|
[22 May 2008|09:58pm] |
It’s been a long week. I haven’t been sleeping. I keep having waking nightmares. I don’t know if they are the sort of thing other people have.
I lay down, snuggle into my pillow, and lay there until I am sort of falling asleep, then I will see something, a gigantic bug, or think of something so terrible.
But it’s before I am asleep. It’s like, when you fall asleep, and start dreaming about walking or running, and your body twitches as you try to walk, and you wake yourself up.
Except it’s the opposite, where my body is falling asleep, but I am still conscious.
Every night it has been like this.
When I finally do fall asleep, have honest to goodness nightmares.
And I keep having sleep anxiety attacks. I didn’t even know it was possible, but I will wake up, and be in the midst of a full on anxiety attack, I can’t breath.
I wish I was home. I would really like to go see the doctor. I feel so out of it. I keep walking into things, I reach for something, and it’s not quite where I think its going ot be.
I have lots all coordination, and I feel all shaky.
But I can’t go to the Doctor. I am in a foreign country, I don’t speak the language, I don’t even know how to make a Doctor’s appointment.
So I did go, I would have to take my boss, to translate. Then they will just think I’m crazy.
I don’t think they will understand anxiety.
I just need some sleep.
|
|