god it's been years since I've been on this stupid shit and everytime I look at it.. I laugh histerically :)
I was such a fool, such a god damned fool. but that's what happens when you're young and you don't know the difference between reality and falsities.
so.. as a quick update and probably my last ever blurty entry (it's cause me nothing but problems,) i will leave on the note of what is new in my life and shit.
so in 2 weeks it will be 3 years that i've been with my boyfriend, Bill. he means so much to me. i really am in love and to tell you the truth, dear blurty and blurty readers (if there are still any even out there) I wish that everyone could have a love like mine.
so i'm in college now.. maybe that's why i changed a bit (for the better, even though these changes started a long time ago)... I just changed my major from nursing to psychology. (maybe i'll finally figure out why there are some people who are complete assholes and fuck-ups and why maybe i'm so fucked up in the head myself. it's pretty cool though. i've met alot of fuckin awesome people who i consider to be my closest of friends and i also met a lot of people who i wanna punch in the fuckin face. i guess that's just how life goes, right? i work in an emergency room and get paid some pretty good cash (otherwise, i don't think i'd be there.)
the other thing is.. i learned a lot about myself and realized who i really am. i understand i'm really easy to talk to, i'm very easy to get along with, and i'm just a genuinly nice person when i wanna be but i've come to realize that so many people take advantage of that way too easily and it's just total bull shit. i've been quite fortunate to realize it when i did because if i waited much longer to figure it all out, there would have been very serious consequences. don't get me wrong. i've delt with a lot of shit in the past few years with people i won't mention and people i have mentioned. it didn't all go unnoticed. it didn't all just go away and disappear with a blink of the eye. it haunts me every day. every day i do something or say something that was way back when. it haunts me when i look at this stupid blurty (which i haven't done in quite some time in fear that something like this would happen and i start going off.) so for those of you that know or care, there were serious consequences for me from everything and no, i don't thank you for it.
on a brighter note... it's a nice day out and i'm going running. this feels really nice to just type here all that i've been feeling lately.. well not too lately. oh yah, back to the running thing. i'm out to loose some weight so yah. i figured i'd run and exercise some more and get back into shape. it feels good to do that for myself for once since i spent a lifetime not knowing what it feels like to know i look good. hm what else is there to say?
this is me. this is my life. this is not yours, or anyone elses. this is truth. this is real. yes, there's sorrow and pain and suffering but at the end of the day, if you don't kiss and make up, you never know if you'll ever get that chance again. so for all those dreamers, those believers, those lovers and fighters, go after what you want. don't stay in one place, move around, get the feel of things, and then move forward.
as a final note, life is good. life is wonderful. life is perfect.
It's been a tough road. A long road. One with thousands of twists and turns and once you think you've finally figured it all out, it changes.
That's what my life is like right at this very moment. I thought I had it all figured out and it's completely changed. I know I haven't written on here in quite a while but I think I need to start again. There's so much on my mind that I need to get down somewhere so maybe I can be alright.
Things with my boyfriend are great, they couldn't be better and I'm quite happy about that. We're going on vacation to my house in DE in about 7 days. So hopefully we will have a good time. We have had our ups and downs lately, but I knew that would happen sooner or later. Peace can't last forever.
There is something that just happend that made me want to start writing again and I wish it wasn't the reason for this constant need. There has recently, well in the past few hours, been a big change in my way of life, in everything i know. I miss my best friend, more than I can begin to say and things have just changed so drastically, I don't know where to begin.
I never knew a lot of things until today. And a lot of these things shook me and flipped my world upside down and I don't know how to fix it, I don't know if it can be fixed. I've learned that sometimes my gut feeling is right and sometimes it is wrong. And that it's okay to love someone but be prepared to have some difficulties. I love him. I truly do with all my heart. This is just really hard to get to know someone all over again after you though you've known someone for two years. If he actually sees this, which will be quite interesting, he'll probably get mad that I'm writing all of this down but I have to, so I apologize now. It's hard to be alright when someone you've known for two years decides to tell you their innermost secrets and tells you they are leading two completely different lives: the life with you and the life without you. It's strange, you know, how one day you could be perfectly content with the way your life is going and the next day, you want to throw yourself off the roof. I wish I could just scream right now but I have no voice to even do so. My tears have run dry, I can't breathe right and my heart is killing me. I'm honestly ripped in two. Scratch that, my tears haven't run dry yet, I'm still crying. I want to tell him that I understand that he didn't tell me everything but at the same time I can't because this hurts so much and I don't think he sees what it's truly doing to me. I didn't know so many different things until now and I'm in complete shock. This just really kills me to know that so many things were a lie and I can't even talk about them. The only other person I can run to would be in complete and total shock of hearing this that something horiffic would result and that would kill me as well. I think I'm digging myself into a huge hole, yah, that's what I really think it is right about now. This pain is probably the worst I've ever felt in my entire life despite what I have said in the past. I really need a cig and some alcohol right now, I think that would just settle me down a bit but I can't even do any of that anymore because of promises I've made. I just want things to be how they used to be, with no regrets, no lies (or what I thought was no lies), and just completely open. I feel like such a bitch, such a demanding bitch, saying that I'm not waiting forever. God damn it I'll wait until after I die if I have to at this point. I just don't want to wait that long because I honestly don't think I can. My stomach is in knots, I'm all choked up, I haven't really eaten today and I'm not going to eat dinner, at least I don't think I want to. My family is worried about me. Everyone else probably is too. I'm not worried about me anymore. I can't leave. I just can't leave I FUCKING CANT LEAVE! And I can't not love him. Because deep down inside I know the person I know is still there, hanging on to thoughts of me and thats all I need to stay. I know that I could lose someone by having him stay but if that's the way it happens, that's what it's going to be. Best friends come first, they always have and that's how it has to be. I just have to be open. I have to be optimistic that things will get better and everything will be alright. I just want to see him. But I think I will soon. After today, I think things will start becoming better. Because they have hit the bottom and there's only one way from there, and that's up. I kinda hope that he reads this but at the same time, I just want to make this post completely disappear. I feel really sick. Like the dizzy, I'm going to puke, didn't eat, can't close my eyes type of sick. So I think I'll end it with this final note: No matter what, through it all, all I need is my best friend to help me through it all and without him, life is nothing. If you're a bird, I'm a bird.
|you stood at your door with your hands on my waist
1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT?
my hip.... me and my dad went roller skating down the wheelchair thing at the st. francis church (when that part was still there)...... i spun off the bottom of it and slid across the pavement.... my whole side and leg was cut.
2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?
posters (kurt cobain, green day, and system of a down) and a few lyrics
3. WHAT DOES YOUR CELL PHONE LOOK LIKE?
its an lg... one of the newer ones... it has a screen with play buttons and whatnot on the front with a video on the front screen... and its blue
4. WHAT MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO?
a bit of everything
5. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN?
6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?
other than tomorrow to come - to see my best friend. i think its time.
7. WHAT DO YOU MISS?
8. WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION/S?
my music and writing
9. WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN?
taurus/gemini - im on the border of both
10. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC?
only on registers one and two at shopshit
11. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK?
only when i know someone is there
12. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY?
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOGNE / PERFUME?
on me - abercrombie and fitch 8 on him - rpm
14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?
hair doesnt matter... eyes either brown or blue.
15. WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF BEING PROPOSED TO?
not sure where
16. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINK?
17. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING?
18. IF YOU CAN EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
19. WHO IS THE LAST PERSON YOU MADE MAD?
20. WHAT WAS THE FIRST GIFT SOMEONE EVER GAVE YOU?
21. DO YOU LIKE ANYBODY?
23. ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED?
not that i can think of
24. FAVORITE CLOTHING BRAND?
25. WHAT'S YOUR DREAM CAR?
not sure... either some sports car... or or a corvette... or or a cavaliere lmao
26. DO YOU HAVE A PET RIGHT NOW?
27. WHAT KIND IS IT?
28. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING?
you cant help falling in love
29. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU?
face to face. or just a way that you can hear their voice. never wait. tell them when you feel it, when you truly feel it.
30. SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED:
31. BLONDES OR BRUNETTES?
32. WHAT IS THE ONE NUMBER YOU CALL OFTEN?
Bill's and Nick's and my Mom's
33. WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST?
theres a lot that annoys me... haskell hoes haahahahahaha they piss me off.. and that group of girls that wanted to kick my ass on the lunch line. and mr stanger. yup
34. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF THE USA?
35. YOUR WEAKNESSES?
love. that may not make sense. but its a weakness
37. FIRST JOB?
baby sitting.. but thats not a real job.. then bk for like a week, i dont consider that a job either.. so shoprite for over a year and a half
38. EVER DONE A PRANK CALL?
yah and sadly, i still get some every once in awhile.. its pretty gay now when you're older.. so quit it
40. IF YOU COULD GET PLASTIC SURGERY WHAT WOULD IT BE?
none for me... im not perfect but id ont wanna be perfect
41. WHY DID YOU FILL OUT THIS SURVEY?
42. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST?
43. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF ALCOHOL BECAME ILLEGAL?
wouldn't really care
44. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?
45. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT?
2 - one boy one girl.. maybe 3 - two boys and 1 girl
46. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
my great grandmother i think idk
47. DO YOU WISH ON STARS?
all the time. i want to make a wish on one now actually
48. WHAT DID YOU DO THIS MORNING?
slept in cuz of no school
49. WHAT DID YOU LAST EAT?
waffles and ice cream
50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
51. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
52. ANY BAD HABITS?
pocrastination, putting myself down, biting my nails and lip.. um yah
53. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING CD ON THE SHELF?
wayyyyyy too many
54. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOURSELF?
55. HAVE YOU EVER TOLD A SECRET YOU SWORE NOT TO TELL?
yea but who hasnt
56. DO LOOKS MATTER?
57. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER?
cry, write, sing, complain
58. WHERE IS YOUR SECOND HOME?
everyone is always here my second home is shoprite.. thats sad
60. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD?
61. HOW MANY NUMBERS ARE IN YOUR CELL PHONE?
143 i think
63. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
64. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A MOSH PIT?
65. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY/GIRL?
ive got these two guys. who are everything i want. bill and nick. take a look at them and there ya go
66. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES?
sar, sars, sarababe, sara beans, circa, and one other thats not often used lol
70. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?
72. WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE COLOR(S)?
pink and red
73. WHO/WHAT DO YOU MISS MOST RIGHT NOW?
74. HOW MANY WISDOM TEETH DO YOU HAVE?
when friday is over.... then 0
75. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
i dont care
76. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO?
i was listening to dbc
77. LAST THING YOU DRANK?
78. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
79. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX?
80. FAVORITE THOUGHT PROVOKING SONG?
i have no idea
81. FAVORITE THING TO HATE?
82. FAVORITE DRINK(S)?
vitamin water and coke zero and just water
83. FAVORITE ZODIAC SIGN:
84. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SPORT?
im forced to watch football.. so football and fencing
85. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR?
86. EYE COLOR?
88. FAVORITE ANIMAL?
cats n penguins n emus n llamas
89. FAVORITE MONTH?
april n may
90. YOU LIKE SUSHI?
91. LAST THING YOU WATCHED?
um..... something on a tsunami.. it was a weird show on scifi
92. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR?
um april 23 n march 1
93. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT?
94. SUMMER OR WINTER?
95. KISSES OR HUGS?
96. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS?
97. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT?
ummm... pizza bagel things n a soda
98. WHO IS THE LEAST LIKELY TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
99. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING?
wuthering heights for english
100. ANYONE LIKE YOU?
music: she drove me to daytime television - funeral for a friend
[x] I wear pink.
[x] I’ve acted slutty.
[x] I’ve dyed my hair.
[x] I’ve had blonde moments.
[x] I’ve danced around in my underwear.
[x] I like(d) the Spice Girls.
[x] I wear makeup.
[x] I’ve snuck out to meet boys/snuck guys in. (just to hang outside my house)
[x] I keep/kept a diary.
[x] I love chocolate.
[x] Chick Flicks make me cry.
[x] I’ve drank.
[x] I still need my girl time.
[x] It takes me at least an hour to get ready.
 I still have sleep overs with my girls. (not for awhile)
 I love doing my hair.
 I’m cute and I know it.
 I’m NOT cute and I know it.
Trucks are pretty much hot.
[x] I have low self-esteem.
I’ve given a guy a fake number.
[x]I’ve been honked at going down the road.
[x] I’ve been hit on in public.
[x] I’ve been called a slut.
 I probably deserved being called a slut.
 I’ve gone commando.
 I’ve been asked for my number by a guy I’ve just met.
 I gave him my number.
 I’ve asked a guy for his number who I just met.
[?] My friends over-rule everything else
[?] Guys over-rule everything else.
 I like pop music.
[x] I love singing.
[x] I love dancing.
[x] I’ve pulled hair when I got in a fight.
[x] I’ve took a shot to a guys nuts.
 My boobs are too big.
 My boobs are too small.
 My boobs are fine, thanks.
[x] Why are we talking about boobs?
 Football players are hot. (only some... not really though.. that was the old sara)
[x] I have my belly button pierced.
 I have my tongue pierced.
[x] I have other body parts pierced.
 I own a vibrator
 I have watched porn.
 I have played/cheated on a girl.
 I’ve slept naked.
 I play video games.
 I wear boxers to bed.
 I’ve thrown rocks at a girl’s window.
 I’ve drank because I felt like it.
 I still beat my buddies up.
 Of course they never beat me up.
 I drive a truck.
 I drive some type of car
 I have a job.
 I have more than one job.
 I currently have a girlfriend.
 My girlfriend is better than yours.
 I’m cocky.
 I’ve forgotten to return a phone call to a girl.
 Not all guys are the same, I’m one of the different ones.
 I'd do anything for my girl.
 I’m not in love.
 I’ve honked at a girl going down the road.
 I’ve hit on a girl in public.
I’ve asked a hot girl for her number that I just met.
 I’ve acted like a man whore.
 Pamela Anderson is hot.
 Sports over-rule everything else.... besides sex
 I like rock music.
 I like rap music.
 I’ve been suspended.
 I’ve gotten detention.
 The whole "if a guy has big feet.." thing is true.
 Cheerleaders are hot.
 I have a tattoo.
 I still play w/ Barbies.
 I still watch cartoons on Saturdays. (if i was home on sat. mornings then i would)
[x] I eat Lucky Charms.
[x] I go trick or treating. (haha.. the best times with great people "I'm the only vagina here!! aghhh!" as i run away scared)
 I’ve taken a bubble bath in the last month.
[x] I have water balloon fights with my friends.
 I still believe in Santa!
 Mommy’s still the coolest person ever.
 I sleep till noon.
 I still pass out little Valentines Day cards on Valentines Day.
 The boy/girl that sits next to me is cute
[x] I still drink apple juice.
 I sleep in my mom/dads room when I get scared.
[x] There are monsters in my closet.
 I can't sleep with the lights off
[x] I can’t sleep with the lights on
[x] I still like piggy back rides.
[x] Boys/girls still make me giggle.
[x]Boys/girls still have cooties
The oposite sex has a smaller brain.
|| Read 1 - Post
|i found you here now please just stay for awhile
Put a * by what's true...
music: seize the day - a7x
I am bisexual or homosexual.
I've consumed alcohol.*
I've run away from home.
I have lied to my parents about where I am. *
I don't like Bush because he is dumb. * (there are many other reasons too)
I don't like Bush with my own reasons to back it up. *
I am for Bush.
I listen to political music. **
I collect comic books.
I am shorter than 5'5.*
I think I'm ugly, even sometimes. *
I shut others out when I'm depressed. *
I open up to others easily.
I am keeping a secret from the world. *
I watch the news.
I own over 5 rap CDs. * (that was a horrible passing stage)
I own an iPod or MP3. *
I own multiple designer purses, costing over $100 a piece.
I own something from Hot Topic. **
I own something from Pac Sun.**
I own something from The Gap. * (yuck)
I own something I got on e-bay. * (but i gave it as an x-mas present so i really don't own it)
I love Disney Movies. *
I am a sucker for hair/eyes.* eyes man... eyes
I don't kill bugs.
I curse regularly. *
I paid for that cell phone ring. *
I am a sports fanatic.
I have "x"s in my screen name. * (only my aol name)
I've slipped out an "lol" in a real conversation. *
I love Spam.
I bake well. *
I would wear pajamas to school. * (freshman year... pj fridays)
I own something from Abercrombie. *
I have a job. *
I love Martha Stewart.
I am in love with love. *
I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
I am self conscious.*
I like to laugh.*
I smoke a pack a day.
I loved/Liked Perks of Being a Wallflower. (havent read it yet)
I loved/Liked Go Ask Alice.
I have cough drops when I'm not sick. *
I can't swallow pills.
I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem *
I eat fast food weekly.
I have many scars. *
I believe in ghosts. *
I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room. *
I am really ticklish. * (dependent on the person who tickles me.. i dont know why lol)
I see a therapist.
I love white chocolate. *
I bite my nails. *
I am comfortable with being me. *
I play video games. * (ddr addiction)
I'm in a relationship. *** 9 months ***
Gotten lost in your city. *
Saw a shooting star. * (he always points them out for me and have made many wishes upon them)
Wished on a shooting star. * (all the time)
Saw a meteor shower.
I had a serious surgery. (in feb i will be having serious surgery kinda sorta)
Gone out in public in your pajamas.*
I have kissed a stranger.
Hugged a stranger. *
Been in a fist fight. *
Laughed and had milk/or another drink come out of your nose.
Pushed all the buttons on an elevator * (with my mom on a cruise... we were superman also in the elevators... haha we are so much fun. i love my mom)
Made out in an elevator.
