||[29 Apr 2004|05:10pm]
yeah im back... oh and people ... i lost mark todayy
Your gender: ladiieee
Birthdate: february 16th
Your age: 15... only 2 years & 10 months till i can be with mark again<33
Age you act: i act more mature for my agee... forreal
Age you wish you were: i wish i was 18 so i could be with mark!!
Your height: 5'6ish
Eye color: greeeen :-D
Hair color: blondee
Lefty/righty/ambidextrous: rightyyy, lefties are freaks
Have any pets?: yess... bob my ferret & boogert my catt
Piercings?: my ears but im gettin my bellybutton pierced soon...
Tattoos?: ewww no
Do you speak another language?: frenchish
Do you have a webpage?: www.xanga.com/i_heart_tom_felton & www.hometown.aol.com/shmitty021689/whatwhat.html
Deep Thoughts About Life and You in it
Do you live in the moment?: i try to...
Do you consider yourself tolerant of others?: yess
Do you hate yourself?: yupp very much so
Do you like your handwriting?: no its hideous
Do you have any bad habits?: yupp i anialate my nailss... ugh!
If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called?: YOU THiNK YOUR LiFE SUCKS?
What's your biggest fear?: not gettin back together with mark... **shivers**
Can you sing?: bahahahah NO!
Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool?: no ma`am
What are your #1 priorities in life?: become a famous actress, marry the love of my lifee, have one son...
If you were another person, would you be friends with you?: hmm, yes?
Are you a daredevil?: i can bee
Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself?: i HATE my ability to forgive people soooo easily
Do you have a journal?: yeah
Do you think you are emotionally strong?: NO! not at all
Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life?: definatly...
Do you think life has been good so far?: NOPEEE
Are you confident?: no sirr
What is the fictional character you are most like?: uhmm, i dont know...
Do drugs?: no, drugs are for stupid people except Markk
Read the newspaper?: the comics
Pray?: as often as possible... especially when i cry myself to sleep
Go to church?: yeahh every sundayyy
Talk to strangers who IM you?: sometimesss
Sleep with stuffed animals?: nahh but i do have them on my bedd...
Take walks in the rain?: yesssssssssss
Talk to people even though you hate them?: nopee, i dont really hatee anybodyy
Drive?: 16months & i'll have my license 10months i'll have my permit
Like to drive fast?: ...not yetttttt :-D
Would or Have You Ever?
Liked your voice?: nopee i sound like a mannnn
Hurt yourself?: yeah :-( NOT something i am proud of
Been out of the country?: no... im a loserrrr
Been in love?: yes! and i still am... Markus :-D hes a m a z i n g
Had a medical emergency?: nopeee
Had surgery?: nopeee
Ran away from home?: me & laurr are planning it...
Gotten beaten up?: nopee
Been picked on?: nahh
Been on stage?: yessss
Pulled an all nighter?: yeah me & laurr use to do it all the time
If yes, what is your record?: we stayed up that whole night & then the rest of that day
Talked on the phone all night?: yesss with Markuss <33
Slept all day?: yesss
Killed someone?: nopeee
Made out with a stranger?: nahh i dont get down like that...
Been betrayed?: all the time... GRRRR
Had a dream that came true?: Mark :-D
Broken the law? : ...Markus, hahah
Have you ever killed an animal by accident?: only nasttyyyy bugggs
On purpose?: ^^ up therrr
Told a secret you swore you wouldn't tell?: yess im sorryyyy
Stolen anything?: nopeee
Been on radio/tv?: yess ma`am
Been in a mosh-pit?: not yet! the yellowcard concert is in 3 dayysss
Had a nervous breakdown?: yess :-(
Bungee jumped?: not yettt!
Had a dream that kept coming back?: yesss
Belive in life on other planets?: of course! how could earth be the only planet not too close & not too far away from the sun??
Miracles?: I'm best friends with 3 of the the greatest ones!
