|Wednesday, December 3rd, 2003|
This is the last Blurty entry I am ever going to make...|
Because I have a...
Woo for Live Journal.
|Tuesday, December 2nd, 2003|
I just got finished watching Final Destination 2 for the very first time. When the movie first came out, it looked as it it was going to be a really shitty movie, and I had no particular intention to get out and see it. But, I came home from work and saw it lying on the table, freshly rented from Blockbuster, so after everyone was tucked away nicely in their beds, I popped it on in the DVD player on the 56" in the living room, and watched it, which just ended. It was rather nice to my surprise. I liked the part where the dude got his shit split up by the barbedwire fence. That totally rocked the house.|
Now it has me thinking.. Does Death really have a plotted design for every event that manifests itself to ultimately become our fate? I have always believed that I am in full control of the outcomes of my decisions, and I couldn't accept the fact that I am not running my life. It's simply not feasible to comprehend that something greater owns my soul. So I made this final assumption...
If Death decides he needs to come get me for his "ultimate design,"
he better show his fire-ugly face when he gets here, because this
mother fucker isn't going down without fighting the war of all wars.
I don't have anything personal against Death, for he is simply doing
his job, but, if he starts doing his job in my area, he is crossing
boundries, and this kid will be turning John Edward on his ass to keep
himself among the living.
Also, I am off Tuesday and Wednesday, and I am looking for shit to do. So, if anybody can contribute, please step forth and reveal your ideas.
|Saturday, November 29th, 2003|
Well yipee-kay-yaa mother fuckers, the "decent" week I was having turned to hell really fast. Yesterday was amazingly horrible. I went into work at 8:30, left at 3:15, left BP and went to GameStop where I started at 3:30, and I worked until well after 10:00. So I ended up having about 14 hours yesterday. Ew. Then I had to be up and at work by 6 today, where I worked until what was supposed to be 2, but I left at 1:30. |
My knee hurts so bad. I slipped on some "black" ice taking garbage out and I twisted the pre-injured knee. It has been killing me all day.
Other than that, I have been pretty bored. I have had no free time between work and sleep. It's all I have done all week, I need something to do. Preferably some.. "entertainment."
I'll be here (dads) if you need me,
message me online or call me or text or something, I am so bored.
|Thursday, November 27th, 2003|
Well, I have had quite an eventful week so far. |
Wednesday, I went to Willis Music to pick up my concert tickets for Brand New, and little did I know, THEY PLANNED A PRIVATE ACOUSTIC SET FOR US. *ahem* Sorry, got carried away. Brand New is great. They are all really funny, and they had a nice little conversation with me about nothing as they signed autographs for me. They show was amazing as well.
To be perfectly honest, Straylight Run isn't that great. The lead singer hasn't the meter needed to be a "great" singer. He can't scale his voice from high to low without making weird noises.
Eisley was ok, if you like emo music mixed with Jewel as a singer. (haha, no offense Eisley) They were still great, just not my usual music genre.
Hot Rod Circuit... Need I say more? The just plain rocked the fucking house. I got a black eye moshing to this band.
Then there is Brand New. Exceptionally magnificent. They sound the same on radio as they do in concert, which is rare because of cheap studio modifications. But this band sure knows how to please a crowd.
Today was just hectic as hell, tomorrow will be worse. I work 8:30 to 3 then go to my other job and work 3:30 to 9:30, what a bunch of shit.
|Monday, November 24th, 2003|
I noticed that I updated pretty much every day for about a week before, then I stopped. I guess it was because I have been so pissed off over shit lately, that I haven't been able to express it in writing. Yeah, I realize that most of the people I know are stupid, shitty, or just somebody I don't really like. |
And there isn't really anything new here either. I just wish I lived in a place that didn't suck as much as this place does. I just want my own place to live in, where I can do whatever I want, whenever I want. It would be really nice to have my own rules.
