Friends Blurty for un erbana.
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Saturday, September 13th, 2014

Subject:Get me the feck out of Orange County.
Time:8:46 am.
I hate Orange County. I hate money. I hate how much everything matters.
Comments: appease my failing soul.

Thursday, September 11th, 2014

Subject:We are pixels
Time:3:18 am.
The adress of beauty
and thousands of killing,
breathed by their own
due hands. infecting an
alchemy soak of glory
spell upon our mans heros.

The latter does no favors
for the sword, Slumberers
of the five missing
conversational decrees,
infecting your soak of glory
spell upon our mans heros.
Comments: appease my failing soul.

Wednesday, September 10th, 2014

Subject:mutterings before bed; thinking of new book
Time:9:46 pm.
I'm getting caught in the rain.
I'm nesting.
I'm moving.
The boss doesn't know.
How to sing
out of tune.
The CEO came
and he took jobs away.
He's angry and unfeeling
somehow concurrently.
Milk lines
run the length
of my body
from armpits
to groin
in a parallel
pair. They are there.
Right now,
they are useless.
I've thought a lot
about my breasts
my whole life
but never of my milk
until half a year ago.
I made milk
and gave milk,
nourished her
and helped her grow
on milk my body
knew how to make.
We don't just have milk ducts
in the breasts,
we are mammals
we have milk lines
that run the length
of our torsos.
Other mammals
have lines of nipples
to feed a litter of young.
We've developed
to birth just one.
With an enormous brain.
Who suckles every
couple hours.
Some women have a second
nipple, somewhere along
the line. Sometimes it
even lactates. Something
under the skin
we're not aware of,
would not know was there,
we develop in week seven
in the womb.
Men have milk lines too.
In most cases they stop
at the groin, but in some
have been known to go
to the feet.
have extra nipples.
I'm not a polythetliac
but I've never had breasts,
not much anyway,
and for a long time I hated it,
then I owned it,
then in grad school started
actually wearing a bra
and after grad school had a baby.
My connection
with my breasts is
always changing.
Now, having weaned
(too soon, thanks
corporate America)
they feel different again--
softer, floppy,
maybe they're tired.
But now I should
rest; I never get enough
rest. Four and a half
weeks until the wedding.
Twelve more weeks
at this job (we'll see).
I'm getting into a
rhythm, though. It's starting
to feel okay, like I am capable.
I'm also, now, considering
going for my PMP certification
and switching career fields
from publishing to project
management. I like project
management. And I like books,
but books don't pay the grown-up bills.
And I can't grow up to be
Kathleen. We both know that.
After I leave
the company, I hope
we can be friends.
She's a good person.
And, even knowing
the company's shady
acctg, I might ask
to work PT, remotely.
is still not what I'm worth,
but it'd come in handy.
But now,
sweet Enadia,
Comments: appease my failing soul.

Time:5:20 pm.
friendships sailing on notions
Comments: appease my failing soul.

Monday, September 8th, 2014

Time:10:48 pm.
Decried darkened ones,
Deaths deity abound, each
teachs in me the reading
Of colors expressed in sound,
the only languge is universe,
The hidden dragons of stars and sun,
repeating the twelve
straining guides
of thy vanished ones;
measurements of all my deaths.
Comments: appease my failing soul.

Sunday, September 7th, 2014

Subject:Cheap Flights 50p
Time:4:39 pm.
Mood: amused.
Comments: 1 tried to - appease my failing soul.

Time:12:03 am.
I'll admit it. I'm addicted to technology. How did this happen?
I'm so sedentary, and I hate it.
I never DO anything.
I probably spend 90% of my waking hours staring at a screen. At work, on the computer. Home, on the computer. Attached to my smart phone. Ughhh f that noise. I want to WRITE POEMS. I want to PRACTICE YOGA. GO FOR A HIKE.
Maybe it's because my time is no longer my own. So instead of being able to commit to any Suzie-centric activity, I can only steal noncommital snatches of time, so--
But even now. She's sleeping. It's Saturday night. Why in the hell am I on the computer? I'm only 28 years old. Do I really have NO friends here? No one I could have gone out with tonight. I HATE ORANGE COUNTY.
And it sucks because I don't REALLY hate Orange County. Our neighbors are really sweet. I admit I'll miss my job. But it's BORING, and PEOPLE MATTER. People matter extensively.
People in SD:
Hank and Summer and their family
M&S and their family

People in Chi:
dan (moving to CO)
sarah s
ben's family (closer)
ben's missy eric neil etc
What other lifers are around?
banana bite
No one with families, really.

Ok I gotta go. Computer's dying. I think it's a sign.
Comments: appease my failing soul.

Saturday, September 6th, 2014

Subject:wander and wonder
Time:5:30 pm.
I wander to him and I wonder what he will say and do
I love him and I like him and he loves me more than you

I trust and then I mistrust him his intentions are so unclear
all I know is that I feel happy sometimes when he is near
Comments: appease my failing soul.

Time:9:26 am.
If you don't like what you see, then stop looking. It's that easy.
Comments: appease my failing soul.

Thursday, September 4th, 2014

Time:10:41 pm.
How you make others feel about themselves says a lot about you.
Comments: appease my failing soul.

Subject:NAMI peer to peer--- my story
Time:5:09 pm.
Mood: content.
As a baby, my mother said I was passionate. I cried a lot… or maybe I was manic. As a child, my teacher told my parents I was average. So, knowing I could learn better without the social distraction of school, my mother homeschooled me. When I re-entered school at age 10, I had lost my popularity, however, I was on the honor roll nearly every semester, including the semesters I was hospitalized, and found a new group of friends. After graduating from university, earning a respectable 3.0 grade point average, I moved in with my fiancé and life was good. I worked at a preschool and a nursing home for nearly 2 years without hospitalizations and without medications. However, I was betrayed by my fiancé and best (worst) friend. Again, I was hospitalized and I don’t remember why. I was hospitalized numerous times since age 16. I remember why some of the times and some are still a mystery to me. Sometimes, it was for a medication change, and I don’t claim any of the many diagnosis. Now, I am going on 4 years since my last hospitalization and take one daily medication that I have discovered is a placebo and one injection that only hurts my arm and my pride. Yet, through it all, I am thankful for my many blessings.
My parents clearly care about me and my future. I work as an artist, using my university degree, and volunteer at the library and an early learning center. My boyfriend and I celebrated our one year anniversary last June. I feel stable and happy. My joy comes from the work I do, and the people in my life, and, of course, my adorable, bestest dog in the world, Scott.
Comments: appease my failing soul.

Friends Blurty for un erbana.

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You're looking at the latest 11 entries.