Blurty for liss.
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| Tuesday, May 6th, 2003 |
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FASHION: 1. Do you wear a watch?: not usually. 2. How many coats and jackets do you own?: like one. i wear sweatshirts. 3. Favorite pants/skirt color?: blue. 4. Most expensive item of clothing?: not that expensive... prolly my shoes, only 40 bucks. 5. What kind of shoes do you wear?: nike... they're red. YOUR FRIENDS: 1. Do your friends 'know' you?: that would be why i call them friends. 2. What do they tend to be like?: random, funny, goody-two-shoes. ;) 3. Are there traits in you that are universally liked?: perhaps. 4. How many people do you tell everything to?: zero. yep, count em: NONE. Film, TV, BOOKS: 1. Favorite band ever?: Finch. 2. Most listened to bands: currently Hot Rod Circuit. 3. Do you find any musicians good-looking?: mmhmm. 4. Can you play an instrument?: not very well. 5. Do you own old school nikes?: uh... at the risk of sounding stupid what kind are they? 6. Do you wear tight pants?: not purposely. 7. Is there more than one zipper in your pants?: in one of them. 8. Do you own a messenger bag?: no. 9. Do you wear your messenger bag across your chest?: no. 10. Do you own braces?: no i didn't even know you owned those things, i thought you wore them. 11. Are braces worn anywhere besides the mouth?: from what i hear. 12. Do you have short, shaggy hair?: no. 13. Does your hairstyle exceed a height of 3 inches?: a height? 14. Would you classify your hair as a deadly weapon?: uh... sure. 15. Do you think mohawks are "neat"?: mmhmm, except they look weird on guys. 16. Is your hair black or red?: it sure isn't. 17. Do you have a favorite brand of hair dye?: i don't dye my hair. 18. Do you own a bandana?: no. 19. Do you wear plugs in your ears?: no. 20. Are you amused by safety pins?: yeah. 21. Have you ever used duct tape as a sewing substitute?: i have. 22. Do you own one or more objects with studs or spikes in them?: yes. 23. Do you own one or more articles of clothing from dogpile, lip service,or tiger of london?: no. 24. Do you enjoy leopard print?: no. 25. Are you disgruntled?: a lot of the time. 26. Are you an anarchist?: yes. 27. Does the American flag anger you?: no. 28. Are you "working class"?: i am not sure. 29. Do you dislike "preps"?: mmhmm. 30. Do you dislike Hot Topic?: no. 31. Do you smoke cigarettes?: i don't. 32. Do you smoke cloves?: i don't. 33. Are you a thin waif?: i'm thin, not sure what a waif is though. 34. Are you vegan/vegetarian?: nope. 35. Do you think meat is murder?: i don't. 38. Have you ever gone a week without a shower?: no i shower daily. thanks. 39. Have you ever been avoided due to your odor?: i'm hoping not. 40. Do you know who Jack Kerouac is?: mmmmm, no? 41. Do you like Mr. Kerouac?: can't say i don't. 42. Are you a member of the makeout club?: well i sure hope not. 43. Do you say "rad"?: sometimes. LOVE &RELATIONSHIPS: 1. Do you have a bf/gf?: no, by choice. 2. Do you have a crush?: yes. 3. How long have you liked him/her: about a month... no, less than that. 4. Why do you like this person?: i have my reasons. 5. If you're single, why are you single?: because i want to be. 6. How long was your longest relationship?: like a month. 7. How long was your shortest relationship?: two days. 8. Who was your 1st love?: ... must i name him? 9. What do you miss about them?: uh... there might be something. |
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| 2 forgot me| it's that simple | ||
| Sunday, May 4th, 2003 |
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 You're Three Simple Words! Hmmm....is a nemesis from the past coming back to haunt you? Which song on Finch's What It Is To Burn album are you? (13 results w graphics) brought to you by Quizilla  Cloudy What type of weather element are you? (With pictures) brought to you by Quizilla |
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| Friday, May 2nd, 2003 |
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 You're Apathetic Mode! Which of My Moods Are You? brought to you by Quizilla mmmmmmmmmmhm. I'm about to indulge on a Download Bright Eyes Fest. Sound good? Sounds lovely. |
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All right people, here's the deal. I just re-did my whole friends list. A lot of the people on there I never read their journal. If I took you off, feel free to take me off your list too. Here's a list of all the people remaining: [x] Aheartderailed [x] emoguy0000 [x] emostar [x] facultyclaims [x] hardkore [x] iamdarkpoetry [x] inutile [x] melee_rocks [x] sporkus [x] starting [x] uncomplete [x] watchmeasifallx [x] xsummer_starsx [x] yourowndizaster [x] _stay_with_me_ |
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| 1 forgot me| it's that simple | ||||
