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northstar [12 May 2004|12:20am] [ mood | cranky ] If you get the chance to wipe that glare off your face French kiss my fingerprints and heave it in an alleyway Defenseless yet so violent princess of divine Your ugliness arrived on time And I know I never was beautiful enough for you The scars on my back turn my fingers blue So take down my pictures, it's better that way That way I'm still seeing you I never needed you tonight but I just couldn't wait I was loaded and the hammer was ready I'm just not that brave... And I will be the king of the sky And you can wonder where I land I'm falling together Alone in wonderland Call me the king of the sky And you can wonder where I land I'm falling together Alone in wonderland And there are reasons why I forfeit that nightly mess Numbing my hands down that evening dress My daydreams love the violet color of your lips And the nightmares that accompany it So take that glare back and put it behind glass Become part of my history class I needed you tonight but I just couldn't wait I was loaded but my hands just aren't that steady But I'm not that brave... And I will be the king of the sky And you can wonder where I land I'm falling together Alone in wonderland Call me the king of the sky And you can wonder where I land I'm falling together Alone in wonderland I don't plan on you tonight so just shut off the lights Like you wanted to... + nikki + post comment

[12 May 2004|06:38am] I'll make this quick and painless..... anyone have any lyrics to do with loving someone who everyone claims isn't right for you, and that you can do better? Thankies! You're The Only One :: Maria Mena -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Well, I saw you with you hands above your head, spinning around, trying not to look down, but you did, and you fell, hard on the ground. Then you stumbled round for a good ten minuts, And I sayd I`ve never seen anyone look so dumb before And you laught and sayd ?I still know how to turn you on thoug? And you are the only one who, drags me, kickin and screamin trough fast dreams. And you are the only one who, Knows exactly what I need And I probably forgot to tell you this like the time when I forgot to tell you About the scar, remember how unconfertable that made you feel See you`re not what I expected, but you`re the only one who knows how to Handle me, and you`re such a great kisser, and I know that you agree. And you are the only one who, drags me, kickin and screamin trough fast dreams. And you are the only one who, Knows exactly what I need I hope you can forgive me for that time when I put my hand between you`re legs and sayd it was small, cause it`s really not at all. I guess there`s just a part of me that likes to bring you down just to keep you around, Cause the day you realize how amaizing you are, you`re gonna leave me! And you are the only one who, holds my hear back when I`m drunk and get sick And you are the only one who Knows exactly what I need And you are the only one who, drags me, kickin and screamin trough fast dreams. And you are the only one who, Knows exactly what I need Exactly what I need Well, I saw you with you hands above your head, spinning around, trying not to look down, but you did, and you fell, hard on the ground 2 comments|post comment

hello:) [12 May 2004|09:43am] [ mood | happy ] [ music | My Heart Is The Worst Kind Of Weapon - Fall Out Boy ] i haven't updated in a while, nor have i even been on blurty in forever, but i wrote this last night and i'm working on a tune for it. if you're wondering, yes it did in fact snow yesterday, and it's snowing today as well. blah. and as for the may 11th thing, for the last 5or6 years it's been a bad day for me. and now thanks to adam, i had a good one. hope you enjoy it:) may11 I stood out in the snow on the eleventh of May It was a very strange year. The flakes, well, if you can call them that, hit my face with an embrace I did not think I would see again until October. I wrapped my arms around my body, wishing you were here to see this knowing that you would see, but not here at the same time as me. I'm glad I went to that house that night. Remember when we walked and it felt like we'd walked all night We greeted the sun while everyone else slept It makes me wonder if we're half crazy or half sane, however you would like to look at this. You said your life was going to change, and well now so has mine. It's crazy like a snowfall in may, nearly summer but winter still seems to be hanging on It's crazy like this that makes me smile at my own insanity Makes me think I'm happy to be here. There is a bit of distance that separates us, and you know, I don't think I'd trade that for anything. Except maybe an apartment close to you, but distance makes the heart grow fonder Yes it does, it's true. My feet are covered with a light blanket of this confused snow I wrap my arms around my body, wishing you were here to see this. It's crazy like a snowfall in may, nearly summer but winter seems to still be hanging on. Baby you can call me "This Winter" because I know I'd still hold on. Because I think I really like you. And it's crazy like this that makes me smile at my small insanities Makes me think I'm happy to be here. Another love song that starts with a single chord My waning voice bringing you the story or something like it Only you and I have the pen to write this story The needle to weave this portrait, this story or something like it. It's the eleventh of May, first one in near six years that has been good. My bad luck day has turned around, but for some reason I'm standing in the snow. My life is changing and now everything is happier, and my little insanities are overlooked by the ones who know just what I might be. Craziest day of the year, snowing on the edge of the summer Meet me on the edge of the morning and I'll walk with you a while It's crazy like this that makes me happy to be around. Yeah, you really make me happy to be around. And well, I don't know if I'm going anywhere. comments please? 3 comments|post comment

