Friends Blurty for un erbana.
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Friday, October 31st, 2014

Time:5:24 am.

"The sad thing is that Kent Hovind and ignorant people like them are never held accountable for destroying the minds of their children. They take a young mind, capable of wonders, and fill it with ignorance and defense mechanisms against the intrusion of reality. It's an epecially terrible thing to do to anyone." -- Jeff (commenter at Pharyngula), 2008-06-27

[The scariest quote I already had lying around in my quotes file. Happy Hallowe'en!]

Comments: appease my failing soul.

Thursday, October 30th, 2014

Time:5:24 am.

"But surely a man like Curmudgeon could not be so self-assured and still be as wholly wrong as he appared. But surely-- There were too many sureties, and Hake didn't really feel any of them. How was it possible that everybody in the world seemed absolutely sure they were in the right, when they all disagreed with each other, and when Hake felt nothing of the sort?" -- Frederik Pohl, The Cool War (1979, Del Rey / Ballantine Books, New York)

Comments: appease my failing soul.

Wednesday, October 29th, 2014

Subject:the sword and the hatchet
Time:7:40 pm.
Music:The Sword.
Life is how you see it.

On one hand, I got accused of blowing up an engine.

On the other hand, I get to live comfortably in this place and I get to have friends. Friends like you guys.

Life is how you see it.
I would be so good at focusing on the bad shit. It's too easy.

But I still have the ability to focus on the bigger, better picture.

Look at all that good stuff around me.

I'm still trying.

I'm still doing the best I can to hold on to that good. To be better. Think better.

It scares me sometimes that I still every now and again think about putting a gun to my head.

But I'm fighting.

I am fighting goddamn it.

I have learned how to stand my ground.
Comments: appease my failing soul.

erbana minus the l.
Time:10:35 am.'s been a minute.

not in dog years.
but in like book of genesis years.

where a minute means a year.
and days mean decades.'s been a minute. a good minute.

all around.

and it wasn't void.
not black.

I just didn't own a clock.

so...'s been a minute.
Comments: appease my failing soul.

Time:9:43 am.
People change. Times change. Things change. Places change. For bad or for better, you can never tell. Life is a tumultuous sea of drifting sand of which the dunes transform and disappear where they once stood or appear where they never seemed to be. In the desert the hearts of people beat in a rhythm of desperate solitary survival. And though they were meant for more than that, most cannot see past their present dilemma. What does survival mean anyway? It's primal and selfish, cuthroat and existential. Just because one survives doesn't mean that one is fully alive.

I stand on the rock.
Comments: 1 tried to - appease my failing soul.

Time:5:24 am.

"Music is nothing else but wild sounds civilised into time and tune." -- Thomas Fuller (b. 1608, d. 1661-08-16)

Comments: appease my failing soul.

Tuesday, October 28th, 2014

Time:5:24 am.

"Sometimes I wonder if we shall ever grow up in our politics and say definite things which mean something, or whether we shall always go on using generalities to which everyone can subscribe, and which mean very little." -- Eleanor Roosevelt (b. 1884-10-11, d. 1962-11-07), My Day (newspaper column) 1940-07-1

[To all proud Greeks and descendents of Greek expatriates, happy (and proud) Ohi Day! (For folks who want to Google that, it's also spelled Ochi Day.)

Comments: appease my failing soul.

Monday, October 27th, 2014

Time:5:24 am.

"I feel like the biggest success of movement conservatism since Nixon/Reagan wasn't the rise of the right, it was killing the left. Nowadays, even among people who are furious at Wall Street, Republicans and the rest of the system, there are plenty who are equally disillusioned with or suspicious of the federal government, organized labor, et al - people who don't buy the idea of 'trickle down' or 'conservatism will make us all rich,' but also don't think there's much the government or unions can do about it, and they'll probably just make it worse if they try. There's Movement Conservatism By True Faith, and then there's Movement Conservatism By Resignation." -- commenter Chris at Balloon Juice, 2014-10-17 (thanks to [info] realinterrobang for quoting this earlier)

Comments: appease my failing soul.

Sunday, October 26th, 2014

Time:5:24 am.

From the Quotation of the day mailing list, 2014-10-08:

"Our alienation from the land, our inoculation against disease, our cultivated fear of hot things, sharp things, fast things -- things, to put it another way -- have given most of us a blessed distance from the cliff's edge. But they've also made us hungry for the thrill of the waves pounding below; for experience, for the real thing, for Truth. If we don't get it, then we'll settle for Authenticity, a distant cousin of Truth who conveniently accepts Paypal." -- Hugh Laurie, from the liner notes to his album "Didn't It Rain".

