Friends Blurty for un erbana.
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Thursday, October 23rd, 2014

Time:8:21 am.
enfp - description

ENFPs are warm, enthusiastic people, typically very bright and full of potential. They live in the world of possibilities, and can become very passionate and excited about things. Their enthusiasm lends them the ability to inspire and motivate others, more so than we see in other types. They can talk their way in or out of anything. They love life, seeing it as a special gift, and strive to make the most out of it.

ENFPs have an unusually broad range of skills and talents. They are good at most things that interest them. Project-oriented, they may go through several different careers during their lifetime. To onlookers, the ENFP may seem directionless and without purpose, but ENFPs are actually quite consistent. They have a strong sense of values which they live with throughout their life. Everything that they do must be in line with their values. They see meaning in everything, and are on a continuous quest to adapt their life and values to achieve inner peace. They're constantly aware and somewhat fearful of losing touch with themselves. Since emotional excitement is usually an important part of the ENFP's life, and because they are focused on keeping "centered", the ENFP is usually an intense individual, with highly evolved values.

An ENFP needs to focus on following through with their projects. This can be a problem area for some of these individuals. Unlike other Extroverted types, ENFPs need time alone to center themselves, and make sure they are moving in a direction which is in sync with their values. ENFPs who remain centered will usually be quite successful at their endeavors. Others may fall into the habit of dropping a project when they become excited about a new possibility, and thus they never achieve the great accomplishments which they are capable of achieving.

Most ENFPs have great people skills. They are genuinely warm and interested in people, and place great importance on their inter-personal relationships. ENFPs almost always have a strong need to be liked. Sometimes, especially at a younger age, an ENFP will tend to be "gushy" and insincere, and generally "overdo" in an effort to win acceptance. However, once an ENFP has learned to balance their need to be true to themselves with their need for acceptance, they excel at bringing out the best in others, and are typically well-liked. They have an exceptional ability to intuitively understand a person after a very short period of time, and use their intuition and flexibility to relate to others on their own level.

Because ENFPs live in the world of exciting possibilities, the details of everyday life are seen as trivial drudgery. They place no importance on detailed, maintenance-type tasks, and will frequently remain oblivious to these types of concerns. When they do have to perform these tasks, they do not enjoy themselves. This is a challenging area of life for most ENFPs, and can be frustrating for ENFP's family members.

ENFPs sometimes make serious errors in judgment. They have an amazing ability to intuitively perceive the truth about a person or situation, but when they apply judgment to their perception, they may jump to the wrong conclusions.

ENFPs who have not learned to follow through may have a difficult time remaining happy in marital relationships. Always seeing the possibilities of what could be, they may become bored with what actually is. The strong sense of values, however, will keep many ENFPs dedicated to their relationships. However, ENFPs like a little excitement in their lives, and are best matched with individuals who are comfortable with change and new experiences.

Having an ENFP parent can be a fun-filled experience, but may be stressful at times for children with strong Sensing or Judging tendencies. Such children may see the ENFP parent as inconsistent and difficult to understand, as the children are pulled along in the whirlwind life of the ENFP. Sometimes the ENFP will want to be their child's best friend, and at other times they will play the parental authoritarian. But ENFPs are always consistent in their value systems, which they will impress on their children above all else, along with a basic joy of living.

ENFPs are basically happy people. They may become unhappy when they are confined to strict schedules or mundane tasks. Consequently, ENFPs work best in situations where they have a lot of flexibility, and where they can work with people and ideas. Many go into business for themselves. They have the ability to be quite productive with little supervision, as long as they are excited about what they're doing.

They have a strong need to be independent, and resist being controlled or labelled. They need to maintain control over themselves, but they do not believe in controlling others. Their dislike of dependence and suppression extends to others as well as to themselves.

ENFPs are charming, ingenuous, risk-taking, sensitive, people-oriented individuals with capabilities ranging across a broad spectrum. They have many gifts which they will use to fulfill themselves and those near them, if they are able to remain centered and master the ability of following through.
Comments: appease my failing soul.

Time:5:24 am.

"In conditions of great uncertainty people tend to predict the events that they want to happen actually will happen." -- Roberta Wohlstetter

Comments: appease my failing soul.

Wednesday, October 22nd, 2014

Time:5:24 am.

"The sun does not shine for a few trees and flowers, but for the wide world's joy." -- Henry Ward Beecher

[Happy birthday to my aunt Vaso in England!]

Comments: appease my failing soul.

Tuesday, October 21st, 2014

Subject:moving to SD
Time:9:39 pm.
Because poets. Because sunshine. Because flowers all year-round. Because family. Because the city. Because why not? Because openness. Because warmth. Because
Comments: appease my failing soul.

