mari's Blurty Entries [entries|friends|calendar] mari [ website | My Live journal ] [ userinfo | blurty userinfo ] [ calendar | blurty calendar ]

(wish upon a star ) Im sorry... [17 Aug 2003|07:14pm] [ mood | busy ] Im sorry guys i really am.. I'll keep up with ur entries really... i just dont want to be in this journal anymore.... i have to many things to do..and the other one is safer... plus this one has too many things that i personally dont want anymore... I'll still comment and such.. i just wont be posting anymore... i'll leave u a link to my live journal..in this same entry so u can go there when ever u want... sorry.. love ya all... bubye... heres the link..add it tour favorites... if u want...

(wish upon a star ) ok..here are some more pics.of me.. that i actually like.. [16 Aug 2003|10:49pm] [ mood | hungry ] ** Dont think im conceited people, cause im not..is just that its hard for me to like my pictures..so once i do.. i have to post them up..There is me now and then.. i used to be blond..blah..im hoping to never having to go back to that..but who knows maybe one day...

(1 wish | wish upon a star ) Big red?... [16 Aug 2003|12:06am] [ mood | lonely ] Ok..as i said in yesturdays entry, i did wake up with a big smile today in my face... I dont understand how im cappable of deleting or restoring memories that well...hurt... Ive noticed, that somehow i can... anyhow.... Today my bestest friend Alexandra came to visit me...wooohoo shes a great girl.. we've been friends ever since 5th grade.. and she never stops being intouched with me... I love her soo much... I hadnt talked to her for over 6 months now... I was getting worried.. However she came today, and we had a long talk... From now on im planning to keep in touch more often... On another note.. I went to the movies today with joe...It was cool, i saw a bunch of friends, and made new ones too..lol.. The only thing i couldnt stand was the smoke of the ciggaretts... !Second hand smoking is worse than smoking itself! oh well.. I saw all these people there... and for somereason they all smoke... There was a momment there i couldnt stop laughing about..lmao.. This 14 year old kid, that looked like 8 comes up to us and asks for a lighter..lmao.. When i looked, i noticed he was smoking weed in a Big red candy rapper... ::dies laughing:: oh man... then everyone noticed too, and we all felt down laughing.. They were all like, hey dude what type of blunt is that man?..lmao.. I had a fun time.. yet i leaned back on a garbage can with joe... noticing how not many of those friends were gonna get far in life... It was sad having that thought..of how they are fucking there lives up.. Just for fun... Another funny thing was that, we girls are supposed to be the ones to gossip about everything right?... how come guys do it all the time, and worse?.. lol Danny(aka..Stoner) knew everyone that was high, stoned, w/e u name it.. he knew the dealers the everything... Yet hes a cool as guy and hes soo cute too... hes just addicted already.. Sucks really, like i said hes a really cool person.... Well, joe and i on our way back home..noticed how bad loneliness felt..oh man... I hate it, i want to love again.. I want to feel that feeling that makes ur day and makes ur world... Well school is starting and i cant wait...

(wish upon a star ) Well...once again.. [15 Aug 2003|02:49am] [ mood | determined ] Nothing in this world is always what it seems... I havent written in a while.... and for now im not planning to either..Ive written some entries private... Thats all ive done.. I truely dont feel like writing about what i feel at this instance.. so many things to say and not enough time..there wont be enough time, not even if eternity would let me....I agree with many things, yet I would debate them to the end..because i have proof and i know that things could be soo different... I got an answer...I'll just have to go along with my goals and dreams... I understand what its being set infront of me, i also forgive those decisions made... I feel way stronger than in the past... All i needed was an answer, to set my course...no looking back, no regrets, no tears.... only looking forward and living day by day... I give soo much thanks for having that great chance in my life... I guess im just alittle scared... But hey, tomorrow will be another day, and im happy to say, that i'll wake up with a smile on my face..because memories from yesturday wont bring me down, they will be look back on and know they existed as a wonderfull yet somehow confusing dream..... goodnight..

