Emo Sex Kitten's Blurty Entries [entries|friends|calendar]
Emo Sex Kitten

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when I watch you, I wanna do you. right where you're standing. yeah. [29 May 2005|08:22pm]
[ mood | happy ]
[ music | Say Anything - Alive with the Glory of Love ]

ok. this is totally all for you Courtney!
I seriously wondered if I would ever ever right in this thing again...
I got sick of reading this thing feeling gay... plus I dont have a lot to say.
ehh, April 1stish was my one year of being single. I was proud of myself.
Buuuut, Im also very happy with one Mr. Kory White now. He asked me out May 1st.
:-) Umm. Idk Courtney you're the only one who reads this, I dont know what to say.
I mean anything else going on I cant write in here because its stuff that certain people cant know.
90% of my friends just graduated... its really sad. But Im still stoked for them to go start there lives.

P.S. Court-this stuff with Mark breaks my heart. The church is getting kind of shady... idk.
I miss him already.

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Ill have a Godfather with Avacado.... [01 Apr 2005|11:08pm]
[ mood | happy ]
[ music | The Format - Give it up ]

"Ill buy you a sandwich" :-)

I am so sad to be home. Spring Break was amazing & so needed & I havent had so much fun in too long. I met such awesome people & I really hope I end up going back for Blissfest. Also, had the best sandwich of my life. Twice. Drank good stuff, 3am hott tubbing should be an everyday thing. I <3 Bacon so much. I miss Tricia too though! I CAN NOT wait to get my pictures developed. They should be awesome. I got some really awesome necklaces too. Everything I wanted to do while I was their, I accomplished.

My phone didnt have service the whole week though, so I came home to surprises. Good ones I guess.
You have good taste in music, Im glad your good for something ;-)

something tells me that your too scared...

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ooh, I cracka you up [12 Mar 2005|12:27am]
[ mood | cranky ]
[ music | NOFX - whoops I od'd ]

ok - fucking a) if I see anymore people TyPInG lYke DiS.... Im going to fucking kill myself.
b) work at 7am is whooping my ass. slash, 11 hr work days are doing the same.

ook, now that thats out of my system. Today was sweet. Babysat, made 30$. Got my check. 120$ (theyre never that big from Marinellis). Went out to Bacons friends house. Umm - can you say nice ass house?! Party. Felt lame because I knew literally - 5 people & had to be home at 12.

Today when I was babysitting I kept calling my house but I guess my Moms been asleep all day cause she is sick. I kind of miss her... I never ever see her anymore. When I do, its for like half hour max., we have a really quick conversation, & thats it.

My week consisted of, Monday - church, tuesday - work, wednesday - work, thursday - church, friday - babysitting... & Saturday will be work, more work, ladies night (yess!, I miss Brady SO much). Then sunday is work, & finally chill time with Greg-o & cookie night with Cezar.

I have the same first & 6th hour teacher, & I havent been to first hour all week... so today I asked him (Mr. Campeau) if he hated me because I was never in his class & he said "no, I coulnt hate you". & I said something else like "ya right Mr. Campeau, I crack you up" & he said "Oh you definitely do, more then anyone else". & I felt sweet. & It was sweet & next week will be sweet. Monday Ill surprise Mr. Campeau with the first hour project thats due, that he probably doesnt think Ill do because I missed 5 flipping days, & then Ill get to debate affirmative action for extra credit. Yesss. OMG, & Me, Tom & Danny are in a group for the UPN commercial thing (long story) but for some reason on Thursday me & Tom were SO pissed because we thought our final commercial sucked ass & we reallllly want it to be on TV... so we were going to spend our time doing a WHOLE new one. But today, we watched it & its so fucking good. I dont know what we were thinking. Even Mr. Campeau said it was really good. Im stoked, you should be too.

I have to wake up in 5 hours though so... later.

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I think somethings wrong here. [09 Mar 2005|12:29am]
I hate the extent of which I understand you.

Gosh. I dont know whats wrong with me.
Why cant I fucking go to school?!

