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Tests/ Surveys [28 Feb 2004|07:50pm] [ mood | uncomfortable ] Basics Name: Amanda Michelle Birthplace:Greenville SC Birthdate: 1/2/88 Current City of Residence: Greenville Family Members: My mom, dad and my doggie Favorites Color: Purple Beverage: Alcoholic: Taquilla Non: NuGrape Movie: The Crow, Alice in Wonderland, Dumbo, X-Men Musical: Cats Board Game: Sorry Computer Game: Sims Game to Roleplay: X-men Animal: wolf Sport: wrestling Book: Memoirs of a Geisha, Deenie, Midnight In the Garden of Good and Evil A Day In The Life School: Hate it. Actually, I just hate the Drama. Typical Mood: Chipperish….sometimes crabby Usually Found: On the computer Collects: Jewelry boxes, 100x100 icons Have You Ever Been kissed: lots Done drugs: yeah Eaten an entire box of Oreos: gross, too much chocolate Eaten sushi: Yeah, it was ok, kinda dry Been on stage: Yeah, I use to do some acting and “professional” singing Been in a car accident: No This or That Cold or Hot: Hot Blue or Red: Red Rain or Snow: Rain Wool or Cotton: Cotton Private or Public School: Public Chocolate or Plain Milk: Plain Celsius or Farenheit: Celsius Spring or Fall: Fall Science or History: History Math or English: English "Love Life" Do you like somebody: Yes Do they know: Yes Do you want them: Yes Are they hot: Yes Random Who do you e-mail the most: Nobody Who do you IM the most: Tory or Stephen Who are you talking to now: Myself Is this survey lame: Not really Isn't bzoink! nifty: =)What the Fuck In 24 hours have you Showered: Yes Had a serious talk: Yes Hugged someone: Yes Gotten along with your parents: ugh…I guess Fought with a friend: yeah Done something kind for someone: Not that I know of Do You Like To Give hugs: Yup Give back rubs: Yes Take walks in the rain: More like running, cutting cartwheels doing crazy shit…or kissing…I love kissing in rain Cook: Microwave count? Eat: Yup Sleep: Yeah, just got up Who: Knows you the best: Tory I guess Have you known the longest: Jessicat Do you know the most about: Tory Do you consider your friend: Michael, Tricia, Tory, Jessicat, Megan Is most likely to end up in jail: Michael Can you go to with your problems: Tricia Do you want to get to know better: Jessicat Do you spend the most time with: Michael Have You Been to a concert: Yes Loved someone so much it made you cry: Yes Cheated on a test: MANY MANY TIMES Ever stalked someone: TEE HEE>>>> STEPHEN Done something you regret: I do a lot of things I regret. I mostly say things I regret Been in an online relationship: No…unless you count whats up with me and Tory…eehh.. It’s kinda online but we’ve known eachother so long I don’t count it as that… at all Random Questions Single or Hooked: Hooked What is your worst habit: Biting my bottom lip, cussing a bit, cutting, SI Scariest moment: I was like 12, and was at RockSlide… A place in the mountains where the river flows down this slick rock and people slide down it (Hence… RockSlide) and when I went down, the person who was suppose to catch me let me go and I kept sliding and sliding and I almost died. Do you swear too much: At times my pure white trash shows though…so..yeah How do you feel about homosexuality: whatever floats your boat…who am I to judge Where are you right now: Skydiving…on the computer duh Are you sitting by anyone: Yeah, my imaginary friend Gomer What song are you listening to: Gomer is singing “Twinkle Twinkle Little Slut” What is the last thing you said: Where are you going? What's on your mousepad: dolphins… What are the last four digits of your phone number: 2515 What was the last thing you ate: Smore Pop Tarts If you were a crayon, what color would you be: Macaroni and Cheese…. It just sounds cool How many buddies do you have on your list: Errr, None at the moment What's the weather like right now: snowing What do you feel like doing: Going to St. Louis, finding Tory and making mad passionate love with him What is your favorite quote: The Extreme Always Gets You Notice- Jeff Hardy + name. Amanda + birthday. Jan 2. + nicknames. Animal, Michelle, Mandy + location. South Carolina + what are you doing right now? Looking for icons + what are you wearing? Jeans, A blue and white top, boring white thong and white bra, pair of socks + do you like your neighbors? Ehh + whats your magic number. 27 + do you smoke drink or do drugs.? I use to have a problem with certain substances what c0mes t0 mind when y0u hear these names.. + blair. Witch project + shannon. moore + thomas. punany + scott. Scottie 2 hottie + lawrence. Geeks + aaron. carter + heather. Bitch + chris. templeton + mallory brookshire + chaquita. banana fav0rites + color. Purple and pink + friend. Tory, Michael, Megan, Jessica, Tricia + car. Mustang GT convertible, black with pink flames + food. Lobster or Steak + drink Alcoholic: Margarita Non: NuGrape + store. Hot Topic, Wal Mart + outfit. Black jeans, Mario Shirt, my silver shoes, cute pair of socks, nice thong and a wrist band + song. Tourniquet Evanesence or Let Her Cry Hootie and the Blowfish + singer. Amy Lee + movie. The Crow, X-Men, Alice in Wonderland + pair of socks. Kiss My Feet + saying. Shit happens + animal Wolf when was the last time y0u.. + showered.. This morning + kissed some one.. 2 weeks ago + went to a movie.. When Big Daddy was in