Swore at your parents. *
Kicked a guy where it hurts. * (as a joke... not much contact was made)
Been close to love. *
Been to a casino. *
Broken a bone.
Skipped school. *
Saw a therapist.
Played spin the bottle. *
Gotten stitches. (not yet)
Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
Been to Niagara Falls. (not yet)
Gotten the chicken pox.*
Kissed a member of the same sex. *
Crashed into a friend's car.
Been to Japan.
Ridden in a taxi. *
Been fired. *
Ever had a crush on someone of the same sex.
Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back. *
Stole something from your job.
Gone on a blind date.
Lied to a friend. *
Had a crush on a teacher.
Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
Been to Europe.
Slept with a co-worker. (well, im in a relationship with a co-worker, does that count?)
Saw someone dying. *
Been to Africa.
Driven over 400 miles in one day.*
Been to Canada. *
Been to Mexico. *
Been on a plane. *
Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show. *
Thrown up in a bar.
Eaten Sushi. *
Been snowboarding. *
Met someone in person from the internet. *
Been to a moto cross show.
Lost a child.
Gone to college.
Done hard drugs.
Had someone cheat on you. *
Miss someone right now. *
Taken painkillers when you didn't need them.
Been in love. ************ yup, im in love now
Cheated in a relationship.
Woke up crying. *
Cried yourself to sleep. *
Peed from laughing.
Had sex. *
Had sex in a car.
Had sex in public.
Had sex in the shower.
Had sex in a sibling's bed.
Had sex in a parent's bed.
|| Read 2 - Post
|today is your day, today is our day, making up for lost time, making a scene oh yah
01. Eyeliner or mascara? both
music: lasting impressions - the starting line
02. Louis vuttion or dooney & burke? neither
03. American eagle or hollister? hollister
04. Dolce and Gabanna or Louis Vuttion? neither
05. Skirts or pants? pants
06. Socks or leggings? leggings
07. Hoodies or jackets? hoodies
08. Heels or sneakers? both
09. Straight or curly hair? straight
10. Hoop or dangling earrings? dangling
11. Side bangs or one lengthed? side bangs cuz they're hot
12. Gemma ward or adrianna lima? adrianna lima
13. White or black? black
14. victoria's secret or bath and body works? victorias secret
15. Smoothies or lattes? smoothies
16. Diet or regular sodas? diet
17. Water or daquiris? daquiris
18. Pearls or diamonds? diamonds
19. Vinatge or boho? vintage
20. Marykate or Ashley Olsen? neither!
21. Thin or fat? um... in between?
22. Ipod or cell phone? bothh
23. Friends or family? family... my mom has adopted every single one of my friends anyway
24. Lip gloss or lip stick? Lip gloss
25. Manicure or pedicures? manicure
26. Mac or sephora? um... sephora?
27. Tank tops or beaters? tank tops
28. tiffany's or chanel? tiffanys
29. Love or peace? Love
30. Sunglasses or purses? purses
X what you have:
[x] an ipod.
[ ] a tiffany's bracelet.
[x(fake)] a Louis vuttion purse
[x] a computer.
[x] a cd player.
[x] a stereo.
[ ] a spice girl cd.
[x] a cosmo girl magazine.
[x] a teddy bear.
[x] a build a bear.
[ ] an American eagle purse.
[ ] hollister jeans.
[x] a hot topic shirt.
[x] a cell phone.
[x] an aeropostale shirt.
[ ] a big screen TV.
[x] the mean girls dvd.
[x] a TV in my room.
[ ] a big bed.
[x] a brother or sister.
[x] a diamond ring. (it's a diamond and ruby ring.. i have 2)
[x] a pearl necklace. (my mom gave it to me)
[ ] a prom dress.
[x] a book.
[x] a myspace. obviously
[ ] curious perfume.
[ ] g-unit sneakers.
[x] a black shirt.
[ ]abercrombie skirt
[x] rap cd
[x]diary or journal
[x] pink nail polish
Do you know exactly where the blush goes? i dont wear blush.. but it goes on your cheekbones
Would you say you know how to put on make up? yah
What colors bring out your skin tone? that really doesnt matter to me... lol
Do you know how to french braid hair? nope
Do you have a specific color of cover up or foundation you wear for your skin? um.. if im tan - revlon medium/deep otherwise - cover girl something or other
Do you wash your face atleast once a day? yah
Do you know what kind of lip gloss can make your teeth whiter? um no?
Do you use an eyelash curler? no way
How many colors of eyeshadow do you own? a lot that i dont use..
Which colors? ummm.. like i said probably all the colors of the rainbow that i never use.. i only rarely use this pinkish-white one
Do you use water proof mascara? its a must
how much do you pay for make up? a lot but i dont really need to buy it too much
Does toothpaste really help acne? nope
How many times aday do you apply lipgloss/stick? um.... i only use stick right now but the one im using like 4 times a day is a gloss type stick its odd but hawt
Which shampoo and conditioner do you use? ummmm.... victorias secret or herbal essences or sauve or vo8 or something like that
|| Read 2 - Post
|bittersweet migrane in my head
this week has probably been one of the hardest weeks of my life
music: Give Me Novacaine - Green Day
not only did i find out that i'm having surgery on feb 17th, i got into a fight with someone who means the world to me.
i know he's the only one who will read this so i may as well just come out with everything. i'm still going to be hurting for awhile because those things you said are imbeded into my mind now. i still need time to just think things through and it will take me awhile to fully forgive you. like i told you, you need to understand where i come from and how my emotions play out. i thought you knew how sensitive i am and that it hurts to hear things like that. this isn't the first time someone has said something like this to me but the difference was last time it was said, it was said from the person i was with, and obviously that wasn't Bill. so obviously, you know who it came from, but then it didn't mean a thing because i knew that was destined for tragedy. no matter how things may play out, you're always my best friend, that's just the way it is. i just need you to realize who i am i guess. and i fully understand why you said those things but i didn't understand nor do i understand now why you said those things to me in the manner that you did. if i seem distant, i appologize. i just don't know how to act any other way than this way. i just wish this all went down differently. i know i've hurt you and i'm sorry about that but the only way that i could have prevented hurting you was by doing something that isn't who i am. you know how much you mean to me, or at least you should know and that's what i can offer you. i can offer frienship, compassion, trust, honesty, caring, and love in the best friend form. but that's all.
so in closing, i'll appologize again for the pain i've caused and remind you that i still do have to worry even though you say i shouldn't, because that's what friends do, they worry.
on a different note. today i have to stay after school for yearbook pics for Road Show and a Road Show meeting (I believe) and I have to go take a french test next block. je ne pas bonne chance. (i dont think i wrote that right but oh well.) and then tonight Bill is coming over which I'm excited about. he takes away a lot of the worries in my head and just makes everything alright again, I really don't know what I'd do without him in my life. sigh, I love him so much. alright I'm done. I'll write some other time.
|| Read 1 - Post
HAVE YOU EVER...
x. Gotten in a fight with your pet: yah, when my cat like runs around like a madman and like trys to trip me yup
x. Been to NYC: yah
x. Florida: i own a timeshare thing there so every year man
x. California: once.. when i was like 5.. i need to go back tho
x. Alaska: i want to so bad on a cruise its supposably the most amazing and beautiful cruise you could ever take
x. Hawaii: not really
x. Mexico: yah... all around cancun and cozmel or however u spell it
x. Canada: yah grandma owns a house in maine and its like half an hour away to um quebec or something so yup
x. Dreamed something really crazy and then it happened the next day: yah.. that shit is nuts
x. Had an imaginary friend: when i was really little i may have lol
x. Red or blue: red
x. Spring or Fall: spring
x. Are you bored: obviously
x. Last noise you heard: a7x on my ipod
x. Last time you went out of the state: um... on x-mas.. and i just got back on new years day
x. Things you like in a girl/guy: my guy has to be genuine and unique.... and if you really want specifics.. just go look at the two guys in my life.. my boyfriend Bill and my best friend Nick.. they've got all the qualities
x. Do you have a crush on someone: obviously.. for over 8 months lol
x. What book are you reading now: Black House by SK
x. Worst feeling in the world: rejection
x. What is the first thing you think when you wake up: back to bed!
