Evil_Emo_Elmo

5:59am:
I never update


why is YOUR livejournal annoying?
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5:54am:
Bavaria:

Power for Power's Sake.

Fnord.


Which Illuminati are you?
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2:55am: -= I wrote these =-
Too punk
too punk rock for asthma
to trendy
to dine at the casbah
too poor
to pay for the movies
too masculine
for strayberry smoothies
Alright!

Too lazy
to write decent lyrics
Too Proud
For choruses and gimmicks
Too tired
to edit this shit
Too uninspired
to go on...

Too punk
too punk rock for asthma
to trendy
to dine at the casbah
too poor
to pay for the movies
too masculine
for strayberry smoothies
Alright!

Fuck off and DIE!!!

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

I live in a nation of malicious demagogues
the state of the union is all lies, monologues
nothing but preaching, no dialogues
governed without consent of the citizens
this is how Orwell's nightmare begins:
Apathy, ingnorance gives way to dystopia
almighty youth suckle six-milimeters, a conrnucopia
With no end in sight, we're a nation with myopia

So let the bombs drop, the anthrax spores spread
so long as every white American has bread
and I don't have to smell the mounting dead
and two consenting men never share a bed

Clear Channel, save me from the naughty noise
Illuminati, Vatican, make sure the world is run by boys
NRA, protect the sanctity of my ever-so-patriotic toys

American Idol, perpetuate beauty standards, and reward only ability
the soul imbued in the art isn't as important as the artist's flexibility

And the public demands immediate sedation
they avert their eyes from blatant predation
death to them all before humiliation
"liberation" to them all before humiliation

And the public demands immediate sedation
they avert their eyes from blatant predation
death to them all before my humiliation
"liberation" to them all before my father's humiliation

5:51am: -= end =-
GOD, today was dumb.

Jennifer's best friend and her bandmate (Amanda and Matt, respectively) drove up from San Diego. They're generic Californian hipsters; pure and simple. They did nothing but bash Tucson and my sobriety for the duration of our adventure downtown.

I saw Honor in the parking lot of the loft, and thought she was Becca (it was dark). That was embarassing, and lame.

Devon and I were supposed to hang out at ten. He never showed. He better have gotten raped.

Cody and I were supposed to hang out as well; but he had some teenage business to attend to. Dawson's mother fuckin' Creek, man.

Today is going to suck. I have to go to work at 11:00, and I can't sleep. It's also "inventory season", so that shouldn't be exciting, either.

I get my wisdom teeth yanked out tomorrow. 'Nough said.

I truly, honestly, swear to Stan Lee, want to die...all of the time.

3:48am: -= Yawn =-
I really want to form a band with Dillon. It'd be oodles of fun.

Jennifer's friend Amanda has driven down from San Diego, Cali. She'll be here for a few days. I've got no qualms with the girl--she's hip, and she makes Jenny G. ever-so-giddy.

Have any of you hipsters heard of "BRANDSTON"? They sound like an up-tempo guster. Check 'em out.

I miss Meghan Buckner. I miss Illinois. Tucson is rad, but there's something about a God awful local, an awful school environment, and a few rad kids that makes the place close to my heart.




Old school punk! You just say what you have to say
regardless of what everyone else thinks!
You're one of my most favourite types of
music... You're raw and uncut! You're
surrounded by hype...just don't let it make you
go insane...


What genre of rock are you?
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How straight edge are you?
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6:19am: -=Rehashing Obsolete Memories=-
And at last, he makes his triumphant return to the world of the voyeurism and introspection.

I gave life to this last summer for a reason; well, a myriad reasons, actually: I felt lonely, misunderstood, homesick, and in desperate need to feel alive--connected to something larger than myself. Only writing can do that for me.

I've now breath fresh air into this dusty monster for the same reasons I initially constructed it.

I define my existence by the amount of goods I can produce and consume within the span of my life. When I was very young my mother constantly expressed her guilt for raising me "poor". I never knew we were poor untill she told me so. Her stress lead me to believe that self-worth was to be determined by monetary-worth. She perpetuated our arrangement via "charging" various decorations and toys, and presenting them to me as a reward for model behavior. I've forever since equated having money and goods with being "good".

Now, I've reached a cliché consciousness which compells me to reject all things material, and evolve beyond my senses. The only propper compulsion I allow myself to indulge in is the innate need I have to produce sensory contructs--be they visual (as text, or images), audio ( as spoken words, or simple string resonations), or tactile (making a lover cum).

My most successful endeavor was writing for the school paper. I now crave a much wider audience. I'm applying to be a "teen columnist" for the Tucson Citizen paper, and I'm also (quite excitedly) composing a script for an INCREDIBLE HULK story arc.

This live journal should whet my appetite for self-expression, this summer.

9:41pm:
Lucifer. The most misunderstood of all the
ArchAngels, you're most like the ArchAngel of
Light. You've seen the darkside and have opted
for something better. You need better press,
though chances are no one will really
understand your motives.


Which ArchAngel are you most like?
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10:48pm: -= Steven =-
DancingKings: I think you should update your journal and be like, " steven is a sexy beast......and cool."

4:12am: -= "You make me so much happy" =-
For all of those whom care if I post in this lil' guy, I'm sorry that I haven't been the epitome of activeness for the last few days.... Jennifer is finally back!

The Jennster has finally returned! Rejoice kids, rejoice. I got to spend obscene amounts of time with her the day she got back, and after she got back. She even came with my mom to pick me up from work! She's so fucking grand! We plan on going down to 4th. avenue on Monday, to buy new school clothes, and marijuana. That's right; in the three days in which I neglected to update my ever-changing philosophy on life in this journal, I decided to abandon my entire straight-edge philosophy on substance usage. Mmmm hmmm.

I got my paycheck Thursday. Woo-hoo! I'm going to go buy a big platinum dollar sign necklace, and a fuzzy Puma fisherman's hat. Bling Bling, dolla bill, y'all! Take money money, make money, money, money!

I payed a visit to Charlie's comic book shop today, and picked up issues of "The Ultimates" (which sucks), "Teen Titans", "Just League Of America", "The Incredible Hulk", and "KINGDOM COME". "Kingdom Come" is an excellent trade paperback graphic novel about the necessity of cultural icons, and the issue of diplomacy vs. violence. I dig it. You should, too.

I seem to enjoy "Team Up" comics more, now that Jennifer has come home, and I'm a lot happier. Does that trip anyone else out? Before Jennifer came back I was reading a lot of Alan Moore stuff about Jack the Ripper, broody "Batman" books, and angsty "Ultimate Spider-Man" stuff. Now, I'm reading "Teen Titans", "Outsiders", "JLA", "The Ultimates", and "Kingdom Come"; all of which revolve around the relationships of it's characters (as opposed to the mental illnesses of the protagonist, as in the first list). Does that mean something? Hmm....

I fucking love you guys...


"Heart-Shaped Box" is your song.


What Nirvana song is on the soundtrack to your life?(now with pics)
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1:27pm: -= I'm batshit insane =-
I was feeling depressing Jennifer withdrawls, so I went online and read her journal entires that have my name in them. Does that make me crazy? I think so.

That Dream video just caught my eye, again. I kind of dig that song. It has a really sexy beat. Not as good as "Closer", but what is; really?

I'm going insane....seriously. I think I'm cracking up. I'm scared that I'm going to get fired from my job, I'm concerned about Jennifer having not called me last night, I'm worried about my mom and Nick being unemployed, and I'm really nervous that Jennifer is going to come back from vacation (after being surrounded by sexy guys n' gals at the beach all vacation), and be disapointed with me, and my disheveled, unkempt appearance. None of those things are under my control, but I still find it necessary to stress out over them. Bleh.