(2 wishes | wish upon a star ) Joseph sucks..soo damn bad... [14 Aug 2003|12:06am] [ mood | amused ] [ music | music...with thoughts wondering around inside my head... ] -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Focker Joe (11:34:47 PM): whhhhhhyyyyyyy.....:-( fairyswirls (11:34:54 PM): why what> fairyswirls (11:35:01 PM): ohh looky it has a boner fairyswirls (11:35:05 PM): 8> fairyswirls (11:35:07 PM): lmso Focker Joe (11:35:14 PM): lmao Focker Joe (11:35:18 PM): how did u know? fairyswirls (11:35:19 PM): 8~> Focker Joe (11:35:20 PM): lmao Focker Joe (11:35:27 PM): lmfao Focker Joe (11:35:38 PM): j-k Focker Joe (11:35:41 PM): o man,,, Focker Joe (11:35:57 PM): i got a perverted head' fairyswirls (11:35:59 PM): ypu yuppyu fairyswirls (11:36:05 PM): u? fairyswirls (11:36:09 PM): i came up with it.... Focker Joe (11:36:26 PM): lol n im the one that was like how did u know i had one>? Focker Joe (11:36:27 PM): lol Focker Joe (11:36:42 PM): haha... i won fairyswirls (11:36:47 PM): haha.. no u didnt Focker Joe (11:36:51 PM): yup yup fairyswirls (11:36:54 PM): cause thats not being perverted Focker Joe (11:37:17 PM): u want to beat me in pervertednece? Focker Joe (11:37:19 PM): lol fairyswirls (11:37:29 PM): no thank u..cause i'll seriously BEAT u Focker Joe (11:37:34 PM): thats my terrotory Focker Joe (11:37:35 PM): lol Focker Joe (11:37:37 PM): no u wont fairyswirls (11:37:49 PM): i dont want to make u feel bad joe..lets leave it there Focker Joe (11:37:55 PM): lmao Focker Joe (11:37:56 PM): me? fairyswirls (11:37:58 PM): yes u Focker Joe (11:38:12 PM): o man..thats a challenge?? Focker Joe (11:38:14 PM): lol fairyswirls (11:38:29 PM): nah...like i said i dont want to see u defeated fairyswirls (11:38:37 PM): rolling on the floor suffering Focker Joe (11:38:52 PM): mija when i pop one i dont stop Focker Joe (11:38:55 PM): i challenge u Focker Joe (11:38:56 PM): lol fairyswirls (11:39:11 PM): joe..is that ur not perverted MIJO..ur nasty Focker Joe (11:40:43 PM): lol look bonner!!! O \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ O O Focker Joe (11:40:47 PM): LMAO Focker Joe (11:40:51 PM): beat that fairyswirls (11:41:20 PM): umm..what is that?...a a ball falling from the sky in between two hoops? fairyswirls (11:41:28 PM): joe u seriosly suck at this Focker Joe (11:41:59 PM): omfg great Focker Joe (11:42:02 PM): lmao fairyswirls (11:42:03 PM): like i mentioned before..u arent perverted uar nasty Focker Joe (11:42:51 PM): i can be the most perverted guy in the world mari...u have no idea what im capable of when it comes to these things Focker Joe (11:42:52 PM): :-P fairyswirls (11:43:23 PM): lmfao...joe..u arent fairyswirls (11:43:27 PM): get it through ur head fairyswirls (11:43:37 PM): like i said.... ur arent perverted..u are nasty Focker Joe (11:44:20 PM): damn that was mean..... uve never sseen me perverted mari Focker Joe (11:44:21 PM): at all Focker Joe (11:44:24 PM): u dont know Focker Joe (11:44:27 PM): lol fairyswirls (11:44:39 PM): cause perverted..is finding everything related to sex..not sayin shit like what u told kenias couz. Focker Joe (11:44:43 PM): but yea....... im nasty Focker Joe (11:44:56 PM): lmfao Focker Joe (11:45:04 PM): yup i know fairyswirls (11:45:04 PM): i think kenia can be wayy wayy more perverted than u Focker Joe (11:45:12 PM): lmao Focker Joe (11:45:14 PM): rigghhhht fairyswirls (11:45:26 PM): she can beat u in this Focker Joe (11:45:33 PM): ohhh nooo fairyswirls (11:45:35 PM): we girls are wayyyy way more perverted Focker Joe (11:45:52 PM): when it comes to girls mari.. fairyswirls (11:46:04 PM): besides u suck joe.. fairyswirls (11:46:11 PM): u know nothing Focker Joe (11:46:16 PM): everything is about sex, but u girls never say a word of it fairyswirls (11:46:23 PM): we've been around perverted guys..and i mean PERVERTED Focker Joe (11:46:25 PM): me /??? Focker Joe (11:46:28 PM): no nothing?? Focker Joe (11:46:40 PM): o well Focker Joe (11:46:41 PM): w-e fairyswirls (11:46:42 PM): YUP fairyswirls (11:46:46 PM): HAHAHAHAHAH Focker Joe (11:46:59 PM): r u laughing at me? fairyswirls (11:47:12 PM): ME? fairyswirls (11:47:15 PM): AT U? fairyswirls (11:47:19 PM): OFCOURSE Focker Joe (11:49:08 PM): try me mari Focker Joe (11:49:10 PM): lmao fairyswirls (11:49:23 PM): LMFAO..UR DEAD ALREADY JOE fairyswirls (11:49:30 PM): WE WON..A WHILE BACK fairyswirls (11:49:35 PM): U CANT RESTART AGAIN *lmso.. i just love debating..hahaha..except i was leanient with this one, hes a friend and i didnt want to disrespect..lol... there is only one person that can beat me...and that person is not to be mentioned again..however that person wins because i get tired...and its like yeah w/e...lol..overall...HAHA u havent seen anything yet...this was like a stupid debating... When i get into subjects about life..pfff...*Im the BEst*...lmao..j/k.. but im gooood...Plus is not based on wich side to debating ur in..its how, u carry ur side...get it?..i dont think i made sence there..oh well..lol

