| Take note | ||||
| 09:19pm 03/01/2005 | ||||
erasing the old me ever so slowly yet fading so fast dont blink this might be your last glimpse |
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peaceful| You make me wanna Lalalala | ||||
| 02:17pm 02/01/2005 | ||||
Just finished uploading some pics to my webshots page from my digicam LOOOVEEE it im obsessed... i think i like my digital more than my AIM hahah now thats a thought so anyways check that out... http://community.webshots.com/user/princessbeau in other news.... lets see vacation was amazing and so necessary. i really needed it. The beach was beautiful. our suites were cozy and spacious....everyone got along and it was warm too. Did lotsa chillaxing and playing outside, swimming, puzzles, games. It was great to be with my grandparents again. i love them and they always go away for the holidays. NEW YEARS EVE was.... different. I think it was yet another case of Crystal having too many expectations so nothing came out as planned. I always have better nights when i dont think about them, when I am not looking forward o something etc. Its when i "KNOW" its gonna be a great night or im really psyched that i end up bummed. I guess in a since I always build myself up for a letdown....gotta work on that lol. ( WANNA READ MORE about NEW YEARS EVE? ) and then came the pain ( NEW YEARS DAY ) so right now i gotta finish cleaning my room. Nates gonna come over to play CSI with me later and im trying to keep tabs on Jessi and her boyfriend while my moms gone. Still got a few things on my mind to figure out and make decisions about but im not in the mood today. I might go to Emilys this weekend b4 she leaves for Arizona but then again i might not. I was thinking of sending Steph her Christmas present anyway even tho she said not to, but then again i wonder why im persisting on something she obviously just gave up on. I gotta catch up on some bills i got behind on bc of the holidays and im thinking about picking up a waitressing job maybe 3 nights a week...maybe not. ( Other tidbits ) i look at all my buddy lists and its a wonder to me how people can just fade from your life, especially people who used to be so important and who at one time you thought to yourself that these people would always be a part of you. I look around me today and think...how many of these people will have forgotten about me or will i lose contact with by New year 2006? the pictures on top of my computer "Friendship Forever" frames, one from highschool Senior Banquet with 9 of us, 3 who still get together and keep in contact (me Jen and Jenn) and then the one that steph gave me just a few months ago for my birthday with many pictures of us... how does it all just disappear? and since when does distance mean that friendship should be forgotten. i dont know but i always figured if something was really important to you, that shouldnt change...because we all need important people in our lives. I always felt that if something was really worth anything to you, you would never give up on it. Im realizing tho, that im one of the very few people in this world who feels that way. One of the very few people who is willing to hold on, forgive, forget and continue to see the good thru the bad. Im one of those romantics, even in any relationship...friends are the family we choose for ourselves and family means love and trust and always sticking togther. I justwant to finally find those people who arent fake, who know a good thing when they see it, who arent willing to give up over one bad night or a few dark words...who want to know theyve always got that one person who will always be there. Whenever i think ive found that type of person, i always seem to find out im wrong. but at least im becoming jaded to it, less affected by the loss. I guess whats happening is im starting to expect that just because i have something now doesnt mean i always will....and that change is a part of life. Take it or leave it. Ive been _thisclose- to the end of all that, and im taking it. Im gonna start living my life bc i know im the only person i will always be able to count on... SO BRING IT ON 2005! |
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optimistic| I'M ENGAGED!!!! | ||||
| 05:17pm 22/12/2004 | ||||