A couple good things did come out of this weekend though. I found out for sure that 3 girls like me. I won't release their names, because they might not want certain public figures to become aware of this. But, it's nice to know that people really do like me. I mean, I'm not tryin to brag or anything, but I do know that girls like me. I don't really think I am "hot" persay, but I do know I can use words to get a lot of things, because I have charisma and charm, and I know how to treat a woman and I can make girls feel good about themselves and stuff. One of the girls who admitted to really liking me, I am actually surprised about, because, I have "been with" her before, even though we never went out, it was fun. But, she got a bf, and we stopped hanging out all together. Now, she told me she dreams about me and stuff, but she is all "in love" with this guy, so, I don't know. The other girl I just met not too long ago, so, I don't know about all that. And.. There is my ex. Still questioning what I should do there. I know she likes me, and I do like her, but, I don't know, because I have this theory about relationships... Once they fail, no matter how many times you try, it will continue to fail. Even though I am only in high school, and I don't plan on anything "serious" persay, I have been getting the urge to start something that might last. And I just don't think that any of the people who claim they like me, will be a lasting thing. Maybe just the girl who has the boyfriend, who I mentioned earlier. Because, I am really into her, she likes to be physical, and she flat out said, she really, really likes me, and if she didn't have a boyfriend, she would want to be with me. So, I don't know. I just don't want to get out of high school and ruin some poor girl's heart because I went away to college. Because I'm not going to NKU, or Thomas More, or some shit local college. I am going away, where I can meet new people, and start over somewhere new. I am not going to stick around this shitty city because some girl claims she is all 'boohoo" over me leaving. I have goals, and I can't sacrifice the biggest ones, such as college, life career, etc.
I think this entry is probably long enough, I have been writing for about 30 minutes now.
I will update soon.
|Friday, November 21st, 2003|
Ok, everyone listen closely.|
I hate hearing people bitch because I "never hang out with them," yet here it is, on a Friday night, and not one of you whiney fucking bastards call me or anything. Then tomorrow I will get to hear you bitch and complain because I didn't hang out with you. So, everyone, go to hell, and stop bitching to me. Because from now on, if you come bitching to me, I will simply tell you to shut the fuck up.
|Thursday, November 20th, 2003|
I don't really have anything to talk about. I have setting myself as well as other things on fire on lot lately. I don't know what really caused my recent infatuation with pyrotechnics lately, but I have always handled fire really well and managed to not get burned alot if any at all.
I realize now that almost any chances of me having someone I feel totally "compatible" with are slim to none, because high school girls are immature and like to play games. Well, I don't play games with any girl. In fact, fuck games. The whole "I like you, now I hate you, now be my best friend, now get away from me, hold me, don't touch me," shit is getting really old. I am tired of people thinking I am going to try and be psychic and read people's minds, because I am not going to. People need to learn to just say what they feel, or not say anything at all. It's my theory there are 2 types of men on this planet.
"Men who fight the battles."
"Men who are left behind."
The men who fight the battles are the ones who take advantage of every situation when they have the opportunity. The ones who always go for what they want, and stop at nothing to make sure they succeed. They are the "champions" and the "gladiators" who always come out on top.
The men who are left behind are the ones who hesistate when they need to move. They dream of things they want, but never really take action to make sure they succeed in their goals. These are the kind of guys who end up as a flat broke, single, hopeless romantic, in a dead end job at age 35, all because they never went for what they wanted.
As well, there are 2 kinds of women.
"Women who know what they want."
"Women who piddle-fuck around."
The women who know what they want are always with the men who fight the battles. They set their sights and do what it takes to acheive it. Whether it be men, money, work, etc, they always bring their A game with them everywhere they go.They don't play bullshit head games with people because they are too much of a coward to admit the truth.
The women who piddle-fuck around end up with the men who are left behind, or end up with no man at all. They don't know what they want in life, or are too afraid of going after a goal or a dream. They never do their best and they play games with people because they can't admit the truth and expect people to guess what they want, then complain when people don't get it right.