Jennifer is by NO MEANS superficial ( that's not part of perfection, silly), but I'd still like to be attractive to her. I just don't know what to do to alleviate my anxiety. I can't change who I am, 'cause I'm extremely happy with myself, right now, and I'm sure that she doesn't think I'm too bad a fella, either. It's just lame superficial stuff I'm a little worried about. I don't usually care about anything appearance-wise ( Right now, I'm wearing camoflauge shorts, tube socks, and an old gym T-shirt with the name "Peter Parker" written on it). It's just that I've seen one of her ex-boys, and he was gorgeous. Jennifer and I connect on this crazy spiritual, and emotional wavelength that trips me out whenever I think about it, but I still want her to want to jump my emo bones, whenever she sees me! Is that too much to ask? Thought so.

I love Jennifer SOOO much. I feel eerily conjoined to her. I still feel like I can sense her presence, sometimes; even though she's miles and miles away. It's like, whenever I think about her, she's hear with me. I don't just remember times I've shared with her, I relive them. For instance, the time it rained while we were shopping on 4th Avenue, and we shared this really intense, really passionate kiss. I'll remember that 'till the day I die. Love scenes in movies wish they captured that kind of raw loving energy. Fuck Kirsten Dunce and Tobey McGuire. Fuck them in the ass.

9:08am: I went to bed early last night, because I was depressed that I didn't get to talk to Jennifer.

That allowed me to wake up early, and waste my time watching "Turner Classic Movies". Oh, Joy. Every woman of the fifties looked like a painted whore. They all wore their make up "Christina Aguilera style", with corsets, and other unnatural, extraneous doo-dads. It must've been hard work being female.

The entire purpose of that last paragraph was to allow myself to change the subject, and not talk about being bummed out about Jennifer not calling me. I hate it when I do that.

I was pretty morose about Jenn-Jenn not giving me a ring last night, but I wasn't as fucked up as I would've foretold. The conversation that we shared the night before last was so emotionally fulfilling and memorable, that my happiness has yet to ware off, completely. Gee-Golly, I love that girlie! Seriously, now!

I did nothing yesterday except for sleep all day (despite Becca and Melaney calling to invite me to the mall ['cause they rock] ), and then go play Heroclix with some friends at Things for Thinkers (a local comic and nerd-gaming specialty shop). I came in DEAD LAST. Neither my mind, nor heart, was really in it.

We'll see whether or not I get out of my way and do something useful with today's time. Time shall tell.


"Nice, your hard on for smiting has prevented us from negotiating the relatively simple matter of catching or staying put on a bus" - Bartlbey, to Loki, in "DOGMA"

10:33am: -= Oh look, a survey =-
Soft Serve Or Regular Ice Cream?: Frozen vegan yogurt, bro.

Favorite Ice Cream Flavor?: I don't really dig ice cream that much...chocolate, I guess.

Brown Sodas Or Clear Sodas?: Those are the only two choices? *Psh* What about "code red"?

Bad Habits?: I'm really lazy when it comes to cleaning anything. I'm also self-conscious, but who isn't?

Cats Or Dogs?: I love all animals, but cats seem to like me more than dogs do. 'cept for Elvis.

Have Any Pets?: I share my room with an albino rat.

Pizza Toppings?: Cheese, green peppers, mushrooms, seal livers.

Favorite Color?: I dig black and purple alot. If you assholes reply saying "black is a shade", then I'll kill you.

Most Important Quality In The Oppisite Sex?: Intelligence.

Favorite Brand Gum?: Trident.

Rainbow Or One Flavor SnowCones?: Rainbow.

Safety Pins Or Paperclips?: Safety Pins...I'm hardcore.

Bright Or Dull Colors?: Earth tones.

Milk, Water, Or Juice?: Purified Water

Cold Or Hot Weather?: Hot weather, because it doesn't hinder my ability to get the fuck out of the house.

Favorite Movie(s)?: Rushmore, Reservois Dogs, Clerks, Fight Club, Mallrats, Pulp Fiction, The Matrix: Reloaded,
Daredevil, Love Liza, Spider-Man.

Favorite Book(s)?: "Memnoch The Devil", "Invisible Monsters", "A Confederacy Of Dunces", "Fight
Club", "Excelsior: The Amazing Life Of Stan Lee", "Choke", "I, Robot", "Survivor"...those are just the traditional
novels. If I listed comic story arcs, it would take all day.

Favorite School Subject?: Guitar, Honors English

Favorite Super Hero?: *Gasp* That's like picking one's favorite child...How dare you?

DVD Or VHS?: DVD...fuck, I'm trendy.

CD Or Tape?: CDs.

Masking, Duct, Or Scotch Tape?: Depends upon the situation.

Liquid Or Pill Medication?: I'm unable to swallow pills.

Mashed Or Baked Potatoes?: What? Because I'm half Irish? Fuck, you're rascist.

*guys only unless you are bi or lez* Makeup Or Natural Looking Girls?: Natural looking girlies :)

Would You Date Somebody You Weren't Physically Attracted To?: No. I'm so ashamed...

Favorite TV Channel?: I don't like television. I guess "Comedy Central".

Favorite Radio Station?: KFMA in Tucson, Q101 in Chicago.

Best Concert You've Ever Been To?: KFMA Day 4. Not because of the bands, but because of the company :)

Best Gift You've Ever Been Given?: A Rooney CD, because it commemorated something very special to me.

Best Vacation You've Ever Been On?: Cleveland Ohio, with my best friend Meghan Buckner.

Bubblegum Or Chewing Gum?: bubblegum, fo' sho'. Especially when cute girls are chewing it. Bubbles are
sexy. So are decayed teeth.

7:19am: -= People whom think things up like this make our country really hard to be proud of =-
" WASHINGTON (July 29) - The Pentagon views it as a potentially innovative way to get clues about terrorists' plans: a public, stock market-style exchange where traders can profit by correctly predicting terror attacks or assassinations in the Middle East.

Two Democratic senators say the program is useless, offensive and immoral. They are demanding that the program be stopped before investors start signing up Friday.

``The idea of a federal betting parlor on atrocities and terrorism is ridiculous and it's grotesque,'' Sen. Ron Wyden, D-Ore., said Monday.

The program is called the Policy Analysis Market. The Pentagon office overseeing it, the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, or DARPA, said it was part of a research effort ``to investigate the broadest possible set of new ways to prevent terrorist attacks.''

Traders would buy and sell futures contracts - just like energy traders do now in betting on the future price of oil. But the contracts in this case would be based on what might happen in the Middle East in terms of economics, civil and military affairs or specific events, such as terrorist attacks.

Holders of a futures contract that came true would collect the proceeds of traders who put money into the market but predicted wrong.

A graphic on the market's Web page Monday showed hypothetical futures contracts in which investors could trade on the likelihood that Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat would be assassinated or Jordanian King Abdullah II would be overthrown. Although the Web site described the Policy Analysis Market as Middle East market, the graphic also included the possibility of a North Korea missile attack.

That graphic apparently was removed from the Web site hours after the news conference in which Wyden and fellow Democratic Sen. Byron Dorgan of North Dakota criticized the market.

Dorgan described the market as ``unbelievably stupid.''

``Can you imagine if another country set up a betting parlor so that people could go in ... and bet on the assassination of an American political figure or the overthrow of this institution or that institution?'' he said.