The Stills - Still In Love Song [12 May 2004|09:44am] [ mood | busy ] When we were lovers we were kissers we were holders of hands we were make believers just losing time and you said you'd rather live in tee pee land than say that you care but you don't that's heartless and i will not try but i'm still in love and i'm still in love yeah i'm still in love and i'm still in love your dreams of acting on screen what do they mean you'll be dancing senseless in your bedroom and you find yourself out of a job and before too long you'll be selling lemonade to the overpaid and i'm still in love and i'm still in love and i'm still in love and i'm still in love and i'm still in love and i'm still in love i remember it was summer i was out of my head but you weren't your selfish end waste of space but i'm still in love and i'm still in love and i'm still in love and i'm still in love and i'm still in love and i'm still in love and i'm still in love 1 comment|post comment

to kevin [12 May 2004|09:57am] "i don't know if the scar on my heart will disappear, but i'll give you my all and pretend it's not there." post comment

[12 May 2004|11:21am] [ mood | accomplished ] ==matchbook romance== leave a message on your phone just to find out you're not home keeping up with you is something i could never do and i know something's wrong cause you've been gone too long a fucking waste of my time is all that you've become if i can't be the guy that you've always wanted me to be if i can't say the words that you always wanted me to say if i fall in the end, will you be holding on to me? because you, you said you'd never leave me the choice is up to you to find out what to do to let it go or keep kicking me to the side i'm getting tired of your shit and i can't deal with it i gave up giving in, and now it's time to say goodbye if i can't be the guy that you've always wanted me to be if i can't say the words that you always wanted me to say if i fall in the end, will you be holding on to me? because you, you said you'd never leave me stay with me... if i can't be the guy that you've always wanted me to be if i can't say the words that you always wanted me to say if i fall in the end, will you be holding on to me? because you, you said you'd never leave you, you said you'd never leave you, you said you'd never leave me post comment

Fuel-Bad Day [12 May 2004|11:47am] [ mood | blah ] [ music | fuel ] Had a bad day again She said I would not understand She left a note and said "I'm sorry, I had a bad day again. Spilled her coffee, broke her shoelace. Smeared the lipstick on her face. Slammed the door and said "I'm sorry, I had a bad day again." And she swears there's nothing wrong I hear her playing that same old song She puts me up and puts me on And had a bad day again She said I would not understand She left a note it said, "I'm sorry, I had a bad day again." 2 comments|post comment

the best third eye blind song! [12 May 2004|11:52am] [ mood | whatever! ] [ music | Falls on me ] HOW'S IT GONNA BE I'm only pretty sure that I can't take anymore Before you take a swing I wonder What are we fighting for When I say out loud I want to get out of this I wonder Is there anything I'm going to miss I wonder How it's going to be When you don't know me How's it going to be When you're sure I'm not there How's it going to be When there is no one to talk to, between you and me 'Cause I don't care How's it going to be How's it going to be Where we used to laugh There's a shouting match Sharp as a thumbnail scratch A silence I can't ignore Like... The hammocks by the doorway we spent time in Swings empty, don't see lightning like last fall when it was always about to hit me I wonder how's it going to be when it goes down Hows it going to be When your not around Hows it going to be When you found out there was nothing Between you and me 'Cause I don't care How's it going to be. Hows it going to be When you don't know me any more And how's it going to be Want to get myself back in again The soft dive of oblivian Wanna taste the soul of your skin The soft dive of oblivian Oblivian How's it going to be When you don't know me any more How's it going to be How's it going to be 2 comments|post comment

take notice, take interest, take me with you.... [12 May 2004|12:49pm] [ mood | bored ] [ music | ali singing ] I feel my body's lost control my knees get weak as i drift away and it gets darker, darker dreaming's where i am post comment

