Hilary's Blurty Entries [entries|friends|calendar]
Hilary

[ website | the stars are out tonight ]
[ userinfo | blurty userinfo ]
[ calendar | blurty calendar ]

[29 Dec 2003|11:41pm]
i've relocated to:

http://www.livejournal.com/users/starsareout

yes that's right, i caved in and got a live journal... so there!
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it's not hard to grow when you know that you just don't know [29 Dec 2003|04:33pm]
[ mood | blah ]
[ music | Fenix TX - Tearjerker ]

Oh, I'm all alone
Go hero, you're faking no one, not today...




all the memories, every smile you gave to me
y o u c a n k e e p t h e m
the days go by
the nights don't change
the stars still spell out your name





you don't bring me anything but down

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and this month only will be so lonely [28 Dec 2003|11:48pm]
[ mood | confused ]
[ music | Something Corporate ]

tonight i hung out with ashley, kristen, lenore, and emily and we caused some trouble POST-ITing and ding-dong-dithching people. the stars were so beautiful tonight. the sky was perfectly clear. i could watch the stars for hours. tonight was really fun, but i couldn't help but feel a little down all night. i don't know why.

it feels like something's missing in my life, and i don't know what it is. i hope i find out soon.

sometimes you can just feel so alone in the world. but everyone does, so i guess i shouldn't be so down and complain about it.

but i can't help it...

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hmphhh [27 Dec 2003|12:03am]
[ mood | lonely ]
[ music | The Ataris - Hello and Goodbye ]

...what the hell

new plan of action: Operation Find Hilary a Boyfriend... everyone takes part in this one... we're going to need the extra help

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Happy Christmas to all [25 Dec 2003|03:42pm]
[ mood | content ]
[ music | Captain and Tenille - Love Will Keep Us Together ]

oh what a day! we started the day off at 9:00 with mini stuffed rolls from harvey's (yes, like the egg salad, tuna rolls mmmmmboy) then it was off to the presents. i got a cd player for the accord, so i don't have to force everyone to listen to my brother's billy idol VITAL IDOL cd anymore... we'll have a tape burning ceremony the night we install the cd player, for everyone who wants to come. my dad decided we all needed fart making things in our stockings this year, and my uncle got us survival kits complete with giant gummy rats (yes, rats) to go with our matching oversized big dog sweatshirts. overall, i think it was a good christmas. tonight greg and i are going to see peter pan with our new down vests from the gap, woohoo.

christmas is still just as fun, even without santa. you just have to make your own fun. those farty machines are calling...

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oooooh yeaaaahhhh [24 Dec 2003|12:09am]
[ mood | anxious ]
[ music | Guster - In the Backyard ]

i knew it!!! --> http://collegehumor.com/?image_id=28530&sec=random&pg=1

christmas eve and i have yet to finish my shopping. reeeaaaallll swift hil.

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every penny from my last paycheck, i've blown it on you [23 Dec 2003|11:37pm]
[ mood | mellow ]
[ music | Pennywise - My Own Country ]

well today kristen and i went last-minute christmas shopping (which i STILL didn't finish yet). i don't think i've ever seen the mall that crowded before... after shopping we went to that new place "fresh city" and oh man, they have the BEST burritos ever! i think we found a new place to go instead of panera for the next early release, mmm mmm mmmmm.

tomorrow i get to see my wonderful, beautiful, bestest friend meaghan! yaaaaay! then it's off to the family christmas party at meme and pepe's house, woohoo... i love hanging out with drunken relatives, it's a fun time. :-p at least there's PRESENTS!!! i'm a horrible person.

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[21 Dec 2003|10:52pm]
[ mood | peaceful ]
[ music | Switchfoot - Learning to Breath ]

went shopping for the needy family today with tyler (my brother), tyler's girlfriend dawn, and meridythe (sister). we spent $520 in wal-mart just on toys and clothes alone! all i can say is those kids are going to have one hell of a christmas. i wish i could see their little faces when they open up those presents.

after buying everything, we all went to meridythe's house to wrap the presents, and they showed me the cky2k video, since i'd never seen it before, and this is some great sin in our family, apparently to not have seen it. omg it's so friggin hilarious... i want to see all the other ones because it's just so funny. disgusting, but funny.

tomorrow is the first OFFICIAL day of vacation, since it's a weekday, and i'm so excited! christmas is almost here! yaaaaaay! too bad i have practice. boo to the cult, boo.