But in its statement Monday, DARPA said markets could reveal ``dispersed and even hidden information. Futures markets have proven themselves to be good at predicting such things as elections results; they are often better than expert opinions.''

According to its Web site, the Policy Analysis Market would be a joint program of DARPA and two private companies, Net Exchange, a market technologies company, and the Economist Intelligence Unit, the business information arm of the publisher of The Economist magazine.

DARPA has been criticized by Congress for its Terrorism Information Awareness program, a computerized surveillance program that has raised privacy concerns. Wyden said the Policy Analysis Market is under the supervision of retired Adm. John Poindexter, the head of the Terrorism Information Awareness program and, in the 1980s, national security adviser to President Reagan.

The Web site does not address how much money investors would be likely to put into the market but says analysts would be motivated by the ``prospect of profit and at pain of loss'' to make accurate predictions.

Trading is to begin Oct. 1. The market would initially be limited to 1,000 traders, increasing to at least 10,000 by Jan. 1.

The Web site says government agencies will not be allowed to participate and will not have access to the identities or funds of traders.

The market is a project of a DARPA division called FutureMAP, or ``Futures Markets Applied to Prediction.''

``The rapid reaction of markets to knowledge held by only a few participants may provide an early warning system to avoid surprise,'' the FutureMap Web site said.

Dorgan and Wyden released a letter to Poindexter calling for an end to the program. They noted a May 20 report to lawmakers that cited the possibility of using market forces to predict whether Israel will be attacked with biological weapons.

``Surely such a threat should be met with intelligence gathering of the highest quality - not by putting the question to individuals betting on an Internet Web site,'' they said.

Wyden said $600,000 has been spent on the program so far and the Pentagon plans to spend an additional $149,000 this year. The Pentagon has requested $3 million for the program for next year and $5 million for the following year.

Wyden said the Senate version of next year's defense spending bill would cut off money for the program, but the House version would fund it. The two versions will have to be reconciled.

07/29/03 02:02 EDT

Copyright 2003 The Associated Press. The information contained in the AP news report may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or otherwise distributed without the prior written authority of The Associated Press. All active hyperlinks have been inserted by AOL. "

Can you imagine that? Our government is going to set up a program which allows it's citizens to profit off of the deaths of people in other countries. I feel very uneasy about that?

Have any of you read "The Dark Night Returns: 2 ", by Frank Miller? Our government is getting closer and closer to the opressive regime represented in that book, every single day. Republican Party = Legion Of Doom. We might as well have supervillians running our government. Hell, I'd vote for Gorilla Grodd over Joseph Lieberman, if he was for abolishing limitations on homosexual marriages. At least we know that Grodd has an off-the-charts I.Q. ( unlike our current president)....even if he is a monkey in a cape.

Can you believe that our government wants to spend $8,749,000.00 on this silly thing? Why don't we focus on feeding our hungry, teaching the 20% of our nation's adults whom are illiterate, finding "dead beat" fathers whom owe child support, funding cancer and aids research, and liberating the animals being inhumanely slaughtered by our fast food chain restaurants? Fuck this online terrorism betting stuff, fuck Martha Stewart's trial, fuck killing Sadamm's spoiled children, fuck fighting in Liberia.

When your nation's troops are rebelling against you ( the recent rebel uprising in Liberia, initiated by troops whom want to go home, and stop pointlessly fighting), you know that you're doing something wrong.

Sorry to make another geeky reference, but has anyone seen " Gundam Wing: Endless Waltz"? That movie has the best description of war I've ever heard: an endless dance in which the partners change, but the steps stay the same. Why can't we all unite for peace? We all want it! We seriously need a little anarchy up in this piece, for a while...let's use diplomacy and democracy to end this party's reign of violence and terror.

All right...enough heavy stuff. I just saw the new Dream and Evanescence videos. Erm.... *gulp* I hate teenage hormones...even my chess pieces are starting to look phallic to me, now. *grr*

On a completely unrelated note, Jennifer comes home in two days! Yes, COMPLETELY UNRELATED. *tee-hee*

Jennifer, if you're reading this: Remember that song you asked me about a few days ago? The one with the lyrics " the truth is even if you slit my throat I'd apologize for bleeding on your shirt"? That song is " You're so last summer", by Taking Back Sunday. Damn, I'm punk rock. I love you, kiddo!! *mwah*

9:44pm: -= Lame =-
Conversation of the day:


" PapaOffspring099: how the fuck do you spell ostrige?
Evil Emo Elmo: ostriche.
PapaOffspring099: is that right?
PapaOffspring099: thanks
Evil Emo Elmo: I rule.
PapaOffspring099: yeah ya do
Evil Emo Elmo: The key to getting laid is good spelling.
PapaOffspring099: really?
Evil Emo Elmo: *Psh* Yeah.
PapaOffspring099: so i should be like "lets go have s-e-x to chicks"?
Evil Emo Elmo: LOL
Evil Emo Elmo: That's fantastic.
Evil Emo Elmo: AND going in my journal.
PapaOffspring099: lol
Evil Emo Elmo: Dude...
Evil Emo Elmo: I fucked up. There's no "e" in ostrich.
PapaOffspring099: you bitch!
Evil Emo Elmo: That's why I haven't gotten any vergina in a while.
Evil Emo Elmo: lol
PapaOffspring099: i acttually knew that and diddnt say anytthing cus i diddn't want to destroy your "I rule" moment
PapaOffspring099: lol
Evil Emo Elmo: Fuck you, dude. "

4:08am: -= I'm such an asshole =-
I feel really shitty right now.

Jennifer called earlier, and I got off of the phone after a very short conversation because I didn't want to upset the girl who's birthday I was attending. Fuck her! I like Traci a ton, and I'd never do anything to intentionally upset her, but I LOVE Jennifer. I'm such a dick for cutting our talk short. I've regretted it all day long.

Jennifer is way too sweet and understanding. She should have told me what a selfish dick I was being when I told her my "predicament".

Ergh.

As for what happened today, it was pretty eventful. I left for the mall at 3:00, to pick up some gift cards for Traci, and some small gifts for Jennifer (which I won't divulge in this entry, for fear that she's going to read it, and it would ruin the suprise), went to Traci's Birthday party from 6:00 untill 11:00, then went to "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" untill 'round three in the morning. I was invited to the after-party, with the cast, but I didn't really trust the guy whom was willing to drive me home, afterwards. That, and I knew there was probably going to be drugs.

The mall was fun. Devin, Dillon, and I made friends with the "free samples girl", in the food court, after I stood behing her with a homemade " FREE SAMPLES = COMMUNISM " sign, and gave her a ton of shit. She's nice. Not astonishingly bright, but nice. She swore alot. We also erected a ton of signs on the "anouncement stands" and various bulletin boards located around the mall, reading: " JESUS HAD A MULLET". We're going to go again, tomorrow, to see if the one at the Borders drinking-fountain-area bulletin board is still posted. We had to run off the mall premises (hop the wall blocking off the park from the mall) to evade mall security, once. It's good I didn't get caught, and told not to come back to the mall for a week. That would mean me not being able to work for a week. It's not THAT big of a risk, though, 'cause those silly "mall rule enforcers" will never catch the likes of us! When will they learn?

Traci's party was REALLY boring, untill I convinced everyone to strip down to their skivvies, and hop into the pool. They were apprehensive at first, but they followed my lead rather quickly. Only Casey and Stephanie stayed out, which is probably for the better. They kept trying to dunk my head, whenever I swam by the edge. Heh. I think I caught Dillon checking out Cindy a lil'. Heh. I also fought Devin out in front of Traci's house (and won; by means of picking him up vertically, with his head below my knees, and dropping him), and skateboarded a little.