theaters + cried. Wednesday + talked on the phone.. Last night + paged someone. Never + lied. Yesterday probibly + cheated on someone. Errr, No comment + ate nerds. Cant remember…not a big fan of nerds + drank welchs grape juice. never + watched the country channel. This morning… + shaved ANY part of you body and what part. Yesterday, legs, arm pits, punany rand0m + are you a virgin. no + what did you do on Halloween When trick or treating and hooked up with Carl blah + whats your favorite Scary movie. …The Crow? + do you belive in magic. Yes + whats your favorite magazine. WWE, Playboy + whats your middle name. Michelle + favorite Disney character. Alice + what brand of deodorant do you use. Errr, I change often + do you like Pickles. Yeah + do you have a website. Just my blurty + do you have your own phone line. no + your thoughts on abortion. It’s really helpful in some situations. I’m up for it. However, I will never put a child up for adoption + do you like brittney spears. I’d do her + What do you want for christmas. Tee hee..bad thoughts + what do you want to do with your life. Be a pro-wrestler + would you ever get plastic surgery if so on what Yeah, boobs, hips, nose, mouth, eyebrows… if you can make yourself look better, damn, go for it. + last time you went to the bowling alley. Forever ago. + what perfume/cologne do you wear. Jlo, Clinique Happy, Clavin Kline Truth, + do you like jell-o if so what flavor. Err, as a play toy yeah..but not really to eat. + brand of toothpaste. Crest… I think + last time you went to the doctor. Optometrist a month and a half ago + do you have a credit card: Nah + do you love your mom. Of coursle + do you love your mom as much as norman bates did in PSYCHO. LOL, errr, yeah but I wouldn’t be that forceful about it + ever taken ballet. Not at all + favoite juice. Vaginal…err… I mean apple + most attracitve person. Johnny Depp + any diseases if so what are they. Scoliosis, Anemia. + last book you read...was it good. Lita’s biography… amazing if you like her + white, dark, or milk choclate. White + ever died your hair. Yeah, it’s died now… auburn + What brand shampoo. Suave Strawberrys + thing you hate most about your body. boobs + last time you smoked. Last week + last thing you bought. Tee-shirt m0re rand0m.. + are you stressd out...if so from what. Yeah, a combination of a lot of shit + what do you wear to the beach. A bathing suit + do you belive in angels. yes. + would you ever join the army. Marines + do you want a puppy. I have my puppy…aww he’s so sweet. + Favorite icing. Chocolate, I eat it straight out of the carton. + last time you were scared. Not sure + by what?. I dunno + last party you went to. My 16th + what detergent do you use. Gain + what fabric softner do you use. UHHH + are your nails real or fake. At the moment real. + do you work out. Yeah + are u muscular. I’m working on getting my muscles back up + do you take a lot of pictures. Of myself?? Huh..what + favorite tv show. WWE RAW, Charmed + do you want a baby. Yeah, It would be great. + ever thought u were pregnent. No + last time you were sick. Can’t remember + butter or margerine. Whatever + your feelings on mcdonald chicken nuggets. Made with new white meat + do you belilve in santa claus. Lol, yeah + do you go to a tanning bed. I own my own. + do you have a car. No + do you have your licence? Nope. + how do you get around. parentals or friends. + are you dissatisfied with your hair color. No, I love it. + what kind of jewlry do you wear. Lots of rings, Michaels necklace (at the moment) 2 toe rings, earrings + do you have a cellie.. no + favorite kind of gum.. I don’t care… no spearmint or big red + would you ever get a tatoo. Yeah, I’m getting one the day I turn 18 even m0re rand0m.. + do u like coffee...what kind...what in it: Yeah, really really sweet + favorite lip gloss.. who cares + do you wear a watch.. no + sunglasses.. no + ever use nair....if so where?. Yeah, legs once + ever been to the mall of america. no + are you online a lot.. YEAH m0re. + number of times I have been in love. Ehhh, no comment. +number of times I have had my heart broken. No comment + number of hearts I have broken. Not sure + number of boys I have kissed. More than I can count on my fingers and toes + number of girls I have kissed. About 7 or 8 + number of men I've slept wit. 1 + number of continents I have lived in. 1. + number of drugs taken illegally. Who knows… who remembers + number of people I would classify as true, could trust with my life type friends. one + number of people I consider my enemies. I have no enemies… + number of people from high school that I stayed in contact with. i'm in high school. + number of cd's that I own. About 26. + number of piercings. 2. + number of tattoos. 0. + number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper. 3 or 4. + number of scars on my body. Lots and Lots + number of things in my past that I regret. I regret a lot People are locked inside you and hung from a high place. A chain around their neck forces them to stand, and once they are dead from starvation or the elements, birds pick their bones clean. You're probably a fan of just ignoring the people who get on your nerves. Or at least, ignoring them to the best of your abilities. What torture would you be? 1 comment|post comment

