Crystal's Blurty

Subject:	:doo dooo: (thats the subway noise)
Time:	1:39 am.
Mood:	distressed.

i am sleepy.
i am glad to be going to bed instead of sitting online while i am tired

i had one of those get aggrivated at things days.
it was an alright day don't get me wrong.

but i woke up and was sad-
then, i had to wait 10 minutes for the bank to open once i got there.
i thoguht it was open already- and the lady gave me trouble, to cash a federal check!

I then was on the phone with Cole
Then, I got rear-ended.
It wasn't anything, but its not like I get rear-ended everyday.
(it was a kinda funny story to be written about later)

I got to school and I am afraid to ask my teacher for my paper back.
I got a good parking spot though. one for the ages.
seeing Jenn & Becky makes me sad.
Also, when my uncle asks things like "hows your boyfriend?" i say good, or "your not hanging out with your boyfriend tonight?" .. nope, not tonight. : /
class was fine
Cutzy got me lunch :)
more class was fine but math was frusterating and I didnt do as well on the exam as I thought.

That kid Allen talked to me and it was funny and some assorted peoples in history talked about 80s night.

el noche de 80s is tomorrow and I am glad for lunch tuesday.

I went to work and it was good.
I did a lot on my break-
I can't find my parking pass.
I got an 8 dollar salad. (it was so good.)
Also, that H&M belt and the Jet CD.
Becky was there and she seemed happy so it was nice to say hi after all

When I got home, I fell up the stairs.
I then took a shower and when I was drying my hair with a towel,
i knocked the whole curtain rod off the wall.
my knee hurts and I am going to bed.
[what a whiner]

Also, I just noticed i left my phone in my car.

I am 79% Emo

Holy gee whilikers... I am as emo as it gets... I will try to cheer the heck up and stop wiping my nose on my sweater...

Take the Emo Test at fuali.com

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Subject:	I should be sleeping.
Time:	3:05 am.
Mood:	discontent.
Music:	i am in the mood for quiet..

I should be sleeping.
I am so discontent.
Booooo.
I am feeling uncomforatable in my own skin.
It's been 3 weeks.
It is stinky.

I don't know why quizilla always is the solution to fill time consuming voids.

I want to be writing good and nice entrys badly, but I always get distracted or reminded of something.
expecially at the end of the night when things settle in and I am most alone.
One thing that I keep thinking of is how fun the Vineyard was and my Cutzy bonding time : )
she talked about me to her nail lady!!!
I almost died.
Today was nice- went to the pet store with my mom and dad. went to the mall with meg & mel. ate dinner at home. hung out.
Today is Adam's birthday and we watched super troopers.
but, am unable to go to bed.
I called Cole- but the kicker was it was semi-normal, and nice conversation.
and having that felt so nice, but it's not gonna happen all the time and it's not what it used to be.

He said he wasn't going anywhere.
what the hell.

gold heart

Heart of Gold

What is Your Heart REALLY Made of?
brought to you by Quizilla

Step 1: Open your MP3 player.
Step 2: Put all of your music on random.
Step 3: Write down the first ten songs it plays, no matter how embarrassing.

1. "the real slim shady" - eminem
2. "colt 45" - afroman
3. "crash" - Acapella, Brown Derbies?
4. "movies" - Alien Ant Farm
5. "Never There" - Cake
6. "All Systems Go" - Boxcar Racer
7. "Do the Devil" - I know who it is but it's not listed, bah. memory loss. Royal Crowns? something something.
8. "Uptown Girl" - Billy Joel
9. "put your hands where my eyes can see" - Bustha Rhymes
10. "sweet emotion" - Aerosmith

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Subject:	the 14 hours marathon
Time:	4:24 pm.
Mood:	thankful.
Music:	All American Rejects- Why Worry.

I know I have a bit of a cold
but sleeping for 14 hours is crazy!
The last time that happened was in teh dorm and it literally screw me up for days because I slept during the day, not the night. Eesh

It makes me sad I dont do this so much anymore.
But I guess it comes hand in hand with not wanting to think about whatevers going on.
It'll be 3 weeks tomorrow.
Honestly, thigns are going better.. ?
and I know it might not sound like much to you-
but yesterday I didnt talk to Cole or text him or anything.
I know why Cole keeps busy since it's what I'm doing..
but because of everything I've ever experinced except this time x1000
I am afraid he'll forget about me.
he says its not possible. semi-true.. but eehh

My moods are like a switch and some cosmic force I can't control uses it like a mother fucker.