[12 May 2004|01:02pm] What a wicked game to play; to make me feel this way What a wicked thing to do; to let me dream of you What a wicked thing to say, you never felt this way What a wicked thing to do; to let me dream of you Oh, I wanna fall in love (This world is only gonna break your heart) No, I wanna fall in love (This world is only gonna break your heart) With you. 1 comment|post comment

take notice, take interest, take me with you.... [12 May 2004|01:06pm] [ mood | bored ] It's the way That he makes you feel It's the way That he kisses you It's the way That he makes you fall in love post comment

buttttttttttttttttttttt [12 May 2004|01:06pm] [ mood | bored ] It's the way That he makes you feel It's the way That he kisses you It's the way That he makes you fall in love 2 comments|post comment

Bright Eyes - A Perfect Sonnet [12 May 2004|01:55pm] [ mood | blah ] Lately I've been wishing I had one desire Something that would make me never want another Something that would make it so that nothing matters All would be clear then But I guess I'll have to settle for a for a few brief moments And watch it all dissolve into a single second And try to write it down into a perfect sonnet Or one foolish line Cause that's all that you'll get So you'll have to accept You are here and then you're gone But I believe that lovers should be tied together Thrown into the ocean in the worst of weather Left there to drown Left there to drown in their innocence But as for me I'm coming to the final chapter I read all of the pages and there's still no answer Only all that was before I know must soon come after That's the only way it can be So I stand in the sun And I breathe with my lungs Trying to spare me the weight of the truth Saying everything you've ever seen was just a mirror You've spent your whole life sweating in an endless fever And laying in a bathtub full of freezing water Wishing you were a ghost But once you knew a girl and you named her "Lover" Danced with her in kitchens through the greenest summer But autumn came, she disappeared, you can't remember Where she said she was going to But you know that she's gone Cause she left you a song That you don't want to sing Singing... I believe that lovers should be chained together Thrown into a fire with their songs and letters Left there to burn Left there to burn in their arrogance But as for me I'm coming to my final failure I've killed myself with changes trying to make things better And ended up becoming something other than what I had planned to be All right... I believe that lovers should be draped in flowers And laid entwined together on a bed of clovers Left there to sleep Left there to dream of their happiness. <3 ash. 2 comments|post comment

Bright Eyes - If Winter Ends. [12 May 2004|02:05pm] [ mood | Bright Eyes Obsessive ] I dreamt of a fever, one that would cure me of this cold, winter-set heart With heat to melt these frozen tears and burn with reasons as to carry on Into these twisted months I plunge without a light to follow But I swear that I would follow anything- just get me out of here But you get six months to adapt and you get two more to leave town And in the event that you do adapt we still might not want you around But I fell for the promise of a life with a purpose but I know that's impossible now And so I drink to stay warm and to kill selected memories 'cause I just can't think anymore about that or about her tonight And I give myself three days to feel better or else I swear I'll drive right off a fucking cliff because if I can't learn to make myself feel better then how can I expect anyone else to give a shit? I scream for the sunlight or a car to take me anywhere. just get me passed this dead and eternal snow 'cause I swear that I'm dying. Slowly, but it's happening and if the perfect spring is waiting somewhere just take me there and say and lie to me and say it's gonna be alright. 2 comments|post comment

[12 May 2004|02:15pm] [ mood | bored ] [ music | Atreyu - "Right Side of The Bed" ] I'm dying because the thought of you makes my heart stop. eh..just one of those one liners i thought up. holler. _emilee_ post comment

[12 May 2004|02:24pm] Trapped inside of your eyes, Gleam like stars above, emptiness inside. Caught inside of your arms, warmer than the sun, Emptiness so full. Although I can see, time is not running out, I still run behind everything. I don't understand, I embrace every thought, Everyword...everything. You're watching, my heart being, so close to you, Your bleeding thoughts. Open wounds still breathing You're my everything, you're my everything... Left behind hateful thoughts, overwhelmed by your mind, Lost in time again. Shadows bringing me down, jealous of your face, Drowning in your awe. Although I can see, time is not running out, I still run behind everything. I don't understand, I embrace every thought, Everyword...everything. You're watching, my heart being, so close to you, Your bleeding thoughts. Open wounds still breathing You're my everything, you're my everything... Tears of unseen light, heart stopping. Tears of unseen hope, heart stopping. You're watching, my heart being, so close to you, Your bleeding thoughts. Open wounds still breathing You're my everything, you're my everything... The truth brings new meaning, your my everything, And time stands still. post comment

