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Love [30 Jun 2004|09:21am] [ mood | loved ] [ music | Kesetiaan ] When Fir asked me the other day why did i love him.. *Hmm.. i find that was the toughest question he ever asked.. And so i began to ask myself.. well.. "What makes this man so special to me?".. He said i shouldnt be thinking so hard bout this question.. but i think.. i should.. & find all the answes to my question.. So here goes Baby.. All the reasons why i love you.. * Chemistry.. For a love, there MUST be a chemistry.. He had it the moment we began to talk.. & i remembered the first time we went out, it seemed like we've known each other for years * Honest.. i guess i was one of the few people who really knew bout his HISTORY.. History of which many would have run & flee from him after knowing his facts of life.. *hehe... but i stayed.. i've seen many has changed for the worse.. & i truly believe people can change for the better too.. & he proved me right.. * Responsible.. i dont think there's many men who give half of their monthly salary to me their parents..But he did.. so that his mom could settle all the household needs.. in addition.. He's paying almost all of the house bills, including the handphone bills.. * Respect.. He loves his parents.. & thinks that Mothers are the greatest persons of all.. He's NOT the type who tags wherever his Mom goes.. & yet he's able to show love for his Mom & respect my mom all the same.. * Bubbly- funny.. i love men who love to talk & able to blend in with my moods.. im the crazy type which friends sometimes felt embarrassed because of me.. Hes the crazy type too.. Which explain why im crazily in love with him.. :) * Love.. i love him.. & i think thats the most important thing.. There's no reason why i should elope with another man.. Of course there's some MORE factors on why i love him.. But i guess.. i shall post it on another day.. Hehe REASONS WHY I HAPPEN TO LOVE YOU When i look into your lovely eyes Only God knows how i feel When i look into your tender eyes My pain seems to slowly heal Whenever i see your lovely smile God, it brighter my day Whenever i see your sincere smile It makes my day in a perfect way When i listen to your meaningful words My hidden hopes rises & soar When i listen to your romantic words It makes me confuse in a way or more When i feel your gentle touch i have the feelnigs right from the start Whenever i feel your comforting touch i know you hold the key to my heart Whenever you give me an encouraging look i have the confidence to do my best Whenever you give me a loving look i know i'll make it through it every test Every i think of only you i thnik of the different things you always do Everytime i think of only you i find different reasons why i love you! ..Post your Thoughts on Screen here..

On your knees.. [26 Jun 2004|09:53am] [ mood | annoyed ] [ music | On my Knees- 411 ] On My Knees I can't fall down on my knees (I thought you loved me) And apologise to you (If you really loved me you would of stayed with me) (And apologised to me that's all i asked for) Coz that aint my style (Well let me hear what you had to say earlier) I remember how we met it was on the train How could i forget you smiled and looked at me The soft of your lips, they captured me The whole ride down we kept our eyes on each other And then we sat, down together You gave me your number, said give me a call I thought i wouldn't call at all Here we are fell in love like hand to glove Pure bliss from above Now all we seem to do is fuss and fight We never seem to get it right See there's too much fire so much desire So it took a little time to take me higher I'm sorry if i hurt you and i went astray I guess we gotta call it a day Ha heh I remember one night when we were home alone You were on the sofa i was on the phone You overheard me call out my best friends name That's when u went crazy started going insane Grabbed the phone from my hand Backed me against the wall Shouting and asking who was on the call You wouldn't believe me when i said it's just a friend That's when all the madness began You kept yelling wild I fell to the floor Crying in hysteria cant try w'you no more I knew you had a temper I wish i didn't see it You wanted me to be faithful I told you i could be it But that didn't stop you from putting your hands on my face You simply said you had to put me in my place At the end of every tunnel there's always a light And the door.. it sure looks right That's why-hy-hy-hy-hy He's got you begging on your knees Crying in your sleep Making you believe him But you're stronger Than you'll ever know girl You control your own world No need to take no more [x2] Yo, Heh yo I asked you to calm down Asked you who was on the phone put the horn down You had a glass of wine a Versace night gown, a lime green one That i bought you for your trip from the cruise you won I don't wanna fool with those male friends I told you back then when we first got together I don't trust those men And you did it again I lost my temper laid down and wrecked the house boo That's all i can remember, I'm sorry [Outro] I can't fall down on my knees And apologise to you Coz that aint my style Hmmm... i think this song is perfect for my best friend.. Suhanah! ..Post your Thoughts on Screen here..