I flip flop back and forth feeling better or worse
feeling better off or alone
feeling useless and productive all at the same time.

Ehh.. I dont want to talk about that anymore.

The vineyard was great
It really was exactly what I needed-
getting away and not being able to worry about anything
Plus, some shit went down at the store.. so I'm glad they coudln't call me since I was on an island. lol
There was lots of jokes that will go on for a long time and I want to buy Trivial Pursuit pop culture.
Also, kill Chris Kirkpatrick for having a for the win question about hsi god damn clothes line. >:O

el noche de 80s was also great
It was revolutionary!
I guess. lol
It was such a good time
Then Meg & Al & I went to Dunkin' Donuts for a long time
he took a picture of me holding a sheep to come up whenever I call him- lol
and of Meg's boobs for her.

I got a roll of pictures back and they are random and good
Irritatingly however, there is a very nice one of Cole & I
hoo ha.
smile because it happened.
(look at me going back to this)
Everyone is coming out of the wood work giving me their opinion on Cole and its okay, I suppose- but when all they say is negative it makes me sad that people were thinking it all along, ya know?
I mean I liked him and he might have some flaws but what I felt was what sort of really mattered.
If people don't like him or if he was mean to me it would be one thing-
but, eeh. : (

I miss Cole a lot.
however, a scary question I asked myself was do I miss him or the things we had.
I know I really do love him, but.
Its something to think about I guess.

Things are going strong and I couldn't be more greatful to know such good people and have such good friends.
Honestly, I know I'e done it- but it amazes me sometimes how people can be so compassionate
I'm not saying the people I know lack that feature-
But.. people who usually don't show emotion is such a way, caring for you and relating if possible.. its nice.
I've been meaning to write a latter to everyone I know, a general one of thanks-
I think I'll do it later and give them out monday.

Lots of things bother me time to time.
little things.
(it's always the little things)

It's killing me
forget about it.

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Subject:	what bad times.
Time:	3:37 pm.
Mood:	depressed.
Music:	Saves the Day- Rocks Tonic Juice Magic.

I know it's terribly depressing.
I havent written in so long and now I come back in crisis.

I have no money, until today I had no car
I have no returned love and I have no idea what to do.

..if i could only see you now for about an hour..

so Cole broke up with me on saturday
he called me at work and was planning on picking me up but I knew something was wrong and I couldn't stand it.
it sort of happened on the phone and I asked Julie if I could go home een thoguh it was kind of lame but I coudlnt leave.
I did at 4 and he picked me up and I sat in the car and cried for about 3 hours.
It was really terrible.
when Ic ame inside my parents asked me why it was only me and Is aid they woiuldnt be seeing Cole around that much anymore.

it's a long story, I guess?
but I'm pretty devistated.
How can you be in love with someone and then just have it leave?
I guess lots of people go through this..
but Cole & I were very built up and not to bring it down but he pushed it to be serious on some levels
I feel very ripped off and very set up
I know he cares about me and didn't want ot hurt me and he'd rather have me hate him for breakingup with me than hate him for him treating me liek crap down the road
Just in the world of Crystal Guibeau its not everyday you talk abotu what it owuld be like to marry someone and then say, oh- just kidding.

its understandable.. ?
but I can't accept it.
I call him whenever I think about him and text him constantley.
As hard as it is to deal with and as crappy a situation is it-
he;s been the closest person to me for a while now..
and now I am lost.

I just really hate that he doesnt want to tell me he loves me because he dopesnt know what he's feeling.
I mean.. just all of a sudden no love.
he doesnt want to lead me on or ask me to wait.
i've felt some of the thigns he's felt before.. but he's not ready is the problem.

like when we are together its wonderful, and i love it and he said he does too
but when we're not together we dont worry about the other..
or in groups, it is not that fun.
but eventually a line would br drawn and there would be 2 seperate lives.
I tried so hard to get into his and he was so into mine and I wanted it taht way but now I'm getting a slap in the face for letting someone get so in and so close to everything .