I dont even have any more excuses, I thoroughly enjoy all of my classes... & I mean, I atleast have someone to talk to in all of them now. I would rather be somewhere else, but its not like I mind these people anymore. & I always feel like a fucking douche bag when I miss, & I want so badly for certain people to be proud of me. & Even when my Mom threatens to take away one of my jobs, & spring break & my car & just fucking everything, I cant manage to get out of bed. What the fuck is wrong with me? I think Im really freaking out right now. I dont know where my life is going, or who will be in it. I love my friends more then anything in the world, but to be truthful - I look 10 years in to the future & I only see two of them still being a major part in it... I really dont want that. I really miss a lot of people right now. Where the fuck are Greg, and Joe and Sam and Dusty?!!!
I even miss Lindsey, and Alyssa, and Mara and Caitlin....
I really need a lot of sleep. Tomorrows a late start. Thats always fun... please God - make me go to school tomorrow. Sometimes I really really wish my Mommy didnt work in the morning. Because if she was home I would HAVE to get up. Fucking A man. Im fucking 16 years old & I cant even wake myself up. I <3 Tricia, she called me this morning to wake me up & make me go. It didnt work, but it was more then appreciated.

I think this entry is going to get longer & continue downhill. So leave now if your not down.

I dont think anyone reads this anymore, its pretty good for my sanity though.

Its been 11 & a half months since I had a boyfriend.
Its been 8 months since Ive gotten any...
I dont know which one out of those two upsets me more.
I think the second one.

Fuck. I think I am about to cry. Today was a decent fucking day too. I think something is like - unusually, unexplainably wrong.... FUCK I hate understanding this so well.

A lot of this shit it spaced out (this & shit consist of the same letters) & I am cussing a lot. I do that when I am upset. & I hate it because I think it could really come off as ignorant. Trust that I am only being upset. Please.

Before it was this whole thing where like, I could look in the mirror & see why it didnt work. I would pick apart why I thought they didnt want to stay. But now I cant. I just cant understand. I mean, I understand what you did, fuck Ive done it to like 800 people. But I can no longer look in the mirror & see why they left. Thats such an amazing thing for me to feel, but it leaves me so fucking confused. Are you fucking retarted? Your not even that great at all. I dont even miss you. I miss what was their, but that wasnt even real so this whole thing is just fucking gay beyond belief.

I keep listening to this same song over & over again. Its really good. But I dont know the name of it or who sings it. Its just in some girls thing online.... some girl that I guess I dislike for some unapparent reason. Idk.
My hood is up. I dont know why. omg, where is my fucking cat Simon. I love that cat so hardcore. But see I have this thing where I cant sleep with the door open - but the other night I just had to let him sleep with me, so I left my door open, buuut now my room smells funny & I dont know what it is but he is definitely not sleeping in their ever again. Its grossing me out. Even though he follows me around everywhere & lets me carry him & sits outside my door waiting for me forever after I go to bed.

Acoustic Versions kill. The music stopped & for a second I felt 800 times better. But then it started again, & I felt awful again. & for some reason, I let it play. For some reason I dont mind at all.

Even after all the time it took to muster up the courage to ask those questions, & after all the beating around the bush, everything is still so unclear. Your still so stupid & scared.
I could look at you & say that^, then look in the mirror & say it - & it would be so appropriate both times... I feel really godawful. I cant go to school, or save money, or not hit cars, or be as good of a friend to you as you are to me, or keep in good touch, or balance my life, or appreciate things, or stop this fucking music that is upsetting me so. Maybe sometimes its okay to wallow.
Im realizing that no matter how many people I talk to at Hazel Park it will never be the same. I will never have known any of them since I was 6 & vice versa. I will never be as comfortable with them. We're all just so different & its making me crazy. Everything is making me crazy. I really need a breather.

I think I should stop now.
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Man I thought that you heard, the changes occured. [23 Feb 2005|12:59am]
[ mood | happy ]
[ music | Jack Johnson is amazing ]

nobodys romancin' cause its too early for dancin', but here comes the music.

I <3 Jack Johnson.
If I dont get to go to Bonnaroo Im going to be VERY upset! lol.

I havent written in here for a while. A lot of stuff was going on inside my head that I didnt want certain people to know about & since I cant do a friends only entry (all my friends have LiveJournal) I kept it to myself. I really dont even feel like I talked about it that much to anyone, besides Bacon. But Im glad I didnt talk about it or write in here about it, because now its whatever & I can look back & be proud of how I handled myself & the situation.