x. How many rings before you answer: um... whenever i get to the phone? idk
x. Future daughter's name: not sure
x. Future son's name: kristopher
x. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: yup my little pink puppy dog bill got me at the state fair <3
x. If you could have any job you wanted, what would it be: a novelist... the best
x. Are you a lefty, righty or ambidextrous: righty
x. Do you type with your fingers on the right keys: all the time
x. What's under your bed: my memory boxes... all old notes, pictures, stupid stuff i saved from my past that will actually be thrown away soon
x. Favorite sport to watch: im forced to watch college football til 1am so i guess football
x. Current Age: 16
x. Siblings: Liane
x. Location: Haskell
x. College plans: dunno where yet.. but i'm going
x. Piercings: 2 in each ear and bellybutton
x. Do you do drugs: never
x. Do you drink: special occassions only
x. Who is your best friend: Bill and Nick
x. What kind of shampoo and conditioner do you use: um whatever is in my shower? lol... Victoria's Secret
x. What are you most scared of: losing those i love and being alone for the rest of my life
x. What clothes do you sleep in: either shorts and a t-shirt, shorts and a tank top, pj pants/capris and a shirt or tank
x. Who is the last person that called you: mommy
x. Where do you want to get married: I've always wanted to in just a field with flowers surrounding me.. but if you want a place.. Ringwood Mannor in the spring time or the winter... spring when all the flowers are in bloom or winter with snow falling from the sky and red roses all around.. yup
x. Favorite number: 23 maybe
x. Been in love: yes, i am currently in love
x. What type automobile do you drive: my moms mitsuibishi... cuz i dont have one yet
x. Are you timely or always late: a bit of both
x. Do you have a job: yah.. shopshit cashier/slave
x. Do you like being around people: sometimes
x. Best feeling in the world: love
x. Are you for world peace: yah
x. Are you a health freak: nah
x. Have you ever loved someone you had no chance with: maybe
x. Have you ever cried over something someone of the opposite sex did: yah
x. Do you have a "type" of person you always go after: no
x. Are you lonely right now: yes... it's lonely at school...
x. Ever afraid you'll never get married: every once in awhile
x. Do you want to get married: yes
x. Do you want kids: yes
x. Room in house: back livingroom
x. Type(s) of music: punk rock, rock, classic rock, emo, alternative
x. Band: wayy too many
x. Memory: too many...
x. Day of the week: thursday and saturday
x. Color: red and pink
x. Perfume or cologne: on me - Abercrombie and Fitch 8 or Lacoste Pour Femme on him - RPM <333 sigh
x. Month: may
Who is your favorite person to hang out with?: Bill, my TOC crew, Kristin, Chels (Nick would be in here too but I'm waitin to chill lol)
Why? because Bill is the love of my life and every moment with him is beyond words and everything is just right when i'm with him.. my toc crew because they are all flippin awesome and we've had such good times, kristin because we dance like mofos on crack and sing gc when we hate them more than anything and we are on reggaeton together lol, chels because shes chels! she's been there through a lot even though we have our moments thats how we do, and nick because he's my biffle, my best friend, he means the world to me and more because he's such an amazing guy that i thankfully have the pleasure of knowing
If you could tell one of your friends to stop something in their life who would it be and what would you say? nick knows all those things already... krisitn, don't listen to what others say bout you know who, he's yours he loves you... chels, don't do something you'll regret
Who makes you feel young? um everyone
Who makes you feel old? if im have a serious converstaion, anyone can
What is one of the worse things you have ever done to one of your friends? maybe went out with someone they liked
What is your name and what does it mean? Sara - Princess (no lie.. it means it in Hebrew)
What is one thing you like most about the opposite sex? hmm thats a hard one. idk
If you could do anything without any consequences what would it be? not sure
Who intimidates you the most? a lot of people do
When is the last time you cried? maybe 2 days ago
What was it that made you cry? serious topic that came up that just worries me constantly
If you could change one thing you did in the last 24 hours what would it be and why? duno
What is one thing someone can do that would turn you on completely, both physically and mentally? haha thats for me to know and you to not?
How do you think you are different from those you know? my mindset is much different than most.. my beliefs are different who knows
What do you think is the most important thing in any relationship? compassion, trust, honesty, pure love, faithfullness.. list goes on, trust me
List 3 changes you have notices about yourself lately: i got a tan.. thats it lol
What are you wearing? red green day shirt, black green day zip-up, tilt jeans, vans, pink socks, and everything else needed
What is the best advice you have ever recieved? there's a lot of that so idk
Do you have more guy friends or more girl friends? guy
What would you like to try to do naked for the first time? no idea
What do you find hard to understand about the other gender? if a girl knew everything she needed to know about a guy, the world would be in complete chaos that's why we don't know everything about the opposite gender, so i don't wanna know anything
Do you prefer getting to know someone before dating them or going in blind? getting to know them
What is your honest opinion about sex without emotional commitments? wrong
First job: babysitting
First screen name: sarao52189 i think
First self purchased cd: not sure
First funeral: grandpa frank <3 always missed
First piercing/tattoos: Ears
First credit card: n/a
First true love: um.. now w/ Bill
First enemy: hahaha brianne... this chick that i went to like preschool and kindergarten with because we both liked the same boy.. haha i just talked to that guy for the first time in years yesterday lol
First big trip: nj to fl i think
First concert: n'sync w/ soul decision
First musician you remember hearing in your house: um... god i have no idea
First kiss: 7th.. kevin (yuck)
First relationship: real relationship? 7th grade
Last big car ride: big big one... that was the summer
Last kiss: sunday <3 .. and then if i did this later on today, i would say tonight <3333333
Last library book checked out: no idea, i rather buy books than get them from the library.. i like new books
Last movie seen: um.... no idea
Last beverage drank: water
Last food consumed: cake
Last phone call: mom.. but real phone call either bill or nick
Last cd played: a7x - city of evil
Last annoyance: chem class
Last soda drank: coke zero
Last ice cream eaten: half baked
Last time scolded: duno
Last shirt worn: red green day shirt
Last website visited: blurty
Last relationship: um this one... now with Bill <3
YES or NO
You keep a diary: yes
You like to cook: yah
You have a secret you ave not shared with anyone: duno
CURRENT HAIR COLOR: brown
EYE COLOR: brown
BIRTHPLACE: chilton hospital
IN THE LAST 24 HOURS, HAVE YOU
Helped someone? yah
Bought something? i would have if he let me pay for it.. SWEATSHIRTTT!
Gotten sick? yah
Gone to the movies? No
Gone out for dinner? no
Said I love you? yup and completely meant it
Written a real letter? no
Talked to an ex? no
Missed an ex? no way in hell
Written in a journal? this one
Had a serious talk? yah
Missed someone? of course
Hugged someone? yah
Fought with your parents? no
Fought with a friend? um yah
|| Read 1 - Post
|lets commit the perfect crime
When was the last time you really cried your heart out?: um the other night i think
Ever cried yourself to sleep?: yes
Ever cried on your friend's shoulder?: many times
Ever cried over the opposite sex?: yes
Do you cry when you get an injury?: only if im in serious amounts of pain
Do certain songs make you cry?: oh yah
Are you a happy person?: yup yup
What can make you happy?: Bill <3.. most of my friends, nickipoobearpants
Do you wish you were happier?: im pretty damn happy, any more happy may make me loony and i dont wanna go to the loony bin thanks very much
What makes you the happiest?: too many things.. stupid things, romantic things, crazy things, you name it im happy
Is being happy overrated?: no way!
Can music make you happy?: just makes me feel better
How many times have you had your heart broken?: a few
Do you still have feelings for any of your old significant others?: none what-so-ever for my old sig. others yuck
Have you ever loved someone so much that you'd die for them?: yah.. but that doesnt just apply in relationships, it also does in friendships
Did you ever love a guy/girl, tell them that and only got a thanks?: yah, it sucks ass
Has anyone besides your friends and family ever said 'i love you' to you?: yup <3
Who do you actually hate?: a few.. select people.. agh
Ever made a hit list? haha yes, but that was a complete joke
Have you ever been on a hit list?: more than likely
Are you a mean bully?: i can be mean, but im not a bully
Do you hate George Bush?: ... i will be shot if i answer this question honestly
SELF ESTEEM SECTION...
Is your self-esteem extremely low?: sometimes
Do you believe in yourself?: sometimes
When people say they think you are good looking, do you deny you are?: usually.. until they say it like they mean it and then i believe them because you can only believe a compliment when you are looked in the eyes and it sounds like they mean it
Do you wish you can be someone else?: nope
 done crack.
 done PCP.
 done prescription narcotics for recreational purposes.
 huffed air-duster.
 been to a rave.
[x] ridden in a taxi.
 jumped a ramp with a bike.
[x] been dumped.
[x] been used.
 ran from the cops.
[x] been in a room of your school that you could get suspended for being in
[x] been fired
 been kicked out of a movie theater.
[x] snuck into a movie.
 been in a fist fight.
 got hit by a car.
 fired a real gun.
[x] snuck out of the house.
 been arrested.
[x] gone in a mosh pit.
 stolen something from your school.
 Celebrated new years in times square.
 Gone on a blind date.
[x] lied to a friend.
 had a crush on a teacher.
 celebrated mardi-gras in new orleans.
 been to australia
 been to Hawaii
[x] skipped school.
[x] thrown up from drinking.
[x] played 'clue'.
[x] had a sleepover
[x]gone ice skating.
[x] been cheated on.
 had your tonsils out.
 been exposed to laughing gas.
 have a car.
[x] driven a car.
 Totaled a car.
 flashed someone
[x] been flashed
DO YOU ...
[x] feel loved.