Anyway, I have realized that I have nothing to fear anymore, and I am not afraid to go after what I want. So if I want something, I am going after it, if not, then I don't want it all that bad obviously.
|Wednesday, November 19th, 2003|
Yeah so today in Hessler's 4th block, I was setting myself, and other on fire with body fruit spray and my lighter. Oh how fun it was. |
Then I went to the mall, and I lit my arm on fire with more body fruit spray and my lighter and I ran around outside screaming "IM ON FIRE OMG OMG OMG AHHHH!!!!!" waving my arm around and running in circles, until they kicked me out. Everybody was laughing, except mall piggy #3.
I am definately going to be setting myself on fire a lot more, because I am a master with fire and I know how to not get burned.
|Tuesday, November 18th, 2003|
What the fuck? |
Ok.. so I won 2 tickets on the 97.3 Channel Z Radio call-in contest to see Brand New at Bogart's and I got 2 backstage passes.
I told her (not mentioning name) that I was going to take her with me because she "loves" the band.
Then she goes out and gets 2 tickets for the concert.... UH... REALLY SMART.
So now I have to find someone to take with me to the Brand New show on the 26th.
I am hoping I can find a decently hot chick who likes me and then I will get a date out of it and that might turn into a decent relationship. Notice I said decent because I can never get one that works out because something has to always be fucked up about it.
I have a couple people in mind, but I am not sure if the one I like the most likes me back more than a friend, then I have another one is just not my usual type of girl, and I don't think a relationship with her would work so I want to save her the trouble. And lastly I could ask this other chick, but I don't think she likes the band at all, and she "claims" she doesn't like me, yet people have told me she does. So I dunno what the fuck to do right now I need to sit down and think for a while.
|Sunday, November 16th, 2003|
FenderStratMB: What's up?
youdontknowme304: shit u
FenderStratMB: Same with me as well.
youdontknowme304: talkin to my bitch
FenderStratMB: Do you go to boone?
youdontknowme304: what the fuck is boone
FenderStratMB: Where do you go to school then?
youdontknowme304: thats none of your damn buisiness
FenderStratMB: You spelt business* wrong.
youdontknowme304: well slap my ass and call me sally
FenderStratMB: No I'm fine just the way I am.
youdontknowme304: thats your choice
youdontknowme304: i bet your a fag
FenderStratMB: Actually it would be you're* as in you are in a contraction, but, no, I am not, and I bet you can't spell, and I am already right, because, obviously, you can't.
youdontknowme304: dur dur dur
youdontknowme304: you need a homo butt humper
youdontknowme304: are you goth?
FenderStratMB: No, I'm not, and I don't need a gay person for sex, my girlfriend is just fine.
youdontknowme304: yeah right, you dont have a gf
youdontknowme304: you homo
FenderStratMB: Oh, ok, and you know this, how?
youdontknowme304: stop trying to act smart
FenderStratMB: I mean, I'd really like to know how you know about my personal life.
youdontknowme304: you are making yourself sound like a fag in panties
FenderStratMB: I don't have to try, moron, I am smart, and you're just pissed because you don't have the same level of intelligence as me.
youdontknowme304: get your goth ass away from me
FenderStratMB: "fag in panties", real good one, that might have worked as an insult if I were 4 years old.
youdontknowme304: shut up.
youdontknowme304: you gothies are so gay looking
youdontknowme304: you all should be packed into a rocket and aimed at the sun
FenderStratMB: I think I already said, I'm not "goth." I don't wear make-up, and I don't worship Satan, so therefore I couldn't be considered a "goth."
youdontknowme304: not all goths worship satan and wear make-up, dumbass
FenderStratMB: Ok then, what is a "goth", because I'd really like to hear your definition.
youdontknowme304: There isn't a definition. "Goth" refers to a lifestyle years ago that now is only a fashion or style.
youdontknowme304: Not a lifestyle
FenderStratMB: And my ass probably is dumb, because my brains happen to be in my head, whereas I believe yours may possibly be located somewhere that isn't in your body.
youdontknowme304: That made some sense.
youdontknowme304: Get a life
FenderStratMB: I believe make-up is considered "fashion".
youdontknowme304: it is.
