| Long time no update |
[14 Apr 2008|08:56pm] |
Wow - It has been like FOREVER since I updated!
The reason why you ask! I have been doing very badly and I would just drag everyone down. I dont know what I can do though. I have been restricting a lot and purging several times most days, also the occasional big binge/purge. Of course, I havent lost any weight from it all so I am feeling very disheartened. I cant cope with this - I just want to be better.
What the hell am I going to do?
I am an intellegent 26 years old with everything in my favour, yet I insist on screwing up literally everything by allowing this eating disorder to control me.
This is going to kill me - I know that and I have for some time. There is no way I can behave the way I am and stay healthy. I dont have the energy to fight this anymore. I surrender, I hope it realises it has won and leaves me alone.
Limitless undying love which shines around me like a million suns and calls me on and on across the universe.
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