[x] feel lonely.
 have a dog.
[x] sing along with your music.
[x] dance around the house in your underwear.
 listen to Hawaiian Music.
 listen to hip hop.
 listen to rap.
 listen to country.
[xwith kristin] listen to reggae.
[x] listen to techno.
[x] listen to hardcore.
listen to pop.
 listen to r&b.
 listen to jazz.
[x] listen to bands that can't be put into a category.
[x] have hobbies.
[x] have more than 1 best friend.
[x] get good grades.
[x] play an instrument.
[x] have slippers
[x] wear boxers
[x] wear black eyeliner.
[x] like the color blue.
[x] like the color pink.
[x] like the color red
like the color green
[x] like the color black
like the color purple
[x] like neon colors
[x] like to read
[x] like to write.
 have long hair.
[x] have medium length hair.
 have short hair.
[x] have a laptop.
 have a pager.
[x] have a cellphone
ARE YOU ...
 a redhead
 a Christian
 a Muslim
 a Hindu
 a scientologist
 an agnostic
[x] an emotional kid
[x] talking to someone.
[x] IMing someone.
 scared to die.
[x] on the phone.
 in your room.
[x] drinking something.
 eating something.
[x] listening to music
LOOK AT ME...
Whats your natural hair color?: brown
What is your current hair color?: brown
What color are your eyes?: brown
Current Piercings?: bellybutton and 2 in each ear
Straight or Curly Hair?: curly
How tall are you?: 5'4ish
What shirt are you wearing?: navy blue dashboard confessional shirt with the astronaut head thing
shorts/pants/ are you wearing?: purple happy bunny pants from chels
Underwear?: red abercrombie and fitch bikinis
Necklaces: necklace with bill's ring on it <3
Bracelets?: a hairtie i stole from kkuras a long time ago lol
THIS OR THAT...
Rock or Rap: rock
Coffee or Hot Cocoa: hot cocoa
Wild Night out or Romantic Night in: romantic night in
Chocolate or Vanilla: both
Hummer or Sports Car: sports car
Bracelet or Necklace: necklace
History or Science: history
Sleep in or Early to rise: sleep in
Beach or Boardwalk: beach
Hoodie or Tee Shirt: hoodie
Night Or Day: night
High School or college: high school
love or fun: both
California or Florida: california
Simple Plan or Good Charlotte: yuckie
Love at first sight or Learn to Love: both
HAVE YOU EVER...
Kissed the same Sex?: on the cheek
Hugged someone?: duh
Been on the phone until the sun came up?: yup
Put a song on repeat for more than an hour?: oh yah
flashed anyone?: not really
Laughed so hard you pissed in your pants?: almost
Got in a fight with someone (not including siblings)?: yah
person you talked to in person?:mom
person you talked to online?: bill and nick
person you talked to on the phone?: bill <3.. righttttt now
drank?: coke zero... rigghhtt now
laugh: a second ago
last time you had a shower?: today
Do you like surveys: when im bored
What kind of shampoo do you use?: victorias secret lol
Do you get along with your parents?: sometimes
Are you old enough to vote?: nope
Are you happy?: yes
Are you sad?: not really.. only if a sad topic comes up
Do you have mental breakdowns?: once in a while
Did you ever tell your parents you didn't feel good so you didn't have to go to school?: ya but it never works cuz moms a nurse
-Current Mood: im good
-Current Music: none
-Current Taste:coke zero
-Current Hair: straight
-Current Annoyance: no idea
-Current Longing: being in his arms <3
-Current Thing I Ought To Be Doing: um nothing?
-Current Windows Open: myspace, aim, blurty
-Current desktop picture?: winter picture taken last year
-Current Favorite Music Artist: duno
-Current Favorite Book: I'm reading SK Black House.. its great
-Current CD In Stereo: none
-Current Video In VCR: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire on DVD bitch
-Current Worry: a kiddo whos name beings with a N and is my biffle
|| Read 1 - Post
|you're hair it's everywhere screaming infidelities and taking its wear
W O U L D Y O U R A T H E R
music: hummm goes the computer
1. pierce your nose or tongue? tongue
2. serious or be funny?: funny
3. drink whole or skim milk? skim
4. die in a fire or drown? drown
A R E Y O U
1. simple or complicated? complicated
2. Gay? nope
3. Hardcore? sometimes im total HxC
4. Honest? yes
DO YOU PREFER
1. flowers or angels?: flowers
2. gray or black?: black
3. Color or Black and white photos?: black and white
4. lust or love?: i believe in a thing called love
5. sunrise or sunset?: sunset
6. M&Ms or Skittles?: both
7. rap or rock?: ROCK
8. staying up late or waking up early? staying up late
9. eating apples or oranges? apples
1. do you like anyone?: obviously
2. do they know it?: obviously... because if they didnt, we wouldnt be together for over 8 months
DO YOU PREFER
1. being hot or cold?: depends on the situation ;)
2. sun or moon?: moon
3. Winter or Fall?: winter
4. left or right?: right
5. sun or rain?: both
6. vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream?: both
7. boys or girls: um.. guys
What time is it? 9:49pm
WHAT DO YOU WANT
Where do you want to live?: somewhere warmer and prettier and somewhere where i can fuckin breathe!
how many kids do you want?: 2 please
What kind of job do you want?: journalist of some sort or i may be a chriopractor hahaha
Do you want to get married?: yes
1. Nervous Habits?: biting my nails
2. Are you double jointed?: nope
3. Can you roll your tongue? yep
4. Can you raise one eyebrow?: sometimes
5. Can you cross your eyes?: no
6. Do you make your bed daily?: nope
1. Which shoe goes on first?: left
2. On the average, how much money do you carry in your wallet? over 100... most of the time because you never know when theres an emergency or if your close friend needs lunch money so you need to lend some out
3. What jewelry do you mostly wear?: class ring, 'i will fight' band, bellybutton ring, and a necklace with bill's ring on it <3
F O O D
1. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it?: twirl
2. Have you ever eaten Spam?: neverrr
3. favorite kind of ice cream: too manyyy yummie ice cream
4. How many kinds of cereal are in your cabinet? um... maybe like 3 or 4
5. What's your favorite beverage?: coke zeroo
1. How often do you brush your teeth?: 2 times a day
2. How do you wear your hair for the most part?: down if i straighten it, if not.. up in a bun thingy
3. Have u ever dyed/highlighted your hair? yah
1. Do you swear?: yea
2. Do you ever spit?: haha are we talkin sexually here? lol
3. You cook your own food: sometimes
4. You do your own chores: kinda
5. You got laid today?: no
6. You like beef jerky?: ew no
7. You like pepsi or coke?: coke.. bring on the calories!
8. You plan on going to college?: yes
9. You're happy with your hair?: sometimes
10. You own a dog: nope
11. You spend your money wisely?: suprisingly yes
12. You're always making new friends?: sometimes
14. Have you ever got bored so you call a friend?: duh?
15. You're patient? sometimes
16. You like this survey?: no . but im trying to take my mind off of something so im doing it damn it
LET'S BE HONEST.
In the last month have you...
2. Bought something: yes
3. Gotten sick: yah
4. Sang: all the time
5. Been kissed: all the time
7. Felt stupid: all the time
8. Missed someone: of course.. esp. last week
9. Got drunk: um... no just a few drinks on the cruise nothing much
10. Gotten high: bever
11. Danced crazy: duh
12. Gotten your hair cut: no
13. Watched cartoons: yes
14. Lied: nah maybe only to mom
Last Person that...
1. Slept in your bed: me
2. Saw you cry: um... me?
3. Made you cry: nicki kiddo pants
4. Went to the movies with you: Bill <3
5. You went to the mall with: mom
8. You went roller skating with: J
9. You Said 'Shut up' to: to my sister
10. Broke your heart: duno
11. Made you laugh: nick
12. Bought you something: um.. mom on the cruise?
Have You Ever...
1. Wished you were the opposite sex: just for a day lol
2. Snuck out of your house: just to chill outside yah
3. Gave money to a homeless person: no
|| Read 1 - Post
|it's chapped stick and chapped lips and things called chemistry
So tonight is pretty much just completely suck. Excuse me if I don't have spaces between words because this stupid space bar is being stupid. Today is supposably the shortest day of the year but honestly, it will be the longest day just becauseI am in school until after 9:30 tonight for a stupid concert that I'm only going to be in for like 10 minutes. It's so ridiculous! I can't stand it at all! Ugh, people are so incredibly ugh!
So I'm leaving for vacation on X-mas..let's hope it snows so I can't get on a plane and go. That would be beyond amazing.
Alright I should go so someone can actually do something usefull on the computer.
|| Read 2 - Post
|than making you my bride and slowly growing old together
music: Postal Service-Nothing Better
[ ] I am shorter than 5'4.
[x] I think I'm ugly.... sometimes.
[x] I have many scars.
[x] I tan easily.
[ ] I wish my hair was a different color.
[ ] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[ ] I have a tattoo.
[x] I am self-conscious about my appearance.
[x] I have/I've had braces.
[ ] I wear glasses / contacts.
[ ] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe and scar-free.
[x] I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger.
[x] I have more than 2 piercings.
[x] I have piercings in places besides my ears.
[ ] I have freckles.
[x] I've sworn at my parents.
[ ] I've ran away from home.
[ ] I've been kicked out of the house.
[ ] My biological parents are together.
[ ] I have a sibling less than one year old.
[x] I want to have kids someday.
[ ] I've had children.
[ ] I've lost a child.
[x] I'm in school.
[x] I have a job.
[x] I've fallen asleep at work/school.
[x] I almost always do my homework.
[ ] I've missed a week or more of school.
[x] I've been on the Honor Roll within the last 2 years.
[ ] I failed more than 1 class last year.
[ ] I've stolen something from my job
[x] I've been fired.
[x] I've skipped school.
[x] I've slipped out a "lol" in a spoken conversation.
[x] Disney movies still make me cry.
[ ] I've peed from laughing.
[x] I've snorted while laughing.
[x] I've laughed so hard I've cried.
[x] I've glued my hand to something
[ ] I've laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose.
[x] I've had my pants rip in public
[ ] I was born with a disease/impairment.
[ ] I've gotten stitches.
[ ] I've broken a bone.
[ ] I've fractured a bone.
[ ] I've had my tonsils removed.
[x] I've sat in a doctors office with a friend.
[ ] I've had my wisdom teeth removed.
[ ] I had a serious surgery.
[x] I've had chicken pox.
[x] I've been in a car accident.
[ ] I've broken my nose.
[x] I've driven over 200 miles in one day.
[x] I've been on a plane.
[x] I've been to Canada.
[x] I've been to Mexico.
[ ] I've been to Niagara Falls.
[ ] I've been to Japan.
[ ] I've Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
[ ] I've been to Europe.
[ ] I've been to Africa.
[x] I've been to Mt. Rushmore
[x] I've gotten lost in my city.
[x] I've seen a shooting star... he always points them out as they pass by <3
[x] I've wished on a shooting star... we wish on them together
[ ] I've seen a meteor shower.
[x] I've gone out in public in my pajamas.
[x] I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator
[x] I've kicked a guy where it hurts.
[x] I've been to a casino.
[ ] I've been skydiving.
[x] I've gone skinny dipping.
[ ] I've drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[ ] I've crashed a car.
[ ] I've been Skiing..
[ ] I've been in a play.
[x] I've met someone in person from the internet
[x] I've caught a snowflake on my tongue.
[ ] I've seen the Northern Lights.
[ ] I've sat on a roof top at night.
[x] I've played chicken.
[x] I've played a prank on someone.
[x] I've ridden in a taxi.
[x] I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[x] I've eaten Sushi.
[x] I've been snowboarding.
[ ] I'm single
[x] I'm in a relationship.
[ ] I'm engaged.
[ ] I'm married.
[ ] I've gone on a blind date.
[x] I've been the dumpee more than the dumper.
[x] I miss someone right now.
[x] I have a fear of abandonment.
[ ] I've cheated in a relationship.
[ ] I've gotten divorced
[x] I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
[ ] I've told someone I loved them when I didn't.
[x] I've told someone I didn't love them when I did.
[x] I've kept something from a past relationship. (every girl does this... it's called the memory box.. but im planning on tossing a lot of that stuff soon)
[ ] I've had a crush on someone of the same sex.
[ ] I've had a crush on a teacher.
[x] I am a cuddler.
[x] I've been kissed in the rain.
[ ] I've hugged a stranger.
[ ] I have kissed a stranger.
[x] I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't.
[x] I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't.
[x] I've snuck out of my house.
[x] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[x] I'm keeping a secret from the world.
[x] I've cheated while playing a game.
[x] I've cheated on a test.
[ ] I've run a red light
[ ] I've been suspended from school.
[ ] I've witnessed a crime.
[ ] I'VE been in a fist fight.
[ ] I've been arrested.
[ ] I've shoplifted.
[x] I've consumed alcohol.
[ ] I regularly drink.
[x] I've passed out from drinking.
[ ] I have passed out drunk at least once in the past 6 months.
[x] I have cough drops when I'm not sick.
[ ] I can't swallow pills.
[ ] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem
[ ] I have been diagnosed with clinical depression.
[x] I shut others out when I'm depressed.
[ ] I take anti-depressants.
[ ] I'm anorexic or bulimic.
[ ] I've slept an entire day when I didn't need it.
[ ] I'm addicted to self harm.
[x] I've woken up crying
Death and Suicide
[x] afraid of dying.
[x] hate funerals.
[x] I've seen someone dying.
[x] Someone i know has attempted suicide.
[ ] Someone i know has committed suicide.
[ ] I've planned my own suicide
[ ] I've attempted suicide.
[x] I've written a eulogy for myself. ( i think i did that once.. it was funny )
[x] I own over 5 rap CD's
[x] I own an iPod or MP3 player.
[ ] I have an unhealthy obsession with anime/manga.
[ ] I own multiple designer purses, costing over $100 a piece.
[x] I own something from Hot Topic.
[x] i own something from pac sun
[ ] I collect comic books.
[x] I own something from The Gap.
[x] I own something I got on e-bay. (hopefully)
[x] i own something from Abercrombie.
[ ] In general, I don't like people.
[ ] I'm a feminist.
[X] im outgoing
[x] I listen to political music.
[ ] I'm Democratic. I would rather keep my status personal
[ ] I'm Republican.
[ ] I'm liberal.
[x] I'm religious. (somewhat)
[ ] i dress fairly modest
[ ] My attitude is, "If you've got it, flaunt it."
[x]I can sing well.
[ ] I've stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
[x] open up to others easily.
[ ] I watch the news.
[x] don't kill bugs.
[x] I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for the sake of being able to rhyme.
[x] I curse regularly.
[X] I sing in the shower.
[ ] I am a morning person.
[x] I paid for my cell phone ring tone.
[x] I'm a snob about grammar.
[ ] I am a sports fanatic.
[x] I twirl my hair
[x] I have "x"s in my screen name EMAIL ADDRESS...
[ ] love being neat
[ ] I love Spam
[ ] I've copied more than 30 CD's in a day
[x] I bake well.
[x] My favorite color is either white, yellow, PINK, RED or blue
[x] I would wear pajamas to school.
[ ] I like Martha Stewart.
[ ] I know how to shoot a gun.
[x] am in love with love. (who isn't?.. but not only am i in love with love but i am in love with someone)
[x] I laugh at my own jokes
[ ] I eat fast food weekly
[x] I believe in ghosts.
[ ] I am online 24/7, even as an away message.
[ ] I've not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class.
[ ] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[x] I am really ticklish (depends on who is tickiling me.. idk why)
[x] I love white chocolate
[x] I bite my nails.
[x] I play video games.
[x] I'm good at remembering faces.
[ ] I'm good at remembering names
[x] I'm good at remembering dates.
[x] I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
[x] all answers are totally honest.
These are supposedly 28 questions that no one would ever think to ask. Answer them, then REPOST the bulletin:
1. When you look at yourself in the mirror, what's the first thing you think?
... probably something you don't wanna hear
2. How much cash do you have on you?
too much probably maybe over $100
3. What's a word that rhymes with "TEST"?
4. Favorite planet?
anywhere where he is
5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell?
6. The most comfortable bed you've ever slept in?
7. What shirt are you wearing?
the used shirt
8. Do you "label" yourself?
9. Name the brand of your shoes you're currently wearing right now?
really old slip on vans man
10. Light or Dark Room?
11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
she's awesome and i miss my shelli who i meow with
12. Do u believe in taking relationships fast or slow?
slow... so they last longer
13. What were you doing at midnight last night?
um... i was either asleep or on the phone
14. What did your last text message you received on your cell say?
"if you're by your computer we need to talk" --- Darren, Nick's stepdad
15. do u still believe in santa?
16. What's a saying that you say a lot?
fa-la-la-la... it's okay kiddo
17. Who said they loved you last?
18. Last furry thing you touched?
um.... furry? my cat?
19. How Many Drugs Have You Done In The Past three Days?
20. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed?
21. Favorite age you have been so far?
22. Your worst enemy?
theres a few
23. What is your current desktop picture?
im on the school comp so here.. nothing. at home its a picture of the sky and houses on my street right before a storm
24. What was the last thing you said to someone?
25. If you had 2 wishes what would it be?
1. to live happily ever after
2. to hang with my biffle
26. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to take something back, which would you choose?
thats a tough choice.. i'd take a million dollars because then i'd have a million dollars to spend on everyone... but i'd also take things back because i've done stupid things in life but then again if i took them back, i may not be where i am today
27. Do you like someone?
i love someone
28. The last song you listened to?
The Noose - A Perfect Circle
|| Read 1 - Post
I need to let everyone know what an amazing best friend I have.
music: 3 libras - a perfect circle
Nick is truly amazing. I can't even describe him in words.