Anywho; since I wrote last Ive acquired some new dues... I have a 125$ ticket to pay! aah. lol.
Oh also, I hit a Mercedes Benz E Class... but the lady never called - so Idk what she did about it. whew!
I also pay for a gym membership, unlimited text messaging & coaching every month now. It sounds stupid, but its kind of nice having stuff to pay for. Like I am proud of myself. But my Mommys been good about not making me pay for everything lately. It was getting ridiculous, me paying for my car to get fixed - while my parents paid to fix my brothers car. Me paying for all of my meals, & for my hair getting done & for all of my clothes. But just recently - she (actually her gf did, lol) bought me my Coach purse (that I love more then anything!) & she paid for all of my hair, & bought me a new skirt & is paying for half of my gym membership. I like my Mom a lot lately. I think me never ever being home has maybe been good for us. & The fact that I love all my friends & my jobs is good too. Because I can come home every night & want to tell her about my day. & 90% of the time I dont have to skip any details - like who I was with or what we were doing. Except I missed part of the school day today & I hope they dont call because I truly do feel bad. I dont want to start any arguments between me & my Mom. I need to start saving a lot of money too. I think maybe I should start pretending like I dont work at Marinellis... lol. I should just live off Brueggers checks (which I totally could) & put away all Marinellis checks for Spring Break (April) (Harbor Springs with Bacon? I <3 her!), Bonnaroo (June) (because Im fucking going) & Prom (May?) (incase I actually end up going with Joe to Ferndales). All that stuff is going to hit consecutively & I know if I dont start saving now Ill have to give up some of it, or half ass enjoy all of it. This entry feels intensely long, which I wanted to avoid - but its been/probably will be the only entry of the whole month. So I guess its ok.
I have homework to avoid now. So I am done.

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[30 Jan 2005|03:44pm]
[ mood | icky :-( ]
[ music | g.love - cold beverage ]

Copy and paste the first sentence of the first post of every month of 2004, then the last:

January:BoneThuggin12: 1)I keep thinking to myself... why am I up SO late? (beginning of mine & Gregs first "freestyle" lmao). 2)[spell your first name backwards] Assyla, lmao.

February: 1) Don't you remember the last time we were speeding down this highway? (Saves the Day song, the only thing I posted that whole month).

March: 1)as we're both lying here there's so many things i wanna say (NFG lyrics. one of the only 2 posts that month). 2)Well I never wanted it to be this way with you. (umm more NFG lyrics :-/)

April: 1)I'll take your words as if you were talking to me. (Jimmy eat World lyrics. wow. a lot of lyrics). 2)Things will be ok.

May: 1)Dont pass this off, nothing is ever easy. (Lucky Boys confusin lyrics. holy shit). 2)Shes the only one who knows what it is to burn.

June: 1)2 steps forward. 1 step back. (finally not a song!) 2)I am not an angry girl, but it seems like Ive got everyone fooled, everytime I say something they find hard to hear they chalk it up to my anger & never to their own fear. (& we're back to the songs).

July: 1)Everything is so good right at this very second. 2)My Mom is crazy.

August: 2)All I did was what I had to. (TBS lyrics...of course) 2)Well it's getting colder & your getting distant. (more TBS lyrics).

September: 1)Ferndale - 14 Hazel Park - 6 Good Call sitting on the Ferndale side. 2)I dont think that you get it.

October: 1)Stole this from Courtney :-) (a quiz) 2)...is that the title you chose Mark?

November: 1)I think this past month may very possibly have been one of the best ones of my life. 2)Im feeling green. (more lyrics, Jesus...)

December: 1)So untouchable. 2)Merry Late Christmas Everyone!

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cross my fingers & hope for the worst... [23 Jan 2005|10:04pm]
"we were just two nervous kids, & you could help me get to sleep."

You, your fucking perfect & I dont want you.
But you, your fucking horrible & I dont want anything else.

I hope I fucking got fired. Fucking assholes.
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this is stupid, & so was I [22 Jan 2005|09:54pm]
idk where to begin. my heart hurts a little. but Im sure Ill be fine.

twice now I got the "Zanna" card (to make you feel safe & know that the worst is behind you etc.)
The first time was when Bacon did my reading & the scenario was our relationship, & that card was in the "purpose" position. So I expected the purpose of our relationship was I would finally feel safe with someone, trust someone even. That was bullshit.... then I got it the other night when we all pulled cards at random while thinking about something. I thought about you, & got that card. It doesnt make sense. Im sure somewhere down the line I will see how this bump in the road helped make me feel safe, but right now its just ridiculous & it hurts more then I would like to admit.
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I wish Id put so much less in your hands. [17 Jan 2005|08:03pm]
[ mood | sad ]
[ music | Peter Mulvey? ]

Why cant these things I read be for me, about me, meant for my eyes to see?
I dont know what else to say. You have forgotten, I have pretended.
Its hardly even. Hardly easy. Hardly understood or expressed.
But it was expected. So very expected, & unwelcomed at the least.