Never Ever [22 Jun 2004|09:28am] [ mood | nostalgic ] [ music | Buka Pintu ] Never Ever A few questions that I need to know.. How you could ever hurt me so.. I need to know what I've done wrong.. And how long it's been going on.. Was it that I never paid enough attention?.. Or did I not give enough affection?.. Not only will your answers keep me sane.. but I'll know never to make the same mistake again.. You can tell me to my face or even on the phone.. You can write it in a letter, either way, I have to know.. Did I never treat you right?.. Did I always start the fight?.. Either way, I'm going out of my mind.. all the answers to my questions.. I have to find.. My head's spinning Boy, I'm in a daze I feel isolated Don't wanna communicate I'll take a shower, I will scour I will rub To find peace of mind The happy mind I once owned, yeah Vexing vocabulary runs right through me The alphabet runs right from A to Z Conversations, hesitations in my mind You got my conscience asking questions that I can't find I'm not crazy I'm sure I ain't done nothing wrong, no I'm just waiting 'Cause I heard that this feeling won't last that long Never ever have I ever felt so low When you gonna take me out of this black hole? Never ever have I ever felt so sad The way I'm feeling yeah, you got me feeling really bad Never ever have I had to find I've had to dig away to find my own peace of mind I've Never ever had my conscience to fight The way I'm feeling, yeah, I just don't feel right I'll keep searching Deep within my soul For all the answers Don't wanna hurt no more I need peace, got to feel at ease Need to be.. Free from pain~ going insane My heart aches, yeah Sometimes vocabulary runs right through my head The alphabet runs right from A to Z Conversations, hesitations in my mind You got my conscience asking questions that I can't find I'm not crazy, I'm sure I ain't done nothing wrong I'm just waiting 'Cause I heard that this feeling won't last that long You can tell me to my face, You can tell me on the phone, Uh, You can write it in a letter, babe 'Cause I really need to know You can tell me to my face You can tell me on the phone Uh, You can write it in a letter, babe 'Cause I really need to know You can write it in a letter, babe You can write it in a letter, babe i was running through all my old junks the other day because Mom has been complaining that my room was becoming a mice den.. *Ohh Mom!.. Since i was free & well.. i couldnt agree less with her, i began tidying up my stuffs in the drawers.. i was left with the last drawer.. The only drawer i wished i didnt touch.. it was full of memories.. Good ones.. & even the worse- ever ones.. Slowly i read the letters one by one.. The first card he gave till the last glass he shattered.. i smiled to myself.. i remembered the first time we conduct study groups together.. Ohh Sue.. She was there too.. Not that we really studied.. but we managed to pretend through.. December 2000~ Chrismas was just around the corner.. & the only place that snowed was Tanglin Mall(Did i get the name right?..Pardon my name- forgetting Syndrome).. & so we went.. Which turned out later.. it was the first time i held his hand.. hehe.. The feeling, i remembered was magical.. Days passed.. & i still couldnt believe my Lady luck.. i'm with a man whom i'd a crush on all my life..(Although not anymore!).. it was until that fateful day.. HE suddenly had a change of heart.. A change of feelings.. & even a change of attitude.. i wish i knew why.. He told me.. but i wish i knew it for real.. Was i not good enough for him?.. Or was i too good for him.. Till he felt that we aint going anywhere.. Suddenly he said we cant communicate.. Out of the sudden he said he wasnt sure if i WAS the one..& Suddenly.. Too suddenly.. He left me where he once picked me up.. Staring at the cards he once said he'd love me forever.. Has he lied?.. Was i being fooled?.. What was his motive?.. He said he didnt mean to hurt me.. But he's destroyed me, my trust for men.. & even my love.. He took half my soul & threw the key to the access.. How am i supposed to wake myself inside.. i thought that was the hardest thing i could ever do.. Pretending to be strong.. That was my next mission.. it was almost impossible.. although i managed to fool all around me through.. The said i was strong.. But they never knew.. i cried through my nights.. i struggled through my days.. i wasted my weeks as i go on with the months.. Life was NEVER fair.. but i believe God IS great.. He met me with a wonderful man.. A man whom once was in my shoes.. He needed a support.. & a backbone to lean on.. i gave him a little of mine.. & he shared his.. & i felt.. the days became a little more brighter as days passed.. He then became the light of my life.. Although i am really sure that this man is the one.. im still terrified.. Afraid to love.. & to be loved again.. i know i was being unfair to my current bf.. but i will try.. i will try to love him uncontionally.. Just like i once love a man who well.. doesnt really deserve my kind of love!.. Now.. Almost a year has passed since he left me.. i wondered if he ever regretted what he's done.. but as for me.. i think i should thank him for leaving me.. Because now.. i've met my Mr Right!.. :) ..Post your Thoughts on Screen here..

Good Bye SGH.. Hello Chocolates.. [21 Jun 2004|10:38pm] [ mood | cheerful ] [ music | Aku Tak Akan Bersuara ] i was finally discharged from the Heart Centre.. The Doc said there's really nothing serious bout my heart attacks.. But if theres any chance that it occurs again.. then i've to report myself to the centre again.. *Phewww.. Glad that its finally over.. Since the Doc didnt mention anything bout chocolates.. *Yeahh.. im going to eat just that the moment school reopens.. :) Barbie Girl's pretty bout her chocolates... *Yummy Yum Yum ..Post your Thoughts on Screen here..

Overtime...Overtime..Overtime.. [18 Jun 2004|10:06am] [ mood | blank ] [ music | Kesetiaan ] its been such a long time since i saw Baby Boy.. he's busy with work & perhaps too tired to even pick up my calls..haha.. i can see it in his eyes yesterday.. that all he needed was a 24-hour sleep.. its not easy.. working more than half the day.. for almost everyday.. But if i dont see him anytime next week.. i dun think i can see him until next month!.. He's going for his re-service.. while im starting school real soon.. Haiz.. Where does my holiday went to?!... ..Post your Thoughts on Screen here..