I couldn't ask for a better best friend even if I tried.
Last night was supposed to be just the two of us, two best friends, having the times of our lives but sadly, that never happened. I don't blame him for not being able to make it because the situation was out of his hands. I am thankful that he is alright because without him, I would be lost.
I guess I'll start off by saying that this guy completely changed my life and without him, I wouldn't be who I am today and for all I know, I may not be sitting here writing this today if it wasn't for him. He's helped me through all the dificulties in my life and has always been there for me emotionally and mentally. He's probably one of the sweetest guys I know, and I only know 2 genuinly sweet guys. Nick means the world to me and I love him to death.
Nick and Sara, biffles til the end of time <3
... love you kiddo.
I'm sure the flowers were not even near as magnificant as you are
|| Read 1 - Post
I've kissed someone....
[x] on the cheek.
[x] on the lips.
[x] on their hands or fingers.
[x] in my room.
[x] in their room.
[x] of the opposite sex.
[x cheek only] of the same sex.
[x] a little younger than me.
[x] a little older than me.
[x] with brown hair.
[ ] with curly hair.
[x] with blonde hair and blue eyes.
[ ] with red hair.
[ ] with straight hair.
[ ] shorter than me.
[ ] with a lip ring.
[ ] with a tounge ring.
[x] who you truly love/loved
[ ] who was drunk.
[ ] while you were drunk
[x] taller than me
[ ] who was high.
[x] in the morning.
[ ] right after waking up.
[x] just before bed.
[x] late at night.
[ ] who I had just met
[ ] who I really didn't want to kiss.
[x] who was going out with someone else.
[x] on a bed.
[ ] two people at the same time
[ ] right after youve kissed somebody else
[ ] in a graveyard.
[x] at school.
[x] against a wall.
[x *mcr*] at a show.
[ ] at the beach.
[x] in a pool.
[x] who was/is a good friend.
[ ] in the rain.
[ ] with an std.
[x (car)] in a car/taxi/bus
[ ] on a plane.
[x] in the movies.
[x] in a bathroom.
[x] in the dark
[ ] on a roof top
[x] under water
[ ] while you/they were driving
[ ] who was a complete stranger
[ ] at the old folks home
[ ] at the park
[ ] on your parents bed
[ ]on your friends bed
[ ]while someone else was sleeping next to you
[x] on top of you
|| Read 1 - Post
|i'm the only one who plays the guitar to break somebodys heart
1. Initials: SDO
music: we thought we knew - iav
2. Name someone with the same birthday as you: Gerald Aggrey (i'm like 4 hours older oh yah)
3. Last thing you ate? chicken from bk
4. For or against same sex marriage? for
5. Are you homophobic? no
6. Do you still watch cartoons on Saturday mornings? if i was home on saturday mornings, then sure
7. Do you believe in God? sometimes
8. How many U.S states have you been to? a lot
9. How many of the U.S states have you lived in? 1
10. Have you ever lived outside the U.S? no
11. Name something you like physically about yourself: eyes
12. Something non-physical you like about yourself: i'm very loveable
13. What's your dads name? Scott
14. What is your dream car? don't know
15. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go? not sure
16. Favorite type of food? italian maybe
17. Favorite holiday? halloween, birthdays and x-mas
18. Do you download music? rarely
19. How many illegal things have you done? not many
20. Where would you want to go on a first date? out to dinner and movies
21. Would you date the person who posted this before you? i would have.. that was the past
22. Has anyone ever sang or played for you personally? yah
23. Have you ever cried for no reason? yah
24. Do you like president Bush? not at all.. and i do have my reasons, trust me
25. Have you ever bungee jumped? not yet
26. Have you ever white-water rafted? not yet
27. Has anyone ten years older than you ever hit on you? yah
29. Have you met a real redneck? mhm.. state fair
30. How is the weather right now? freezing
31. What song are you listening to right now? take me home - iav (cuz of purevolume)
32. What is your current favorite song? a7x - warmness on the soul (at the moment)
33. What was the last movie you watched? um.. harry potter with bill <3
34. Do you wear contacts? no
35. Where was the last place you went besides your house? school
36. What are you afraid of? a bunch of things
37. Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex? yah, playfully
38. Any pets? 1 cat Tiger Lily
39. Have you ever loved someone? Yes, and I do right now
41. What do you usually order from Starbucks?nothing i dont go to starbucks
42. Have you ever fired a gun? no
43. Are you missing someone? of course
44. Say something totally random about yourself: i wish i wasnt so over-emotional
45. Do you have an iPod? yah but its broken cuz ipods suck
46. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity? no
47. Whats your mom's name? lisa
48. Who would you like to see right now? bill and nick
49. Are you comfortable with your height? yah
50. Dogs or cats? cats
51. Have you ever been caught doing something you weren't supposed to? yes
52. Favorite flower? roses
53. Butter, plain, or salted popcorn? butter and salted
54. What books are you reading? Black House - Stephen King
55. Have you ever ridden in a limo? yah
56. Has anyone you were really close to passed away? yah
57. Do you watch MTV? yah
58. What's something that really annoys you? fakes
59. What are some things you really like? theres too many things to say here
60. Do you like Michael Jackson? not at all
61. Can you dance? yes
62. Favorite Football team? none
63. Favorite breakfast food? pancakes and sausage
64. Do you drive? only on my permit
65. What's the latest you have ever stayed out? um.. 1 am maybe.. i dont stay out much
66. Last time you went bowling? um.... 2 months ago? damn
67. Were you ever rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room? no
68. Last time you were at work? sunday
69. Whats your favorite state to live in: idk
|| Read 1 - Post
|don't stop if i fall and don't look back oh baby don't stop bury me and fade to black
|ABOUT YOU |
music: Hang 'Em High - MCR
Hair Color:: Brown
Eye Color:: brown
Parents names:: Lisa and Scott
Peircings:: 2 in each ear and my bellybutton
| FAVORITES |
Color:: red and pink
Song:: warmness on the soul by a7x
Movie:: not sure too many movies..
TV Show:: duno too many.. maybe rock countdown on mtv2 so i can dance
Actor:: johnny depp
Singer/Band:: too many.. but im currently really into a7x
Type of Music:: alternitive/punk rock/rock/emo
Vacation Spot::somewhere warm
Place to Hang out:: anywhere
Store:: um.... spencers and hot topic
Clothes Brand:: no idea
Perfume/Cologne:: perfume on me - abercrombie and fitch 8 (shush) and on him - oh shit, what does he wear agh! oh! RPM (siggggghhh)
Drink:: coke zero, tea, and vitamin water
Food:: chocolate covered strawberries
Holiday:: Halloween birthdays christmas
Season:: winter and spring
Teacher:: um.. duno
| LAST .. |
Movie you rented:: rented ummmm.... Sin City with Bill
Song you listened to:: "You know what they do guys like us in prison" - mcr
CD you bought:: um.. i don't buy cds anymore lmao.. i need to go buy "Taste of Christmas"
Person you hugged:: Bill
Person you kissed:: Bill<3
Person you touched:: um... kristin? (touched in like a friendly way)
Word you said:: bye
Song you sang:: um.. i haven't actually sang since yesterday so i don't remember
Thing you ate:: frosted flakes
Thing you bought:: power bar thing
Person you called:: my mom called me last
Person you IMed:: um... Bill
Vacation you went on:: florida
| DO YOU .. |
Drink:: no alcohol unless it's a special occasion w/ my mom.. like my bday
Do drugs:: no way
Play sports:: not anymore
Go to school:: sadly, that's where i am now
Want more peircings:: um.. possibly idk
Believe in love:: yes yes yes yes
Have a boyfriend/girlfriend:: yes yes yes yes <33333
Belive in God:: sometimes
Get good grades:: actually, yah
Like rollercoasters:: yessss
Drive:: w/ my permit
| FOR OR AGAiNST |
Online Relationships:: ugh, no
The death penalty:: against
Premarital Sex:: for
Homosexual Relationships:: for
Drinking & driving:: against
Using someone:: against
Teenage smoking:: against
Underage drinking:: against
Soap Operas:: for sometimes when there's nothing else to watch
| RANDOM |
What shampoo do you use:: um.. suave? idk
Shoes do you wear:: depends on my mood... either my vans or my etnies or my cons
Deoderant do you use:: um.... adidas or secret
What are you scared of:: being alone forever... but that's not gonna happen
What kind of car do you have/want:: idk what i want
Favorite Quote:: "Love is real, it's not just in novels or the movies, it is fact, and it is standing here, right in front of you" - Bright Eyes
Believe in astrology (zodiac)::every once in awhile it turns out to be true so sometimes
How often do you change your profile:: once a month unless otherwise needed
Do you write real letters (on paper):: no
How many people on your buddy list:: a lot
How many are online right now:: idk im not on aim
What time is it:: 10:04am
Whats the date:: dec. 2
What did you do yesterday:: went to school, bought shoes for bill's junior formal, and hung out with bill <3
Do you like candles:: yessum
Do you burn inscence:: no
Do you have a cell phone:: of course
Last person who IMed you:: nick
What was your first screenname:: sara52189 (or something like that)
Scariest movie youve ever seen:: theres a lot of those
Funniest movie youve ever seen:: umm.. duno
Saddest movie youve ever seen:: the notebook.. i cried my friggin eyes out
Ever cry at a movie:: ALL THE TIME
Do you like 'reality TV':: not really
Ever seen Grease:: yes.. both of them actually. i used to be obsessed
Favorite Candy:: not sure
Most embarassing moment:: when i said meow to shelly and bill was walking past and heard me while we were at work.. oh my god that was embarassing.. (but i have others many others)
Did ya like the survey::sometimes
|| Read 1 - Post
|clean me off, im so dirty baby
music: i never told you what i do for a living - mcr
[x] Nicknames::Sars, Sar, soldham, circa, sara beans.. the list goes on
[x] D.O.B.::may 21, 1989
[x] Location::H-town NJ
[x] Righty Lefty?::righty
[x] Baseball Soccer?::Soccer
[x] Zodic Sign::taurus/gemini
[x] Hair Color::Brown
[x] Hair Lenght::shoulder length
[x] Eye Color::brown
[x] Current Mood::in love
[x] Current Time::9:28 am
[x] Food::chocolate covered strawberries!