well, lets back up a bit...i was a little down about Christmas a few days ago. Nothing seemed to be going right. My mom was having trouble financing the trip, I was stressed about things including a hospital bill I JUST received, from my inpatienet stuff in April...which brought back shitty memories not to mention 368 dollars for WHAT!? sigh. Then my littlest sister has been rather bah humbuggish and THEN the gift i was SOOO excited about for Nate came alllll wrong :( I was devastated bc I had to send it back and i didnt know what else to get him in such short notice. And of course I was feeling lonely... and on top of that got in a fight with my best friend...(a fight? idk maybe it was a war?...no, an endiing maybe? idk ...) well it all came down to me writing in this journal in one of the communities the other day about Steph. I was just venting...thats what writers do when theyre upset...whatcha gonna do? but that really sucked bc i spent the last few weeks working on her xmas present and trying to find the perfect memory for us to "revive" our friendship. sigh. effort wasted i guess. Well, things really turned arund for the most part. I helped finance the trip so my mom could pay me back later and we're def going to SC to see my grandys at the Beach for Christmas. then, i went over to exchange gifts with Matt's grandparents which started reviving my spirit because they are just THE greatest people. They gave me this gorgeous pearl necklace and we talked for quite a while. They said its great to see me doing so well, and that got me thinking about Just how much i've been thru and overcome this year. It really got me motivated to celebrate and make this an amazing holiday bc for once im so glad to be alive :) Then there was the shopping trip with my lil sis, which is always fun. I really miss Nikki a lot now that she's not living here and I really like to have time one on one with her. Shes a little spoiled brat too lol because I always end up buying her a ton of shit when we're together. Thats ok bc it really makes me feel good. i LOVE buying stuff for people. Thats part of the reason why I like Christmas so much, i love giving gifts...i always try to make them so speacial and memorable. Its fun to try and outdo myself every year lol. And on our shopping trip i bought some GREAT gifts. Everyone seemed really excited about the gifts i gave last night :) i was soo happy. The party with my friends made things even cheerier because it felt so good to relive things the way they were in high school. I had such a great time and felt so comfortable. I miss those days and its great to know things can still be the same when were all together again, now. When Brett, Matt Jennings and Nate get together its great because their sarcasm and sense of humor always make everyone so happy and have fun. I really like Jeff, jens beau too because he seems to make her really happy. Not only that but hes a fun guy too...so add that to the mix. I can't wait til we're all together again for New Years Eve. im so excited :) Its great to realize all the fun you can have with friends being sober. I also heard from Sammie in the last few days which really made me happy. I miss that girl and it always makes me feel so happy when she drops me a random line. Talking to Gemmers also brightens things up. I can never be miserable when im around her or talking to her. I really miss that girl! I even talked to my cousin Kristyn which is great bc we havent seen eachother in quite a while and we used to be really close. I know shes going through a lot, and has been thru so much that ive been thru so i want to make sure she always knows im here for her...she may only be a year younger than me but shes still my little cuz! Diella also called last night now that shes in town to Thank me for the card i sent which was sweet. i cant wait to see her over break. Its awesome that after years of being separated and having no contact after she moved, weve managaed to reconnect thru nate and become just as close as we were back then :) Emily called too to say goodbye which was really emotional at first bc i didnt realize til last minute how much im gonna miss her once shes gone to Arizona but I really hope she gets everything she wants and her life improves so she can be healthy and happy. We really had something great that Ill never forget and I do regret being so bitter and stubborn after our fight, but it was at least a little easier to say goodbye knowing there were no hard feelings and that we both still care. IWe are so much alike. i know we'll never forget everything we've been thru and the friendship we shared and all the good times. I talked to Jess Kelly too a few times and its always great to catch up with her. knowing youve had a friend for that long and you two can still connect onm a personal level always makes u appreciate life. Ive also heard from heidi and Debbie and thats always awesome. I cant wait to see those girls again