I'm in love...and such a pussy about it [27 Feb 2004|07:56pm] [ mood | flirty ] I've had so much go in these past few days... sorry for not updateing. I actually feel like a normal human bean now. Not some schizo fruit loop like I've felt most recently. I've got a boyfriend now, which is a great update from how I was doing last week. *Grins* Tory... ha ha ha. My lovely ex who I'm still very much crazy about. Yeah, no shit, I know I haven't talked about him... but... I haven't talked to him lately. Then, all of a sudden things worked out for the two of us. Actually, he's the best boyfriend I've ever had, which I can say is a good thing. Obviously redundant. I've known him for like 8 years now. All though elementary school and middle school. Then, before 9th grade he left and went to St. Louis to live. *Damn him for it, I can't stand him not being here* Anyway, I can't even describe how our relationship is. It's seriously a very differnet type of relationship than most teenager experience. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that we've known eachother for so long, we know eachother in and out. We've dated off an on for a year and a half. I really ***ooh, i"m really dizzy all a sudden*** Damn, I lost my train of thought. I've never really loved anyone the way I love him. It's a very confusing feeling. I've never trusted anyone as much as I trust him either. And for him to be out of my sight all the time, it's amazing how much I trust him. I go though these time periods with him where all I can do is be happy, and then whenever he goes back off to school, I start to have too much free time and start thinking about all the things that are wrong with this relationship. But for the majority...He's perfect for me... The greatest thing since sliced bread. Anyway...I'll keep you all updated on how much of a cheese for brains girlie girl I act from here on out. XXCROSSES FINGERSXX post comment