Annoying myself part III [17 Jun 2004|10:56am] [ mood | cynical ] [ music | Kesetiaan ] 101) How do you vent your anger?: ~Cry.. & cry.. & cry.. i dont want to hurt others because of my own anger.. & i guess the perfect way is to cry it all out..all by myself.. 102) Have you ever run away?: ~i wish i had.. But how far can i run & hide.. 103) Have you ever been fired from a job?: ~Nope.. in fact..they begged me to stay.. Hmm.. 104) Do you even have a job?: ~Not yet.. Still schooling.. & my mom insist that i finish my school years before starting my career.. 105) Do you day dream alot?: ~ohh yes.. i day dream more than anything..hehe 106) Do you have a lot of exes?: ~hmm..not really..if you consider 4 as many.. :P 107) Do you run your mouth: ~Huh?.. What if it never comes back to me?.. 108) What do you want a tattoo of?: ~hmmm...:p 109) What do you have a tattoo of?: ~n-o-n-e 110) What are your favorite flowers?: ~hehe.. all are flowers to me.. 111) What does your ex bf look like?: ~i have good taste..All are in fact good looking.. but if only their characters are as gorgeous as their deep skin.. *haiz.. 112) What does your most recent crush look like?: ~Like Brad Pitt.. hahaha.. Nah.. i dont have one.. for now.. 113) Have you ever been bitched out?: ~Ohh yes.. they thought i knew nuts bout it.. but i know what they're up to.. Just that iv'e been keeping it low.. 114) When was the last time you bitched someone?: ~i dont realized that.. 115) Are you rude?: ~Only when im pissed off..and it takes great skill to piss me off.. becos im a very patient lady.. 116) What was the last compliment you received?: ~You'll make a great mom & wife.. My aunt said.. After seeing how well i took care of a fren's daughter.. 117) Do you like getting dirty?: ~Dirty2... i likeeee...hahaha 118) Is your bellybutton an innie or outie?: ~Innie.. is there a difference?.. Besides that one's inside & the other's outside?.. 119) Are you flexible?: ~Can say so..i can survive anywhere.. 120) What is your heritage?: ~Malay.. Chinese.. 121) What is your lucky number?: ~i dont have a lucky numbe.. but i love number 14.. 122) What does your hair right now?: ~Shoulder length.. 123) Could you ever be a vegetarian?: ~Ohh please dont make me do that..i'd die of Vegetable syndrome.. haha 124) When was your last real heartbreak?: ~Exactly a year ago... 125) Describe your looks?: ~2 eyes, a nose, a mouth, 2 ears... 126) what color would you dye your hair?: ~Yellow..hoho 127) Would you ever date someone younger than you?: ~They couldnt tell the difference.. many thought i was way yonger than i look....hahaha 128) Would you ever date someone older than you?: ~i am dating an older man... 129) When was the last time you were drunk?: ~Hmmm... 130) When was the last time you went on a date?: ~*haiz.. Please dont ask that.. its been such a looonggg time.. 131) Would you rather give or receive oral sex?: ~hahahaha... Hmm.. id rather give & take?!.. :p 132) Have you ever had an eating disorder?: ~Yes.. i cant seem to swallow vegetables.. 133) Do you have one now?: ~Yea.. till the day i die.. i guess.. 134) How many rings until you answer the phone?: ~lots of times.. Sometimes i didnt pick it up at all..hehe 135) Do you look more like your mother or father?: ~Sadly.. my dad.. haha 136) Do you cry a lot?: ~A lot?.. Not really.. but i'm very sensitive..i feel for others all the time.. 137) Do you ever cry to get your way?: ~*Yucks.. That spells like a b-i-t-c-h to me.. 138) If you had to amputate one limb, what would it be?: ~Cut my hair?!.. haha 139) What phrase do you use most when on the phone?: ~huh?.. hahaha 140) Are you the romantic type?: ~maybe not.. thats why my ex left me.. haha 141) Have you ever been chased by cops?: ~Once.. because i......... 142) What do you like most about your body?: ~Hair.. 143) What do you like least about your body?:~hmmm...you know.. 145) In the opposite sex,do you prefer blondes or brunettes?: ~both.. hahaha 146) What do the shoes you last wore look like?: ~a shoe?!.. 147) Do you ever wear shirts to show your belly?: ~Yes.. hahahaha... 148) What about cleavage?: ~No..my dad would kill me!... 149) Is your best friend a virgin?:~erk.. how the hell would i noe..if he/she is not, then good luck to them. the only thing i'll do is just continue eat my lunch and ignore them. unless they're married of course, then i'll wait for their kids to come 150) What time is it now?:~*Yawns... 1116 ..Post your Thoughts on Screen here..

Annoying myself Part II [17 Jun 2004|10:49am] [ mood | curious ] [ music | i dont want to know.. ] 68) Have you ever been out of the states?: ~haha.. i wish i do.. 69) Do you like to travel?: ~if i got the money..why not..its all bout the money..its all bout the dum dum di di dum dum.. 70) Have you ever been expelled from school?:~No.. Hope i'll never have to go through that.. 71) Have you ever been suspended from school?: ~No..Although i ALMOST got a demerit point back in 1998.. 71) Do you want to get out of your hometown?: ~Yes.. Teban's not my place.. i love my Jurong.. 72) Are you spoiled?: ~n-o-p-e..im one of the few youngsters in the world that is still feeling proud to have parents 73) Are you a brat?: ~no..Only my sister..hahaha 74) Have you ever been dumped?: ~Yes.. Once.. by a man i loved.. Only to know recently.. the reason he wanted to call it off was because he find our relationship's not going anywhere..& his love suddenly became stagnant..But i guess all he wanted was S-E-X.. 75) Have you ever gotten high?:~Hmm.. Because im high.. Because im high..Because im high hmmm...*Cheecky.. 76) What's your favorite drink?: ~Ice Milo.. 77) Do you like Snapple?: ~im loving it.. 78) Do you drink a lot of water?: ~No.. my mum would hunt me down just to drink water.. 79) What toothpaste do you use?: ~Darlie.. 80) Do you have a cell phone or pager?:~ Cell..yea.. 81) Do you have a curfew?: ~Thank God No.. but im always at home.. so it doesnt matter i had it or not.. hoho 82) Who do you look up to?: ~God..& perhaps my Mom.. 83) Are you a role model?: ~Not really..Although some said i am..haha 85) What name brand do you wear the most?: ~Giordano..Just because i used to work there.. 86) what kind of jewelry do you wear?: ~Loads of them.. i love it! 87) What do you have pierced?: ~Ears..Both of them.. 88) What do you want pierced?: ~My nipples?.. hahahahaha... 89) Do you like taking pictures?: ~No.. i dun take at a good angle.. 90) Do you like getting your picture taken?: ~Ohh yes.. i love it..(Except ppl HATE taking MY photos.. :p) 91) Do you have a tan?: ~no.. im born tanned 92) Do you get annoyed easily?: ~nope.. it takes really great skill to do it. but once im annoyed..i'll skin you alive.. Hohoho 93) Have you ever started a rumor?: ~Hmmm.. Perhaps.. Without myself realizing it?!.. 94) Do you have your own phone?: ~Yes.. 95) Do you have your own pool?: ~i wish i had.. 96) Do you have any siblings?: ~Yes.. A 9- year- old- difference- sister.. Who is taller than me.. *haiz.. 97) Do you prefer boxers or briefs?: ~Hmm.. none..:p.. 98) Have you ever been played?:~*Haiz.. perhaps.. but.. i dont want to know.. 99) Have you ever played anyone? ~i hope not.. 100) Do you get along well with your parents?: ~Very.. ..Post your Thoughts on Screen here..