FenderStratMB: And I don't wear all black, which is considered a trait of a "goth."
youdontknowme304: True, but like I said, not all goths worship satan, wear make-up, or even wear all black
youdontknowme304: make sure you take time to correct your spelling errors
FenderStratMB: Right, well, then how am I considered a "goth" because you are not God, therefore what you say cannot always be true.
youdontknowme304: even though this is the internet.
youdontknowme304: Ok, well a preppie wouldn't write in red and black and wouldnt have a fuckin DEATH buddy icon.
youdontknowme304: So dont get offended when I call you a goth
youdontknowme304: I know how you posers dont like to be labeled
FenderStratMB: Red is my favorite color. And red matches with black very well. Thus the red on black layout. The "Death Buddy" icon is quite humorous, thus the reason I have it as my icon.
FenderStratMB: If I was a "goth", I wouldn't be angry for you calling me a "goth".
youdontknowme304: And you say I'm a bad speller
FenderStratMB: Not that I am angry anyway, because your existence on this planet isn't one important enough to anger me anyway.
FenderStratMB: Was to Were isn't incorrect spelling. That is incorrect grammar. Which may occur on some occasion, because I never said I was perfect. But it is still a fact that I didn't mispell it.
FenderStratMB: What's the matter Ms. Insults, did you run out of incoherent things to say?
youdontknowme304 signed off at 7:29:14 PM.
youdontknowme304 signed on at 7:31:15 PM.
youdontknowme304: Now what was your dumbass about to say?
youdontknowme304: make it a good one
FenderStratMB: I asked you if you ran out of things to say, because someone at your level of intelligence can't have too many insults to mix things up with.
youdontknowme304: you dont make any sense
youdontknowme304: Come on, say it bitch
FenderStratMB: Did my superior intelligence confuse you?
youdontknowme304: Oh god.
youdontknowme304: you need to get over yourself
FenderStratMB: You need to attend school a little more.
youdontknowme304: You need to eat my cock
FenderStratMB: How old are you anyway? I would estimate that you are around 12, maybe 13, and you have some parental problems. That would explain your attitude. Does your father touch you?
youdontknowme304: My father is dead.
youdontknowme304: Go to hell
FenderStratMB: Yeah, I'll think about it, but it is rather funny that your father just "happens" to be dead after I make an insult about you and he.
FenderStratMB: Is your mother dead too?
youdontknowme304: only my dad
youdontknowme304: Dont talk shit about my family
FenderStratMB: Oh, and I bet your cousins are all passed away as well, so I wouldn't want to start making fun of them either.
youdontknowme304: You have to be really low to make fun of something like that.
FenderStratMB: I am not talking shit about your family. I asked a simple question about you and your father.
youdontknowme304: And now your making fun of the subject
youdontknowme304: fuck off
FenderStratMB: Maybe I am really low. Did your father pass away painfully, or was it quick?
youdontknowme304: go away
Round 3! (Enter Friend of youdontknowme304)
sanity smells: Who the fuck is this?
sanity smells: I'm not going to be rude to you, but I'd like to know why you're talking to a 12 year old like that
FenderStratMB: Why don't you tell me who this is, you messaged me first.
sanity smells: My name is Bethany, thats all you need to know
FenderStratMB: Possibly because the 12 year old has a contagious disease, called "stupidity"
sanity smells: Well that 12 year old happens to be my best friends sister.
sanity smells: Making fun of her isn't going to win you points buddy, especially online
FenderStratMB: Well, maybe you should smack your best friend's sister's mother, for raising such an idiotic child.
sanity smells: I wouldn't say that to someone
sanity smells: How stupid would that be
sanity smells: Shes 12, when you were 12, I bet you were just as immature
FenderStratMB: And why would I be trying to win any points "online?"
sanity smells: Thats my question to you.
sanity smells: Why are you talking to 12 year olds anyways?
sanity smells: Your probably some 47 year old fat man who works at Dunkin Donuts
FenderStratMB: I believe the "12 year old" messaged me first.