[22 Feb 2004|07:25pm] [ mood | thankful ] I'm questioning whether or not to shave my head? BALD IS GOOD! I love you all a lot. All of you that actually stand by me when I need you. I've gone though a lot these past few weeks. Mentally I've been a wreck. Physically I haven't been much better. Emotionally, well...let's not go there. I'm not really sure what's been wrong with me, or why I've been acting so strange. Why I've done my best to intentionally hurt you all. But, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I've put you all though so much pain. I'm sorry I haven't been myself. I love you all very much, more than life it's self! I regret ever attempting to hurt you all. Ever hurting myself! I just wish you guys would understand me and realize that I've been hurting lately. More than you can imagine! And, I've tried to keep in under control. But I think this past week has been the worst for me, and I know you've noticed. I'm sorry, I truly am! And I love you all. post comment

[22 Feb 2004|01:22pm] Life really is getting on my nerves. I hate being served this hellish portrayl of life. Maybe I should just try to be someone else. Obviously I'm not happy with who I am now! No, I'm not going to be somebody else, that's wrong! Maybe I'll just start being who I really am, instead of who I"m trying to be for the people around me! I'm loosing it, seriously! post comment

NOT A WHOLE LOT OF SHIT GOIN ON [19 Feb 2004|08:00pm] DO YOU EVER GET THE FEELING YOU'RE BEING WATCHED? EVER WONDER EXACTLY WHAT KIND OF CONSPIRACIES ARE REALLY OUT THERE. WHAT THE GOVERNMENT IS REALLY TRYING TO COVER UP? OK, BUT SERIOUSLY, I'M JUST SO FREAKIN TIRED OF HAVING TO KISS MY PARENTS ASS A LOT! BUT I GUESS I HAVE NO CHOICE! IF I DON'T I'M SCREWED! I'M JUST LOOKING FORWARD FOR NEXT WEEK TO BE OVER WITH. I SERIOUSLY HATE MYSELF FOR PIECING MY FUCKING EAR! GOD SAVE ME! ANYWAY YOU ALL PEACE post comment

SOME MORE QUIZZES *YEAH* [17 Feb 2004|08:55pm] [ mood | optimistic ] Peaceful Angel Please rate this quiz I worked really hard on the pics and everything thanks and I hope that you have had fun NEW!! Which Angel are you?(pics for anyone/14 outcomes!!) brought to you by Quizilla Ghost or spirit: You are a lost soul. Very calm and sweet, you are often the one who asks: What if? With a clever mind, you want to explore the world on a different level. Without the answers, you aren't ready to move on. You are most likely very creative and find yourself thinking things through on a different level. (please rate my quiz) **Where will you go when you die?**(now with pics) brought to you by Quizilla Your Kagome! you like to hang out with your friends and are always the first person to volunteer to show a new student around, you are kind and giving and enjoy having a occasional sleep-over with the girls! What Inuyasha Character are you? brought to you by Quizilla ~~~~~~~~WELL THAT ONE WAS JUST GAY~~~~~~~~ You are the Figher Femme Which Ultimate Beautiful Woman are You? brought to you by Quizilla post comment