Annoying myself part I [17 Jun 2004|10:07am] [ mood | cheerful ] [ music | Pelik2 ] 1) What time are you starting this? ~1008hr 2) Name?: ~you can just call me hmm.. atot.. 3) Date of birth?: ~16th May 1984 4) Sex?: ~Female 5) Height?: ~Hardly reaches 1.5m.. hehe.. that explains why ppl call me atot huh.. 6) Eye color?: ~Black & white?!.. hmm.. actually its dark brown.. because research has shown that there's no black for eye color..:P 7) Weight?: ~Hmm.. Women should never reveal their real height & weight.. for the matter of fact.. 8) Location?: ~Teban Gardens..(Which is NO garden at all to me!) 9) Where were you born?: ~Singapore.. 10) Have you ever failed a grade?: ~i stayed back during Kindergarten.. (Hey!.. There IS such thing you know!) *Giggles.. 11) If you have, what grade did you fail?: ~No la.. i was just kidding.. 12) Do you have crush on someone?: ~Yes.. aaron Aziz.. its JUST a little crush.. *No offence WIFEY.. He's just C-U-T-E.. 13) Do you have a bf/gf?: ~*POW WOW KA POW... Translation~ i do! :p 14) If so, what is their name? ~THEIR?.. His name's Firdaus.. 15) How long have you been together?: ~Not long yet.. Perhaps a little more than half a year?!.. 16) What are you wearing right now?: ~Polka dots pants & tee.. 17) Would you have sex before marriage?: ~*Gasp.. Perhaps.. hahaha.. (i hadnt had one though..& its true!!!) 18) Have you ever had a crush on any of your teachers?: ~Ohh Hell Yes.. Back in my Secondary years.. He's cute..Especially in his PE attire.. *Hint2 19) Do you smoke?: ~Another VAGUE answer... Yes?..No?..Maybe?.. hehe 20) Do you drink?: ~Hmmm...if i smoke.. i might drink as well.. if not.. perhaps never.. 21) Are you ghetto?: ~What's a ghetto? is it a fish species? 22) Are you a player?: ~No.. 23) What are your favorite colors?: ~Red..Yellow..Blue.. Pink.. 24) What is your favorite animal?: ~Kittens..& chicks..haha 25) Do you have any birthmarks?: ~Yes..On my right arm..it looks like some tooth mark.. hmmm.. Have you heard of a permanent love bite?..:p 26) Have you ever gotten your ass kicked?: ~i got it all the time.. From my neice.. 27) Who are your best friends?: ~Pretty a few.. i mention their names all the time.. 28) Have you ever beat someone up?: ~Hmm.. i wish! 29) Who do you talk to most on the phone?: ~Who else.. 30) Have you ever been slapped?: ~Yes.. By my mother.. i got it all the time.. hahaha 31) Do you get online a lot?: ~ohh yes..like i got nothing better to do.. 32) Are you shy or outgoing?: ~Somewhere in betweem.. 33) Do you shower?: ~No choice.. Singapore's a humid country.. 34) Do you hate school?: ~i love it lots.. 35) Do you have a social life?: ~Dont i? 36) How easily do you trust people?: ~Quite easily & a lot too.. i guess that's my weak point.. Got cheated because i trust them so much..Almost all the time.. *haiz.. 37) Have you ever lied to your bestfriends?: ~Hmm..Sadly..Yes.. 38) Do you have a secret people would be surprised knowing?: ~huh?.. Perhaps.. 39) Would you ever sky dive?: ~No way.. im afraid of heights.. 40) Do you like to dance?: ~When no one's looking.. haha ..Post your Thoughts on Screen here..

This is So cool [16 Jun 2004|12:33am] [ mood | bitchy ] [ music | ~ ] i finally got myself a blogspot.. Thanks to you..FAIZAH.. for all your help.. i wouldnt have such a beautiful one if it wasnt for you.. *Kiss... ..Post your Thoughts on Screen here..

