Sometimes men can be so misleading!

4:14pm: ah shit son
man it has been forver since i have updated in this shit. its all in my lj. well yeah this summer is going pretty good hangin with friends meeting new people partying and goijng to concerts. its just going by way too fast.
it needs top slow down for real because i don't want to be a senior, i don't want to graduate and leave people like ANGEL AND STACEY AND AMANDA behind. i mean i am soo gald that the bullshit of high school is coming to and end i just don't want to leave my firends and just afriad of change a little bit and i have no idea what i want to do. one plan is to move to new jersey and live with sheen sheen got to a community college there and get a job. but yeah that is what has bee going through my head a lot lately especially after me and angela went on that walk.
<3
savannah
i hate using good grammar in journals it is way too much work1

12:48pm: i got the mic and you got the moshpit!!!
okay so i rarely update in any journals besides my lj
so for this one i will make it into a question one
my first question is....
in one word or phrase what would you describe me as?
i don't know if that makes any sense
but i think u all can figure it out
peace out mo fuggas

9:25pm: i wish i may i wish i might
this week has been pretty good
except that some unmentioned fuckers suck ass
for making my friends cry
karma bitches karma
this weekend is gonna own
don't know quite yet what iam doing friday
but saturday chillin wit amanda stacey austin and kerry
should be freakinfreakin awesome
sunday goin to the against me! concert
mo fuggers
i drove my volvo today it was nice
i love my car and all its ghettoness
u all should put in an aplication for mtvs pimp my ride
here are things (to name a few) that are wrong with my car
1 stalls all the time
2 the blinkers turn on both ways
3 the above light duct taped
4 door handle falling off passenger side
5 ceiling falling off
6 windows won't open
and the list goes on and on
for real yall should do that
peace mo fuckas
<3
sav and her pimpin volvo

7:01pm: tell me something i don't know about myself
********I LOVE YOU NIKKI********
<3
*sav*
***i love all of my friends***

8:03pm: SOOO, ur giving up on me!!
on me or on our friendship
i guess i will have to get over it
i really did cherish our friendship
i don't want to be stupid and say i never saw it coming cause i did
i guess
i wasn't there 4 u
or i did something
or maybe it isn;t my fault at all
and ur reasons are selfish
i don't even know if u read this ne more
i am happier now that i have realized who my true friends really are
and i guess u don't want to be one of them
and it hurts
but i guess i am gonna have to get over it
but i will always see u as one of my friends
and i will always love u as one of my friends
even if u don't reciprocate those feelings
or if u ever did














i think u know who this is for
ND
<3
always
savannah

8:50pm: FUCK ME!!!
FUCK MY LIFE!!!
AND FUCK MY STUPID MISTAKES!!
WHATS THE POINT IN LIVING!!
WHEN THERE IS NOTHING TO LIVE FOR AT ALL!!!
RIDDLE ME THIS
WHAT IS THERE TO LIVE FOR IN LIFE!!
<3
the fucker
sav

11:08pm: BLAH!
live journal sux
it won't let me change my username
and if i do i have to pay$15
how homosexual is that
very i say
i think i may just start a new one again
but that is a lot of work
i just hate having a username some1 else used to have
i feel so unoriginal
it sux
i guess thats what i get fro loving brand new sooooo much
tehe
i will get over it eventually
its so weird
i never had the time to write a journal and keep up with it on paper
but now i am on journals pretty much all the time
i guess it is just more interesting
when other people are reading and commenting on ur life
well i think i am gonna start writng in this also
since i told my mom i cancelled it
tehe
she believed me
some times parents are so dumb
they have no idea what they r doing newayz
they r just doin g what tey think is right an dsometimes it make s a situation a lot worse when they get too involved
i wish my parents didn't care what i did
i am gonna be a cool parent
if i ever have kids.
well peace out!