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oh, take me back to the start [20 Dec 2003|10:57pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]
[ music | Ben Harper - Burn One Down ]

we had a meet in keene today for sta swimming... fun times... let me tell you, waking up to someone screaming after looking at your face does not make you feel very good about yourself... KATE?! haha. after the meet, me, lenore, kate, kristen, and devan went to see mona lisa smile. what a cute movie, especially the constantinople song and the bikes and the synchronized swimming!

ok, well i've recently had a lot of people coming up to me and telling me how they're obsessed with this jounral (go figure) and i think i should just set the record straight with everyone about what is going on with me right now. WELL, it's vacation, so i get to take a break from the shitload of homework our teachers magically decided to give to us this week. yaaaaaay. despite recent rumors that have been circulating, no, i do NOT have a boyfriend, and *cough* no, i am NOT desperate *cough* so stop asking! ha, well that was my pitiful attempt. i'm your typical 16 year old girl, while i listen to the occasional "angry music," i am still a happy girl, and yeah i wear black on a regular basis. but hey, it's a very flattering color, and it goes with anything. i know a lot of the time, i appear to be a little depressive and down and i like to say how everything in my life goes wrong, which it does a lot of the time, but you need to just smack me and tell me to get over it, because no matter what, things could always be worse, and they usually DO get worse, so no use in moping because that never gets you anywhere. just be happy, it makes you feel a lot better. it's like that song by blind melon...

Find myself singing the same songs everyday
Ones that make me feel good
When things behind the smiles ain't ok

next time you're feeling down, just sing a happy song, or even a sad one and get a good cry out... trust me, you'll feel a lot better. ok well now hilary's advice corner is over, so i'm gonna go listen to some music now (surprise surprise, do i ever do anything else?) FELIZ NAVIDAD

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what's the point in never trying? nothing's changing anyway [18 Dec 2003|06:29pm]
[ mood | rushed ]
[ music | Cake - Alpha Beta Parking Lot ]

ahhhhh! i need to get a present for secret santa, even though my identity has already been revealed (i hate colin)... any suggestions??


the suggestion winner WILL be rewarded, so give 'em to me!

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is this what you call a tact [16 Dec 2003|06:18pm]
[ mood | drained ]
[ music | John Lennon - So This Is Christmas ]

journal's back up... so might as well write

i was massively sick on thursday and friday, then saturday we had the semi... fun time had by all. sunday i decorated the christmas tree with my family, and my dad forgot to order the crab rangoons! :-O ashley and alex frown on you, dad! then monday was a snowday, so i spent it doing what? school work, yay. monday night i went to meg's house and we just hung out and had dinner. it was a fun time :) then today i was still sick, so i didn't go to school. and i yet again, worked on my paper. ahhhh. so, friday, saturday, sunday, monday, and tuesday all spent out of school. not bad, i'd say. too bad i can't fully enjoy it, with my friggin cough. oh well.

i should PROBABLY get back to this paper before martha gets home and yells at me again. welll, one page to go! i can do it! riiiiight...

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kudos to those who see through sickness... [12 Dec 2003|10:40am]
[ mood | sick ]
[ music | Damien Rice - Delicate ]

sooo sick... painful cough, headache, whole body hurts, fever, you know this is so hot. it's funny how the last time i was really sick was 2 years ago at the bowdoin meet, and now when we finally go to bowdoin again, i can't go because i'm SICK! ahhhhh. i've never missed a meet in my life. guess there's a first time for everything... but we tapered and shaved and everything for this meet... this sucks. :( well i guess it's best i stay home so i can get better.

last night seemed to go on FOREVER... i kept waking up every 20 minutes and couldn't get comfortable enough to go back to sleep... i hate nights like those.