| Monday, April 28th, 2003 |
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I'm torn and trapped in the riptide and all I want is the easy way out. Who knew someone this far could come so close to me? I think I lost my true self in your pretty green eyes. And even if they aren't real, the misery they have bestowed upon me is concrete evidence of the damage they can do. Could I find an answer in hearing you laugh, seeing your smile again? And all I want is the easy way out. The two nights in your room were well worth it, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I wish we had more time. I wish things were different. I wish... And all I get is the hard way out. Who knew life could be so complicated? Each breath you take crashes into my core like a boulder. I'm impressed. Your hand reaching for mine in the dark... and the only way I can feel it again is in my dreams. All I want is the easy way out... and all I get is glossy pictures of your smile and jaded memories. xxx liss |
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| Saturday, April 19th, 2003 |
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Hey guess what? I have a boyfriend. His name is Tom. He's 16, lives in Jackson, and in 10th grade. [[wo0t and I'm only in 8th.]] |
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| 6 forgot me| it's that simple | ||||||
| Friday, April 18th, 2003 |
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| I got 12 hours of sleep. I guess from 2:45 to 3:30 aren't great sleeping hours. |
| Thursday, April 17th, 2003 |
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| Yo yo, I downloaded a client. I want to see if it works even though I know it will. I'm interviewing my friends about girlfriends. Heh. I'm bored; I've interviewed all the people on my buddy list... Anyway, bye, I love you! | ||||||
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if you're a boy and have time...: 1) What do you look for in a girlfriend? 2) What don't you like in a girl? 3) Does a lot of makeup turn you off? 4) Do any superficial things ((looks, weight, etc.)) matter to you? |
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| 4 forgot me| it's that simple | ||||
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I'm feeling kind of low right now. Not for a particular reason. Ian is telling me what a great friend I am. Bah. I get to leave here in three days. Thank god. Living with ((practically)) strangers for a week. No family. Oh, I need this. |
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| Monday, April 14th, 2003 |
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3/31/2003 Dear You: I figured it out. It took a midnight on a Tuesday morning for me to learn. I'm writing you a letter. In it, it will say "No." No, you don't love me, so don't say you do. No, you never will. No, nothing's wrong. No, I won't let you use me. No, I'm not jealous of her. But most important of all, no, I won't let you go. But in the note that you'll never receive will be the word "Yes." Yes, I do love you. Yes, I understand why you do those things [[I think]]. Yes, I forgive you, again. Yes, it's okay. Yes, I trust you. Yes, I know I should leave you behind, but yes, I know I'm dependant on you. And lastly, yes, I'll defend you until my dying day. Now maybe I'm letting my emotions control me, or I'm blinded by my love for you, but I can't see anything wrong. No matter what you do, in my eyes you'll always be perfect. No matter if you curse, cheat, or lie, the feeling's still there. It doesn't matter. Maybe I'm a fool for falling in love with you and perhaps I'm lonely and vulnerable. But that's why I have you, isn't it? My family, my friends, they don't understand. They never will. My feelings for you have overwhelmed me. I'm drowning in the rapidly flowing river of you. Everyday I learn something new about you, and, whether it's bad or good, it makes me love you more. So many imperfections coming together to form the perfect silhouette of the man I thought I knew. Whether you love her or not, I'll still love you. Whether you lie and exploit our time together to make youself look cool, I'll still love you. I adore you. You are everything I always wanted, yet everything I hope to never be. You're a rare find. Even if I'm just being a naive teenager, I know that there's few others like you. All I need to know is that I'm something you'll be missing. It's pathetic, the way I bend over backwards to please you. Doing things I know are wrong just to be with you. It's ridiculous. We're ridiculous. xxx liss 4/7/2003 [[this one doesn't really make any sense]] You may not think you mean a lot to me, or anything for that matter, but that's not true. I hate to see my friends in pain and I'd hate to sit by and watch you travel the same path of pain that I chose. Hindsight is one of my better qualities. So I'm telling you to steer clear of him. Up until now, my reason has been clear to me: he's more trouble than he's worth. Now I'm not sure if that was my full intention. I'd sleep on a bed of nails before I'd let this one slip away. After all that's happened, there's not glue strong enough to hold together the remnants of my broken heart. Tonight, I'll raise myself above this place and sing songs loud enough to wake you up. Wake up! Now is not the time to be arguing over our petty differences. Our problems are almost invisible compared to some others. Let's make it through this night. 