they are absolutely the greatest! hmmm what else has happenned to make me look on the brighter side? morgans in town. I havent seen her but its cool to know shes visiting. Im glad that whatever revelation shes had since shes moved has been so positive. Its great to talk to her so often again and see that shes doing so well. I really like reading her happy away messages much better than the miserable and bored and depressed ones she always had here in New York. Ive even spoken to my bodyguard Chris and we discovered that we both had recently created myspace accoutns hahah GREAT MINDS THINK ALIKE. hes aweomse. i dont think ive ever seen that kid down, which is a perfect way to make yourself feel so UP! hehehe So that pretty much brings us up to yesterday. First we had the daycare Christmas party which is always fun because the little ones get sooo excited about Santa being there and trading gifts and their mommys and Daddys celebrating with their little friends and stuff. I like being Santas helper. it makes me feel useful lol. I got a few gifts from the daycare parents, too because Ive been with the kids for so long. Mostly gift cards and certificates...hey shopping :) Then after that we had the family Christmas. Nikki and Nate came over and we all took turns opening gifts. At first everyone was a little bummed because things were so different htis year...such few presents (funds were so tight bc of all the trials and stuff paying the damn lawyers) ( if you have EVER witnessed a Beauchemin Christmas you KNOW that its CRAZY and flamboyant) but this year it was simple so we were not sure how it would turn out. No one was even expecting stockings which are usually the kcik off to Christmas here at the house so everyone was unsure about that too...because my mom said she couldnt afford more than 4 gifts this year and no stockings... so thats where i made sure to come through :) i went out and bought candy and stocking stuffers for everyone!! even nate...to make sure our Christmas tradition was maintained :) it felt sooo good when everyones eyes bugged out like OMG the stockings are FULL!! my sisters were really happy and you could tell my mom was surprised. I also bought at least 5 gifts for everyone to help out with present quota ( when youre used to getting and giving 30-45 gifts every year its tough thinking wow three...so i wanted to boost things up a bit.) My mom was really appreciatve and I made sure to get things everyone REALLY wanted...my mom a cotton nightgown, yankee candles (white zinfandel her favorite) perfume of course bc she gets it EVERY year :) My sister got the exact stuff she wanted (Nikki) lol bc she was with me and i made sureto get her a surprise gift that brought back shopping memories. Jessi got the nightgown from Victorias secret she wanted, as well as a shirt from filenes she really liked and I even got John a little ornament. Everyone got a CD from their Christmas list that they really wanted and i was so excited to give Nate the gifts i found for him. He got a cappucino/espresso maker and Candies for men (Candies is my fave designer AND my fave scent!) DAMN, im good hahaha. so yea i love making everyone happy with their gifts. then of course Nate gave me my gift last and i was shocked and sooo ecstatic. At first i was like what the hell because the box was wrapped inside a coffee cup so i thought "he got me a coffee cup!/" haha. Nates mom also gave me a gift: this gorgeous leather Liz Claiborne purse that will go PERFECTLY with the black leather jacket i bought today :)!!! I can't wait til tonight to go to Dougs (my ex-stepfather) and his parents house. i bought them all some cool gifts too....esp Doug because he really came through for me a lot this year (especially with my new car and the time i was stranded on the highway bawling about tolls hahahaha what a crisis) and I appreciated it a lot. Besides GIVING great gifts i GOT some good ones too :) My mom gave me this cute little digital camera that i REALLY wanted. I was psyched! At first I was sad because the first thing it reminded me of was Steph and all the times we played with hers and all the pictures we've taken with it and on it...but then i was like "hey i have my own now and i will make some great new memories" Im so glad that ive been able to adopt this new optomistic attitude about life and not get down so easily about every little thing like i spent the past 20 years doing. It really makes things so worthwhile and wonderful. Jessi gave me this Gorgeous mahongaany Jewelry Box with a personalized Silver plate on the top and it LOCKS! its funny because she always