listening to music and talking to people is making me feel better :)

2 comments|post comment

[10 Dec 2003|11:17pm]
[ mood | hopeful ]
[ music | Guster - Come Downstairs and Say Hello ]

...voices calling from a yellow road
to come downstairs and say hello
don't be shy, just say h e l l o .

to tell you the truth, i've said it before
t o m o r r o w i ' l l s t a r t i n a n e w d i r e c t i o n .
i know i've been half asleep,
i'm never doing that again.
i look straight at what's coming ahead
and soon it's gonna change in a new direction.
everynight as i'm falling asleep,
those words repeated in my head.

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i just can't explain all the ways you .d.e.v.a.s.t.a.t.e. me [08 Dec 2003|07:48pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]
[ music | No Use For A Name - Why Doesn't Anybody Like Me ]

it's official... my coach is the biggest asshole that ever lived. tonight he bitched me out in the middle of the gym for missing saturday practice and half of friday, even though like more than half the team missed them. for some reason, he thought it was appropriate to pick out me and devan as the culprits of this. THEN he started again, and i was just like, "just because i missed ONE practice..." "No, you missed TWO! you blew off friday, you blew off saturday... you want to go to your dance saturday?" "i CAN'T go to the semi... we have a meet!" "oh no, you can go to your dance, go right ahead!" "dude, i'm sorry, but it was SNOWING saturday!" "there was no snow on the ground, you could have made it" "uhhh, i don't know what ground YOU were looking at, because there was definitely now... talk to my mom, then you can yell at me, k?" "do you even take your swimming seriously?" *rolls eyes and sighs* "DO you?" "yes." "oh, that's pretty sassy, rolling your eyes. real mature." "i'm sorry, but i've had a really bad week, and i don't need you yelling at me right now." "you've had a bad week? don't even start with this depression stuff on me. that's so stupid. if anyone should be pissed it should be me, not you." "ok, whatever." "yeah, ok. try coming to practice everyday." THEN i proceeded to (gently) drop the bar onto the handles, as i was benchpressing, then i swiftly walked over to the locker room and just lost it. that man is a bastard. i sat in there for a good 5 minutes, then spent the next 5 trying to get myself back together. then i walk out, and what do you suppose he is doing? oh you know, laughing and joking with his 'elite' swimmers, his fucking pets. does he say a word to me? hell no. he can fucking die for all i care. as far as i am concerned, he is not my coach. he doesn't care about me and my swimming. he doesn't watch my races, or keep track of my times, and the only time he tries to tell me improvements on my strokes is when my REAL coach bill asks him for suggestions. just because i'm not kristi or drew or jenna fucking barbary, mike couldn't give a flying fuck what i do, but somehow he is mad when i miss a practice and a half, when half of the fucking team misses like THREE?! what the hell. i'm sure if i was carmyn and i missed those practices, he wouldn't care because you know, i'm going to be his next jenny thompson, and i'll go to nationals, which puts a big fat bonus in his wallet. yeah, i know how that goes. the more swimmers at nationals, the more money he gets, and the more he gets to gloat about his greatness, when in reality, these swimmers are just people from OTHER teams with talent that he then recruits onto our team. yeah, great technique, ass. i've spent 7 years of my life on this team, spent hundreds of my parents dollars each year for seven years to contribute to his fucking paycheck, and he treats me like dirt still, because i'm not a 'national swimmer.' now who's the immature one? talk to me when you get a real job. you work 3 fucking hours out of your day, 5 when we have doubles. woohoo, do you want a cookie for that? you don't impress me. at all. and you will NEVER have my respect. never.


You said you know me.
Y o u k n o w n o t h i n g a t a l l .
You said you hate me
Well believe me . I . hate . you . too .

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nothing in my life ever came with a guarantee [07 Dec 2003|09:07pm]
[ mood | devious ]
[ music | Dashboard Confessional - Broken Hearts and Concrete Floors ]

time for...(dun dun dun) the longest survey ever! (ash, is this the one you were talking about?)