feeling so much more better [17 Feb 2004|08:18pm] [ mood | jubilant ] [ music | Train Drops of Jupiter ] I'm actually starting to feel better now! Life is starting to calm down, my emotions are starting to calm down. I dont know why my last few posts have been so... pissy and what not! I've just not been feeling myself lately. Now, I'm actually happy and not going to kill anyone. *cough. Michael. cough cough* My friends and I are starting to get to tolerate one another again. Michael and me are well... whatever we are! (tomorrow will be 2 weeks... for all those who are actually in the loop!) I'm starting to let myself be more open and honest with him. Let my emotions actually flow. So what if I get hurt, it wouldn't be the first time, and i seriously doubt it will be the last time! (I know, I keep getting on this topic, but it's seriously driving me crazy!) I'm starting to think that we may be ok. I may be ok with him! I'm trusting him, which is a plus. I never thought I would get to start to trust him. I always thought he would get tired of my bull shit emotions and leave me high and dry without giving me a chance! Surprisingly, he hasn't. And I really look up to him for that! Anyway, I need to talk about something different! My mom is starting to think I worship the devil or something! *shrugs shoulders* Last time I checked I was a really strong christian... I guess I dont know myself as well as I thought I did! Anyway, she's starting to get on my nerves. I love here dearly, she's my mom. But she cant figure out when to back off. I'm a teenager, I need my fucking space. And if I get a bit moody, so what. I'm not turning into a criminal or turning from the family. I'm just moody and I'm going though some shit I can't talk about with her! Parent's are on my nerves! So, since I'm feeling better, I'm able to put up with everyones bull shit now! Just, don't piss me off, i'm still not very stable and I'm actually capeable of cracking at any moment. But, at least I have a hand on myself now....no not like that you perves...well....maybe like that! Anyway, sorry you guys I've been giving you all the wrong e-mail addy for me! I'm kind of a ditz! (As if we all didn't know that!) Anyway, when I picked out my S/N I had to spell it a different way... Anyway, to hook yall up, here yah go. For the last time, and this one, for once, is correct. extremely_michelle@yahoo.com post comment

those 4 little letters [16 Feb 2004|04:38pm] [ mood | cranky ] I just got off the phone with Michael. And, we were talking about when is it ok to say I love you? That's a really good question! No, I don't love Michael like that, like, he's the number one love of my life. True, I care deeply for him, but, no I don't love him! And, I wonder, when is it safe for me to allow myself to open up and say that I love him? Is it safe at all? Is it safe to have a relationship with him like this? And even if I did love him, I wouldn't feel right telling him I did without knowing he loved me back. I would hate to admit it and put all my feeling forward and not get anything in return. That would cause me to go though another mental breakdown! I'm not very stable at the moment! But, when can I tell him I love him? How do I allow myself to fall in love with him? Is it right for me to love him without him loving me back? Unrequitedly! And it's not just him, it's every guy I've ever been involved with. I've either opened up my mouth too soon or waited too long and not told him. They both ended in chaos! Maybe I'm not ment to feel love, maybe that's a warning sign against it. Or maybe the guys were just jerk-offs! I'm starting to think I should give up on falling for him (or anyone) or having ANY sort of feelings. Maybe staying friends, it's just the best way to handle things. I can be just as close with any friend, as I can with any boyfriend! I've already proven that! With Andy and now I'm starting to prove it with Michael! post comment

Crazy about him [13 Feb 2004|07:12pm] [ mood | aggravated ] [ music | Mariah Carey My All ] I'm seriously thinking I need to take a breath from this Michael guy. I promised myself a few months ago before I ever met him that I would never fall for another guy. That dateing in high school was so pointless. Now I have no idea what I'm thinking! I'm fighting with myself. I'm now allowing myself to fall for him like I did with Andy, however, it's killing me so bad because I want to have a chance to be some sort of happy with this guy?! Yeah, I know, typical high school drama. It's seriously fucked up! However, it's not like I can really help the fact I'm feeling this way! I want to just take a knife to my skin and cut the pain out! That would be so great. However, I have to be a good girl! But it's causing me so much pain to fight with myself like this. It's causing me so much pain to not be with him, but I know I'll go though so much pain when I'm with him! I'm in a loosing situation that is seriously causing me to go insaine! *slams head on table* This is so fucked up. I hate acting like a fucking pussy! This is so typical of me though. And the sad thing is, I actually despise people that act like this! Now I'm turning into a fucking hypocrite! I just want to either move forward or stop the fucking trip, cause that's what it is, a trip! It's turning into the both of us nearly driving the other insaine for one reason or another. I'm actually starting to hate our relationship! But I'm so crazy about him! HAPPY SINGLE AWARENESS DAY TO ME TOO! FUCK VALENTINES post comment

[12 Feb 2004|09:17pm] I'm getting really tired of dealing with all this bull shit from my friends! I love them to death, but two in particular are starting to fuck with my head. I'm just tired of dealing with the drama. Plus, my controlling parents are getting on my last nerve! It's fucking hillarious, I got a friend to pierce my ear the other day and they flipped! Not because of the damn peircing, but becuse it wasn't "professional"! What the fuck is that bull shit? The really off thing is that they are going to take me in a few weeks to get it done for real! That's so damn annoying! I went thought a whole hell of a lot of pain to get that fuckin hole in my ear, and I had to go though even more to get the damn ring out of it! What the hell ever, I'm gonna get to have it redone soon. Anyway, I lost my train of thought! Ever have those friends who, no matter what you do to please them they just want to say "fuck you" and walk away as if you did something wrong?! And blame it all on you? That is so wrong! I guess I'm just tired of the drama! I'm actually thinking about going back to my psychiatrist! When I was seeing her life was better, then I haven't seen her since last year and now my life is starting to get fucked again and I can't deal with the pressure! post comment