My grandma likes Cole a lot.
and she asked how he was yesterday and I said he was fine :(

I am very sad.
and I do not know what to do.

I can't imagine anything but him, right?
I know things change but I can't help feeling wicked lost right now-
I;m pretty sure that I wouldnt be able to love someone else not like him

he said he'd liek to think when he's ready it'll all work out
but he todl me he knows that he might turn around one day and I wont be there.
its very depressing.

I like knowing he is upset and I don't care how mean it sounds.
I wish he was more upset.
upset and sad enoguh to take it back.

but it's already gone.

I hardly eat
I only fall asleep when I'm exhausted from being strung out
and last night I honestly think I didn't fall asleep I think I passed out.
I only ate half of a muffin and a thing of mac & cheese form popeyes..
I felt really light headed and I couldn't see much and I layed down and then it was 10 oclock this morning.

seeing Andy Jenn and Tom today made me sad.

Let me take this awkward saw
And run it against your thighs
Cut some flesh away
I'll carry this piece of you with me
Because all I can say tonight
is that I hate you
But it would be all right
If we could see each other sometime
If I could somehow make you mine
And if not I'll take my rusty spoons
And dig out your blue eyes
I'll swallow them down to my colon
They're gonna burn like hell tonight
Because you're beautiful
Just not on the inside
Light comes from within
And your beaming eyes don't seem so bright
My heart is on the floor
Why don't you step on it?
When I think of all the things you've done
Boardwalks and breaking waves
Made our Saturdays
I'd buy you lemonade right now
if you were here
But then I'd throw it in your face
And I'd listen to you cry
And I'd remember how I miss
our nights under ocean skies
You and I are like when fire
and the ocean floor collide.

I am glad I have friends.
Everyone has been really nice and surprizingly well an either knowing me and hwo I am or just being good at not bringing it up at inopportune times.
getting voicemail from people that I didn't expect to get it from
random adivce, or just people telling me they'll listen if I need it..

"what do you do when you have boy problems?"
"Uhh.. I smoke pot"

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Subject:	one more reason to love Canada. (see Bowling for Columbine)
Time:	1:30 pm.
Mood:	grumpy.
Music:	quiet surroundings with fierce typing.

I just payed $36.09 for a prescription and I am pissed about it.

My insurance is top notch. My Mom works at the hospital and the covereage is so I only pay $5 for any prescription needs, $10 for a doctors visit, and $25 for an emergency room visit.

Because prescription drugs are becoming so expensive, because they can-
I recieved a notice in the mail saying that now, only generic drugs would be $5 and any prefered (name brand)drug would be $20. A Doctor's visit would cost me $15 and an emergency room stop would hit me for $50.

However I was never informed that for some reason my coverage was terminated.

I know I am covered.
My mom has a family plan-
thus I am covered as long as I'm in college no matter how old I am.
For some reason they cut off at 19.
Someone messed up, even thoguh proof of me being a full time student was shown.

I only had 36.09 in my wallet, ironically.
So I walked out of CVS pennyless.
Because of some major company mess up.
I suppose this is what everyday is though.

I am angry more so because I know that I have a huge up on most people.
I am able to have a very good health insurance plan because of my Mothers 20 or something years at the hospital.
I have a job that I get payed $8.50 and make an average of $150 a week.
and I'm angry about 36 dollars?
What about people who can't afford good coverage in the first place,
and then have to pay out the ass for prescriptions?
I've been trying to save money to fix my car and I'm mad that put a small notch into the bigger scheme
but I have a car right?
So why am I so uptight about it?

I wish I was in Canada.
Health needs for all.
Everyone has the right to live and should be able to do so in good health.

I feel as if America will push out all of it's less weathy people,
or atleast shaft them into lower ranked areas and then the seperation of lower class, middle class and upper class will become only upper class and lower class.

The middle class I exist in will not exist at some point in the US of A
It will be rich or poor and thats it... and I'm pretty sure of that.

As much as I live my life as if it is not,
America is still Black or White
..Left or Right.
Right or wrong.
etc.

I woke up grumpy and now I have been made grumpier.
It's not very often this happens but what are ya gonna do.

sidenote: i know some people don't like Michael Moore and I understand why or atleast see why, so if you don't like Bowling for Columbine or my ideal Canada, I'm sorry- but even so, you have to see that there is information in there that is very relevant and important that most Americans do not know.

