|
[22 Jan 2008|12:33am] |
| [ |
music |
| |
a perfect circle - weak and powerless |
] |
It would prove that nothing has changed.
but I didn't, which just means its all fucking inconclusive.
I know nothing has changed, i know everything has changed.
It doesn't really matter anyways.
Or it does
I am so lost.
this reality is of my own making. My actions, the sum of my decisions have lead me here.
And i truly believe I deserve what I get, karma and all that.
and maybe thats the heart of the problem.
Go ahead, break me, use me, abuse me.
It doesn't matter, because I will just believe I deserve it.
Truth.
It's only half the problem.
The other half is the absolute certainty about what I really want, and since i can't have that, the absolute uncertainty about everything else.
So i am just drifting along.
And it's painful.
Each day is just a little bit worse.
I can't sleep, because I don't want to have to wake up and face tommorow.
I am making no progress, because I have no goals.
The freedom is killing me.
and it has lead me to the exact same place where I felt desperate and trapped.
Ah the irony.
and I won't say anything, because all this is my fault anyways.
I have nothing to say, because nothing I could say would change any of it anyways.
|
|