10 Layers.. [15 Jun 2004|09:59am] [ mood | apathetic ] [ music | Fuck it.. i dont want you back ] LAYER ONE: What is your..? -- Name: Tengku Fadhlina Bte Tengku Mohd Safik -- Birth date: Can the question be more interesting besides birthdates?.. No one still give me any prezzie although i wrote here an upteen times when's my birthday!..=P.. 16th May 1984 -- Birthplace: Singapore.. Alexandra Hospital -- Current Location: At Grandmere's place~ Teban Gardens -- Eye Color: Dark Brown -- Hair Color: Originally dark brown.. but after bleaching it.. Guess its more Hazel-ie.. -- Height: Hardly reaches 1.5m.. hahaha -- Right handed or Left handed: Right handed.. although i do practice writing on my left.. it looks like a thrash! hoho --------------------------------------------- LAYER TWO: -- Heritage: im more like my Father.. People even said i look like him.. But i wish i was as beautiful as my mom.. Not that he's not handsome.. But he was wasnt pretty for a girl!.. Hehe.. However, i have a heart just like my mother.. Always feel for others & putting them before me.. i am a very simple girl.. with a complicated character.. Mess with me & you'll regret it for the rest of your lives!.. Hump!.. -- Biggest fear: Losing the ones i love..Although people come & go.. i wish they'd always stay the same! -- Your perfect pizza: Full of cheese.. & chicken slices.. *Yum2... --------------------------------------------- LAYER THREE: Your…? -- Most overused phrase(s): Ellllaaaaaa... *Paging for the spoilt brat! -- Thoughts first waking up: Why didnt Baby Boy at least SMS me before he enters his shift?! *haiz.. -- Best physical feature: i dunno.. But Sue likes my hair..(& i like hers.. Weird huh!) -- Usual bedtime: Only after midnight.. unless i was totally shagged for the day -- Most missed memory: Fun birthday celebrations.. i hardly had one now --------------------------------------------- LAYER FOUR: Preferred?? -- Pepsi or Coke: Vanilla Coke -- McDonald's or Burger King: McDonalds..im loving it -- Single or group dates: Single dates.. it gives us time to express our feelings & talk about it! -- Lipton Iced Tea or Nestea: Lipton! -- Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate for bars.. & Vanilla for ice creams.. -- Cappuccino or Latte: They are all coffee to me.. *Yucks --------------------------------------------- LAYER FIVE: Do you?? -- Smoke: Do i look like a smoker? *tricky2 -- Sing: i love singing.. Just name me the place.. KaraOK lounges..in showers.. in the bus.. in bed.. on stage..in classes..(Although my voice sucks lah).. But who cares?!.. :p -- Take a shower every day: i wish i had a bathtub.. but yea.. i shower EVERY day! -- Have a crush(es): Used to.. but its just a crush which is gone as the clock ticks -- Think you've been in love: Been in love & out of it too.. its all part of life -- Like high school: Sure.. its whole loads of fun.. fun.. fun... -- Want to get married: Yes.. A-S-A-P..haha.. Sure.. i want! -- Believe in yourself: Sure.. -- Get motion sickness: Sometimes.. it depends on how good the driver is.. -- Think you're attractive: Perhaps.. in some ways -- Think you're a health freak: Yes..although i used to eat whatever i want.. -- Get along with your parents: Yes.. especially my mom -- Like thunderstorms: No.. im scared of it -- Play an instrument: Hmm.. No.. --------------------------------------------- LAYER SIX: In the past month, you’ve…? -- Drank alcohol: Hmmm.. No -- Gone on a date: i wish.. Baby Boy's too busy to even call! -- Gone to the mall: Yes.. Although rarely -- Eaten sushi: Yes.. i love it -- Been on stage: Hmm.. i dont think so.. -- Been dumped: Being dumped~ no.. being punk'd~ YES! -- Gone skating: No.. Waste of money.. & besides i didnt know how to! -- Shoplifted: Hahahaha... N-O! -- Changed who you were to fit in: i dont have to do all that.. im me.. & i like the way i am --------------------------------------------- LAYER EIGHT: -- Do you hope to be married: Yes - Numbers and Names of Childrens: 2.. a boy & a girl.. -- Describe your Dream Wedding: We will ride in a yellow Sports Wagon.. Both wearing a yellowish- gold wedding outfit.. Accompanied with a group of hadrahs -- How do you want to die: The holly- est way.. --------------------------------------------- LAYER NINE: In a girl, you would want…? -- Best eye color: pinkish.. had never seen anyone in it..haha -- Best hair color: Original Hazelie.. -- Short or long hair: Long.. and a little wavy.. -- Height: hmm..1.55m -- Weight: lesser than 55kg.. -- Looks: Clean.. -- Best first date location: i dunno.. but watching the sunset would be nice.. --------------------------------------------- LAYER TEN: List the number of: -- People I trust with my life: 1..& thats me.. -- CDs that I own:None.. after the existance of iMesh.. hehe.. -- Piercings:1 pair..on my ears.. -- Tattoos: n-o-n-e.. -- Times my name has appeared in the newspaper?A few times i think.. -- Scars on my body: A few.. Got them during my growing up years.. -- Things in my past that I regret: i don regret wat i ever done in my life. its all part and parcel of lifelong learning ..Post your Thoughts on Screen here..

[14 Jun 2004|10:20pm] [ mood | pensive ] [ music | ~ ] This picture is taken during he came over to my house & watch T Saint doing their project.. hehe.. The first time Faizah & friends saw my Baby Boy.. Hari Raya outing.. :) Under my void deck.. counting hours before his hair would be gone.. Bye hair.. Hello Mr CISCO.. His Botak look.. isnt he look.. hmm.. funny? hehehe Hmm.. actually i kindda miss my Baby Boy a lot.. Now that he's in my mind.. Cant get him off in mine.. hahahaha ..Post your Thoughts on Screen here..

