monday mornings are bitter sweet just like the coffee in your cup -

my heart is a little too demanding
i need a second sunday so i can be with you
im gonna go tell monday this is something ive got to do

[1st September 2003! !04:33]
[ mood | upset ]

andy broke up with me. yeah. im sure all of you knew we were even going out.

i packed up all my things and we said goodbye and i left. i dont know where im going. i went home and my mother told me she didn't want me to be there. she said the house is already to crowded with jen, john, and matt. so . . im out on my own yet again. it wont be that bad . . . *shrugs* i just want a real reason from andy on why he broke it off. . .

xoxo erin

monday over

[28th August 2003! !10:01]
[ mood | sing-along-ish ]
[ music | second sunday - jessica andrews ]

I got a new layout. You think it's sexy. Don't deny it. Anyways . . the lyrics are from a Jessica Andrews song. Second Sunday. Here are the lyrics.

( sometimes love just needs a second sunday . .  )

Yes. It's my new obsession song. You love it. Download it.

xoxoxo erin

monday over

[28th August 2003! !05:29]
[ mood | smiley ]
[ music | so yesterday - hilary duff ]

I just got done sun bathing again. I'm starting to get really dark . . it's about time. . once I get tan I'm going to have to dye my hair again stay out of the sun for a little while. I've been getting to know some of the new people. They're so nice. Kirsten just makes me smile so much. She is the sweetest girl. She's so nice . . I'm definetly going to be getting to know her better. I have a feeling that we could become great friends. And Hilary, she just makes me laugh so hard. We'll be having a normal . . completely normal . . conversation. And we'll just start laughing because of the things that we say. It's so great, I love talking to her. *laughs*

I need to go buy the Hilary Duff CD. Who has that CD ? . . I haven't even heard any of the tracks that's going to be on it but So Yesterday I think ? Heck, I don't even know what the track listing is. Knowing me I've heard half of them. Haha. Oh well . .

Better update later. Promise. With a possible new layout. Considering I just made myself 5 hot new icons. *smiles*

xoxoxoxo erin

1 have screwed monday over

[27th August 2003! !07:08]
Hehe. How are you guys ? I'm good . . things have been getting better. Like I thought that they would. I love living at Andys house. There is SO much to do there. But I usually just keep myself locked up in my room. I don't want to bother them or anything. It's there house, and I respect that.

I am curious to move out and get an apartment though. I'm 17 years old . . I'm going to be 18 in November. I need to start taking responsiblity and not relying on my boyfriends for everything. I relyed on Drake for our house before. For, basically, all of our income. And that wasnt right. I screwed myself over when we broke up. And now I don't want to have that happen again. I know that it wont happen because my current boyfriend now is younger than I am, and there is no chance that he will be living with me anytime soon, seeing how I am living with him.

Yes. This is correct. I am dating Andy. Do you have a problem ? He happens to be a very sweet guy. I'm very happy being with him. And I hope that you guys can understand. I don't know why you wouldnt, but still . .

So yeah . .I think I'm going to go lay down by the pool or something.

xoxoxo erin
monday over

[25th August 2003! !03:09]
Andy Lawrence is SUCH a sweetie. He thinks that girls peeing their pants is not SEXY! I drove him to Wendys last night and he bought the food . . and I found a fry on the floor and threw it at him. And it hit him. And he ate it. And I laughed till I cried. Drake never made me laugh till I cried. He never made me laugh at all, besides when he made me really nervous . . . . then we got in a discussion . . and now I'm moving into Andys house temporarily, into one of his brothers old bedrooms . . because I had nowhere else to go at the moment . . things will get better though . . .

xoxoxo erin
2 have screwed monday over

im back. [23rd August 2003! !07:07]
Hi kiddies. I'm back!

[Im going to still take the story line with drake bell . . but i'm going to have erin move out of his house . .and give the ring back .. and move on. . okay?]

Things have been SO incredibly bumpy lately you would not believe it. Drake and I had a HUGE blow out fight . . and I threw the ring back at him and left him. I have NO intentions of going back to him at ALL. I have to say though, that I'm not as upset as I thought I would be. I think I could even start dating again . . *hint hint hint* . . I'll tell you more later . .

xoxoxo erin
monday over

I'm Hilary Duff . . hee [10th August 2003! !01:22]
[ mood | hilary duff-ish ]
[ music | so yesterday - hilary duff. . <3 ]

HASH(0x83d1514)
You are HiLARY DUFF. And I'm jealous. The end.