[x] Drink::coke zero or vitamin water
[x] Band::at the moment.. Avenged Sevenfold
[x] Music Genere::Alternative/rock/emo/punk
[x] Book::dont know
[x] T.V Show::um... rock countdown on mtv2
[x] Color::red and pink
[x] Sign of Effection::holding hands, kissing, whispering i love you... you know
[x] Clothes::band t-shirts
[x] Class:: english
[x] Place:: anywhere where Bill is
[x] Movie::too many to ever name
[x] Quote::"Love is real, it's not just in novels or the movies, it is fact, and it is standing here, right in front of you" -- gotta love Bright Eyes
[x] Holiday::Holloween, Birthdays, Christmas
[x] Animal::kitty, llama, PENGUIN, emu
[x] Dating?:: for almost 8 months yes :)
[x] Crush?::yes... BILL!! (... of course he's my only crush cuz he's my boyfriend)
[x] Boyfriend Girlfriend?:: Mr. Boyfriend <3
[x] Striaght Gay Bi?:: Straight.
[x] PDA or No?::doesn't matter..
[x] Looks or Personality?::Personality
[x] Ur Type . ( i.e Hair color eyes height yaddah yaddah )::taller than me, hair and eye color don't matter, someone who isn't afraid to be unique and random, someone who will love me for me and will always be there for me, someone who is caring, compassionate and loving, ... okay, just go take a look at Bill and then you'll see my type... and he's all that I ever need
>> Have You Ever?
[x] Had Sex::Yes
[x] Huged Random people::probably
[x] Made a survey::i fixed surveys but not really made my own
[x] Kissed someone you didnt know::no
[x] Danced Naked?::um.. in my own privacy yes
[x] Pissed Somewhere beside the bathroom?::um... no.. just the bathroom
[x] Got In A Fist Fight:: don't think so
[x] Regreted Something?:: sure, everyone does
>> Five Things that Your wearing right now?
[x] Green Day sweatshirt (from my 1st GD concert)
[x] Dashboard Confessional shirt
>> Five Bands
[x] Green Day
[x] Avenged Sevenfold
[x] My Chemical Romance
[x] The Used
[x] Perfect Endings
>> Five Things You See/Hear
[x] Ben's Ipod playing (cuz I'm listening to it)- The Taste of Ink by The Used
[x] the computer
[x] my vitamin water
[x] my gun purse
[x] my french book
>> Five Main Goals In Life
[x] Go to college
[x] be successful
[x] get married <3
[x] have a family
[x] live a happy and full life
>> Five huge dislikes
[x] friends who make fun of you
[x] politics (i hate talking politics)
[x] people who diss anything i believe in
>> Five Best Friends
>> Friends: Whos doing what?
[x] Been Stabed?::um no comment
[x] Stabed someone::um no comment
[x] funniest?:: all funny
[x] trendiest::Chels and Sarah
[x] hottest::BILL BILL BILL BILL hehe
[x] smartest::they are all smart
[x] most considerate::umm.. most of my friends are considerate except a few
[x] dumbest:: um... chels is my dumb blonde but i love her to death
[x] druggie?:: ugh
[x] soon to be famous::not sure
[x] most likely to suceed::all of them
>> If You Could
[x] move somewhere::um... somewhere warmer than here
[x] fall in love with::Bill (wait, i already am in love with him.. so i'll just fall all over again)
[x] meet someone::Johnny Depp
[x] get something::don't need much
>> Stuck on an island
[x] 4 friends
[x] 3 food items
[x] 2 extra items
[x] condoms (wow both these answers are random but are totally needed)
[x] 1 outfit
[x] umm... since it would most likely be hot... my black etnies shorts, sandals, tank top, bra, and underwear
>> Aim WHORE!
[x] over used word?::sigh
[x] who do you talk to the most?::Bill
[x] person on aim the most::Bill
[x] dumbest computer skills::... not sure
>>Five things that don't impress you...
[x] no personality?
>>Five things you cant live without...
[x] writing instruments (pen, paper)
>>Five things you'll do when you complete this...
[x] possibly do another survey
[x] check myspace again
[x] drink my vitamin water
[x] listen to ben's ipod
[x] go to french class
>>Five things you feel right now...
[x] In Love
[x] Headache.. so that means, um headache
|| Read 1 - Post
|i un-deleted it because of you
This is my most sincere/biggest appology I will ever have to make in my life. I've never felt so torn up inside like I do at this very moment. The winds of time are changing and though we trudge along through them, I cannot help but wish I could rewind the days we fought and make them better. Life at this moment is a blur. I think I lost my best friend. And it's truly my fault. I shouldn't have said the things that I said and I should have thought before I spoke those words to you. Because of my stupidity, we are losing the battle we once won. My best friend, my world, my biffle. Disappearing. I sit here with knots in my stomach fighting back tears that will surely errupt when I see the faces of my friends. This is all my fault. And this is all I can think about. All my fault, all my fault. This is truly eating me up inside. I'm about to pass out. This truly isn't right nor is it fair that this event is happening in our lives. I am not willing to lose my best friend. Please, please, I'm sorry. I'm sitting here willing to get on my knees and beg you for your forgiveness but most of all I want to make sure you are okay. I don't think I've ever been this worried in my whole entire life.
I'm sitting here reading over everything we used to say and journal entries that we would read and realize how much we meant to each other. Where did that go Nick? ... and in my head all I can hear is "It's all your fault, Sara; it's all your fault, why did you do this to him?"
It's so hard to breathe right now because I'm choking on my own tears. Why!? Why?!!!!! Oh god please I beg of you, make this right, please send my most sincerest appologies to him and his family for ever causing them grief. At this moment, I wonder what it would have been like if we never met at all. Maybe I wouldn't have hurt him so many times the way I did. Maybe I would be lonely. But all I know is that I would not have the most amazing best friend in the world that I care about more than life itself.
I can honestly say stupid things sometimes and I'm sorry that I do that. I'm sorry that I say the wrong things and put us in a situation like this where you won't even tell people what went wrong. I hate having to explain a story like this. I hate being in this prediciment. If only I just kept my mouth shut last night. That's all I truly needed to do was be quite.
I'm sorry. I need you to understand that I didn't want this to happen this way. You're my best friend and I don't know how to overcome this right now. I never knew that I would be in a situation like this. I begged and pleaded in my own heart to think this wasn't truly happening. I've never felt such grief in my whole life. My best friend, please, you do not have to forgive me but I need you to understand that I'm sorry for doing this to you. No matter what happens, it's always Jersey and Cali. We could be 48 states away. We could be standing right there saying that you had me at hello. You could be singing to me and living right behind my house. Nick, I... I'm sorry.
|| Read 10 - Post
|take this kiss and hold on tight and steady...
music: next stop mineola - iav
so i'm home.
here in jersey.
my sister just screamed at me because i invited my friend ben to the green day concert when my mom told me i can invite 2 people and bill was going to come no matter what and ben wanted to go and yah she screamed at me and started crying and yah, i dont like my sister sometimes.
concert is on thursday at giants stadium.i can't wait.
last night was amazing. i needed all of that so much. it felt so good to be in his arms again. i can't even describe how it was last night. i love bill so much. sigh, i missed him...
now on another night. i'm listening to this amazing song. that's making me cry. just like every song i hear that someone wrote. maybe its the lyrics, maybe its the voice, maybe its who its written by, maybe its cuz of who its written for, maybe. maybe. idk.
.... okay, i need to go now.
|| Read 9 - Post