(submitted to the mailing list by Terry Labach)

Comments: appease my failing soul.

Saturday, October 25th, 2014

Time:5:24 am.

"I thought 'eureka' was Greek for 'the bath water is too hot.'" -- lots of people apparently, based on skimming Google hits for the phrase, but most recently by Mephistopheles O'Brien, commeter at Respectful Insolence, as recently noted by [info] realinterrobang

Comments: appease my failing soul.

Friday, October 24th, 2014

Subject:how my week went...
Time:6:02 pm.
Mood: creative.
Sunday evening I bought a pink DVD\CD player, 4 DVDs, and a "Hello Kitty" alarm clock.
Monday evening I talked to Natasha on the phone and wrote a letter to her I will never send.
Tuesday evening I thought I was going to meet Ruben at "FroYo" but didn't, however, I did get to go to the last class of "Peer to Peer" and have pizza and get my diploma.
Wednesday evening, I did meet Ruben and we walked around downtown and he bought me some groceriecs, and played "Scrabble."
Thursday evening, I went grocery shopping myself, and meet Ruben again and baked some cookies for him and went to pick up some pizza with him.
This evening, I picked up Chris and we went to the mall where I returned the "Hello Kitty" alarm clock, and shared some Chinese with Chris ("Panda Express") and ate a slice of cookie!
Comments: appease my failing soul.

Time:5:24 am.

[Scroll down to the bold text for the bumper-sticker version.]

"We read that the nails in the holy of holies, 2 Chron. iii. 8 and 9, were of fine gold. Hence ariseth a question, How such nails could be useful, pure gold being so flexible that a nail made thereof will bow, and not drive.

"Now, I was present at the debate thereof, betwixt the best working-goldsmiths in London, where, among many injenious answers, this carried away the credit for the greatest probability thereof, viz., that they were screw nails, which had holes prepared for their reception, and so were wound in by degrees.

"God's work must not be done lazily, but leisurely: haste maketh waste in this kind. In reformations of great importance, the violent driving in of the nail will either break the head, or bow the point thereof, or rive and split that which should be fastened therewith.

"That may insensibly be screwed, which cannot suddenly be knocked into people. Fair and softly goeth far; but alas! we have too many fiery spirits, who, with Jehu, drive on so furiously they will overturn all in church and state, if their fierceness be not seasonably retrenched."

-- Thomas Fuller (b. 1608, d. 1661-08-16), in Mixt Contemplations in Better Times (1660, "Printed by R.D. for Iohn Williams", London) [bold emphasis added --dglenn] It can be found online in a collection of some of Fuller's work, Good Thoughts in Bad Times and Other Papers, also visible in Google Books, Record of Christian Work, vol. 19 (I found it quoted in God's Secretaries: The Making of the King James Bible by Adam Nicolson.) There are minor differences in spelling in diferent collections/editions.

Happt birthday to [info] - personal fidhle, and to my brother John, neither of whom today's quotation is meant to have anything in particular to do with -- I just thought it sounded like a good quotation for a Friday.

Comments: appease my failing soul.

Thursday, October 23rd, 2014

Subject:This week at the office has just been brutal.
Time:10:49 pm.
Find a staffing agency in San Diego. Get a PT job that pays better.

In the meantime, SLEEP.


PS Getting married costs a small fortune. Wow.
Comments: appease my failing soul.

Time:8:21 am.
enfp - description

ENFPs are warm, enthusiastic people, typically very bright and full of potential. They live in the world of possibilities, and can become very passionate and excited about things. Their enthusiasm lends them the ability to inspire and motivate others, more so than we see in other types. They can talk their way in or out of anything. They love life, seeing it as a special gift, and strive to make the most out of it.

ENFPs have an unusually broad range of skills and talents. They are good at most things that interest them. Project-oriented, they may go through several different careers during their lifetime. To onlookers, the ENFP may seem directionless and without purpose, but ENFPs are actually quite consistent. They have a strong sense of values which they live with throughout their life. Everything that they do must be in line with their values. They see meaning in everything, and are on a continuous quest to adapt their life and values to achieve inner peace. They're constantly aware and somewhat fearful of losing touch with themselves. Since emotional excitement is usually an important part of the ENFP's life, and because they are focused on keeping "centered", the ENFP is usually an intense individual, with highly evolved values.

