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The words were as mystical as purring animals

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stuff [25 Sep 2003|05:42pm]
[ mood | busy ]
[ music | none ]

ok well its been about a week so i thoguht i'd update. i am going out wiht brian now, which is good i guess, cuz now i have a reason not to be a slut. lol..ok well i think im gonna join campus life. all my friends go there, and so does brian. dean goes there which is cool. hes awesome. i think him and sarah are gonna go out. hes a nice guy they r good for eachother. omg its so great talking to sarah. we are so much alike. she actually likes reading, and poetry, and hippie music! its so awesome!i think me and her are gonna go to the bookstore sometime this week. its gonna be cool. in think the guy who works there like knows me cuz im in there all the time...i mean when people start reccomending books to you, and calling you by name, it begins to get a little pathetic. but its cool b/c to be honsest i think i want to work there, and if he knows me, he might give me a job at 15 instead of 16. we didnt ahve school today b/c of a water main break. it was great. i got caught up on all my homework. oh speakign of that...i need to go check the mail to see if i got my progress report. if i did i need to thorow it away b4 my parents can see it or i will be in deep shit! ok g2g bye

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[20 Sep 2003|10:12am]
[ mood | confused ]
[ music | greenday-hitchin' a ride lol ]

i wish my fucking mom would shut up! shes upstairs like talking to the dog. its fucking annoying. well yesterday was umm..eventful. i went over alex's house, and we met aj, and kyle up at taco bell, which was lke torture cuz i didnt have any money. lol but yea i found out that sara from orchestra works there lol. yea well i think im a "player". lol. well i dont know if im going out with brian, but i really like kyle, and i have since the first day of school, so, at taco bell, while we were walking back to alex's, i made out with him. god..i like him a lot. but there is 1 problem, alex likes him too...i know she said that if he likes me she wont be mad, but i know she will. i know her. yea well were gonna let him choose, and if he doesnt like either of us, thats okay too. we will stay friends. but yea, were all going bowling(lol) today. it shall be fun. hopefully kyle decides. ok well im gonna go before i freak out. ok bye

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stuff [15 Sep 2003|06:19pm]
[ mood | sick ]
[ music | matchbox 20- unwell ]

ok well...more has happened. josh called me yesterday, and i was telling him evrything that has been going on, and so he decided to help. he 3-way called eric, and me and him told him together. josh was just there to support me. eric didnt seem to mad over the phone..he pretty much said "thanks for telling me", and that was it. then this morning at school eric gave me the friggin look of death which made me feel like shit. which i suppose i deserve. yesterday brian came over, and then sonny called, and him and brian dont get along cuz something happened which im not going to say in here. so yea..sonny came over, and was all threatening to kill brian if he messed with one of his best friends (me).then me and brian went inside for a little while, and watched tv with my mom and dad, then we went outside, and we were all being all cuddly and stuff, and we ended up making out a few times, and then some "groping" went on. lol. i got a misquito bite on my neck (i swear to god thats what it is) and my mom thought it was a hickey it was funny. but yea, and then he left, and i wrote sonny a note telling him that if he doesnt like brian then i realized that his friendship is more important to me than some guy, so yea then after school he called me, and we were talking through it, and i decided that im not gonna go out with brian. its pissing off too many people..just to name a few..sonny, alex, nick, josh. my friends are the most important thing in the world to me, and if this means losing them, then im gonna choose them over a boyfriend. im thinking of going to homecoming with this guy who asked me at the football game. its funny cuz everyone thinks hes gay but i dont think he is. and even if he is, it doenst matter to me, gay guys are more fun anyway. lol. i think that after homecoming im gonna take sonny's advice. im gonna take a break from relationships, and find out what i want in a guy. brandon obviously wasnt what i wanted, and neither was eric, or brian...so im gonna just stay single for a while, and see whats out there for me. i havent been able to do that since i have been jumping from relationship to relationship, and havent really looked beyond what is right in front of me. ok well im gonna go now. bye bye

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Everything [14 Sep 2003|10:04am]
[ mood | devious ]
[ music | nirvana- heart shaped box ]