Which Barely_Legal FEMALE Whore Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Cool <3 I like hilary. I want to be in the female whore quiz . . *begs* Haha

xoxoxo erin

2 have screwed monday over

inactive. [7th August 2003! !03:00]
hey guys, i might be inactive for the next couple of days . .. AKA : thursday, friday, saturday, sunday . . . because my best friend is moving. and she's having a sleepover tonight and im spending the weekend with her . . so yeah. i'll be online and stuff sometimes i just might be active on blurty
monday over

[6th August 2003! !07:49]
[ mood | childish ]

I've been setting here thinking. I need to stop . . thinking. *laughs* Okay, not stop thinking completely. But I always seem to be thinking about my relationship with Drake. I'm ALWAYS bouncing thoughts around in my head about it. And I was thinking today, we totally skipped the 'get to know me' part of our relationship. Usually there's like .. a 6 month period where you date. Go to concerts, go shopping together .. dinner. We totally SKIPPED that! We went from meeting . . to moving in with each other. Maybe I just feel like I don't know him that well . . . He told me that he was sorry for never being around very much. And he was going to try and be around more. So far I've seen no change *sighs* Oh well.

I think I just want to go back to dating . . before we get married. I want to act like a teenager and giggle with my girlfriends and talk about . . shoes. And worrying about my hair and my makeup . . not about when I'm going to get married or when I want to have kids. . . I want to be 17

xoxox - erin

1 have screwed monday over

[4th August 2003! !11:42]
[ mood | happy ]
[ music | naked mole rap ]

Hee. I haven't updated in a long time . .

CONGRAGULATIONS FRANKIE + LIBBY YAYY FOR GETTING MARRIED!

Okay, lately I've been in a way better mood than usual . . I don't know. That's wierd . . to have a sudden change of mood like that. I haven't really been up to much, just hanging out with Angie alot. We talked about taking a girls vacation get away to Hawaii. But we never went . .I still think that we should go . . *shrugs* I'll talk to her about it . .

xoxoxo - erin

2 have screwed monday over

[31st July 2003! !02:31]
[ mood | wanting to take a vacation ]
[ music | timeless - kelly and justin ]

I talked to some people last night. Got some thoughts organized . . I bounce around thoughts in my mind so much it's not even funny. It's driving me literally crazy not having anything to do. I cannot wait until No Secrets actually starts to do something again. Maybe I need a vacation all to myself . . that sounds like SUCH a good idea . . . maybe I'll bring Angel Faith . . I could take a mini one and be back in time for Libby wedding . . *shrugs* I don't know . . better update later. Promise

xoxoxo - erin

3 have screwed monday over

bored. lonely. and tired. [28th July 2003! !10:14]
[ mood | depressed ]

I am . . going to pass out I am so tired. I've been staying up practically everynight till 2 AM waiting for Drake to get home, and he's still never been home while I've been up. This is ridiculous . . How am I supposed to marry someone I never see ? *takes the ring off her finger. sets it on the table* Tell me the answer to that and I'll put that back on my finger. *stares at it* Maybe I just shouldn't get married at all

I seriously need to make a list of pro's and cons of getting married . . . *sighs and sets down to write them*

( Pros . .  )

( Cons . .  )

*starts crying a little* I am so messed up right now . . I just don't know anymore . . *puts head on computer desk and cries*

monday over

[27th July 2003! !02:25]
So, alot has happened. Well . . kind of.

Last night Drake came home for a little while. It was so great. I love it when he comes home just to see me . . *laughs* And we just set around doing nothing but being together. Cuddling and kissing haha It's what I live for, or something. Anyways . . He had to go back to work. And he said if he got home early enough he'd make it up to me. But yeah, I waited till 1:30 am for him, and he wasn't home. So I went to bed *shrugs* Oh well. People were playing strip dice. Haha. I played. And I ended up STILL being fully clothed at the end. LOTS of people were naked though. I covered my eyes alot.

