| * If you're gone. . Then leave. Dont let me hope!! Make it for real * |
[18 Jun 2003|03:42am] |
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mood |
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Dead * |
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music |
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Our lady Peace -- §ùmwhere øùt there * |
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Its offical. . I hate guys!!
Its been hell with them! They dont care about you, or your feelings, or anything. Its all about them! Its always all about them! I cant stand it anymore. Im about ready to jus give up on them for alittle bit! Because, they act like its nothing. They dont know, nor do they care, how much they really hurt me at times. A lot of them need to take sum time to focus on things other than themselves for a little bit!! If you're not exactly what they want, then they dont want you. If you not lil miss perfect hoe. Then you're not good enough for them, "Sorry, Moving on".. They Kill Me!! I seriously cannot stand it anymore!
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An' I mean now. . Its like me an' him, never had anything. If I didnt know better, I would think we never dated, we never even knew each other! How can people jus forget you so fast. Llike you were never there, an' you never meant anything to them. After all the sweet things he said, Its all of a sudden over with, An' all he wants is me outta his life. I dont understand him. That was the third time breaking up. I guess the third time really is a charm.. For him! The third time killed me, Wether he likes it or not, he killed me. Theres seriously a part of me that isnt living anymore. An' theres a part of me thats saying "He loves you, hes gonna cum back, jus give him time. . True love doesnt ever die. Jus wait, its all gonna come together". . But the reality hits me. . An' its sayin' "Looky Erika, Its been more than a month. If he loved you, he would have came back by now. . You need to suck it up. Quit your crying an' be strong. It doesnt bother him, it makes him happy to see you cry, because he got what he wanted from you. An' now hes done! So grow up an' face it.. ITS OVER!!!!!!". . To me, it seems like we're still meant to be together. I mean Findin' out you're not right for sumone, doesnt change how you feel. . It makes you want them even more!! An' everyone is tellin' me I could do better, I dont need him, An' I need to move on. . Well, they dont understand. Obviously, they've never lost sumone that they truly loved!! Its so scary for me now, to know hes not there for me. I mean every day for the past 11 monthes, I could count on him to always be there. . To be able to tell him anything, an' for him to always understand, or at least act like he did. Every day, I miss him even more. I never thought I'd feel like this. There was really sumthin special about him. But now, thats all gone an' all of sudden we're "Friends". . With me tryin to hide the fact that I would give ANYTHING to go back.. I would do it all over again! If only we were garanteed a second chance.. . But, thats how life works, You've gota learn from you mistakes. . So far, He was my favorite mistale =)) . . Always will be. . But, wait theres one thing Ive learned. . Never say always. . It doesnt exist. . Go ahead, pretend it does. . Why dont you jus go ahead an throw forever into it too. . Neither are real. . You'll only end up gettin hurt. . Or killed, But lemme tell ya, even though you're dead. You still feel the pain jsu as bad.. If not worse!! Thats it. . Im done.. Im over with. . Im dead --
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