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Subject:	the other day I was shafted mid-entry
Time:	4:26 pm.
Mood:	peaceful.
Music:	Bitch & Animal.

explorer closed on me and I completley forget what I wanted to write about the other day.
Boo that!

Today I got up at 11 or so, which I was glad about since I dont go to bed until 3 or 4 and dont wake up until 1ish. I'm glad I got up.
I made oatmeal and watched some TLC and then head out to pay my parking and buy some things.
I ran into Chris Paddock and Bill Klitzke and was glad :)
We talked and got ice cream

A long few years ago I got a free poster for Bitch & Animal and I took it for astetic reasons, I had no clue of who they were or anything. It's on my door still and today in Newbury Comics it landed my eye so I just bought it. I twas the only one and I took it as a sign to get it and I did.
I'm very pleased with it-
I'd like Meg to hear it
I also got The Singles, No Doubt-
and CP said "Crystal, don't you have all those anyway?" and I said
"Damn it." But I bought it anyways. It was on sale for $9.99.

I was going to buy a video game but decided against it.
To lazy-
so now I'm back here steadily cleaning and playing Harvest Moon and joyfully listening to Bitch & Animal
I plan on having macaroni and cheese for dinner
before going to Big Fish with everyone I know and their mom. lol
I am excited but I fear the worst that maybe even though we get there early we can't go, or some people can't go.
I fear it a lot since people are excited, but it does say there is no promised seating-
:fear:
I don't want people to be sad on account of me-
I mean it's not my fault but you know.

Back to cleaning-

what was that
was it me
what just hit me
like a ton
just when you think
you're done being shown

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Subject:	bored- waiting to go to Mel's
Time:	8:54 pm.
Mood:	bored.
Music:	Salt'n'Peppa- Push It.

NUMBER ONE.

1.) using band/artist names, spell out your name
Cindy Lauper
Reggie and the Full Effect
Yani
Save Ferris
Taking Back Sunday
Alanis Morisette
Less Than Jake

Guster
Usher
Incubus
Beyonce
Evanesence
Ani Difranco
U2

2) have you ever had a song written about you? - yep
3) what song makes you cry? - mmm, it depends- a few though. Everlong is a good one. Teh Luckiest- Ben Folds
4) what song makes you happy? - "Like a Prayer" Madonna
5) what do you like to listen to before bed? - nothing in particular

a p p e a r a n c e
height: 5'5" or 5'6"
hair color: dark brown/black
skin color: light
eye color: brown
piercings: ears, nose, traigas
tattoos: nothin yet

r i g h t n o w
what color pants are you wearing?: pants!? what pants?
what song are you listening to?: Fiona Apple- Criminal
what taste is in your mouth?: nothing, chapped lip taste?
what's the weather like?: blustery
how are you?: good, excited, glad
get motion sickness?: negative, however the back of a tour bus for a bunch of hours gets to me so only in lots amounts of exposure
have a bad habit?: i scratch my head a lot, liek chronically
like to drive?: and how

f a v o r i t e s
tv show: adult swim
conditioner: whatev. Herbal Essences is always a winner though
book: the midwife's apprentice, lol- ManifestA (content not quality)
non alcoholic drink: i like pink lemonade a lot
alcoholic drink: sex on the beach, pina coladas and really stong margaritas
thing to do on the weekend: sleeep

h a v e y o u
broken the law: yes [cronic speeder]
ran away from home: negative
snuck out of the house: no need
ever gone skinny dipping: mhmm
ever tipped over a porta potty: =P no
used your parents' credit card before: my mom just got me one instead
skipped school before: yes
fell asleep in the shower/bath: negative
been in a school play: for like 5 minutes

l o v e
boyfriend/girlfriend: yep
sexuality: does it really matter anyways?
children: :shakes in fear:
current crush: uhm.. I'd hope Cole. lol
been in love: i like to think i have been
had a hard time getting over someone: ha! yes.
been hurt: like a fat kid in dodgeball
your greatest regret: none so far
gone out with someone you only knew for three days: yeah