Angel Faith is moving in with Drake and I. I know that I haven't asked you Drake but this is important to me . . . we'll talk about it later okay ?

xoxoxo - erin
monday over

[21st July 2003! !10:07]
things have been so good lately. i got ALL of my bridal dress shopping done . . you have no idea what kind of a relief it is to have that worry off of my shoulders. I'm still a little worried though . . I mean, what if I back out .. it's crossed my mind .. alot

Anyways . . I've been hanging out alot with Angel . . she got really mad at me last night for some reason. I hope that she's over it . I HATE it when she's mad at me . . we were just playing an innocent joke on her mom about us going and getting married to our boyfriends and then she got mad for some .. . reason. *sighs* I don't know . . Maybe I'll buy her something . . That always make me feel better . .

Anyways . . I should probably go . .
2 have screwed monday over

[19th July 2003! !03:51]
[ mood | thankful ]
[ music | the rugrats theme song ]

*sighs* So much happened last night . . I don't even want to get into it really.

But before all of that . . stuff . . happened . . I asked Angel to be my maid of honor at my wedding. And she agreed. That just made my night . . I have 3 other girls to ask to be my brides maids . .they probably know who they are *smiles* When Angel gets out of the hospital I want her to go and help me pick out the wedding dress. And I want her to wear a different dress than the rest of the brides maids. I don't know if that's a usual wedding thing or not. . . it may just be my thing ? I don't know . . *shrugs*

a song for angel . . ( i'll remember you )

yeah. it's sappy. we sang it. so what ? its a good song . .I think I might start putting a song in every one of my updates. Yeah . . whatever hehe.

xoxoxxo - erin

1 have screwed monday over

[18th July 2003! !08:49]
[ mood | sappy ]
[ music | baby it works for me - no secrets ]

I love this song ... it's one of our songs that wasn't released on our CD ...

( baby it works for me . . )

All of the leads are by Angel . . I admire her vocals . . *nods*

Anyways, I got out today . .I've just been chilling at home. I think I want to have someone come stay with me for a few days . . . I'll ask Angel or something *shrugs* Libby made me new icons. I love them. Thank you libby :-* <3

xoxoxo-erin

monday over

[17th July 2003! !11:53]
[ mood | sympathetic ]
[ music | the tide is high - atomic kitten ]

. . so I was supposed to be released today. But the doctors are stupid and none of them would sign me out. Oh well . . *shrugs*

Faye had her baby. I'm so happy for her . . We're in the same hospital . . which is kind of cool. *nods* We're going to have a kind of 'sleepover'. Who cares what the doctors think. We're both moms . . technically. . so we have alot to talk about ! No ? Yes we do. I want to see Alyssa. . but Faye told me she was in ICU. She'll be fine . . I'll pray for her.

*sighs* I'll update more tomorrow . . maybe when I'm home . . actually.

xoxoxo-erin

2 have screwed monday over

[16th July 2003! !12:38]
[ mood | terrified and sad ]
[ music | beeps in the hospital ]

*wakes up, is in the hospital, in pain*

Well . . I'm not going to write much . . but I'm getting married . . and I lost my baby . . we named it before we lost it though. Amanda Angel Bell . . . just so that we could say she's real. That she was actually ours. While I was still in the ambulance I thought that we should name her . . and Drake thought we should name her Amanda . . after Amanda Bynes. Because she talked him into talking to me. And then I made the middle name Angel from Angel faith . . .*sighs*

I'm in some pain right now . . so I'll just . . go.

2 have screwed monday over

[15th July 2003! !09:25]
[ mood | positive ]
[ music | its alright - US ! <33 ]

Hm . .I am so bored. So lately . . Brittany Hargest and I have been getting to be pretty good friends. She is kinda young, but she has been SUCH a huge help with everything.

Yesterday she went shopping with me for paint for the babies room. And we she helped me pick it out. The main part of the wall is this . . .kind . . lightish-brightish pink. It's hard to explain. And then the border is a bright purple. With light yellow stars on it. It is so cute. I am like in love with the nursery.

So then, today we were bored. And decided that we wanted to work on the babies room some more. So I went baby furniture shopping. And I think I bought all of the main furniture . . I bought a cradle, crib, rocker, and changing table. They're all in wood . . that is painted white. *laughs* But yeah . . The people at the store delivered it for me and Brittany and I arranged it.

