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A Different World

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[11 Mar 2004|08:48pm]
[ mood | confused ]

Today at school was fine, except for the fact that I didnt see Lauren. I went and ate with her tonight though. She gave me a giant hug when she saw me and started poking me. Then she said "I didnt see you at school today" and did this sad puppy face that she always does; it's so cute. Hehe. I had a great time tonight though. She makes me so happy; so does Heather J. The other people there, well, they just dont click with me the way I click with Lauren. They dont make me feel safe like some other people do (5). Damn, 30 days and Lauren graduates. DOES ANYONE KNOW HOW BAD THAT SUCKS? I dont know wtf I'm going to do with her gone. No joke, I'm going to fall apart and fucking die. I cant really smile unless I see her. You just dont understand at all the way she lights up my face and makes me feel comfortable and loved and safe and...theres just something about her. I know that I can completely trust her; she loves me and I know that when I look in her eyes; she really does care and I know she wouldnt hurt me like others have. Lauren wont ever let me down like other people have. She will ALWAYS be there for me, even when she goes away. And Tina and Katie C. They wont leave me, ever. Katie makes me light up like no one else though. There is definitely something special about her that connects us. She is totally awesome and I hope everyone else that knows her sees that. I wish I could see Katie C every day. Then I would be the happiest fucking person alive. Woah, that would make me so so so so so happy, like WOAH! I get to see Katie again not this weekend, not the next, but the next! Duuuude, that is gonna kick ass. You dont even understand the way she makes me feel either. Her, Lauren, Maggie and Tina just make me feel different than other people do. But, dont get me wrong, I love a lot of other people, but those four just makes me feel better about who I am, my outlook on everything, it's just amazing.
I didnt see Maggie tonight. I guess she's done lifeguarding, which sucks a lot. I will still see her at school though; so that kicks ass. We wont get to talk as much though, or dance while we're changing in the bathroom, or all the other random stuff.
I had a great conversation with Megan tonight. Actually we are still talking right now. She understands what I'm talking about, what I'm dealing with right now. I'm glad to, because I can completely vent and she knows how I'm feeling; she knows what it's like. Thanks Mayg-han <3.
I'm in a considerably good mood. Not as happy as I have been, but that's okay. Tomorrow will be great, I hope. I will get to see Maggie and Lauren <3

15 days...omg, it's getting closer.

2 Let Me Slip Take My Hand

[10 Mar 2004|08:51pm]
[ mood | happy ]

WITH EVERY BEAT OF MY HEART...

I keep getting closer
To the love I know
I'm ready and willing
Getting out of control
You win and you lose some
But if you stay in the game
Before you know it
You'll feel the fire
But don't get burned by the flame
You'll find the answer any day
With every beat of my heart
I keep getting closer to you
With every beat of my heart now
I know we're getting closer
To love with every beat
I just wanna know you
More every day
And now it won't be long
Till I hear you say (say it, say it)
Say that you do boy
It's just a matter of time
Before you know it
You'll feel the fire
And it's burning deep inside
You'll find the answer
In his eyes
With every beat of my heart
I keep getting closer to you
With every beat of my heart now
I know we're getting closer to love
With every beat of my heart
I feel you moving closer to me, oh
With every beat of my heart
Baby I know it's becoming reality
With every beat

I'm so HAPPY!

Take My Hand

[10 Mar 2004|08:46pm]
Tonight kicked ass, except for the fact that I feel like I'm about to fucking vomit. I'm not eating because I dont want to throw up, but it hurts not to eat. Oh well. But, today me and Maggie talked forever. She got to the pool around 5:30 and we talked until around 6:30 when we both had to go change; me to go swim, her to go out with her friends. But we were in the bathroom changing and she was being so random. It was great. She is so fucking funny. She was dancing and stuff...haha. Yeah, I guess you just had to be there.

Badonkadonk bitch!
Take My Hand

[10 Mar 2004|04:07pm]
I got an e-mail from James today, that was really from Katie C. Isnt that dandy? Yeah, you bet it is.
Take My Hand

[10 Mar 2004|03:52pm]
[ mood | happy ]