4/7/2003 I'm lost and empty without you. This hollow shell of a girl is screaming to be held. It's not my fault that I keep running back to him. He's the only one to ever make me feel complete. When I'm in his arms, the world stops spinning and floats away. He takes me to a different place. His kiss can make everything melt together into one big painting of perfection. No matter what is going down, he's the only one to make things right. It's as if he absorbs my emotions - my anger, sadness, frustration, and pain - and combines them into one unseen elevator which he sends crashing to the floor to never be seen again. When you get so used to one person being your escape from everything, who do you run away to if he's the one causing the pain? It's almost as if he does it on purpose. My ears still burn from the time I heard you crying, and I didn't say a thing. I can't even count how many times my throat has been left on fire from the words I couldn't bring myself to say. You smile as you notice my vapid lifeless body twirled around your finger. An invisible droplet of glass slides down my cheek as I am reminded of all you put me through. The day the sky is vacant of stars is the night your face will be erased from my memory. Clinging desperately to your shoulders, we'll watch the sun go down tonight. I hope you enjoy the crimson sunset... 4/13/2003 The sky's not dark without your love anymore. You used to be my shooting star. Now I see that all you were was a falling meteor planning on destroying my life. Well, I dodged this planet, and I fled the scene. I hid behind fake smiles and pretended to be over you. Well, I guess you're a fool because you fell for my act. You left me and I layed there for days and you forgot. Or more, you knew and you didn't care. You avoided me and evaded my eyes which burned from staring at your body. You saw me and looked past me to your new best friend who you cheated on me with, and I knew and didn't care. I was oblivious to who you are. After two months together, I barely know you. I was blinded by the flames shooting off you and I mistaked you for a falling star. I mistaked you for something beautiful. You think you're so fucking special. Emotionless and apathetic, I stare at your picture and whisper, "This is the man I love." I think of your beautiful smile, your perfectly-flipped hair, well-thought-out lies, and bittersweet betrayal. Looking down at the paper that is forever scarred with your image, I laugh. "That is the boy I thought I loved." For a while, it was real. You actually cared. The night you slipped your ring onto my finger and said you loved me, I knew it was true. There was no mistaking the pure emotion in your voice. But anytime after that, your words were hollow. Something changed and you didn't care anymore. When you left me, I felt my world crashing down around me. I wanted to die and I took a razor and tried to do it. And I threw it out of the shower. I realized things were out of control and I cried because I knew I was finally letting you go. And I thought I was over you. When I hugged you the next day, it was empty and meaningless. It didn't even make me smile like it used to. That day, I hugged a stranger that I used to think I knew. That was the day I moved on with my life. |
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| 2 forgot me| it's that simple | ||||||
| Sunday, April 13th, 2003 |
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Ah, fuck. I loved you. |
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| Wednesday, April 9th, 2003 |
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Mom: "What do you want for dinner?" Me: "Monkey." Mom: "We don't have monkey." Me: "Soup, and Clay Aiken, please." Me: "I want a monkey." Mom: "No more pets!" Me: "Not even a monkey?" Mom: "No!" Me: "I'll pay for it!" Mom: "No monkeys!" Jay: "Where would you get money for a monkey?" Me: "-grins proudly- I have 200 bucks!" Jay: "Yeah and how much do you think a monkey costs?" Me: "$154." Me: "If I had a monkey... you could never play with it." Jay: "You think I care? I hate monkeys." |
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| Monday, April 7th, 2003 |