[12 Feb 2004|08:19pm] "Tourniquet" i tried to kill the pain but only brought more i lay dying and i'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal i'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming am i too lost to be saved am i too lost? my God my tourniquet return to me salvation my God my tourniquet return to me salvation do you remember me lost for so long will you be on the other side or will you forget me i'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming am i too lost to be saved am i too lost? my God my tourniquet return to me salvation my God my tourniquet return to me salvation i want to die!!! my God my tourniquet return to me salvation my God my tourniquet return to me salvation my wounds cry for the grave my soul cries for deliverance will i be denied Christ tourniquet my suicide post comment

LOTA QUIZZES [09 Feb 2004|08:21pm] [ mood | bored ] I Am Which tarot card are you? You Are An Intense Kisser! Deep tounging, nibbling, and locking lips for hours are on your agenda. You've been known to wear lovers out with your kiss, before getting to anything else on the menu. And given that you kiss so well... imagine how you do everything else. What Your Kissing Style Says About You: When you want something you go for it, and you don't let go until it's yours. And when you feel, you feel intensely (surprised?). You have a dramatic streak, no doubt. If you're in a relationship, you don't take anything lightly. And neither should your lover. Your Personal Kissing Matches and Mismatches: Hook up with other Intense Kissers to have the experience of a life time. You'll both feel incredible things, both in your heart and down there! If you are looking for an even more sexual fun, find the nearest Carnal Kisser. You'll get kissed down there just right. Stay away from Manic Kissers at all costs. They spread it around a little too much to give you the passion you crave. And forget about Juicy Kissers as well - they seem a bit too superficial for you. How Do *You* Kiss? More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva You Are a Passionate Kiss! When you kiss, the world either stops or spins At least for the minute that your lips are locked No question about it, you tend to get carried away It's no wonder your kissing often leads to other things :-) What Type of Kiss Are You? More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva You are Suspension Cuffs! You're so deep into bdsm that handcuffs are kiddie play for you Not to say that handcuffs can't be fun... au contraire! You just need a little something extra to spice handcuffs up. Which is why suspension cuffs are perfect for you Get whipped or flogged in these babies, and you're sado self will be quite satsified! What Kind of Handcuffs Are You? More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva What Drink Are You? You are Magic Mushrooms! You don't mind taking a little mind trip - even if it leaves you with a ripped up stomach. You're keen on sitting back and checking out the visuals. Or talking with your cat. And you're up for the orgasmic powers of shrooms, as soon as your lover stops looking like an alien. What Drug Are You? More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva You Should Get a Japanese Inspired Tattoo! Kanji, anime, manga - whatever. You're geeky, high tech, slightly obsessive… Yet cool enough to ink up! What Tattoo Should You Get? More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva You Are a Moderate Madame! You've heard of occasional vegetarians, who mainly prefer vegetables, but just can't resist their needs for meat once in a while. That's how kinky sex is for you. No one would dare classify you as prude. You've done your share of experimentation, and you've found some things you like. Are *You* Kinky? Click Here to Find Out! More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva post comment

[09 Feb 2004|12:02pm] [ mood | angry ] Friends don't let friends do stupid shit! My bf is so fucking me over right now! I was only trying to help me. See, she's into this guy who's really not right for her and all I did was state my point! Right! Well, she flipped out and told me to stop ruining her life! I love her so fuckin much, but I'm just tired of not being appreciated. I was only trying to help, and offer my point of view. I wasn't tellin her what to do! I'm just tired of it,,, I need an escape plan! GET ME OUT OF HELL! I feel like someone just handed me a "Go Directly To Jail Card" I hate life! post comment

[07 Feb 2004|08:13pm] [ mood | moody ] [ music | Linkin Park High Voltage ] So many tears, so few ways to express myself. At the moment, I'm just blogging around. I feel all locked up inside like I can't get my thoughts out. It's seriously suckie! So, here's a good topic... How are you suppose to express yourself when it feels like noone is willing to listen? It gets really frustrating when you have something really important you want to say, but it seems like nobody cares. Am I right? When you hold your thoughts and feelings it, they tend to build up and eventually you end up self imploding! Whey you get your expressions locked inside, how do you get them out? I mean, like, art and poetry helps at times! But, it's only a temporary fix (wow, that brought me back to my drug days for some reason!). I really hate this feeling! Can it be fixed? And, how do you make people listen to you without seeming of feeling rude? I hate being forward, really I do! But at times, I just want to stand up and say "Would someone please at least waiste a moment of their fucking time to pay attention to me!" And then I realize, "wow, that's kinda mean!" Maybe if the world would be a little more forward, maybe we could get something done! Then again, there may end up being more people with hurt feelings going around killing people and commiting fucked up acts of violence! But then again, people that keep all their emotions inside, they usually end up commiting fucked up acts of violence as well. How do we handle this? Is it handleable? Or is it just pointless to care? Feelings should be expressed, however, most of the world, dosen't care to listen. I guess it has something to do with their selfishness. There is a lot of selfishness in this world! I dont know, I guess there can be no happy medium on this subject. I guess, at least for now, we'll have to live and wonder... post comment