(3 wishes | wish upon a star ) no more..one journal is enough.. [13 Aug 2003|05:25pm] Im considering or erasing this journal..and just sticking with my live journal.. u cant have more than 10 friends..and i write the same exact things on both of them...its somewhat of a hazle.. plus the only one here is u k... and everyone else is on live journal... ill give u the link to the journal..and u read there...sowy plus i dont want any "random aliens" to read my journal anymore.... love ya all...bubye... www.livejournal.com/users/fireryrose/ ~u can go there to find my other journal..

(wish upon a star ) :::I dont wanna::: [13 Aug 2003|05:22pm] [ mood | uncomfortable ] [ music | some song in spanish... ] Im being very selfish right about now...i should go hit my head against the wall... Im getting mad at him, for my own feelings..poop bloop..8( i cant hold him down with me, when we'll never be anything...by: my choice... I need to calm down..and make some sence of what im doing... and whats right..because as ive said..im acting very selfish.... (wish upon a star )

(wish upon a star ) soul mates?... [12 Aug 2003|06:16pm] [ mood | thoughtful ] [ music | eminem *haily's song* ] In fact, the person with whom you're most compatible may not be a soul mate. The sad truth is, soul mate relationships can be the most painful, the most distressing, and the most heartrending of any love bond that you could ever experience. There is a lot of misinformation circling in the popular media about soul mates. Soul mates are beings who emerged from the same group soul as you, and who have been with you for thousands of years, life after life. However many soul mates you may have - there is no set figure - you are all trying to get back together, to complete the cycle of soul evolution and rejoin. And from there, who knows where we go? A soul mate doesn't necessarily have to be a love partner. A soul mate can be a parent, a sibling, a best friend, a helpful neighbor, a favorite teacher, or simply a compassionate stranger who helps you at a time of great need, then disappears from your life. What many people believe to be "soul mates" are actually what Elizabeth Clare Prophet termed "twin flames." Twin flames are beings that manifested from the same soul group at the exact same time, and thus are like identical twins that are so much a part of each other they can never bear being apart. Unfortunately, as very few of us are identical twins, very few of us have a twin flame. And they aren't always love partners, either. According to Edgar Cayce, Jesus of Nazareth and his mother Mary were twin flames. Twin flames are beings that manifested from the same soul group at the exact same time, and thus are like identical twins that are so much a part of each other they can never bear being apart. Yet the relationship between Jesus and Mary was hardly an easy one. Like soul mate relationships, twin flame relationships can be devastating. Soul mate or twin flame, these beings are not sent here to bring us endless evenings of champagne, moonlight, and red roses. We come together to LEARN.