Travis, Devin, Cody, Cindy and I went to "Rocky Horror", to see Anthony's first performance. Good times were had by all. Travis drove Devin, and me to the show in his new PIMPED-OUT "Cavalier", with his new Goldfiner CD blasting at full volume! Cody wore his golden "Rocky" underpants, and nothing else. He looked stunning, of course. Damn "pretty kid". Cindy had to take off her shirt to get Cody to take of his clothes. Thanks for "Taking one for the team", sweety! Heh heh heh. Casey did my make-up, as usuall. She's pretty a pretty talented obscure make-up artist. She offered to do it at the party, and I let her. She seems to genuinely want to be friends with me, now. I still don't hang out with her one-on-one, or invite her to spend time with my crew, though. I'd feel weird if Jennifer did that with Reggie, or one of her other ex-boys.

I'm going to go play "HEROCLIX" tomorrow, at noon.

I'm trying to keep my days busy, so that I don't stay home and sulk over Jennifer so much. I had a really intense burst of negative emotion at Traci's party (due to me missing Jennifer, and realising what an asshole I am for cutting our conversation short), but Cindy cheered me up. She instantly knew why I was sad, and screamed "Only FOUR MORE DAYS, Eric!". That made me chuckle. My friends are awesome.

THE FOLLOWING IS INTENDED ONLY FOR DILLON:

Dude....you bought a "replay card"....

6:00am: -= Ever put way too much thought into anything? =-
You know what makes me sad? The fact that Kenner has only made one action of figure of Clark Kent, while they have literally hundred of variations of the simple old-school americana costume Superman. It's more profitable to exploit the character's physical might, than his psycological depth.

Don't kids think of Clark Kent, whom is a champion of truth (as a morally-conscious reporter for the most reputable metropolitan newspaper in the planet) as a hero, as well? Are we bastardizing the entire idea of such a classic hero that much? Are the authors whom write the Superman media aimed at children (Unlike most of the current comic book titles published monthly, bearing his name) so daft as to not highlight this key element of his psyche, in their stories?

The original appeal of Superman was that he was a really nice guy, whom dressed up as a man of mystery, and helped the working-class men of America in their daily trials, and tribulations. NOW, it seems as if the assumed Superman persona takes precedence over Clark's. I don't want the kids of America to grow up thinking that they need heat vision in order to change the world of the better! I want them to know that Clark Kent's writing (which exposes the nefarious plots of Lex Luthor, and other dastardly antagonists) is ten times more effective in getting rid of crime, than Superman's titanic strenght.

Superman is a smalltown farmboy, with simple, utopian values, and that makes him a loveable character. His elderly adopted parents were staunch nationalistic republicans, and taught him to fight for TRUTH, JUSTICE, AND THE AMERICAN WAY. Without such noble guidance, he could've ended up a tyrant, and enlsave humanity on a whim. This part of his story is also good for kids to learn about, because it shows the value of listening to one's elders, when one is growing up.

All-in-all, it fills me with righteous indignation whenever I see my beloved old-school DC "big blue boyscout" being exploited for his physical prowess, without his noble ideals, and shining personality as Clark Kent, even mentioned.

I should be Clark Kent's publicist.

He is too real! Shut up! The protagonists of the graphic novel realm are the closest things we have to the mythological pantheons of the early age of man, and mythology has always been the first tool with which we sculpt the minds of the young into be the heroes of tomorrow.

11:18pm: -= I'm tired of sex =-
I've been thinking alot about sex recently, and I've come to the conclusion that I hate it. I absolutely abhore it. It's a crude, barbaric, act. It's not a symbol of love. It's not a symbol of anything. It's succumbing to urges. It makes people insane, and it causes emotions to overwhelm the logical part of the mind.

I recently heard that Dillon and Melaney are going to have sex for the first time, on camera. Casey (my ex-girlfriend) will be taping said acts. No joke. They were all stone-cold serious. One of my best friend's first time is going to be filmed, as a constant reminder of his stupid teenage years. I hope he doesn't regret it. Dillon is a very, very, intelligent guy...I see that kind of stuff as below him. I don't know. Maybe I just look up to my friends too much.

I miss romance.

I spoke to Jennifer on the phone today, TWICE! Who's lucky? That would be ME....and the who's job it is to put those lil' black bars over the girls' breats in those "Girls Gone Wild" (or as I like to call them: "GGW") tapes.

I had raging inadequacy issues (yes, again) due to something that I read online, and we talked about it for a few seconds, and I felt right-as-rain. Jennifer and I can tell each other everything, and I love it! I don't have that nagging fear in the back of my head that I did with Casey, when I told her things. Jennifer would never take anything that I confided in her, and use it against me in upcoming arguments. She's the greatest...at everything.

That last sentence wasn't meant to sound sexual. It just happened that way.

You know who is a great band? THE GET UP KIDS. Yeah they are, Jennifer. Don't give me shit. All right, you want to be that way? Who listens to Prodigy and Natalie Merchant back-to-back, anyway? Huh? Huh? *tee-hee*

8:56am: -= Feelin' all Emo =-
I feel really weird right now. I should probably go get some sleep. I heard that song "Trip On Love" from Abra Moore, and started crying a little bit. Not a big, ugly, "boo hoo" kind of cry. Just a few little "Alligator tears" running down my cheek.

I should go watch some football, or lesbian porn, or kill something defenseless.



-Your favorite pussy,
Eric

6:32am: -= Reading makes you sex =-
I wrote an extremely rough draft of a song that's been floating around in my head for a few hours, now. It is as follows:

Everything that's wet sometime drys
and everything that's alive sometime dies
So wipe those tears off of your eyes
And that fear off of your heart
'cause every ending's a start

Life's a test,
so make do with what you're given
Just do your best
And pray to God that you're forgiven

What comes after this
noone knows?
All things religeous
At funerals are shows

All that's consequential
to cats like you and me
Isn't ornamental
it should be our legacy

'cause how you're remembered
by your friends and enemies
Long after you're dismembered
Will last forever as memories

Will last forever...
As memories.


Any comments? Post 'em, if you have any.

I read some stuff in Jennifer's journal that made me kind of paranoid. You kids know that "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde" story? Well, insecurity is my "Hyde Elixir". The minute even a shadow of a doubt begins to form in my mind, I turn into a ragin maniac.

Jennifer is the only person whom has ever had this effect on me, however. I'm usually very confident, clever, and dominating with those whom I'm pursuing romantically. I don't mean dominating in a negative, abusive kind of way. I only mean to say that I like to take control of situations. In the preview for "Gigli" Ben Affleck's character says that "In every relationship, there is a cow, and a bull. I'm the bull.". I like that. With Jennifer, I'm a bumbling, giggling school girl. I have no control over my emotions, or even what's coming out of my mouth, half the time. It's insane. I'm not used to this. It's very alien, and against my nature. I'm starting to love it!

It's really fucking exciting!

Speaking of exciting things: "Superman: The Adventures Of Lois And Clark" is on right now. I've had a crush on Terri Hatcher since I first saw the show in my pre-pubescent days. It's only when she's playing Lois Lane, though. Lois Lane is awesome because she was an avatar of woman's rights, when she was created. She's a boisterous, headstrong, intelligent woman, which was unheard of in the era she was forged (early 50's). There's something about strong women which is amazingly alluring to me. I can't resist it. I'm almost a groupie. Anyone whom knows Jennifer knows what I'm talking about. I'm a moth to her flame. She's so independant, and witty, and more brilliant than I could ever aspire to be...I'm in paradise. I truly love her. I'd do anything for her.

