Kelsio's Blurty

Time:	2:58 pm.
Mood:	exhausted.

I am extremely tired. I would have though I could sleep last night bceuase I had gone for a while for no sleep, but it was strange. For some reason at 4 in teh afternoon I was falling asleep through my radio turned on volume all the way, but I crawl into bed and just suddenly am not tired. SO I didn't sleep at all last night. I just stared out the window naer my bed and thought about stuff, suddenly realised that the cd had stopped playing. I thought there must be somethign wrong with it, but it was through playing. So I ended up like that, untill about 5:30 am when I finally forced myself out of bed.
Right now it's just really hard. My eyes, even when I blink for a second, it hurts when they are open or being opened. I have tons of spanish homework to do too. 30 new words to memorize, and I need extra credit. The assignment for extra credit is to write each word five times in English and Spanish. So that is 300 words I'm writing basically. But I'll stop complaining, becuase I hate it when poeple complain. I don't want to be a hypocryte.

School was just okay. Health I got lunch detention for chewing gum and then saying I wasn't and going back and forth argueing witht the teacher. And then later at lunch I just didn't show up, becuase I honestly forgot. Even if I didn't forget though, I probably wouldn't have gone. Then I saw Bri. She's in D lunch with me, so I dunno. That lunch doesn't have many of my friends in there. I dunno. Then I went to spanish and blah blah blah.

Sam was telling me about her extremely screwed up relationship with Robert whoever he is. Stupid wrestlers... He told her she was too fat, and rediculous comments like that. And then later on after they broke up he asked her if he kisses good. Haha she was like wtf? And she was making a huge deal about how he druled all over her and practically choked her with his tongue. I must admit, it was a pretty funny story. I guess you had to be there. Hmm I dunno. Then this guy I don't really know was asking if I have a bf etc. and I was just trying to get out lol and then luckily D saved me.

I dunno poeple are starting to bug me. I suppose it could just be the extreme lack of sleep, but that is it. I've decided I want to just be single, forever maybe. Don't feel like getting hurt right now, not up for it one bit. I just yeah. But I also decided I'm gonna make as much time as I can for my friends, becuase I don't want to be forgetting them and all with my crazy schedule. Hmm yah.

Blah I have to go, I have tons of homework

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Time:	3:25 pm.
Mood:	stressed.

Hmm I think I'm gonna take a break from poeple for a while or something. I'm like starting to get sersiosly stressed out with school *despite the fact that exams are over* and tkd and everything. And my mom especially. God I wish my dad was here because he wouldn't put up with her bullshit. And I'm getting in trouble for being online all the time. So I dunno. I'll still write I guess, and then post it once I get on at the end of the day. I think I'm gonna do my writing assignment too. Peace

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Time:	6:00 pm.
Mood:	crazy.

Hmmm the lack of sleep has now made me extremely hyper again. Damn I have to take Cti class tonight. I'm so not in the mood for that crap, joint lock and stick drills. I just am sick of that shit. I HATE JOINT FLOW I HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT!!!! Okay there I am done, I just can't tell anyone that I hate it becuase well I'd get yelled at because it's everyone else's favorite thing. Gah stupid poeple

Hmmm I am SO HAPPY! My mom, even though she is being really bitchy and angry right now, did something okay. She told me she didn't want me to keep this FUCK THIS attitude that I always have, and that I have been workign very ahrd these past few weeks to bring my grades up. Becuase I was kind of failing every class, I didn't feel like doing work. I'd sit in class and just talk and not do anything at all, like turn in blank quizes, or get kicked out of the room. Haha secret communications.... Pshhhh don't ask. But everyone is like oh that child is just not motivated. Pshh they are right. and yah. So she payed me! Just becuase I got semi decent grades she payed me! I mean really it doesnt' make sense to me.... I get straight A's all through my life and it's not big deal. I fail all my classes one semester and then get straight c's practically, and I'm gettin payed for C's! Wowser! So I dunno what is gonna happen when i get a's. But yah. It's not that I'm not smart, but I get bored in classes and then argumentive then pissed off, and finally i flat out refuse to do anything. Yah I know I'm a dumbass.

Wow tomorrow=black belt! I'm kind of happy. After I'm going to Rica's to celebrate/sit. It's party for a while then she's gotta go somewhere. I wanted to go chill with Erin at the mall but yah, I already said I'd do what I said I'd do, you know? Well becuase this week is when all my crazy schedule starts, well next week I mean. I decided I'm gonna take an internet break, like from talking to poeple. I might write in this once in a while, but probably not. But hey if you wanna talk just call, you know the number! If you don't, too bad. Haha nah you can just email. But yah I don't know

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Time:	11:04 pm.
Mood:	depressed.

Just spent the past hour writing an entry about everything going on. I am disgusted by myself lately and how I act, what I do, the dumbass decisions I make. I dunno. I don't want to post it in here, it's too personal I mean woah you would be freaked out by it because it's...disturbing. Not stuff you'd think to hear from me. And yah... I just found out my dad won't be coming home. For a very long time. *Sigh* Life just gets so much more complicated each day. My mom seriosly bitched at me on the car ride home. I spent the evening throwing piosenous glares at Marc when he tuaght class, and expected me to put up with his bullshit. AND TO FUCKING TOP IT ALL OFF, I JUST ATE MY LAST SKITTLE.

On a happier note: My trophies from Nationals finally got here. Wahoo 1sts baby! I can't wait. I'm going burn the one's from last year, because they stand for everything I hate about myself. I know it sounds odd and disturbing, but that's what I'm going to do. It was a period in my life I don't ever want to remember, and now that I have the trophies from this year to replace that empty space with happy memmories, I can go ahead and do it. Maybe I'll write tomorrow. I have gone liek 48 hours without sleep and it's starting to seem late to me. Adios Amigos.

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