[06 Feb 2004|07:06pm] [ mood | cranky ] [ music | WWE RAW Theme ] I'm never quite sure where I go next after a big event in my life. Now, I'm really stuck. I question my sensibility and my ability it handle tragic or difficult event. I always thought I was good at moving on with my life after something happened. And, honestly, I'm moving forward fairly well, not thinking about it and all! But, I guess I'm scared of what's next, I'm scared of change! Maybe! But, maybe things won't change. Maybe things will just stay like they are. Maybe! post comment

Stolen From TragicXLove's Journal [01 Feb 2004|07:32pm] [ mood | chipper ] [ music | Debra Cox How Did You Get Here Mix ] 1) Single or taken: single 2) Sex: Femals 3) Birthday: Jan 2 4) What is your sign: Capricorn or Leo (ask and I'll explain) 5) Siblings: Brother 6) Hair color: Brown, with blonde ness 7) Eye color: green 8) Shoe Size/Height: 8/ 5'6" *~RELATIONSHIPS~* 1) Who are your best friends: Punany Chicks & Michael 2) Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend: I'm questioning the same thing 3) if yes, what is their name: 4) Are you goin to send this to them?: 5) Did your crush/boyfriend/girlfriend send this to you?: No *~FASHION STUFF~* 1) Where is your favorite place to shop: Hot Topic Wal*Mart 2) Any tattoos or piercings: Ears and about to get one shhh, its a secret 3) Do you do drugs: Depends... long story 4) What kind of shampoo do you use: Strawberry flav Johson&Johnson 5) What are you most scared of: Men and Guns 6) What are you listening to right now: Linkin Park Paper Cut 7) What car do you wish to have: 98' Mustang GT Pink with Black and Purple flames, with a she-devil or the trunk 8) Who is the last person that called you: Sydney 9) Where do you want to get married: I dont want to get married...ever!!!!! 10) How many messenger buddies do you have on right now: 5 *~FAVORITES~* 1) Color: pink and purple 2) Boys name: Vegas 3) Girls name: Kalista 4) Subjects in school: Art, English Lit, World History 5) Animals: Men 6) Sport:Wrestling 7) Song right now: Goo Goo Dolls Broadway and Iris *~HAVE U EVER~* 1) Given any one a bath: Yeah, my exbest's sister 2) Bungee jumped: ERGH, I wish 3) Broken the law: Many Many times 4) Made yourself throw up: Yeah, but not for any reason other than I felt sick 5) Gone skinny dipping: Lots 6) Ever been in love: Leaving it Blank 7) Made yourself cry to get out of trouble: Yeah 8) Played Strip Poker: Lol, Michael!! Yeah I have *~WHAT DO YOU THINK OF~* 1) Red: blood, sex, tomatoes 2) Moo: cluck cluck??? 3) Socks: static 4) Lemons: Tangy, Oranges, Test I took earlier 5) Volkswagon: Hippies *~FINAL QUESTIONS~* 1) Do you like filling these out: God Yeah 2) How many people are you sending this to: no one..journal..duhhh 3) Who will send it back: Maybe God...Maybe 4) Gold or Silver: Silver 5) What is the last film you saw at the cinema:Dady Daycare 6) Favorite cartoon character: Yo Samity Sam 7) Favorite word(s): MMM, But Punany, & So 8) What do you have for breackfast in the morning: Depends on the morning ON GUYS FOR GIRLS TO FILL OUT (for girls only) Boxers or Briefs: boxers Long or short hair: long Tall or short: short Six pack or built arms: Both...And handcuffs Good or Bad Guy: Both a good and different times of my life Hat or no hat: Jimmy Hat? What...? Yeah Pierced or not: nipples..yeah Dimples: IDK... yes and know Neatly shaved or stubble: stubble...sometimes shaved CAN I BE PIMPED? Name: Amanda K. or Michelle Age: 16 Email/ Screen Name : extremely_michelle@yahoo.com Are you a virgin? : No Would you have sex with Shaun?: Sure...who's shaun? What makes you unique in bed?: I'm usually in it...that unique! What sexual fantasy do you have when you hear the name "Shaun"(details)?: Do you enjoy pain?: Giggles, yup *pinches self* ooh yeah baby, give me more Are you into bondage?: Yup duct tape!! Is whipped cream on your list of favorite foods?: nope, but popcorn is...(Thanks to Kari!) What is your favorite sexual postion ( list all if there are many.)?: I'm Kinky, surprise me! I like em all Do you own a vibrator?: yes, 2. Do you understand that when Shaun is done with you nothing will compare?: mmm, except maybe Michael Would you like to be shit on during sex?: Nope, not really my cup of tee What tickle's your fancy?: Mmm, tickleing yours! Do you have obsessive compulsive disorder?: Not really If so... what ticks you off the most so shaun can do that constantly?: Not eat my punany then ask for head Do you take it in the butt?: Err um... catch me on a good day and we'll see Most Importantly...Why should shaun choose YOU?: I'm a pretty princess LOL GUYS, THIS IS JUST SOME FUN SHIT, DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY! LOVE YOU ALL...ESPECIALLY YOU...YES YOU! NO NOT YOU, YOU...YEAH...HEY SEXY BABY,,, CALL ME SOMETIME...OH...OH REALLY...YEAH IT'S NEW! YEAH, YEAH, SO YOU LIKE MY NICE BOOBIES TOO HUH? NICE, YEAH....OH..YOU WANT ME TO WHAT?? WHAT WHAT?? FUCK NO MAN, YOU'RE TOTALLY FUCKED UP! BYE! *LOGGED OFF* 7:32 PM* post comment