[12 May 2004|02:42pm] when i looked at her face and i know that she'd changed your my all time plack then the sky turned grey your my all time plack then the sky turned grey and so i sat in my room for 27 days no she never called i had somethin' to say but no she never called i had somethin' to say well i don't know much and i don't know how why would she put me threw such torture i would have given my life for her she was the one that left me over now i'm lovesick and i'm not gonna call her will i bet she's great another boyfriend's lame she could go to hell it'll never be the same she could go to hell it'll never be the same we'll my open worms well they time i'd say your my all time plack then the sky turned grey your my all time plack and the sky turned grey Billy Talent lxl The Ex post comment

2 more behind the cut [12 May 2004|02:55pm] [ mood | creative ] [ music | you're so last summer - taking back sunday ] ( Read more... ) 1 comment|post comment

[12 May 2004|03:05pm] Taking Back Sunday-->Bike Scene I'll leave the lights down low so she knows I mean business And maybe we could talk this over Cause I could be your best bet Let alone your worst ex And let alone your worst... I wanna hate you so bad But I can't (but I can't) stop this anymore than you can So honestly, how could you say those things when you know they don't mean anything And you know very well that I can't keep my hands to myself, hands to myself I wanna hate you so bad But I can't (but I can't) stop this anymore than you can This is all wrong and it shows There's certain things I promised not to let you know, (I've got a silly way of keepin you up on the edge of my seat, I've got a silly way of keepin you up on the...) not to let you know I never, never... You've got this silly way of keeping me on the edge of my seat But you're only counting the clock against the train And I'm miserable, oh (I've got a silly way of keepin you up on the edge of my seat, I've got a silly way of keepin you up on the...) And you're just getting started I'm miserable, oh You've got me right where you want me (let's never talk) Let's never talk, let's never, let's never talk about this again because... I didn't want it to mean that much to me I didn't want it to mean that much to me I didn't want it to mean that much to me I didn't want it to mean that much to me 1 comment|post comment

[12 May 2004|03:21pm] [ music | senses fail - let it enfold you ] the characters are like mirrors facing mirrors: space always expanding post comment

[12 May 2004|03:25pm] Im infatuated with this ; infatuated with you. post comment

[12 May 2004|03:26pm] by the way, i wrote those last 2 things i posted. just in case you were wondering:) comments? post comment

Dear: I forgot your name again... [12 May 2004|03:30pm] So can't you see? You're seeing less of me, darling. And you're blind to the fact that my heart stop beating / and i`m as good as dead. NFG - Sincerely Me. post comment

[12 May 2004|04:21pm] [ mood | crappy ] [ music | Lucky Boys Confusion ] Could you tell me the next time that you're choking? 'Cause I'll rush right over to shove some dirt right down your throat 1 comment|post comment

[12 May 2004|04:25pm] [ mood | nostalgic ] [ music | Here in this diary *The Ataris ] This song makes me cry. Every single time I hear it I burst into tears. It could have been written for me about the summer before last, it's sooo perfect. Here In This Diary *The Ataris Here in this diary, I write you visions of my summer It was the best I ever had... There were choruses and sing-alongs, and that unspoken feeling Of knowing that right now is all that matters. All the nights we stayed up talking Listening to 80's songs, And quoting lines from all those movies that we love It still brings a smile to my face. I guess when it comes down to it... Being grown up isn't half as fun as growing up These are the best days of our lives The only thing that matters is just following your heart And eventually, you'll finally get it right. Breaking into hotel swimming pools, And wreaking havoc on our world Hanging out at truckstops just to pass the time The blacktop's singing me to sleep. Lighting fireworks in parking lots Illuminate the blackest nights Cherry Cokes under this moonlit summer sky 2015 Riverside, it's time to say goodbye. Get on the bus, it's time to go! Being grown up isn't half as fun as growing up These are the best days of our lives The only thing that matters is just following your heart, And eventually, you'll finally get it right. Get it right... Get it right... Being grown up isn't half as fun as growing up These are the best days of our lives The only thing that matters is just following your heart, And eventually, you'll finally get it right. Being grown up isn't half as fun as growing up These are the best days of our lives The only thing that matters is just following your heart And eventually, you'll finally get it right. 3 comments|post comment