Subject:I feel Him calling
Time:6:29 am.
calling my name
never the same

I feel him
I love him
there is no other
above him

calling me home
to a place I can only dream

God help me now
before my soul does scream

Give me some faith
Give me some hope

my soul is fragile
please open the door
the earth says "nope"
Comments: appease my failing soul.

Time:5:24 am.

"It's a shame fish don't taste like blueberries." -- [info] realinterrobang, phone conversation, the silly hours of 2014-10-20

Comments: appease my failing soul.

Monday, October 20th, 2014

Subject:Is this a thing that gets to happen?
Time:11:20 pm.
Is this a thing that gets to happen to me?

We've booked our tickets.
Not sure how we're paying for the sleeps,
for the eats.
Flights have set us back... 2600, I think, all around.
That's what we got in gifts.

We'll make the sleeps, eats happen.

He's taking me on my European honeymoon.

Rome and Barcelona.

Could it be any more romantic?

Lately, he's kinda been a dick.

But I get that he's stressed.

Yesterday in San Diego was lovely.

We're moving to San Diego, mutha kissahs!

The countdown is on! 7 weeks to freedom!

Kathleen's been... not a real good boss lately.

So we'll pack up ship out try over again.

And be home in time for baby's first Christmas
in Chicago. With a real tree. It's happening.

I love that tiny Vera. Maybe Heather could take her for a day?

We're married, and it feels the same.

In my dream last night my dad made Ben buy me a wedding ring.
Should I get one just for show?

Should I legally change my name?

When I take my honeymoon, I want to write and write and write
and fuck and fuck and fuck

fuck like we used to fuck
back when we used to love to fuck
back when we'd fuck every chance we got
because the fucking was so fucking good

Wasn't that why I married the man?
We didn't have sex on our one-week weekend.
Why not?

Having a daughter is exhausting.

Europe doesn't seem real yet.
We need backpacks.

We dream bigger. We live larger.
There's money out there, it comes and goes, we'll get what we need.
We'll slash others' tires. We'll sleep where we're able.
We are stable.
We love.
We are thriving.
And it's only beginning.

I need to sleep now.

Ok... sleep!

Comments: appease my failing soul.

Time:5:24 am.

"People often say that same-sex marriage now is like interracial marriage in the 60s. But in terms of public opinion, same-sex marriage now is like interracial marriage in the 90s, when it had already been legal nationwide for 30 years." -- Randall Munroe, xkcd, 2014-10-08

Comments: appease my failing soul.

Sunday, October 19th, 2014

Time:5:24 am.

"'Religion' means faith in the supernatural, does it not? Most Orcans, like most Aeneans everywhere, do have that kind of faith. They maintain a God exists, and observe different ceremonies and injunctions on that account. If they have any sophistication, however, they admit their belief is nonscientific. It is not subject to empirical confirmation or disconfirmation, Miracles may have happened through divine intervention; but a miracle, by definition, involves a suspension of natural law hence cannot be experimentally repeated. Aye, its historical trugh or falsity can be indirectly investigated. But the confirmation of an event proves nothing, since it could be explained away scientifically. For example, if we could show that there was in fact a Jesus Christ who did in fact rise from his tomb, he may have been in a coma, not dead. Likewise, disconfirmation proves nothing. For example, if it turns out that a given saint never lived, that merely shows people were naïve, not that the basic creed is wrong." -- Commander Yakow, in The Day of Their Return by Poul Anderson (1973, Nelson Doubleday, New York)

Comments: appease my failing soul.

Saturday, October 18th, 2014

Time:5:24 am.

"Homines ad deos nulla re propius accedunt quam salutem hominibus dando." -- Cicero (b. 106 BCE, 3 January; d. 43 BCE, 7 December), Pro Ligario -- "In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men."

[Today is the feast day of St. Luke]

Comments: appease my failing soul.

Subject:on having recently gotten married, and the future that follows it
Time:12:28 am.
Dude, some day I'm gonna be 6 feet underground.

Can I stop worrying about the money so much?

It comes. It goes. Ebbs, flows.

All will be ... revealed!

San Diego's got my seal ... of approval? Of the Artic
Sea here sea here


We're planning a honeymoon
cuz the wedding's been survived
we're pushing forward
full speed into hyperdrive
we're remembering
what words are
when we are

We're pushing it further
push it past the restraints
Look me in the eye.
you don't scare me

bc I'm full of love
and knowledge
and this girl she gets by

she's a lovedgirl dammit
sending thank yous to the whole widebloodymessaworld out there
Comments: appease my failing soul.

Friday, October 17th, 2014

Time:9:19 pm.
Music:Ella Fitzgerald & Louis Armstrong - love is here to stay.
I'm okay.

I'm pretty okay.

I'm not as depressed as I used to be.

Not nearly.

Or.... I am just as depressed.
I just found a way to handle it better.
I just found a good reason to try and handle it better.


Things feel much different in some ways.