FenderStratMB: And Dunkin' Donuts isn't that bad, they have good food, although I work at a much, larger, place of business.
sanity smells: Oh, whats that? Mc Donalds?
FenderStratMB: No, it's probably something you've never heard of before.
sanity smells: Well if it was a large business, I've probably heard of it.
sanity smells: So whats this place called then? Joe's Deli?
sanity smells: Look, I dont have time to argue with you. I don't know you, so have a nice life.
sanity smells: Next time, think about what your saying.
sanity smells: Death isn't funny.
FenderStratMB: Death is funny, when it's lied about.
FenderStratMB: I know who you are, and I know who your "12 year old" friend is, so don't think I am stupid.
sanity smells: Oh really now.
sanity smells: Since you know me so well, lets hear it.
FenderStratMB: I have spoken to both of these screen names before, and you and the "12 year old" are the same person.
sanity smells: Really?
FenderStratMB: Yes, but it would serve little purpose to inform you of who I know you are, because you would just simply deny it. I am not stupid, but obviously you and the "12 year old" are. I hope that your "little friend" has a nice time enjoying the "dead father."
Haha, I'm good. Nice try Jillian.
|Friday, November 14th, 2003|
Today is one of those days where I feel like doing something, but I don't want to make the effort to do it. I can't walk very well so I don't want to go to the mall or anywhere that requires me being on my feet, and I don't feel like driving much tonight. I was supposed to have the house to myself but my dad decided he wasn't going to the lake tonight. This sucks, I wanted to sit and home and invite people over. Now to do something I have to go out, unless by miracle chance he spends the night at his gf's house, which then would give me the house. Everyone either is unreachable or they don't want to do anything I want to do. This sucks. You suck. Everything Sucks.
|Wednesday, November 12th, 2003|
Some lovely friends I have. Today I was alone ALL day long. From 7 a.m until what will be around midnight tonight, and NOBODY would come over to see me, even after I had surgery and everything. Just goes to show what GREAT friends I have.|
I need someone more than ever. The solitude is almost homicidal. Loneliness is hell. I just wish I had someone who fit my criteria for a girlfriend. But I don't think it will happen anytime soon.
So I sit here and decay as the world around me goes to hell.
Have fun shitheads, it's almost over for you too.
|Tuesday, November 11th, 2003|
Wow, everything sucks now.|
I just had surgery on my knee.. and now for the next 6 days, I can't do jack shit. How lovely is life? Of all the times I ever wanted something, right now is the time I want it the most. I wish I had someone to be wish everyday. I have never had anything like that, and I probably never will. I am just too fucked up in the head to get anything like that.
I am going to go shoot away my problems in a game that involves weapons, blood, and death.
Until Next Time..
|Sunday, November 9th, 2003|
So I am having surgery... again.. as if anybody cared.|
I am not going to be able to go anywhere or do anything but sit on my ass for over a week.
And what's even worse is that nobody that is worth seeing, has the ability to get to my mom's house because she lives out of walking distance, and nobody's parents like me. So I get to be bored, in pain, and lonely from Tuesday, November 11th, all the way up until around the weekend of the 21st, by which is the time I may be allowed to drive again.
Isn't life just wonderful?
It's times like these I wish I had someone who I could be with all day, every day. And to know that when I am not with them, I can call them and they will be there. But I am not lucky enough to have that.