Reading this is optional... [14 Jun 2004|07:39pm] [ mood | crazy ] [ music | The Reason ] if u want to carry on... if not sorrie for irritating u... : YOUR LIFE____ [ ] they name me: Tengku Fadhlina Bte Tengku Mohd Safik [ ] also: atot.. Lin.. buchuk bangak ayah.. [ ] sex: twice a day?!.. hahahaha... Just joking.. :p.. Female(& a pure Virgin too..) [ ] my first breath of air: Didnt i breathe in my mom's womb?.. hmm..Anyhow..its on 16th May 1984 [ ] age: Hate to admit it.. but yea.. im 20! [ ] status: happily attached.. But hmm.. Still available.. hoho.. [ ] occupation: Ngee Ann 3rd Year student [ ] nationality: S-I-N-G-A-P-O-R-R-E3 & what did you get?.... SINGAPORE!.. & what did you get? SINGAPORE!!!!!!! *Pom Pom*.. [ ] best friend[s]: sue.. Faizah..Alicia.. shikin.. & those who think i am one to them.. ____REWIND____ [ ] most memorable memory: There's way too much of it.. Sad ones.. Happy ones.. But the current & most recent one.. would be Nurul's stay with me.. i cried everytime i think of her.. i just felt sad now that she's not here with me to play with.. [ ] first word uttered: m-a-m-a-m ___FAST FORWARD____ [ ] college planning to go: Wont be going..i guess.. & i think my sch years will end at poly..No money to further studies.. [ ] wedding: 3 years down the road.. if God is willing..that is.. [ ] children: 2 of them.. a boy and a girl.. [ ] looking forward to: Meeting Baby Boy.. i hardly see him nowadays.. Now that he's working around the clock!.. [ ] NOT looking forward to: School reopen.. ____PLAY____ [ ] feeling: missing the two most persons that i love.. [ ] Listening: some song on TV..My sis's watching MTV.. [ ] doing: Chatting with my Dear Cousin- Emil.. (i told her bout Shirin's friend who wanted to get fresh with her..*fling Fling*).. haha [ ] craving: Baby Boy's hugs.. hahahaha... Hmm.. i want some LAKSA.. [ ] thinking of: Baby Boy you're always on my mind.. Fulfill my fantasy.. :p [ ] hating: Cockroaches.. be it hissing or not.. ____LOVE?____ [ ] love is: Like a ghost.. Where many talks about..But only a few has seen it.. [ ] best love song: The Reason.. [ ] true or false - all you need is to be loved: True & False.. its true that true love keeps us going.. but its also not wrong that true love makes us unfocused.. [ ] have you ever been in love?: Yes.. Although im still learning the underlying meaning of true love.. [ ] is there such thing as love @ first sight?: Thee is.. Although the first impression is more important than the first sight.. ____THE OPPOSITE SEX____ [ ] turn ons: The smile.. [ ] turn offs: The cheeky ones.. [ ] does your parents' opinion on your bf/gf matter to you?: Sad to say.. Yes.. if they dont like my bf.. im sorry.. i guess he's not the one for me.. but Thank God.. They've no violent objection.. [ ] what kinda hair style?: Different haristyles would be really cool.. for now.. Short and spiky.. with a bit of color.. [ ] the sweetest thing dat the opposite sex can do for you: Just loving me more than yesterday.. & lesser than tomorrow..& being true to me no matter how far we are.. [ ] are you the type of person to holler n ask for numbers? : im afraid not.. ____PICKY PICKY____ [ ] dog or cat: none.. [ ] short or long hair: Short.. Eventhough im having a tough time now to keep it long.. [ ] innie or outie: im more of an innie.. But at the same time.. i do express my feelings.. [ ] sunShine or rain: Rain if im at home & its time to sleep..Nice wheather to cuddle.. [ ] basketball or football: i'd rather watch football.. [ ] righty or lefty: More of righty.. [ ] hugs or kisses: hugs.. although i do enjoy kisses too.. hoho.. [ ] bf or best friend: i dunno.. Give me the situation.. [ ] starbucks or jamba juice: Never heard of Jamba Juice.. but it sounds nice..:) [ ] written letters or e-mails: Written..its more hmm.. original.. [ ] playstation or nintendo: Playstation.. [ ] disney or nickelodeon: Disney.. [ ] car or motorcycle: car.. i HATE motocycles.. [ ] house party or club: Club.. i dun have to wash up & clean around after having fun.. [ ] sing or dance: Sing... Whoo whoo..iyea iyea.. ____MISCELLANEOUS____ [ ] can you swim?: no.. i need a savior.. can i request who?!.. [ ] whats your most embarrassing moment?: Hahaha Hohoho.. i guess those times when i forgot to zip my pants?! [ ] whats your biggest accomplishment?: To pass my O levels & got into poly.. [ ] do you like tomatoes?: No.. it taste..hmm.. funny.. [ ] last doctor visit: a few weeks back.. [ ] last phone call: This afternoon.. ..Post your Thoughts on Screen here..

What Handbag Are You? [14 Jun 2004|04:08pm] You Are A Moschino Heart Bag You're a whimsical, romantic girl with a good does of funky You've are always in the middle of some adventure, planned or not Style is something you mastered early on - and you're envied for it When it comes to you, you're one of a kind ... with many imitators What Kind of Handbag Are You? Take This Quiz :-) Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance. ..Post your Thoughts on Screen here..

Goodbyes are Harder than Hellos.. [14 Jun 2004|02:41pm] [ mood | bored ] [ music | i dont wanna know.. ] Nurul's finally in the hands of her family.. *Haiz.. i missed her already.. During these hours at my home.. She'd probably be drinking her milk away.. before dozing off to her Slumberland.. *Wonder what is she doing right now.. hehe The moment she saw Sufi & her other male cousins, she jumped in joy.. Fighting against her stoned eyes.. She watched them play with her new set of telephone.. :).. Those sweet memories.. will always linger in my mind.. like a film without sound... ..If Tomorrow never Comes.. Sometimes, late at night i lie awake & watch her sleeping.. She's lost in peaceful dreams, so i turn out the light & lay there in the dark .. And the thought crosses my mind, if i never wake up in the morning.. Would she ever doubt the way i feel about her in my heart? If tomorrow never comes, will she know how much i love her? Did i try in every way to show her everyday she's my only one? And if my time on earth was through, she must face the world without me.. Is the love i gave her in the past gonna be enough to last if tomorrow never comes? Coz i've lost love once in my life, who never knew how much i loved them.. Now i lived with no regret & my true feelings for her never were revealed.. So i make a promise to myself, to say each day how much she means to me.. And avoid that circumstances where there's no second chance to tell her how i feel.. Barbie Girl is rather after Baby Girl has 'left' her.. ..Post your Thoughts on Screen here..