____BODY iLLS + SKiLLS
013. do you bite your nails : nope
014. can you roll your tongue : yes
016. can you raise one eyebrow at a time : I can raise the right one but not the left. and believe me, just doing the right one took years of practice.
017. can you blow smoke rings: smoking = gross
018. can you blow spit bubbles : sure
019. can you cross your eyes: yes
020. colored hair: dirty blonde
021. tattoos and where : tattoos are gross on girls
022. piercing and where: ears
023. do you make your bed daily : nope, but sometimes martha does (mom)
024. what goes on first bra or underwear : underwear
025. which shoe goes on first : whichever one i pick up first
036. speaking of shoes, have you thrown one at someone : more often than you'd think, actually
037. how much money is usually in your wallet? : dude, i don't even OWN a wallet
038. what jewelry do you wear: ring that i found in the basement of my parents' store, pooka shell necklace when i remember to put it on
039. whats sexiest on a guy : NOTHING at all... nekked, just the way i like it!
040. whats sexiest on a girl : nothing is sexy on me... i have no idea
041. would you rather be on time and look ok or late and look great : always good to be fashionably late!
042. do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it : neither, i SLURP it!
043. how many cereals are in your cabinet : like 20, but we only eat like 2 of them, and the rest have been sitting in there for god knows how many years
044. what utensils do you use eating pizza : hands, but at school a fork and knife, 'cause i'm a messy person
045. do you cook : ummm well one time, i tried to make pasta and had to end up calling devan and have her tell me over the phone how to do it, so uhhhhh, does instant oatmeal count as cooking?

____GROOMiNG
046. how often do you brush your teeth : twice a day
047. how often do you shower/bathe : every day, usually
048. how long do these showers last : 20 minutes
049. hair drying method : blow dry baby!
050. do you paint your nails : only my toenails, because i am retarded and can't paint with my left hand
051. do you swear : no fucking way.
052. do you mumble to yourself : heh heh, do i mumble...
053. do you spit in public : ewwwe
054. do you pee in the shower: gross
055. whats in your cd player : punk goes acoustic (thanks jason!)
056. person you talk most on the phone with : ummm this is sad, but probably my mom... i don't really use the phone unless i'm like making plans... c'mon, that's what AIM is for!
057. what color is your bedroom? blue, it's SUPPOSED to have stars on the walls, but my mom was too lazy, or she "forgot"
058. do you use an alarm clock : of course
059. name one thing or person you're obsessed with: Jesus, don't get me started...okay...
a. David Boreanaz
b. Super Troopers/Old School/Zoolander/Dude, Where's My Car?!
c. my Mad Caddies and Dashboard shweatshirts
d. having music on at all times... and when i can't, singing to myself
e. finding bands nobody's ever heard of
f. SCAVENGER HUNTS
g. 2 words: Keegan Hoey. mmmmm... okok maybe Dane Cook instead
h. sooo many more things...you guys know
060. have you ever skinny dipped with the opposite sex : that's what camping is for! haha good times
061. ever sunbathed in the nude: nope, but yesterday i found this nudist camp in lee, so ya know, there's always next summer! haha
062. window seat or aisle : window, i'm obsessed with staring out the window
063. whats your sleeping position: side, stomach, back, i tear up the bed when i sleep, i think i can pretty much sleep in any position
064.
065.
What happened to those two??
066. do you snore : well seeing as i can't watch or listen to myself when i sleep, i have no idea
067. do you sleepwalk : no but that would be kinda cool...my sister used to
068 do you talk in your sleep: well apparently I sang in my sleep? which, if you ask me, takes talent.
069. do you sleep with a stuffed animal : nope, my kitty sleeps with me :)
070. how about the light on : nahh
071. do you fall asleep with the tv or radio on: always have the radio on

____WHEN WAS THE LAST TiME YOU
072. had sex: oh, like an hour ago (er maybe never?)
073. were kissed: oh come on, this is cruel...
074. watched bambi: oh god, like 10 years ago... i need to watch that again
076. talked on the phone : few hours ago
077. read a book : i don't read books, i spark note or pink monkey note EVERYTHING
078. punched someone : my brother yesterday