[31 Jan 2004|03:48pm] [ mood | distressed ] This is not good! Not good at all. Falling for someone that is not even on my to do list! (Not that I have a "To Do List" but if I did, he wouldn't be on it) I can't believe I'm getting feelings for him AGAIN! This is so not good!I had a thing for him like, 3 years ago. Now, he's living in GA about to move to VA! Plus, he's 20! *slams head on desk* I guess, the one man I've truely ever been in love with...maybe love is once in a life time, and can't be switched on and off! But it's not fair, I'm finally to a point where I may actually get to have some sort of relationship with him, and he's not even living in SC! Plus, I'm falling for someone else! Shit, ok, I'll just have to get over him! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO DAMN IT! I went though hell to get myself to stop likeing him! This can not be happening! post comment

LARUEN'S LJ [30 Jan 2004|06:36pm] [ mood | amused ] TEE HEE, I JUST GOT THE LINK TO LAUREN C'S LIVEJOURNAL (DAMN LIVEJOURNAL USERS BLURTY IS THE KING!!!!!) ANYONE INTERESTED.......? http://www.livejournal.com/users/hybridslinky187/ post comment

THE ONE THINGS THAT'S TRUELY BOTHERING ME [30 Jan 2004|06:17pm] [ mood | thoughtful ] SOMETIMES I STOP AND WONDER WHY I'M ALWAYS SO DAMN BUSY, ONLY TO NOT BE BUSY AT ALL? ALL THE SHIT I DO IS FOR "THE FUTURE" WHAT IF I DON'T LIVE UNTIL THE FUTURE AND EVERYTHING I'VE DONE HAS BEEN FOR THE FUTURE? I MENE, MY LIFE IS PRETTY MUCH DULL! IF I DIED TOMORROW, MY LIFE WOULD HAVE MENT NOTHING! NOT A THING, EXCEPT THAT "I HELPED THE HOMELESS" AND "MADE A PRETTY BIG SPLASH WITH MY FRIENDS"! I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO LIFE! SOMEONE PLEASE GET ME OUT OF THE HELL! WHY IS IT SO IMPORTANT FOR TEENAGERS IN HIGH SCHOOL TO HAVE RELATIONSHIPS? WHAT THE HELL ARE WE THINKING? I MENE, I LOVE BEING IN LOVE, HOWEVER, I THINK RELATIONSHIPS ARE THE ONE THING THAT REALLY HOLDS US BACK FROM BEING OURSELVES! TRUE, AT THE MOMENT I AM A VICTIM OF THIS MESSED UP FEELING! AND I'M AWARE OF HOW "CHEESE FOR BRAINS" I'M ACTING ABOUT IT! I'M SO DOOFEY! (YES DOOFEY, GOT A PROBLEM WITH MY WORD? THEN GET ON YOUR KNEES AND EAT ME!) I JUST WISH I COULD GET THOUGH SCHOOL WITHOUT STRESSING OVER A RELATIONSHIP! I LOVE MICHAEL TO DEATH, I REALLY DO! BUT, MY GOD, I'M RISKING RUINING OUR AWSOME FRIENDSHIP AND MY LIFE FOR ABOUT TWO MONTHS, BY FALLING FOR HIM! WHAT THE HELL AM I THINKING? IT'S LIKE THERE IS A PART OF ME ON THE INSIDE LOOKING OUT GOING "NICE ONE BRANIAC, NOW WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO THAT'S GOING TO GET YOU HURT"! PLUS, IN RELATIONSHIPS, WE ARE TOO WORRIED ABOUT THE OTHER PERSON AND MAKING THEM HAPPY, TO EVEN STOP AND WORRY ABOUT OURSELVES! BUT THEN AGAIN, WHAT'S WRONG WITH HAVING A RELATIONSHIP? I MENE, YOU GET TO LOVE SOMEONE AND BE LOVED, AND HOW AMAZING IS THAT! YOU GET TO FEEL SPECIAL LIKE YOU BELONG WITH SOMEONE! LIKE YOU BELONG, PERIOD! AND IT'S A GREAT FEELING. PLUS, YOU HAVE SOMEONE THERE TO TALK TO, AND IF YOU HANDLE A RELATIONSHIP THE RIGHT WAY, GREAT THINGS COULD COME OF IT! I MENE, YOU DON'T HAVE TO GET MARRIED TO HAVE A COOL RELATIONSHIP! WE JUST NEED TO END THINGS ON "GOOD TERMS' INSTEAD OF IN TEARS LIKE USUAL! I DONT KNOW, MAYBE WE SHOULD START LIKE A CAMPAIGN OR SOMETHING. LIKE I DONT KNOW, BE IN A RELATIONSHIP FOR LIKE, A MAXIMUM NUMBER OF MONTHS AND GET ALL YOU POSSIBLY CAN OUT OF THAT RELATIONSHIP. HELP AND BE HELPED! AND IN THE END, INSTEAD OF BREAKING UP TOTAL WANTING TO KILL ONE ANOTHER, YOU MAY ACTUALLY STILL BE FRIENDS! (WOW, THAT'S A CONCEPT!) IN TRUTH, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO MARRY SOMEONE YOU MEET IN HIGHSCHOOL! IT'S JUST NOT POSSIBLE! SO WHY DO WE FEEL LIKE "THIS IS THE ONE" OR "WE HAVE TO BE HAPPY WITH THEM OR LIFE IS GOING TO SUCK?" WHY DON'T WE JUST BE HAPPY AS FRIENDS THAT TRUELY CARE ABOUT HELPING ONE ANOTHER? AM I COMPLETELY INSAIN FOR FEELING THIS WAY? I MENE, BEING TORN BETWEEN SUCH TWO OPPOSING FEELINGS? I REALLY WANT TO BE IN LOVE, AND BE HAPPY AND FEEL SPEICAL! BUT I ONLY HAVE TWO WORDS, ANDY GREEN! THE BOY SCREWED ME UP FOR LIFE! NOW I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT FROM A RELATIONSHIP? DO I WANT TO BE FRIENDS, DATING, FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS? I'M JUST TIRED OF BEING SO CONFUSED ALL THE TIME. AND I'M TIRED OF HAVING PEOPLE CONFUSE ME (COUGH MICHAEL COUGH COUGH!) *SLAMS HEAD ON DESK* MAYBE THE ONLY REASON I'M FEELING TORN IS BECAUSE I AM FEELING SOMETHING FOR A PATICULAR SOMEONE SPECIAL! MAYBE IF I WASN'T INTO HIM, THEN MAYBE I WOULD HAVE MY FEELINGS STRAIGHT! NORMALY, I WOULD TRY AND FIGHT THESE FEELINGS OFF, IF IT WERE ANY OTHER GUY! (OK, I'M GETTING TOO PERSONAL, BACK TO THE MAIN OBJECTIVE!) BUT IS IT POSSIBLE THAT I COULD ACTUALLY BE *DARE I SAY IT* IN LOVE? LOVE DOES MAKE YOU DO CRAZY THINGS! BUT I REFUSE TO ADMIT IT TO MYSELF, OR ANYONE ELSE! ADMITTING IT ONLY LEADS ME INTO CRAZYNESS! I GUESS WHAT I'M GETTING AT IS, MAYBE IF I WASN'T INTO MICHAEL, I WOULDN'T BE SO DUMB, HOWEVER, MAYBE BEING INTO MICHAEL WILL GET ME OUT OF THIS MESSED UP SHELL OF MINE. MY DEFENSE MECHANISIM (IF YOU WILL!) I GUESS, I'LL JUST LET MY HEART LEAD ME THOUGH THIS ONE, BUT I'LL STILL KEEP MY HEAD IN CHECK AS WELL! I CAN PREDICT THE FUTURE, ONLY RECALL THE PAST! BUT MAYBE I'LL FINALLY BE BROUGHT OUT OF MY SHELL, OR MAYBE I'LL LEARN FROM MY MISTAKE (WHICH WILL BE MY LAST ONE!)I GUESS IT'S JUST HUMAN NATURE TO WANT TO BE IN LOVE AND BE IN A RELATIONSHIP! AS WELL AS PROTECTING YOURSELF FROM GETTING HURT AND WAISTING YOUR TIME IN A POINTLESS HIGH SCHOOL RELASTIONSHIP! SO, UNTIL I FIGURE IT OUT FOR MYSELF! 'FULL SPEED AHEAD" IF I GET HURT, IT WON'T BE THE FIRST TIME, AND I SERIOUSLY DOUBT IT'LL BE THE LAST! BUT MAYBE I'LL COME OUT OF THIS, WHATEVER IT TURNS OUT TO BE, A SMARTER PERSON! post comment

Going Crazy [29 Jan 2004|12:39pm] [ mood | crazy ] [ music | Music In my head ] I'm just sitting here, bored as hell. I need an outlet! I feel like I'm in a pool drowning. School Is hell. Murder to the conformists! Get me out of here! post comment

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