(wish upon a star ) to u.. [12 Aug 2003|04:09am] [ mood | determined ] [ music | eminem *haily's song* ] SOmetimes... i wonder if what i do, i do it for u or for what we used to have... Im very close to setting a goal, no matter how much i love u... i was almost there b4 tomight happend... i seriosuly dont get why life, wants us together again..because it keeps on giving us apportunities.... DO u really want those opportunities?... ::sigh:: If there is one more time..wich i somewhat doubt...it Will be the last one..i can assure u that, im very tired of all this... dammit i just want it the way it was before all this began...i want it back as before braking up... If it cant, then..its better to not even try it again..i'll go my way and u'll go urs... You know how u make me feel..u know how i feel about u..i tell u every time, i have a chance... why cant u do the same?... I love you... yet i can fight it..once my goal is set... soo its ur decision... an answer that will last for a long time... a Final decision.... and this will be all over...

(wish upon a star ) Oh man...helppp!!!! [12 Aug 2003|01:44am] [ mood | ecstatic ] [ music | michell branch *drop in the ocean* ] Today, was going just fine..lol..just a normal day...and all of a sudden...felipe ims me..lol..a friend of mine...He then tells me of a friend of his..and that he had seen my pictures..oh man..i talked to his friend...hes a cool guy..~*just as friends*~..and after a while..all of a sudden, like 5 more people appeared on my screen..lol..damn...7 guys talking to me at the same time..no way...it was joe, julian, felipe, robert, manuel, chris and michael..they all needed someone to talk to...haha i feel special...and they had all seen my pics..wtf?..ok?..oh well...its not really anything i dont get it..but i had to change s.n's..they were all driving me crazy..not because of anything..NO!! it was just because it was too many people at once..i hadnt gone through that for a while..so im not soo used to it anymore..lol...over all...with another issue...im doing what i had to do along time ago with him...~*using my brain, instead of my heart*~ thats the only way, he actually sees me as a person..i should of never, ever gotten soo attached....oh well, life is life..and everything passes by...tomorrow will be another day..yup yup...with a big smile =D

(wish upon a star ) Its happening again..lol.. [12 Aug 2003|01:40am] [ mood | good ] [ music | mandy moore ~*only hope*~ ] sk8erhXc (12:54:59 AM): she wanted to get drunk and shit and i told her not to , cuz i don't like it when ppl drink by themselves that means they have a problem FirerY RoSe (12:55:09 AM): yeah sk8erhXc (12:55:22 AM): if u drink with firends it's ok sk8erhXc (12:55:25 AM): ur having fun sk8erhXc (12:55:34 AM): and she says i'm too controlling sk8erhXc (12:55:36 AM): w/e FirerY RoSe (12:56:18 AM): no ur not..ur actually looking up for her and worrying for her... sk8erhXc (12:56:33 AM): yeah ... sk8erhXc (12:57:08 AM): and i stopped gettin high just to get my life str8 and now she wants to drink her ass off while i'm trying to quit FirerY RoSe (12:58:14 AM): but dont do it for her felipe....do it for urself FirerY RoSe (12:58:27 AM): do it becase u want to be something better sk8erhXc (12:58:40 AM): i am sk8erhXc (12:58:43 AM): haha sk8erhXc (12:59:08 AM): i need to take my life back sk8erhXc (12:59:23 AM): it's a chance to kae things right i don't want to fuck up again (  read more... )

(wish upon a star ) Rainy days are the best..... [11 Aug 2003|09:21pm] [ mood | cheerful ] [ music | all american rejects *one more sad song* ] For my best of luck, joe came today in the morning..yup yup..it was fun..he bought me these strawberry shorcake arm mittens...they are red and white striped...Its adorable.. C(~_~)D...later on we started taking pictures..haha i cant wait to see them....oh man... i kept on trying to be stupid but i would end up cracking up...and i bet the pictures came out moved...i have soo much fun with joe..ever since he stopped with the obbssesion he became my coolest Guy buddy...and joe licked my toes for a pic..lmao..eww joe.. i had fun... Later on he left and came back at 5:30... then he showed me how to draw..lol..oh man..i can do it..but im soo out of proportion..lmao...i'll learn though...this will be my new goal... yup!.. Thank uuu joe...for making my day a little bit more interesting..muah.... Love marie..