r a n d o m
do you have a job: yes
your cd player has in it right now: Brand New- Deja Entendu
if you were a crayon what color would you be?: Cerulean blue! it's everyones
what makes you happy: food. lol and happiness.
who makes you happiest: me, since i have to know what i want to be happy about
what's the next cd you're gonna get?: no doubt or outkast

w h e n / w h a t w a s t h e l a s t
time you cried: meeh, few days- week ago?
you got a real letter?: few days ago, christmas ones
you got e-mail: every .5 seconds from crap@crap.com
thing you purchased: bra
tv program you watched: the news = P with my parents
movie you saw in the theater: :think think: OH The Last Samuri

y o u r t h o u g h t s o n
abortion: pro-choice
teenage smoking: tobacco is whacko if your a teen
spice girls: freakin' awesome.
dreams: i like them a lot

NUMBER TWO.

1)What did you do in 2003 that you'd never done before? had/have a relationship for more than 3 months. lol
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? uhhm, i made one before but i forget so it shows how important it was. lol
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? my mom? lol
4. Did anyone close to you die? yeah :( i thoguht of her a lot recently too
5. What countries did you visit? Canada!
6. What would you like to have in 2004 that you lacked in 2003? a pants size of 8 or 10
7. What date from 2003 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? - :blank:
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? doing good this semster, catching up
9. What was your biggest failure? uhhh, nothing?
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? I like illed myself playing lazer tag, lol
11. What was the best thing you bought? errmm.. uhmm.. lots of things
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration? what??
13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed? ermmm.. i cant think of any.
14. Where did most of your money go? car, as far as the most, or food/clothes
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? lots of little things, I got very excited for my birthday and christmas presents form people
16. What song will always remind you of 2003? probably GOD?!?! or Beyonce or Hey Ya
17. Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder? happier, i'd like to say i always get happier since i'm always learning more- therefore makin better choices
ii. thinner or fatter? FUCK YOU AND YOUR HARSH WORDS. I may be retaining water. lol
iii. richer or poorer? richer, i make more and have learned to save more
18. What do you wish you'd done more of? hung out with more people
19. What do you wish you'd done less of? uhhmm
20. How will you be spending Christmas? with family and friends :)
22. Did you fall in love in 2003? indeed :)
23. How many one night stands? actually in march, which doesnt seem like this year. but it was jsut very VERY random maing out with Tim Olivo. lol who knew?
24. What was your favourite TV program? adult swim
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? i dont hate anyone
26. What was the best book you read? WE ALREADY TALKED ABOUT THIS
27. What was your greatest musical discovery? erff uhmm
28. What did you want and get? less acne? lol
29. What did you want and not get? uhh a million dollars?
30. What was your favourite film of this year? hmm THE LIZZIE MOVIE. lol
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? 19, had people over for risk and s'mores fun
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Cole I suppose
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2003? more involved
34. What kept you sane? blank stare
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Gwen Stefani!
36. What political issue stirred you the most? Bush and the abortion laws thing- I thoguht it was pretty interesting to hear about
37. Who did you miss? Sara, sinc ei only saw her liek 5 times
38. Who was the best new person you met? erff uhmm
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2003. lol, its like all emo- to watch my steps and make sure they are evenly dispersed.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

I don't get many things right the first time
In fact, I am told that a lot
Now I know all the wrong turns, the stumbles and falls
Brought me here

And where was I before the day
That I first saw your lovely face?
Now I see it everyday
And I know

That I am
I am
I am
The luckiest

What if I'd been born fifty years before you
In a house on a street where you lived?
Maybe I'd be outside as you passed on your bike
Would I know?

And in a white sea of eyes
I see one pair that I recognize
And I know

That I am
I am
I am
The luckiest

I love you more than I have ever found a way to say to you

Next door there's an old man who lived to his nineties
And one day passed away in his sleep
And his wife; she stayed for a couple of days
And passed away

I'm sorry, I know that's a strange way to tell you that I know we belong
That I know

That I am
I am
I am
The luckiest

I hope I did all this
later!

Comments: Add Your Own.

Subject:	busy holiday goodness
Time:	2:51 pm.
Mood:	cheerful.
Music:	Britney- I'm a slave for you.