stole my jewelry before so it was her way of reconciling things. its a cute, yet twisted reminder of How Christmas is a time for everyone to bring peace to eachother. Nikki made sure she got my favorite scent from Victorias Secret in a body spray and of course gave me the Cashmere sweater i wanted so badly (and pai for tehehehe) She also gave the straightener i BEGGED for hahah. My mom got me the phone extension for our room finally so now i have my own phone in here YAY! That was really cool. my grandmother on my dads side sent me and Jessi the wrong gifts again so as usual we switched :) We both got these pretty Glass carousel figurines...but I got the angles and she got the dolphins lol. Silly Grandma. Thats become a tradition, now too.... Switching Grandmas gifts lol. My bio dad of course didn't send anything, but I wasn't surprised he never does.Whenever i get down about that, about not knowing my dad or him not caring I think about how hard it must be for people at the holidays who can't have their loved ones for other reasons....like Nate's Dad having died when he was so tiny. It must be so hard, and tho he doesnt talk about it often...the few times we have talked about it, tears have come to my baby's beautiful eyes and i know then that its selfish to think about things like that when others actually are grieving. It makes me wonder how Nates mom has felt all these years that shes spent the holidays without her husband :( wow...i really hope i never lose Nathanial. I sent out all the other Christmas gifts yesterday, for Deebie, Heidi, Jess kelly, My bio Dad and his parents. Its expensive to send gifts!! lol i shoulda just made guest appearance throughout NY and the US it might have been cheaper! hahah sooo worth it tho. I can't wait to hear from everyone when they get their gifts. Nates mom already got hers because I had hers shipped directly from the company to her house, same as I did with Stephs... Nates moms gift is so original but fits her sooo well :) i hope she loves it! pris and Bill loved their gifts too but unfortunately the zen floating candle garden was broken. They took it back tho and got a new one so that worked out well too :) wow things can't get too much better :) i hope this is a sign that 2005 is going to be amazing! We're leaving for Grandma and Papas on Friday morning at 5am and driving the full 16 hours straight thru til we get there so we can still be there by Christmas eve. we're taking the Camry bc it has more room and such amazing gas mileage :) besides, Ill be doing most of the driving and i want to do it in my own car lol. Moms is a standard and i never learned to drive a standard so we couldnt take hers and jessis is just no fun hahaha. i LOVE my new car. I hope Nate can put my car stereo in before we leave so i can play my cds...like MADONNA YAYYY. haha i love music sooo i guess im gonna go clean and put away all my new stuff b4 the new shipment comes in tonight and then AGAIN on Christmas lol Gotta love "broken" familys....lol and i gotta pack! and eat maybe? miss u all...seriously do...xoxoxox |
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ecstatic| Seein red again...and green too :) | ||||
| 02:27pm 20/12/2004 | ||||
Thank god lol i was starting to look like hell! Last night was the annual Christmas party that Jenn, Jen and I have every year. While I wasn't looking forwrd to it at first. It turned out really well. It was good to be with the girls again, and even though the crowd that we have there changes a little bit every year it was good being in the same room with a few friends. I felt bad when we switched gifts because the girls gave me a lot more this year than we usually do, and I couldn't really afford that much. But they knew that I gave them what I could and that I made sure to make the gifts things from memories or things they would really like/use. I also gave Nate a little something and was happy that he really liked it. (An electric heated snow remover thingy for his jeep lol) It was a lot of fun just laughing and sharing stories with everyone, reminiscing. I got my CSI board game from jenn :) and the Book by Jenny Lauren (Ralph Laurens daughter) about her battle with Bulimia and the impact of her family etc. from MY jenny hehe. We ate jello as usual and idk it just reminded me how much i love those girls. It was really good. At one point we were all talking about weight and Jenn M was saying how much she lost and brett gained and we were talking about other people gaining and losing. Jen B was like "wow I wonder what u say about me when im not listening" lol and Jenn M was like no when i