So of course, I start all over again... And I'm still in the process of rewriting the playlist. Sure, James said he's gonna pay me... but still. So then, I give him the cds.. and he gets online later and starts complaining that a couple of the songs aren't "album quality" and they need to be redone.
It's like... don't be a dick about it or anything. I didn't do this for the money... I did it for a friend. But if he's not going to treat me like a friend then what's the fucking point?
Another thing... James has a website... on his website there are pictures of friends and such... of course, I took EVERY SiNGLE picture with my digital camera [minus one].. but do I get credit for the pics? Of course not. And there's also a shoutouts page. But James has too much pride to mention my name. Asshole.
He comes over to my house all the time just to stop by or "chill" as he would say. A couple times we just went and hung out on the weekends.. drove around.. nothing too exciting but that's besides the point. At school though... of course he pretends like we're not friends. Nope. I don't matter to him. All that matters is those stupid little freshman sluts that follow him around and lead him on to no end and then end up hurting him. Of course, he comes running to me everytime another girl turns him down after leading him on for so long. He let's his dick lead his way and it gets old after awhile.
I've told him that he doesn't appreciate me and he says it's bullshit... but it's not. UGH. Fuck him... and fuck me ever doing anything to help him.
Oh well. He smells bad.
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