So last night Kacie had her birthday part and all was good :)
I was surprized to see Matt and Adam there at first but it made sence and all so I was over it and it was very nice to see/talk to them
It was really fun alst night seeing everyone
talking to Hailey was funny too : )
Dave is a funny kid and he goes to school in Canada so he's way neat
Kacie's friends from school all seem very nice and they are friendly
Kess had to leave early because of Pumpkin but it was good to see her too
I LOVE PUMPKIN
I was really glad
so many people were there!!
Kate Monique & Krys were there too and they are always good funny company

good times

I'm excited for 80s night tonight since everyone and their Mom is going
(wouldn't it be aweosme if Kacie's Mom went?)

Everyone wants me to convert to livejournal!
but I like my blurty
and not everyone just search me so easy
oh well
I like this one!

I miss Martin

Christmas was good
I hung out wiht my parents in the am and then went to my G-ma's in the afternoon
at night I went to Sara's like usual and we had fun there too
We played wizard of Oz trivia and Sara won-
Emma and the horsies and kitties are all good
Pat is funny and I' glad him & Sara are together
I had a good conversation with him while Sara was in th shower

FRENCH TOAST MADE WITH EGG NOG IS BANGIN'

Uhmm
I hung out with Cole Christmas eve and it was good
he got me a BIG panda and Sweet Home Alabama and Nickel & Dimed

! The dat after christmas, or the day after after I forget
Me, Meg Faye & Gret hung out to exchange presents and have the four of us shananagans
Oh My God.
Was is wonderful- lol
it was awesome
We exchanged presents and I LOVED my prensets from everyone
I'm so glad about all of them
Faye made me a shirt and a hat and I love them both they are comfy
and Meg got me a Wicke dpretty necklace and wind-up sushi that my Mom likes too, lol
Gret got me magnetic pirate adventure fun and the fuzzy beanie baby panda I wanted! and a wind up cat on a bike who nods his head no, lol and some wierd eye ball pen- lol

Our shananagans were hilarious
we drove around stealing as many cones as we could and we wrote Mayhem on them to go with
OPERATION GAYHEM.
:)
Faye got dragged outside of the car and it was pee your pants funny ; )
We also changed the signs on Oakland Beach shcool to say Mayhem, lol
it was a really really funny night and we visited Jimmy and that's when it started

I wonder how Matt Silva is doing.
[random]
and like Meg Sully and Alex and co.

What else is there..
I'm excited for new years eve tomorrow
I have to work but I'll be out at 7.
Casio Cutz, hehe : )

I guess I'm done now but all is well
thank you for your time

[I strongly dislike the workers of the Bursars Office at RIC]

Comments: Add Your Own.

Subject:	Christmas Party Wonderfulness
Time:	12:54 am.
Mood:	thankful.
Music:	Outkast- Hey Ya.

So, we've all been deliberating the happenings of our Christmas Party-
and let's talk about how successful it was.

I had such a wonderful time.
I've very glad that we did our treasures in trash, love notes in a bag instead of exchanging gifts.
It was much more valuable to me than anything-
to know people think about you, and in such appreciative ways is phenomenal.
Getting together with everyone happened at such a good time, and also- how Cole wasn't there but everyone asked made me happy that like everyone was interested-
I know that sounds wierd or like I dont think people would ask, but I hope that makes sence. lol
It was so wonderful.
Eating WICKED good food.
Having WICKED good company.
There were so many funny things that happened
I'm just sad I didn't have a better camera.
Tubaruba was funny
Cutzys knee thing was amazing, lol
!!!!!!
it was just wonderful.
Plus meg liked my apple pie.

Also today,
Meg came over earlier so we could work on Gretchen & Faye's christmas presents
and then visit Fatty at the St.Germain Christmas Party
MAANN Did Fatty hate us.
He was NOT in the Christmas spirit, lol
but I was happy to see his flubie self all the same.

My Mom kept bugging me about being upset today,
and I don't usually like to talk about upsetting things right after they happen-
I like to talk when I'm ready and, it may sound typical but really the less I talk about something- the better, to stop briging it up and thinking off more things you know?
So I was getting aggrivated but it's not until now that she really was just trying to help.
My Mom and I don't have such a hot relationship in the Mom/Daughter department so when she tries to pry information out of me I get in a tiff since she has never been to involved; but she's here for me and I'm happy
I suppose I should let her in on some things from time to time.
We'll see..