see you every year i just look for a new whole ot tat on your body :) hahaha I knew the convo was gonna turn to what they look for in ME every year so i joked about how they look to see who im gonna bring to the party every year lol. Oh well. Hopefully it will be Nate from here on out. introducing Mark last near was a huge mistake...and Matt, well hes still there every year...just not with me. He was a jerk again this year. hes always so unsocial and mean. I think i saw him smile once...which is too bad bc hes always had an adorable smile. Sigh....what has that girl done to him. oh well. Anyways, as if the night wasnt good enough Nate and I came back here and cuddled on the couch for a while til i fell asleep :) yay. So im just chillin with the soap opera right now thinkin bout gettin to the gifts but i guess itll have to wait til after daycare. I gotta do Heidis and Debs first then my Bio dad and my grandparents...and any others that have to be mailed out. I can't wait to give Nate his gift....when i FINALLY found the right thing for him after the LaBatt company fell thru on me....i KNEW he'd love it. YAY :) ahhhh Holiday spirit... thats the best thing about every year. I hate people with the bah humbugs and i almost let myself fall into that . NO WAY the other day Nikki and I went to Colonie Center Mall to get our shopping done (from 11am to 830 pm....ya brings new meaning to shop til u drop lol). on our way in we gave money to one of those Salvation Army bell ringer people. I love to do that because not only do those people actually NEED it but the bell rngers are ut there all day freezing their asses off for such a worthy cause and most people are like " i hate thos epeople theyre so annoying' or try to avoid them and stuff... What harm is putting a penny or nickel or sumthin small like that into EVERY one that they pass. idk sigh humans are so greedy and selfish. ouch for us. Anyways the whole point is this guy was sooo awesome. he was smiling and laughing and stuff and he was joking with me and nikki to get inside b4 we froze bc we didnt wear jackets...and then when we came out like 5 hours later to throw the bags we had into the trunk and keep shopping...that poor man was still out there in the cold...BUT he was still smiling and he joked with us again and we put MORE money in that pot and he thanked us up and down again and again. people like that remind me just how beautiful the holidays are...well, if you have the beautiful people to go with it...and u know what...im not letting anyone ruin this year for me...because i have a LOT to be thankful for...probably more reason to celebrate this holiday than ive ever had in my life... xoxoxox |
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grateful| needing sleep...and friends | ||||
| 02:13pm 17/12/2004 | ||||
stress kills im still really upset with people and i revamped my buddylists and stuff yesterday at first it felt great, but now i feel just as lonely again i keep finding out so many disappointing things about my family, esp my sisters and my moms been such a selfish bitch lately as well as everyone else the worst feeling in the world has got be- finding out that you're 1000% wrong about someone you swore was so much differnet than everyone else especially at the holidays well FUCK YOU- ( http://www.blurty.com/community/fuck_you_list/ ) and thats about it im gonna crash soon can u beleive i got so desperate today for someone to just listen to me that i actually called my old therapist?!?! i havent spoken to her since our last session the day b4 my 20th birthday IN MAY its been over 6 months sigh FUCK YOU ALL FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU |
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bitchy| a lil get-to-know me | ||||
| 01:19pm 16/12/2004 | ||||
[ ]ugly. [x]pretty. [x]bored. [x]happy. [ ]depressed. [ ] blonde [ ]bilingual. [x]white. [ ]black. [ ]short. [ ]tall [ ]grounded. [ ]sick. [x]lazy. [ ]single [x]taken. [x]unhappy with your body. [ ]perfect. [ ]talking to someone. [x]IMing someone. [x]scared to die. [x]sleepy. [ ]annoyed. [x]in your room. [ ]drinking something. [ ]eating something. [ ]naked. [ ]ticklish. [x]listening to music. [ ]homophobic. [ ]racist. [x]cautious. [x]on Rx drugs. [ ]famous. [x]flirtacious. [ ]shy. [x]funny. [x]mature. [ ]immature. [x]friendly. [ ]mean. [ ]cold. [ ]hot. [ ]a neat freak. [x]emotional. [x]sweet. [x]a bitch. [ ]selfish. [x]stubborn. have you ever...? [x]been drunk. [x]had sex. [x]smoked pot. [x]kissed a member of the same sex. [x]had more than two jobs. [x]rode in a taxi. [x]been dumped. [x]shoplifted. [x]been