(wish upon a star ) lmao...that was fun... [11 Aug 2003|09:18pm] [ mood | crazy ] [ music | the calling ~*where ever u will go*~ ] ( these are some pictures i took today lol..and some parts of a convo with joe..lol ) ( some of my pics... )

(wish upon a star ) i took a quiz..from an email..this is what i got... [11 Aug 2003|04:22pm] [ mood | amused ] [ music | Finch *~What is it to burn~* ] 1. Red - You are alert and your life is full of love. 2. L-R You try to enjoy your life to the maximum and your love life is soon to blossom. 3.Oct-Dec: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your soul mate. 4.Black: Your life will take on a different direction, it will seem hard at the time but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change. 5. kenia 6. 8 7.Florida: You are a laid back person. 8. Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people. 9. ::No comment:: ---------------------------THe questions------------------------------------- If you are honest this tells the truth - it's pretty good. Write your answers on a piece of paper, and NO cheating!! The answers are at the bottom.. 1. Which is your favorite color out of: red, black, blue, green, yellow? 2. Your first initial? 3. Your month of birth? 4. Which color do you like more, black or white? 5. Name of a person of the same sex as yours. 6. Your favorite number? 7. Do you like California or Florida more? 8. Do you like a lake or the ocean more? 9. Write down a wish (a realistic one). Answers 1. If you choose: Red - You are alert and your life is full of love. Black - you are conservative and aggressive. Green - your soul is relaxed and you are laid back Blue - you are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you love. Yellow - you are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are down. 2. If your initial is: A-K You have a lot of love and friendships in your life. L-R You try to enjoy your life to the maximum and your love life is soon to blossom. S-Z You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.. 3. If you were born in: *Jan-Mar: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected. *April-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but the memories will last forever. *July-Sep: You will have a great year and will experience a major life-changing experience for the good. *Oct-Dec: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your soul mate. 4. If you chose.. . Black: Your life will take on a different direction, it will seem hard at the time but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change. White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do anything for you, but you may not realize it. 5. This person is your best friend. 6. This is how many close friends you have in your lifetime. 7. If you chose: California: You like adventure. Florida: You are a laid back person. 8. If you chose: Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your lover and are very reserved. Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.

(wish upon a star ) Ahh.. the memories... [11 Aug 2003|01:56pm] [ mood | pensive ] [ music | eminem *haily's song* ] I"ve come to believe events in life have much to do with songs... Let me explain my self.. im laying on my bed listening to music..its just a variety of artists and songs...yes!..well.. everytime it starts to rain out of nowhere, one song comes up to play...weird..this song i heard for the first time at someone's house and the coincedece, is that it was raining when i first heard it.... Now everytime it rains and im listening to music, the song replays... I hate the fact that the more u try to forget things, the more they pop up out of nowhere...and bring memories of past events... After a while i begin to forget why and how everything started, i start remembering the nice times, i had and how much feelings deteriorate.... yet no matter how nice they were..they ended hill down.... overall, to me everything before was nice, it took long to build but at the end it was worth it... yet one single momment brought everything down... and after that momment nothing was ever built anymore.... oh well... i love rainy days...they bring back memories...dont u?...