" I am a dress code violater. Jesus, please forgive me. " [12 May 2004|04:25pm] [ music | some opera thing on the el television. ] i'd rob a quik-e-mart for you. 11 comments|post comment

[12 May 2004|04:57pm] yet here I am still with an infatuated heart and your living your life as if I no longer existed somehow I always manage to catch a glimpse of you through my blindspot as were walking passed each other just so I can see your face and remember the day I lost you post comment

[12 May 2004|06:06pm] [ mood | listless ] Inside me. Empty, is how you left. Confused, scared, alone. I am confused. I am scared. I am alone. I am without you. You are heartless, without compassion. I will watch you die I will notcry. Haze clouds these translucent eyes. Sweat creeps down callused hands. The lies outside, I cannot feel. The pain inside burns. And as tears slip, she does it again. As tears slip she does it again. Scarred, bruised and broken. To the ground in tears I fall. Sadnesslocked inside me. Time ticks by, and soon I realize life won't end, it can't end. Not like this, not without sorrow and not with fear! I know you are scared, cause I am too. And as tears slip she does it again. Haze clouds these translucent eyes. Sweat creepsdown callused hands. The lies outside, I cannot feel. The pain inside burns. I know you cared. Why did you leave? From my knees I now stand. Begging for freedom from my cage. Now praising life for what I was given. From my knees I now stand. Bleeding for you from my heart. Now hating life for what was taken from me, by you. 3 comments|post comment

[12 May 2004|06:06pm] Request: Does anyone know any songs about not being able to stop looking at someones eyes? Something along those lines. Or about wanting someone back so badly? Much love for any help. Lyrics: Give up the Ghost It's one of those nights when you're not sure who the real 'you' is anymore I said that I would end myself but I think too much about family, you see I need to see if I can bask in a different world This is my swan song to my criminal boys and girls And no one really loves us as the sun does fall And a fact without no truth just isn't fact at all I want out of here, I need to find the stars but the sky's hiding them as we are ashamed of what we've ruined The words I write stuttered the times I spoke I've never been too close with love, life, trust and faith I need out of here, I need a head clear I know my voice isn't great but at least it's sincere 2 comments|post comment

[12 May 2004|06:11pm] love is a risk to always get hit out of nowhere, by some crash and end up on your own. 1 comment|post comment

with five words [12 May 2004|06:33pm] the waves that crash down your face burn your eyes red and i'll seperate the glasses because i know you hate them all but you don't know if you still care and i'm breaking down the sand walls to save your drowning heart sing me to sleep at night you'll fill me with thoughts of you and him you'll burn my insides blow me that goodnite kiss let me know how much you don't love me you'll burn my insides when you said "it's over" you broke our hearts together {like the cigarette you smoke suck me in just to blow me out} and one by one things all changed and with five words we died whisper those five sweet words you'll let me know how much you don't love me you'll burn my insides you'll burn you'll burn you'll burn 1 comment|post comment

[12 May 2004|06:55pm] hey love, where did you come from? and where are going to? like a dream door just opened, something worth waiting for. and i laid eyes on you while i cried a million silent tears because you would never see. I fell into your embrace with every hit that i take. And even still i love you more with every smile you make. reminsing how i fell into your eyes that night, and i almost killed myself from fighting my desire to kiss you. like a story i always read about, a perfect night ending with the girl getting that kiss under the moonlight. I still recall counting the stars and watching them fall, our bodies were to cold for comfort so we hid under our winter coats, and i swore that life could not get any better. well that night came to an end, an akward silence ending with a goodbye. and how i wish i could try and make you see, you were everything from the start to me. Walked on stage, and i knew you did not notice, with every chord you played me heart was already yours. i remember it like yesterday, a bashful smile passing each other in the hall way. losing all the words i wish i could say. Because would you ever realize? A girl with a heart full of empitness felt so full when you were around. Like a sudden tear that would hit the ground, because i never could make this be - a world meant for you and me. like a unexpected dream, the wishful thinking was made up by the sound of those words, an arm to hold me, and you told me, 'That you could never leave, and the pondering of how you ever got so lucky.' Like those stars that shown above me, its those moments that make life worth living. Now that I have you, your right by my side. I could never run and hide, don't you see - im so used to love being a game, something worth the fame of my heart being broken and my wings being torn, but with you - theres not place id rather be. Then right here, labeling this love for you and me. However, love - im terrified. Maybe, perhaps, thats why I play this way. Just getting ready for that day- when you'll pack your bags and be on your way. A nightmare - that you could not stay. But im sick of being foolish, im sick of wondering how it will be when you leave, im sick of counting down the seconds till you realzie you never loved me. So take my heart, its yours, i wont look back. with you, theres nothing i lack. Theres no dream i wish could come true, theres no more wishful thinking, theres no running - because how could i ask for more? I already have all i ever longed for. 6 comments|post comment