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brace yourself with all that you have... [09 Jan 2005|03:07pm]
hmm. :-/

I cant sleep lately. I would like someone to fall asleep on the phone with.
We can be just friends, you can even be a girl. I really dont care.
Any takers? Feel free to call the cell anytime. Plus, the past 2 days I have randomly woken up at 4am... Also, I have no one I want to talk to during my Brueggers break. This is a little harder then I thought. Maybe I shouldnt be so silly. For when I said lets just be friends, I meant... can things stay exactly like this without the kissing & the waiting for the calls. I shouldnt have expected that. Thats stupid. Forgive me, Im not to sure how to do this, its been a while.
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How can you sleep at night, as it falls apart? [07 Jan 2005|10:27pm]
Today was soo good. Not too sure how to be around someone, so that made school kind of weird. Had a good talk with Mr. Jurvis though... so that made school better. Buut.... it always comes back to Ferndale!

Ferndale Varsity Basketball Game = Greg, Jason, Joe, Pat & Pete all writing EAGLE -one letter on each of their stomachs- (FHS Mascot) on their chest then taking their shirts off 3rd quarter when Mario made a shot & screaming & jumping up and down. It was fucking hilarious. I always have so much fun their. Granted the girls sitting behind them saying "y'all need ta sit down, I aint seein' tha game back heyar, I aint six feet tall nigga" actually made Hazel Park look not so bad. But then I spent the rest of the night with these guys + Mike & Ally & was just like... fuuuuck, I wont be here to see them all graduate & to see them on a daily basis & it just sucks hardcore. But, nonetheless... we all headed to Joes house & played some video games before dinner. $65 checks at Nationals are nothing unusual anymore. Then we all went to Gregs brothers house, where his brother left him a surplus of liquor & I of course, couldnt drink & had to be home at 10 & have to wake up at 6am. Right now I should be tipsy with some of my favorite people in the world, playing drunken darts or laughing until I cry & I cant feel my abs. Because these kids already make me piss my pants when I am sober. Joe & Greg have got to be 2 of the funniest fuckers alive. & I always miss Joe because our hangouts seem to be so far & few between & he's one of those friends that you hope to stay friends with even if you both end up moving to opposite sides of the country for college etc. Of course, a lot of my friends are those kind of friends, but I see them all the time now so you assume you will always see them a lot. Point is, my friends are fricking great & I love them.

Youve got your issues, & lord knows that Ive got mine...
but if you wanted this like I do Im sure we could be just fine.
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Even the best fall down sometimes... [06 Jan 2005|11:56pm]
[ mood | curious ]
[ music | Howie Day - Collide (Acoustic) ]

even the wrong words seem to rhyme...

You said it yourself, you said Im not ready.
I'm telling myself... but its not sinking in.
Maybe Im new at this, or its just your reaction.
Be my illusion & Ill be your distraction.

I got the newest Howie Day CD. I had this mix of his stuff. But this is really good. Ive been listening to it all day.

Bacon had this analogy tonight. It was amazing... something like "life is like cleaning your room".
"You see that your room is just a disaster, so you know you have to clean it up. But, if your gonna spend your time on it your going to do it right. So you pull everything out of your closest & off of your shelves to organize, but before you organize everything, your room looks worse then it did when you started. So you think
-goddamnet- but then, you realize youve put too much time into it to just leave it like that & once everything is cleaned & organized, youll see it was soo worth it".
I liked that. It kind of hit home.

This week was so nice...
Monday; power failure = half day.
Wednesday; mom declared a snow day for me.
Today; schools declared a snow day.
Which means - odds are Mr. Boldt wont give the test tomorrow... & I can try to figure something out. I would really like to do well on this test. But I just dont get this stuff. Its really driving me crazy... the whole not getting something I want to get. Some things -like chemistry- dont bother me when I dont get them. Because I dont care about them in the least. But, I should be able to get math. Its specific & never changing & should be memorizable at the very least. I cant wait until this semester is over. I havent done this bad since freshman year.
Me Sam & Dusty went out to breakfast.
I love those kids! Im glad weve kept our friendships for so long & sooo much!!!
Me & Greg went to Meijers (OF COURSE)!
Got an entire box of boston creme pies & a whole thing of whipped cream. They are both completely gone.
Id say we each accounted for half of that though. So many people ate our stuff when we got home.

