| kiss me | ||||
| 11:13am 13/04/2004 | ||||
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wow i haven't updated in a long time. I dont really know what to say either. Friday im not coming to school because im going to Maryland for a vacation. Im acually looking forward to it. Mace Dawg is coming with me. Its going to be oh so much fun. I will miss my Shaunathon very much. I hope he'll be ok without me. I hope i will be too. I get to see him tomorrow. His grandpa is picking him up right after school then coming to my house. He can stay to like 10. WOOOHOOO this excites me. Then thursday he will be at my house right when i get home. But then he has to leave at 5ish. =( i'll have to go a week without seeing him. ARFFF. Some good news, Shaun and i have been getting along very well lately. Im so glad. Dude, hawaii is going to be amazing. can't even freakin wait. You have no idea. alright im just babbling on now. kiss me on the forehead, angel, im going to sleep |
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| 1 ♥ understand? | ||||
| ... | ||||
| 04:38pm 08/04/2004 | ||||
| make sure you dont miss. READY..... SET..... shoot it already bitch. | ||||
| understand? | ||||
| dying | ||||
| 09:53pm 01/04/2004 | ||||
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Im dying inside. Im more depressed then ever this year. I basically wanna die. This hasn't happened since last year. I dont like this at all. everyone insists on giving me a really hard time. Lately all i do is sleep. And when im not sleeping or at school, im crying. Depression? i think so. Thanks shaun for helping me through this. it means a fucking lot. this is one of the times i need you the most and you rather watch tv? and when i hang up.. you dont call me back? shows how much you care. Tonight i think im gonna go for a looooong ass walk and think about everything. Then tomorrow im gonna figure out whether or not im staying at the shit whole or not. i dont think i'll be going to shauns this weekend. i might go to chelseys house instead. id rather be with someone who truely cares and makes me feel better. oh i love her. i wish i could marry her. hah. perfect weather.... freezing and raining. woot. maybe ill get sick. even fucking better. craving for a ciggarette |
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| understand? | ||||
| i hate fat bitches | ||||
| 12:28pm 01/04/2004 | ||||
I HATE FAT BITCHES |
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| understand? | ||||
| 09:30am 27/03/2004 | ||||
movie you rented = Seven movie you bought = thirteen(acually my sister bought it for me, heh) song you listened to = throwdown - declare your war song that was stuck in your head = girls just wanna have funnnnnn cd you bought = a trustkill record cd cd you listened to = boys night out person you called = umm prolly shaun last night person who called you = mom tv show you watched = i dont watch much tv person you were thinking of = Shaunieee DO... you have a crush on someone = of course you wish you could live somewhere else = hell yeah others find you attractive = dont know you want more piercings = YESS YESS you like cleaning = sometimes you like roller coasters = yes you write in cursive or print = print long distance relationships = i have one. :-/ using someone = I have. no more. killing people = noooo teenage smoking = nooooo driving drunk = nooooo soap operas = ewwww HAVE YOU... ever cried over a boy/girl = too many times. ever lied to someone = Yes ever been in a fist fight = Yes ever been arrested = no way WHAT... shampoo do you use = whatever ones my mommmmy buys shoes do you wear = so many... converse, vans, etnies, hawks, adidas scared of = being alone NUMBER... of times I have been in love? = twice of times I have had my heart broken? = ahhhh 489320482304238942 times of hearts I have broken? = not sure of times my name has appeared in the newspaper? = None of scars on my body? = 15 on purpose. :( of things in my past that I regret? = ahhhh SOOO MUCH! ive fucked up bad DO YOU THINK YOU ARE... funny = can be hot = ewwww no. friendly = Yes amusing = yes loveable = of course caring = Yes sweet = most times dorky = very muchly PERSON WHO LAST... slept in your bed = Shaun saw you cry = Shaun made you cry = Shaun you went to the movies with = Shaun yelled at you = mom sent you an email = mom HAVE YOU EVER... said "I love you" and meant it = of course. to all my friends, family, and a few boys. gone out in public in your pajamas = yeah, i dont care wat ppl think kept a secret from everyone = yup cried during a movie = i think so planned your week based on the TV Guide = Uh....No been on stage = yes been to New York = Yes been to California = nope been to Hawaii = going for 3 weeks this summa baby been to Japan = love to been to Canada = No been to Europe = love you been to Asia = love to been down South = florida what time is it now = 9:48 AM apples or bananas = apple blue or red = red walmart or target = target spring or fall = spring What are you gonna do after you finish this = get back in bed with shaun(hes still sleepin) what was the last meal you ate = bowl of lucky charms are you bored = uhhh not really last noise you heard = Brianne talking to me last smell you sniffed= the marshmellows in my bowl FRIENDSHIP AND LOVE... do you believe in love at first sight = Yes do you want children one day & if so, how many = 2, 1 boy and 1 girl (the boy older so he can watch out for his sister) most important thing to you in a friendship is = Trust OTHER INFO... criminal record = No do you speak any other languages = nope last book you read = lord of the flies for english name some of your favorite things in your bedroom = pictures of shaun, bed, clothes, posters who you love = Shaun, friends and family who you miss = Anthony nickname(s) = licie, so many from shaun. heh initials = AJP how old do you look = 16 how old do you act = 16, i hope glasses/contacts = No braces = No do you have any pets = 6 bunnies, 2 cats, 2 fish, 1 hamptser you get embarrassed = yes what makes you happy = friends, shaun, new stuff what upsets you = people FINISH THE SENTENCE... i love to...sleep i miss... my old life i wish... I had psychic powers i am... cold i want to be... In bed right now with shaun i would never... trust people so easily again i'd rather... Be at a school with my friends i am tired of... ericas shit i will always be... in love with Shaun |
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| understand? | ||||
loved| feeeeeeling like shit | ||||
| 05:55pm 23/03/2004 | ||||
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im sick. i just wanna curl up in a ball and cry. Everything is going wrong with my family. i dont know what to do. Everything thats going on, shouldn't involve me. BUT they all put it on me. G_A_Y! Shaun and i are good. i still love that boy more then anything. Hes doing great. im happy with the way hes been acting. He tells me hes trying soooo hard. Im glad. Yet i think it should be natural. He shouldn't have to try to get along with me. He should have to try to treat me good. oh well. love me. tell me you want to be with me forever. show me everything will be ok. thank you for being there. |
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| understand? | ||||
| 11:33am 22/03/2004 | ||||
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cramps... they are killing me. I started the patch birth control yesterday. weekend was great. Sunday we had a little conflict. Other then that Shaun and i got along amazing. I love it when its just us. I need to figure out whats going on for this weekend. Nikkie - funny, nice, fun to talk to, CUTIE!!!! 37 times. :) |
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| understand? | ||||
| gar | ||||
| 10:41am 15/03/2004 | ||||
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| understand? | ||||
tired| venting time for the phsyco one. | ||||
| 04:28pm 12/03/2004 | ||||
I know there is something going on that i dont know of. Behind my back. ive been so loyal. And you can't fucking afford to mess up again. Hes gonna go to that party tonight and have a good time. forget all about me. I DONT FUCKING MEAN SHIT TO HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM GONNA FUCKING SLIT YOUR THROAT. YOU'VE FUCKED UP TO MANY GOD DAMN TIMES!!!! I SWEAR TO GOD IF I SEE ANYONE IM GONNA KICK THEIR ASS. IM LITERALLY UNCONTROLABLE RIGHT NOW. i just wanna see your deep red blood on the cracked floor. i dont even wanna see that ass tomorrow. or ever! for a long time. "ok well im gonna take a nap" - ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID???? WHEN IM CRYING MY EYES OUT. YOU DONT LEAVE ME. ITS CALLED BEING TEHRE FOR YOUR FUCKED UP GIRLFRIEND. I CAN SEE THE BLOOD STAINS ON THE FLOOR |
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| 2 ♥ understand? | ||||
| oi oi oi oi ska girl on the run | ||||
| 09:58am 10/03/2004 | ||||
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| understand? | ||||
worried| Fuck you too | ||||
| 02:47pm 09/03/2004 | ||||
Last night shaun told me he didn't wanna see me today. he said he wanted to hang out with Ian instead. As much as that hurt... i tried not to think of it. Then this morning he tells me he will call me if hes home still when i come home from school. When i got home I waited 15 extra min. Then called him... he said he didn't call b/c he was supposed to have been picked up already. ok now thats the first problem..... who cares if ur not suppose to be there. YOU ARE THERE! why couldn't you just call me?? he acts like its a chore or something. I guess i understand now that you dont like talking to me. alright heres the rest of it.... i ask him what hes doing and he said he was going to the mall with Ian, Corrin and some other chick. then going to Ians house later. so i told him i would let him go... and he said alright. so then i hung up. yeah...... thanks for choosing them over me.. so you can go to the mall. thanks for asking me how my day is, like we always do. Thanks for not talking to me till your ride got there. GOD!!!!!! i fucking hate this shit. DAMNIT! good job fucking up again. as the saying goes: three strikes your out.. well you only have one left. Use it wisely. i feel like a stupid peice of shit. And the only person that can make me feel better.... is the person who made it worst. im calling matt.... and im gonna chill with him later... and i fucking hope he rapes me! |