An ENFP needs to focus on following through with their projects. This can be a problem area for some of these individuals. Unlike other Extroverted types, ENFPs need time alone to center themselves, and make sure they are moving in a direction which is in sync with their values. ENFPs who remain centered will usually be quite successful at their endeavors. Others may fall into the habit of dropping a project when they become excited about a new possibility, and thus they never achieve the great accomplishments which they are capable of achieving.

Most ENFPs have great people skills. They are genuinely warm and interested in people, and place great importance on their inter-personal relationships. ENFPs almost always have a strong need to be liked. Sometimes, especially at a younger age, an ENFP will tend to be "gushy" and insincere, and generally "overdo" in an effort to win acceptance. However, once an ENFP has learned to balance their need to be true to themselves with their need for acceptance, they excel at bringing out the best in others, and are typically well-liked. They have an exceptional ability to intuitively understand a person after a very short period of time, and use their intuition and flexibility to relate to others on their own level.

Because ENFPs live in the world of exciting possibilities, the details of everyday life are seen as trivial drudgery. They place no importance on detailed, maintenance-type tasks, and will frequently remain oblivious to these types of concerns. When they do have to perform these tasks, they do not enjoy themselves. This is a challenging area of life for most ENFPs, and can be frustrating for ENFP's family members.

ENFPs sometimes make serious errors in judgment. They have an amazing ability to intuitively perceive the truth about a person or situation, but when they apply judgment to their perception, they may jump to the wrong conclusions.

ENFPs who have not learned to follow through may have a difficult time remaining happy in marital relationships. Always seeing the possibilities of what could be, they may become bored with what actually is. The strong sense of values, however, will keep many ENFPs dedicated to their relationships. However, ENFPs like a little excitement in their lives, and are best matched with individuals who are comfortable with change and new experiences.

Having an ENFP parent can be a fun-filled experience, but may be stressful at times for children with strong Sensing or Judging tendencies. Such children may see the ENFP parent as inconsistent and difficult to understand, as the children are pulled along in the whirlwind life of the ENFP. Sometimes the ENFP will want to be their child's best friend, and at other times they will play the parental authoritarian. But ENFPs are always consistent in their value systems, which they will impress on their children above all else, along with a basic joy of living.

ENFPs are basically happy people. They may become unhappy when they are confined to strict schedules or mundane tasks. Consequently, ENFPs work best in situations where they have a lot of flexibility, and where they can work with people and ideas. Many go into business for themselves. They have the ability to be quite productive with little supervision, as long as they are excited about what they're doing.

They have a strong need to be independent, and resist being controlled or labelled. They need to maintain control over themselves, but they do not believe in controlling others. Their dislike of dependence and suppression extends to others as well as to themselves.

ENFPs are charming, ingenuous, risk-taking, sensitive, people-oriented individuals with capabilities ranging across a broad spectrum. They have many gifts which they will use to fulfill themselves and those near them, if they are able to remain centered and master the ability of following through.
Comments: appease my failing soul.

Time:5:24 am.

"In conditions of great uncertainty people tend to predict the events that they want to happen actually will happen." -- Roberta Wohlstetter

Comments: appease my failing soul.

Wednesday, October 22nd, 2014

Time:5:24 am.

"The sun does not shine for a few trees and flowers, but for the wide world's joy." -- Henry Ward Beecher

[Happy birthday to my aunt Vaso in England!]

Comments: appease my failing soul.

Tuesday, October 21st, 2014

Subject:moving to SD
Time:9:39 pm.
Because poets. Because sunshine. Because flowers all year-round. Because family. Because the city. Because why not? Because openness. Because warmth. Because
Comments: appease my failing soul.

Subject:I feel Him calling
Time:6:29 am.
calling my name
never the same

I feel him
I love him
there is no other
above him

calling me home
to a place I can only dream

God help me now
before my soul does scream

Give me some faith
Give me some hope

my soul is fragile
please open the door
the earth says "nope"
Comments: appease my failing soul.

Time:5:24 am.

"It's a shame fish don't taste like blueberries." -- [info] realinterrobang, phone conversation, the silly hours of 2014-10-20

Comments: appease my failing soul.

Monday, October 20th, 2014

Subject:Is this a thing that gets to happen?
Time:11:20 pm.
Is this a thing that gets to happen to me?

We've booked our tickets.
Not sure how we're paying for the sleeps,
for the eats.
Flights have set us back... 2600, I think, all around.
That's what we got in gifts.

We'll make the sleeps, eats happen.

He's taking me on my European honeymoon.