Magic?: pshhh fukk yess GO HARRY POTTERR <33! woot woot
Santa?: no :-( i wish i still did
Luck?: ONLY badd
Love at first sight?: noooooo
Yin and yang (that good cant exist w/o bad)?: YES!!!!!! espcially for my lifee **tear**
Witches?: yess... i wanna kill hermione granger aka emma watson... ewww
Easter bunny?: nopee :-(
Believe its possible to remain faithful forever?: yes, i swear ill be like that for Mark.. only 2years 10 months people!!1
Believe theres a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow?: nopeee
Do you wish on stars?: i use to...
Do you have any gay/lesbian/bi friends? nopeee... i wish
Who is your best friend?: i have 3... <3Laur:Ash:Jord<3
Who's the one person that knows most about you?: Laurr
Your favorite inside joke?: all of our nicknames... wow
Who's your longest known friend?: Laurr
Shyest?: i dont have a shyy friend
Funniest?: Laurr & Colleen.S
Weirdest?: Colleen.S & Ashh, especially at 5 in the morning.. lol
Ditziest?: Sarah Harkins.. Wow omg lol i love yoU!
Friends you miss being close to the most?: Ally.. even though i dont like herr now, she was really funn to be around...
Last person you talked to online?: laurrr
Who do you talk to most online?: hmmm... laur
Who are you on the phone with most?: laurr
Who do you trust most?: all of them
Who listens to your problems?: everybodyy... cuz if i have a problem i tell everyone
Who do you fight most with?: laurAn
Who's the nicest?: jorddannnn
Who's the most outgoing?: we are allllll out going
Who's the best singer?: llauren!!!!!!!
Who's on your shit-list?: NO ONE!
Do you always feel understood?: nopee...
Who's the loudest friend?: lauur
Do you trust others easily?: too easily
Who's house were you last at?: nosliw's
Name one person who's arms you feel safe in: mark :-D i love him!!!!!!!!
Do your friends know you?: yesss
Friend that lives farthest: brian in florida **tear**
Love and All That
Do you consider love a mistake?: neverr
What do you find romantic?: just the words *i love you*
Turn-on?: smilee - hairr - personality - sexy-ness - voice - eyesss
Turn-off?: smokers[excluding mark] - drugg do'ers[excluding mark] - liars - cheaters - pimpless
Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them or going out: yesss
Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractive: hmm no?
Are you in love?: yess.... mark eshelmen <333 i'll wait forever :-)
Who Was the Last Person...
That haunted you?: my mom ... ugh i HATE that
You wanted to kill?: ^^ up top
That you laughed at?: laurr & her sexxyyy walk.. haha
That laughed at you?: laurr
You went shopping with?: laurr
To make you cry?: markk
To brighten up your day?: markk
That you thought about?: markk
You saw a movie with?: laurr ashh & will-saan
You talked to on the phone?: laurr
You saw?: my mom **grrrr**
You lost?: mark :-( i hate myself
Right This Moment...
Are you going out?: nopee im stayin in
Or some random person?: uhmm does that even makee sence
Body part you're touching right now?: id rather not sayy :-D
What are you worried about right now?: never bein with myy Markus ever again
What book are you reading?: re-reading hP3
What's on your mousepad?: ...white
Are you bored?: nahh
Are you tired?: no wayy
Are you talking to anyone online?: nopee my sexyyy away message is onn
Are you talking to anyone on the phone?: nooo
Are you listening to music?: yeahh im trying to adapt to something corporate...
|»*im a badd person
||[29 Dec 2003|02:41pm]
ever since my parents told me
to stop talking to mark
my hearts been a little confused
i knew it was a bad idea to talk to him
but i thought since i loved him
talking to him was the right thing to do
».x[i TH0UGHT WR0NG]x.«
if i love him like i say i do
the right thing to do is to stop everything
before he and i get into trouble
and i can NEVER see him again
its gonna be hard ; but at least now
».x[i THiNK RiGHT]x.«
at first i thought my parents were doing this
just to make me miserable
but now im starting to get it... im just upset
it took me this long to understand because in
the time it took me to get it i broke the person
that i love more than anyone's heart
and knowing that breaks my heart i just
wish there was something i could do to change
everything but there isnt... this is soo hard
but life isnt easy. . . i hate everything...
im sorry mom »*` i lovee youu