Kelsio's Blurty

Time:

4:14 am.

man I'm like dead. I just fell asleep on the desk again. and I wokeup because I hit something. Eekie was gone. I fell asleep a bit. And then lelan was like oh I guess ur dead. But I came awake. But it alked to him like

XcaffienatedX: bah i htik im gonna go to my real abd though leland. like i don't even kno where I am what im doing relly
boy saves girl: your going to your real wha?
XcaffienatedX: my house
XcaffienatedX: and theres pullows theere
boy saves girl: where are you now?
XcaffienatedX: theroom
XcaffienatedX: bye l dll lealdn
XcaffienatedX: leland
boy saves girl: your confusing me kesley
boy saves girl: kelsey*
boy saves girl: your leaving?

man I'm a stupid ass when I'm half asleep and I make no damn sense at all. I don't even understand what i was saying. but it's all good cauz i got coffee. right now we're talking about dreams. speaking of which. I havn't had a rica dream in a long time> i'm glad. I don't like dreaming about my friends death. it is creepy.

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Time:	11:13 am.
Mood:	apathetic.

Listening to *new* music, yup that's right. I finallly downloaded some stuff. man I just woke up.

I don't know how to feel right now. I mean kind of hurt. Mostly I feel vulnerable. too open. My ex best friend wants to fucking kill himself while all I can do is sit and watch. The only guy I like..... well most likely it's just not gonna work out. I just feel like...! I wantt to be in a relationship where something works for once. and I'm sick of all of this "trying" bullshit honestly. I want a relationsip I don't have to try. Work yah I suppose but trying. I don't want to be fake or anything. And man I just feel like nothin is going to work now. I just wish I could never have said, I like you, even though he already knew. And that I never told my friend. Maybe that I never talked to him. No no no I can't say that. he's really cool. I just wish that I never admitted I liked him. I want to be ilke god Kelsey then get over him. But I can't because, what if it would work out? And then yah. I'm afraid to take chances. I mean gah I only like this one guy... I just dunno. I honestly feel like nothing works for me. And it's like all these guys like me, I could hook up with any guy basically. But I don't even like them guys that like me I just like this one kid. And of course, nothing's gonna happen. Of course. man I just feel like smacking myself right now.

Bah man I'm just feeling down right now. Really down.

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Time:	4:05 pm.
Mood:	amused.

Well no school for the rest of the week. That means no spring break. I don't really mind that. Man I'm tired but whatever. I wonder what I'm going to do all this weekend. Most likely sit at home bored with nothing at all to do. Bah what fun. Not. Maybe I'll sleep. No tkd tonight I hope. damn I bet he makes us have it actually anyway becuase he is an asshole like that. It drives me off the wall!

Man I'm prepared for this week to be super boring. Nothing to do. Maybe mall on friday with Erin. Catch a movie. Other than that nothing :/ Talking to poeple right now. Just being bored out of my mind.

Watched get over it like fifty million times today. I LOVE that movie! Gah I'm gonna go out and get that book, midsummer nights dream. I havn't read anything good in so long it's not even funny. And right now I need something to occupy my mind. All I do is sit at the computer, sleep, sleep at the computer, shower, eat, and watch t.v. Man haha eekie DAMN THAT CHINK ISH HOT! LoL haha nobody will ever figure it out....muahahahaa But damn girl you know it's true lol.

Gah I read my bros email today, found even more disturbing shit...

Gah this is too hard im talking to like 0892375089235 poeple right now and it's too hard to get all the boxes right so I keep accidentaly sending poeple wrong stuff

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