fired. [x]had a job. [x]been in a fist fight. [ ]snuck out of your parent's house. [ ]been arrested. [ ]stole something from your job. [ ]celebrated new years in times square. [x]played a sport. [ ]went on a blind date. [x]smoked a cigarette. [x]gone on an airplane by yourself. [ ]broken a bone. [x]had sex in a car. [x]white lied to a friend. [ ]went swimming in your bathtub. [x]checked out a teacher [ ]celebrated mardi-gras in new orleans. [x]been to europe. [x]made out in a movie. [x]taken caffiene pills. [x]been to disney land. [ ]had a crush on someone you hardly knew. [ ]been to california. [x]shopped in Manhattan. [x]been skinny dipping. [x]regretted something. [x]peed on someones lawn. [x]peed on yourself. [x]skipped school. [x]thrown up from drinking. [x]been butt nekked bangin on the bathroom floor. [x]had sex with a boy. [ ]had sex with a girl. [x]been in a car accident. [x]partied for days and days straight. [x]had a family member die. [x]played 'clue'. [x]played truth or dare [ ]played strip poker [x]had a sleepover party. [x]had a co-ed sleepover party. [x]went ice skating. [ ]dropped x. [x]been cheated on. [x]cheated on someone. [ ]murdered someone. [ ]dreamed about murdering someone. [ ]had a threesome. [x]had a sweet sixteen. [x]had a car. [x]drove. [x]been in trouble with the cops [x]got a speeding ticket [ ]lied about your age. [x]danced naked [x]used a fake ID [ ]been engaged. [ ]been married. [ ]had a baby. [x]had a pregnancy scare. [x]called someone and hung up. [x]faked an orgasm. [x]pulled an all nighter. |
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sleepy| Welcome to My Life | ||||
| 04:15pm 15/12/2004 | ||||
April 19 - May 19 There is some likelihood that your emotions have changed in the past six weeks or so. You've been in a mood in which you were no longer attracted to the same people, you were unsure of yourself at work, and even wondered if your own attractiveness had deserted you. But beginning today, these doubts will be dispelled. Thats my horoscope for today and its funny bc it def rings 100% true. Sigh. Thats Life. Im starting to learn so much about people, my friends especially, well those people who claim themselves to be my friends. What Im learning isnt exactly positive either. People really like to use people for whatever is good for them at that moment, then they forget about what it is the person needs or wants as soon as they cant see them everyday or as soon as they realize that the person is no longer usefull to them. No one knows how to keep in touch, or even cares to know whats going on. Seriously, this journal is proof of that. The only people who actually read it are the people who are my buddies from within the Blurty communities. The truth is that so many people claim to be my friend, when what is REALLY happeninng is IM being such an amazing friend to THEM while im getting SHIT back. Thats gonna stop right now. its my new years resolution. People are going to contact ME. People are going to REALIZE that im not their fucking doormat. My "friends" are going to discover that they're awfully alone and without "true" companionship and loyalty as soon as im out of the picture... The worst thing is im not even done expressing how much I despise people right now, how disgusting i think most of the people in my life are, including family members. The best thing is that the VERY few people who make up for everything that my so-called-friends lack, THOSE true friends i have are worth ten times more to me than anyone else who claims to be a valuable part of my life but does nothing to support that. Im not gonna name names, bc it doesnt exactly matter much seeing as no one of any importance reads this journal but i will say one thing.... this is the time of year where people are supposed to reflect, give and love. Those are the three most important qualities of the holdiay season. its not about gift buying, making amends, getting the goods, proving yourself to others. Its MY favorite time of year because its when IM at my best doing all of those things, proving myself and my nature once again. I can honestly say that so far I have seen only FOUR good examples of this Holiday Spirit in ALL of the people I am surrounded by in life. It sickens me. But it also makes me more determined to cut out the people that I know or surround myself by who are shallow, selfish, greedy, dishonest, ungrateful, disrespectful, discrimanatory, unloving, without compassion, inconsiderate, unhelpful, and cynical. There I said it. now its time to update my christmas list. haha jk I wish i could explain myself so much better, how i feel about this but I just can't seem to get it perfect. This is all I have for you...whoever YOU are. ( Daily Body Digest ) |