8:52pm: PULL THE TRIGGER AND THE NIGHTMARE STOPSSSSSSSS!!!
I am talking to sheena on the phone right now and tears are streaming down my face and she doesn't know no1 know s the real me i don't even think i know the real me. i am so confused and lonely.
i do want a friendw benefits
but i also just want to fall in llove and be on cloud nine.
i don't know what to do.
i don't want to be here ne more i just want to escape from this nightmare of my life.
what do i do
i don't know
some 1 just made a comment that really hurt my feelings
and one of my so called friends doesn't even want to talk to me i guess he thinks i like him which is not true at all
i don't know how he feels about me but i wish he wouldn't ignore because it makes me sad and it hurts my feelings
idk
people have such bad impressions of me
i wish i could change the way i am
but i can't change for ne1 but myself
and its sooo hard to change the person u have been 4 17 almost 18 years
well thats it
<3
sav

8:46pm: Hey Guys!
just wanted to let you know that i am not making ne more journals entries in here cause my mom found out about it
so i am going to start one some where else
ask me about it and i will tell you where its at and the username
i will definitely miss my blurty and my icon

7:24pm: You'll never find it if you're looking for it!
Good advice from a gr8 friend, but it is very hard to follow.
I know i shouldn't waste my time trying to find someone,
but it is so hard just to let go and let god.
I just want some one to be there for me emotionally, and sexually.
i mean i love my friends they r gr8 to talk to.
But I WANT A MAN!!!!
I wish i had no emotions to deal with(got that form corbin) still feel that way.
I want a date for prom, i kinda want to go w/ dusty.
but i am not sure if he even knows my name, which sux, big butt.
yea but i really want to go to prom!
neways i don't know what i am going to do this weekend
i want to hang out w/ the usual cool kids
but chelle says she wants alone time w/ steve-o
they get that neways but i bet people will end up showing up at his house neways
but what can u do
i think people are shoppin gfor prom dresses this weekend
i kinda want to go and get a dress but i am not sure that
i am going yet, i really want a date as i have stated b4
well my grades were really shity
got tv and most internet access taken away
not the weekend yet, hopefully not at all
i wish i was clever, and had interesting things to say
we went to McDonalds today 4 breakfast
me and angela rode in chazs trunk till we got to her car
he went over a bump and i hit my head
i've had a headache since
we had gr8 discussions sbout not pooing in school
fun times
well i have to study and get off the internet
i will leave you with part of a cursive song
In the morning
on the silver dawn of sunday
not sure what you have done

who told youlove was fleeting
sometimes men can be so misleading
to take what they need from you

whatever you need to make you feel
like you were the one behind the wheel
the sun rises over the hill
the worst is over
whatever is said to make you think
that love is the religion of the week
the worst is over
do doo do doo do do
do doo do doo do do
the worst is over
(i think i 4 got a line oh well)
<33333333
me

9:47pm: TO THE WINDOW TO THE WALL!!!!!!
WHOOP!WHOOP!!
hey kids
i am chillin at steve-os house
w/ mitchell, nicole, curt, aron,laura,and o course steve-o
ne wayz its kinda boring just listenin to gay music
yeah michelle and steven r still 2gether whoop whoop
she deserves better than what she got
but i think he understands what he has done to her
and i think they truly love each other
and if ne1 fucks w/ their relationship or nikki and curts
i'll have to fuck their day up
newayz nuff bout that
yesterday was gr-8 that band
two towns over was awesome
they knew me cause my parents used to teach them
ne wayz the lead singer is really hott
i'd wtung that man(inside joke)
i got a shirt and a demo and a pin
and i bought mel a shirt also
she and john have a lil something
i am happy for her
they r at islands of adventure
yeah but i am gonna go
cause every1 is being krazay
<3333333
me

7:37pm: Ur in my web now i'll wrap you up tight until its time to bite down!
Cursive owns!
dude so much shit is going on
steven cheated on michelle
stupid slutty girls
when i found out
i just wanted to bury
my head in my pillow
and cry forever
why do people have to fuck
up other peoples relationships
just b/c they are not happy w/theirs
two towns over is coming friday to
mims church of god
if you want to go ask me bout it
i skipped third period again
good times
i want to get out of that class
i think corbin is happier
that would make me happy
melissa wasn't @ school today
id think
@ least i didn;t see her
i missed her
that was the point of saying all that
omg i am so mad at joe
he told rainey that i like him
ahhhhhhhhhh!
but the weird thing is
i don't think i like him ne more!
WELL PEACE!!!!

