09:57pm 06/10/2003
  uggg----hmm today was ok i guess...nothing really that extraordinary-cept meagan gave me something she wrote that was amazing, i thought it was really good...that made me smile--hopefully it will do the same for her..uhh talked to erik a little bitty bit today--yeah so hes sending mixed signals..yeah the ones that no one wants to deal with--those would be what hes sending me...so sooner or later im gonna give..mm maybe not..just because hes fun to be with, and quite halairious i might add, plus hes pretty sympathetic...from what i can see right now..and thats the kind of guy im looking for...one thats nice, not an asshole, he himself even told me he tries to not be a jerk...its wonderful how much it means when someone really isnt mean all the time and you know they barely have to try at it-they're just molded into that frame and it comes to them as an everyday thing..Erik's one of those people i think...i dont know him inside and out...but it would be nice to get to know him..even if nothing came out of it relationship wise---just to have a good friend thats always nice and has the same morals as myself would be awesome...
ENOUGH ABOUT ERIK---im telling you ppl way too much..and i dont know you, much less do i even know him hardly

ok soo me and chance are ok? i think? ///i hope///...not sure about that..ill try as long as i can though too keep chance as a close friend...hes awesome..he listens...even if it doesnt pertain to him...he listens and acts as though he cares...even if he silently wishes i would fall off the face of the earth--he still acts like he wants to hear about it all...that makes me feel better--feel wanted maybe? feel like i have a friend who cares...

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