And the sad fact is the person who needs to know that the most, doesn't get on the computer and read these type of things that I write about them.
|Monday, November 3rd, 2003|
Well, I guess it is clearly obvious that nobody is reading these anymore.
|Saturday, November 1st, 2003|
Let's here it for Mike going to see a shrink on a weekly basis starting next week!
Apparently I have "issues" and "problems" that need to be examined by a head doctor!
|Friday, October 31st, 2003|
To everyone who is "supposedly" considered my "friend"|
I know now that the only time anybody wants to hang out with me, is when they have absolutely nothing else to do, because you all go out and do shit without letting me know, then give me some shit excuse like "Oh, I didn't think you wanted to come." or "I couldn't get ahold of you."
Well guess what dumb shits, if you fucking called me, YOU WOULD GET AHOLD OF ME. You have to make the effort first, then precede with the end judgement.
So all you fuckers can go have fun at your parties, that you didn't invite me to because, you "didn't think I wanted to come" and because you were too lazy to make an attempt and sapped it over by saying you "couldn't get ahold of me."
If you all don't want me around you, why the fuck are you my friends then? I don't need people like that.
So once again, to all the people who are "supposed" to be my "friends"
|Wednesday, October 29th, 2003|
It's amazing how incredibly stupid people are. I mean, seriously, why doesn't everyone just complain about all their problems to everyone, except for the person who is causing their problems? |
You think people would grow a fucking brain cell or two and realize "Hey, maybe if I confront the person/people causing my problems, I might be able to make the problems go away."
But no.. people can't do that, because that might make too much sense.
From now on, if anybody decides they want to bitch about something to me, unless I am the reason you are bitching, SHUT THE FUCK UP. Because I sure as hell don't want to hear about it, unless I ask you to tell me.
|Tuesday, October 28th, 2003|
And the verdict is...|
Another one bites the dust.
If you are wondering what I am talking about, maybe you should ask Kelley, she's the one to blame here. Honestly, I want to know exactly HOW THE FUCK I BITCHED AT YOU? Grow the fuck up. You flat out said, "I hate you" and preceded to call me an asshole. Well.
- I KNOW I AM AN ASSHOLE, AND I AM VERY PROUD OF IT.
- ENOUGH PEOPLE HATE ME AS IT IS, IT IS THE MOST USELESS THING IN THE WORLD TO TRY TO
INSULT ME WITH THE PHRASE "I HATE YOU."
You think I give a shit about people who say they hate me? NO. Why the hell should I care? Give me one good reason. I bet you can't even do that. Much less do anything but piss me off more than I already am. You knew, before you were ever close to being my friend, I could be the nicest guy, or I could be the meanest one. You chose to deliberately piss me off, and you thought I was going to be nice about it?
So you can go and get 2 things right now.
- A brain
- A new friend
Because unless you do some serious ass kissing really damn fast, you'll mean about as much to me as dirt.
Anybody else want to fuck with me?
|Monday, October 27th, 2003|
I know, I know|
Who likes getting their entire life taken away by 2 people who can't accept the fact they make mistakes?
Well It sure as hell isn't me.
Anyway. I am hoping I am not grounded next weekend. I had plans last Friday but they were so RUDELY taken away because of my parents. Also I had plans Saturday night, which were also forcefully cancelled because of, guess who, my parents. Next Friday (Halloween) I have a lot of things that I am looking forward to. If I am still grounded, I am going to have a big fight with my parents, which will probably end up in me getting the shit knocked out of me, or getting kicked out of my house, because that was already a threat that was made towards me if I didn't change my life style.
I am not changing the way I am for anybody. Not my parents, not school, not my friends, not any person who thinks their opinion matters, so forth and so on.
If you don't like who I am and/or how I live,
GET THE FUCK OUT because I don't give a shit. Maybe you should take a look this.
Nobody Matters But Me (This is a link jackasses, so click it and read on.)