Last night was so awesome. Tina makes me so incredibly happy. She makes me happier than just about anyone besides Katie C and Lauren. But I'm around Tina more than I'm around them, so she probably makes me happiest. It's great. She was holding me in her arms last night singing to me and we ended up having this wonderful conversation about what I should do about Joey. Then we all played waterpolo and Tina and I wouldnt let go of each other until we knew we were on the same team. She is definitely THE COOLEST! But, Maggie is pretty cool too. She is lifeguarding at the pool this week, so we talk some. She's awesome. And tomorrow I'm going to Fudrucker's because Lauren said she wanted me to.
OMG. TODAY WAS AWESOME! Nothing could bring me down; not even everyone else being bitchy. I saw Maggie this morning which made it a great start. Then first block was fine because we just went to the Library. Me and Becky kept hitting each other when we went back to the classroom; it was funny. Second block sucked because no one in there was any fun today. Oh well, I was still in a kickass mood! But, I saw John and Maggie before 2nd block, so I think that contributed to my mood. Third block was dandy because we never do anything in there. I just stared a picture that I had in my purse most of the time. It made me smile:) Yes, it did. After third block I saw Megan, Katie G and Caroline. That was dandy, only because Katie G is my twin and I love all of them! Um, fourth block was the best class of the day. Me, Vince and Abbey just sat there making jokes most of the time. Other people didnt find them that funny (COUGHCOUGH), but we sure as hell did. It was great. I smiled like this whole fucking day, which was completely great. THEN, after fourth block I saw Lauren<3 We had the grandest talk. I was walking to carpool when she was leaving her class and we stood there forever talking. She walked up and gave me a hug. Then told me that I had to go to Fudruckers tomorrow because she says to, so of course I'm going to go (if anyone else had of told me to go, I wouldnt have).
This whole week has been great thanks to Tina, Lauren, Katie C, Maggie, Becky, Vince, Abbey and Katie G. I havent had a bad day yet. I miss Megan :( I didnt get to really talk to her today because I had to pee really really bad, but I hope she knows I LOVE HER! And tomorrow I'm definitely going to not have to pee so I can talk to her.
I can honestly say that today I was completely HAPPY.

16 days!

Take My Hand

[09 Mar 2004|04:22pm]
I hate you! It's as simple as that.
Take My Hand

[09 Mar 2004|04:09pm]
[ mood | blank ]

TODAY SUCKED. I only REALLY smiled once, and that was when I saw Lauren<3. She's trying to get me to go to Fudruckers Thursday, but I dont know if I want to go. I suppose I will though since she wants me to. First block sucked. Second block was HORRIBLE. Third block was AWFUL. And fourth block SUCKED MONKEY BALLS! I completely hate everything about this semester except for the fact that I get to see Lauren more than last semester. Annnnd, why is it that I get close to people toward the end of the year, right before they leave. Becky is SO awesome, but she's leaving in May. Lauren's leaving, and I'm REALLY going to miss her. I dont know what I will do next year without her there to give me a hug and tell me everything is going to be okay and that she cares. But Jennifer and Jane will be there. *Jumps up and down* But that is NOTHING compared to Lauren. No one can compare to Lauren, it's impossible.

You wanna know who's really cool? Maggie...
And you wanna know who's really hot? Katie C, but I already told you that.

Take My Hand

[09 Mar 2004|04:07pm]
You don't know how wonderful it feels to see you smile at me.

17 days! Duuuude, I cannot fucking wait.
Take My Hand

[08 Mar 2004|09:19pm]
You told me that it would be okay, and I believed you. You said that you would always love me, and I need you to. I need atleast someone to always care because I know I would fall apart on my own. I hate a fabulous night. I SAW TINA. I LOVE HER...enough said. I come home and suddenly I have the cause of all problems in this house. My parents yelled at me for wanting to eat. Hmm, maybe I'm the only one who thinks something is wrong with that. They told me that I'm a bitch and I think about only myself. Wow, I hate this house.

I love Tina because she makes everything go away just with a smile. She is such a genuine person. I look in her eyes and I know that she does and always will care. I know that she loves me. I know that I can count on her to make my life brighter. Isnt it great to have four people like that? It is. <3 Tina, Katie C, Lauren and Cara. I mean, yeah, there are other people that I love and that make me happy, but not like this. Others dont make me laugh the way they do. Others dont care like they do and I know that for a fact.

Katie C, Tina, Lauren, Cara, Caroline, Alicia, Megan, Brigitte, Katie G, Alex, April, Joey, Bill, Vince, Chase, Terren, Abbey, Nick. I love them.
Take My Hand

[08 Mar 2004|09:19pm]
You told me that it would be okay, and I believed you. You said that you would always love me, and I need you to. I need atleast someone to always care because I know I would fall apart on my own. I hate a fabulous night. I SAW TINA. I LOVE HER...enough said. I come home and suddenly I have the cause of all problems in this house. My parents yelled at me for wanting to eat. Hmm, maybe I'm the only one who thinks something is wrong with that. They told me that I'm a bitch and I think about only myself. Wow, I hate this house.