The motto of today's story: Reading Makes One Sexier

P.S.-I loathe Ashanti's work. Her music is a plague upon humanity. And why is she riding an elephant in her video? Is that supposed to be sexy?

11:24pm: Wow...I might get fired.

Some woman phoned in Hot Topic today with a phoney complaint about me. She accuses me of calling her son "gay". I obviously didn't do so. I have many more words in my arsenal with which to insult someone, than that. I also don't consider homosexuality a negative personality trait. I'd also NEVER, EVER insult anyone at work. There's no point. I absolutely cherish that job, and I'd never do anything to risk losing it, or to risk not getting rehired, during the school year.

I'm so upset...I canceled all of my plans for today, and stayed home, panicking. I slept most of the day (what I usually do when I'm depressed), and spent my waking hours listening to Vendetta Red, and freaking out.

I hope that my fellow employees know me better than that. I know I haven't been working there for long, but I'd like to think that I've built up a pretty good reputation with the lot of them. I know I dig them all. Ian is one of the funniest guys I know, Mike is really intelligent, knows a lot about comics, and is a lot nicer than I first thought, Charlotte has a good taste in music, and a great sense of humor, Allison has an impeccable taste in music and fashion, Lauren is a business wiz, and a really nice person, and all of my fellow "seasonals" seem really energetic, and willing to get along with everyone else.

Jennifer...ah, how that name makes my pulse quicken, and my smile widen, whenever I hear it! Jenn-Jenn is still in a galaxy far, far away (North Carolina). Kyla's parents returned day, though. Thank Gaea! Kyla is an ok chickie, but I don't really trust her to take care of Jennifer if anything happened. You know, like a sars outbreak, or ninja clan invasion, or something.

Speaking of the princess, she isn't feeling well today. I firmly believe that her unsavory diet of pop-tarts, fruit roll-ups, and diet colas has given her scurvy. If she doesn't die, I'm going to buy her sailor's hat, and a pirate. I hope the fact that she's feeling a tad "under the weather" isn't due to the fact that I kept her up all night long, talking.

Yes, talking, you perverts. She's not even home yet. And even if she was home yet.... ::stops talking, in order to preserve any semblance of intelligence, or dignity.::

My wonderful buddy (and Cindy's wonderful girlfriend) got harassed by her ex-boyfriend, today. He wrote some really nasty, and untrue things to her. She doesn't deserve that. She's one of the sweetest people I know, and if I ever meet that guy face to face, I'm going to give him a piece of my mind....right before Cody slaughters with him a "Loisville Slugger", and a rusy razor.

Casey just called me a "lobster". I think she's snorting things, again. Not drugs. Just...things...

I spoke to Steve Salazar again, today. He's a pretty swingin' cat. He and Steph are STILL dating. I'm so proud of those kids. I hope they get married, and have ten babies. They seem quite happy.

I can't think of anything else to write, besided the obligatory "Quote of the day". Heh. the phrase "quote of the day" is in quotes. I like that. Shut up. I'm coo'.

The aforementioned quote of the day:

" Evil Emo Elmo: Noone really needs to exercise. It's a conspiracy. You're just a better worker if you're in shape, so the man forces you to have weird notions of beauty (via the media) to make you into a machine."

6:16am: -= Poems =-
My favorite poem in the whole damn world:

The Waking

I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I feel my fate in what I cannot fear.
I learn by going where I cannot go.

We think by feeling. What is there to know?
I hear my being dance from ear to ear.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.

Of those so close beside me, which are you?
God bless the Ground! I shall walk softly there,
And learn by going where I have to go.

Light takes the Tree, but who can tell us how?
The lowly worm climbs up a winding stair;
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.

Great Nature has another thing to do
To you and me; so take the lively air,
And, lovely, learn by going where to go.

This shaking keeps me steady. I should know.
What falls away is always. And is near.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I learn by going where I have to go.
-- Theodore Roethke

Me:

A Sort of a Song

Let the snake wait under
his weed
and the writing
be of words, slow and quick, sharp
to strike, quiet to wait,
sleepless.
--through metaphor to reconcile
the people and the stones.
Compose. (No ideas
but in things) Invent!
Saxifrage is my flower that splits
the rocks.

-William Carlos Williams

My relationship with Casey:

Desire

in my dreams
I hold my lovers
next to me all at once
and ask them

what was it I desired?

my hands are full
of their heads
like bunches of cut roses
blond hair, brown hair, red, black,
their eyes are pools of bewilderment
staring up at me
from the bouquet

what was it I desired?
I ask again

was it your bodies?
did I hope by draping
your flesh over me
I could escape
boredom
loneliness
gray hairs shooting
towards me
from the future
like thin arrows?
did I think I could escape,
by taking your breath
into my mouth,
did I think I could escape
the responsibility
of breathing?

what did I desire in you?

sex
knowledge?
power?
love?

did I expect the clouds to
crack
and blue moths to fly out of the stars?
did I expect a voice
to call to me
saying
"Here at last is the answer."

what
I yell at them
shaking my lovers
what did I desire in you?

their ears fall off like petals
they shed their faces
in a pile at my feet
their bewildered eyes
pucker and close
centers of fallen flowers

the last face
floats down
circling in the darkness
at my feet

what did I desire in you? I whisper

the stems of their bodies
dry in my hands
-- Mary Mackey

This reminds me of Jennifer:

Everywoman Her Own Theology

I am nailing them up to the cathedral door
Like Martin Luther. Actually, no,
I don't want to resemble that Schmutzkopf
(See Erik Erikson and N.O. Brown
On the Reformer's anal aberrations,
Not to mention his hatred of Jews and peasants),
So I am thumbtacking these ninety-five
Theses to the bulletin board in my kitchen.

My proposals, or should I say requirements,
Include at least one image of a god,
Virile, beard optional, one of a goddess,
Nubile, breast size approximating mine,
One divine baby, one lion, one lamb,
All nude as figs, all dancing wildly,
All shining. Reproducible
In marble, metal, in fact any material.

Ethically, I am looking for
An absolute endorsement of loving-kindness.
No loopholes except maybe mosquitoes.
Virtue and sin will henceforth be discouraged,
Along with suffering and martyrdom.
There will be no concept of infidels,
Consequently the faithful must entertain
Themselves some other way than killing infidels.

And so forth and so on. I understand
This piece of paper is going to be
Spattered with wine one night at a party
And covered over with newer pieces of paper.
That is how it goes with bulletin boards.
Nevertheless it will be there.
Like an invitation, a chalk pentangle,
It will emanate certain vibrations.

If something sacred wants to swoop from the universe
Through a ceiling, and materialize,
Folding its silver wings,
In a kitchen, and bump its chest against mine,
My paper will tell this being where to find me.
-- Alicia Ostriker

Jennifer and My relationship:

touch your face, run fingers down to collarbone
over a pretty white neck
i squeeze you and you are warm
i could squeeze harder and you would not be
you are warm and smell like flowers in the desert
i want to create a new world with these hands, these teeth
your joy is my joy
my world feels open
the wind pours in
i'm on fire


come to me in the night and whisper from the door
i'll start with fits but follow you down the hall
beneath candlemagic and subtlety
become to me the dreamawake in footsteps familiar
touch, turn, ever onward
belief, incandescent insanity

-A.S.B.