Another~ Past..Present..Future... [14 Jun 2004|09:29am] [ mood | cranky ] [ music | Everytime ] It's all about you!!! PAST 1. When were you born: ~16th May 1984 2. Where were you born: ~Alexandra Hospital- Singapore 3. What was your first grade teacher's name: ~How old is first grade?..hmm.. i think its Miss Nurhaliza.. but heard she's not teaching anymore.. 4. What was your first pet's name: ~hmm.. Birdie 1 & Birdie 2?.. hehe.. My pet birds dun have names... 5. What was your worst accident: ~Fell and hit the tip end of a sharp table.. Theres a lot of blood.. & i cant look at blood eversince.. 6. What was your favorite cartoon character: ~Tweety Bird.. 7.Who was your first best friend: ~Suhanah 8. Who was your first girlfriend/boyfriend: ~Fithri Buang.. Back in 1996..hoho 9. What was your first favorite movie? ~The Land Before Time... Sad cartoon.. 10. What used to be your favorite color: ~Pink.. Cant you tell?.. 11. What was your favorite subject: ~i dunno.. i dont like almost all..as long as i can remember.. haha.. 12..did u ever start a food fight? ~My mom would kill me if i did.. so i guess no.. 13. What/who was your worst fear: ~Losing the people i love.. That include my friends.. 14. What was your favorite toy? ~Pretty Face doll.. ----------------------------------------------- PRESENT 15. What time is it: ~0937 16. What's the date: ~14th June 2004 17. What year are you in: ~2004 18. fave movie: ~Artificial intelligence 19. What is your favorite song: ~i dont want to know- Mario 20.Do you have any pets: ~no.. 21. if so wat are their names: ~none.. but i will name it Dora if i have one.. haha 22. fave subj in school: ~Recess.. haha 23. What's your hair color: ~Hazel.. Thanks to the Loreal Hair Dye Product.. 24. What kind of music do you listen to: ~Anything.. and everything.. 25. Do you still watch cartoons: ~Absolutely.. 26. What is your favorite TV show: ~F-R-I-E-N-D-S 27. Do you get online often? ~i love to be online.. but for these few days.. i'm bz la.. 28. What's your worst fear: ~Losing the people i love.. 29. What's your favorite color: ~Pink..Red..Yellow.. Blue.. 30. What city do you live in: ~Pulau Teban jauh ke tengah.. hoho.. 31. Do you have a b/f g/f: ~Yes.. & i love him to bits! 32. favorite type of food: -~Junks..haha.. that explains the ton of fats in me huh.. 33. What do you want to be when you grow up: ~To be a woman?.. haha.. i dunno.. For now.. Maybe a teacher.. 34. Do you want to go to college: ~i am in one.. 35. Do you want to get married: ~like DU-UH.. Hell yea!... 36. If so at what age: ~Bet 24 to 26.. 37. Do you want to have kids: ~Yes.. 2 of them.. 38. What kind of car do you want: ~Sports Wagon.. ----------------------------------------------- FUTURE 1. age do you think you'll live to: ~hmm.. a day before my husband dies.. So i wouldnt have to watch him go without me.. i dont 2.Where do you want to live when you're 35: ~Anywhere.. Just me and my husband.. hehe.. 3. What movie do you want to see next Saturday? ~All.. but then again.. it must be the money.. :p 4. What time do you think you will go to bed: ~3am 5. Do you think you will have the same friend: ~i wish.. Although in reality people come & go.. 6. You think everyone will be jealous of you at your 10th high school reunion: ~Jeouls of what?.. haha 7. Do you want to be president of the U.S.: ~No.. 8. Do you want to walk on the moon: ~i'd rather walk along the beach.. ..Post your Thoughts on Screen here..

Baby Raiser.. Baby- sitter.. Mother..Sister.. Me, myself & i.. [13 Jun 2004|04:27pm] [ mood | amused ] [ music | Meraung.. ] When Fir suggested that i bring Nurul home.. i was pretty excited.. i mean.. why not.. Since i am a childhood educator.. it shouldnt be much of a problem.. & so my job started on Friday.. Over at the Teos'.. Nurul refused to be carried by anyone else except me.. it was OK at first but after half the day entertaining her (it felt like doing a continuos workout..)..My body ached.... The more- than- 5kg toddler sure weighs a heavy mass.. hahaha.. But being the best of her.. it was pretty easy looking after her.. Milking her wasnt tough either.. She sleeps after every bottle.. & while feeding her with porridge, she finishes almost half the bowl without much hassle.. She naps for more than 1 hour.. & sleeps for almost 9 hours.. Which also means.. that would be my only resting durations.. Hmm..See how deprived i am with sleeping..haha She loves eating.. Any food will do.. Even if its just the wrapper.. So to bait her.. My cousins gave her biscuit packets just to gain her attention..Of course, once she got her share.. She wouldnt even bother my cousins..Smart ass!.. haha And so.. my Dear cousins only start their inai- ing job and making the gubahans after Nurul went to bed.. it must be a tough job..because even after 3am.. We were still very busy.. Busy making the gubahans.. & busy catching up with what we've missed thoughout the year.. Emil wanted to have 5 children starting 3 years from now.. i dont know how she will manage giving birth 5 damn times.. but *Gee.. Having lots of children do have the pros too..:) Shirin's boyfriend's staying with her family now.. *Gee..Wondered if they ever get N-A-U-G-H-T-Y2.. hehe.. And did i tell you.. Her boyfriend knows Fir too.. hmm.. Now, what does he has to comment bout Fir.. hehe.. The work of the Mak Andam.. Doesnt Kak Juli look gorgeous after the make ups?.. Hmm.. i wonder how i look like on my wedding day... :) Today.. after four days of staying with me.. Nurul's returning to her Dear family.. Perhaps she misses them just as much they missed her.. i guess.. no matter what.. No one beats our own family members.. :) Barbie Girl is & can sleep for the next month to regain her energy.. hehehe ..Post your Thoughts on Screen here..