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God, I feel you slipping away from me. I never see you anymore. You always say you'll call me, but you never do. Sometimes I just get so frustrated with your lies. Sometimes I just break down, feel worthless, and miss you. I know I'm being used. You don't want me. I'm second-choice. We all know it. I'm about as important as this April snow sliding down the windowpane. Nothing. Why do you lie to me so much? Do you take me for a fool? I guess she rejected you; is that why you suddenly want me back? I won't let it happen this time. You're such a sucker for a sweet talker . . . |
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| 2 forgot me| it's that simple | ||||||||
| Sunday, April 6th, 2003 |
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| It's early and already I wait for your call. With my hand interlaced in yours, you told me you wanted me back. I looked away with tears in my eyes because that's what I wanted but I had promised so many otherwise. So I didn't say anything. I never planned on falling back into you. I thought we could just be friends, but I guess it's never possible when one touch sends shivers down my spine and one look from your perfect eyes can make me feel so completely alone. I tried to resist when I stood behind you and you wrapped my arms around your waist. I didn't plan on dropping my head to your shoulders and breathing you in. And after that, all was lost. I was gone. And you kept asking me what was wrong, why did I look so upset when you held me in your arms? I thought I could get over you. My disheveled heart looks so perfectly disgusting on your sleeve as you show it off to your admirers . . . | ||||||||
| 3 forgot me| it's that simple | ||||||||
| Monday, March 17th, 2003 |
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Today... [x] I was called a lesbian because I spend a lot of time with my female best friend. [x] I verbally fought back against the populars who said my "music is horrible." [x] "Your lovely love's lovely article, which is not lovely at all." [x] Fake-fought with Meaghan about "Will" who is MINE. [x] Talked to a girl who is friends with "HER". [x] I learned that A.J. is still mad at me............. =( [x] I made first cuts for the school softball team. Other than that.... I learned something today... I KNOW YOU ARE READING THIS... YES, YOU!!! Yawn... "Should've done something but I've done it enough, by the way your hands were shaking, rather waste some time with you." Awwwwwwwwwwww.... Devin was sad-ish today.... -feels bad- |
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| 7 forgot me| it's that simple | ||||||
| Thursday, March 13th, 2003 |
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My god, I hate you. I wish you would just die. Just... burn in hell. Yeah, I know you didn't do anything to me... But I hate you for what you did to him. And for what he did to me because of you. So, I hate you. |
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| 4 forgot me| it's that simple | ||||
| Wednesday, March 12th, 2003 |
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Rawr. I'm lonely, tired, and have a headache. Need I say more? |
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| 3 forgot me| it's that simple | ||||||
| Monday, March 10th, 2003 |
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la la la... well... nada lada going on here... just want to ask myself why i try to rush things? i need to wait and when the right time comes, it'll happen... but other than that, yeah... nothing much really... we started the GEPAs today... they are so gay... they were kinda hard -- we have to keep going until thursday too... not fun. laaaa i keep thinking its tuesday?? right. |
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| 1 forgot me| it's that simple | ||||
| Saturday, March 8th, 2003 |
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Hey hey everyone... Well I must say things are going quite all right in Liss-ville... Aside from, of course, the occasional drama... And my emo boy makes me so happy... To know how scared he is of falling in love... and then him saying he loves me... wow... but people scare me... everything people have said have made me afraid that he is gonna do stuff with other people... but he swears he won't... and he tells me not to ever think like that... so iuno... and plus sarah is like obsessed with him, so that's never good... anihoo... that's about it... softball is starting soon... =\ not really looking forward to it... oh well |
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Blurty for liss.
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lonely.
mellow.
tired.
weird.
nostalgic.
irritated.
confused.
indescribable.