____MUSiC
079. is music important to you : considering i just wrote a 7 page research paper on the importance of music in our everyday lives... YES
080. do you sing? : when i'm alone, and no one can hear my pitiful attempts
081. what instruments do you play?: ummm, way back in the day, i used to play the flute... and next semester i'm taking PERCUSSION! yeehaw!
082. what do you think of Eminem: ugh. he's being investigated again because they think his song lyrics are a threat against george dubya, hahahahahaha

___DO YOU LiKE
083. pop music : DIE
084. rock music : yeah
085. punk music : yeah
086. rap music : it's not music, really
087. hip-Hop/RB : only when i'm driving... don't ask why
088. country : no way jose
089. jazz : when i'm in the mood
090. classical: it helps when i'm trying to write papers
091. new age : no
092. what is one band/singer you like that no one has heard of? i'll put this one in because josh from the band said i need to tell my friends about them, and because they are rad... ESTRELA!

___ABC'S
A - Act your age: not usually
B - Born on what day of the week: Friday, the party day, woohoo!
C - Chore you hate : i don't have chores! muahahahahah
D - Dad's name? Leo
E - Essential makeup item? concealer, but it does NOTHING under a blacklight, ewwwwe
F - Favorite actor? David Boreanaz
G - Gold or silver? silver
H - Hometown? Dover, NH
I - Instruments you play? flute, and drums in the near future!
J - Job title? unemployed :( (no time during the school year, but i scooped ice-cream this summer!)
K - Kids? are cute from a distance and in variation
L - Living arrangements? mom/dad/dogs/kitty
M - Mom's name? Martha
N - Number of people you've slept with? dude, i'm a friggin junior in highschool... but with my school's rep that's not saying much, but still... NONE! virgin and proud
O - Overnight hospital stays? zero, but i've always wanted to do that
P - Phobia? I have many
Q - Quote you like? "Here's the thing. There's moments in your life that make you, that set the course of who you're gonna be. Sometimes they're little, subtle moments. Sometimes they're not. I'll show you what I mean." -Buffy The Vampire Slayer
and "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't look around once and a while, you might miss it." -Ferris Bueler's Day Off
"The snozberries taste like snozberries!" "Put your hand down, little Steve!" ok i'll stop now.
R - Religious affiliation? ummm catholic i think?
S - Siblings? two brothers, one sister
T - Time you wake up?: for school, 6:09
U - Unique habit? i do one mean chubacca impression
V - Vegetable you refuse to eat: beets! they're disgusting! same with asparagus, spinach, squash, and sweet potatoes
W - Worst habit? playing with my hair, bursting into song (i can't sing at ALL), and saying things before i think about it
X - ? <-- Excuse me?
Y - Yummy food you make? my instant oatmeal is pretty MMMliscious and ramen noodles, yes those are good. and "my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. and they're like, it's better than yours" sorry i couldn't resist. i'm going to hell.
Z - Zodiac Sign? Taurus

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I could use a fresh beginnning too... [06 Dec 2003|12:21pm]
[ mood | disappointed ]
[ music | Nine Days - Bitter ]

well yesterday was starting off so nice... it was the day before semi, everything was organized for the next night, and i was really excited for the semi to come. then the morning announcements come on, and there's mr. quimby. yes, the semi has been postponed to next saturday, and oh, the most important announcement was if you brought in baked goods for the dance to FREEZE them?! fuck off quimby, i hate you. yes, we have a swim meet up at bowdoin college in east bumfuck maine next saturday, and will i be able to make it to the one night of my year when i get all dressed up and get my hair done and hang out with a HOT date all night? probably not. why the hell does everything i get all excited for have to go down in flames? i've been anticipating this night for MONTHS, and now they just rip it away from me. and of course, my asshole coach has no sympathy... he LAUGHED when we told him what happened! devan, casey, and katrina want us to just bring our dresses to the meet and walk around the hotel with them and make our own semi formal, but it's just not the same. this year i was really excited to go. we had everything all planned out, i had an awesome dress, an even more awesome date, and it was SO CLOSE! everything good to me, just torn away in a minute by gordon fucking quimby. i hate my luck.