I can't save her as she falls in love with disaster. [12 May 2004|07:13pm] [ mood | pissed ] [ music | "Glycerine"-Bush ] I am through with you. Turn your cameras off. Show me something real. You are nothing now without your friends. I'll cut you to ribbons My favorite color of confetti It's hard to threaten me with a brick in your mouth You are nothing without your friends. 1 comment|post comment

::you do something to me that i can't explain:: [12 May 2004|07:34pm] [ mood | complacent ] [ music | I Miss You- Incubus ] "As we grow up we learn that the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let us down probably will..you will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder everytime..you'll break hearts too so remember how it felt when yours was broken..you'll fight with your best friend and might even fall in love with one of them..you'll blame a new love for things an old one did..you'll cry because time is passing so fast and eventually you'll lose someone you love..so take too many pictures, laugh too much and love like it's never gonna hurt because each day that passes is one that you can't get back." im not sure where it's from-- i just think its so cute 2 comments|post comment

It's been a while.. [12 May 2004|07:39pm] i really wouldn't mind a fight sometimes but i care too much no one else cares enough so i will be careful for all of us you think this time that i'd be blaming myself for this one i've changed my mind i can carry on i'd trade the truth for some lies sometimes i feel better not knowing whats going on no one else cares enough so i will be careful for all of us how was i supposed to know how was i supposed to know this was the strange one this was the strange one take what you want because take what you want because take what you want because you think this time that i'd be blaming myself for this one i've changed my mind i can carry on. friends suck if they aren't good ones.. 1 comment|post comment

[12 May 2004|07:46pm] keep the silence. i no longer need to cover our acquaintance in candy coated deceit. i no longer recquire your false impressions and restrained thoughts. honesty is a fucking virtue, and for you to keep lying will only result in the break down of the tiny castles in which we wish to reside. so do exactly what you have been, as the only negative turn it will bring is the one where i start using words that never once belonged in my mouth. words that my tongue spits out so randomnly the word context cannot apply. i will not understand what you mean, so please, take this opportunity to get lost in the words i tangled together out of pure confusion. and enjoy they way i destroyed them, because it's exactly the way you're destroying me. post comment

[12 May 2004|07:56pm] [ mood | blank ] [ music | Dashboard - Agian i go unnoticed ] I wonder where your heart is ’Cause it sure don’t feel like it’s here Sometimes I think you wish That I would just disappear Have I got it all wrong Have you felt this way long Are you already gone Do you feel lonely When you’re here by my side Does the sound of freedom Echo in your mind Do you wish you were by yourself Or that I was someone else Anyone else Where would you be If you weren’t here with me Where would you go If you were single and free Who would you love Would it be me Where would you be I don’t wanna hold you back No I don’t wanna slow you down I don’t wanna make you feel "ike you are tied up and bound ’Cause that’s not what love’s about If there’s no chance we can work it out Tell me now Oh’ tell me tell me now Where would you be If you weren’t here with me Where would you go If you were single and free Who would you love Would it be me Where would you be Have I become the enemy Is it hard to be yourself In my company Where would you be If you weren’t here with me Where would you go If you were single and free Who would you love Would it be me Where would you be 1 comment|post comment

[12 May 2004|07:56pm] anyone know any songs about someone saying they would always be there for you then there gone? 2 comments|post comment

* sing me to sleep * [12 May 2004|08:11pm] [ mood | sad ] [ music | The Smiths - "Asleep" ] * I can only hope the answers will come to me in my sleep I hope that when the world comes to an end I can breathe in a sigh of relief Because there will be so much to look forward too * 5 comments|post comment

