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Forward E-mail [10 Jan 2004|07:15pm] [ mood | blah ] IF I KNEW If I knew it would be the last time That I'd see you fall asleep, I would tuck you in more tightly and pray the Lord, your soul to keep. If I knew it would be the last time that I see you walk out the door, I would give you a hug and kiss and call you back for one more. If I knew it would be the last time I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise, I would video tape each action and word, so I could play them back day after day. If I knew it would be the last time, I could spare an extra minute to stop and say "I love you," instead of assuming you would KNOW I do. If I knew it would be the last time I would be there to share your day, Well I'm sure you'll have so many more, so I can let just this one slip away. For surely there's always tomorrow to make up for an oversight, and we always get a second chance to make everything just right. There will always be another day to say "I love you," And certainly there's another chance to say our "Anything I can do?" But just in case I might be wrong, and today is all I get, I'd like to say how much I love you and I hope we never forget. Tomorrow is not promised to anyone, young or old alike, And today may be the last chance you get to hold your loved one tight. So if you're waiting for tomorrow, why not do it today? For if tomorrow never comes, you'll surely regret the day, That you didn't take that extra time for a smile, a hug, or a kiss and you were too busy to grant someone, what turned out to be their one last wish. So hold your loved ones close today, and whisper in their ear, Tell them how much you love them and that you'll always hold them dear Take time to say "I'm sorry," "Please forgive me," "Thank you," or "It's okay." And if tomorrow never! comes, you'll have no regrets about today. :+:Crying for you:+:

Life Sucks [03 Jan 2004|09:45pm] Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks, Life Sucks! :+:Crying for you:+:

Hmm Yeah. [28 Dec 2003|07:40pm] [ mood | hot ] Wow lol i feel like i really need to say loads, i just don't know what. So since christmas, On boxing day i went to see my Dad, Nan, Grandad, Auntie and Uncle lol. I got: :+: £100 off my dad. :+: A rug, Dressing gown, Chocolate off my nan. :+: This make up thing and gell pens off my uncle. :+: Slippers, Lip gloss, Flannel thing, A bag, £20 off my auntie. So thats what i got boxing day. Yesterday i went to milton keynes just to get some fluffy yeti boots but you know my luck, they didn't have any in my god damn size. But i got some 'O'neill' ugg boots. They're really nice. Tomorrow i'm going back to milton keynes and i'm gonna get: :+: Denim skirt :+: Skin coloured tights. Which will come to about £15 Then i'm ordering off the internet: :+: Denim skirt :+: Thongs :+: Furry boots That will come to about £70 I have £115. And on tuesday i'm going to the cinema with Karl and i'm saving £15. Then i need £5 for bus fair and £5 for food. But yeah so thats all my money gone. Then for my Birthday i wanna get. :+: Dc's :+: P.O.D hoody :+: P.O.D skinny fit top :+: Jeans I dunno what else i guess it just depends on what i get. So anyway i better go. Cya -x- :+:Crying for you:+:

Christmas [25 Dec 2003|05:34pm] [ mood | loved ] Okay well it's christmas today. Quite a kool day. I got money, straightners, hair dryer, cd player, cd's etc. etc. But yeah, ill ninos album is so good. The lyrics before this entry remind me so much of Karl. It's like how i feel. He's someone i didn't expect him to be, I loved him, I still do. But i am sick of all the fighting. And the lyrics seem so...real to me. But I do love him... I think i do, i feel like i do. Well until later, Mwah x x x :+:Crying for you:+:

Ill Nino Lyrics [25 Dec 2003|05:33pm] [ mood | full ] I loved you You were all that I wanted Then, I watched you Turn into someone else Well I'm sick of the fighting I'm sick of just blaming myself Well I'm sick of escaping I'm sick of erasing Your face and the places That give me a trace to you But I will never find you I can't hold on I'm feeling numb From everything you do And put me through When I was part of you I'm feeling numb From holding on To everything that you Had put me through When I was part of you Well if I can deceive you Then why can't I leave you alone Well if everything's painful Then why do I wait for Your face or the place That will give me a trace to you But I will never find you I can't hold on I'm feeling numb From everything you do And put me through When I was part of you I'm feeling numb From holding on To everything that you Had put me through When I was part of you Siento el amor Siento el dolor Siento el amor Siento el calor Siento el amor Siento el dolor But I will never find you I can't hold on I'm feeling numb From everything you do And put me through When I was part of you I'm feeling numb From holding on To everything that you Had put me through When I was part of you :+:Crying for you:+:

An Unsent Letter... [23 Dec 2003|02:42pm] [ mood | weird ] To Karl, Okay well i guess for some reason i can't say this to you. To you in person or even instant messenger. But i hate this. Me and you are always arguing, I hate it. I get jealous too easy over you and any of my mates. I just feel like you like them more than me. Take Vicky for instance. You and her, You talk to her about everything, inclding when me and you have a fight. You get MY friends involved in it. You get along to well with her. When you're on msn i can tell you're talking to Vicky more than me, ittakes you ages to answer me sometimes and you're playing checkers or something with her. I seriously can't take anymore of this. Last night you did what SHE told you to do just 'cause you insulted her she told you not to bother talking. So you decide to involve me in that, and you ignore me. What the hell is with that, i'm your gilfriend and you talk to me in some horrible ways sometimes. If i told you all this i know you would do what you always do when we argue. It'll me your fault and then i get stressed about it, then somehow you turn all the blame onto me and it gets turned into something different you know like when i asked you that i really needed to know how you felt about me and then you ot upset. That's what you always take and chuck it in my face. Well i said i was sorry for that. But when it gets turned to me, nothing gets said and then you start saying all thigs to me, lik you're really sorry, and everythings your fault, then it's like 'Yeah Karl, Why don't you hand me a whole load of guilt with the arguement too' I dunno, I really don't wanna split up with you, i just can't take no more. I want us to be happy again... Like we used too. Love you loads. Sarah x-x-x-x :+:Crying for you:+:

Blurty... [16 Dec 2003|07:03pm] [ mood | bored ] Damnit, Blurty has been down on my computer for some od reason i was like.... waiting for god knows how many days. I did update but it kept saying ERROR try again later. But yeah, now it's working so i wanna update for the weekend. So Friday: On Friday i went to Iron Maiden concert and i went with my auntie and her boyfriend. It was really good. We left at 5 and we went to london on the train and the underground. But we arrived there at...6ish. I got a t-shirt and it's got this glittery mask on the front and says IRON MAIDEN on the back. It's really nice, it's a skinny fit t-shirt. But yeah, we got there and sat down and it was really big. Funeral For A Friend played first (FFAF) and they were really good live. And i want a FFAF hat. After they played iron maiden played and after awhile these 3 boys sat near us. 2 of them were well fit. So then i wanted a drink and he followed me and asked for my number, I was well like.... Oh my god. But i couldnt say no so i gave him it. I have been texting him loads and he's called Mark and he's just turned 16. He lives in windsor, in London. And he has 2 sisters. Lol i no everything about him, it's so kool. He texts me loads and he thinks i'm nice, Sweet, Gorgeous lol. It's really weird him saying it too me. I wanna meet up with him but i guess that won't happen although i'd love it if we did. So yeah that was pretty much the intresting part of my weekend. Karl has asked me to go to the cinema with him on the 22nd which is next monday it think. I dunno what we're gonna see and how and where so, i dunno really lol. I'm so bored...Well better go. -x-x-x- :+:Crying for you:+:

Agh [09 Dec 2003|09:07pm] [ mood | blank ] Okay well, I decided to include a load of lyrics that i've been listening too. It's wierd 'cause i really love 'Save the Last Dance' I've been watching it all the time and there's a song called crazy that was done for the film. Well, in the extras theres the video to that soundtrack and it makes you wanna cry... I keep listening to it. It reminds me of Karl. These lyrics remind me of him: "And now I know I need you each and every day,I can't live without you, so don't run away,Baby you say that you love me, so why'd u leave me, why " Well anyways. -x- :+:Crying for you:+:

Save The Last Dance Soundtrack - Crazy [09 Dec 2003|09:00pm] [ mood | confused ] I don't know why, what I'm doing what I'm doing) See, baby I, apologize For all the things that I've done that I've done See I've known that I've been a fool for far too long And baby you have it, I go around to wait, just come back to papa Please baby, baby won't you stay If you really love me then why are you leavin me I can't think, think about this crazy day I lose sleep just to daydream about you babyyyyyyyy I'm going crazy, crazy, crazy, just to thinkin about you lately (crazy baby) I'm going crazy, crazy, crazy, just to thinkin about you baby (I don't know what to do) I'm going crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy, thinkin about you lately (crazy, crazy, crazy) I'm going crazy, crazy, (crazy, crazy) when I can touch you Crazy, crazy (I'm going crazy) when I can hold you Crazy, crazy, (I'm going crazy) when I can see you again (Said I'm going crazy) (Said I'm going crazy) I've finally realized, that you are my true love And I had a lot of time to think, and you're all seem to keep thinking, To keep thinkin of, yeahhh And now I know I need you each and every day I can't live without you, so don't run away Baby you say that you love me, so why'd u leave me, why (why, why, why, why) I can't think, think about this crazy day I lose sleep just to daydream about you baby (I'm going crazy) I'm going crazy, crazy, crazy, just to thinkin about you lately (just to think) I'm going crazy, crazy, crazy, just to thinkin about you baby (I'm goin crazy, I'm going crazy) I'm going crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy, thinkin about you lately I'm going crazy, crazy, (crazy, crazy) but I can't touch you (I'm going crazy) Crazy, crazy (crazy, crazy), when I can hold you Crazy, crazy, when I can see again (if I can see you, if I can see you if I can see you, if I can see you) If I can see you, if I can see you again Then I would go, if I could see you again I'd go craeeae :+:Crying for you:+:

Staind lyrics - Fade [09 Dec 2003|08:48pm] [ mood | annoyed ] [ music | Staind - Fade ] I try to breathe Memories overtaking me I try to face them but The thought is too much to conceive I only know that I can change Everything else just stays the same So now I step out of the darkness that my life became 'cause I just needed someone to talk to You were just to busy with yourself You were never there for me To express how I felt I just stuffed it down Now I'm older and I feel like I could let some of this anger fade But it seems the surface I am scratching Is the bed that I have made So where were you? When all this I was going through You never took the time To ask me just what you could do I only know that I can change Everything else just stays the same So now I step out of the darkness that my life became 'cause I just needed someone to talk to You were just to busy with yourself You were never there for me To express how I felt I just stuffed it down Now I'm older and I feel like I could let some of this anger fade But it seems the surface I am scratching Is the bed that I have made I never meant to fade... Away I NEVER MEANT TO FADE I just needed someone to talk to You were just to busy with yourself You were never there for me To express how I felt I just stuffed it down Now I'm older and I feel like I could let some of this anger fade But it seems the surface I am scratching Is the bed that I have made I try to breathe... :+:Crying for you:+:

Staind Lyrics - Open Your Eyes [09 Dec 2003|08:45pm] [ mood | sad ] As I walk along these streets I see a man that walks alone Distant echo of peoples feet He has no place to call his own A shot rings out from a roof over head A crack head asks for change nearby An old man lies in an alleyway dead A little girl lost just stands there and cries What would you do, if it was you Would you take everything for granted like you do? A boy just 13 on the corner for sale Swallows his pride for another hit Overpopulation there's no room in jail But most of you don't give a shit That your daughters are porno stars and Your sons sell death to kids You're so lost in your little worlds Your little worlds you'll never fix What would you do, if it was you Would you take everything for granted like you do? You turn away As I walk along the streets Soaking up the acid rain Underneath the taxi cabs I hear the streets cry out in vain What would you do, if it was you Would you take everything for granted like you do? :+:Crying for you:+:

So...Yeah [07 Dec 2003|12:53pm] [ mood | cold ] Okay well i havn't updated in awhile and figured i will now. So i havn't done much this weekend. Friday i got a new DVD player and so did Louise. We also got: 5th element dvd box set, Daddy day care, And Pirates of the caribbean on DVD. They're really good films. But anyway i've been kinda happy lately, i dunno why i just have. Me and Karl are getting along okay. I have no idea what to get him for christmas, i was thinking of an album. But i dunno what one. :'( I got an e-mail from karl earlier, he replied to the e-mail i sent last night. I can't wait till christmas now. I'm buying these fluffy boots, they're roxy quicksilver. They're so nice. If i can i'll put a picture in here of them, I'm gonna buy a denim skirt to go with them. WOW i can't wait. I decided for my Birthday and christmas i'm gonna buy with my money; - Fluffy Boots - Denim Skirt - Skin color tights - Jeans - P.O.D Hoody - P.O.D Girls Top - Rancids Album - Chimairas Album - Machine heads Album - Adam Sandler DVD - Thongs - Bra's That's it for now, I'll proply think of something else, I don't even think i can afford all that : / I'll need about £230 pounds! Well better go. x x x :+:Crying for you:+:

Chinese Fortunes [01 Dec 2003|07:33pm] [ mood | blank ] [ music | Anthrax = Safe Home ] The DRAGON Active, Determined, Confident, Enterprising, Versatile, Scrupulous and Lucky. The Dragon is the most celebrated sign of the Chinese Zodiac. They are powerful and very lucky, warm-hearted and full of blazing energy. Dragons are intelligent beings born with endless charisma, which ensures they influence the actions of those around them and often makes them the center of attention—a place they enjoy being. Dragons are known for giving good advice. Just as they are lucky with money, so too are they lucky in love. Dragons have a talent for managing projects from there inception to there end with great success. Although their egos may be a bit inflated, they do make good leaders. While Dragons may acquire great wealth, it is power they truly want. Dragons are usually gracious winners and, conversely, very poor losers. Being a leader is the natural role of the Dragon. Those who learn to be flexible, compassionate and tolerant may become great leaders. Famous DRAGONS Include: Jeffrey Archer, Michael Barrymore, Count Basie, Julie Christie, James Coburn, Bing Crosby, Neil Diamond, Matt Dillon, Placido Domingo, Kirk Douglas, Michael Douglas, Marlene Dietrich, Tom Jones, John Lennon, Nick Nolte, Al Pacino, Elaine Paige, Gregory Peck, Cliff Richard, Martin Sheen, Ringo Starr, Shirley Temple. Ideal Jobs Include: Managing director, Salesperson, Advertising executive, Barrister, Film producer, Prime minister or President, Photojournalist, Architect, Astronaut, Artist, Film star, War correspondent. Lucky Numbers: 3, 4, 5, 6, 15, 21, 34, 35, 36 and 45. Equivalent Western Sign: Aries Year of The Horse: You've been blessed with a revivifying breath of fresh air when you welcome in the arrival of the Year of the Sheep. View this year as your playground where almost all the animal signs are friendly and every event enjoyable. Periods of rest are favoured and vacation planning should loom high on the list of your personal priorities. Love connections are easily forged but the sexy Dragon should take care as this year will bring individuals into your circle that may want too much of a commitment than you are prepared to give. This needn't be too negative, for the older you are the more you'll like it. Your buzzwords are home-comforts this year, for this is what the annum will bring for those of you who want to settle down. If you are ready to take root, this promises to be a stellar 12 months. Exercises that stimulate the mind-body connection will be most beneficial as well as water sports and country walks. Keeping a close eye on expenditures and you will finish the year in fine financial shape. Relationships: The Pig and the Goat/Sheep are the best long-term partners for you. Snakes and Roosters promise life long friends whilst the Rat/Mouse makes a good business partner. :+:Crying for you:+:

This Months Horoscopes [01 Dec 2003|07:28pm] [ mood | blah ] [ music | Spineshank = Violent Mood Swings ] The unexpected dividend of Mercury entering your sign on the 2nd and then turning retrograde on the 18th lengthens his stay. The plus factor is get away, if you're travelling, before he moves backwards. Not only will you remove stress and wind down before Christmas begins but you'll give yourself much more thinking time all of which you will need. New Year resolutions should be made at the very last minute, as you are apt to change your mind well into January. The New Moon following the Sun's entry into your sign proves that every cloud really does have a silver lining, and I suspect that with Jupiter in your house of luck and opportunity this birthday is going to open up a year of goodness in many areas. Only from the 16th should you guard against a macho man or dominating woman who wants their own way, perhaps you should put YOUR foot down and do your Christmas thing as YOU like it? :+:Crying for you:+:

This weeks Horoscopes [01 Dec 2003|07:25pm] [ mood | stressed ] [ music | Funeral For A friend = Rookie of the Year ] You've made your Christmas wish list and want to end the week with all the items crossed off as done and dusted, but stay flexible; the chances are you'll hit a snag and have to bide your time. Someone you hope to schedule a conference or social meeting with is likely to cancel at the last minute leaving you high and dry. You'll show how imaginative you can be and will shift gears without even blinking an eye if you have a 'Plan B' up your sleeve. :+:Crying for you:+:

Todays Horoscopes [01 Dec 2003|07:23pm] [ mood | annoyed ] [ music | Chimaira = Pure Hatred ] You're keeping busy, which makes you feel productive and responsible. Consider, though, how you may be missing some valuable learning opportunities. You have to be still sometimes in order to let new ideas take shape. Start questioning why you do things in a certain way all the time. Is there a more pleasurable way to go about your day? Are there more interesting things you can be doing besides chores? Make more time for hobbies. :+:Crying for you:+:

School Today [01 Dec 2003|07:10pm] [ mood | lonely ] [ music | Chimaira = Pure Hatred ] Right well where do I start? So today has been crap and funny...If that is making any sense. Well I had Maths first lesson and Graphics... Second lesson and to be honest they are shit lessons. So me, cara and Vicky bunked them both, second lesson we were standing outside and we got caught and were took up to isolation lol, but there wasn't enough tables so we got sent back out and were told to go to lesson and we had to go back to isolation at lunch, Did we?...No! Hmm well i don't care. I mean it's like there are more important things to life than doind stupid pathetic work at school that won't halp me in life anyway so yeah it's official...I HATE SCHOOL! Along with that me and Karl have had a huge fight over the weekend, He is being such a... I dunno, But he gets in these fucked up moods and then gets really depressed dragging everyone down with him and i can't handle him being like this. :'( But anyay he sent really hurting texts, even though they were so simple but i found them... Horrible! But i dunno, he cut himself aswell, and he knows that it really pissed me off and i want him to know too 'cause he dosen't realise how much i hate it. I really like him and i need things to start looking better 'cause i can't carry on like this... x x x :+:Crying for you:+:

Todays Horoscopes [30 Nov 2003|04:34pm] [ mood | blah ] Changing the way you view money could have some pleasing results. Sometimes you have difficulty spending resources on your own pleasure. By making an extra effort to pamper yourself, you may be pleasantly surprised. People will start opening up to you in ways they never have before. That's because it's always impressive to meet someone who treats themselves with kindness, consideration, and respect. Set a standard for others to follow. :+:Crying for you:+:

This weekend... [30 Nov 2003|04:21pm] [ mood | annoyed ] So this weekend i did loads. I stayed at Cara's Friday and Friday night we watched clueless, it's a really good film. But anyway on Sataday we went to Bedford i brought: Corset, Photos, Bag and i can't think what else, Oh Christmas prescents. So i stayed at Cara's again last night and we watched Pirates od the carrabean? I aint really sure how to spell that. Then today we went to Milton Keynes, I got: This phone thing, A coat and a hat... It's really nice. So i've had a good weekend! I Had a fight with Karl but this time i never done anything wrong. Basically i text him... He never replyed... I text him again, he never replyed! So i text again and then he replyed saying that he dosen't wanna talk! Well i got really arsey and he didn't like it but he shouldn't of spoke to me like that...But at the end of the day all i am...is his girlfriend! x x x :+:Crying for you:+:

Today... [26 Nov 2003|06:34pm] [ mood | irritated ] :'( Hmm it raind so much today... It was horrible i can't believe it although my hair didn't get all that frizzy :) I didn't see karl much, I did at break but the thing is, at break he dosen't seem in a cuddly mood like he does at lunch. But that's why i'm looking forward som much to the x-fets thing 'cause i'm hoping he'll be all sweet and caring. I know he cares about me...alot! But i really like boyfriends that are cuddly and that, thst always want to be with you and stuff, People say they don't like clingy boyfriends but...I do :) And Vicky's decided she wants to go and i'm guessing it's 'cause Joe Morris is going and she's buying this Punk Band top and hat so i think she's gonna go into that thing to try impress him like she did with Luke Porter lol... What a sad Bitch lol. So yeah, i guess me and cara are gonna have to put up with her... However, Cara usually stays with amanda and i'm usually with Karl, And i don't want her to get the impression i'm staying with her or she can tag along with me 'cause i'm gonna be with Karl and i don't want her to be standing there trying to link with me or anything. At the end of the day it's time for me to spend with Karl... Hmm i really wanna see him now, I wanna spend so much time with him it's wierd. I just have this feelin' that on the 6th at stotfold i'm not gonna be with him 'cause of her, she'll cling to me and i don't want her to... :+:Crying for you:+:

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