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[05 Jan 2005|09:18pm]
I dont think I can do this.
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I wanna be selfish, your my everything. [27 Dec 2004|01:26am]
[ mood | hopeful ]
[ music | The Juliana Theory - Constellation ]

Merry Late Christmas Everyone! Its been a little bit so lets back track.

-Thursday; finally got to hang out with Greg-O again! Its been too long. Hes one of my best friends, I should see him atleast once a week (liiiike every Wednesday maybe? lol). But since Ive been doing the whole 2 jobs thing its been near impossible. Id like to quit one, but I cant. Anywho, hung out with him all day, it was saweet! I guess Church was cancelled Thursday, nobody told me, but it worked out - I ended up spending the night with Mike. Then when he went home Sammie & Dusty came over till like 12:30. So even though my curfew sucks hardcore, I like that people can come over as late as they want. Hanging out with those 2 is like a natural high. Theyre fucking hilarious. I really love my friends! I seriously think 95% of my friends are some of the funniest people alive.
::Sam showing me all the zippers in his new coat::
me:If you were a drug dealer, you could like, hide your drugs in their
Sam: I KNOW! But, Im not... so I keep change in their, in case I get lost.
...Keep in mind this kid has a cell phone & a car. I laughed for ever about that one.

-Friday; Christmas Eve, watched The Dead Poets Society with my Mom. Mike let me borrow it, I cried quite a bit. My Mom cried too. I think he might have gotten some points with her when I told her it was one of his favorite movies. Then I took some stuff over to Seans for Steph & Tony. Went & got some food with Sean. Another example of a great friend I can go months without seeing & still just be crazy with. Theyre was no awkwardness, which is great considering our past. We just talked & were stupid with eachother. It was good times. Went to see Marianne Williamson with my Mommy. Shes amazing. I really miss her at the church sometimes. I had forgotten what it felt like to meditate, I know how - I dont know why I dont. I know how good it is for me... but I still dont. Story of my life, aha.

-Saturday; excuse me - because I am about to list my gifts. Digital Camera!!! Yeessss. Harry Potter DVD (I love him). Napoleon Dynamite (I just watched it, its fucking hilarious). 200$, Gift Certificates, Jewelry, Bath Stuff, New Perfume (that Im still iffy about, but I think I might like it a lot, I just hate change... lol). & Candy! We went to Micheles Moms house, which is getting more enjoyable by the year. Im starting to feel more & more like part of the family. Then went out to my Papas house. Which is also the same case. Their was the whole discussion with my Mom & Janice (grandma...?) about teenagers all being the same (that was what they were insisting). I wanted to kill myself for about 5 minutes. But then I realized, ignorance is bliss & well, maybe theyre not wrong, just severely misinformed. I know one adult who I feel like I have ever actually been 110% truthful with. So maybe its my fault if my Mom is misinformed & therefore... agreeing with Janice.

Today - Came home from my Grandparents, rushed off to work. Saw Rocca tonight. Missed him a little.
I will be insanely busy for the next week... Work Schedule =
Breuggers; Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Sunday.
Marinellis; Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, Sunday.

What are the chances that 3 out of 4 days are all on the same day, oh I know - FUCKING GREAT, because that happens to me all the time. On the plus side, my checks should be fat & amazing, & gone in a day... aha.

"Tina you lard ass, come eat your dinner"

-I will wait forever for you. But I know you wont make me, & thats why I would be willing to.

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can we fake it? can we make believe? [13 Dec 2004|10:08pm]
[ mood | happy ]
[ music | Motion City Soundtrack - When you're around (acoustic) ]

But all I can do is close my eyes,
cross my heart & hope to die.

hmm. Im soo happy. The past few days I went from happy to worried to scared, like consecutively. Now Im just happy. I feel like Ive gotten a lot straightened out & I just trust someone a lot & its nice. Ya, Im still scared, but I actually really want to let my wall down now. I havent let it down in a while, or cared enough to want to. Its been a really long time since I felt this way. Since I wanted someone not because I couldnt have them, or because they were easy... but because theyre just amazing... I missed this. So what if Im scared. Maybe it'll be worth it & maybe it will be just another lesson learned.