[12 May 2004|08:12pm] [ mood | crying ] [ music | anberlin ] i need help. my boyfriend broke up with me a few days ago. and i can't even lookat him in school. i can't talkt o him. i'm bawling right now. the first time all day. i need help getting over him. does anyone have any suggestions? i'm freaking desperate. please. 6 comments|post comment

for class [12 May 2004|08:19pm] [ mood | creative ] [ music | yeah yeah yeahs 'maps' ] hey guys ..i have a final exam for painting class and its free choice. i'm having a hard decision on what i should paint.. do any of you guys have an idea? someone told me i should do some spiffy shoes like converse or something so if any of you guys have any idea..comments..pictures..don't hesitate to IM me or comment.. me AIM: xxdork1016xx .. email newfoundglorie912@yahoo.com 6 comments|post comment

[12 May 2004|08:33pm] Cause it's always raining in my head 2 comments|post comment

[12 May 2004|08:42pm] [ mood | lonely ] BLINK 182 LYRICS "Always" I've been here before a few times And I'm quite aware we're dying And your hands they shake with goodbyes And I'll take you back if you'd have me So here I am I'm trying So here I am are you ready Come on let me hold you touch you feel you Always Kiss you taste you all night Always And I'll miss your laugh your smile I'll admit I'm wrong if you'd tell me I'm so sick of fights I hate them Lets start this again for real So here I am I'm trying So here I am are you ready So here I am I'm trying So here I am are you ready Come on let me hold you touch you feel you Always Kiss you taste you all night Always Touch you feel you Always Kiss you taste you all night Always I've been here before a few times And I'm quite aware we're dying Come on let me hold you touch you feel you Always Kiss you taste you all night Always Touch you feel you Always Kiss you taste you all night Always 2 comments|post comment

this just feels so right... [12 May 2004|08:47pm] [ mood | anxious ] [ music | juliana theory ~ the closest thing ] you're the words that come out easy and i am speechless at best your star it seems to shine above the rest you're the face before the cameras the smile i'd like to earn the closest thing to perfect in a hollywood to burn your the beauty that is deeper than than eyes can merely see the closest thing to perfect but the farthest thing from me and i'd love to be the shoulder that you cry on and i'd love to be the friend you call when things are great you're the dream that hasn't ended and i'm still anxious for rest your words they seem to hang above my head you're the bud before the flower unfurls into full bloom captivating beauty but it may be all too soon you're the song that writes a story but leaves a lot to read the closest thing to perfect but the farthest thing from me and like i really deserve a chance to sit across a table and tell you that i think you're wonderful and i think you're something special i guess this is my only chance to say i wish i knew you because i'm sure you're wonderful if i'd get to know you. 1 comment|post comment

i want the feeling that i belongg... [12 May 2004|09:02pm] - you see, my old man he aint got a problem....he just lives with a bottle- thats the way it is..- post comment

[12 May 2004|09:04pm] -------------------------- Dear Romeo, Did you really think Juliet was dead? Or were you just tired of all of her bullshit? Sincerely, Stephanie -------------------------- post comment

[12 May 2004|09:09pm] but your taste still lingers on my lips, like i've just placed them upon yours and i starve, I STARVE FOR YOU, but this new diet's liquid, and dulling to the senses, and it's crude, but it will do... i hope it will do... 2 comments|post comment

[12 May 2004|09:09pm] [ mood | angry ] Cmon! Damn right I’m still pissed. Next time I see your face we’ll see who has the upper hand. Kiss my fist. Taste the floor. Tired of your games. Fuck off goodbye. 2 comments|post comment