It feels like a lot changed.

Change is strange.
By its very nature, no less.

I dunno.

I don't really know how to deal yet.

I'm still figuring out all of this.

Still here too.

That counts.

Hell yeah.

I'm off the rails, man.... I mean.. as far as coexisting with people. Like... I'm not good at that. And I don't like it anyway.

People aren't for me.

And that's just fine with me.
Comments: appease my failing soul.

Time:5:24 am.

"I don't fear writing foolishness. I have been doing that all my life.

"I fear writing things that matter."

-- @mackenzian, 2014-09-11

Comments: appease my failing soul.

Thursday, October 16th, 2014

Time:5:24 am.

"On the fifth day, which was a Sunday, it rained very hard. I like it when it rains hard. It sounds like white noise everywhere, which is like silence but not empty." -― Mark Haddon, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time

Comments: appease my failing soul.

Wednesday, October 15th, 2014

Time:7:44 pm.
Comments: appease my failing soul.

Time:5:24 am.

"Really, violins are just a trait of human beings, just as plants have a trait." -- Daniel Chitwood, plant geneticist who studied how violin shapes changed over time, quoted in "How the Violin Got Its Shape" by Laura Geggel (published 2014-10-09)

Comments: appease my failing soul.

Tuesday, October 14th, 2014

Time:6:37 pm.

Toe surgery today -- podiatrist saw condition of my toe and figured correctly that I would say yes this time. The good: I now know a local anaesthetic that actually works on me. The supremely annoying: two hours after I left the podiatrist's office, the anaesthetic wore off and my world has shrunk to a big-toe-size ball of Pure Itching. A little pain buried underneath the itching, but less intense than typical fibromyalgia aches. I could deal with that, probably ignore it. But oh, the itching! Driving [*itch*] me [*itch*] nuts! [*itch*]It's [*itch*] impos[*itch*]sibly [*itch*] dis[*itch*]trac[*itch*]ting[*itch*].

Comments: appease my failing soul.

Time:5:24 am.

From a Facebook post by Harold Feld, 2014-10-08:

Me: This is the Coffee Kikayon. You did not bring it into the world, you did not do anything to make it happen, it wasn't even meant for you. Now it is broken. Shall then we not feel pity for the people of Ninveh, who do not even know their right hand from their left.

Aaron: What do dyslexic Assyrians have to do with anything? Coffee!!!!

Comments: appease my failing soul.

Monday, October 13th, 2014

Time:5:24 am.

"In any world menu, Canada must be considered the vichyssoise of nations, it's cold, half-French, and difficult to stir." -- Stuart Keate

[Happy Thanksgiving to my friends up north! And FWIW, I loved vichyssoise before I went vegetarian, and am always on the lookout for some not made with chicken stock.]

Comments: appease my failing soul.

Sunday, October 12th, 2014

Time:2:42 pm.
Mood: contemplative.
A day off.
So nice.....

The week went by without any big issues, which is always good. It was a week of 3 nights on 2B & 2 nights on 2A, which I could do without. Would be nice if I could have 5 nights on 2A, but that ain't a-gonna happen.....

Just checked.... only 19 Blurty members in the U.S. posted something in the past week. Where did everybody go????
Comments: 3 tried to - appease my failing soul.

Time:5:24 am.

From the Quotation of the day mailing list, 2014-10-07:

"Without adequate oversight, or penalties for abuse, the only protection that citizens have comes not from Congress or the courts, but from whistleblowers. As one myself, albeit in the most minor capacity, I understand what motivates someone to expose wrongdoing masquerading as patriotism. There is no graduate school for whistleblowing and no handbook for whistleblowers. It's an imperfect science, and whistleblowers learn from the mistakes of their predecessors. Edward Snowden, Chelsea Manning, Tom Drake, Bill Binney and Kirk Wiebe all came from different backgrounds and worked in different fields. None joined the intelligence community to become a whistleblower, but each was driven by unchecked government abuse to tell the public what they knew to be true." -- James Bamford, author of The Puzzle Palace, the first in-depth examination of the National Security Agency.


(submitted to the mailing list by Mike Krawchuk)

Comments: appease my failing soul.

Saturday, October 11th, 2014

Subject:Timing, second try
Time:7:53 pm.
Whoops - when I scheduled today's QotD I forgot to mention why this quote for this day: National Coming-Out Day. (Double-whoops: when I tried to send this message inside a foreach() loop, something went ver wrong.)
Comments: appease my failing soul.

Time:12:29 pm.
Comments: appease my failing soul.

Time:5:24 am.

Two tweets from @mackenzian, 2014-10-06:

When you don't take up enough space, #courage is running out to meet the world.

Where you meet, something new can take shape.

When you take up too much space, #courage is withdrawing enough to let the world come in.

Others will build on the ground you cede.

Comments: appease my failing soul.