5:26am: My mom is not capable of forging healthy relationships. The evidence is as follows:

1.)All of my siblings have chosen to move area codes away from her.
2.) She has been divorced twice
3.) Nick hates her with an intensity which rivals my own, and only stays with her so that he's not alone.
4.)My Aunt (and my mother's sister) Lucy hasn't spoken to her in years.
5.)My cousin Julie has not spoken to her in years.
6.)She has one friend whom she actually likes (and she only speaks to my mother because she is an ex-employee, and feels sorry for her, because she has no other friends.
7.)Her only other friend talks shit about her behind her back (she heard her once, when her friend forgot to click over to her other phone line).
8.) I plan upon never speaking to her again, after I leave the house.
9.)She has no relationships to anyone other than Nick and myself, in Arizona.
10.) She has no childhood acquiantances
11.)She hates herself more than Nick or I ever could. She admitted to me that she has allowed herself to grow so morbidly obese, because it's a slow suicide.

Hopefully, she won't die untill I'm eighteen, so that I can stay here, with Jennifer.

The hard thing is that I really miss my Illinous compatriates. Especially (and pretty exclusively): THE BUCKNER FAMILY. I love everyone one of those crazy cats more than ninety-percent of the members of my own family. Steve and Terri practically raised me. Steve is the kind of man I want to be. I'll always love that guy, and always consider him to be the best man I've ever known. If I had to pick a father, it'd be Steve. And Meghan...what the hell can I say about Meghan? I absolutely adore her. She's easily the best friend I've ever had, and one of (if not the) best person I've ever had the pleasure of investing my time in. If I could pick a new sister, it'd be Meghan. We grew up together, and I'll always be there for me, if she needs me. I love that girl like nobody's business. Nobody's.

Speaking of women whom I'd take a bullet in the heart for, I spoke to Jennifer for a long time, tonight. She never fails to cheer me up...the dork. How am I supposed to be all angst-ridden, and write beautiful emo lyrics, poetry, or scripts, if she's always making me blissful? E-gads, man.

Today is officially Dillon and my day of misogyny. Listen to our conversation, kids. It was as follows:

PapaOffspring099: no i havent but i just dont really know about her anymore
Evil Emo Elmo: She's a sweet girl, but she's kind of manipulative, and weird...you know...like a mom.
PapaOffspring099: i mean shes so awsome and we have so much in commin
Evil Emo Elmo: Yeah, you do.
PapaOffspring099: like more then you know
Evil Emo Elmo: You cats do seem to get along very well.
PapaOffspring099: like she like jazz and swing alot and so do i and i've never met a chick that does to and thats just so cool and stuff like that on common ground
PapaOffspring099: yeah
Evil Emo Elmo: Relationship are hard. Especially the beginnings.
PapaOffspring099: but she is kindof miipulative like she tell me that she'll want to go out but then doesn't know because of matt or someone
PapaOffspring099: well i donno cus i haven't had that many or that last long like you you pimp
Evil Emo Elmo: That is really mean, in my opinion. It bothers me that she plays with your mind so much.
Evil Emo Elmo: I'm no pimp. lol
PapaOffspring099: omg thank you eric
PapaOffspring099: thats what i've been really thinking
PapaOffspring099: someone else see's it!
Evil Emo Elmo: It's like: she knows that you would kill for her, but then she goes and plays around with these dumb, self-centered, loser guys, just for kicks.
Evil Emo Elmo: bleh.
Evil Emo Elmo: Chicks suck.
Evil Emo Elmo: I wish you could chose to be gay. That'd be awesome.
PapaOffspring099: fuck ya
PapaOffspring099: lol i know tha'd be so much easyer but im not so ya know its just harder for me
Evil Emo Elmo: Lol Yep. If I could chose, I'd be a-sexual.
PapaOffspring099: lol yup
PapaOffspring099: like richard simonns
Evil Emo Elmo: The thing about girls is that you have to work really hard to sort out the good ones from the bad. Everyone makes mistakes, though. Hell! I dated Casey for seven months.
Evil Emo Elmo: EXACTLY like Richard simmons.
PapaOffspring099: lol
PapaOffspring099: dude only you can see what i see and put it in words
Evil Emo Elmo: I'm just a fuckin' poet, dude. Heh.
PapaOffspring099: ha yup you sure are edgar
Evil Emo Elmo: I'm just glad that I'm not the only one whose having an "everyone in the world blows" day.
Evil Emo Elmo: Fucking world. Who needs it?
PapaOffspring099: yeah its sort of been been like that for me for about 15 years
PapaOffspring099: i dont know
Evil Emo Elmo: lol
Evil Emo Elmo: God damn, I hate chicks. My mom convinced me that it's her fault that her life sucks earlier, for five minutes.
Evil Emo Elmo: I hate the guilt trip that they can lay on us. It's like they expect us to make their lives easier. Like they popped us out to be slaves.
PapaOffspring099: oh damn dude my mom does that A lot to me
PapaOffspring099: i know my mom accituly says that they have us for life to be easyer for them
Evil Emo Elmo: Lol. That's fucking insane.
Evil Emo Elmo: That's the worst reason to bring a child into this shitty world that I have ever heard of.
PapaOffspring099: i know isnt it funny? i was a mistake but then turned into a punching bag slave
Evil Emo Elmo: Same here, bro.
Evil Emo Elmo: Heh.
PapaOffspring099: well im not as much as a slave other then take some things off the back
PapaOffspring099: yup go us man
Evil Emo Elmo: We should write a song called " accident slave punching bag boys"
Evil Emo Elmo: It'd rock ass.
PapaOffspring099: lol yeah it would
Evil Emo Elmo: "Lois and Clark" is on on channel 30.
PapaOffspring099: he yeah
PapaOffspring099: hell*
PapaOffspring099: oh yeah shes in the bathtub
Evil Emo Elmo: Terri Hatcher is hot, man.
PapaOffspring099: is that her name?
PapaOffspring099: yeah!
Evil Emo Elmo: Yeah!
PapaOffspring099: oh i forgot to end it whit what else happened, i was told we'll see if my attitude improves by school starts or something like that then i had a crap load of crap food from wenersnitchel and watched spider man then came on line and wrote all this crap and had a nice conversation with eric about how women suck. well atleast some women. and now im done and out. good bye i'll not miss you.
PapaOffspring099: i updated my journal because i forgot the ending of the day
Evil Emo Elmo: Lol. I dig it.
PapaOffspring099: i think im gonna go cus i have to do stuff tommorrow
Evil Emo Elmo: We should post this IM in one of our journals.
Evil Emo Elmo: Alright. G'night, G.
PapaOffspring099: yeah thats right i was gonna save it!
Evil Emo Elmo: I'm putting it in my journal. That ok with you?
PapaOffspring099: no prob i think im gonna put lot of it some where like i might print it
Evil Emo Elmo: Lol. Rockin. I always feel better after I've talked to you, homes. Take it easy.
PapaOffspring099: lol thanks man right back at ya
PapaOffspring099: cus ya know i can actually say what i want to say without any worries
Evil Emo Elmo: Of course. I won't lay any guilt shit on ya. Fucking chicks. GO TO SLEEP!
PapaOffspring099: lol ok
PapaOffspring099: just have to saaaaaaaaaveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee(falls asleep on keybord)
Evil Emo Elmo: Lol
Evil Emo Elmo: Silly fucking rabbit.
PapaOffspring099: lol
PapaOffspring099: ok man im out
Evil Emo Elmo: 'bout fucking time.
Evil Emo Elmo: :D
Evil Emo Elmo: Ciao.
PapaOffspring099: call me sometime to hang out
PapaOffspring099: later
Evil Emo Elmo: later.