But then my parents made a very unexpected visit. They said that we would talk more when Drake was home. *makes a face* I didn't tell them that I was. . yanno. And they stopped by to see the house. And when they got an eyeful of my stomache my mom nearly passed out I think, and my dad just lost it. My mom lifted up like . . the bottom part of my shirt and just stared at my stomache. Which was extremely uncalled for if I do say so myself. . it's not fair. They shouldn't care if I am or not . . I don't live with them anymore. It's not going to affect them. It's not like they're going to be the ones staying up at night making sure she's okay . .

Anyways, before I get all stressed out . .I know that they've been fighting. They've been fighting ALOT. Mom called me up on the phone the other day and dad screamed at her the whole entire time. *shrugs* Hopefully they'll patch things up. No matter how much I dis-like them they're my parents . . Oh well.

I've been thinking of names . . And since we know it's a girl now . . I've mainly been thinking of female names. I'm like, in LOVE with L names. How crazy is that ? Here's a list of the ones that I like :

Lexinne Constance Bell - Lindsay Olivia Bell - Lydia Marie Bell - Lexis Angel Bell . . . names like that. But of course, if Drake has one that he likes alot better . . . then we'll use that. Her name really doesn't matter . . . just as long as she's healthy. And happy. *nods*

Angel wants me to put Angel in her name . . *laughs* Go figure. *winks* It could happen . . maybe Angie or something . . *shrugs* We'll be thinking of you Angel .. Haha.

xoxoxoxo - erin

3 have screwed monday over

[14th July 2003! !01:41]
[ mood | explanitory ]
[ music | 3 wooden crosses - randy travis ]

[alright. im not trying to turn erin into a drama queen . . but this is how it's going to go down. seeing how my parents are getting divorced and im having a very hard time dealing with this, there's a way that i thought i could kind of . . help me get through it. put it in one of my characters story lines. so . .this is how it's going to go down. seeing how shay doesn't really want a baby boom going on right now . . haha. erin is pregnant right now. but when a person gets so stressed out, and they're pregnant, the stress can kill the unborn baby. so . . erins parents are going to get divorced. and that's going to stress her out so much that she's going to lose her baby. okay ? alright . . haha]

EDIT / [alright. haha .. . just pretend that erin and drake did it awhile ago . . because . . .she's going to be . .3-4 months pregnant right now . . . so that she can know what she's having. alright ? alright . . haha works for me. so . . 'it' happened awhile ago :) ]

*sighs*

My life . . is getting to be so complicated lately. *sighs again* I don't even know where to start this entry at. I guess that I should just tell everyone flat out that i am pregnant. I don't feel proud of what I've done. I can't say that I'm exactly happy that I am pregnant. But, flat out I just am. It's Drakes, for all of you that are wondering. And yes I am 100 percent sure. Absolutely. We've talked, and he's actually happy about it. Which I guess makes me happy. I'm going to have a family of my own. That just sends . .creepy shivers down my spine. I don't even know how to react to that when I say it. Or when he says it.

Jen is kind of upset over it I think. Her younger sister, is having a family. She thinks it's wrong. . and I got reamed up and down over it when I told her. Actually, she was with me when I found out. She's the one who went in and bought the first test for me. Incase I had some fans inside or something, they wouldn't get all suspicious. But I went home and took it and it was positive. And I just freaked out. I threw the test and drove like a maniac back to the store and bought four more tests. And they were all positive too. I'm almost afraid to go to a doctor and see if I am for sure. To see how far along I am. But I know that I'm going to have to. I'm going to make the appointment today.

If I am I hope that I can be as good a mother as Libby. I've talked to her about this. And she's helped me alot. Libby, Angel, and Jen all talked me into telling Drake. I wasn't going too. I was so afraid that he was going to be mad at me. That he was going to want to leave me because he was only in our relationship when it was going to involve the two of us. I should have known better than that though. He's going to stick with me all the way. Help me out with everything. I just hope that we can be as close knit of a family as Libby and Frankie and Reese is. It seems that they're inseperable. Which, You could probably say that Drake and I are right now. But his work keeps him away so much . . but that's okay. It's asking alot to ask him to give up what he loves. And I'm not going to do it.

Well.. that would be the reason why I had 'the flu' you guys. .

xoxoxox - erin

4 have screwed monday over

. when i look in your eyes .
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