(wish upon a star ) Yes..i agree.. [11 Aug 2003|02:32am] [ mood | calm ] [ music | reggae ] FirerY RoSe (2:26:44 AM): u know what he told me? he goes "you really ARE one stupid human being, you think i hurt you, and i don't tell you what i feel, IMAGINE IF I WOULD'VE TOLD YOU. i'd be framed for cause of teenage suicide. :-D" Friend: yeah i read.. FirerY RoSe (2:27:21 AM): hes an idiot...and then he asks me why im like the way i am? or why im mad? friend(2:28:05 AM): i know....but this is when people like him in his position dont think FirerY RoSe (2:28:19 AM): yeah FirerY RoSe (2:28:31 AM): they just think to say a word..but not of the consequences Friend (2:28:51 AM): or the meaning FirerY RoSe (2:29:03 AM): yup

(wish upon a star ) ::sigh:: [11 Aug 2003|02:08am] [ mood | disappointed ] [ music | eminem *hailys song* ] He fucked up every feeling i had for him...little by little..he just left it to rot..yeah..i would see through his eyes man!! he took for granted everything i offered him, Everything... even me and what i felt for him... he even said it and im quoting " i know that w/e i do..ull forgive me, because u know i wuv u" yeah i did..my biggest mistake.. I feel like writing and writing with out stopping...but nah for what?..what will that do?..nothing..exactly.. its raining..i hear the raidrops shatter into my window...

(1 wish | wish upon a star ) this is all soo stupid already.... [11 Aug 2003|12:27am] [ mood | blank ] [ music | all american rejects *one more sad song* ] I sit here and just stare at thin air infront of me...i dont know what to say anymore... i hadnt talked to him for a while now...however today he imed me...he kind of tried laughing at me for something i did...but i just told him to get a life..and i blocked him before he could bitch at me... later on i unblocked him, once i thought he had gotten a chance to chill... I guess he did, but he still sent me another im....after that, we talked..not much..but atleast we didnt bitch at each other...i dont understand how he doesnt see what hes done all this time to me... All the shit that he tried pulling on me..all the little stupid games he played... lies, actions, words, decisions, change..man i have lied..but never to do any harm... U know what i laugh at the most?..him trying to make Me the guilty one...and saying shit like, "and she still thinks she hasnt done anything wrong" we both know who did what to whom... but fuck it..its over, i dont want to fight anymore... i know i have done things in the past that, well..werent too nice...but nothing compares to the shit hes done... Im not hurt, he doesnt hurt me anymore...but im disapointed, hes come a long way from what i used to think of him, to what i think of him now...very long way..its sad... He can say, think or opinionate, to whatever he wants about me... we both know its not true..he just makes himself believe in his own lies, his makebelieve stories of an event..... and everything to just feel good about himself.... to not see how shitty hes become... however i cant do anything anymore... like i said before.... tomorrow will be another day.... Focker Joe: u learned... Focker Joe: :-) FirerY RoSe: yeah..the hard way but i learned...:-/

(1 wish | wish upon a star ) ::rolls on the floor laughing::: ::dies laughing:: [10 Aug 2003|07:06pm] [ mood | amused ] [ music | michell brach *Id rather be in love* ] **Lol... Kenia has this program that u could put poeples faces in others bodies..lol..so what she did was that she pasted my face in that blond girl, and the guy is my dream guy..lol...with a makeover..kenia did it too..lol

(wish upon a star ) Some quotes i found rather interesting... [10 Aug 2003|03:07pm] [ mood | blank ] "I believe the saddest thing in life, is caring so much for someone and then one day you look into their eyes and listen to them talk and realize that they are gone. All you see in front of you is a stranger with just a known name." "Life is not about what I`ve done, what I should`ve done, what I could`ve done... it's about what I can do and what I will do." "You have to forgive to forget, and forget, to feel again." "When you become the victim of a hateful heart trust your soul and walk away." "It's never too late to be what you might have been." "The worst pain in the world is knowing that he meant everything to you but you meant nothing to him. But, life goes on once you realize your own strength inside of you: the strength to realize that saying goodbye doesn't mean that you don't love the person anymore or that you don't want to keep them in your life. It doesn't mean you're weak. It means that you've the strength to let go and live your life to the fullest because you've learned that life really is good. You are strong and can only be as happy as you choose." "I may regret the way we ended, but I will never regret what we had." "Why are you trying so hard to fit in when you were born to stand out?" "Someday, our ways will cross by, you will see the new me, and I will see the new you. But although changes occur in me, you'll see, that I'm still the same girl who's deeply in love with you." "In the end, you always go back to the people that were there in the beginning." Oh well..i'll post more later on...

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