9:08pm: My ego is like my stomach it keeps shiting what i feed it!
that song is gr8!
love that cd!
My parents are treating me like shit
and i try to let it roll off my back
i'm always a disappointment to every1
friends and family
i'm trying to get better
i know i can be selfish sometimes
but we all can @ points
but i always try to go out of my way to make some1
who is down feel a lil better
i felt so bad for corbin today!
i skipped to got to every lunch again
hopefully i can get out of my 3rd period class
cause i am fat and don't want to run every day
and so i can have lunch with the coolest people
but the only thing is chaz would be sitting all by himself
if i left fourth lunch
blah i'm ugly
and every1 is talking about prom
and every1 has a date
and the people i want to go w/
are really hot
or not @ school this year
and i am sick of liking some 1
and no 1 liking me
it gets real old after a while!
haha!
ask row about his beanie if u know him!
hopefully i can go to that concert friday
and hang out w/ nikki and michelle
and those crazy cool kids saturday!
well there is not a new one tree hill 2nite
oh well!
oc on tomorrow
whoop whoop!
BLAST! looks like im gonna go 2 school 2morrow!
Later Days!
<333333( got that 4m mel)
me

7:07pm: I'm starting to feel it now!!
So much has happened since i last wrote!
not really but alil'
well friday was boring
i failed my history exam
i hope i didn't fail that class
than i saw michelle getting checked out
so i left with her cause i didn't feel like
staying @ school
i am so confused
i have no idea what i am going to do
and i have no idea who to talk to about it
don't get me wrong
my friends are awesome people
and i can talk to them about ne thing usually
but they have their own shit to worry about
and they don't need to have my burdens put on them too
but enough bout that
this weekend i went to my dads house
it was okay
better than i thought it would be
hung out with mike
and had to go to work with them on saturday
that was tiring
and didn't even get paid
oh well
sunday went shopping
i'm so fat
blah!
and then my lil step brother got beat up
by this stupid black boy
i was pissed
then 2 cops came
an ambulance and fire fighter
oh shit son!!!TEHE
oh that kid that was my friend w/ benefits
starting shit again
saying that i had sex with him and i gave him a blow job
and that i gave his friend a hand job
too bad none of that shit ever happened
he won't have sex with a girl ne ways
cause he is to afraid of getting a girl pregnant
too bad thats what condoms and birth control is for
oh well i just guess you have to expect
guys to say shit like that to look cool in front of their friends
well i guess you just have to roll with the punches
whatever!
oh man i miss every1 in 1+3 period
oh and corbin
thank you so much for that cursive cd
it is the best
i have not stopped listening to it yet!
thanks g!
oh i got this cool belt that i stole from mike
its a spinner belt
that hot kid nick has 1
oh and that kid JR
is in my soccer class
woo! woo!
i am a loser!
well thats about it!
<333333
me

9:14pm: WHAT!!! YEAHH!!! OKAY!!!!
I'm not mad @ that person ne more 4 not calling
i wasn't really mad just sort of dissappointed
ne wayz today was crazy
i didn't get the Get Up Kids Cd
cause i thought it was gonna be like 12$
but turned out to be only 5.99
i was sad and no1 had ne $ to lend
well i'm tired
and the oc is on
right now is a commercial
so peace out

9:52pm: I'm trying so hard!:(
I really am trying to be a happier person
but some things just bring me down
and i visit that place
that i wish i never have to go back to
i love my friends
and i hope they love me too
and when someones says they are gonna call back
at least have the courtesy to call back
i mean you don't have to hang out w/ me
i'm not ur only friend and at least u have
a relationship w/some1
its not like i'm gonna kill myself if my friends don't always want to hang out w/ me
i understand that you have alife outside of me
i'm not that selfish and definitely not that naive nor ignorant
well thats about it
tomorrow i'm goin to waterford w/ melissa
we are probably skipping the whole day
oh well i'll probably get in trouble
i think i'm gonna go to my dads house this weekend
b/c i need to get away for a few days from my friends and family
i think they definitely need a break from me too
i'm starting to like this guy
i don't know him a whole lot
i have hung out w/ him on weekends b4
he's really hott
and i think i'm just setting myself up for heartbreak again
i don't want to fall for some1
who most likely has no interest in me at all
there i just spilled my heart out
do with that what you'd like
peace out
ohhhhhhhhhh brother!!