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Still grounded.... :-/ [11 Dec 2004|09:57pm]
[ mood | bored ]
[ music | Radiohead - Creep ]

Today was alright.
Work took forever. I dont think its ever felt like so long.
Harry Potter'd it up. I <3 him. I think the weddings this Juy. lol.
Mike brought me Java Hutt when he got off work.
This kids fucking sweet. He made my day.
Which isnt anything new these past few days.
Large Green Tea Chai Coolers = one of my favorite things in the world.

HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY ADAM!!! Your one of my best friends in the world I heart you SO much!!!
YOU + ME = THE FUNNEST TIME EVER. We fucking crack eachother up & I love it.
I hope your birthday was extra sloppy & from the back (lmao).
Now you can buy me illegal stuff, like porn! Yesss.

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& will you tell all your friends, youve got your gun to my head? [10 Dec 2004|11:37pm]
[ mood | happy ]
[ music | Taking back Sunday - Cute without the "E" ]

I havent been this happy in forever. Even though Ive been grounded for two weeks, apparently have gotten my car taken away & etc.... So Im grounded. Which to my parents means, cant hang out with anyone at all. Except my Math teacher called Wednesday to tell my Mom its been months since I did homework & how Im not doing to well in the class. I thought this was horrible, just one more thing my Mom had to be pissed at me about. But she was hardly pissed & just asked me what I was going to do about it. Mikes in AP Calc & offered to help. So even though Im grounded.... hes allowed to come over whenever, just as long as we sit at the table & kind of do homework. Which is great, because I cant think of anyone Id want to see more then him right now. I really like this kid a lot. More then I think Ive liked anyone since.... like 8th grade. Like ya, Ive liked people a lot since then. But the last time I wanted to stay up alll night on the phone with someone, or just didnt want someone to leave, was 8th grade. This kids just cool. He comes over & sits at my table & helps me with homework just so we can atleast hang out. That really means a lot to me.

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& As long as there is light; Ill be there. [06 Dec 2004|11:30pm]
[ mood | off balance ]
[ music | Bacons Song. What is the name of it love? ]

Aah. I love this song Bacon. You are brilliant.

Tonight she played it, I cried. I felt silly. No one else seemed even remotely emotional. Besides maybe her. It was just good, & close to home & made me feel pathetic but understood at the same time. I keep teetering from one emotion to the next. Umm. Im sick of bullshitting. So I dont think Ill do that anymore. Its like Im honest to a fault in one area of my life... but in the other area, Im not at all. Atleast not to myself. I put up with things I dont want to, listen to things I dont want to, keep my mouth shut when I have valid things to say. Idk. I just think from now on, when I dont care about something, Im not going to fucking pretend to.

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[06 Dec 2004|10:40pm]

You Are the Individualist


You are sensitive and intuitive, with others and yourself.

You are creative and dreamy... plus dramatic and unpredictable.

You're emotionally honest, real, and easily hurt.

Totally expressive, others always know exactly how you feel.

Same test. Different Day. Different answer. Craaazy.
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I know there's a big world out there, like the one I saw on the screen. [05 Dec 2004|08:10pm]
[ mood | okay ]
[ music | The Postal Service - This place is a prison ]

Today was hectic but good.
Woke up late, missed Freddys lesson, couldnt find my Apron. Was late to my own induction ceremony. Was there only long enough to induct Freddy into my old position. Quickly became Vice President (of the teen group). Missed my Bacon Baby become President! But its ok, Ill be there as her V.P. to see how great she does every step of the way. Not to be shitty, but a whole bunch of newbies are taking office now & next year Ill be the only oldie left (w/ Freddy though, so thats good). & Ill be fine this year with Bacon still in office, & the others (Adam, Yellie, Court) still dropping in, but next year they ALL will have graduated... I will be all by my lonesome. But, lets not think of the future. Went to work at 1. Closed today. It was boring, but Im glad I closed with Steph. Its gonna fucking suck when I have to close with someone besides her man! Left Breuggers, went to Marinellis to check the schedule. Had to ask Jackie to take Sunday for me. Which sucks, so my next check from Marinellis will only be for 2 days! Im glad I have money to buy good gifts for my friends this year though. Its been well worth working all the time. Im grounded still. But I get off tuesday. Going xmas shopping then. Hanging out with Adam tomorrow but calling it "church stuff" so my Mom will let me. lol. I really have to go to school on time tomorrow! & Thats all so Im done...

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