Everyday is a lesson in humility.

and I am thankful :)

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Subject:	to walk within the lines would make my life so boring I want to know that I have been to the extreme
Time:	6:26 pm.
Mood:	good.
Music:	Avril!! Anything but ordinary.

Let's review-

I switched with Bill for his tuesday for my wednesday- So I had 4 days off and it was liek vacation. lol
I loved it-
I hung out and enjoyed my lack of work
Friday night was lazer tag night!
Meg didn't come but Matt & his friend Afton came and Cole & I went and his lazergate friends were there too and Andy!
Andy stole me some pink lemonade at the end of the night
I had a wicked good time though but I's so incredibly fat kid sore. haha
it's good for me though, but it was gard to walk on saturday and sunday. lol
today is alright-
We hads ltos of fun and I played 5 games and one time I got 4th out of 29! woot!
After me, Andy P, Andy F and Cole went to Bickfords

Saturday I hung out with Meg in the momrnig for a bit and we went to visit Gretchen and have taco bell for lunch and then visit Jimmy and bring him cosmic brownies and his girlfriend made faces. lol
After that was Cole's work christmas party
It was really nice and we went to the Abbey grill, I got to meet alll of his work homies more and it was funny-
they kept buying him JD & coke because they wanted to get him drunk and once they were drunk they kept calling me Velma because at work they call Cole Shaggy. lol

Sunday i opened and let me tell you
I had the best mother fucking time. lol
I loved it!
that's all I have to say
Barbara came in and I was liek pfft! everythign is done!
and I made waffles cones.
I found out the work party was at Unos later so Joe said to invite Cole and I did so Cole came to pick me up at work since my Dad drove me and we batteled the snow and got abck
he played final fantasty for a while and then we head back to the mall-
Than, CP, Miranda, Feeny, Bill, Giselle, Dorothoy, Joel, Cole and I were there- and Joe and Julie
we all got movie passes, and $50 for scoopervisors-
oh oh and Barbara and Pat showed up late too.
Joe LOVED HIS BARBIE VESPA!
lol
he said he would set it up because he thoguht it was so cool and so neat that it was the same and I am glad! : ) Julie liked her socks too expecially the pink fuzzy ones I figured she would like.

I am glad all around
today I hung out in the house watching movies
girl movies.
Sweet Home Alabama, Miss. Congeniality, and Lizzie- lol
it was awesome
I wrapped presents and made cookies!
I plan on studying a bit for enviro which is on wednesday and tomorrow John Meg & I have a study group at noon for comp at 4!
woo!
I'm in a very good and glad mood
it's about time!

"I 'less than 3' you" ahahaha a.k.a "I <3 you"

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Subject:	"holy fucking shit"
Time:	12:48 am.
Mood:	sad.
Music:	Blur- Coffee and TV.

I saw something on the way home that made me very sad.

I was driving on the way home from Cole's house and past exit 25 or so I was turning around the corner and saw red.
As I got closer I noticed it was fire.
closer... I noticed it was a car on fire.
and I mean, on fire.
Flames roaring to the height of telephone poles and ambers floating higher than the highway light posts.
a car 50 yards in front of them
a firetruck speeding the the scene behind me.
and I thought
"holy fucking shit"
Then, I moved to the middle lane, since they were in the breakdown and had a blazing inferno
it was so hot when I drove by.
So freaking hot.
before I was cold and I put into reality that it was 22 degrees out and it made me want to take my jacket off.
I thought it was hot?? I did??
Fuck that, what if I was in that car?
then I was just like god damn, I'm glad its not me
or someone I know
but it still made me wicked fucking sad that it was happening to someone as I was happily singing in my car and ready to go home to my nice bed.
the doors flung open... someone was in their car, perhaps almost burning to death and there I was thinking about how I didn't want to get up for work.

I'm sure stuff like this, as far as parallel instances happens 24/7
but it's not everyday I hardcore get a reason to think about it.
Maybe I make it that way,
but I'm sure you can all see what I'm saying.

Sorry to be so depressed but it did just happen minutes ago

Ironically I had a very good day-
but I'd kinda feel like an ass if I wrote about it right now..
tomorrow; or soon.

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