I Stole this from someone...who probably stole this from someone else...
THINGS TO DO....
IN THE STORE!
1. Get boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they don't realize it.
2. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
3. Make a trail of orange juice on the floor, leading to the restrooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in housewares," and see what happens.
5. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10."
6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
7. Put M&M's on layaway.
8. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
9. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
10. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
11. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
12. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joe's vs. the X-Men.
13. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
14. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
15. Switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the restrooms.
16. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission Impossible."
17. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
18. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels.
19. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "pick me! pick me!!"
20. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"
21. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
22. Go into the dressing room and yell real loud..."Hey, we're out of toilet paper in here!"
23. Tell the janitors that I puked on isle 6&7.
24. Tell someone I pissed on the floor in the bathroom.
25. Someone has a gun down isle 2.
26. Take condoms out of the boxes and put them on the Ken Barbie doll and make him and Barbie have sex in the middle of the checkout lane
27. If you're a kid, go with one of your friends from the same sex to the jewelry department and pretend like you are getting married ask, "Do you have any rings small enough to fit my finger?" (Put your arms around each other.)
28. Head-butt solid objects
29. Point and laugh at people
30. Walk round with a big lollipop and crying asking for your mommy.
31. Go up to the cashier and tell them they look like someone famous and ask for their autograph.
32. Wear headphones with the wire not plugged into the CD player and start dancin.
33. Pick a person, and follow him wherever he goes and when he turns around and looks at you just make a big smile.
34. Go up to people, and act like a mime, DONT say anything.
35. Go into the bathroom stall (make sure theres people there) and make lots of farting noises, and banging, then come out and say "thats better!" And walk out.
36. Put one of your friends in a market cart and race random people in the parking lot and take the empty parking spaces before they get there (especially old people).
37. Get on the pay phone and go screaming and yelling into the phone saying stuff like you know you my baby daddy and if you are a guy be like that aint my baby I fucked you once and I know it aint my baby.
38. Play tag with the customers.
IN AN ELEVATOR!
1) Make racecar noises when anyone gets on or off.
2) Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your handkerchief to the other passengers.
3) Twist your back painfully while smacking your forehead and mumbling "Shut up. Dammit, all of you just shut up!"
4) Whistle some annoying TV series themes.
5) Sell Girl Scout cookies.
6) On a long ride, swing your body side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
7) Shave with a razor blade and insist people not to press any buttons until you are done.
8) Crack open your briefcase or bag, look inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
9) Offer nametags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
10) Stand silently and motionless in the corner facing the wall. Don't get off at any floor.
11) When arriving at your floor, go back and prepare to kick the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
12) Lean over to another passenger and whisper "Woohoo... anybody there?"
13) Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
14) On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stays open until you hear the coin you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
15) Do Tai Chi or Yoga exercises.
16) Stare and smile at another passenger for a while. Finally announce, "I've got my new socks on!"
17) When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!"
18) Give religious flyers to each passenger.
19) Meow like a horny cat occasionally.
20) Bet the other passengers you can fit a coin in your nose.
21) Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
22) Sing "Mary had a Little Lamb" while continually pushing buttons.
23) Shout "Bombs away!" whenever the elevator stops and someone gets out.
24) Enter the elevator with a portable fridge that says "Human head" on the side.
25) Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of them!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
26) Burp, and then say "Mmmm... tasty!"
27) Leave a box between the doors purposely.
28) Ask passengers getting on if you can push the button for them.
29) Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
30) Start to sing sing-along songs and ask others to join you.
31) When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your cellular phone?"
32) Shadow box against the elevator mirror.
33) Proudly say, "Ding!" at each floor.
34) Lean against the button panel pretending that you are asleep so that noone is able to press them.
35) Say, "I wonder what all of these buttons do," and push all the buttons. Don't forget to
36) Push the "Emergency Stop" button.
37) Listen to the elevator walls with a doctor's stethoscope.
38) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
39) Bring a chair with you and sit on it in the middle of the elevator.
40) Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger "Wanna fee whafs in muh mouf?"
41) Blow big bubblegum balloons and make them blow with a big blast.
42) Pull your bubblegum out of your mouth in long strings and tie it around your fingers.
43) Announce in a demonic voice "I must find a more suitable host body."
44) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
45) Ask people to hold your hands when you go down.
46) When the people press buttons I press another. -Tracy
47) When its quiet, start yelling tons of curse words, and then say oops, sorry thats just my Tourettes.
48) Fall on the floor and pretend your having convulsions.