OMG. thats the only thing i can think of to describe my weekend. ok first off, i went ot the football game. i saw this kid brian i know there, and we started talking, and he started holding me, and then we kissed. it was the sweetest thing. then he asked for my #, and then sed he was gonna call me after the game, which he did, and we talked for a long time. then on saturday, he came over, and my dad likes him which is good, and my dad doesnt even seem bothered by the fact that he is 16. while he was over, we were sitting on the couch watching tv, and he was holding me, and then we started kissing which led to making out. omg! such a good kisser. i love his lips. lol. while he was over, he invited me to a party. i would have gone except for one detail. it was at talia's house. now the only reason that is a problem, is because i swore to sonny that i would never be friends with her b/c of what she did to him. and im not gonna break my promise to him no matter what. yea and while brian was at that party, he made out with jessica. kinda pissed me off, but we arent going out so there is nothing i can do about it. so then he called me after the party, and said that he wanted to be single for right now, and that he did like me, but he just wanted to be friends with benefits. lol im not complaining. lol i went to the movies with alex, and matthew, and rachel, it was pretty fun we got yelled at by the guy at the end of the row tho. he was an asshole lol. when i got home, some of my sister's friends were over in the back yard, so i went out there for a little while, and then brian called so i went inside. haha we had phone sex lol. oh, and while he was at the party, taliwhacker told him that me and alex are "really good friends" if u know what i mean. WHICH IS NOT TRUE. i dont know where she would get that from. but he didnt seem to bothered with it, and asked if he could watch and i sed that there was nothing to watch cuz its not true.
*******************************************************************************
notice the one detail missing frommt journal entry? ERIC. i cheated on him so badly with brian im gonna have to dump him. i have been noticing lately that we have nothing in common anyways so im breaking up with him. i am not breaking up with him to go out with brian though mind you since we are just gonna be friends with benefits. ok well im gonna go now. brian is supposed to come over YaY! but i dunno if he is going to b/c his friend was supposed to come over, and they were gonna get high. ok well bye now

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ok im gonna finish now [08 Sep 2003|08:05pm]
[ mood | crappy ]
[ music | nirvana- in bloom ]

k..well rachel likes andy, and she aaked him to homecoming today. i was so proud that she had that balls to do it! but the poo head said no! its like his parents anniversary or something. i think hes lying, but idk. hes a good guy. i dont think he would lie but u never know. yea, and the dumbasses in math are starting to let up. they kinda ignore me now which is a good thing. i hate them so much they really need to fucking grow up! yea so thats pretty much all that happened today..oh and sara called me& i think im geting a cold which makes me feel liek poo! lol ok im done

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boring day [08 Sep 2003|07:29pm]
[ mood | sick ]
[ music | nirvana ]

today went by so fast! tomorrow is gonna go by so slow, cuz its picture day. eww.. my pictures always turn out bad, but this year it has to be good, cuz its going on my student id. omg today i was walking to health, and i saw eric, and i gave him a hug and a kiss like always, and mr. eaton (porn obsessed health teacher) was all like watching and stuff it was creepy. i have to babysit this weekend, maybe, the lady wants to meet me first, but i hope i dont have to stay there long cuz i really want to go tot the movies with him, and alex, and rachel, and sara, and andy, and chris. its gonna be fun. if i can go that is. i am so glad. i talked to my mom abotu eric, and since ive gone to school with him since like frigin kindergarden, she knows him, and she approves! wooooohhhoooo. my dad doesnt really care, but he still wants to meet him and stuff. it was kinda creepy today cuz i gave mark a hug, and he liek had his arm around my waist, and it was all uncomfortable. ok well i gotta eat dinner. ill write more later.

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im bored [07 Sep 2003|04:30pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]
[ music | less than jake- the science of selling yourself short ]

well my parents have been watching football ALL DAY. so ive pretty much been able to do whatever i want, except they are making me clean my room and do laundry. ahh i hate laundry. me, alex, rachel, eric, andy, and chris are gonna go see dickie roberts this weekend, which shall be fun. grrr alex isnt answering her phone. i think something is wrong. ok well im gonna go. bye bye

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nothing really [07 Sep 2003|10:43am]
[ mood | hungry ]
[ music | less than jake- cheese (lol) ]

well friday night i slept over rachels house with alex. lol we had a pretty fun time i must say. its cool cuz me and alex finally found someone who is exactly like us. her mom is awesome..she's kinda like alex's mom. lol we went swimmingat 9:30 am. lol it was freezing! but we were hoping to get mono. lol cuz "its like the best diet ever" (romy and michelles high school reunion). lol yea. well so far im happy with eric. he is such a sweetie. and im really happy that were finally going out because i have liked him ofr a while, and vice versa. i think were going to homecoming, but idk if i wanna go. i dont really dance, and whats the point of a dance if u dont dance? lol...i think illg o, but just to be with him. we were supposed to go to the movies yesterday, but we didnt have a ride *tear* but yea today is gonna be boooorriiinnnnngggg. i never thought id say this, but i want to go back to school. it is so great. lol ok well im gonna go ..the fat kid needs food when she wakes up!