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determined| 10:07pm 14/12/2004 | |||
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( Bayside lyrics ) not much today to write just waiting for a massage from my sisster then gonna get in the shower then nates gonna be here 10ish and then i gotta sleep tomorrow i gotta work 8am-430pm in the daycare, then 9pm-7am at the lighthouse then 8am-430pm again at the daycare on Thursday phew today i have been such a friggin pig oh well ill fast tomorrow hmmm more news later i gues byes |
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| 115!? | ||||
| 09:04pm 12/12/2004 | ||||
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excited| *yawn* | ||||
| 04:09pm 10/12/2004 | ||||
i have to work from 430-915 tonight and i already worked 8-4 im sick, too...yesterday i went to the doctors thinking maybe i had a UTI and a cold came out with some extremely strong 3 day antibiotic to cure all 4 infections i have: Bladder, UTI, Upper-respiratory AND an acute inner ear infection what a joy that was and for some reason I couldn't sleep for a second last night so today im just dragging soooo bad i think bc im a little stressed... nothing that i dont know wil work itself out soon and be over but its just tough for this second. and i know being tired just makes things seem worse than they are so im trying to just ride it out yuk ya so i guess i should get off to the Lighthouse instead of wasting my time here *YAWWWWN* cannot WAIT to sleep tonight getting up in the morning to go shopping with mom and the $0 i have LOL seriously my paycheck was like 50 bucks smaller than usual bc i had like 3 days off and then my bills are like wicked higher bc of the car insurance going up and the loan payments starting sigh...i have a feeling i wont be going back to college next year either :/ oh well...as much as i miss it I know things will be the way they are for a reason whatever that is im still figuring out but whats the point in freakin out anymore. there really isnt one i feel so much better about life and why im in it now that i just let things bother me less and ive stopped caring about trivial stuf in general im very happy with the way things are going in my life so if this is just another one of those little speed bumbs i dont see a reason why i cant just roll over it and start running again when i get to the other side. sumtimes u just gotta look back and laugh. |
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exhausted| green eyes shutting out the black night | ||||
| 11:06pm 08/12/2004 | ||||
Cant beleive Christmas is coming so soon. I feel so gross. I keep burping up my burger king. i hate indigestion. Thats why I take Nexium (the healing purple pill) lol but sometimes a tums or 2 is still necessary *yawn* i just got outta the shower. I am the oppositte of most people. Showers make me sleepy, they DONT wake me up. can never take them in the morning. Damn I really need to go back to the gym. Tomorrow is CSI night yay :) Last week was a repeat and i was distressed lol. im looking forward to tomorrows. Some Xmas gifts I ordered online are stratng to come in. it makes me feel like perhaps i might be accomplishing a little bit of my to do list(s) LOL. I am excited to go shopping on Saturday b4 Work and then look at Sundays newspaper AT work on sunday and perhaps go shopping again AFTER work. IDk tho bc my checks gonna be smaller, having had two days off thanksgiving week, AND my bills are LARGER nc i have the new car loan now and i need to make the 1st payment next week. Oh the joy of living. HURRY AND GET RICH NATHANIAL. hehehe so now im off to lullaby land. xoxox ~Beau |
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relaxed| YAY | ||||
| 09:58pm 07/12/2004 | ||||
im gonna get some free tutti dolci lip gloss on saturday when i go xmas shopping. im excited lol. i love free gifts! i just got a free VERY SEXY model beauty bag from Victorias Secrt the other day when i ordered gifts (and a few sweaters for myself lol) online! yeeehaaa...talk about cheery! hahaa so anyway thats about it today. sorry people nothing interesting! lol xoxoxo |
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awake| take me baby... or leave me | ||||
| 08:04pm 06/12/2004 | ||||
glistens with perfect passion call me a sinner |
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artistic| FILL THIS OUT!!!! Yes YOUUUUU | ||||
| 06:13pm 06/12/2004 | ||||