I love Tina because she makes everything go away just with a smile. She is such a genuine person. I look in her eyes and I know that she does and always will care. I know that she loves me. I know that I can count on her to make my life brighter. Isnt it great to have four people like that? It is. <3 Tina, Katie C, Lauren and Cara. I mean, yeah, there are other people that I love and that make me happy, but not like this. Others dont make me laugh the way they do. Others dont care like they do and I know that for a fact.

Katie C, Tina, Lauren, Cara, Caroline, Alicia, Megan, Brigitte, Katie G, Alex, April, Joey, Bill, Vince, Chase, Terren, Abbey, Nick. I love them.
Take My Hand

[08 Mar 2004|04:29pm]
I stole this from Brigitte
Read more... )
1 Let Me Slip Take My Hand

[08 Mar 2004|04:03pm]
Great day. I got several thousand compliments on my hair. Yay? Lauren said I am really pretty:) She is awesome. I saw her this morning, then before 2nd block and at the end of the day. I didnt get to talk to her until the end of the day. But dude, it's worth waiting for because she always makes me feel great. She gave me a giant hug, told me how pretty I am and then we talked some and I went home. Katie G gave me one of her bracelets that she got when she went bowling, because we have a bond/connection:) Hehe. She also gave me some starburst that I enjoyed while wasting away in phsyical science. Dude, I made a fucking 49 on the last test in there. I just dont understand it at all. It really makes me feel like shit to do that poorly. Oh well, I will make it up. I can get Tina/Bill to help me because they are fucking smart as hell.

You are everything that I could ever want or need. You bring happiness to me...
Take My Hand

[07 Mar 2004|09:16pm]
[ mood | angry ]

Katie C is REALLY hot. I just thought ya'll might like to know...

I found a picture of her online at the HC website when I was looking for the soccer schedule and was like...woah. It made my heart freeze.

Take My Hand

[07 Mar 2004|09:15pm]
[ mood | angry ]

gold heart
Heart of Gold


What is Your Heart REALLY Made of?
brought to you by Quizilla

Take My Hand

[07 Mar 2004|01:51pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

Yay! I'm done with my blurty. And now I'm going shopping.

1 Let Me Slip Take My Hand

[07 Mar 2004|12:22pm]
New layout...I like it, but I have to get a new icon.
Take My Hand

[07 Mar 2004|12:00pm]
[ mood | happy ]

Holy fucking shit. I remember all of it as if it just happened. Last summer as if it were today. Me standing up by the pool, Katie C walking by and hitting me on my butt (not knowing she did it), then I turned around to see who it was and she smiled and said "That scared me. I knew I had just smacked a girl's butt, but I didnt know who it was. But, it's all good because it's you." Then we laughed. State championships when I broke the state record and she was the first one to pick me up and hug me and tell me she was proud of me when I got out of the pool. Us walking around on the playground at the District Championships talking about how hot Ben and Eric are. Talking about everything. Me and Ben sitting on the swings eating icecream, then walking back to the gym and having a tickle war with Katie C, Andy, Anne, Brandon and us two.
This summer is absolutely going to be the best summer ever. One of my favorite meets in the world was planned to be on the 17th of July. That sucks because I'm leaving for London on the 16th, but the meet got changed to the 10th when I will still be in town. That means that I can go and still be back in time for the best meet ever! (State Championships, on the 31st) I dont think anyone realizes how happy that makes me. I dont think you can begin to imagine how happy this summer is going to make me.
June 4th and 5th, 11th, 12th, and 13th, 24th, 25th and 26th. July 3rd, 10th, 30th and 31st are the weekends that I have meets in the summer. Those are the weekends that I will be with Katie C, Erin M, Ben, Abigail and Chip. How great is that?! Then during the week whenever we want to do something we will. Have I mentioned how happy I am. It's great to be in this state of mind. Last summer kicked ass, but this summer will be better because me and Katie C are a lot closer now then we were then.

I'm so fucking happy right now. NOTHING can bring me down. And, I'm going shopping later...

Take My Hand

[07 Mar 2004|10:38am]
I dreamed about them again last night. I woke up with their face still in my head and it leaves me completely breathless. I feel like my heart is floating. I know that sounds dumb, but it does...

19 days
Take My Hand

[06 Mar 2004|09:57pm]
I stole this from Brigitte... )
Take My Hand

[06 Mar 2004|09:32pm]
The movie was great. I cried, cried and cried some more. The people behind me and Cara would not shut their fucking mouths. If you are going to bring a child to a movie tell them not to fucking talk about shit the whole damn time. "Who is him?"..."Who is her?" Wtf?! Shut your fucking mouth when other people are trying to watch a movie! Omg, I really could have killed them.
On the plus side, I saw Erin! Omg, yay! :) She is so so so fucking sweet, pretty and nice. She is definately awesome.

20 days...
Take My Hand

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