Today at school was fine, except for the fact that I didnt see Lauren. I went and ate with her tonight though. She gave me a giant hug when she saw me and started poking me. Then she said "I didnt see you at school today" and did this sad puppy face that she always does; it's so cute. Hehe. I had a great time tonight though. She makes me so happy; so does Heather J. The other people there, well, they just dont click with me the way I click with Lauren. They dont make me feel safe like some other people do (5). Damn, 30 days and Lauren graduates. DOES ANYONE KNOW HOW BAD THAT SUCKS? I dont know wtf I'm going to do with her gone. No joke, I'm going to fall apart and fucking die. I cant really smile unless I see her. You just dont understand at all the way she lights up my face and makes me feel comfortable and loved and safe and...theres just something about her. I know that I can completely trust her; she loves me and I know that when I look in her eyes; she really does care and I know she wouldnt hurt me like others have. Lauren wont ever let me down like other people have. She will ALWAYS be there for me, even when she goes away. And Tina and Katie C. They wont leave me, ever. Katie makes me light up like no one else though. There is definitely something special about her that connects us. She is totally awesome and I hope everyone else that knows her sees that. I wish I could see Katie C every day. Then I would be the happiest fucking person alive. Woah, that would make me so so so so so happy, like WOAH! I get to see Katie again not this weekend, not the next, but the next! Duuuude, that is gonna kick ass. You dont even understand the way she makes me feel either. Her, Lauren, Maggie and Tina just make me feel different than other people do. But, dont get me wrong, I love a lot of other people, but those four just makes me feel better about who I am, my outlook on everything, it's just amazing.
I didnt see Maggie tonight. I guess she's done lifeguarding, which sucks a lot. I will still see her at school though; so that kicks ass. We wont get to talk as much though, or dance while we're changing in the bathroom, or all the other random stuff.
I had a great conversation with Megan tonight. Actually we are still talking right now. She understands what I'm talking about, what I'm dealing with right now. I'm glad to, because I can completely vent and she knows how I'm feeling; she knows what it's like. Thanks Mayg-han <3.
I'm in a considerably good mood. Not as happy as I have been, but that's okay. Tomorrow will be great, I hope. I will get to see Maggie and Lauren <3
15 days...omg, it's getting closer.