Friday, October 10th, 2014

Time:4:44 am.
I am actually and honestly petrified of marriage.
I am terrified of getting married.

I love Ben.
Is it because I don't think Ben is perfect for me?

It is because my own parents' marriage has been so dysfunctional?

I fear losing my freedom.

I tell myself, I'm gaining a partner for this crazy cosmic journey through life.
But Ben's so boring. So awkward.

All the great adventures we've had, what if that was me? Me, putting things in motion, his smile just a reflection of my own? Does he make me ecstatic? Does he plan jubilations for us?

But he is a wonderful partner. Treats me so well, loves Vera.
We honestly love one another.

I'm just scared.
So so so so scared.

Am I scared because this means I'm growing up?
Even moreso than having a baby, I think this makes me an adult.

Means a certain part of my life (that I've really really loved) is over.

Means I'll never kiss anyone else ever again. And I love kissing people!
But it's true, there's no one else I would want to have sex with but Ben.
But what if that were to change? Forever is a really long time. The longest.

I think this is helping. I passed out from sheer exhaustion at 11.
After such a long day yesterday. Planning this wedding's been nightmarish.

But then I woke up out of my sleep with heartburn at 3.

It's 4:30 now. I can't sleep. Heartburn, nausea.
I tell myself, I need to sleep. Sleep while Vera sleeps.
Still so much packing and planning left to do.
Impossible to do it when she's awake.
Impossible to sleep when she's awake.
I need to sleep now, sleep hard and fast.
But here I am, venting my soul out onto a computer screen.

It is nice too though, in a way, this is the last me-time
I'll get for a while. Tomorrow the flight home,
the next few nights with others. Sunday night
will be my wedding night. We're staying at the Hyatt
Regency in Chicago. We're FINALLY
OMG it is like losing our virginity
going to get to have SEX again

Life has been way too chaotic lately.
And then not too far off, our honeymoon.
We're taking one!
Booking tickets once the gifts amount to $1000.
$1000, can you even fathom it? In gifts.
That's a sweet lil chunk of change!
Where are we at, now?

Ummmm we're at $900 already!!!
Whaaaa??? YAY!!

OMG We need a vacation like I have never in my life needed a vacation.
Dear God I feel no remorse for going to Europe.
For spending the money (when we're so broke really) on going to Europe.
This past year (or more) has been so hard.
But it's also brought Ben and I closer together.

Think of this long weekend with mnd babysitting Vera as a trial run.
How will they do for 10-14 days with her in December?

OMG I love my baby.
I love my whole family.
Really, I do.

Then in December we'll move on down
to San Diego.

My office threw me a surprise bridal shower today.
It helped boost my morale.

Especially after missing my massage yesterday
and then I missed yoga tonight.

Maybe I can go to yoga this morning?

My mind is too chattery.
Ben is wonderful for me.
He's stable, grounded.
He's like the stake in the ground
that lets this Suziekite soar
without getting hopelessly lost
in the clouds.
I love him.
I love us.
I love our family.
We are really a family.

All right, there are actually 4 possible yoga options this morning
before we leave to catch the plane.
Would that serve me better than time packing?

All right then loosey goose. I'm'a try'n sleep again.
Maybe on the couch.
I still feel all stomach acidy uncomfortable
on the insides
but whatcha gunna do?
If it gets too bad I'll have a peppermint tea.
(The things you learn during your pregnancy.)

I'll be a beautiful bride.
Ceremony will be perfect.
Odds of rain are letting up!

A wonderful meal
good music
of good people together
feeling no guilt
for who's there and not there
it's a celebration dammit
the invites have been sent
and received and planned
and it's all good.
Everything is as it should be.
Everything works out how it's supposed to.
Put it in God's hands.
You want to make God laugh?
Tell Him your plans.

For now, you're a sweet little Enadia girl
growing up
I know you hate to hear it
a sweet Enadia girl
growing into a smart fun outgoing
Enadia woman
and I'm proud of you
and you can do this
and this will help you shine
brighter than you thought you ever could
you don't even know
all the beauty that's in store.

No one's ever loved you more.
So don't be afraid.
Roll with it.
It's like a wave.
You have to dive in
or you'll get knocked over.
Be bolder.
to life and its experiences
you're making a little spider web
of being alive
gathering up little hopes
and placing there here and there
and Vera loves you
so much for being you
and always will
and everything
is restored
to its natural order

now sleep
little love
while it's possible
you'll need it
Comments: appease my failing soul.

Time:5:24 am.

"We don't always know what we're doing. We often just get excited, put something down, and say, 'Oh, neat'." -- Tina Weymouth (b. 1950-11-22)

[Happy birthday to [info] nosebeepbear! (I have no idea whether this method would make things easier or harder for you.)]

Comments: appease my failing soul.

Friends Blurty for un erbana.

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