The only girl we didn't rag on was Terri Hatcher. Heh.

3:34am: -= Well... =-
I had a perfectly good angst-ridden entry to post for you all, untill Jennifer had to call me, and brighten up my day. She's so inconsiderate somtimes....*sheesh*

I attended an "employee only" meeting at Hot Topic today. It was pretty fun. Mike spike on himself three times, out of laughter. Everyone picks on him in an "I love you" kind of way. It's cute. Everyone whom works at Hot Topic (yes, even us lowly "seasonals") attended. We played games which taught us how to work more effectively, and fraternized. Cody got props for being a major pimp, and selling a plethora of merchandise to unsuspecting trendy cats, while they were still trying things on in the dressing room. The invading of privacy is rewarded at Hot Topic. Heh.

In my mind, Cody is definitely going to be rehired, when the school year officially begins. I have no doubt about it. I, on the other hand, am an entirely different story. I HOPE TO GOD that I'm rehired, but, alas, I have not yet perfected the art of bending others to my will. I'm going to have to work my ass off, and show everyone how much I punk rawk. I know that you guys know, but those unfortunate souls whom have not have the priviledge of reading my journal are often slower than your lot, loyal readers.

Today was Jennifer and my two-month anniversary. I would've written about that earlier, but her lack of presence in the same state as me has severely dampered any plans that I may, or may not have, had. Yeah. She called three times, however.! Woo-fucking-hooo!!!!! Seriously; no sarcasm, this time. She's such a sweet-heart. She took time out of her busy vacation schedule to call lil' ol' me, and chat it up. I love that girlie to death. I'm going to put her in a human-sized habitrail when she gets back, so she can never leave my side for so long ever again. Don't tell her though; it's a well-kept secret.

Amanda (the rad girlie whom Jennifer introduced me to) and I got to talk for a little bit tonight, before I initially signed off. I planned to get to sleep, but I instead compiled a list of songs to put on a CD for Jenn-Jenn, refined it, put them in the order I wanted to appear, and then signed on to write this silly little thing. I hope Nick lets me use his CD burner to whip this bad boy up...the fat fuck. If he doesn't, I'll just go to work with my screwdriver, and take the fucker out of the back port of his CPU tower. I'm hardcore. Don't fuck with a geek, man...seriously, now.

I'm going to wear a brown "The Strokes" T-shirt tomorrow, at work. It's really thin, and you can kind of see my nipples through it when the logo is covering them up, though. Heh. It's the cheapest T-shirt ever made. I'm pretty sure it's boot-leg. It's just a paper-thin brown T-shirt with with felt letters spelling out "T-H-E S-T-R-O-K-E-S" on it. Those communist rat-bastards.

Why am I so nervous about my job? Is it because I think my status in the "punk rawk" community is somehow elevated because of where I work? Probably. Am I really that shallow, and insecure? Once again, probably. Jennifer once told me "They wouldn't hire you if they didn't like you, and think that you were good for the job. Do you know how many people apply to work there? There's nothing to worry about". She's my confucious. And she's totally right. Half of my friends bitched me out for getting the job, because they weren't even given applications, when asked. I'm way too fucking greedy. I'm like King Midas. Well, not exactly, but you get what I mean.

Even if I'm not rehired, at least I had the cool-ass experience of working there for the summer, and hopefully made some friends.

Peace, kiddies!

3:58am: -= "I'm not even supposed to be here, today!" =-
I'm watching " Clerks. " right now. If you haven't seen it, then you're an idiot. Bask in your idiocy, and then go rent it. I'm waiting. Don't finish reading this. Go out right now, and fine yourself a copy. If they don't have it at the first rental facility you go to, try another. If they don't have it there, then go to your local Suncoast, and pick it up. Capiche? Now go, you're just wasting time. You were supposed to go three sentences ago, anyway...you fucking cheater.

For the rest of you enlightened children whom have had the pleasure of viewing Kevin Smith's opus:

Hey, hey! Today was super. You know that guy Mike, whom I previously had trouble finding common ground with? I've found it. He's a clost comic book nerd. That explains why he overcompensates by working at a trendy store like Hot Topic, and is obsessed with being "one of the cool kids", and looking down upon those whom listen to bands which he deems less worthy than those in his favor. Hell, that's why I'm doing it.

The crazy cat and I spent about an hour talking about past and present authors of the "Batman" books, and the coloring in Frank Miller's "DK2" book series. Heh. who would've guessed?

Cody worked today, as well. Apparently someone called in sick, and he was already in the store, so they asked him to help out. He's such a lucky fuck. He always seems very overdressed, though. Everyone else whom is employed by Hot Topic comes to work in faded pants, and a "flavour-of-the-month" band T-shirt on. He comes in button-downs, and a tie, with very precisely orchistrated spikes atop his head. I wonder if he uses a protractor. The kid sure does have style....

I sometimes slip into paranoid frenzys, and get insanely jealous over him. I love working at Hot Topic so fucking much. I complain about the constant folding sometimes, but everyone bitches about their job a wee bit. The truth is that I love, and am very proud to be working at, Hot Topic. Cody and I are both "seasonal" employees, which means that we're basically in our "trial run" as Hot Topic employees. Only a certain number of slots are open during the school year. Cody and I are not only competing for those slots, but we're constantly trying to up-stage one another, so that we look better in contrast, and therefore, are hired.

It's Jennifer and my anniversay tomorrow. That's right! Two months, baby! Two months of not getting dumped. No one is more shocked than me, let me tell ya! It's been nothing short of amazing, so far... I'm still genuinely excited when I know I'm going to see her in person. My mother jokes that she can tell when Jennifer calls, because I get a "joker-esque" dopey grin on my face, and scurry off to my room like a grade-school girl. She's incredible. I've never been so emotionally aroused, intellectually stimulated, or happy, in my entire life. I don't just love her; I'm honored that she choses to spend her time with me. I really love this girl... Truly.

There's an employee meeting, tomorrow, from 6:30-8:30 pm. My only suggestion (if asked) is that we capitalize on the current comic book hero craze, and start ordering shirts from "graphitti".

I popped in the "Spider-Man" DVD a few minutes ago. I remember when Jennifer and I watched it together (per her request. I didn't even have to coax her at all. She's so swell.), and we cat-called at the "Mary Jane" character. She's such a playgirl. She plays Peter, Harry, and Spider-Man (Yes, I know Pete and Spidey are one-and-the-same), all at once. Gwen Stacy was so much classier. *sheesh*

Spider-Man is such a great movie. Every kid that ever said "I wish I had super powers" should see it. The trade-off to having superhuman abilities is way too threatening. It means living a life of emotional solitude, incredibly hard choices, and getting the shit kicked out of you by power-hungry psychopaths. If I had to chose the life of any super-hero, I'd be either Neo, from "The Matrix" (whose power's force him to evolve intellectually, in order to strengthen them, and who is actually a hero to the masses of zion), or The Green Arrow's Buddhist son "Conner" (whom fights crime anonymously, and without selfish desire for recognition, or power). You know, in case you were wondering. Heh.

And on that note, goodnight.