49) Start gasping for air, and say, "I cant find my inhaler! I cant breath"!
50) Get on your knees, and pray (out loud) that you'll make it out of the elevator.
51) Pick a person in the elevator, and ask him his name, age, and all kinds of personal questions
52) When you get in the elevator, look at everyone weirdly, and scream your all evil. Then start banging on the elevator door, screaming for help.
53) Pretend you have an imaginary friend and have a nice, long conversation with him.
54) Fart, and then look at the person next to you in disgust, say excuse you, and move to the other side.
55) Stand in the corner holding your crotch and jumping up and down repeating loudly 'Need a wee, Need a wee, Need a wee' but don't get off at any floor.
56) When you get off the elevator press all the buttons and watch people get mad
57) Smack peoples hands when they go to push a button and say, Thats my job!
58) Take a friend and make sure you're the only ones in there. Draw a chalk outline of a body partially on the wall and on the floor. Watch peoples expressions.
1. Read the dictionary backward
2. Sit on peoples laps.
3. Turn lights on and off 'till someone hits you.
4. Type your paper with alternating FoNtS and SiZeS.
5. Write it all on sticky notes and paste it on your teachers door.
6. While writing a 10-page report, stick a recipe for chocolate cake in the middle and see if any one notices
7. Hum the mission impossible theme as you run to class hiding from the hall patrol
8. Kick your locker and then look at it and yell OOPS NOT MINE!!!!
9. Sing the Twilight Zone song when your teacher turns off the lights and puts on the overhead
10. When being shown how to do CPR with some cheap dummies go to one and start to hug it and say, Its okay its okay. They can't hurt you. Youre safe with me.
11. French the CPR dummies and say your making them feel better.
12. Speak German in your English class and speak English in your German class.
13. Pop your gum really loud into the ear of the teachers pet and say that they are even more amazing and can blow bubbles out of their ears. (if gum gets stuck)
14. Drop your pencil and when someone bends down to get say "no that's mine!"
15. Glue coins to the floor and see how many people try to pick them up.
16. Leave condoms in the drinking fountains.
17. Throw pencils that stick in the ceiling and make short people try to get them out.
18. Wedge chalk into the erasers.
19. If you can get your hands on some live pigs, grease them up and label them 1,2,4. Release them in the school. People will be looking a long time for pig number 3.
20. Put motor oil on all the janitors mops.
21. Run the mile in the opposite direction.
22. During lunchtime, pretend to have flashbacks of Vietnam.
1. Find out what a frog in a blender really looks like
2. Make a list of things you have already done
3. Sit on a rose bush naked
4. Do a four-piece jigsaw
5. Get sum food sum army men and have a war with snack time in between.
6. Summer day, magnifying glass, ant colony = lots of devilish fun.
7. Take a little box and put a big bug in their. Take sum small little bugs and put them in and watch them fight and have little tournaments. And even give them names them warriors like Hercules and Zeus.
AT THE POOL!
1) Stand on top of the high board and say you won't come down until your demands are met.
2) Tell the lifeguards that they aren't doing their jobs because you have seen at least 15 people kind of almost drown today.
3) Ask people if they have seen your pet shark.
4) Sit in the baby pool and play with the toys.
5) Take a flutter board and pretend you can't swim.
6) Hit strangers with your flutter board.
7) Ask an attractive lifeguard to practice CPR on you.
8) Sit in front of a water jet, make moaning sounds and say, ''Oh yeah... oooh that feels soooo good....''
9) Sit on the top of the water slide and don't move.
10) Swim near someone and go ''Shoot! I knew I shouldn't have had so much lemonade before I came here.''
11) Insist that you saw a monster at the bottom of the pool.
12) Pretend to drown and then when someone tries to help you, say ''HA-HA, fooled you!''
13) Scream as someone is jumping off of a diving board.
14) Laugh at fat people in swimsuits.
15) Tell people you saw the lifeguard peeing in the pool.
16) Ask a lifeguard if skinny-dipping is allowed.
17) Try to negotiate the price of getting in.
18) Take a really long time when you are on top of the high dive and then act as though you were pushed off.
19) When in line, ask strangers if they think invisible people get a discount.
20) Take your towel, tie it around your shoulders and say ''Wheee! I'm Batman!'' while running around.
21) Hit strangers with your wet towel.
22) Throw people's things into the pool.
23) Sing and dance on top of the diving board, then do a belly-flop as your grand-finale.
24) Play Marco-Polo by yourself.
25) Ask small children if they have seen any suspicious-looking sea monsters lately Current Mood: calm