2. Are we friends? 3. When and how did we meet? 4. Do you have a crush on me? 5. Would you kiss me? 6. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it. 7. Describe me in one word. 8. What was your first impression? 9. Do you still think that way about me now? 10. What reminds you of me? 11. If you could give me anything what would it be? 12. How well do you know me? 13. When's the last time you saw me? 14. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't? 15. Are you going to put this on your Journal and see what I say about you? |
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amused| 05:18pm 06/12/2004 | ||||
( stolen from prego veronica ;) hehe ) |
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full| a little this n that | ||||
| 06:51pm 01/12/2004 | ||||
just about to take a nap my computer is broken so im not online as much bc i have to use my mommys which may be a good thing for my lazy ass idk my dad says hes gonna try to fix it tomorrow night my stupid sister is playing britney spears gay christmas music gag last night jessi and i switched up the rooms so that we moved to her old room and outta mine. its not bad sharing a room bc were hardly ever in it at the smae tme and were both leaving in august i ordered nates xmas gift and a bunch of cds for some other people on my xmas list online today so at least i got a few things done only 24 shopping days left i might not be going to south carolina for xmas as was planned bc my mom might have another job as some manager thingy of Hollywood video. it sux that the trials and all that stuff have not only shattered our family but now broken our finances sigh oh well i wasnt looking forward to going that much. its 50/50 ill be happy wherever i am friends family and parties are here family and the beach are there so its ok with me either way this weekend i was supposed to go to stephs for her 21st bday all weekend but its my last chance to see heidi b4 she moves back to LI so im splitting my weekend up and going to moville fri night and pdam sat night steph and i had this not-so-fun tiff we were both pissed at eachother for stupid stuff but i guess thats how distance goes but i think for the most part its ok now my new years resolution is def to go back to the gym! well i think im gonna go take that nap peace |
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drained| Re-invention | ||||
| 07:04pm 25/11/2004 | ||||
hit up the Madonna community!!: http://www.blurty.com/community/madonnafans/ sexy sexy sexy |
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annoyed| "Happy" Thanksgiving | ||||
| 12:38pm 25/11/2004 | ||||
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lonely| Get Back mothafucka u dont know me like dat | ||||
| 03:37pm 23/11/2004 | ||||
xoxo |
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| Beautiful | ||||
| 08:25pm 22/11/2004 | ||||
so things seem to just be falling in place. maybe its just because the pressure of getting a new car is behind me, well besides the payments but taht ill deal with for the next 3 years lol. Nate and I had a little fall out this weekend which turned out to be perfect bc we both had so much we were keeping in and it just made everything a thousand times better. We went to see Spongebob which was HORRIBLE lol poor Nate had to hear me bitch about it all weekend after that, but we also went to the Casino with him mom and her friends after they came to the house for some champagne and foodage. That was cool. I have nates xmas gift all planned out which everyoine says hes gonna love so im releived. He loved his bday presents of course lol. I got him a Labatt Blue beer glass with a gel cnadle and fake foam candle in it and a zip up hoodie from Aero. I talked to Jess Kelly and we patched things up that really shouldnt have needed patching lol. Shes doing great. We were both just having trouble with losing touch and becoming so distant after being friends since Kindergarten...but thats the way sht oges u just gotta fight. This weekend i had some good alcohol and fun times with my heidi and debbie...and chinese too lol. I love those girls so much... speaking of them i always talk about them and never put pics so here we go: ( my pics ) theres just a few and there are many more (sorry theyre tiny)but ill save em lol i think im gonna start one of my own photo sites soon...i got every other freakin internet site possible...a journal, extended profile, rating site, quiz forums, lol i might as well add more. Well my loves i think im done here. Bisoux! ~Beau |
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| emotessa | ||
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