3:57am: -=Test I recently took=-
Full Name: Eric Michael Esquivel
Birthdate: Feb. 10th, 1987


Righty or lefty: LEFTY!!!!*****Your Looks*****
~Hair Color: Brown ~Eye Color: Brown, with a hint of bottomless angst
~Height: five feet, and eight inches...I think. Hell if I know. *cough* Existential, meaningless bullshit *cough* Heh.
~Do you wear contacts or glasses: Neither. The lazer beams would melt them, and render my eyes completely useless...like that one time I cooked a pizza with the plastic wrap still on it.
~Do you have any piercings: Not yet. I'm debating upon whether I should get either my eyebrow, or lip, pierced. I'm proud to be the only fully intact Hot Topic employee, thank you very much.

~Do you wear any rings: Only the one issued by the Green Lantern Corps. Dillon, you know what I'm talking about. Yeah, you do. Don't lie....fucking nerd.
~What shoes do you have on: None. I'm just like a monkey. Not because of the shoes; because of the prehinsle "tail". Dillon, again, you know what I'm talking about. Remember that night we got drunk in Chicago. Yeah, you do...kinkster.

~~~~~Just Lately~~~~~

~How are you today: Pissy.~What pants are you wearing: "The Incredible Hulk" tie-string PJ pants.
~What shirt are you wearing: A white (very "tourista") T-shirt, with the Kokopelli deity on it, and the word "ARI-FUCKING-ZONA" printed upon it.

~What does your hair look like at the moment: Disheveled
~What song are you listening to right now: I'm watching Kevin Smith's "Clerks." flick. The song "Chewbacca: What a wookie!" just finished playing. Best...soundtrack...ever...

New~What was the last thing you ate: A corse-cold slice of pizza.

~How is the weather right now: It's Arizona...it's fucking warm.~The last person you talked to on the phone: Jennifer Ashely "mother fucking" Goff.
*~*~*~*~*~More About You~*~*~*~*~*
~What are the last four digits of your phone #: 3825(F-U-C-K) Go on. Check it. I did my homework.
~If you were a crayon what color would you be?: "stoner's faded black jeans"-remember, cody?
~Have you ever almost died: One time, Cody and I were gettin' it on, and he slipped on some lotion that spilled on the floor, mid-pump...it was horrendous.
~Do you like the person that sent this to you as a friend?: Bet your ass.
~Anything more than a friend?: Well, if she's good enough for Cody...lol, just kidding Cinderella. Everyone know's I'm retarted over Jenn-Jenn, anyway.
~What's the next CD you are going to buy: I just bought "The Sounds" most recent cd....I'm thinking of picking up the most recent CDs put out by :Phantom planet, Cave in, Thrice, Electric six, Die Trying, Liam Lynch, and the mooney suzuki...being employed is awesome.
~What was the best advice ever given to you:? Don't kill yourself over me
~Have you ever won any special awards: I won a "DC HEROCLIX" tournament, at the "Things for Thinkers" comics and games shop, once. I was also a local "Magic: The Gathering" card game champion, back home. Don't judge me, asshole.
~Drugs: I'm really boring. I don't eat meat, do drugs, smoke, or drink. I'm big into orgies, sodomy, and human sacrifices to baphomet, though.

~What sport do you hate the most: Don't make me chose.
~How many TV's do you have in your house: Three...I know. I'm sad, too.
~Do you have your own phone line: Yes. It's red, and the only one whom has the number is commisioner Gordan. Dillon, you're the only one who's going to get this entire fucking thing...damnit.
~Do you sleep with stuffed animals: I used to call Cody "my little stuffed animal". Heh.
~Place for a dream house: Krypton. Gotham. Metropolis. Star City. Central City.
~Have you ever sprained/broken/fractured a bone: No. Seriously. No smart-ass shit, this time. I'm just like that guy from "Unbreakable". EXACTLY like him.

~Who do you tell your dreams to: Jennifer, 'cause they're all about her. No; not always naked. Alright...always naked. ~*~*~*~*~Just Questions~*~*~*~*~
Is cheerleading a sport?: Definitely. I wish I had that kind of dexterity.
How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie: All I can think of is that lil' Kim song, by the same title. Heh.
~Which came first the chicken or the egg?: You cats trying to give me a brain aneurysm? *sheesh*


****You and Love****
Do you believe in love: Yeah. The minute it pains you to be away from someone, you're in love. Love is not convenient, and it's anything but romantic, most of the time. It's a lot of hard work, and it's completely worth every iota of effort put into it.
Do you believe in love at first sight?: No. That entire notion is absolutely absurd. If love was as simple as that, it'd be a lot easier.
~Do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend: I'm lucky enough to be dating the most interesting woman I've ever met...and yes, guys; she is a cutey, too...trust me! :D
Does your crush like you: Well, she did take drama...
Who is your crush:Jennifer "Champion of the Proletariat" Goff.
~What song do you want played at your wedding?: "Closer", by Nine Inch Nails
~Are you too shy to ask someone out?: I'm usually not with most felines, but I sure as hell was with Jennifer. Even I know she's too good for me. I sure as hell hope she never finds out, though. Heh.

~~~~~GIRLS FILL OUT ONLY~~~~~
Boxers or Briefs:
Curly or straight:
Six pack or muscular arms: six-pack
Good or Bad Boy:
Either Hat or no hat:
Ears pierced or not:
Tan or fair:
Dimples:
Stubble or clean shaven:
Glasses:
What sport should he play:



~~~~~GUYS FILL OUT ONLY~~~~~
Regular or thong undies: None.

Painted nails or not: What color?

Bra or no bra: Cute bra.

Bra straps showing or not showing: Not showing. I'm over my whore phase. Heh.

Cute and mysterious or wild and sexy: "Cute and mysterious" girls are often "wild and sexy" when you get to know them a little better...especially when exposed to the right stimulus. I love the nine inch nails... *SQUEE*

dressy or casual: Depends upon the occasion. Funeral-goers often scoff at blue jeans.

Curly or Straight hair: I could not possibly care less.

Dark, light, or cool and crazy eyes: Really, I don't care. I giggle at people whom alter their eye color with contacts, though.

Long or short nails: Fake nails bother me profusely.

Hat or no hat: Deponds upon the hat.

Hair up or down: Depends upon the occasion, again. For instance, when my girlfriend is puking her guts out to conform to my obscene beauty standards, she should wear it back, to avoid geting intestinal refuse in her shiny locks.

Jewelry or not: I like Jennifer's "Palm Tree" *cough* marijuana *cough* ear rings...

Tall or short: I don't care. They both have their advantages. Heh.

Accent or no accent: If they can look past my mumbling, I can look past their accent.

Pants or dress: Either one worn all of the time is boring. I really dig skirts and dresses, though. Jennifer's classy style in in direct contrast with my dirty blue jeans, and comic book protagonist T-shirts, usually. Heh.

Tan or fair: We all bleed the same, brother.

Pick This or That
Lights on/off : dimmed. Hah! I win.
Do you like snow, sun, or rain: Plain old rain. Not acid rain...that's bad for the shoes.
Backstreet Boys or NSync : Even I'd fuck Justin Timberlake.
Summer or winter: Perpetual summer (good thing we moved to Arizona, huh?).
CD or tape: Compact disk.
Chocolate or white milk: White soy milk
Mud or Jell-O wrestling: Good old earthly mud. All natural.
Skiing or boarding: Napping.
Cake or pie: Cake
Sunset or sunrise: sunset*~Have You Ever~*
Loved someone so much it made you cry: yes.
Smoked: Only pole.
Broke the law: Only curfew, and copyright infringement laws. I'm such a pirate... A hardcore pirate. Yeah.
Made yourself cry to get out of trouble: Disgusting.
Do you want your friends to send this back: Yeah. I wasted an hour of my time on this shit. They better at least acknowledge it.