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[30 Dec 2007|09:05pm] |
As I am gaining more control over eating I am constantly thinking about how much I want to lose weight. There is such a part of me that wants to stop eating completely, but I know that doesnt really work.
I bought a web cam, and I cant help but look at pictures from it, and compare them to how I looked before, and it makes me sad. I think the saddest part is I know my weight is completely healthy for me now, but it just doesnt feel right. I dont like it. I look in the mirror and see healthy arms, even with the dysmorphia in the past I always knew my arms were a little thin. It just 'proves' the weight gain. I am also getting stressed out about the size of my legs. Dammit. I want to lose weight sensibly, but I just dont know if that is possible.
My new years resolution is going to be to get a grip! lol.
I am doing fantastically though. I havent been sick for about 4 days! My body has gone into shock :S
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