Rome and Barcelona.

Could it be any more romantic?

Lately, he's kinda been a dick.

But I get that he's stressed.

Yesterday in San Diego was lovely.

We're moving to San Diego, mutha kissahs!

The countdown is on! 7 weeks to freedom!

Kathleen's been... not a real good boss lately.

So we'll pack up ship out try over again.

And be home in time for baby's first Christmas
in Chicago. With a real tree. It's happening.

I love that tiny Vera. Maybe Heather could take her for a day?

We're married, and it feels the same.

In my dream last night my dad made Ben buy me a wedding ring.
Should I get one just for show?

Should I legally change my name?

When I take my honeymoon, I want to write and write and write
and fuck and fuck and fuck

fuck like we used to fuck
back when we used to love to fuck
back when we'd fuck every chance we got
because the fucking was so fucking good

Wasn't that why I married the man?
We didn't have sex on our one-week weekend.
Why not?

Having a daughter is exhausting.

Europe doesn't seem real yet.
We need backpacks.

We dream bigger. We live larger.
There's money out there, it comes and goes, we'll get what we need.
We'll slash others' tires. We'll sleep where we're able.
We are stable.
We love.
We are thriving.
And it's only beginning.

I need to sleep now.

Ok... sleep!

Comments: appease my failing soul.

Time:5:24 am.

"People often say that same-sex marriage now is like interracial marriage in the 60s. But in terms of public opinion, same-sex marriage now is like interracial marriage in the 90s, when it had already been legal nationwide for 30 years." -- Randall Munroe, xkcd, 2014-10-08

Comments: appease my failing soul.

Sunday, October 19th, 2014

Time:5:24 am.

"'Religion' means faith in the supernatural, does it not? Most Orcans, like most Aeneans everywhere, do have that kind of faith. They maintain a God exists, and observe different ceremonies and injunctions on that account. If they have any sophistication, however, they admit their belief is nonscientific. It is not subject to empirical confirmation or disconfirmation, Miracles may have happened through divine intervention; but a miracle, by definition, involves a suspension of natural law hence cannot be experimentally repeated. Aye, its historical trugh or falsity can be indirectly investigated. But the confirmation of an event proves nothing, since it could be explained away scientifically. For example, if we could show that there was in fact a Jesus Christ who did in fact rise from his tomb, he may have been in a coma, not dead. Likewise, disconfirmation proves nothing. For example, if it turns out that a given saint never lived, that merely shows people were naïve, not that the basic creed is wrong." -- Commander Yakow, in The Day of Their Return by Poul Anderson (1973, Nelson Doubleday, New York)

Comments: appease my failing soul.

Saturday, October 18th, 2014

Time:5:24 am.

"Homines ad deos nulla re propius accedunt quam salutem hominibus dando." -- Cicero (b. 106 BCE, 3 January; d. 43 BCE, 7 December), Pro Ligario -- "In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men."

[Today is the feast day of St. Luke]

Comments: appease my failing soul.

Subject:on having recently gotten married, and the future that follows it
Time:12:28 am.
Dude, some day I'm gonna be 6 feet underground.

Can I stop worrying about the money so much?

It comes. It goes. Ebbs, flows.

All will be ... revealed!

San Diego's got my seal ... of approval? Of the Artic
Sea here sea here


We're planning a honeymoon
cuz the wedding's been survived
we're pushing forward
full speed into hyperdrive
we're remembering
what words are
when we are

We're pushing it further
push it past the restraints
Look me in the eye.
you don't scare me

bc I'm full of love
and knowledge
and this girl she gets by

she's a lovedgirl dammit
sending thank yous to the whole widebloodymessaworld out there
Comments: appease my failing soul.

Friday, October 17th, 2014

Time:9:19 pm.
Music:Ella Fitzgerald & Louis Armstrong - love is here to stay.
I'm okay.

I'm pretty okay.

I'm not as depressed as I used to be.

Not nearly.

Or.... I am just as depressed.
I just found a way to handle it better.
I just found a good reason to try and handle it better.


Things feel much different in some ways.

It feels like a lot changed.

Change is strange.
By its very nature, no less.

I dunno.

I don't really know how to deal yet.

I'm still figuring out all of this.

Still here too.

That counts.

Hell yeah.

I'm off the rails, man.... I mean.. as far as coexisting with people. Like... I'm not good at that. And I don't like it anyway.

People aren't for me.

And that's just fine with me.
Comments: appease my failing soul.

Friends Blurty for un erbana.

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