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today [04 Sep 2003|06:03pm]
[ mood | blank ]
[ music | greenday-basketcase ]

ok well this morning we had to go to school early cuz mr. berken had to put on my string..which i have been waiting for 2 days! then me and alex went to meet everyone in the cafe, and eric asked me out..finallly! hes liked me for 2 years, and he finallly asked! i sed yes of course. haha i was laughing at bruce today..lol he has a black eye, and he wont tell anyone how he got it. its so funny. oh yea, and since alex doenst want to go out with mark, she sed that she was going out with callea. alex was all excited cuz she got to kiss callea, cuz she thinks shes hot. ok well thats enough 4 now.

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shit [01 Sep 2003|07:34pm]
[ mood | frustrated ]
[ music | janes addiction-caught stealing ]

ok i dont know what to do. there are 3 guys. eric, bruce, and one that shall remain nameless for now. i dont know if im gonna go out with eric, or bruce, or have fun with the other one. uhhhhh so confusing. on another note, i slept over alex's on saturday. it was fun..omg too many new inside jokes to remember. hoot boot! we watched the used dvd, and were gonna do the stupid walk that bert did in the video down the hall, and fall down. oh its gonna be great. ugh my dad is on vacation again! im gonna have to ride the bus all week grrrrr!!! oh well, i get to sit with bruce, but id rather matt took me home. ok thats enough im bored.

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quiz results [29 Aug 2003|08:50pm]
[ mood | crappy ]
[ music | coldplay-the scientist ]

HASH(0x8305de8)
borderline


Which Personality Disorder Do You Have?
brought to you by Quizilla


god now how long have i been telling you people this?!

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people [29 Aug 2003|06:12pm]
[ mood | confused ]
[ music | janes addiction- got caught stealing ]

well me and brandon are no longer together..which is for the best seeing as how we never got to see eachother anyway. i think im gonna go out with eric, but i dont now cuz there is this other guy i like, but i dont know how he feels about me. i know he at least likes me as a friend, but yea. i think i just wanna be friends with him for now...i wanna ask him to homecoming u know like to go as friends but idk yet. ugh today sucked cuz i got my chain taken away by the office aids. i got it back at the end of the day but still it pissed me off. oooo and alex might have a bf soon! woooooo go alex! ok well im gonna go now. bye bye.

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school [22 Aug 2003|02:56pm]
[ mood | excited ]
[ music | misfits-last caress ]

ok well orientation was boring as fuck. lol the only class of mine i found was homeroom. oh well ill figure it out. my locker doesnt open but the again neither did anyone elses in that row. my mom was all being obnoxious saying how if i screw uo one time that shes sending me to a catholic school. im not even fucking catholic! on monday my sister is takng me and sonny to school, and i have to help him find his locker cuz he didnt find it wednesday. then i have to meet susie outside of the west office, and christina in the west cafeteria. ugh the next 4 years are gonna suck.

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[19 Aug 2003|05:50pm]
[ mood | anxious ]
[ music | nothing ]

well today i went to alex's house, and hung out with her, nick, and matt. tomorrow is orientation for high school. ugh im scared outta my pants. ok well thats all i have to write ...I LOVE U BRANDON

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boredem like always [18 Aug 2003|03:21pm]
[ mood | bored ]
[ music | godsmack- i fucking hate you ]

god i am so sick of being bored. summer is almost over, and i havent done anything....another summer wasted just like the rest of them. i am kinda nervous about this year of school. i'm kinda excited..kinda scared..mixed feelings. i know for sure that i will have homeroom with alex because they go in alphabetical order. i hope i have lunch with either alex, josh or sonny. i know for sure im gonna have algebra with sonny, and orchestra with alex.
ok well im gonna go be bored some more. bye.. I LOVE YOU BRANDON!!