25 Qns FoR mE!~ [11 Jun 2004|10:30am] [ mood | calm ] [ music | Dua ] 1. last person u wrote a testimonial: Hmm for Riduan Johari.. or was it?.. hehe 2. sport you would least play: Hmm.. Netball.. 3. last movie u watched: Hmm.. Ohh.. Ven Helshing.. 4. what do people first notice when they see u: Gee.. So short.. :p 5. do you like peanut-butter?: No!.. it taste.. hm.. funny! 6. most memorable place: Sentosa.. The place i once celebrate my birthday.. Those tram rides.. Dip in the sea.. Ooo... 7. do you read comics? i dont even have time reading my notes.. what more comics.. hehe 8. how pretty/handsome are u ? i'd never think im either pretty or handsome.. i think that's my minus point..hmmm.. 9. Do u like earthquakes? What kind of a funny question is this?.. My funny answer would be..hmm.. Yes?! 10. worst nightmare? When i had sex with one of my closest male cousin.. hahahahaha... im serious.. And you just imagined how i blushed when i saw him the next day.. hahahahaha 11. most beautiful place u've visited? Give me a sunset view.. i think thats the most beautiful view ever.. anywhere.. 12. wanna be a celebrity? No.. i like the way i am now.. Invisible and clueless to many..hehe 13. do u like surveys?: yea.. haha 14. your high school best friend: Nur suhanah Md Rusdi.. how many times must i tell you?! 16. your worst physical asset: My.. hmm.. you know.. hahaha 17. most people would describe me as: Crazy.. & stubborn.. 18. one thing u hate about urself: im paranoid.. i think i have Paranoid Syndrome 19. vegetable u hate: All.. 20. u like to go out on a grocery?: Sometimes.. 21. favorite person in the world? Mom.. 22. can you dance? i wish.. but too bad.. no.. 23. favorite past time? *Snoorrreee* 24. are you happy? i wish i am a lot happier.. 25. do you believe in God? yea.. ..Post your Thoughts on Screen here..

My Beautilicious Cousin.. [10 Jun 2004|10:10am] [ mood | jealous ] [ music | Karam.. ] Holiday's getting really boring nowadays.. i didnt have fun even before it started & still hadnt.. *Sigh.. And so i went through everyone's Friendster and checked at their photos.. Pretty interesting pics i find.. i love this pics of my cousins.. Cool couple huh.. Makes me feel so jealous!.. hehe Of course, they didnt look like comics at all.. hahaha.. Dear Cousin.. i still find you look like me!!!.. hehe This one too.. The younger her i supposed.. She's put on really a lot of weight now.. hehe.. Just joking!.. Lastly.. Isnt that sweetz?.. *Haiz.. If only my boyfriend likes taking Lovegetty.. i would have bought one for us.. hehehehe... My Nurse friend.. Syazana She's one of the gorgeous friend i have.. *Ouucchh.. i think my heart hurts now.. hehe And this is my NEW friend~ jaja Well.. We hadnt meet in person.. But perhaps one day.. :) Enough of the female species.. And this is my Favourite male cousin.. Firaidil.. Ohh.. He's got a new girlfriend now.. So that explains why i can hardly see him around now.. i like this picture.. Gave an ancient look.. Taddaa.. Barbie Girl is feeling really really ..Post your Thoughts on Screen here..

And so we went to SGH again today.. [09 Jun 2004|06:54pm] [ mood | frustrated ] [ music | Mimpi yang Tak Sudah ] When Mom begged me to tag along to the hospital..i was truly reluctant.. not that i didnt want to accompany my Grandmere.. i just got no mood to go out today.. & its been raining too.. Nice weather to cuddle.. hehe.. *Plus.. Baby Boy suggested that we meet up before he's gone for work.. i hadnt seen him for such a long time.. & *Gee.. i missed him terribly.. But too bad.. i know Grandmere's check up eat up hours of our time.. Hmm.. it's hard to be a fillial grandaughter.. Haizzz.. And so mom & i hailed a taxi down to the hospital.. The best thing about going out with Grandmere would be.. We'd always be riding in the taxi instead of taking the slow and crowded ride in the bus or MRT.. By SIX.. Everything's done.. & that includes dinner.. We paid the bills.. and then wheeled our way home.. Barbie Girl is feeling rather .. Haiz.. ..Post your Thoughts on Screen here..

And So the Scan shows.. [08 Jun 2004|11:42pm] [ mood | sore ] [ music | Dua ] Now.. thats how they scan for babies.. the only difference.. they scanned my heart.. The nurse finally captured my fast- racing heartbeat on the echo doppler.. i dunno.. One part of me was glad that at least they know i wasnt lying bout the pain i've been experiencing.. But the rest of me was actually very terrified.. What is wrong with me?.. The Indian Doctor said i had an interesting results..(With the ups and downs.. he find it interesting.. & i find him.. hmm.. c-r-a-z-y..).. But the female nurse thought the results cant be right..because i was too young to have such heart failure.. But anyhow, can the machine punk'd on me? The whole process took me more than an hour.. i must have dozed off for a while.. it was really tiring.. Imagine me being positioned like that throughout the whole process.. :p *Sigh.. i dunno.. i just felt totally down.. & dont think anyone understand how i feel deep inside.. i wish i could let it out.. but all i have is.. teddy.. my Hero.. Barbie Girl is feeling really .. Extraordinarily down.. Haiz ..Post your Thoughts on Screen here..

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