last night i got home from practice and was getting packed to go to kristen's house, and i looked at my dress and just broke down. this is so depressing...


right now i should be taking a shower and getting ready to go get my hair done for the semi, which was SUPPOSED to be tonight, but nooooo... once again, hilary loses

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and it feels like i'm at an all-time low [04 Dec 2003|02:57pm]
[ mood | worried ]
[ music | The Starting Line - Selective ]

oh god tonight is progress report night



oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god




here's hoping for the best :-/

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black coat, white shoes, black hat, cadillac... [02 Dec 2003|11:07pm]
[ mood | hopeful ]
[ music | Rancid - Time Bomb ]

blkNbluMarker: you need to write about our fun time lazer taging!
this one's for the beckster... since, well, she DID hit me ELEVEN times in lazer tag

we went lazer tagging friday, and yes, of course, i get the gun that doesn't work, so i get hit 57 times, while hitting no one and apparently firing no shots... what a jip. me, becky, kate, lenore, and krystian took on these two 10 year old boys, and boy, did we give them a beating! and if my gun had worked, i would have wiped the floor with them, cause i was all over that! haha. me and kate, charlie's angel style, firing shots while going down into synchronized splits... me doing somersaults while shooting... quick break to dance in the dark with our guns... and of course the sexy plastic wal-mart hats! what a fun time! let me just say that becky WASTED me on that game... every time i turned around, oops, there goes my vest, and i'm dead AGAIN. it was a fun time... i say we do it again after the semi, in our dresses and everything! haha


music makes me happy. :)



pray for NO SNOW! no snowstorm the night of the semi pleeeeeaaaaaaaasssssse

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this war i swore meant more before [02 Dec 2003|03:14pm]
[ mood | grateful ]
[ music | Off By One - Cinderella ]

snow is a wonderful little thing.


starting classes 1/2 hour late... good thing


my pants are too big... maybe i should tighten this belt











i wish it would snow everyday:)

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looks like the joke's on me... so call me Captain Backfire [30 Nov 2003|08:36pm]
[ mood | content ]
[ music | Hole - Celebrity Skin ]

what an excellent vacation, except for getting stood up! *cough* bill! *cough* haha jk. thursday night i went with meaghan, kristen, and hilary to see love actually. that is such a good movie, if anyone needs a recommendation for something to see! friday i went to portsmouth with kate, krystian, lenore, and becky, then we went to joker's to play lazer tag and to wal-mart. woohoo, plastic hats and 25cent sodas! haha. then that night alexis and gordon came over and we rented zoolander (classic) and alexis recited like every single fackin word in the movie! spaz. and we made poor gordon an hour late getting home. haha oh well. saturday and sunday we had a meet in exeter... it went pretty well, considering everyone's been DEAD for the past few weeks. hopefully we start to taper this week for bowdoin? :) saturday night kenny was having a party, but i couldn't go because i already had plans, which got SHOT DOWN THE TUBE... haha it's ok bud, i forgive you. i didn't feel really good anyway because i've been (surprise surprise) sick again lately. so i just rented finding nemo and tuck everlasting and made a night of it. then tonight it was off to visit meme and pepe for pepe's big 7-9! yeehaw

talked to some people i hadn't talked to in forever today. so that was nice. it's funny how you just sort of forget people after not keeping in touch, but once you talk to them again you wonder how the hell you could have lost touch. i;m in such a good mood, and i have no idea why, considering i'm usually pissed on sunday nights. ugh, i do NOT want to go to school tomorrow, but hey the semi is coming up in (countdown) 7 days! woohoo! i can't wait to get my hair done and get all dressed up and preeeeeeetty! what a great time. :-D

Happiness is a handful of days away
It's easier to count the days than hours
We learned that the hard way
The number is lesser in value
And easier to swallow

So let's make the best of a great situation...

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