Fuck you and the future we don't have [12 May 2004|09:14pm] [ mood | accomplished ] [ music | Bayside ] This is a poem I wrote for English class... I hope you all like it... -better this way- Cheerless looking cherry curtains, Thick, coarse and aged, Dampen the sunlight Leaving your room in dreary shadows Somehow, you whisper to yourself, it’s better this way. A fan twice as aged as the curtains, Vainly spins with bent blades And a nearly burnt out motor, Leaving the air heavy and oppressive Somehow, you whisper to yourself, it’s better this way. Photos once prized sway in the tepid draft Some fall away from the mirror they once so lovingly adorned Ones of fractured moments of bliss broken from a life of melancholy Float away to the depths of the shadows to be pressed from memory Somehow, you whisper to yourself, it’s better this way. An empty heart to match empty bottles, Laying half under threadbare sheets Tossed aside after another night of restless sleep Labels half worn off show the direction your nights take Valium, Bacardi, and your ever-favorite poison of Vodka, You always catered to the Russian side of your soul on nights you’d rather forget Too many nights in a row you work on memory loss Somehow, you whisper to yourself, it’s better this way. Permanently illuminated in dim light Force your days to seem endless And beginning-less; melding with one another This shell of a life is your existence now Porcelain innocence shattered Worse then a china doll dropped from a third story window Somehow, you whisper to yourself, it’s better this way. The sultry air is blowing a bit harder now, The damaged fan blades are being guided by fierce gusts If you ever bothered to look past your dinghy crimson curtains You might realize that the sky is as black as the heart of your former supposed lover His picture is the next to be cast away from your vanity Discarded into the unknown depths of the shadows filling your room A smile touches the corner of your chapped and withered lips Somehow, you know it’s better this way. 2 comments|post comment

[12 May 2004|09:40pm] Sit, trying to look forward but I'm scared of what I see So close my eyes Let the memories flow Transported back to the sun and sea But then I remember Tidal wave of regrets Engulf me, choke me, drown me. Scared to move forward And the past still haunts me The present seems so mundane So I live in this life Unsure of what to do Or where to go Don't even know who I am these days.... Yeh....don't really know what to say...this kind of explains it I spose....but maybe it doesn't cause no matter how I try to explain how I feel, people don't seem to hear me.... post comment

[12 May 2004|09:53pm] [ mood | content ] I'm glad that you're near And I'm sad when you're here This is what it's like to be me I'm glad that you're here And I'm sad that you're near This is what it's like to die alone. This all hurts me so much That I honestly belive You're theone this is hard for Iv'e barterd tact for with And I've already made up A billion stories about you. Knee deep in static I hear you breaking up I'm breaking up I guess we're breaking up You're not the other woman You're just another(woman) Another hobby for a guy like me. You've given me a heart like a gun And I'm so shocked that I made it through These billion days. I didn't think I could tough it out for those days A billion. Knee deep in static I hear youbreaking up I'm breaking up I guess we're breaking up You're not the other woman You're just another(woman) Another hobby for a guy like me. So we're growing? I'm sure There's no other I can turn to Theres no other I can turn to If not you, heart Who else can I belive??? Knee deep in static I hear you breaking up I'm breaking up I guess we're breaking up You're not the other woman You're just another(woman) Another hobby for a guy like me. I hope you enjoy dying alone 5 comments|post comment

[12 May 2004|10:02pm] if only you were here things would be more magical if i were there right now would be more radical *hellogoodbye - call and return* post comment

[12 May 2004|10:21pm] [ music | mistakes we knew we were making ] . . '. *regret's how i spell your name in light of what yOu have done how can you not feel the same my love will f a d e with the sun as days go by, shed a tear i hate your face more than life i'll fake a smile for [ you ] my dear so .turn. away post comment

why can't I forget him? [12 May 2004|10:36pm] i've probably tried this before. i've probably burned truckloads of your stuff. i just can't remember to *forget* you. 3 comments|post comment

And I remember that summer, I was out of my head. [12 May 2004|11:06pm] [ mood | let down ] [ music | "Vindicated"-Dashboard Confessional ] old school. "Better Late Than Never"-Counterfit Sit still And watch the lights of This city scape Streak by in straight lines In record time. I hadn't thought of this picture... And thought is all I have to miss of her. I remember Those times that I opened up my mouth In hopes of saying something clever. To think I haven't cared that much about What I've said in years... Stepped out on the sidewalk. Ten paces across the parking lot. And through the hallway. Pull the door and enter. We pay with faded paper. I remember I thought: Don't act so interested, I'm not so interesting. Those times that I opened up my mouth In hopes of saying something clever. To think I haven't cared that much about What I've said in years... And maybe I'll call, It's better late than never. I promise I'll call, It's better late than never... I Am Right I Swear I'm Right Swear I Knew It All Along. post comment

[12 May 2004|11:11pm] kiss my loveless wrists 1 comment|post comment

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