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| understand? | ||||
pissed off| weet | ||||
| 09:07am 07/03/2004 | ||||
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So yeah the show was oh so fun! i had a good time. other then the situation between shaun and i. but we worked everything out. like always. I got to see lacey, brenda, shaun, chelsey, jeff, kay kay, brit and other oh so cool people. Yesterday i had a game at 2... thats about all i did. today i have a game at 3. YEEEAP! 33, fuck you. |
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| understand? | ||||
| word | ||||
| 11:11am 04/03/2004 | ||||
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today is going by quite slow....GRR. i was ready Kate's Journal.. and i feel TERRIBLE for her. She needs to get out of that relationship now. But i highly dought that she will listen to me. I feel like i never write how im feeling anymore... i dont know how im feeling ne more. Umm... i still am in MAD love. Shauns more amazing then ever. I just hate not seeing him during the week. BUT i get to see him tomorrow. Makes me sooooooo happy. Were going to a show also. Even though i just want some alicia and shaun time. hmph oh well. i keep loosing my thoughts. i can't concentrate anymore. i'll try later. |
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| understand? | ||||
| I get to see shaun today | ||||
| 10:41am 02/03/2004 | ||||
| im not sure what to say n e more. Things are going very well. Shaun and i are really good. Kim and i hung out yesterday. we went to friendlys and had a talk. Chelsey and matthew broke up. I knew he was gonna screw her over. I told her right in the beginning. hmmm people just dont listen to me. Andrew is picking up Vanessa today so im going with them and Andrew is bringing me to Shauns house. =) makes me really happy. Then this weekend i get to hang out with him allll weekend. YAY! im prolly getting my industrial done saturday. other then all that... nothing is new at all. | ||||
| understand? | ||||
| comments | ||||
| 02:26pm 25/02/2004 | ||||
HERES AN EXAMPLE: alica. why do you insit on counting the number of times you and shaun have sex on the bottom of your blurty like anyone besides you or shaun cares? that's your personal business, you don't need to tell the whole world about it. lets think what the point of a journal is.... Its something to keep your PERSONAL thoughts in. It isn't like i put my journal in my profile for the whole world. No1 ever reads this besides shaun and my best of friends(which apperently your not). And if it bothers you sooo much then dont read it. its just that easy. twenty god-damn fucking eight. (28) 28, 28, 28, 28, 28 GET OVER IT. ITS MY FUCKING JOURNAL. ANOTHER EXAMPLE(kims journal): yeah, sean doesn't really like you. he only said he did because he was horny and wanted to hook up with you. he wouldn't get over lauren that fast, he TRUELY liked her, and you're just an easy bitch. (my comment) HAHAHAHA that comment up there makes me piss my pants from laughing so hard. Kim didn't like Sean either you stupid fag. She did it for the same reasons Sean did. She was "horny" and i think its sooooo funny that you call kim an easy bitch. if you think a peck on the lips is being easy... you must be a prude peice of shit. HAHAHAHA i still can't get over how incredibly dumb someone like you can be. bitch. Oh and im not gonna be a Pussy like you and not leave me name. Proudly, Alicia |
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| 1 ♥ understand? | ||||
frustrated| fucking up his life. were over | ||||
| 08:45pm 24/02/2004 | ||||
xXx Ride 413 xXx: because of what i put you through AJPPIE2: do u really see it. or do u think im over exaggerating? be honest xXx Ride 413 xXx: i think your over exaggerating the whole your the only one that tries thing..because everyweekend...everytime i think i might be able to get a ride i try even if i know they are going to say no...and i always find a way there and what not. unless i absolutely can't. and i know you don't have many ways of transportation but i still believe your not the only one trying if i go and do that every weeked AJPPIE2: first of all. dont say ur sorry if your not. Then u always tell me that you try sooo hard. Well ive relized you only try during the weekends. But thats not all that matters. So is it we only have a relationship during the weekend? AJPPIE2: im not asking to see you during the week.... xXx