9:08pm: Scream my lungs out try to get to you!
U r my only, my only 1! thats a gr-8 song!
ne wayz back @ the ranch!
idk what i'm doin tomorrow
think i'm just sleeping in
b/c pretty much every1 that i hang out w/ is goin to the beach!
i just talked to cindy she might come over
ne can cause my parents are not going to be home!
but were not sure i might go over there
she lives near nick(he's really hott)
but i'm so glad i passed the FCAT
so i don't have to go to school the first 2 periods tomorrow
guess what i just found out that
brand new and taking back sunday are both playing at warped tour
but i'm not sure if they are gonna play @ florida yet
my fingers are crossed though
i wish i saw that passion of the christ movie
i might go see it this weekend
if i can find some1 to go w/
i might just wait until it comes out on video
b/c this weekend could be a lot of fun
if everything goes well!
this past weekend was awesome
got to hang out w/ Amber she is so awesome
i have not hung out w/ her 4 ever Dude
and i also hung out w/ nicole and those really gr-8 awesome kids
id remember everything that happened but it was a good weekend
i hat when i have to stay @ home
i love my friends!
well well on a personal note my dad called yesterday night
actually it was my step-bro
and he s cool and all
we like the same things hes easy to talk to he's more of my brother
than my real brother is
but newayz hes all like r u coming over soon
its been 4ever
i was like idk when i left things weren't that gr-8
lots of fights and disagreements and shit like that
i said maybe just depends on if i have ne thing planned 4
the weekend, so i'm not sure what i'm going to do yet
but it looks like theres gonna be lots to do here this weekend
so idk
wednesday i hope 2 go 2 waterford w/ melissa
and i hope to get the new Get Up Kids Cd
i'm excited
i'm having wishful thinking bout that
well thats bout it
i hope i get to talk to these 2 guys i like more
well their really hot
if ur my friend
i gueeesssss you could ask me
and mayyybbbeee i'll tell you
well
she bangs she bangs
the way
she moves she moves
tehe
tehe

11:42pm: GONADS AND STRIFE!!!!!
heyhey!
I want to wtung that shit man!!
tehe !
only alisa would understand!!!
newayz thats where i'm at!
having a freakin blast!!
I'm dressin preppy! and i am really nervous
if ur my friend plzzz! don't make fun!
they won't let me out of the house w/o those clothes on!!
HELP MEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!
I like someone new!!
He is so hott!
i don't know if he knows who i am!!
But oh what a dream!
if he asked me out!!
LALALA!!
ok know kinda sad stuff!!
its a poem about a kid that i used to like but we don't talk nemore!!
Everytime I see you,
I instantly want to run.
Everytime you speak,
I wish to be deaf>
Everytime you look @ me,
I wish I were invisible>

If I never knew you,
I'd be better off.
If i never saw you again,
i wouldn't complain.
if i had to choose b/w,
you and some1 else,
i'd choose them.

You always put me down.
you can't accept me for me.
you always say i'm wrong.
even when you know i'm right.
i don't like that kid nemore
just had a weird dream bout him last night!

8:50pm: The O.C.Owns!!!
Hey hey!
OC is on tonight!
Whoopwhoop!!
ne wayz church was good we weretalking about the movie Passion!
I talked to Chaz and i hope we are okay now!!!
Today was normal!
Corbin didn't come!
Poohead!
he only wanted to go to find out something newayz!
thats pretty much it!
PEACE OUT MY NIGGAS!(i'm such a rebel, don't kill me though)!
kinda lame tonight sorry peeps!
this entry didn't keep you on the edge of ur seat!