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[15 Aug 2003|05:31pm]
[ mood | lazy ]
[ music | whatever my sister is listening to upstairs. ]

today was boring as fuck. i had to "babysit" my grandpa, and cousin. my grandpa got out of the nursing home a couple days ago, and hes living with my aunt again. my aunt wanted to go out, so she had me stay there to watch him, and make sure he took his pills. i got 20 bucks for it, so im not exactly complaining. lol. and i have to do it again on the 23rd so ill be getting more money. woohoo. lol. tomorrow my mom is taking me to the mall to get some more stuff for school. ok well im gonna go.

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[14 Aug 2003|04:55pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]
[ music | nothing ]

WHOA that was wierd. the power just went out..i turned on the tv, and it said that it is out all the way to new york, and canada, and detroit. i think its funny. i just hope there arent any major car accidents because the traffic lights are out. i was on the phone, and it went staticky like 4 times. anger! ok well that all i had to say

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[13 Aug 2003|09:41pm]
[ mood | happy whoa ]
[ music | nothing ]

brandon..i took this one for you
Steve.  Yummy.
Steve Righ?


Which MSI band member are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
*******************************************************************************************************
Bondage Bear
Bondage Bear


Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

You represent... anger.
You represent... anger.
Mad at the world, eh? You have a tendency to...
freak out easily. Overly emotional about
everything, you're most prone to bouts of
cruelty and moodiness. Other people may be
afraid of the fact that you explode so easily,
but at least you're honest... even if you're
honest about not liking anything.


What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla

You represent... anger.
You represent... anger.
Mad at the world, eh? You have a tendency to...
freak out easily. Overly emotional about
everything, you're most prone to bouts of
cruelty and moodiness. Other people may be
afraid of the fact that you explode so easily,
but at least you're honest... even if you're
honest about not liking anything.


What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla

You are addicted to pants!!!! There's no turning
back, you're addicted!!


Are You Addicted to Pants?
brought to you by Quizilla

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[13 Aug 2003|09:02pm]
My sister took me to cash all my change today. I have $37 not including the pennies that I couldn't cash because I didn't have roller thingies. I had to volunteer today too. I went early so I could look around, and I got every batman comic novel they had. I am in the process of reading the batman and robin story: dark victory. It's pretty good so far. I am so bored right now, and Brandon isn't on, so there is really no one to talk to. Sonny came over yesterday, and he showed me a demo of the video game medevil. It looks awesome. Then me, Desi, and matt gill (her friend) went to purple lotus. Sonny didn't go because he didn't want to go to a hippie store. Lol I bought a ring. I think I'm going to make desi take me back up there this week because I finally have money. I am gonna buy the skull coffin I saw. It has roses on it, it's so great, and its only 12 bucks. Lol. Ugh im hungry. I haven't eaten since noon, and all I ate was a pb&j sandwich. Oh yea?.my aunt called today, and my grandpa is back home, but he's going through withdrawal from the drugs they were giving him there. My aunt wants me and desi to go "babysit" him once and a while so she can go out, and do what she needs to do. OMG?at drug mart today I saw shea. I wanted to kick her ass. She gave me the look of death. Lol **correction** I have $32 I just gave my dad money to go get me food. Lol. Ok well that's all I have to say. Bye bye...I LOVE YOU BRANDON!!
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[12 Aug 2003|02:36pm]
[ mood | tired ]
[ music | the ataris- boys of summer. (i listen to that song waaaaay too often) ]

omg yesterday was so great. the party went well. we were friggin off the wall..and that was normal for us. i think brandon thought we were a tad bit odd. lol, but then again..uhh...we kinda are. i mean for gods sake we made cheese flavored ice cream. timmy actually thought it was orange sherbert. we tricked him into eating it, because he hates cheese. lol it was great. then we were all outside, and me and brandon were in his car getting ready to do stuff, and then alex's mom came outside. it sucked. yea and in the morning we went to see freaky friday with liz. (me alex stina and susie). it was a pretty good movie, but it was so friggin corny. alex's mom cried. lol. i found that amusing. she said that they were happy tears. lol. my mom sucks. lol i know that was random, but i dont think that there is one person who would disagree with me on that statement. ok bye

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