Ride 413 xXx: i never said that i thought that..... i'm the one always calling you...if you want to talk, call me. seriously if you need to talk call me. if i'm doing something i usually drop it to talk to you xXx Ride 413 xXx: but alot of times i have so much to do AJPPIE2: it seems you have to much of a life for me during the week. i feel like you totally forget about me.... oh but at night when ur not busy u'll call me xXx Ride 413 xXx: i have such a busy life i hate it xXx Ride 413 xXx: and it's not when i'm not busy...half the time i drop everything i'm doing because i know i need to tlak to you AJPPIE2: fuck it. im sorry im fucking up ur life. shaun i can't handle this. i need more then u can give me i guess. i can't deal with this.im being torn apart by this. goood luck with your busy life now that im not apart of it. |
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| 2 ♥ understand? | ||||
| MY BIRFDAY | ||||
| 09:55am 16/02/2004 | ||||
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Today is my birfday!!! hurray. finally 16! tomorrow i hope to be getting my permit. which is ultra sexy, huh? For Valentine's day/my birthday Shaun got me.... A rose, a teddy bear that says kiss me on it. and it has a song. hehe... he also got me a chocolate bear... the blood brothers CD, a ring and a belly ring. hes so amazing. i cried. I can't believe someone would get me all that. We also went to eat at ninety nine and then went to a movie. after we came home drank sparkling cider, lit all the candles and turned the lights off and cuddled... and did it up. Everything was so perfect and amazing. Lauren's here. I dont know when shes staying till... but shes here. :) makes me super happy. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ALICIA, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME. WOOT. |
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| 1 ♥ understand? | ||||
| 03:43pm 11/02/2004 | ||||
| Fuck me. | ||||
| 5 ♥ understand? | ||||
| 08:27am 05/02/2004 | ||||
Last night i had a dream.. It was an awful dream. If felt so real. Ok here it goes... Macy was over my house. And we had this random guy come over. Macy wanted him.... so i had him sleep over. That night after she fell asleep, i went into the room he was sleeping in and i fucked him. Then gave him head. After i was done he goes i dont fucking want you. i used you. And you cheated on your boyfriend. I had forgotten about shaun. Then i relized i cheated on him. I felt sooo bad. i didn't know how i was gonna tell him. I didn't think i could tell him. But then i woke up.... How terrible is that??? jesus. I had sleeping these days. i feel like all my dreams are bad ones. The problem is, i am always so tired. I didn't get to talk to shaun for long yesterday b/c he went snowboarding. The evil snowboarding. heh. But last night he called me. wanting to talk... but i was sleeping when he called. So i told him to call me in the morning. Which he did... but i still didn't talk ot him. I also finish reading my book. It was good. I just didn't like how it ended. Now im reading a new one. It called Just hold on. i hope its good. I hope i see shaun tomorrow. I'll rent a couple movies tomorrow so we'll watch em. Then saturday i have a game at 4. AFter that im pretty sure im getting my belly peirced. =) Then sunday im going to a family party at sum resturant fer my b-day. kim and shaun are coming. Woot. ok ok ok ok im done babbbbbbling yo. eeeeeef. |
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| understand? | ||||
| 08:09am 03/02/2004 | ||||
The only thing i dont like is how so many girls still want him even though they all know we've been together for 6 months and are in love. If i really need to kick someones Tush i will!!! hahaha. i mean i know he wont leave me for them. Its just i get really jealous/upset that people want the love of my life. It isn't right. Guys are Guys.... And i know shaun is a flirt b/c i see it all the time. But im not gonna be an annoying bitch and make him stop. I let him know last night that it hurts me. I told him all the people that have botherd me n all.... i think i made him upset. I dont like it when i do that to him. i was just telling the truth. im kinda glad i got it out tho. I just want our relationship to be p.e.r.f.e.c.t is that bad?? i dont think so. i think everyone wants thier relationship to be like that. Oh well. all i know is he means more to me then n e thing ive ever have had. And thats A LOT. now just think of me loosing that. It basically means i would lose my life. I can't deal with that. I promised my mom i would let her help me get through the loss of shaun(if that ever happens). ok enough babbling. i hate it when i do that. arrrrrrrrg. Shaun murphy is my life. 23 |
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| 2 ♥ understand? | ||||
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emotionalpunk16 |
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