5:27pm: The Glass Is Half Full!!!!!!!!!:-)
things are starting to look up!
I had an awesome day!
i laughed so hard today that my eyes were watering!
it was the awesomest!
we made chicken fettucine alfredo!
and of course that was awesome b/c Chris made most of it
he is the master chef!
chaz is being weird!
Ben pushed me into Rainey today!
he is so hott!
i gave ben a purple nurple
+ he has not got me back YET
its only a matter of time!
in 2 i actually paid attention and took notes
same in third!
lunch was hilarious(REEFER REDEMPTION)!!
HAHAHAHA!!!
fourth brandon screams out that he has poop on his shoes!
every1 was cracking up!
turns out it was only chocolate!
i cannot wait until this weekend!
hopefully i'll get to hang out w/ Nicole+those peeps!
well i got heller homework to do!
PEACE OUT!!!!

9:01pm: I believe in a thing called love!!!
Dude i used to not like that song, but it sort of grows on you! Sheena agrees!
don't know what i was looking for when i went home
i found me alone
sometimes i need someone to say you'll be allright, whats on ur mind
but the waters shallow here
and i am full of fear
Dude i love Yellowcard!
i can't wait till they come!
Last time i couldn't go b/c the show was sold at!
Today was lame, i'm glad i got to talk to nicole, she listens it helps!
I can't believe they did that to Brads hair its cra-zee!
People were talking shit anout him today, and i stuck up for him, IDK why cause were not tight homies or nething like that !
well thats pretty much it!
BYe

9:53pm: The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot!
I need an es-cap-ee!
I can't wait till i can drive, so i can get out of this hell whole of a fucking town, and getaway from the people who pretend to care but they really don't!
Home again!
No one called!
No surprise there!
Thata pretty much it!

10:11pm: Jesse is so sexxxxy!!!!!!!
MY ICON OWNS!!!!!
THANK YOU SHEENA!
GARRETT IS SEXIER THOUGH!!!!

10:05pm: GOOD TO KNOW THAT IF I EVER NEEDED ATTENTION ALL I HAVE TO DO IS DIE!!!!!
Everytime I get hope it just feels like a countdown until it gets bad again! Therein lies my problem!
Jesse says that his goal for the upcoming year for Brand New is-
To write songs that mean so much to people...and sound so beautiful, that people want to fall apart and sleep forever!
In my opinion he has already done that for me at least, i know these past two to three years have been a little better by having my fix of Brand New pretty much every day!
Okay now back to the unfortunateness of the real world, i called so many people today and no one answered their phones i feel like they look to see who is calling see my name and then just don't answer, i feel like i am just a back-burner friend like if no one else is around they just turn to me because i'll always be there b/c i'm never needed nor wanted by most all of my friends!
I'm so sick of being sad and crying all the time, i'm always there for everybody and it feels like no one is ever there for me completely! Please use my body while i sleep! I need something to cut my magazine, some scissors maybe. I'm gonna go and find some scissors! Bye to everyone who doesn't care newayz why so i even bother because all i get from this shit is fucking pity and i'm damn near fucking sick of it. Sorry about all of the randomness! Peace out homies!!!

9:09pm: This song was only wishful thinking
Hey hey chillin like a villian at sheena is a punk rockers house(she's thecoolest). Ashley and Caitlyn ditched her tonight i think thats kind of shity of them but if they wanna be like that than thats homosexual!
HAHAHA!!!! Rainey that man is very sexy!!! I saw Amanda Duvall and Tony B. tonight ilike seein my friends like that its fun times! Still waitning for my dream man to come along and sweep me off my feet!
I missed Chris today in food prep he had districts for wrestling, but i still had fun talking to corbin and matt.
I made the right choice tonight! I STILL FUCKING HATE FAKE PEOPLE!!!!!
No sad emo songs tonight i'm in a lot better mood since i got over that loser kid!!!
I love all my friends they kick ass! They own!
DOn't worry about it!